Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Your Life n My Past

  1. #1
    Member Alice725's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    90

    Default Your Life n My Past

    my first time fanfic i post here in the forum, plx tell me if it's good. thanks.

    prologue:

    There was once a girl who made a mistake and had to live her life in despair.

    She have always believed that life and love are beautiful memories made by

    heave as gifts to her.

    Indeed, her mind is very romantic.

    However, when a boy changed her life, she soon forget how to love and live again.

    She lived only for one reason and one reason only: take care of her little Choba.

    ------------

    There was a guy who never think that there is anything wrong with his life.

    He has everything that he wanted except love.

    He was always optimistic that if one tries to be happy and think every situation can

    be solved then life would be happy and fine.
    --------------

    Somehow these two different people met and never realized that they could be

    attracted to each other. Unfortunately, can the girl really forget her past and live

    the guy'slife?

    -------------------
    (foreshadowing)

    "Why out of all the beautiful girls that you have to choose a girl like me?" The girl said to the guy.

    "Then why out of all those beautiful girls out therethat I can't choose you?" The

    guy answered back.

    Both started to stare at each other..........
    I might not look smart under the eyes of a genius, but rather intelligent in front of an idiot's perspective. Then, what are you, an idiot or a genius?

  2. #2
    Member Alice725's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    90

    Default chapter 1

    Chapter 1: Morning Cries


    [Early morning]

    Leena opened the fridge to see if she could chop down anything to eat. There was only milk in the fridge so she had no choice but to drink it. Suddenly, footsteps can be heard from upstairs. A lady in her twenties went down the staircase and spoke, “Aya, Leena don’t drink milk in the morning, it’s not really good for you; your stomach is very weak.”

    “Uy Trinh ah, I am hungry so what do you expect? Hey, I have to work today so can you take care of Choba for me?” Leena asked.

    “Work again? Wait, today is Sunday though and you promised her you would take her to the zoo. Don’t lie to her.” Uy Trinh said.

    “Aish, it’s not like I have a choice...” She couldn’t finish her sentence when a cry was heard upstairs. They both ran upstairs to a room where a little girl around seven was sitting on her bed sobbing.

    “Choba, what happened?” Leena asked.

    “Mommy, mommy, mommy, Choba had a very scary dream,” the girl spoke in a weak and scared tone that tears fell down from her eyes to the sheets. Looking at Choba with large round eyes and middle-sized nose with her black straight hair hanging down from her head, anyone could sympathize with this little girl. With her tiny hands, she wiped away her tears and began to speak again.

    “Momma, Choba dreamt that momma and Uy Trinh left Choba alone in the room when Choba cried…heuk…heuk….and momma never care. Momma keep walking and walking while……heuk…heuk…….little Choba really yelled at momma to stop but momma continue to walk away…….heuk. heuk……” She can’t finish her sentence for her tears forbid her to speak any longer.

    “Aish, silly girl, how could momma really leave you alone? Who is the most important person to momma?” Leena tried to pacify Choba.

    “Choba?” she said looking straightly at Leena’s eyes and hoping that her mom would nod.

    “Yes.”

    Choba jumped onto Leena and cried, “Ah, little Choba knew that momma would never abandon me like that. Momma loves me the most right, momma?” Leena nod and stroked her hairs pitying the little girl.

    “Now now, let’s go brush your teeth and then eat breakfast.”

    “What about the zoo momma promised Choba two weeks ago?”

    Leena sighed before answering, “Yes, and that too, now let’s hurry before we are too late.”

    “Yes, momma is the best of the best.” She ran to the bathroom to finish her business there.

    Looking at Leena, Uy Trinh said, “I thought you have works to do, are you really sure this will be fine?”

    “Yeah, I promised Choba so I should keep my promise, besides Choba is more important than work.” Leena said in a very tiresome way.

    She walked outside to where the phone was and picked it up to call.

    “Hello? Johnny? I don’t think I can work today, I’m sorry. …..yes………okay, bye.”

    “So how is it?” Uy Trinh said while standing near the door to Choba’s room.

    “It’s fine.” Letting out a long sigh, she turned to look at Uy Trinh and said, “You want to go with us?”

    Beaming a smile, Uy Trinh replied, “Why not?”

