*Written by AngryBaby
How You Know You Are Living In A TVB series
After many years of marinating in TVB series, I have come up with 25 signs on how you know you are in living in a TVB series;
1. You easily find parking right in front of wherever it is you need to go, be it a street shop, someone’s apartment, company or hospital emergency ward
2. Your house is beautiful, it is large with trendy expensive furnishings and commercial like kitchen – despite the fact you are a teacher, a cop or an office worker.
3. All the oldies know how to use the internet, webcam, text messages, video messages on mobile etc
4. You see the same people doing multiple jobs like waiter, delivery, bar tender, doctor etc.
5. Working people have time for full sit-down continental breakfasts (with bright fluro orange juice), nice long lunches, dinners at quiet restaurants, washed down with late night drinks.
6. Luxurious western style restaurants, where you have lunches and dinners, have wobbly and flimsy fold-out tables under the fancy tablecloths.
7. You like drinking air from cups
8. You like drinking no-brand soft drinks & beer, or way too much of that bottled green tea rubbish (which is put in oh so ‘subtly’ for advertising purposes)
9. You don’t have many friends
10. But there are lots of strangers that come to your wedding, funeral and parties.
11. You avoid most public transport, but if you have to – take a minibus but not the MTR
12. You play instruments without moving in time or need of a score
13. You have perfect hair in sleeping and waking, when you’re at hospital and in coma
14. Everyone gets a private hospital room
15. You know you’ve been ‘cut-loose’ by TVB from the series when you migrate to Canada, Australia or (if you’re special) London– especially as a student.
16. You work on and get your boss to sign off on empty manila folders and files
17. You have director board meetings everyday
18. Kids are always insightful, right, misunderstood, sweet and contrite – they are never bratty, annoying, spoiled or egotistical.
19. To work out who the bad guy or the culprit is (esp in police dramas) just look for the biggest extra ( ke-leh-fair )
20. Parents are always the ever eager match-makers and are desperate for their kids to marry.
21. On the extremely rare occasions that male leads cheat on their girlfriend/wife they are drunk
22. No female lead character has EVER cheated on her boyfriend/husband drunk, sober or otherwise
23. If you’re kidnapped, any bladder and personal hygiene issues are averted from the story
24. Court cases can be fought, judged and settled on the same day or very short space of time
25. Notice how the popular main characters (whom the audience should aspire to) aren’t lying around on couches and wasting their time watching TVB series (or any tv for that matter). But are actually off their backsides and doing something useful…
Bu Bu Jing Xinstarring Cecilia Liu Shi Shi, Kevin Cheng, Nicky Wu, Yuan Hong
The New Adventure Of Chor Lau Heung (DVD, English subs)starring Miu Kiu Wai, Barbara Yung