Chapter 1
At a hospital, Julian squatted down to get an orange soda from the venting machine. With a big friendly grin, he turned to face a six years old boy named Jacky. The boy looked at him with a sad little pout. Julian popped the soda can open and hand it to him. Silently, Jacky took the soda and walked away heading toward the waiting bench. As he sits on one of the bright orange chairs aligned on a bench, Jacky took small sip of his orange soda, while swinging his dangling legs back and forth.
Julian walked up to take the seat beside him. Softly cleared his throat to get rid of his nervousness, Julian gently asked, “Jacky, would you like to have me as your daddy?”
Stopped swinging his legs, Jacky glanced up to meet Julian’s eyes. He dropped his head and slightly shook it with a bit of uncertainty. The small gesture made Julian frowned with unease. Jacky sighed and begin to speak up, “Mommy told me last week that you wanted to marry her and live with us. Mommy asked me the same question that night. I asked her if you’re my real daddy, she said no, but you’ll be a good one.”
Paused, Jacky looked up at Julian seriously and nervously said, “I had only seen you three times. The first time was last week at the airport when mommy returns from school. Then it was three days ago when mommy invited you over for dinner. Today is the third time. I don’t really know you...” Dropped his head, Jacky whispered, “I wish Uncle Louis is my daddy. I like living with him while mommy is away. But he is already married to Aunty Jess. How come he can’t have more than one wife, when Seeu Bo can have seven wives?” Seeu Bo is a character in an ancient series on TV that Jessica had been watching each night during evening.
Arched his brows confusedly to what Jacky is mumbling about, Julian assured, “Well, your mommy is right, I’ll try to be the best daddy to you. After I married your mommy, we’ll be living together and get to know each other every single day.” Sighed not knowing how to persuade a child, Julian cleared his throat, while telling himself to just say what’s in his heart. Looked straight into Jacky’s eyes and sincerely, Julian told him, “Jacky, I had known your mommy for almost four years now, ever since she went to Boston for schooling. We had dated for two years and many things had happened during those four years. I could tell you one thing for sure is that I really really love your mommy. I know she really really love you. During those four years of schooling, each time she flew back to visit you, she had so many stories about you to tell me. I wish I could have pulled times away from my work at that time to return with her, so that today wouldn’t be the third time we see each other. I hope you could give me a second chance to get to know you better and to love you as much as she does.”
Slumps his shoulders and with a little pout, Jacky replied, “I had always wished for my real daddy to be my daddy, but Uncle Louis told me that my real daddy had made mommy really unhappy and that he left us when I’m not even out of mommy’s tummy. Uncle Louis said that for my wish to come true, mommy will be really sad. I don’t want mommy to be sad. And I do really want to have a daddy too, since everyone but me has their own daddy. Aunty Jess said that after mommy and you get married, I will have a daddy’s last name, rather than having mommy’s last name, then I won’t get tease by other kids again.” Jacky slowly lifted his head up to look straight into Julian eyes and asked, “Is that true?”
With a bright relieved smile, Julian nodded and assured, “Yes, of course.”
“Will you be able to make mommy not sad?” asked Jacky seriously. Julian nodded with great certainty. “What is your last name?” curiously asked Jacky with worried uneven eyebrows.
Chuckling, Julian answered, “Cheung.”
“Cheung?” asked Jacky with arched brows. After a few second of thought, his eyes brightened with a twinkle and excitedly exclaimed, “Wouldn’t that make me Jacky Cheung, mommy’s favorite singer?” Jacky chuckled with hands covering his mouth when he saw a nurse looking toward his way.
Laughed, Julian patted his head and asked, “So I could be your daddy after next Friday?”
Looked at Julian seriously, Jacky slowly smiled and nodded. “Many of my friends’ daddy took them to the park to kick ball, will you do the same?” wishfully asked Jacky.
“If you wanted to,” smiled Julian.
Hearing the door to the doctor’s office opened, Jacky quickly gave his full attention toward it. His smiled fully widen to see his mommy finally came out. Quickly while holding his soda, Jacky hopped off his seat and ran toward his mom, Annie. “Mommy! New daddy said he’ll take me to the park to kick ball, can we go now?” excitedly asked Jacky as he ran.
“Be careful, you’re spilling soda,” warned Annie as she squatted down to stop her son from colliding into her.
“Mommy, I’ll be Jacky Cheung after next Friday, isn’t that funny?” chuckled the young boy. Nodding, Annie gently places her two palms on her son’s rosy cheeks.
Chuckling in a foolish manner, Julian squatted down beside Annie to give her a peck on the cheek. “Done with getting your premarital physical exam’s report, Mrs. Cheung?” Soundlessly, Annie turned to look at him and gave a small nod. “Shall we take our superstar to the park?” Julian asked in a teasing tone. Once again, Annie nodded in silent. Seeing her unusually quiet, Julian reached for her hand. He caringly asked, “Your hand felt so cold. Is something wrong? You know you can tell me, right?”
Swiftly slipped her hand away, Annie stood up and lifted Jacky up, carrying him on her left hip. “I’ll need to talk to you, but let go to the park first,” sadly said Annie.
Nodding with concern after hearing Annie’s voice, Julian agreed knowing she probably don’t want Jacky to be around for their talk. He looked at Jacky and asked, “You want a piggyback ride?” Smiled, Jacky turned to look at his mommy for an answer. After Annie had nodded to him, Jacky turned to Julian and repeatedly nodded to his offer.