    Hands over shoulder, they walk downstairs to finish eating their “milk” breakfast.
    I might not look smart under the eyes of a genius, but rather intelligent in front of an idiot's perspective. Then, what are you, an idiot or a genius?

  3. #3
    Member stephyzzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    73

    Default

    ooo not too bad for a start.

    quite Light...and Smooth...

    i kinda of like ur chapt 1 ..

    so U gonna to post More..

    I will be back...
    Catch..
    $this->handle_bbcode_url(str_replace('\"', '"', 'http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v695/Xiao_Wen/banhk/banner_s.gif'), '')

  4. #4
    Member Alice725's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    90

    Talking

    oh, heheh, thankx stephyzzz. i have 2 more chapters but didn't most yet so now i would.



    ---------


    Chapter 2: WAKE UP


    [In a different house on the world]

    A guy was lying on his bed sleeping like a pig with his legs extended and only half his body was covered with the sheets. Age around twenty-seven, he could be considered as a handsome guy despite his messy hairs, pale face, and lazy body. Nevertheless, he had a six-pack built abs that could be seen through his topless body. A crack can be heard since someone opened the door. Peeking inside was a little boy about Choba’s age staring and eyes narrowing to see the guy lying sheepishly on the bed. Walking towards the living corpse, he extended his hands and there stood a bat, a foam bat that is, and hit the poor man.

    Jumping on the bed while continued to hit the man, he yelled, “Wake-up, wake-up you lazy *** uncle. It’s morning now and even the mice would know.”

    Still the man remained silence and pulled the sheets so that the boy could fall down. Landing on his but, he stood up and pouted. “Yah, you nasty man, what time is this and you continue to sleep like that?”

    Pulling the blanket away from him the man began to speak, “What is it now, you brat, what do you want?”

    With both his hands on his hips, he yelled, “You promised me that you would take me somewhere today.”

    Confused, the man raised his eyebrow and asked, “When did I make that deadly promise? You think I want to suicide or something?”

    “Why would you want to kill yourself?” the boy questioned.

    “Okay, spending a day with you is like living in a lair full of lions. Worse than that, I died painfully with you instead of just one bite from the lion, which I would rather have than you.”

    “I still don’t get it; Jean doesn’t want to kill you. Jean just like to go play with Uncle, c’mon now, it’s not so bad to play with Jean right?”

    “No, it’s not bad at all”, the uncle said in a soothing way.

    “See, Jean is a very good boy”, he has to emphasize the good part to his uncle.

    “You are not bad at all because you are totally the worst kid that can be alive on the planet Earth.” His uncle said indignantly.

    “Fine, I won’t force uncle to do what he wished not to”, the boy said in a matter-of-factly.

    “Really, Jean, you really would let me sleep?” the man said regretfully thinking that even after speaking so meanly to his nephew, the little boy still can understand the uncle’s situation, the sleepy situation.

    “However, I cannot guarantee that your secret wouldn’t be revealed to Aunty and Uncle, which happens to be your parents, downstairs.”

    Now people might wonder how in the world that the Uncle’s parent would be Jean’s Uncle and Aunty? Well, basically since this aging couple cannot accept the fact that they are old, every little boy close to the family are required to call them simply “uncle and aunty” if they want to leave the house in one piece.

    The man smirked and said, “Chi, I don’t have any secret to began with so why should I care?”

    “Oh, if Jean isn’t mistaking, Uncle Phong once babysat me and told me that he would take care of me then suddenly a nice lady called and he left me with another lady, but somehow this lady is nicer than the first lady but yet uglier. Later that day, when Jean went missing and uncle and aunty asked us what happened, you simply just said Jean ran away. Jean didn’t say anything but if Jean now repeats that incident and oh, another one…….” Before he could finish the sentence, Uncle Phong already put his palm around Jean’s mouth. Why? Simply because ‘aunty’ intruded and suggested, “Kids, why don’t you all hurry up and get ready, it’s already eleven o’clock.”

    Staring at the two guys, one big and the other small, sitting on the bed in that stance, the stance described above, aunty could not understand and asked, “What are you two doing?”

    “Uh,…uh….hehehheheheh, nothing.” Phong nervously spoke.

