Good post, Laviathan!
Here's my take on some of the points brought up.
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Modern research says that most of the values that a child would carry for the rest of his life would have already been formed by the time the child is 5 years old. This would be 6 years old according to the Chinese method of age-calculation, the age which Guo Jing appears as an active personage in LOCH. Between his birth and the lengthy encounter with Temujin, Zhebie and the other Mongolians, the only significant person in his life was his mother, Li Ping. In fact, the novel (Chap 3, 2nd ed, 1995) described the mother-and-child pair as depending on each other for survival. Thus, I would say that Li Ping played a tremendous role in determining many of the values that Guo Jing would carry into adulthood.
Determined to survive and seek revenge
Li Ping was an illiterate village woman, born into a poor family of farmers in rural Lin-an. Her husband, Guo Xiaotian, was a descendent of Leader Guo Cheng of Mount Liang, a member of the well-known Outlaws of the Marsh. Guo Xiaotian was a patriotic man and the sworn brother of Yang Tiexin, the great-grandson of famed Song Dynasty general, Yang Zaixing (Chap 1, 3 and 4). Hence, it was only expected and natural that the patriotism shown by the two men rubbed off on Li Ping, who found pride in her husband's heritage. Her only regret was her inability to speak and pass on the Shandong dialect of Guo Xiaotian to Guo Jing (Chap 3).
After her capture, Li Ping scolded and cursed Duan Tiande all day, and looked for an opportunity to kill him in revenge. She was so ferocious in her first attempt to stab him that he became quite shaken. Later, when both Li Ping and Duan Tiande were drafted by Jin soldiers as porters, Li Ping endured the heavy workload so that she could kill her husband's murderer with her own hands (Chap 3). This showed how determined she was in getting rid of Duan Tiande.
With the birth of Guo Jing and the emergence of a measure of stability in their lives, Li Ping did not forget her anger against and hatred for Duan Tiande. She knew that the possibility of returning to China alive was quite slim, yet she wanted to ensure that someone remembered the wickedness of Duan Tiande. This responsibility fell on Guo Jing, who was all she had. So she repeatedly spoke Duan Tiande's name and described his appearance to little Guo Jing (Chap 4), so much so that a strong, ugly and hateful image of the man was indelibly etched in Guo Jing's mind. Consequently, it was not difficult for Guo Jing to treat to Duan Tiande without mercy, viz:
Guo Jing calmly looked at Duan Tiande from head to toe, and back again. After a while, Guo Jing prepared an altar for his father. It scared the living daylights out of Duan Tiande… and he wetted his own pants. Guo Jing then asked: "Do you want to die a quick death, or would you like to be tortured first?"
After all, Duan Tiande played a significant role in Guo Xiaotian's death, Li Ping's involuntary exile to the far north, and Guo Jing's lack of a father figure early on in life.
Proven true by experience
Guo Jing's deep hatred for the Jin could be explained in the same way. As a child, he grew up hearing a lot from his mother about the brutality of the Jin --- how they raped and plundered China, killed the common people, engaged in espionage and treachery, caused the death of Yue Fei, etc. Li Ping had seen and experienced the wickedness of the Jin, but Guo Jing had not ... until Wanyan Hongxi visited the Mongolian encampment (Chap 3). Although Wanyan Hongxi was not being brutal or ruthless to the children, his rude behaviour seemed significant enough in the eyes of little Guo Jing to somehow confirm what Li Ping had been telling him all this while about the Jin. There is a lot of power in the words of a significant parent or caregiver, especially when there is no one else to say anything different (this is what we call "consistency" in caregiving), but when these words are "proven true" through a real-life experience, their power simply multiples.
Inculcating good character
Like most mothers (as well as fathers and parents), Li Ping wanted Guo Jing to grow up with good personal character. So she probably spent a lot of time inculcating her son with the values she wanted him to have. Being illiterate, she would not have read the Four Books and the Five Classics [四书五经]*. Instead, she would have taught him whatever she grew up with, which was highly likely to be basic Confucian ethics that were passed down orally, plus some of the basic principles of patriotism and chivalry that she picked up from her husband and Yang Tiexin. There was no mention of Confucius in both LOCH and ROCH, but basic Confucian ethics were the over-riding moral and/or character teachings at that time, and remain so until today. The results of Li Ping's nurturing were eventually seen in young Guo Jing's interaction with Zhebie and the Jiangnan Seven, viz:
Chap 3:
Guo Jing to Zhebie: "Mother says I have to entertain our guests, but I cannot accept any gifts from them."
Chap 4:
Guo Jing to Zhu Cong: "Mother says I should not fight with others. Once I learn how to fight, Mother will be unhappy."
Despite how Laviathan sees Guo Jing's second statement quoted above, it is actually not unnatural for Guo Jing to respond to the Jiangnan Seven's offer in this manner. Young children learn about themselves through their relationships with others. The ideas of themselves are very much influenced by other people's ideas about them. Guo Jing spent the first 6 years of his life hearing about himself from his mother's point of view. Besides being called "stupid" periodically, he also heard a lot about being nice, polite and likeable, not fighting with others, etc, etc. Being a little slow in learning, he seemed to "rely" (for the lack of a better word) more on his mother's words to describe himself and/or his actions during that period of time. This was probably why he began each statement with "Mother says..." Moments later, however, he decided (with some assistance in reasoning from the Jiangnan Seven) that learning to fight was acceptable, because it would enable him to kill Duan Tiande and avenge his father --- the sole purpose of his life up until then.
Besides drumming good values into Guo Jing's little head, Li Ping also reinforced positive behaviours with praise. When she heard how steadfast and chivalrous her son was in helping Zhebie, she said, "Good child! This is how you should be as a person." (Chap 3). Such reinforcement deepens the hold of the praised value that in the child's life. The Jiangnan Seven built upon the character foundation that Li Ping had laid in Guo Jing's life ... and eventually produced a man who could more or less conform to the general Confucian ideals of that era.
Never forgetting one's roots
Guo Jing lived for about 12 years in the Mongolian encampment of Temujin before leaving for China. During this period, he integrated quite well into the Mongolian culture and lifestyle, but in his heart, he remained a Han-Chinese, a citizen of the Song government. Li Ping did not allow him to forget that, and neither did the Jiangnan Seven. This was particularly clear towards the end of LOCH when Temujin ordered Guo Jing to begin a southern conquest after his successful military campaign in the west, viz:
Chap 38 (LP=Li Ping, GJ=Guo Jing):
LP: The Taoist Qiu named you 'Guo Jing', and the son of your Uncle Yang 'Yang Kang'. Do you know why?
GJ: The Taoist Qiu did not want us to forget the Shame of Jing-Kang.
LP: Yes. The son of the Yang Family acknowledged a thief as his father and ended up in shame and ruin, so we will not talk about that. Yet it is a pity that an outstanding man like your Uncle Yang would have offspring that dishonoured his heroic name. I remember the shame I endured years ago, bringing you up in this bitter and cold wasteland of the north. Why? Was it to bring up a treacherous man who betrayed his country? A man who would bring pain to the heart of his late father? A man's life is but a hundred years. Even then, it passes with the blink of an eye. So how significant is living or dying? So long as our lives are spent doing things that do not burden our hearts with guilt, we would not have lived in vain. Remember these words!
Thus, despite his integration into the Mongolian way of life, Guo Jing did not succeed in becoming totally Mongolian, because the outward manisfestations did not affect his inner man. For Xiao Feng, things were a bit different. There was an agreement between his rescuers (Shaolin) and his caregivers (Mr and Mrs Qiao) that his true identity and ethnicity were to be kept secret from him. After spending his childhood in a totally Han environment, he went on to learn martial arts and serve his community/country in totally Han environments as well. The only clue he had (before that letter about him was read publicly) was the tattoo on his chest. Then again, how clear could a tattoo on an infant's chest be when that chest is grown to its full adult size? (Sorry, OT....
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Conforming to society
After leaving Mongolia, Guo Jing continued to have an emotional tie with the land that he grew up in, but the tie eventually faded with the death of Temujin. At the same time, Guo Jing became increasingly conformed to the norms of the Song society, for after all, these were the Confucian morals and ideals that Li Ping drummed into him as a child.
By the time Yang Guo made his announcement to marry Xiaolongnu, Guo Jing was already middle-aged and highly-respected as a patriot. People looked up to him and held him up as a role model. Nationalistic fervour ran high, and anything that was "hu" (foreign) was deeply frowned upon. Guo Jing might have grown up in the relative simplicity of Mongolian society, but he had also spent an equal (if not longer) number of years as an adult in the more complex and ordered society of the Han-Chinese. In asking "Who am I?" at the end of LOCH, he might have made an implicit choice to become the Confucian hero that his parents would have wanted (and Jin Yong would have needed), so that was what we eventually saw in ROCH.
His outrage at Yang Guo's announcement could have stemmed from his anger at himself. He was trusting, forgiving and soft-hearted towards Yang Kang all those years ago, enabling Yang Kang to get way with a lot of things that ultimately brought shame to the Yang and Guo Families as well as the heroism and patriotism that they stood for. Since he "failed" once to rein Yang Kang in, he could not allow himself to let Yang Guo to do such a "despicable" thing. So, he declared that he would rather kill Yang Guo with his own hands. Such "killing for the sake of family honour" is quite consistent with many Asian cultures, and still occurs for example among tribes in Pakistan, India and the Middle-East.
That said, I would say that Guo Jing's level of conformity is very very high, quite a feat actually, considering his 12 childhood years in the Mongolian encampment and his 16 adult years of voluntary exile on Peach Blossom Island.
Thinking aloud
When his teachers were found dead on Blossom Island, Guo Jing started talking to himself: "I will not kill Rong'er... I will not kill Rong'er..."
I would consider this as a kind of "processing" that Guo Jing went through as he struggled to deal with the shock of having his teachers found dead on Huang Rong's island home. Children as young as 2 years old have been observed to "think aloud", i.e. to talk through their problems while their brains are processing it. These children are not talking to anyone in particular. Instead, their speech serves to direct and monitor their thoughts as they work towards a solution. This kind of speech is sometimes called "inner speech" or "egocentric speech", depending on whose definition is followed.
Guo Jing was certainly shocked --- terribly shocked --- when he found his teachers dead. The fact that the deaths occurred on Peach Blossom Island made things a lot more difficult to stomach. He had to find a way to manage the trauma that was going through his system, and he chose to give voice to his thoughts. That is why we get to hear stuff like "I will not kill Rong'er... I will not kill Rong'er..." His mind and emotions reacted (both rightly and wrongly) with things that he probably never thought would be possible, so as each notion surfaced, he spoke his solution out aloud.
Long-winded, huh? Sorry...
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*The Four Books are the Great Learning [大学], the Doctrine of the Mean [中庸], the Analects of Confucius [论语] and the Mencius [孟子]. The Five Classics are the Book of Songs [诗经], the Book of History [书经], the Book of Changes [易经], the Book of Rites [礼记] and the Spring and Autumn Annals [春秋].