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At the park, Annie sat on a wooden bench watching Julian chasing after her laughing son, whom wouldn’t play by himself; therefore she still hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Julian alone. Watching a perfect future and family being so close within reach, a drop of tear slip off the corner of her eyes and tumbled down her dry cheek. The words of her doctor kept replaying over and over in her head telling her that she had cancer. That the pain over the year that she once believes was arthritis from her childhood injury to her back and had always taken it lightly was actually bone cancer. That not only does she have cancer of the bone, but that it is located on her spine, an area that can’t be amputated to solve the problem. That her expected time left depends on the ticking clock in her body to when her cancer will spread to other organ. That when it does, the most she could have is one year with continue therapy or less than three months without. And that the perfect future and family in front of her is actually no where close within reach.
Annie forced a smile and waved back to her son when he hollered for her attention. She let out a soft chuckle to see her fiancée trip over a tree root during his chase after her son. Another drop of her tear slipped out from the realm of her eye. She swiftly wipes it away as she continues to watch every move of her son. Tears quickly watered her vision as she realize how many chances she had missed out on watching her son grow up during the majority of the four years that she had went to get her college degree.
Drying her tears and sniffing hard to hold them in, Annie silently remembers her past. She remembered that when she found out she was pregnant with Jacky she was only nineteen and not yet married. She remembered how foolish she was back then to believe that her boyfriend would be excited about the news and that they would happily get married right away. She remembered the hard lesson she had learn when he left her for good without leaving a word. He had left her with nothing but a son that had asked her multiple times who his father is.
After Jacky’s father left them, Annie didn’t have high hope for future relationship. She lost her sense of trust to love again. It was a big accomplishment between Julian and her to start a new trusted relationship. She couldn’t believe that she was able to find someone who is willing to love her son as much as loving her. Now that she finally found this special half, she can’t understand why heaven had to condemn her life once again.
Exhausted from running and also wanting a chance to talk to Annie, Julian persuaded Jacky into playing with other kids at the park. Once Annie realizes Julian is heading toward her, she quickly dried all of her tears and won’t allow her eyes to wet. Laughing softly, Julian exhaustedly exclaimed, “I had never know being a daddy require this much energy.” His voice trailed off when he realizes Annie slowly turned away avoiding his eyes contact. Squatted down in front of her, Julian caringly reached out to hold her hands. Annie turned away so she is not facing him directly. She fears that he could see through her. “I’m all yours now. You could tell me whatever that’s bothering you,” declared Julian patiently.
Sniffing and pressing her lips tightly seal, Annie finally couldn’t hold it in any longer. Not wanting to let him see her redden eyes, she swiftly leaned toward him to tightly wrap her arms around his neck and rested her head against his. Her muted cry begins to become audible.
Seeing Annie acting this unusual made Julian felt fear. He could sense something really awful had happened. Arched his brows with worry not really knowing how to comfort her, he begin to pat her back and gently asked, “Is it because of…”
“Don’t talk,” Annie requested in the softest whisper, which quickly silenced Julian. “Don’t say a word Julian, or I will no longer have the courage. Let me cry on you, just for a little longer?” Julian nodded to her request, while she silently cried. After a few minutes, Annie finally speaks up, “I had been trying to come up with an excuse to leave you, but I really don’t want us to end with a lie. I don’t want to lie to you, Julian.”
“You…”
“Don’t… Please let me finish first,” Annie requested. Silently, Julian nodded while his heart begins to stir with an uneasy feeling of fear to what she had to say. “I don’t want to do the same thing as what he had once done to me, by leaving you without a word. I’m sorry Julian, I can’t marry you.”
“What…”
“I wanted you to know that I love you.”
“Then why…”
Once again Annie quickly cut his questioning. She continued, “I have cancer.” Julian’s eyes widened and his angular jaw slightly dropped open to what he had just heard. He felt like his heart just stopped or jumped out of his body. Shaking his head refusing to believe his ears, he tries to remove Annie’s embrace to look her in the eyes for the answer, but Annie tightened her embrace even more not willing to face him. “Don’t…” cried Annie softly, “You’ll make me cry.”
Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, Julian hopefully whispered so weakly, “There is treatment for…”
“Yes, but the prognosis is not good. He said that my bone cancer is located on the lower portion of my spine. He can’t do anything to remove it. The best he could do is tries to contain it for as long as possible, which he hints probably not more than three years,” Annie informed.
“Bone cancer? That pain?” asked Julian in disbelieve, since he was the one that had been buying her painkiller, when she asked for it.
Annie nodded to his question. She wetted her lips and requested, “Please forgive me.” She finally releases him and quickly pulled her necklace out, which hold their wedding rings. She is trying to remove it from her neck.
Julian quickly grabs her hands and stops her from doing so. “Don’t,” he begged. In a bit of an angry tone, Julian scolded, “What does this have to do with our wedding? If you give them back to me, I will never forgive you.”
“Julian, I’m going to die…” cried Annie.
“I don’t care! I won’t forgive you, if you continue to push me away like this. Let go of it now,” he demanded in a harsh tone. Seeing her vulnerable red eyes, his voice weakened and pleaded, “Please?” He removed her hands from her necklace.
As calm as she could hold her voice, Annie whispered, “Don’t act this rashly. I know you love me.” She faintly smiled and muttered, “That is enough.” Once again she reached for her necklace to remove their rings, Julian was about to stop her again, but she shook her head and begged, “Please don’t.” Seeing her had taken her necklace off and reached for his hand, Julian quickly tighten his hand into a fist, not willing to accept them. Looked up into his eyes, Annie’s heart ached to see them red and glassy for the first time. She really doesn’t want to hurt him more by letting him watches how she slowly dies.
Dropped her head, she whispered faintly, “If you love me, then let me go.” Annie gently strokes his hand and tries to open it. Giving in, Julian loosens his fist. Lovingly, Annie opened his hand and placed her necklace along with the two attached wedding rings onto Julian’s palm. She gently closed his hand back into a fist again and bravely looked up at him one last time before she stood up and headed to get her son.
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