    Pushing the palm away, Jean yelled “Uncle tried to kill me, he doesn’t want me to ..um…umm,” he couldn’t finish because the deadly palm was back on him again, “um um um…”

    “Hahahhah, nothing mama, I was joking around saying that if Jean doesn’t be quiet then I wouldn’t take him to the place he wants today.”

    “Really? Uncle really will take Jean out today?” Jean inquired.

    “Yes”, Phong replied hesitantly with a fake smile “I will and you will definitely like it.”

    About half an hour of get ready and cleaning up, a man finally walked downstairs with golden fire bursting from his veins because he seemed to be so proud of his looks.

    “Gosh, you look so retarded in that outfit”, his mother spoke. Indeed, the outfit is quite gay for a guy for the shirt is too shiny and the pant too long, but nonetheless, when this guy dressed in it, it seems to be the best looking one yet.

    “Mama, everyone said it looks good on me except you, you are too stingy.” Phong replied.

    “Whatever, eat your lunch….wait…….it should be breakfast for a pig right now, I think.”

    “Mom!”

    “Aish, you two never stop complaining, just eat the food, breakfast or lunch, it’s still just food.” This came from the one and only man of the house, the father, who indeed only cared about his newspaper article about business and fame.

    “You and your newspaper probably wouldn’t need any food to be full.” The mom madly answered back.

    “Whatever you say, you are always right anyway”, he said then whispered, “if I want to be alive in this house, I better be quiet.”

    “I can hear you, you know.”

    Shaking her head, the women said, “Now, where are you going?” The question was toward the two big and little boys eating like a pig over the table.

    “The zoo.” Jean simply stated.

    “What?” Phong yelled out in shocked, “Why that?”

    “Just because you simply promised and I want to, that’s all, no questions ask.”

    “Chi, what if I don’t want to?” Phong smirked at Jean

    “Aunty Kim, remember last time when …….”

    “Okay, the zoo you say, I will go.” Phong said in a low tone and grinned, “Just this time you little brat.”

    “What is it, Jean?” Aunty Kim said.

    “Oh, nothing, I’m just wondering if you remember that last time my mom left me here and she wanted to thank you for taking care of me.” He slyly smiled at Phong while saying that to Aunty Kim.

    “Oh, it’s nothing, you should thank Phong.” She beamed at the little innocent boy.
    “I know, uncle is just the best. Right, uncle?”

    Phong stuffed the bread in Jean’s mouth to prevent him from saying anything further that could provoke him.

    --------------
    how is it? c/m?
    I might not look smart under the eyes of a genius, but rather intelligent in front of an idiot's perspective. Then, what are you, an idiot or a genius?

  5. #5
    Member Alice725's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    90

    Default

    Chapter 3: Coincidence at the Zoo

    “Mommy, mommy, look over there!” Choba said while looking at the little monkey and her mother chewing on the piece of wood.

    “Hey, why don’t we take some pictures?” Uy Trinh suggested.

    “Yeah!” Leena agreed.

    They took a few pictures of Choba, Choba and her mom, and the three of them all together with little Choba in the middle. After that, they left to a different place looking at the pigs. Just then, Phong and his nephew came to the same place that Choba and her mother left.

    “Asih look uncle, isn’t that cute?” Jean asked Phong with his finger pointed at the monkeys.

    “Yeah, yeah, whatever”, annoyed, his uncle answered.

    “Then let’s go see some other animals here, I don’t really like the monkeys anyway.” Jean tried to live up the atmosphere between his uncle and he for it’s not too easy to hang out with his uncle often. Phong has a habit of liking girls, now if that could be a habit then any other guys in the world would use the excuse. Mainly, Jean knew that his uncle really wanted to find true love. All the girls that Phong met, Jean knew that they are useful two-face women who only sought for money. After all, Phong’s family owned a jewelry shop and has had good connections with the owner of many big companies. Phong, as a second child in the family, really wanted to feel true love and being love. However, not every woman that he met could give him what he desired. That was the reason why Jean had insisted to go to the zoo today. He had a plan altogether and was just waiting for the right opportunity.

    Back to Choba and the gang, they were looking at the pigs and Uy Trinh whispered to Leena, “Hey, there are no hot guys here at all.”

