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A Happy Hero
Prologue I: Guo DaLu and Wang Dong
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Guo DaLu’s character matched his name, he truly was a very DaLu person. “DaLu” meant very straightforward, carefree, even a little dense. No matter what the situation, he would not put it to heart.
And yet Wang Dong never moves. [*Dong means motion.]
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Straightforward people were usually poor. Guo DaLu was especially poor, ridiculously poor.
He actually shouldn’t have been so poor.
Originally, it could be said that he was a man who had a lot of money. When a wealthy person suddenly becomes poor, there can only be two reasons: One, he was stupid. Or two, he was lazy.
Guo DaLu was not stupid, he could do a lot more than most people, and do them better. For example, when it came to riding horses, he could ride the fastest horse and the wildest horse.
When it came to swords, with one stab he could penetrate iron body armor as well as a willow catkin floating with the spring breeze.
If you were his friend, and met him when his mood was especially good, he might jump into the river and catch some carps with his bare hands as well as some wild geese, and make a dish of steamed fish and roasted duck for you to munch on. After eating his dishes, it’s guaranteed you won’t be disappointed.
His cooking skill was not below that of any of the famous chefs from the capital.
His can perform song renditions on the pipa that would make you think he had been performing since birth.
Some people believe that other than giving birth, he could do anything.
He was also not lazy, not only that but he would constantly be searching for something to do. And the things he has done have not been few. So how could a person like him become poor?
The first thing he tried his hand at was escorting goods.
When he first made his debut, his parents had just died and he either sold or gave away the family’s dwelling and properties. He wanted to rely on his own talent, and enter the martial world.
Of course he wasn’t a very good businessman, nor was he ever interested in being a good businessman, so he only made 170 liang from selling land that should have been worth 300 liang. And after adding up all the things he gave away to poor relatives and friends, what he had left wasn’t much.
But there was still enough for him to purchase a good horse, forge a fast sword, rest at the best inns, and eat at the best restaurants.
Back then it was Spring. Spring was a season when business for escort agencies were at their best. [*No, not escorts as in prostitutes. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0"> Escorts as in the people who guard transported goods.]
When business is peaking for the escort agencies, that is also the time when business peaks for the robbers.
ZhongYuan Escort Agency’s boss was Luo ZhenYi. Although he wasn’t old, his worldly experience was, so naturally he understood how it works. Therefore when he was on the road, he was especially careful. It was Spring and the goods he was protecting was not light.
However it is not enough to be careful when you’re an escort. Your martial arts also had to be strong, and your luck had to be good.
Luo ZhenYi’s martial arts was not weak, but this time his luck was not good to have unexpectedly encountered the most troublesome criminal in the Two Rivers, the OuYang Brothers.
The OuYang Brothers were not two people, nor were they three, or four......OuYang Brothers was just one person.
Although he was only one person, he was more harder to defeat than forty people. His left hand wielded a short sabre, his right hand wielded a long sabre, and at the same time he could still fire off seven or eight different types of hidden weapons. Very few people can tell where his hidden weapons came from.
Luo ZhenYi also couldn’t tell. First he evaded three “Embroidered Headpiece Flower Bolts”, and one “Moon Chasing Meteor Arrow”, but who knew that with a flip of his sabre, OuYang Brothers shot out another pair of Mother and Child Frost Needles.
Deadly needles, even their victims couldn’t figure out where they had come from.
Luo ZhenYi’s right shoulder got hit with these needles, and although he didn’t die immediately, all he could manage to do now was wait for OuYang Brothers to come take his life.
Even if OuYang Brothers didn’t want his life, with his merchandise lost, he could only hang himself and take his own life.
At this moment, a speeding horse suddenly approached. The horse was fast, but the person was faster. Before the horse even reached them, it’s rider was already there. OuYang Brothers could only see someone fall from the air, and before he had time to release one of his seven or eight hidden weapons, his left and right arteries were already severed by this person’s sword.
This rescuer dropping from the air was naturally Guo DaLu.
Luo ZhenYi was not only grateful towards his rescuer, but also admired him. After dropping off the merchandise, he insisted on inviting him back to the agency.
Guo DaLu naturally went, as he didn’t have anything more important to do anyway.
Even if he did have pressing matters, he’d still go.
This was his first time fighting. He suddenly discovered that not only was his martial arts decent, his luck at meeting people was also good.
Luo ZhenYi was a bit perplexed and asked: “With great skills such as Brother Guo’s, why not become an escort?”.
Guo DaLu did not ask: “Why must a good martial artist become an escort?”.
He only thought that being an escort would be very prestigious, very interesting.
For a person who just entered the martial world to become the assistant boss of an escort bureau, it was sufficiently prestigious, sufficiently remarkable!
The only thing Guo DaLu was a little disappointed about was that ZhongYuan Escort Agency wasn’t the biggest escort agency in ZhongYuan. In fact, it wasn’t even counted among the top tier of agencies there.
He waited many days before he finally got his first assignment, and it wasn’t even a big assignment. Just helping someone from KaiFeng deliver a few thousand dollars to LuoYang.
The journey wasn’t far, the merchandise wasn’t big, and with such an assistant boss, the boss was naturally able to feel relieved and remained at home to comfortably recover from his injuries.
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Oh yeah, just so nobody thinks this is fan-fiction and wonders what the heck it's doing here, this is a translation of a Gu Long novel: Huan Le Ying Xiong. <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">
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Good! Good! another translation! Tiger in the hizzzouse! <IMG SRC="smilies/ninja.gif" border="0">
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It was still Spring, early morning. The escort carts started on their way.
The year starts with Spring, the day starts with the morning, it was a good beginning.
The escort banner fluttered in the wind, the shouts of the men resonated loud and clear. Guo DaLu wore a purple vest, with a sheathed sword by his belt and riding a large white horse. The Spring sun was starting to rise, it’s rays shining warmly on his body and washing across distant jade mountains, young swallows were building nests in the trees.
His heart felt very happy and satisfied.
He only hoped to encounter some bandits. It was not entirely because he wished to prove his worth or raise his prestige. It was because he wanted to make a few more friends.
The more friends the better. He liked having friends. If he could become friends with people like that, it would be an exciting and interesting thing. And if could pursuade them to change their evil ways, that would be more wonderful than mere words could describe.
Then he really met some.
But unfortunately the ones he met were not the type of wealth sharing, hearty eating, hard drinking bandits he’d imagined. Nor did they appear to be the heroic types whose word was their bond and whom would take a few sabre blows for their fellow mates. The ones he encountered were just a group of small-time thieves, with ashen faces as if they haven’t eaten for three days. Their clothes were covered with patches, and even their sabres were rusty.
Although Guo DaLu was disappointed, he’d already met them so there wasn’t anything he could do about it. First he needed to show off a couple of his moves to stop them in their tracks, then patiently lecture them, hoping that they would turn over a new leaf, become peaceful citizens, and no longer disgrace their ancestors.
At first, his martial arts scared them so much that they were dumbstruck like chickens, but then his teachings got them so emotional, tears flowed out their eyes. Each one of them was determined to become a better person.
“But none of us have any talent, what can we possibly do? If we don’t rob, I’m afraid all of us will starve to death.”.
“Starting a small business is not bad, even if you only sell steamed buns it’s still better than being bandits.”.
“But without a bit of money, what kind of business can we start? Might as well die.”.
These people, with tears flowing out of their eyes and mucus coming out of their noses, were really a pitiful sight.
Guo DaLu was almost moved to tears as well.
“No money, that’s easy. I have money.”.
Wasn’t the merchandise carts filled with money?
You can’t really start a small business with little money, when Guo DaLu does something he does it in a big way.
“Everybody gets 100 liang.”.
Everyone thanked him profusely, and afterwards they left with cheers. Even from far away, one could hear them say: “Our benefactor is not only a brave hero, he is simply a saint.”.
Guo DaLu’s heart was also burning with emotion: “Man is inherantly good, if one wasn’t forced with no other options, who would want to become a robber?”.
By the time he calmed down, he suddenly discovered two things: One, more than half the money in the carts have been distributed away.
Two, that money wasn’t his.
The other escorts in the group all looked at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths. No one could tell what they all thought of him.
A big hero? A saint? Or a retard?
With more than half the merchandise gone, the agency naturally had to compensate for it.
When Guo DaLu returned to the agency, his heart did not feel entirely right, but he was also not too discomforted.
He had confidence that he could make up for this loss, people with talent all have this kind of confidence.
“I bought my horse for 280 liang, and I still have more than 700 liang on me, that adds up to be a bit over 1000 liang. Let’s pay them back first and talk later.”.
What about the rest?
“If the agency can help cover the rest, I can slowly pay it back with my salary as assistant escort boss.”.
For the ZhongYuan Escort Agency to have been able to hire an assistant boss such as himself, in the future it’s fame would surely gradually increase, it’s business would surely get better and better. Of course, his salary couldn’t be too small, he’d be able to repay everything in no time.
Luo ZhenYi was listening to him this whole time, listening until he was completely dumbfounded, listening in total shock.
Guo DaLu was still self-assured, because he thought the plan he came up with made a lot of sense.
He couldn’t imagine that Luo ZhenYi would suddenly kneel down.
Luo ZhenYi wasn’t kneeling to ask him to stay, it was to thank him for saving his life and begging him to leave, the quicker the better, the farther the better.
“You rescued me, I’m helping you pay your debt, let’s call it even. I’ve never seen anyone like you before, Master Guo, I can only pray that I never will again.
Therefore Guo DaLu left.
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Regarding Translation
Hiya Tiger and Co. [GoldenArm. haha],
Congrats to being the first and second to posting here. :D
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Thks for the translation TigerWong. Reading it now. :)
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What happened to the Big Time Celebrity Translation?:confused:
Thanks anyway for translating another story.
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I still plan on continuing with the Big Time Celebrity translation. But although I think that is a great story, I decided to step away a bit and translate something I haven't read yet just to keep things fresh for myself (I'm only a few chapters ahead of the parts I've posted) :) I hope you guys enjoy this one, I've heard good things about it...
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But where would he go? Right now, even though his belt still carried a sword, even though his clothes were still fresh, he no longer had his big white horse. The few remaining pieces of money he had were no longer enough to allow him to stay at the finest inns. Even if he ate steamed buns and slept on hard pallets, it would not last him several days.
Did Guo DaLu feel a little nervous, a little uncomfortable?
Nope, he didn’t care at all.
For a talented man such as himself, why should he fear that there wouldn’t be any rice to eat? How could that not be a joke?
He still searched out the best restaurant, with good wine and good dishes, and enjoyed a wonderful meal.
Any man who finished a good meal would be in an especially good mood. Besides, after having six or seven servings of wine, even the most despicable people would become lovable in his eyes.
Therefore he gave all the money he had left to that lovable waiter. Therefore when he stepped out the door, his wallet was washed clean.
Where would the next meal come from? He didn’t have a clue.
But how was that of any concern? Now the only thing that mattered was finding a comfortable place to sleep.
“Tomorrow is another day”. No matter what the situation may be, come tomorrow there is always a solution. To worry about tomorrow’s affairs right now would be pointless.
Guo DaLu yawned, and sauntered into the city’s best inn.
He only forgot one thing.
Although an inn’s door was always open and it was very easy to walk in, when it comes time to walk out, it gets much harder. If you didn’t have any money in your pockets, they will not let you saunter out.
Of course Guo DaLu wouldn’t just slip out or bring shame upon himself, so how would he manage?
During this time he became a little worried and paced a few circles around the courtyard. Suddenly he spotted a red strip of paper attached to a wall that said: “Urgently hiring chefs.”.
So Guo DaLu became a chef.
With the escort job, from start to finish, he still managed to last half a month.
As a chef he lasted three days.
During those three days, he used up more than twenty catties of oil, dropped more than thirty bowls, and broke more than forty plates.
The only reason they were patient with him, was because the dishes Guo DaLu prepared were actually quite decent. Sometimes finding a good chef was much harder than finding a good wife, but when Guo DaLu dropped a pan of sweet and sour fish on a customer’s face they just couldn’t take it anymore.
That customer only criticized his fish as being too bland and asked that he put more salt on it. Guo DaLu’s temper flared up and he pointed at the man’s nose scolding loudly: “Have you ever eaten sweet and sour fish? Have you ever even eaten fish? You can’t make sweet and sour fish too salty, don’t you know that?!”.
If every chef was that ferocious, would anyone dare come in anymore?
At this point, even if they had allowed him to stay on, he no longer felt like continuing anymore. After three days of being a chef, his only reward was that his entire body had another layer of grease and smoke, and his pockets were still empty.
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If Guo Jing is seen by some as JY's Forrest Gump, is Guo DaLu his counterpart in GL's universe?
This guy is so straight that he is "dumb"
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Heh, Guo DaLu is quite a character. :) I was thinking the same thing when I was reading it (that he was like Forrest Gump). But wait until you meet his friends.:p
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Hmm! Good that you're doing this, Tigerwong! I have heard great things about this novel too. I look forward to your translations.
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Thanks! Since you're already doing one of my favorites, I had to find something else. :)
But you might be better off just picking it up and reading it. Much faster that way. :p
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Thks
Hiya gys,
Thks TigerWong for this new translation. :)
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Translation is as interesting as the other translations in this forum, meaning of excellent quality. :)
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So far, the hero is a mixed bag. haha. Especially when he gave his employer's money to thieves. 0.o First time I read a hero did this. :p
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Of course, Guo DaLu wasn’t concerned at all. He was willing to do anything, why should he be worried?
The question was, what should he do?
Guo DaLu started to think and pondered for half a day before suddenly realizing that most of the things he could do required spending money -- riding horses, drinking wine, giving flowers, giving orders. Can these things earn him any money?
Luckily there were still a couple of things that could earn him some money, for example, singing.
When he sang in the past, people usually applauded him. One person even asked him: “Did you learn how to sing in your mother’s womb?”.
And someone else said: “With that voice of his and further musical study, if he really decided to become a singer, all the other performers won’t have anything to eat.”.
Although Guo DaLu didn’t want to take other people’s food, his belly started to sing a song of emptyness.
Therefore he went to a restaurant he has never been to before, and prepared to sing.
As soon as he went upstairs, all the waiters immediately surrounded him, laughing with him, pouring tea and handing out towels and asking: “What would Master like to eat today? What would you like to drink? Today’s fish was especially delivered here on a fast horse from JiangNan, do you want us to freshly kill one to accompany some thirty year old ShaoXing wine?”.
With such a stylish man like Guo DaLu, if the waiters didn’t suck up to him, who else would they badger?
Guo DaLu’s face reddened as if he’s already had the ShaoXing wine, “I’m here to perform songs”, how would he even be able to say something like this now?
After a long pause, he finally started to say: “I’m actually looking for someone......” before he finished his sentence, he was quickly shooed downstairs and out the door like he was being chased by whips.
Of course he couldn’t blame the waiters, he could only blame himself for not being able to look like a song performer.
“Alas, it seems that if someone looks too good he can also lose out, maybe it’d be better if I were uglier.”.
Although Guo DaLu was sighing, he had the sudden urge to go look in a mirror.
If he can’t sing, what should he do now?
“The Heavens granted me this pair of clever hands, theres gotta be something I can do.”.
Guo DaLu has always been happy with his pair of hands.
He stared at his strong fingers, and suddenly thought of something that had always been a part of the martial world.
“Yes, I’ll sell my skill on the streets, with my martial arts who wouldn’t be able to appreciate it?”.
Guo DaLu was so happy he even forgot about the hunger in his belly, and wondered why he didn’t think of this great idea two days ago.
Although the sky was dark, the streets were still very crowded.
Guo DaLu picked the busiest corner, and prepared to perform.
But before starting, it felt like he should first give some kind of introductory speech.
What should he say?
Guo DaLu didn’t have any problems talking when he shouldn’t, but when it came time for him to say something, he couldn’t come up with anything.
“It’s not big deal if I don’t say anything, besides people will be coming to see me perform not listen to me talk; Just as soon as I reveal my skills theres no doubt that people will start crowding around to watch.”.
So Guo DaLu pulled back his sleeves, tucked in his shirt, and started performing his flashiest fist techniques.
When he punched, his fists looked like wild tigers leaping from the forest. His kicks were like dragons entering the sea. Images of his fists flew everywhere, the force of their wind whoosed in the air. Naturally, every move was a display of true kung fu.
But not only did people not crowd around, they moved far, far away. Even some of the more courageous people, only dared to stand behind the corner of a building and sneaked peeks.
“That person on the street started swinging his fists for no reason, what’s his problem?”.
At first, Guo DaLu still thought everything was cool, but then he gradually realized that something was not right.
Luckily he caught on to this quickly.
“What I’m displaying is true kung fu, no fancy stuff. Of course these ordinary people can’t appreciate that. Fine, I’ll just show them something startling to get their attention.”.
After realizing this point, Guo DaLu suddenly spun his body around and “BANG!”, with one punch he smashed a big hole in the wall behind him. “BANG!”, with one foot he kicked down a stone pillar they use to tie horses to -- of course, his pants ripped while he was doing this.
With screams of terror, everyone on the streets scattered. A few shops even locked their doors, all because of this lunatic out on the street who must have taken the wrong medicine. So this was the result of Guo DaLu’s attempt at showcasing his martial arts talent, all the time he spent practising his fists and displaying his earth-moving strength and all he ended up with was some ripped trousers.
Why wasn’t his story as interesting as those soul-stirring heroes?
Can’t be helped, there are many things in this world that sound great when you listen to them, but isn’t so great when you’re experiencing them.
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Oh, and thanks for reading (this one seems to be getting more attention than my other one ever did :)). I'm glad you guys get to enjoy some of Gu Long's less familiar works (as well as old favorites like Dagger Lee).
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Yeah, another story to read. :D
Actually, I like the Big Celebrity but hope to see a happier fate for our girl.
I have never heard of this one either and looking forward to reading it.
thanks TigerWong. :hatoff:
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I like this guy so far, pretty cool. Thx Tiger for translating , gonna have to go find a copy of this. I was actually lookiing forward to somemore of Big Celebrity but this is just as good.
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So far is this all part of the Prologue or has chptr 1 already started?
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Hey, I'm glad there were some who liked Big Time Celebrity. I definitely plan to return to that one sometime. Tian SiSi always cracks me up and it was starting to get to the parts where the fighters show up.
Actually, the feel of this novel is kinda similiar. Very lighthearted and it takes the time to develop the characters, making sure the readers know exactly what these guys' personalities are before the real story starts. There are 3 long prologues introducing the heroes, the first is almost done. Then chapter one of our gang's grand adventure will begin. :)
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Wow 3 prologues. There was enough happening already in just the prologue that I thought chptr 1 must have started already. Thanx TigerWong for the great translation.
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Thanks Tiger Wong.
This novel really smell GL's excitement & characteristic in writing although just read the begining of the story I start to like it.
BTW, what about the Da Ren Wu translation? no mean to hurry you but just can't wait the story so long. ha ha ha...
Just curiousity, are you the same Tiger Wong from Hong Kong that do several comics ( Tiger Wong, etc).
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Hey, I'll be lucky if I finish this one! But yeah, I'll get back to Da Ren Wu someday, just felt like trying something different. Got sick of all the Early Period GL stories I was reading, and so I picked one of the best remaining stories in his Mid Period (my favorite) that I haven't read yet. But I think once I finish this, I'm afraid there isn't anything left of his to read that is good... :(
No, I am not the same guy who does the comics (that's Tony Wong), but my login name is based on one of his characters.
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Just curious, any list of the total output of GL?
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Something over 70. Not sure of the exact number.
One list can be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/kauyimhak/novels.html
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You are righ Tiger Wong. The Comicus is Tony Wong.
So this is the midle age of GL novel, seems a little bit difference but still has GL touch. The hero is very funny so is the story
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That evening, Guo DaLu had no choice but be hungry and slept on an altar in a run-down temple.
Of course, he could have gone and eat at the best restaurants and sleep at the best inns and worry about the consequences later, but although our hero is a bit dense, he was not a scoundrel. Even if he died, he wouldn’t do anything disgraceful.
“Even if I need to steal, I’ll be a famous bandit, not some small-time chicken or dog thief.”.
During afternoon of the following day, Guo DaLo suddenly decided on becoming a bandit.
He didn’t know where this decision came from -- probably from a stomach that was fast becoming worn out.
“Being a bandit isn’t too bad, there were a lot of righteous bandits who rob the rich to help the poor, weren’t their stories passed down across time within the martial world?”.
Therefore Guo DaLu decided to become a bandit, a righteous big-time bandit of course.
This time he was determined to succeed and not fail.
“To do something well, one must have a good plan before starting.”.
To become a thief, what should he need to consider?
Number one, he needed to find the right house to rob of course, the owner needs to be a very wealthy person, as well as someone who is ruthless in obtaining wealth. If it was a corrupt government official, that would be even better.
If you take money from this kind of person, others will not only not blame you, they’d actually clap and cheer for you.
Guo DaLu got alert, and started to look around in all directions. After searching for a long time, he finally found the right house.
It was situated on a mountainside, it was very large and extravagant.
That meant the owner must be very wealthy.
The house was very far from the urban areas, it was very isolated and remote. You can almost say it was in the wilderness, it’s closest neighbor was a cemetery.
This meant the owner must not be an honest and upright person, honest people don’t live in places like that.
It all matched his criteria perfectly, now all he needed to do was wait for the perfect time to strike.
The perfect time was naturally during the night.
But Guo DaLu couldn’t wait that long, at dusk he rushed into the house.
The first thing he laid eyes on was a bed.
The bed was huge and very, very comfortable.
On the bed laid a man.
Other than this, he didn’t see anything else.
This house was very large, it was constructed magnificently. From end to end, it must have had at least thirty rooms, the biggest one could hold more than ten tables of liquor.
But all the many rooms in the house were empty, even the kitchen was empty.
Guo DaLu paused.
The man lying on the bed wasn’t sleeping, his eyes were wide open this whole time, but even though Guo DaLu had been running back and forth searching the place, this man completely ignored him.
Finally, Guo DaLu couldn’t help but rush up to the bed to ask him what was going on.
This man actually asked first: “Have you found anything of worth yet?”.
Guo DaLu could only shake his head.
This person sighed and said: “I already knew you wouldn’t find anything, I’ve already searched for three days, even the last rusty saucepan has been taken by me to exchange for some biscuits. If you could still find something, your talent must not be small.”.
He wasn’t bad looking, just a bit emaciated, it appeared as if he barely had enough strength to speak and definitely looked like a person who has been starving for several days.
But the bed he was lying on was actually a good bed in every sense.
How can this empty house still have this kind of a good bed? Why was this person resting on this bed?
Guo DaLu suddenly asked: “What kind of place is this actually?”.
This person said: “Regarding this manor’s master, he really is very famous.”.
Guo DaLu: “Famous? How so?”.
The man: “Have you ever heard the name of Wealthy Manor? This place is Wealthy Manor.”.
Guo DaLu abruptly called out: “Wealthy Manor? This desolate place is actually called Wealthy Manor?”.
The man: “That’s absolutely correct. If a fat man can become very thin, Wealthy Manor can also become very poor, what is so strange about that?”.
Guo DaLu: “Then what kind of person are you? What are you doing in this ghostly place?”.
The man cleared his throat and said: “If I don’t stay here then where should I stay? I am the seventh generation master of Wealthy Manor.”.
Guo DaLu paused again.
The man’s eyes had been riveted to Guo DaLu’s sword this whole time, and suddenly said: “This sword of yours appears to be well crafted.”.
Guo DaLu: “It is well crafted.”.
The man: “It looks like it should be worth a bit of money.”.
Guo DaLu called out: “A bit? Do you know how to judge quality or not?”.
After a while, he sighed: “You’re telling me to go pawn my sword and buy some food and wine for you to eat?”.
The man laughed: “You finally understand.”.
Guo DaLu: “Do you realize what I’ve come here to do?”.
The man: “Of course, you’re here to steal money.”.
Guo DaLu stared at him: “You know I’m a thief, but you still want to take advantage of me?”.
The man laughed: “Although you’re a thief, I’m just a poor ghost. When a thief encounters a poor ghost, he can only resign himself to having bad luck.”. Guo DaLu looked at him, and suddenly realized that this person’s laughter was very charming.
He couldn’t help but laugh as well: “Even if you want to take advantage of me, the least you could do is take my sword, pawn it, and buy some food and wine yourself to bring back for me to eat.”.
The man said: “If you’re going to do a good deed, you might as well do it to the end. It’s best if you take the trip.”.
Guo DaLu: “What about you? You’re too lazy to even move?”.
The man sighed: “Think about it, if I weren’t lazy how could I have become this poor?”.
Guo DaLu paused for the third time. He had truly never seen anyone like this before, he didn’t have any means of dealing with this type of person.
He really did go exchange his sword for some food and wine and returned.
After putting a duck leg and half a catty of wine in his belly, the man finally sat up on the bed and smiled: “I’m drinking your wine, and I don’t even know your name.”.
Guo DaLu said: “I’m called Guo DaLu, the ‘da’ in straightforward, the ‘lu’ in road.”.
The man said: “DaLu -- you are really worthy of your name, you really are very straightforward.”.
Guo DaLu: “And you? What’s your name?”.
The man: “I’m called Wang Dong. The ‘wang’ in king, the ‘dong’ in motion like rabbit.”.
Guo DaLu looked at him, and after looking for a long time he suddenly laughed loudly: “I think you should really be called Wang BuDong. [*BuDong means motionless.]”.
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Only a dead man could be completely motionless.
Although Wang Dong wasn’t a dead man, he didn’t move much more than one.
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Interesting. Keep up the great work and thanks for translating!
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Thks
Hiya gys,
Thks TigerWong for another update. :)
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If this keeps up, DaLu is even more carefree than LingHu Chong. haha. :p
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Thanks for the translation. I'm trying to look for your other translation but I can't seem to find it. Has it been delete?
I remember the last time I read it, the two girls were about to leave the house and look for a "hero". How far did you get from that point?
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It's still around. It's probably been so long that you need to adjust your settings to see older posts. I'll go bump it up. I think I got as far as Chapter 4.
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Before reaching the critical point, he will not move.
When he doesn’t want to move, nobody can make him move.
If a pitcher fell in front of someone’s face, everyone would reach out to grab it, but Wang Dong would still not move. If a precious treasure suddenly fell from the sky, no matter who they are they would pick it up, but Wang Dong would still not move. Even if the world’s most beautiful woman stripped naked and sat on his lap, he still wouldn’t move.
But there were times when he did move, in fact when he did it was a startling thing. One time he flipped 382 somersaults nonstop just to permit a little child whose mother recently died to smile a bit.
One time he traveled 1450 li for over 2 days and 2 nights just to see an old friend for the last time.
His friend had already died earlier.
One time in the space of 3 days and 3 nights, he fought with 274 men, killing 103 of them because they were bandits who killed Zhao family village’s Old Man Zhao and kidnapped his three daughters.
He didn’t even know Old Man Zhao or his three daughters.
If someone bullied him, or even spat in his face, he would still not move. If you said he was strange, well, he really was a little strange.
If you said he was lazy, he was surprisingly lazy, ridiculously lazy.
And now, he unexpectedly became friends with Guo DaLu. Putting two characters like them together, if they weren’t poor who would be poor?
Although they were poor, they were still happy.
Because they have never wronged another person, and never wronged themselves.
Because they did not resent the Heavens, nor make grief for others. No matter how many hardships they encountered, no matter how many setbacks, it would never get their spirits down. They do not fear experiencing difficulties, but rather, they understood the exhileration of overcoming them.
Even if they failed, they would not be discouraged much less lose heart.
Because they understood how valuable life was, and also understood how to enjoy it.
Therefore their lives will always be colorful. They did many things that were unexpected, maybe you might think the things they did were very stupid or very funny.
But you can’t deny that the things they did were things that nobody else could do.
Not even you. Therefore I believe you will certainly enjoy listening to their story.
End of Prologue I
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Haha. What an odd pairing. Can't wait to see what happen in their adveture.
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Yup, I certainly enjoy listening to their story, hehe.
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their lifestyles sound like something that most people want to do but never can. :D
GL's stories sometimes have really good insight on human beings.
More, TigerWong, Please. :hatoff:
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OMG... This hero is so funny. I am starting to like it more and more. Update soon TigerWong.
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For someone so lazy, it is indeed hard to imagine that Wang Dong even knows kungfu. ;)
I guess, i will believe it when he shows off his stuff later on the story.
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Prologue II - Yan Qi and Ma Yi
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With two people like Guo DaLu and Wang Dong, their deeds should already be enough to hold people’s interest for a long time, how can one also add in Yan Qi?
Yan Qi’s deeds alone are already more colorful than 300 other men combined, how can one also add in Guo DaLu? Also add in Wang Dong?
But Old Man Heaven still insisted that the three of them get together. How will this ever do?
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Guo DaLu and Wang Dong weren’t poor every day. There were times when they had money, but nobody knows when these moments occured, nor did they know where their money came from.
Even they didn’t know.
Their money always came unexpectedly, even they were a little mystified.
Perhaps this was because the way they spent money was the same.
Autumn was fast approaching, the trees in the courtyard behind Wealthy Manor suddenly contained large and sweet pears that could be plucked down and fill several baskets, which could be sold for twenty to thirty liang.
As soon as the pears had started ripening, people would come and inquire about the price, and even picked the fruits themselves. [*I thought their manor was in “No-Man’s Land”, ah well, best not to think too much when it comes to GL stories...] From start to finish, they didn’t need to spend any effort nor help anyone out.
It was just as if this money fell from the skies, so of course one had to go celebrate.
In order to celebrate, you can’t do without wine. If you have wine, you also can’t do without meat.
“Comes into favor, gamble it all away, left with nothing”, only “eating” is the most rewarding, this was Wong Dang’s rule to live by and also his greatest enjoyment.
In the beginning, he would eat lying down. After eating until he was happy, he would sit up. But when he got tired again, he would lie back down and continue eating.
Therefore his bed was simply greasier than a kitchen table, no matter which area you touched with your hand, you would brush up against one or two pieces of leftover meat, three or four unfinished pieces of bone.
Although Guo DaLu was never one to be too picky about cleanliness, he would rather sleep on the floor, than dare to lie on this bed.
Wang Dong was happy his belly could enjoy this bed, this bed was not only a place for him to sleep, it was also his living room, his garden, and his dining table.
The strangest thing was, he could lie on this bed and drink wine. First he faced the wine jug towards his lips, and then “GULP, GULP” he drank it down, not spilling a single drop of wine.
Guo DaLu admired this very much and also wanted to learn it himself, but he had some doubts and couldn’t help but ask: “You can still drink wine while lying down?”.
Wang Dong said: “Of course you can drink it.”.
Guo DaLu said: “Wouldn’t it spill out your nose?”.
Wang Dong: “Of course not, even if I drank hanging upside down it still wouldn’t come out the nose.”.
Guo DaLu: “How do you know?”.
Wang Dong: “I’ve tried it.”.
Guo DaLu laughed: “You’re too lazy to even sit up, how did you manage to dangle yourself?”.
Wang Dong: “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you try it yourself?”.
So Guo DaLu got himself upside down, and then brought the wine jug up to his lips slowly drinking it gulp by gulp. By the second mouthful, wine started to spurt out his nose.
It was at this time, that he saw Yan Qi -- well, the first thing he saw was Yan Qi’s legs.
Yan Qi’s legs wasn’t much different than anyone else’s, but the boots he wore were very special indeed.
His boots were made of leather, the craftsmanship superb. There was a flower pattern on top, and it could compare with any boots that a prince might wear.
This wasn’t anything strange.
The strange part was, these boots had everything except the soles.
The clothes he wore were originally very fine and well suited, but now it was ripped to shreds, there wasn’t a single area that was neat.
Only the hat he wore on his head, can still be seen as attractive.
His person was not very tall, but his arms and legs were long.
His face was very refined, almost like a young woman’s. Large eyes, a small mouth. When smiling two dimples can be seen, but when not smiling his face would become very cold, turning a bit pale-green, causing others to feel somewhat afraid of approaching him.
His clothes seemed like it used to be a light green color, but now there were traces of red and yellow.
The yellow was obviously from the dirt, but what was the red?
Could it be blood?
Two people happily drinking wine at home and suddenly seeing someone like this charge in would be startled no matter who they were.
But as for Guo DaLo and Wang Dong, one was still sprawled, the other still hanging. It’s as if they haven’t even noticed this person.
If you entered a room, and saw someone lying on a bed drinking wine, and another hanging upside down drinking wine, I’m afraid you’d think you just entered a mental institute; even if you didn’t run away in fright, you’d start getting goosebumps.
But this person didn’t seem to find it scary at all, as if drinking wine hanging upside down was a very normal affair and doing it sitting down should be the strange thing.
This person was Yan Qi.
Guo DaLo’s legs were hanging on a crossbeam.
Yan Qi suddenly flipped a somersault, and hung two legs on top of the crossbeam, his face turned towards Guo DaLo’s face as if he was going to say something.
But he didn’t say a single word.
Guo DaLo began to think that this person was interesting, and suddenly squinted his eyes and made an ugly face.
Yan Qi also squinted his eyes, and made an ugly face.
Guo DaLo said: “How are you?”.
Yan Qi said: “Good.”.
Guo DaLo shifted his eyes and said: “Want some wine?”.
Yan Qi: “Good.”.
Guo DaLo immediately passed the wine jug over, he purposely wanted to see what it would look like to have wine going into his nose.
Who knew that this person’s skill was much better than his, “GULP, GULP”, with one swallow he drank down more than half the wine in the jug, and not a single drop leaked out.
Guo DaLo watched until his eyes widened: “You drank wine like this before?”.
Yan Qi: “A few times.”.
He suddenly laughed and continued: “I wanted to try and see if it was possible to drink wine like this.”.
If a person has tried to do something like this, there must be very few things he hasn’t done.
Guo DaLo suddenly laughed: “What else have you tried to do?”.
Yan Qi said: “Anything that you can speak of, I have pretty much tried already.”.
Guo DaLo smiled: “There can’t be many other things in this world as hard to take as drinking wine upside down, is there?”.
Yan Qi: “Theres still are a few.”.
Guo DaLo: “Still? Then what would be the most uncomfortable thing there is?”.
Yan Qi: “The most uncomfortable thing is letting yourself be nailed inside a coffin, and buried underground.”.
Guo DaLo stared even harder: “You’ve tried doing this before?”.
Yan Qi: “I haven’t tried this very often, maybe around two times.”.
Guo DaLo suddenly somersaulted down and stared at him.
Yan Qi’s face didn’t show any reaction.
After a long time, Guo DaLo sighed and said: “If you’re not the King of Boastfulness, then you must be a weirdo.”.
Wang Dong suddenly said: “He is a weirdo.”.
Yan Qi laughed: “Touche, touche.”.
Guo DaLo clapped his hand and laughed heartily: “That’s right, that’s right. Everyone here is a weirdo, otherwise we also could not arrive here.”.
He continued: “The first time I showed up here, was to be a robber. What about you?”.
Yan Qi said: “I don’t want to become a robber, because I’m already a robber.”.
Guo DaLo looked him up and down a few times, and abruptly laughed: “A robber that looks like you, must be a stupid robber.”.
Yan Qi: “Not stupid, just ran into some bad luck.”.
Guo DaLo: “Ran into some bad luck?”.
Yan Qi sighed: “If not for running into bad luck, why would I rush to this place?”.
Guo DaLo: “That’s right, what did you originally come to do here?”.
Yan Qi: “I don’t want to do anything, just wanted to find a place to hide out.”.
Guo DaLo: “Why do you need to hide?”.
Yan Qi: “Because once again theres somebody who wants to nail me inside a coffin and bury me underground.”.
Guo DaLo: “Who is it this time?”.
Yan Qi: “Ma Yi [*The Ant].”.
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Ah, so it's not a dual but a 3-man show. You're pretty far along right, is this a funny story? So far, it appears to be very amusing. :D
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Far along? This is Prologue 2. :) Theres still one more prologue before the real story starts.
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Thks
Hiya gys,
Thx TigerWong for another update. :)
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Been comparing the amusing scenes here and the encounters between Linghu Chong and TianBoGuang. Hopefully these three can surpass Linghu and Company, since the latter force me to laugh my butt off :p
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Always a pleasure to read amusing and humorous stories! Continue the good work. :D