    With her mouth dropped, she looked up and answered, “How could you possibly think that there would be any hot guys here? Look around you, most of the people are married. Besides, what hot guys would travel here without a kid? You know, usually only kids like this place.”

    “That’s not really true you know, maybe there could be a handsome guy who is love sick and are currently searching for a girl to love.”

    “You and your imagination can go while for I care because you are always the same. Just remember, not all guys can be trusted. I don’t want the same thing happened to me happens to you.”

    “I know what you mean”, looking sullen Uy Trinh mumbled but then again she lightened the environment, “ah, c’mon, it’s not a big deal and you know me, I’m not always serious into stuff.

    “But……..” Leena tried to convince Uy Trinh.

    “Trust me.”

    “Okay.”

    About fifteen minutes of waiting for Uy Trinh searching for “hot” guys, Leena and Choba continued to look at animals and took pictures. They ran to and fro, from different parts of the zoo looking at pigs, bear, and all different animals. (a/n: I’m not good with animals’ names. Lol.) About the next fifteen minutes later, Uy Trinh came back panting and holding her chest to easily access the air in and out.

    “Huh, huh, huh, you know how, huh huh, long I spent looking, huh huh, for you.” She tried desperately to talk to them through her short breaths.

    Leena smirked, “Chi, I thought you were busy searching for hot guys,” Leena said sarcastically.

    Choba interrupted, “Hot guys? How could aunty find any guys on fire?”

    “No, not guys on fire, just guys that could create fire” Uy Trinh played with the little girl’s innocent mind.

    “Wow, guys that could create fire?” Choba said in awe.

    “Yeah”, Uy Trinh continued to joke around and both she and Leena laughed.

    “Choba wants to see right now, can aunty show me?”

    “I’m sorry Choba, but the guys on fire are gone, too bad isn’t it?” Uy Trinh said in a sorry tone.

    “Okay, okay, stop messing with her Uy Trinh,” Leena then looked over to Choba, “Let’s go eat, I’m hungry and it’s late. Why don’t we?”

    “Yeah”, both Uy Trinh and Choba yelled together.

    While walking towards the gate, Uy Trinh whispered to Leena’s ear, “You want to know what happened while I was gone?”

    Suspicious, Leena asked, “What?”

    Smiling, she answered, “I met a hot guy but something happened.”

    With her eyebrow up, she motion Uy Trinh to continue.

    “Heheheheh, that guy flirt with me, I know I know, you might think that I hinted him to do it but I didn’t. You see, the bastard already has a wife and when his wife came, I knew it. So…….hehehheeheheh…….I just continue the tricks, you know what I mean?”

    “Well, you hang onto the guy and when his wife came, she got closer and she got jealous, thus the guy will get in trouble, big trouble, I might have to say. I still don’t get it, why did you do that?”

    “The bastard deserved it; if he already has a wife then he shouldn’t flirt with me.” Uy Trinh said in a serious tone.

    The silence between them was broken when Choba yelled, “Mommy, aunty, LET’S GO, I’m very hungry.”

    Turned to her Leena said, “I will be right there.” Then she ran to Choba who was at the gate. Uy Trinh followed behind in deep thoughts.

    When she reached Choba, Uy Trinh asked, “Choba, why is it that you wanted to go here so much? I thought you like to go DisneyLand more?”

    “Oh that, well, a boy at my school said that he will meet me here at the zoo but I wonder where he is. Since he is not here and Choba is hungry, I just think that maybe he forgot.”

    While Leena stood there confused at the two talking, Uy Trinh continued to ask, “So who is this boy of yours?”

    Choba opened her mouth to answer but just then he saw that little boy holding hand with a tall guy. She pointed to the direction and said, “There he is, that boy over there, he is my friend, his name is Jean.”


    --------

    comment?
    I might not look smart under the eyes of a genius, but rather intelligent in front of an idiot's perspective. Then, what are you, an idiot or a genius?

Similar Threads

  1. Way of Life in the Wuxia World vs. Modern Life
    By Peachblossom in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 56
    Last Post: 08-31-15, 02:43 AM
  2. Shadows of The Past
    By babiadorkable in forum Fan Fictions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-10-07, 10:16 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •