Terminal Stage (fanfic of Annie & Julian)

[Yak]

Chapter 1


At a hospital, Julian squatted down to get an orange soda from the venting machine. With a big friendly grin, he turned to face a six years old boy named Jacky. The boy looked at him with a sad little pout. Julian popped the soda can open and hand it to him. Silently, Jacky took the soda and walked away heading toward the waiting bench. As he sits on one of the bright orange chairs aligned on a bench, Jacky took small sip of his orange soda, while swinging his dangling legs back and forth.

Julian walked up to take the seat beside him. Softly cleared his throat to get rid of his nervousness, Julian gently asked, “Jacky, would you like to have me as your daddy?”

Stopped swinging his legs, Jacky glanced up to meet Julian’s eyes. He dropped his head and slightly shook it with a bit of uncertainty. The small gesture made Julian frowned with unease. Jacky sighed and begin to speak up, “Mommy told me last week that you wanted to marry her and live with us. Mommy asked me the same question that night. I asked her if you’re my real daddy, she said no, but you’ll be a good one.”

Paused, Jacky looked up at Julian seriously and nervously said, “I had only seen you three times. The first time was last week at the airport when mommy returns from school. Then it was three days ago when mommy invited you over for dinner. Today is the third time. I don’t really know you...” Dropped his head, Jacky whispered, “I wish Uncle Louis is my daddy. I like living with him while mommy is away. But he is already married to Aunty Jess. How come he can’t have more than one wife, when Seeu Bo can have seven wives?” Seeu Bo is a character in an ancient series on TV that Jessica had been watching each night during evening.

Arched his brows confusedly to what Jacky is mumbling about, Julian assured, “Well, your mommy is right, I’ll try to be the best daddy to you. After I married your mommy, we’ll be living together and get to know each other every single day.” Sighed not knowing how to persuade a child, Julian cleared his throat, while telling himself to just say what’s in his heart. Looked straight into Jacky’s eyes and sincerely, Julian told him, “Jacky, I had known your mommy for almost four years now, ever since she went to Boston for schooling. We had dated for two years and many things had happened during those four years. I could tell you one thing for sure is that I really really love your mommy. I know she really really love you. During those four years of schooling, each time she flew back to visit you, she had so many stories about you to tell me. I wish I could have pulled times away from my work at that time to return with her, so that today wouldn’t be the third time we see each other. I hope you could give me a second chance to get to know you better and to love you as much as she does.”

Slumps his shoulders and with a little pout, Jacky replied, “I had always wished for my real daddy to be my daddy, but Uncle Louis told me that my real daddy had made mommy really unhappy and that he left us when I’m not even out of mommy’s tummy. Uncle Louis said that for my wish to come true, mommy will be really sad. I don’t want mommy to be sad. And I do really want to have a daddy too, since everyone but me has their own daddy. Aunty Jess said that after mommy and you get married, I will have a daddy’s last name, rather than having mommy’s last name, then I won’t get tease by other kids again.” Jacky slowly lifted his head up to look straight into Julian eyes and asked, “Is that true?”

With a bright relieved smile, Julian nodded and assured, “Yes, of course.”

“Will you be able to make mommy not sad?” asked Jacky seriously. Julian nodded with great certainty. “What is your last name?” curiously asked Jacky with worried uneven eyebrows.

Chuckling, Julian answered, “Cheung.”

“Cheung?” asked Jacky with arched brows. After a few second of thought, his eyes brightened with a twinkle and excitedly exclaimed, “Wouldn’t that make me Jacky Cheung, mommy’s favorite singer?” Jacky chuckled with hands covering his mouth when he saw a nurse looking toward his way.

Laughed, Julian patted his head and asked, “So I could be your daddy after next Friday?”

Looked at Julian seriously, Jacky slowly smiled and nodded. “Many of my friends’ daddy took them to the park to kick ball, will you do the same?” wishfully asked Jacky.

“If you wanted to,” smiled Julian.

Hearing the door to the doctor’s office opened, Jacky quickly gave his full attention toward it. His smiled fully widen to see his mommy finally came out. Quickly while holding his soda, Jacky hopped off his seat and ran toward his mom, Annie. “Mommy! New daddy said he’ll take me to the park to kick ball, can we go now?” excitedly asked Jacky as he ran.

“Be careful, you’re spilling soda,” warned Annie as she squatted down to stop her son from colliding into her.

“Mommy, I’ll be Jacky Cheung after next Friday, isn’t that funny?” chuckled the young boy. Nodding, Annie gently places her two palms on her son’s rosy cheeks.

Chuckling in a foolish manner, Julian squatted down beside Annie to give her a peck on the cheek. “Done with getting your premarital physical exam’s report, Mrs. Cheung?” Soundlessly, Annie turned to look at him and gave a small nod. “Shall we take our superstar to the park?” Julian asked in a teasing tone. Once again, Annie nodded in silent. Seeing her unusually quiet, Julian reached for her hand. He caringly asked, “Your hand felt so cold. Is something wrong? You know you can tell me, right?”

Swiftly slipped her hand away, Annie stood up and lifted Jacky up, carrying him on her left hip. “I’ll need to talk to you, but let go to the park first,” sadly said Annie.

Nodding with concern after hearing Annie’s voice, Julian agreed knowing she probably don’t want Jacky to be around for their talk. He looked at Jacky and asked, “You want a piggyback ride?” Smiled, Jacky turned to look at his mommy for an answer. After Annie had nodded to him, Jacky turned to Julian and repeatedly nodded to his offer.
……………….

At the park, Annie sat on a wooden bench watching Julian chasing after her laughing son, whom wouldn’t play by himself; therefore she still hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Julian alone. Watching a perfect future and family being so close within reach, a drop of tear slip off the corner of her eyes and tumbled down her dry cheek. The words of her doctor kept replaying over and over in her head telling her that she had cancer. That the pain over the year that she once believes was arthritis from her childhood injury to her back and had always taken it lightly was actually bone cancer. That not only does she have cancer of the bone, but that it is located on her spine, an area that can’t be amputated to solve the problem. That her expected time left depends on the ticking clock in her body to when her cancer will spread to other organ. That when it does, the most she could have is one year with continue therapy or less than three months without. And that the perfect future and family in front of her is actually no where close within reach.

Annie forced a smile and waved back to her son when he hollered for her attention. She let out a soft chuckle to see her fiancée trip over a tree root during his chase after her son. Another drop of her tear slipped out from the realm of her eye. She swiftly wipes it away as she continues to watch every move of her son. Tears quickly watered her vision as she realize how many chances she had missed out on watching her son grow up during the majority of the four years that she had went to get her college degree.

Drying her tears and sniffing hard to hold them in, Annie silently remembers her past. She remembered that when she found out she was pregnant with Jacky she was only nineteen and not yet married. She remembered how foolish she was back then to believe that her boyfriend would be excited about the news and that they would happily get married right away. She remembered the hard lesson she had learn when he left her for good without leaving a word. He had left her with nothing but a son that had asked her multiple times who his father is.

After Jacky’s father left them, Annie didn’t have high hope for future relationship. She lost her sense of trust to love again. It was a big accomplishment between Julian and her to start a new trusted relationship. She couldn’t believe that she was able to find someone who is willing to love her son as much as loving her. Now that she finally found this special half, she can’t understand why heaven had to condemn her life once again.

Exhausted from running and also wanting a chance to talk to Annie, Julian persuaded Jacky into playing with other kids at the park. Once Annie realizes Julian is heading toward her, she quickly dried all of her tears and won’t allow her eyes to wet. Laughing softly, Julian exhaustedly exclaimed, “I had never know being a daddy require this much energy.” His voice trailed off when he realizes Annie slowly turned away avoiding his eyes contact. Squatted down in front of her, Julian caringly reached out to hold her hands. Annie turned away so she is not facing him directly. She fears that he could see through her. “I’m all yours now. You could tell me whatever that’s bothering you,” declared Julian patiently.

Sniffing and pressing her lips tightly seal, Annie finally couldn’t hold it in any longer. Not wanting to let him see her redden eyes, she swiftly leaned toward him to tightly wrap her arms around his neck and rested her head against his. Her muted cry begins to become audible.

Seeing Annie acting this unusual made Julian felt fear. He could sense something really awful had happened. Arched his brows with worry not really knowing how to comfort her, he begin to pat her back and gently asked, “Is it because of…”

“Don’t talk,” Annie requested in the softest whisper, which quickly silenced Julian. “Don’t say a word Julian, or I will no longer have the courage. Let me cry on you, just for a little longer?” Julian nodded to her request, while she silently cried. After a few minutes, Annie finally speaks up, “I had been trying to come up with an excuse to leave you, but I really don’t want us to end with a lie. I don’t want to lie to you, Julian.”

“You…”

“Don’t… Please let me finish first,” Annie requested. Silently, Julian nodded while his heart begins to stir with an uneasy feeling of fear to what she had to say. “I don’t want to do the same thing as what he had once done to me, by leaving you without a word. I’m sorry Julian, I can’t marry you.”

“What…”

“I wanted you to know that I love you.”

“Then why…”

Once again Annie quickly cut his questioning. She continued, “I have cancer.” Julian’s eyes widened and his angular jaw slightly dropped open to what he had just heard. He felt like his heart just stopped or jumped out of his body. Shaking his head refusing to believe his ears, he tries to remove Annie’s embrace to look her in the eyes for the answer, but Annie tightened her embrace even more not willing to face him. “Don’t…” cried Annie softly, “You’ll make me cry.”

Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, Julian hopefully whispered so weakly, “There is treatment for…”

“Yes, but the prognosis is not good. He said that my bone cancer is located on the lower portion of my spine. He can’t do anything to remove it. The best he could do is tries to contain it for as long as possible, which he hints probably not more than three years,” Annie informed.

“Bone cancer? That pain?” asked Julian in disbelieve, since he was the one that had been buying her painkiller, when she asked for it.

Annie nodded to his question. She wetted her lips and requested, “Please forgive me.” She finally releases him and quickly pulled her necklace out, which hold their wedding rings. She is trying to remove it from her neck.

Julian quickly grabs her hands and stops her from doing so. “Don’t,” he begged. In a bit of an angry tone, Julian scolded, “What does this have to do with our wedding? If you give them back to me, I will never forgive you.”

“Julian, I’m going to die…” cried Annie.

“I don’t care! I won’t forgive you, if you continue to push me away like this. Let go of it now,” he demanded in a harsh tone. Seeing her vulnerable red eyes, his voice weakened and pleaded, “Please?” He removed her hands from her necklace.

As calm as she could hold her voice, Annie whispered, “Don’t act this rashly. I know you love me.” She faintly smiled and muttered, “That is enough.” Once again she reached for her necklace to remove their rings, Julian was about to stop her again, but she shook her head and begged, “Please don’t.” Seeing her had taken her necklace off and reached for his hand, Julian quickly tighten his hand into a fist, not willing to accept them. Looked up into his eyes, Annie’s heart ached to see them red and glassy for the first time. She really doesn’t want to hurt him more by letting him watches how she slowly dies.

Dropped her head, she whispered faintly, “If you love me, then let me go.” Annie gently strokes his hand and tries to open it. Giving in, Julian loosens his fist. Lovingly, Annie opened his hand and placed her necklace along with the two attached wedding rings onto Julian’s palm. She gently closed his hand back into a fist again and bravely looked up at him one last time before she stood up and headed to get her son.
………………..

[Yak]

Early the next morning, Jacky woke up and stepped out of his room to see his mom still sitting in the same chair on the balcony, since last night. Even though his mom didn’t explain to him why they left his new daddy in the park and went home yesterday, Jacky had a bad feeling that his mommy is not happy at all. Silently, he walked up to Annie and called, “Mommy?” His mom didn’t answer to his call; she just gazed ahead with a blank drained expression. “Mommy!” he called loudly with a push on her lap. His mom snaps out of her thought and looked down at him with a pair of redden weary eyes and a thin smile. “Mommy, why did you cry? Did he bully you?” asked Jacky with concern.

Shaking her head with a faint chuckle, Annie replied, “No, he didn’t.” Longingly, Annie reached her hand out to ruffle his hair. She then patted her lap gestured him to climb on and sit with her. Grinned brightly, Jacky happily climbed on to sit on his mommy’s lap. He had always enjoyed time being alone with his mom, since he didn’t had much chance during the past four years to do so. Annie tightly cuddled her son as she lovingly rubbed her cheek against his hair. She whispered into his ear, “Remember that I’ll always love you, alright?”

Nodding, Jacky replied, “Me too.” He glanced up at his mom and felt really sad to see her eyes watered. Pouting, he asked in a protective tone, “He is picking on you, huh?”

Laughed, Annie shook her head and assured, “No, he love mommy a lot. Mommy is the one that hurt him.” Even though, Annie know that she had made Julian really unhappy, but she know eventually he will get over her and find a better half. What she worried most now is her son. She doesn’t know how to tell her six-years-old son that she is dying and will have to break the promise of not leaving him behind again. At least she is comforted to know that she could depend on her two childhood best friends Louis and Jessica, whom she grew up with at the orphanage, will be willing to take care of Jacky like their own son.

Feeling his stomach growled, Jacky sheepishly exclaim, “Mommy, I’m hungry.”

Chuckled, Annie lovingly asked, “What would you like to have for breakfast? I’ll make anything that you name.”

Quickly, Jacky replied, “Can I have Oreo and milk? Please, please…” Sneakily, Jacky peeked back into the flat to make sure Jessica is not around before he starts his complaint, “Aunty Jess never let me have cookie for breakfast. She always forces Nancy and me to eat cereal, waffle, or pancake. She is not up yet, mommy, so can I please have Oreo and milk?”

Laughed, Annie nodded and said, “Just this one time. Jacky, Aunty Jessica just wanted you to eat healthy.”

“I know, I’m not mad at her,” replied Jacky with an excited grin. He quickly hopped off his mommy’s lap and pulled on her to head in.

After getting her son set with milk and Oreo and his favorite cartoon channel on, Annie headed back to sit on the balcony chair gazing ahead into deep thought again. During the commercial break, Jacky turned toward the balcony and frowned to see his mommy sitting all alone out there again. He knows that his mom is very unhappy about something and that it all started after they left the park yesterday.

The doorbell suddenly rung making Jacky jumped, since he didn’t expect anyone coming by this early. “Mommy, someone is at the door!” hollered Jacky, since he weren’t supposes to open the door himself. Seeing his mom not hearing him or the constantly ringing doorbell, Jacky hopped off the sofa to answer the door. When he opened the door to see it was Julian, Jacky face quickly darkens and his eyes glared at him.

“Jacky, can I come in to talk to your mommy?” asked Julian, who too has weary looking eyes.

“What did you do to my mommy yesterday? Now she is so sad and crying… You promised me to make her happy,” pouted Jacky, who crossed his arm and not willing to step away from the doorway.

“I’m sorry. Let me come in and make it better, please?” requested Julian. Julian peeked in and saw Annie sitting out in the balcony behind the dinning area. Jacky looked toward his mom too, whom seem to not realize Julian had arrived.

Jacky tugged on Julian’s arm for attention. After Julian looked down at him, Jacky pleaded, “Please make mommy happy again.” Julian nodded repeatedly, so Jacky stepped aside to let him in. Returned to the sofa, Jacky returned to his cartoon, but every few second he would turn around to check on the grownup.

Meanwhile, Julian silently stepped into the balcony and headed to kneel in front of Annie. Surprised to see him here, Annie just looked down into his dark brown eyes longingly as her eyes begin to water. Julian reached to softly sweep her tears away with his thumbs. In tears himself, he pulled her in to embrace her tightly. “I don’t want to let go,” he whispered into her ear. Sighed longingly, Julian sincerely asked, “Tell me Annie; if the situation is switch around would you willing to let me go?” Annie did not reply; she knows what he is trying to do to her. “Then please don’t do this to me,” he begged.

“I don’t want you to regret. Your parents don’t even like the idea that I have Jacky. What will they say if they know that I…”

“You’re married to me, not them, so let me handle them. All you should think about is us…you, me, and Jacky…”

“I don’t want you to see me die,” fearfully whispered Annie. “It’ll hurt…” she added.

Letting out a soft disbelieve chuckle, Julian replied, “You think that by not marrying me that I would not stick around you to the end? It’ll hurt either way. Annie, at the time that I proposed to you, in my heart I had already say ‘I do’, therefore I had already agreed to the commitment of for riches or for poor and for health or for sickness, until death do us part.”

“You don’t know what you’re…”

“I’m not being rash. I had thought about it the entire night. I had not had a wink of sleep. All I could think of is that I shouldn’t had let you walked off yesterday at the park,” he told her. Released their embrace Julian looked deep into her eyes and sighed. In a serious tone, he speaks calmly, “No one could promise us a long happy life. Who know, maybe I get into an accident and leave you tomorrow.”

“Julian…”

Stopped Annie from saying more, Julian continued, “Annie, what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter if we get one happy days together or eternity, what important is that we cherish them and didn’t gave up on them ourselves. I want to be that special person that you can count on even during tough time. I will regret if I do let you go now.”

Julian turned to look toward Jacky, who quickly turned back to the TV when he saw Julian caught him spying on them. Julian returned his sincere gaze back to Annie and said, “I like being Jacky’s father. He needs a father, especially at this time. Let me be that important person forever. Let both Jacky and me support you through this tough time.”

Looking toward her son, Annie sniffed on her tears and worriedly stated, “I don’t want him to be your burden after I left.”

“Nonsense,” snapped Julian. He clamed himself down and promised, “He will forever be my son, no matter what happen. He will be my support, not a burden. I know we will make a happy family. I wanted our live to be filled with more laughter than tears. Annie, give us all a chance, please?” Looking toward the living room to see Jacky spying on them again, Julian let out a soft chuckle and said, “Look, he really needed this family. I do too. Please?”

Leaned in to embrace Julian, Annie shuts her eyes and whispered, “Me too.” Relieved, Julian embraced her tighter and rubbed his chin against her forehead, while she silently sob, thanking heaven for such a husband.
……………..

After being married, Annie started her radiation and chemotherapy treatment to control her cancer from spreading. Her husband and son are her greatest emotional support, whom had given her the courage to face her cancer with a laugh. Even though she is doomed with this disease, she still lived her life with great color of happiness. She had never felt as loved her entire life until now, with a great husband and a true meaningful family.

The only set back is that because of radiation and chemotherapy, she is not able to give her husband a child of their own, since her radiologist advised them to avoid pregnancy fearing that it’ll be an abnormal child. Julian had told her many times that he doesn’t mind and that Jacky is a child of their own. Her husband told her that the only thing he wishes for is to have as much laughter filling their days as possible, therefore Annie had learn to let go of her sadness, anger, and guilt to enjoy the family and precious moment that she have now.

“Mommy, hurry up!” yelled Jacky as he pounded on one of the changing stall at the beach. It’s a warm summer Sunday, a family day that they had decided to spend picnicking at the beach.

In the stall, Annie had changed into her swimming suit a long time ago, but she was in a bit of pain and didn’t want her son to see her suffer, therefore she wouldn’t come out. Both Annie and Julian still hadn’t told Jacky or anyone else about her cancer. In pain, Annie squatted down hugging her bended legs while pressing her curved back against the wall to control her pain as she replied to her son in the calmest manner possible, “I’m almost ready. Jacky, where is daddy?”

“Daddy went to get my sand toys out of the car,” informed Jacky. He continued to pound on the door and impatiently rushed, “Mommy, hurry up!”

Nodding inside the stall, Annie made an excuse trying to keep Jacky busy, “Jacky, go find daddy and ask him to get our beach towels too. He probably won’t remember.”

Seeing Julian returned dressed in his swimming trunk and a white tank top, Jacky grins brightly and charged up to him. “Daddy, mommy asks if you remembered our beach towels,” said Jacky as he excitedly grabs his sand toys.

“Of course! Even grabbed the sunscreen lotion, so you won’t get burned into a barbequed piglet,” smirked Julian with a wink at his stepson.

“Eww…no! No, sticky white glue!” protested Jacky as he begin to run. When he saw his daddy taking off to chase after him, he laughed and ran faster. Swiftly, Julian caught up and quickly lifted Jacky off the sand. He threw Jacky back to sit on his shoulders. Startled, Jacky clenched his two hands onto his daddy’s hair, to make sure he won’t fall. Julian raised his hands up to tickle Jacky two sides making him laughed hysterically as he wiggled around, but didn’t dare to let go of his daddy’s hair. “Not fair!” complained Jacky with laughter.

Laughing joyfully, Julian asked, “Surrender?”

“Never!” stubbornly chuckled Jacky.

Stopped tickling his son, Julian asked, “Is mommy changed yet?”

“No, she is still changing in there,” said Jacky pointing toward the stall that Annie is in.

Curious to what taking his wife so long, Julian ran toward the stall with Jacky still sitting on his shoulders. “Honey, are you alright in there?” he asked sweetly.

“Julian, did you grab my orange bag from the car?” Annie asked in a weaken voice that was obviously in pain.

Getting the hint that she needed her medication, Julian replied, “Yeah.” He quickly lifted Jacky off him and placed him down. “Jacky, you go ahead and start building your sandcastle, let daddy help mommy with her swimming suit first, okay?” instructed Julian in a clear and patient manner.

Happily and impatient, Jacky nodded and snapped, “Okay, but hurry.”

“We will,” answered Julian as he gestured his son to go ahead. Jacky took off running in the sand barefooted and hopped the rest of his way due to the hot sand. “Stay nearby and don’t go anywhere near the water!” hollered Julian. Jacky turned around and nodded.

Finally returning his attention back to his wife, Julian requested, “Let me come in.” Annie unlocked the door to the stall. Julian quickly ran in and found her squatted against the wall of the small stall. Worriedly, he pulled her up and helped her to a chair as he concernedly asked, “Morphine?” Annie nodded as she faintly smiled and held her fist against her back to apply pressure to the pain. “One, three, or five?” Julian asked as he quickly opened Annie small orange medicine bag and grabbed the narcotic.

“Give me three, I don’t want to feel drowsy,” said Annie slightly trembling voice. Nodding Julian quickly measured three milliliter of the powerful painkiller into a medicine cup and also opened a bottle of water. Seeing her husband looking a bit anxious, Annie assured, “Don’t get worry, it doesn’t hurt as bad as last time.”

“I know,” replied Julian with a thin smile, just so his wife doesn’t feel guilty or think of her self as a burden that causes his worry. Expertly, he collected the right drug and amount and handed it to his wife. Standing there quietly, Julian anxiously watches Annie drink it down. With pale looking lips, Annie let out a faint smile and looked into his eyes. “Thanks,” said Annie with an assuring smile. She than chuckled and asked, “Did the swimming trunk you brought Jacky fit him okay?” She reached her hand out for her husband.

Interlocked Annie’s hand, Julian gave it a squeeze as he replied, “A little bit big, but he will grow into it in no time.” Seeing her looks so worn out, he softened his tone and suggested in a whisper, “Let go home. I wanted you to have a little rest. I could always take Jacky down to the swimming pool to teach him how to swim.”

Shaking her head, Annie give his hand a squeeze and assured, “Don’t worry, just give me ten minutes, it’ll go away. It’s a perfect day, I wanted to enjoy it too and I don’t want to disappoint Jacky.”

Understanding that his wife wanted to do more for her son as times slowly became limited, Julian nodded. Stood up, Julian smiled at her with a smirk and offered, “Mrs. Cheung, since you generously offered me a ten minutes time alone with you, I’ll offer you a spectacular body rubs with today’s most specially formulated sunscreen lotion. Aren’t you the luckiest lady of this beach today?” Annie nodded and chuckled at her husband playful little smirk and his foolish way of chasing her glooms away.

After the rest in the stall, both Julian and Annie walked across the hot sand in their flip-flop heading toward Jacky, who is shoveling and dumping sand into a pile. While her husband set the area with a large beach towel spread on the sand and assembling a huge beach umbrella, Annie went to pull her son up to face her. She couldn’t help but laugh at how easy Jacky flushes under heat. Laughing she turned to her husband and teased, “Honey, there is one think that he is just like you. You both blushes like a girl under heat.” Julian and Jacky glared at her for calling them a girl, which made her laughed harder. “Never mind, you two had too many common traits,” she teased at the two exact expressions.

“Of course! We are father and son,” proudly smirked Julian as he launch the umbrella open to provide shade.

“Honey, can you throw me the sunscreen?” requested Annie.

Julian dig for it out of their bag and threw it toward his wife, while Jacky kept shaking his head and whined, “No sticky glue please. Please no sticky glue, it hurt my eyes…”

“If you don’t rub it, it won’t get into your eyes. Come on Jacky you’re turning bright red. You’ll be peeling like a snake tomorrow, if you keep it up. Jacky Cheung stand still and stops squirming around,” warned Annie, while Jacky pouted and finally stood still for his mom to rub his body.

“I’m hungry mommy! What are we eating?” Jacky asked.

“Sweetheart, it’s only ten, you just had breakfast an hour ago,” reminded Annie. Jacky pouted.

Cheering him up, Julian suggested, “I thought you wanted to learn how to swim? You can’t do that with a full stomach. How about the three of us share half a sandwich, then go swim until noonish before we eat the rest?” Smiling cheerfully, Jacky nodded to the idea.

After they shared the small half a sandwich, Annie hinted to her husband, “How about you teach him how to swim, while I enjoy the warm sand and joint you an hour later?”

Knowing that it must be her medication making her felt sleepy, Julian agreed. He reminded, “Get me if you needed anything at all.” She nodded with a smile that scrunched the bridge of her nose. “Okay rascal, let go learn how to drown properly,” joked Julian, who hopped to his feet and gestured for his son to follow.

Wrinkles his worried brows, Jacky nervously asked, “Drown?” Once he stepped out of the shady area onto the hot sand he begin to hop back and forth alternating his foot as he screamed, “Hot, hot, hot, hot…”

Both Julian and Annie laughed at their son. Julian stepped back to pick him up and piggybacked him to the wet sand before he put him back down. As they splashed water at each other rather then learning how to swim, Annie watches them with amuse. Slowly, she felt too drowsy, so she lied down and dozed off to sleep.

When she stirs by the soft chuckling of her son, Annie realizes that beside her head, her entire body is covered with sand piled up like a dome. She turned to her left and notice her husband lying beside her also covered up with a high pile of sand. He grinned at her and shuts his eyes to enjoy the warm sand bathing his body. Annie turned to her right and there squatted her son with a toy shovel as he sheepishly chuckles. “I thought you went to learn how to swim from daddy,” confusedly asked Annie.

Julian yawned and answered for Jacky, “We did. Besides drinking a lot of the salty water, he did pretty goods for the first lesson.”

“How long had I napped?” questioned Annie, since it felt like she just close her eyes for five minutes.

“A long time,” stressed Jacky.

“It just two hour,” answered Julian.

“Its’ noon now?” asked Annie dauntingly.

Nodding repeatedly, Jacky exclaimed, “I’m hungry.”

Julian just chuckled, while Annie quickly pushed the sand off her body. She dug the sand for her husband’s hand and yanked him up too. They enjoyed their lunch of sandwich, chips, grapes, Jell-O, and apple juice. After lunch, they worked together to build a sand castle, which kept falling apart because Jacky kept insisting on adding more sand to make it taller. Later in the afternoon, they headed back into the water and played there until near sunset before Jacky is too tired and finally willing to go home.
………………

[Suet Seung]

Hmm...will you be updating the other fanfics as well? I'll bel come back to read this newest addition. Thanks!

[Yak]

Days and weeks went by quickly when life is happy and enjoyable, especially during weekend when Julian didn’t had to work. Finishing up with the folding of her family laundry in the living room while her son is re-watching the Disney movies ‘Chicken Little’ for the third time today, Annie glanced toward the calendar and smiled to realize that after today, she had been married to Julian for perfectly three months. A very happy three months out of her entire life.

When the end credit to the movie popped out, Annie announced, “Time for bed!”

“Awww…daddy is not even out of the shower yet. He still hasn’t watches this, can I watch it with him when he come out?” Jacky asked.

“No, come on, go brush up. Tomorrow is not a holiday, you have school to attend. Hop to it now,” urged Annie. She stood up and turns off the DVD player and nudged her pouting son to the bathroom, where her husband is showering.

Looked toward the closed shower curtain, Jacky sweetly stretched his voice, “Daddy…”

“Hmm?” replied Julian from the shower where hot steams clouded up. “Honey, close the door, its’ cold,” informed Julian.

Chuckling at her son, knowing what he is trying to do to Julian’s soft heart, Annie exclaimed, “You deal with him tonight, but no spoiling.” She chuckled and stepped out with the door shut behind her.

Slyly, Jacky advertised, “Daddy, ‘Chicken Little’ is really good. You want to watch it after you finish showering? Some part is really scary. Like the part with the alien. I’ll watch it with you and tell you when the scary part comes out so you won’t get scare, okay?”

Listening from behind the door, Annie chuckled softly. She opened the door and loudly cleared her throat. Smiling weakly, Jacky sheepishly glanced up to see his mommy glaring at him. He quietly returns to his brushing, not daring to play anymore trick. “Young man, don’t take my words lightly,” she warned playfully and stepped back out, while Julian chuckled.

“Jacky, your mommy is right, it’s really late now and you have school tomorrow. You should go to sleep," stated Julian as he pulled a towel in to dry himself and putted on a white terrycloth robe. Julian stepped out of the shower and headed to brush his teeth standing beside his stepson.

After they are finish with the brushing, Jacky interlocked his hand with Julian and looked up at him to ask, “Daddy, can I keep the movie for one more day then? Please?”

“Alright,” replied Julian as they stepped out of the bathroom.

Rolled her eyes, as she neatly hangs her husband’s dress shirt back into the closet, Annie mumbled, “Mr. Cheung, you are spoiling him rotten.”

Grinned at Jacky, while Jacky pressed his lips and chuckled silently, Julian instructed, “Go kiss mommy good night.” Jacky ran up to peck Annie’s on the cheek and quickly ran back to Julian to hold his hand. Annie sighed for her son heart being so easily changed. Now a day, it is always daddy here, daddy there, no longer asking for his mommy, thought Annie with a pout. Chuckling at his wife childish pout, Julian teased, “Jealous?” She rolled her eyes at him. Julian nudged Jacky to walk and instructed, “Come on, let go tug you into bed and read you a story.”

Meanwhile Julian is in Jacky’s room, Annie finish up putting her laundry away and sat down on her dresser to untie her short ponytail and comb her hair. She sighed at the sight of her hair slipping off her comb. Looked at herself on the mirror, she can’t deny that her hair is thinning because of chemotherapy. Her husband must have notice it too, she thought in silent. How much she wishes she could remain beautiful for him, well at least not heading toward baldness. She sighed to the thought that tomorrow she had to go in for another round of treatment.

“Hey cutie,” smirked Julian, whom is dreamingly leaning on the door frame with eyes stilly unmoved on Annie.

Pouted childishly, Annie sarcastically scoffed, “You think that I’m so cute that you can’t resist buying me a hat today?”

“I keep seeing you staring at it each time we go to the mall, so I figure you wanted it,” explained Julian. Chuckled, he walked to stand behind her chair and looked at her from the mirror. “You look as lovely as the first day I met you,” said Julian to lift his wife’s spirit. Placed his hands on her shoulders, he begin to massage it. He laughed, “It must had drive you nut to watch ‘Chicken Little’ three times in a day. Thank heaven I had to work.”

Annie glared at him and muttered, “And you had to promise him to keep it for another day.” Julian laughed. “He is asleep already?” asked Annie.

“Yup, I’m an expert in being a daddy, aren’t I?” cockily stated Julian with proud grin. He walked to plop down on the bed tiredly. “Annie, I’ll be free by noon tomorrow. So we’ll go to the hospital together, then go pick Jacky up from school, and then out for dinner?” suggested Julian.

“You don’t have to go with me each time, you know, I can manage myself…”

“Come on, let me have this excuse to avoid my annoying clients,” said Julian.

Shortly laughed, Annie suggests, “Rather than going out for dinner, how about going over to Louis and Jessica? Jessica phoned me today saying that she missed seeing Jacky and so did Nancy.” She walked over to join her husband, lying beside him with her head on his chest, using it as a pillow.

“Sure,” replied Julian with a yawn.

“You should see them together, they are so adorable playing house together,” commented Annie. “Julian, do you remember what special day it is, in just two more weeks?” asked Annie with a grin. Pondering hard, Julian couldn’t come up with an answer. Beside that she had chemo schedule for that week. Julian is certain that, that is not what his wife is looking for. He tired hard to think of when they first met, when they first date, and her birthday, but none of those dates are within that week. Chuckling at her husband nervous look, Annie revealed the answer, “It’s Father’s Day. Jacky asked me to buy you flower. Is that what you wanted?”

Chuckled, Julian happily replied, “Oooo…I get to celebrate Father’s Day this year? It’s great to have a son, especially one that sticks to me like bee and honey…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…rub it in, Mr. Cheung,” pouted Annie. Became serious again, Annie asked, “Honey, should we invite your parents over to celebrate it with us? You know, you do have your own father. Including our wedding day, I had only seen your parents twice after marrying to you. I don’t want them to feel like I had taken their only child away. Let eat at home. Tell me what your parents like to eat, so I can have more time to prepare it myself. It’ll be fun and cozy to eat at home like one big family. I had always fantasized having a day like this when I lived in the orphanage.”

“Sure, if you like,” flatly replied Julian, since he didn’t quite like what his mom had commented about Annie in the past. Glancing over at their nightstand mini calendar, Julian reminded, “Wait, that’s the same date as your chemotherapy. Wouldn’t you be too worn out to prepare dinner? Let eat out, so you can rest that day.”

“I should be fine, I think I’m getting a hang of it now,” assured Annie. She grinned from ear to ear with excitement and asked, “Would you like to have a cake? I had borrowed a baking cookbook from Jessica.”

“You, bake? No thanks,” laughed Julian.

Darkens her face, Annie gave him a hard knocked on the head with her knuckle. Playfully, Julian rolled on top of her and pinned her hands down while looking at her seductively. Annie couldn’t help but laugh at her husband foolish gesture and the rising and lowering of his left brows. He leaned down to kiss her intimately, but before he goes any further, Annie stopped him and hinted him to let her go. Pouted, Julian rolled off and asked, “What’s up?”

Sighed, Annie informed, “I’m late and I mean really late.”

“How late?” asked Julian with a bit of worry, he than brushed off his worried and stated, “It’s impossible. Come on, you’re on your pills and I do use hmp…hmp… I’m sure we are pretty covered.” He turned back to give her his goofy looking eyes again. Cruelly laughed, Annie pushed him back and gotten off their bed. “Hey, you don’t have to run away. Beside, even if you are pregnant, it’s not like what we do tonight will change anything.”

“You go to sleep Mr. Cheung, I’m going to brush,” informed Annie.

“So how late are you?” curiously asked Julian.

“A month and a half,” hollered Annie from the bathroom.

A bit nervous to what the doctor had once told them about avoiding pregnancy because the baby may be abnormal due to the cancer treatment Annie is undergoing, Julian suggested, “Why don’t you do a pregnancy test? You know, just in case.”

Sticking her head out teasingly, Annie laughed and informed, “That’s what I’m planning to do now.” Julian quickly jump out of the bed and followed her into the bathroom. Pushing her husband back out, Annie instructed, “I can’t pee with you in there. Wait outside.”

Paced back and forth by the bathroom door, Julian is really anxious but not in an excited way, since he know that they can’t keep this baby if they are having one. Finally, the door opened, so he nervously questioned, “So?”

Frowning and pouting, Annie handed her pregnancy test over to him and unhappily went back into their bathroom to brush. Relieved that it was negative, Julian smiled and cheered, “Oh thanks heaven!”

Annie darted at him with disbelieve and commented, “You’re so cruel, Julian Cheung, so cruel. Don’t you want to have a baby with me?”

Stepped in to hug her from behind, Julian stated, “Of course I wanted a baby. But honey, right now is a wrong timing. Once you get better, we could try then, okay?” Seeing her still frowning with disappointment, Julian leaned in to peck the side of her cheek. Annie sighed knowing that her husband is right, but still deep down she really wanted this opportunity to do one last thing for him.
…………….

The next morning, after her husband had went to work; Annie woke up not feeling like herself. As usual, she gets up to wake her son up and get him ready for school. After fixing Jacky sunny-side-up egg and toast for breakfast, Annie went into her bathroom to apply makeup. She suddenly felt nauseated and end up constantly vomiting with a fast racing pulse. She felt weak like all of her energy had been drained from her in a snap of a finger. This is not the first time that she experienced these symptoms, since it’s one of the side affect she often experience after having treatment. But in the past it usually happens after therapy not before it. This made Annie suspicious about her negative pregnancy test.

Curious to what taking his mom so long, Jacky ran into the bathroom to check on her. He was confused when he found his mommy sitting on the floor of the bathroom crying. “Mommy, what’s wrong?” he asked.

Shaking her head, Annie quickly wiped her tears and assured, “Mommy’s fine. Mommy just got some makeup in the eyes and it hurt.” The fact was that she had gotten really tired of this sicken nauseated feeling and the thought of knowing it’ll get worst after her radiation treatment today, made her cried not wanting to go. She is also stressed about what to do if she does get pregnant. After last night incident, she knows her husband prefer her not to have a baby now. She understands why Julian would think that way. But if she is pregnant and the baby is normal, she just doesn’t know where she can find the courage to abort the child. Glanced up at her son, Annie gestured as she requested, “Can Jacky give mommy a hug?”

Nodding with a smile, Jacky quickly hugged his mommy. Annie cuddled him tightly and sniffed hard to get rid of all her tears. She knows that she must be brave and continue her therapy if she wanted to stay with Jacky and her husband for as long as she can. “Mommy is your eyes better now?” asked Jacky.

Nodded, Annie assured, “Yes, you make it much better now.” Jacky proudly chuckled. “Jacky, would you like to stay home with mommy today?” asked Annie, since she really wanted her son’s company.

Widened his eyes, Jacky wishfully asked, “Really? I really could stay home?”

Laughed softly, Annie nodded and informed, “Yes, but no ‘Chicken Little’, at least not until tonight. Daddy will be home during lunch time to take mommy to a doctor appointment…”

“Mommy is sick?”

“No, just a regular checkup,” lied Annie. She smiled and asked Jacky, “Do you wanted to play with Nancy? I bet she misses you a lot. We’re planning to take you over to Uncle Louis and Aunty Jessica for dinner after mommy’s doctor appointment.”

“Really! I missed Nancy too! And I haven’t play game with Uncle Louis for a long time!” excitedly stated Jacky.

“Maybe we should call daddy and see if he is interested in taking us to a buffet for lunch,” suggested Annie.

Nodding, Jacky rushed up and excitedly exclaimed, “I’ll go call daddy now!” He can’t believe that not only can he skip school but that he get to have buffet and even go over to Louis and Jessica for dinner. While Jacky went out to call his daddy, Annie cleaned up the mess she made. Jacky hollered from the living room, “Mommy, daddy wanted to talk to you!” Jacky ran into the bathroom with the cordless phone, handing it over to his mom.

“Honey, do you think you could get off work a bit more early? Jacky like the…”

“I know, he told me. I’m sorry Annie, I don’t think I could make it home this afternoon,” said Julian with a grumpy growl. “One of my clients urgently rescheduled his appointment. He said he had a business trip this evening and must see me this afternoon. I was going to call you around nine to tell you about it…”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about us,” said Annie with a small disappointed frown.

“By the way, why did Jacky say he doesn’t have to go to school today?” asked Julian.

Knowing that Julian will worry about her, Annie quickly thinks of an excuse, “His school called saying that they have some power problem.”

“I see. I’m sorry that I couldn’t take you to your appointment like I promised,” sincerely apologized Julian.

Chuckled, Annie assured, “Jule, its’ okay. Work is more important. Don’t worry, Jacky and I will manage to get there without a problem.”

“Be sure to take the taxi. I don’t want you running after any minibus, alright?”

“Okay, okay, you’re so longwinded,” teased Annie. “I better not keep you from work.”

“Wait honey, I should be able to pick you up after your appointment. So wait for me in the main lobby?”

“Alright, we’ll see you then. You drive carefully. Love you. Bye,” said Annie.

“Love you too, bye,” replied Julian before they ended their call.
…………….

[Yak]

At the hospital, while Jacky is playing in the playroom by the nurse’s station, Annie went to see her oncologist. She told her doctor the symptoms that she had this morning and how it was unlike her usual one. She also told him that even though her pregnancy test was negative she still suspected that she is pregnant, since she is getting similar pregnancy symptoms as when she was pregnant with Jacky. After hearing Annie’s concern, the doctor ordered a more thorough pregnancy test and an ultrasound.

An hour later, after the result had returned, Annie was called in to talk with her doctor. Anxiously with mixed emotion of hopefulness and worry, Annie mutely sat across from her doctor and watches him reviewing her test report and photos taken from her ultrasound. Hearing her doctor soft little sigh and wrinkled brows, she asked, “I am, aren’t I?”

“I’m afraid so,” replied her doctor with a calm worry voice. He finally looked up straight into Annie’s eyes.

Even though Annie had suspected it, it still came as a shock to her. Her mind quickly became bombarded with worries and fear. Feeling stressed not knowing what to do now, her eyes quickly watered and a drop of her tear rolled down her cheek. Snapped out of her thought seeing her mid-fifty years old doctor looking at her for an answer, Annie quickly wipes her tears away and apologized, “I’m sorry.” Swallowed down her tears, Annie weakly asked, “What should I do now?”

With a sigh, her doctor patiently explained, “Annie, there are only two options for you to choose from, which is yours or your baby’s life. You won’t be able to continue with your radiation and chemotherapy treatments if you decided on keeping the baby. Without radiation and chemo mean there will be a very high chance for your cancer to spread to your other organ. Beside that your pain control medication will needed to be changed to one that won’t harm the baby, which mean it’ll be much weaker. Not only that, as the baby grow it’ll apply pressure to the area of the spine where your cancer is located, it’ll be a great deal of pain for you during your last five months. Also, since cancer fed itself on blood and nutrient nearby, it’ll mean fewer blood supplies will get to your baby, since their location will be close, which mean your baby will be smaller in size. It’ll be worst if your cancer spread during this pregnancy time. It’ll fatal to you.”

Frowned, her doctor honestly continued, “Annie, you can’t think this baby will be normal and healthy like how your son was when he was born. In order for this child to live, it’ll have to win many battles during the pregnancy and its’ future life. The chance for your baby to be born healthy is very tiny to impossible, even if you were able to carry it to full term. As your oncologist, of course I want you to put your health and your cancer as the top priority. Therefore I would hope that you came to the decision to abort the child, or else there is no way for me to help you control your cancer.” Seeing Annie placidly sat there without a peep for so long, her doctor suggested, “Maybe have a word with Julian and come up with a decision together.”

Shaking her head, Annie cried, “He would not let me keep our child.”

“That’s just because he really love you,” comforted her doctor.

Glanced down at her flat belly, Annie asked, “Is he or she alright? Did any of my previous treatments harm my baby?”

“We can’t tell by the pregnancy report. And it’s too tiny to really tell from the ultrasound. If it helps you make a decision, I’ll schedule you for genetic counseling to check your baby’s chromosomes to make sure no mutation happened,” offered her doctor. Annie nodded. Her doctor stated, “Let cancel today’s radiation, we don’t want to do anymore harm to your baby until you come up with an answer for us. And I’ll schedule you to see a genetic counselor tomorrow to collect a sample of your baby’s amniotic fluid; it won’t take more than two hours. But for the lab to process the test, it’ll take them about a week to have the result back to me. So call me next week to ask for them. Will tomorrow be alright with you?”

Speechlessly all Annie could do was nod. Walked to give Annie a pat on her shoulder, her doctor comforted, “Annie, I wanted you to know that either choices you pick, I’ll support you the best I could to accomplish your goal. But please don’t take too long to give me your answer. It is far safer to abort when you are less than three months pregnant. You’re two months pregnant already and your health can’t be delay for too long either. Go home, discuss it with your husband, and call me anytime if you are confused about anything that I had told you today.”
……………….

Annie end up being done with her appointment an hour early, since she didn’t had to do her radiation therapy. Feeling really lost from the long talk with her doctor, Annie felt exhausted and can’t really comprehend any of the instruction her doctor gave her. All she remembered from the entire visit was that she is pregnant and scheduled to check on her baby tomorrow morning. Also that in order for her baby to live, she’ll greatly increase her risk of dying. Dazed out the glass wall toward the front entrance of the hospital, Annie sat there like a statue the entire hour, lost in her own world.

Meanwhile, Jacky had been playing nearby, hopping from one tile to the next. He finally gets impatient and went to ask his mommy the hundredth times, “Mommy, when will daddy be here to drive us to Uncle Louis and Aunty Jess? Mommy? Mommy!”

Blinked, Annie finally realizes her son was trying to talk to her. She gave him a weak smile and asked, “What do you need?”

“When is daddy going to pick us up?” he asked again.

Looked at her watch, Annie replied, “He should be coming now.” Tilted her son’s chin up and looked straight into his eyes, Annie seriously asked, “Jacky, would you like to have a little brother or sister to play with you?”

“Mommy’s having a baby?!” excitedly asked Jacky.

Not wanting to disappoint Jacky in the future if they did decide on abortion, Annie shakes her head. “No, mommy just wanted to know,” she told her son.

Frowned a little in disappointment, Jacky confusedly answered, “Yes…no…I mean…” Pouted, Jacky informed in a soft voice, “Yes, but daddy say not to say ‘yes’ to mommy, if mommy asks about it…” His voice trailed off. Jacky pressed his lips not sure if he gets in trouble for what he just said.

Fully understand why her husband would instruct Jacky to do so, Annie sighed knowing that her husband just don’t want her to abandon her cancer treatment. She patted her son head and assured, “It’s alright, you can tell mommy what you truly think. Mommy won’t tell daddy.”

Smiled, Jacky happily said, “I wanted a little brother, so we can play games together. Daddy always had to work and mommy doesn’t know…how to play good…” Jacky sheepishly bit his lower lip. Annie let out a weak chuckle and encouraged him to continue. “Daddy said that if we are going to have a baby in the future, he wanted me to have a little sister. Daddy said then it’ll be a happy family with a mommy, a daddy, me, and a baby sister…”

Surprised, Annie questioned, “Daddy said all of those to you? When did you two have this talk?”

Pondered, Jacky finally recall and cheerfully replied, “The day after we went to Ocean Park to visit mommy dolphin and baby dolphin. I told daddy I wanted a baby brother. Daddy said not to say the same thing to mommy.”

“Where was I? How come I didn’t…”

“Mommy, you were showering. But mommy, I wanted a little brother. Girls are kind of annoying,” informed Jacky.

Gazed at her son with slits eyes, Annie reminded, “Then why you like playing with Nancy so much?”

“Well, she sometime gets annoying too and she cries easy too. She always wanted to play house before she would play tag with me! I don’t want to have a sister like Nancy, who makes me play house with her all the time. I rather have a brother, than we can play tag all the time,” exclaimed Jacky. Curiously, Jacky asked, “Daddy also said that having a baby is a lot of pain for mommy. Is that true?”

Chuckled lightly, Annie replied, “Well, mommy had you. You were a baby once yourself.”

“I don’t remember being painful,” stated Jacky with arched brows while Annie laughed louder. “Daddy!” shouted Jacky as he pointed toward the entrance door.

Annie quickly instructed, “Jacky, don’t tell daddy that we talked about baby, alright?”

“How come?” asked Jacky, confused to why both his parents treated the baby topic like some kind of a sin.

“Just promise mommy,” instructed Annie. Jacky nodded. Quickly silenced the topic, Annie gave her husband a smile.

“Hey did you two waited long?” asked Julian as he leaned in to peck his wife on the cheek and ruffled Jacky’s hair.

Trying to straighten his hair again, Jacky complained, “We waited for so…” His mouth was quickly covered by his mommy. Making him glanced up at them confusedly.

“Not long at all, we just barely walked out. You know how long the process usually takes. He’s just so impatient,” said Annie. Looked into her husband eyes, Annie felt stressed now after knowing her husband wanted a daughter, which proof that he had been lying to her just to make her feel better. She deeply exhaled and felt a headache coming up. “Let go,” she urged.

After gotten into their car, Julian asked, “Should we go buy something before we head over to Louis and Jessica?”

Buckled in, Jacky cheered from the back seat, “Yeah, chocolate cake!”

“Let just go home,” said Annie gloomily.

Daunted, Jacky protested, “Why mommy? You promised that we’re going over to Uncle Lou…”

“Jacky, mommy’s tired. We’ll go another day…”

“Not fair! Daddy didn’t come home early like he promised. We didn’t go out for buffet like you promised, and now we are not even going over to Uncle Louis and Aunty Jess like you promised?” disappointedly grumbled Jacky.

Caringly thinking that it must be her treatment bothering her, Julian reached to pat Annie on her lap and asked, “Are you feeling really sick?” She shook her head to his concern. Smiled, Julian suggested, “We did tell them that we are coming over. Maybe you could lie down to rest for awhile when we get there. You know your old room and bed is still there…”

“Julian, I really wanted to go home,” said Annie definitely.

“Is there something about the appointment that I should know about? Is it spre…”

“No,” dreaded Annie. She sighed tiredly, “I’m okay. No, noting spreading. I just wanted to go home. Can’t I just go home when…”

Pouting with disappointment and hoping that his mom would change her mind, Jacky whined, “But mommy, I wanted to play with…”

“Jacky, enough!” scolded Annie, which she quickly regret when she realize that she is yelling. Jacky became really silent with eyes darted at her for being this harsh to him. It was the first time that his mommy had ever yelled at him this loudly.

Seeing Annie looked really stressed and this sudden outburst, especially toward her most loved son, made Julian really worry about her. He just knows that something is just not right. Reached over trying to pull Annie in for a hug to comfort her, he was taken back when Annie shrugged him away.

Shutting her eyes with her fingers massaging her forehead, Annie softened her tone and apologized, “I’m sorry sweetheart. Mommy didn’t mean to yell at you. Mommy is having a headache and just needed to rest at home. Maybe have daddy drive you over to Uncle Louis to play with Nancy…”

“No! I wanted to go home!” grouchily replied Jacky with an angry pout.

“Annie…”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Just drive us home,” stubbornly stated Annie with frustration.

“I knew I should have goes with you to all of your appointments,” exclaimed Julian. Annie turned to dart at him for the meaning behind his words. In a more caring tone, Julian continued, “If you could tell me what it’s, maybe I could help…”

“What could you help me with?” distressingly asked Annie in a growl. She clamed herself down and expressed her feeling in a ramble, “I’m tired of this, Julian. I no longer know what I should do. I don’t know what choice is right or wrong.”

Suspiciously, Julian looked straight at Annie and asked, “What kind of decision did you need to make?”

Ignored his question, Annie continued, “I don’t want you to treat me like I needed to live in a bubble. I don’t want you to purposely force yourself to smile to cheer me up, while I had to force myself to smile back. I don’t want you to tell me how one thing is not important to you, but once I’m not around you think differently. I don’t want you to think that I’m getting sicker or worry about my cancer spreading whenever I looked tired after a treatment. I don’t want to force myself to act healthy each time to ensure that you’re not worried about me. Why do we have to put on an act in front of each other? What is the point to this? Sometime I just wish that my cancer would spread, than I can…”

“You did not mean that!” scolded Julian inflamingly. “Annie, what’s this all about?” asked Julian furiously to why his wife suddenly acted this way. “I’m sorry that you think I made you felt this unhappy, but what you think I should do? I’m your husband, isn’t it my responsibility to care about you? How you think it make me feel to see you suffer, but can’t do anything to help you, but instead I had to pretend to believe you when you say that it doesn’t hurt as bad as it seem! The only reason for me to worry about you constantly is because I love you! Because I’m really afraid of having that day arrive, the day when I’ll woke up not being able to see you sleeping next to me!”

“I never doubted your love, Julian! I just hated myself for making you suffer like this! I hated how you kept putting me before everything! Do you understand that it become a great pressure on me?”

“Why must you calculate who made who suffer? Does it really matter that much? Must I have cancer too, so you can worry about me to make it fair? If you loved me then let me love you unconditionally! What’s the point of weighting yourself like this?”

“Then why can’t I be the one that sacrifice! Why do you have to force me to think of myself all the time? Why can’t we think of you for once?”

“What are you talking about?” asked Julian confusedly.

“Please don’t fight!” cried Jacky loudly and uncontrollably, which silenced his two parents right away. Jacky cry became the only sound in the car.

Seated in the front passenger side, Annie mutely cried as she gazed out the window. A bit angered with the way his wife think herself as a burden to him, Julian darted his eyes out the opposite direction as he seated in silent too. Both of them can understand why each other would act the way they had acted and know that they are suffering together no matter who is the one with cancer.

Tired from crying for a long period of time, Jacky’s cry slowly dies out. He begins to have the sniffle and tiny hiccup. Seeing his parents not talking with each other made him worry if he had been so bad that they are mad at him now. Tearing, Jacky apologized, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to go to Uncle Louis and Aunty Jess anymore. Please don’t get mad.”

Sighed, both Julian and Annie said in unison, “It’s not your fault.” They looked at each other for a split second before averting their eyes elsewhere again. Shutting his eyes briefly to gather his thought, Julian turned to face Annie wanting to apologize, but she is looking out the window. Still a bit angry, he just brushes off his thought of apologizing and started his car to drive them home. The entire ride was in total silent. Yawned, Jacky watches cars drive by and slowly dozed off with his dried tears marking his cheeks.
……………

[Suet Seung]

Kay, how could you?! OMG....this is too sad for me. I usually don't like reading stories about characters having a terminal illness, its just too sad. I can't ask you to give them a happy ending like making her miraculously cured, awww....so sad... Hmm...Is there such a thing called bone cancer? I never heard of that before.

I'm sorry, I like your other stories but this one is too sad to continue reading, unless you give me some hope that she gets cured?

[Yak]

Well, the title kind of self explanatory, so can't really turn it into a miracle or it'll be really unrealistic. So can't give you false hope. Sad to hear that you won't be continuing, but I understand not everyone like sad story. Sad, since you're the only one that willing to give me feedback. Oh well...

Oh yeah forgot to answer your question, Yes, there is bone cancer and the medical term is something osteocarcinoma (if I spell that right, kekeke). Pt. with bone cancer located on their extremities usually do amplutation to stop their cancer from spreading. I'm sure if you have it on the spine in real life, there is something you can do to take out the section. But for this story sake, I simplify to no treatment. I know, I'm mean

[Suet Seung]

Heh heh heh... I see, I guess I'll have to dig up your old fanfics and read them but don't blame me for pestering you once I remember what chapter I was at last or when i finish reading them and start nagging you to update them instead.... In any case, I'll wait patiently for your updates. Aww...and you had to write about one of my favorite pairings. I'm sorry for not continuing to read this piece, I just haven't gotten over the sadness of Autumn Tale (the kdrama). So please don't take it to heart if i don't continue. Well...off to dig up your other fanfics and read em'

But Good luck with writing this one and finishing it. I'm sure there will be others who love tearjerker stories who will one day give you feedback. BTW, what gave you the idea to write such a sad story? For me I like to write ones with drama but also happy endings for at least the main characters.

[Yak]

Suet Seung: Don't worry, you don't have to read this one. I don't mind The reason I wanted to write this sad fanfic, is because I really wanted a touching story with a very memorible tragic ending. None of my other fanfics had a sad ending about death, so I decided to write one Alright, time to say good bye then.

.........................

When Jacky woke up, he was a bit lost to his dark surrounding and how he got in his bed. Worried about his parents, he quickly headed out. The first think he notices was the sound of the television set in the living room being turned on. He saw the back of Julian head at the sofa facing the TV. When Julian flipped through the channels, Jacky was able to recognizes the voice of the newsman from one of the channel and know that it must be dinner time already, which curious him to why his mommy didn’t woke him up for dinner. He begins to wonder if it was because his mommy is still very angry at him.

Turned toward the master bedroom seeing that it was closed, Jacky know that someone must be in there, or else it would be open as always. Quietly, he slowly opened the door just a slit to peek inside. Seeing that his mommy is asleep on the bed alone, Jacky quietly stepped up to her. Frowned seeing his mommy easily puffy eyes showing, Jacky leaned down to peck on Annie’s cheek. “I’m sorry for being bad,” he whispered and turned to tiptoe back out.

Annie was actually not asleep; she opened her eyes to saw her son walked away with the door closed behind him. A drop of her tear soaked her pillow.

Meanwhile, Jacky quickly walked to the living room. Standing few feet away from Julian, Jacky silently looked at him with uncertain eyes. Even though he know Julian is his father now, but Jacky couldn’t help but feel afraid that Julian would not want him the same way as before. In his mind, Jacky believes that Julian only loved him because of his mommy, so if they get into a fight, Julian probably wouldn’t want to be his daddy anymore. He always fears that this father-son relationship won’t be permanent.

Finally, noticing Jacky standing a distance from his right, Julian gave out a weak smile and gestured for Jacky to join him. Happy that his new daddy didn’t tell him to go away, Jacky quickly ran to sit right next to him on the sofa. “You wanted to watch ‘Chicken Little’ with me?” offered Julian with his arm swung around Jacky’s shoulder.

Nodding, Jacky replied, “Yes. Daddy, did mommy and you eat dinner already?”

Julian quickly looked toward the clock and was a bit surprise that it was almost seven already. Since they got home, Annie had hid herself in there bedroom and wouldn’t come out, while he sat in the living room pointlessly flipping through channels and being too stubborn to go in and check on her. “I didn’t realize it’s this late already, if you didn’t have brings it up. You must be starving. Daddy go orders a pizza for you, okay? Want pizza for dinner?” asked Julian.

Jacky nodded and asked before Julian gets a chance to walk away, “Daddy, what is cancer?” Stomped by his sudden question, Julian sat back down. Speechlessly, he looked at Jacky not knowing the best way to explain complicated matter like this. At the corridor silently watching them, Annie dropped her head knowing that this question will eventually surface. Seeing Julian not answering his question, Jacky explained, “When you and mommy were fighting in the car, I heard mommy say something about cancer. What’s that?”

Swallowed the hard lump of unease, Julian begin to explain, “Well, cancer is a disease.” Seeing Jacky winkled his forehead, Julian simplified, “An illness… What daddy meant is that it is like germs, but a very mean germ that is causing mommy a lot of pain and make mommy feel really sick.”

Nodding, Jacky asked, “Is that why mommy needed to see a doctor this morning? So she could get rid of this germ?”

“Well, yes and no. Jacky, cancer is a germ that is not easy to get rid off, especially the cancer that mommy is having. All the doctor can do is help mommy make the pain not as painful and make the cancer germ stay in one place and not spread to other place…”

“I don’t understand,” honestly stated Jacky.

“It’s okay to not understand. It’s very complicated, you’ll understand more when you get older,” winked Julian.

Nodding, Jacky asked, “Will mommy be okay, with the cancer germ living in her?”

“For now, yes,” replied Julian. He pulled Jacky in and pecked him on the head.

Curiously, Jacky rolled his eyes up to look at his daddy and asked, “What happen later?”

Paused in search of better words than ‘death’, Julian cuddled Jacky with his chin rested on his head and finally answered, “Mommy will then go to a very beautiful and peaceful place to wait for us.”

“Huh?” reacted Jacky with a puzzled look. He confusedly asked, “Why?”

“Because mommy deserves a beautiful place,” casually answered Julian with another peck on Jacky’s right temple.

Standing a distance behind them, Annie let out a weak smile to see them bonded so well with each other. Before their marriage, Annie had always worried that there will be a wall between them no matter how thin or transparent it is, especially since Julian was the only child in his family and never really been around kids, but now it seem like her concern was foolish. Hearing how Julian patiently explained to Jacky about her illness, made Annie felt assure that he will know how to take care of Jacky for her in the future. Touched by the scene of them cuddled in, Annie eyes watered with happy tears. Not wanting to disturb the father and son, she turned to head back into her room to decide whether or not she should tell Julian that she is pregnant or should she just wait until she get the genetic counseling report first?

Hearing her door closed, Julian swiftly glanced up. He sighed, knowing that something is really bothering her. How much he wishes she would tell him what’s bothering her. After turning ‘Chicken Little’ on for Jacky and ordered him a pizza over the phone, Julian bravely made his second attempt to find out what’s bothering Annie. He gently knocked on the door before he stepped in.

Sitting on their bed looking at their wedding album, Annie paused to look up at him. She smiled and patted beside her on the bed. Taken her offer, Julian settles down besides her, looking at the same page she is looking at, which is a photo of them in white. He chuckled at their foolish pose and Jacky looking so camera shy, hiding behind Annie. Turned to lovingly gaze at Annie without a blink, while she continues to flip through their wedding album, Julian suddenly apologized, “I’m sorry.”

Stopped looking at their wedding album, Annie glances up and looked into her husband genuine eyes. Looked deep into his dark brown eyes, Annie asked in a touched voice, “Why must you always apologize to me first, even when you did no wrong? Why do you spoil me in such way?”

“Because you’re my wife?” stated Julian with playful arched brows and a thin smile showing his faint dimples. “You remember how we first met?” he asked with his smile growing.

Nodding, Annie tilted up to gently peck her husband on the lips. She softly chuckled at herself and muttered, “How could I forget? It was so embarrassing.”

“True, it’s not everyday that I have a student kneel down and bowl to me,” teased Julian.

Rolled her eyes, Annie corrected, “I was rushing into class and tripped on someone’s backpack. Beside, I’m not your student. You’re just a guest speaker that came to my college for career day.”

“Being technical now?” playfully teased Julian with dreamy loving gaze. He then sweetly asked, “Remember that I apologized to you and what you said to me? You asked me why I’m apologizing when I did no wrong. The answer was because you are so beautiful. Well, you are the only one with long curly black hair out of the two hundred.” Annie eyed him with a ‘yeah right’ expression. Chuckled with a shrug, Julian confessed, “Okay, it was actually because I was too nervous talking in front of a big group of people. By the way, I still don’t understand why you cut your hair short after our first true date.”

Chuckled shortly, Annie faintly whispered with her palm on her husband’s cheek, “Sometime I wish you could love me less.” Paused for a while, she finally decided that Julian had the right to know. “Julian, we need to talk,” she informed.

Feeling the same doom as the last time when she told him the similar phrase and she end up telling him that she had cancer, Julian unnervingly looked at her with a nod and murmured, “I’m waiting.”

Nervous to his reaction, Annie requested, “Promise me not to over react and give us room to discuss about it.” He nodded to her. “I’m pregnant,” said Annie. Looking lost, Julian weren’t sure what he heard was right. He stared at Annie without a response. “I’m pregnant,” Annie repeated.

Julian didn’t know how he should response to this unexpected news, since it was just barely last night that they had proofed themselves wrong and now she is telling him that she is pregnant after all? Didn’t reply or looked at Annie, Julian gotten off their bed to pace around. Annie softly sighed, knowing that the news brings nothing but doom to her husband. The room was in total silent with the two of them thinking of the same issue.

Stopped pacing, Julian suddenly speak up, “We’ll go to the abortion clinic tomorrow.” She was about to protest, but her husband firmly added, “I can’t risk your life. I hope you understand.”

Gazing at her husband in tears, Annie reminded, “You promise that you’ll leave us room to discuss about it.”

“WHAT IS THERE TO DISCUSS!” scolded Julian, making Annie startled from his loudness. Seeing Jacky quickly ran to stand right at the doorway to their bedroom, Julian calmed himself and walked up to Jacky. He instructed, “Jacky, daddy and mommy needed to talk. Don’t worry, we won’t get mad at each other, and of course not you. Go finish your pizza and movie, alright?”

With eyes kept at his mommy, Jacky nodded but made no attempt to step away. Julian turned Jacky to face him. Jacky answered uncertainly, “Okay.” Slowly, he walked away.

Julian closed their bedroom door and turned to see Annie sitting on the end of their bed with eyes on him unmoved. She angrily commented, “How could you blame me for not wanting to tell you about it? See how you would react? There is never room for discussion.”

“Annie, you got to know that it’s impossible for you to keep this baby. Come on, you have to agree with me on this! How you wanted me to react? Be excited about this news, when I know that my wife wanted to give up her treatment for this child? I know you too well, Annie. I know you had wanted this baby. But how are you going to keep it without harming your health? Don’t tell me that Dr. Yip will let you continue with your radiation and chemotherapy even when you’re pregnant,” scoffed Julian. Remembering about her radiation therapy for today, his eyes enlarged and darted at her angrily asked, “You skipped today’s therapy, didn’t you?”

In tears, bended forward with elbow on her knees and hands covering her face, Annie whimpered, “All I wanted was to give you a daughter. We had tried everything to avoid pregnancy, but I still got pregnant, maybe it was heaven last gift to you and me…”

“Don’t drag heaven into this conversation; you’re never a religious person. And who say I needed a daughter?”

Looked into his eyes, Annie replied, “You did.” Before her husband protested, she warned, “Don’t lies, Julian.” She sighed and continued, “Julian, both you and I know that sooner or later you’ll have to learn to let me go. There is no cure for my cancer. Even if I go to treatment everyday for the rest of my life, my life will still be three years max.”

“So that gives you the reason to give up on yourself and me?”

“It’s three years of suffering, Julian. It’s three years of going to therapy, returning from it looking like a zombie, and throwing up in the middle of the night. Its’ three years of pain, not just from my spine, but also my heart from seeing you worry about me, seeing you hide your tears, and seeing you emptying your bank account to pay for my treatment. I can’t bares to live to the day where Jacky finally understand the true meaning of cancer and watches me suffer through it and slowly die in front of him. I don’t want anymore of my hair to fall off or to look skinner each day. It’s really hard to take this all in every single day. It’s day after day, Julian. And knowing that it will only get worst as I dragged my time. I know you really loved me, but you have to let go. Let me free to walk my path. Let me free to give you one last gift…”

Shaking his head, Julian refused to agree, “No.”

“I know that with your support and love, I’ll be able to carry our baby to full term. I promise you that once our baby is born, I’ll…”

“No, no, no! I can’t let you do this,” angrily declared Julain

“Why not?” asked Annie. Julian looked into her eyes pleading her to listen to him. With deep loving eyes and a gentle touch of her fingers on his cheek, Annie begged, “Please? Our baby is innocent and healthy, it deserve…”

“You don’t know that,” protested her husband.

“Alright, if she is then you’ll let me keep her? Dr. Yip had scheduled me an appointment to check our baby’s chromosomes tomorrow. You promise to let me choose my own path, if our baby is healthy? Please?” begged Annie, while her husband didn’t agree nor disagree.
………………….

[Yak]

Two weeks had passed by. A very long and lonesome two weeks for Annie and Julian. Ever since a week ago, when they had gotten the genetic report of their baby back knowing that they are having a daughter and that she is perfectly healthy, things had changed for the worst in this new family. Their home became empty and extra quiet, since for many evenings during the past week, Annie had spends it alone with only Jacky keeping her company. Now the night are filled with cartoon voices from the television rather than live conversations and laughter between Julian, Jacky, and her.

Even though Julian didn’t stop her from continuing her pregnancy, Annie knows that her husband is angry with her choice. Or else he wouldn’t purposely work extra long hours and made up excuses to not return home after work until late into the midnight. If he is not mad at her, then there is no reason for him to ignore her presence or avoid having any conversation with her to the point where he wouldn’t stay home to face her for longer than three minutes. If he is happy with her, he wouldn’t purposely get up early in the morning and left them home alone even when it was a weekend. Annie knows that he is trying to give her the silent treatment to make her changes her mind. Having these dreadful changes of hollowness throughout the morning and night, day after day, without her greatest support, Annie does begin to question her own decision.

Being in deep thought and being used to just being her and her son, even the sudden sound of the doorbell startled Annie’s to jump. She burned the back of her hand when she hit the boiling pot and knock it off the stove. The pot of boiling pasta made a loud crashing sound when it hit the kitchen’s tilt making a big splattered mess of Jacky’s macaroni spilling all over. The splatter of the boiling water burned Annie’s feet, making her quickly stepped back. She softly hissed in pain as she rubbed her redden right hand. The doorbell ring once again. “Jacky, can you help mommy get the door!” hollered Annie. She squatted down at the corner of her kitchen to gently rub her feet. She just wanted to cry seeing the big mess she made.

Jacky, who was enjoying his weekend cartoon as he draws, glanced up toward the main door. Wishing that it was his daddy returning from work to celebrate Father’s Day with him, Jacky quickly rushed to the door to open it. His excited expression was a bit washed off with disappointment when he realized that it was not Julian. Still happy to see the two that are like second parents to him, Jacky chuckled and charged up to give them a big hug as he greeted, “Uncle Louis, Aunty Jess!” Looked around, Jacky curiously asked, “Where is Nancy?”

Jumped out from behind her parents, the five years old girl cheerfully announced, “Here I am, Jacky!”

Excited, Jacky informed, “Nancy, I have new toys we can play with!”

“Really? I do too! Mommy brought me a new dolly…”

“I don’t want to play with doll! I’m a boy!” pouted Jacky.

“Daddy brought me a new coloring book,” offered Nancy.

“Is it Batman?”

“Nooo…”

“Superman? Spiderman? Fantastic Fours?” wishfully asked Jacky, while Nancy shook her head with a sad little frown to why Jacky would want those ugly coloring book.

Meanwhile Jessica and Louis just watches them interact with soft chuckle. “Kiddo, we are not transparent up here,” playfully informed Louis. Finally looked up at the two adults, Jacky grinned. “I almost thought you didn’t want to see us,” teased Louis as he playfully pushed Jacky on the forehead and picked him up to swing him up high. “Boy, what had you been eating? You felt like you doubled your weight,” commented Louis. Jacky giggled and laughed with joy to see them.

Excited, Jessica requested, “Really? Let me see! Hand him over.” Carrying Jacky and moving away from his wife’s reach, Louis teasingly kept shaking his head to her. “Louis! Give him to me, now!” ordered Jessica with a growl. From the four years that they had been taken care of Jacky so Annie can go get her degree, both Louis and Jessica had treated Jacky like their own son.

“Nope, Jacky is my little boy! If you want one of your own, than you know what you could do,” hinted Louis, who had always wanted a second child, but Jessica refuse to go through pregnancy again. He playfully turned to Jacky and instructed, “Tell Aunty Jess if you are her baby boy or not.”

“I’m not a baby!” chuckled Jacky along with Louis while Jessica rolled her eyes at the two immature.

Squatted down to lift her daughter up, Jessica restored, “Humph, who need a boy when there is such an adorable daughter? Right, sweeties?”

Nodding, Nancy replied, “Ah huh, girl is better! Daddy’s mean, always liking boys more!” She stuck her tongue out at her daddy and Jacky.

“Because girls whine and cry too much,” commented Jacky with a disgusted look.

Laughed at them, Jessica scolded her husband, “See what you done to them?

“Daddy was only kidding sweetheart. I wouldn’t trade you for anyone,” explained Louis as he leaned in to peck his daughter on the cheek and his wife too.

“Jacky, where is your mommy and daddy?” asked Jessica, while Louis looked a bit concern, since he had frequently seen Julian at the pub lately.

“Mommy say daddy had to work today. Mommy is in the kitchen cooking lunch,” answered Jacky with laughter as he continues to tries irritate Louis by messing with his hair, while Nancy giggled with amuse.

“Work on a Sunday?” asked Jessica in disbelieve as they walked toward the kitchen.

Nodding with a pout, Jacky stated, “Yeah, daddy had been really busy with work for many days. I hadn’t seen him for many days.”

The husband and wife frowned at each other knowing that something is going on between the newly-wed, since when Louis went to the pub to hang out with his buddies, he had seen Julian there all the time. He had tried to talk to Julian to find out what’s going on, but Julian wouldn’t tell him a thing and all he did there was to drink himself to drunken stage. Worried about them, Louis had told Jessica about it and they had decided to pay Annie a visit to make sure everything is alright between them.

When they got to the kitchen, the two adult eyes widened, while the two children dropped their jaw at the mess in the kitchen. Seeing Annie squatted down in the corner of the kitchen sobbing, Jessica dropped her daughter down and rushed over to Annie. “What happened?” asked Jessica. Annie just wiped her eyes dry and gazed at them without a word. How much she wishes that it was her husband that had returned to console her emotion.

Placed Jacky down, Louis instructed the two kids, “Don’t step in here, I don’t want you two to slip and fall. Go play in the living room.” After telling them, Louis headed over to Annie and his wife. He grabs Annie swollen and reddens hand and worriedly asked, “You burned yourself?” Annie nodded silently, while gazed at her best friend, whom is protective of her like a big brother.

“Mommy, does it hurt?” asked Jacky worriedly from the doorway of the kitchen, both Nancy and him stood there to watch.

Meanwhile Jessica went to turn off the stove; Louis is inspecting Annie’s hand carefully. When he notices a small area of her foot is red and swollen too. He sighed with a shake of his head and commented, “You need to be more careful next time.” Once again, Annie silently nodded with tears in her eyes. “Where is he?” Louis offensively questioned in a protective manner. Tears just came out of Annie’s eyes. She quickly leaned in and tightly hugged Louis to cry on his shoulder.

Squatted back down to face Annie, Jessica caringly asked, “Is there some problem between you two? Louis had been seeing Julian down at the bar quite often lately. Is there anything that we can do to help you two?”

Shaking her head, Annie switched over to hug Jessica tightly. She closed her eyes and sobbed to release her stress. Frowning not knowing what to do, Jacky stood there in silent with worry eyes at his mommy, while Nancy too felt bad. Jacky didn’t know that his mommy is this unhappy. Both Jessica and Louis looked at each other and back to Annie. They didn’t want to force Annie to talk when she don’t feel like sharing. While Jessica softly consoled Annie, Louis went to grab a large bow of ice water to help Annie soak her injured hand and applied ointment on it. After cleaning up the mess, Louis walked Jacky and Nancy out to the living room, so Jessica can used the time to calm Annie.

“Feeling much better now?” asked Jessica.

Annie nodded and sincerely whispered, “Thanks Jess.”

“Don’t be silly, we’re supposed to look after each other. Hope we aren’t intruding…”

“No, of course not,” assured Annie. “You had no plan for today?” asked Annie.

Laughed, Jessica replied, “You know, I consider visiting my best friend a mighty good weekend plan. Nancy said she missed you.”

Annie softly chuckled, “She is such a sweetheart. I bet our daughter will be the same too.” She sighed and gently felt her abs.

“You’re pregnant!” excitedly blurted Jessica. Annie nodded with a frown, wishing that her husband first reaction was like Jessica. Confused to why Annie aren’t too happy about it, Jessica puzzlingly exclaimed, “Don’t tell me Julian don’t like kid. But that don’t make sense, I saw how he interact with Jacky.”

“He does, but he just doesn’t want me to be pregnant…”

“What?” asked Jessica. Annie loudly sighed and glanced out toward the living room. Getting the cue, Jessica changed the topic, “Well, Louis is addicted to golfing lately and he wanted to drop by the mall to pick up some golf stuff, so I asked him to drop me off here. You don’t mind having me here bothering you, right?” Annie shook her head. “Lets go out, I think he is about to go.” Walked out of the kitchen, Jessica cued her husband, “Louis, you should go pick up your golf stuff, dear. You know before it gets dark.” She eyed her husband to get off his behind.

“Golf?” mouthed Louis to Jessica, while she repeatedly gave him small nods. “Golf, okay,” exclaimed Louis, wondering why on earth his wife would pick this excuse out of so many. Holding his daughter’s hand, Louis insisted, “Come on Nancy, let go help daddy out. Annie, can Jacky come along to help me too?”

“Yay!” cheered Jacky, while Annie nodded with eyes looking at the two of them, knowing that Jessica purposely kicked her husband and the kids out of the flat, so they can chat.

“So, can you tell me what’s going on now?” asked Jessica patiently. Annie told her everything. She told her about her cancer, which shocked Jessica speechlessly. Now Jessica understands why Julian wouldn’t want Annie to keep their baby. Jessica can also understand why Annie would want to risk her life for the baby, since after all she won’t live very long, but their child could. Understandingly, Jessica listened and allowed Annie all the time to share everything that had been cooped up in her heart. She allowed Annie a chance to release her emotion and given Annie the support she needed.
………………..

At four, Louis returns to pick his wife up at Annie. They had booked a table for three to celebrate Father’s Day having a seafood feast. During the drive to the restaurant that is more than an hour away, Jessica had told Louis everything that Annie had told her, about her cancer, her baby, and that Julian was angry with Annie decision and had ignored her for the past week or so. After hearing it, Louis hotheadedly made a U-turn to the pub instead.

Pulled his car up in front of the pub, Louis instructed, “They won’t let Nancy in, you stay here with her. I’ll go knock some sense into that fool.” With that he swiftly gotten out of the car and charged into the pub, before Jessica get a chance to protest.

Growled at her hot-tempered husband, Jessica turned to her daughter and asked, “Daddy look like he is going to kill somebody doesn’t he?” With big widen eyes, Nancy repeatedly nodded with certainty. “We have to go in to stop him, before he gets arrested on Father’s Day,” said Jessica, as she quickly helped her daughter out and carried her into the pub.

A guard stopped them when they stepped into the pub. “Sorry ma’am, no kid allow,” he explained, while Jessica peeked around for her husband.

Jessica finally saw Louis and he is heading up to Julian, who didn’t see him coming from behind. “Louis, no!” yelled Jessica, while Nancy alertly looked toward Louis direction and saw her daddy yanked Uncle Julian arm to turn him around. “I’m sorry, but I have to go in to stop my husband,” urgently said Jessica, as she quickly shoved the guard’s arm away and ran in as fast as possible trying to stop her foolish husband.

In the meantime, Louis grabbed Julian’s collar to pull him upright and gave Julian a hard punch across his cheekbone. Julian crushed into the bar’s counter knocking off his tonic. Nancy eyes quickly widened in disbelieve to actually witness her father hit someone right up close. “How could you treat Annie this way?” scolded Louis inflamingly. The customers at the pub nosily gathered around to watch.

“Louis knocks it off!” warned Jessica as she dropped her daughter so she can pull her husband back by his elbow. “Why are you always so hot tempered?” growled Jessica with great displease.

Angrily darted at Julian, Louis grumbled, “What kind of man are you to ignore your wife the entire week and hide here to get drunk? If you haven’t knows she had been crying a lot. She looked so pale and depressed! Are you a man to make her continue to suffer like this? You’re lucky to have a wife like her that is willing to risk her own life to give you a child! My wife wouldn’t consider of getting pregnant again…” He felt a hard whack on the back of his head. When he turned around toward the one that hit him, Louis saw his wife large hard eyes at him along with her stern angry expression. “Was what I say wrong!” he yelled as he rubbed the back of his head. “I just wanted him to stop being a fool and treat Annie better!”

“You could do it in a much calmer way,” stated Jessica with disappointment.

Steadying himself back up right, Julian shoved Louis to the floor. He grabbed Louis on the collar and yelled, “Do you think I really wanted her to have an abortion? That baby is my child! But if she doesn’t die, Annie will! I much rather my wife live longer! We are only married for three months…” With tears in his eyes, Julian voice weaken as he continued, “I don’t want it to end, this quickly. Do you understand?”

“Uncle Julian, let daddy go,” cried Nancy as she tries to push Julian away.

Not wanting her daughter to get hurt, Jessica quickly pulled Nancy aside and tries to break up the two grown men. “Both of you calm down now!” she loudly ordered.

The guard helped her separate the two. “Break it off! If you two wanted to fight, take it outside,” warned the guard. He turned to Jessica and warned, “And ma’am your daughter can’t be in here.”

Ignoring the guard, Jessica tries to explain, “Julian, I know you love Annie and just wanted to protect her. But had you think that what Annie needed most now is your support, not this. Why can’t you understand why she wanted this child so badly? You should know why. Instead of trying to think for her and force her to do what you think is best for her, why don’t you just seriously listen to her need? Do you understand her feeling? You’re asking her to kill her own child that is perfectly healthy. She knows that she have cancer and might die anytime soon. To her, this baby is like a part of her that can be by your side longer to help her love you and keep you company. How can you turn on her like this when she choose to protect your child? Louis is right; it took Annie a lot of courage to stick to her decision. Don’t forces her to change her decision, or she will regret to the day she die. Do you really want her to die with regret? If you want her to be truly happy, then let her decide for herself.”

Julian released Louis and went back to sit in his stool at the bar counter. Louis yelled at him, “If you really love her, than make her happy rather than miserable each day! She burned her hand this afternoon, if you still have the heart to care about her, go home to take care of her. If you hadn’t forgotten, today is Father’s Day. You had promised Jacky to celebrate it with him. This is his first Father’s Day with a father, don’t disappoint him. Both Annie and Jacky are waiting for you at home.” Seeing Julian showing little to no response to them, Louis growled, “I’m not going to waste my time here on you and ruin my own Father’s Day. You think carefully if you wanted Annie to be happy from now on, or continue to cry because of you.” Turned to lift his daughter up into his arms, Louis said, “Let’s go Jess. He’ll know what to do if he truly loves Annie.” They walked out, leaving Julian behind at the bar. Frustrated, Julian ordered another round of alcohol.
……………

[Yak]

Sitting on a tall wooden stool in the kitchen, Jacky placed his two elbows on top of the kitchen counter and supported his jaw with his two palms. He pouted in displease as he watches his mommy making two turkey sandwich. Trying to cheer her son up, Annie promised, “We’ll bake cookie afterward okay? Don’t be so unhappy.”

“Daddy promised to come home, so I could celebrate Father’s Day with him,” grumbled Jacky unhappily. “Why are we having turkey sandwich for dinner? Aren’t we making daddy’s favorite steak and red potatoes? Mommy, aren’t you going to bake daddy a cake?” asked Jacky, who is not able to understand what’s going on between his parents, lately.

Annie softly replied, “Daddy won’t be home tonight…”

“How come daddy is always not home lately?” asked Jacky. “I haven’t seen him for a long long time,” stressed Jacky.

“Daddy has to work…”

“But it’s Father’s Day! Uncle Louis didn’t have to work. Nancy gets to celebrate with him. I thought this year would be different…”

Glanced over seeing her son disappointedly dropped his head, Annie urged, “Come on, let not pout anymore. Jacky be a good boy and help mommy take these two plates of sandwich out. I’ll get the drink.”

With a dragged sigh, Jacky did as he was told. After he placed their dinner on the dinning table, the doorbell suddenly sounded, making Jacky quickly gave his full attention to the door. Knowing that it wouldn’t be Louis and Jessica, since they just left an hour ago, Jacky excitedly ran to open the door for his daddy, but once again he was disappointed. He pouted and beamed his round eyes up at the two older adults, who are formally dressed.

After a long while of staring without a greeting, the middle age woman sighed with a shake of her head in displease. “What kind of manner has your mother teach you? Don’t you know how to greet people when you open the door?” stated the mid-fifty-years-old woman.

Offended, Jacky glared at her. The husband of the middle-age woman looked down at the child with his stone looking expression. He didn’t say a word and found no reason to do so.

Thinking that it was Julian, Annie hurried out, but she realized it was not her husband when she recognized the voices of her mother-in-law. It was then that it finally hit her that two weeks ago she had insisted her husband to invite his parents over to celebrate Father’s Day. There was so many things happened between then and now that she had totally forgotten about it. She bet even Julian forgotten about it. Stepped up to stand behind Jacky with her hands on his shoulders, Annie respectfully greeted, “Mom, dad. Jacky, greet grandpa and grandma.”

Pouting, Jacky just hid behind Annie and wouldn’t open his mouth to talk. He knows that they didn’t like him or his mommy, so he doesn’t want to like them either. Shaking her head at her son’s behavior, Annie apologized, “Sorry. He is not in a very good mood today.”

“It’s alright,” stated her father-in-law plainly in his deep voice, since he much rather Jacky not call him grandpa.

Glanced inside seeing two sandwiches sitting on the dinning room table, her mother-in-law asked, “You do know that Julian invited us over for Father’s…”

“Yes, of course,” replied Annie. She apologized again and invited, “I’m sorry. Please come on in.” She stepped aside to hold the door wide open and let her in-laws in.

Seeing that his suppose grandparents had entered their flat, Jacky tugged on Annie’s hand for attention. “Mommy, why are they here?” he whispered.

“Shh…” hushed Annie. She warned, “Don’t be rude okay? They are daddy’s parents.”

“They don’t like us,” growled Jacky softly, since he had hated their first dinner together. The two made him felt unwelcome back then, when Julian took them over to meet them before the wedding. Jacky remembered that they weren’t exact happy to see him wandered around their house and touching their stuff.

“Jacky,” warned Annie with stern eyes. Jacky dropped his head and pouted with his arms folded. Annie sighed, not knowing what to do now. She didn’t prepare to cook any big meal today. Her son had been unhappy the entire afternoon. Her husband is not home and probably won’t be home until around midnight. And now her in-laws are here expecting a great feast. Not to mention that her hand is still in pain from this afternoon burn. Squatted down, to tilt her son’s chin up to face her, Annie smiled and requested, “Help mommy out okay? Don’t pout anymore. You can go watch TV if you don’t want to talk, but you can’t be rude to them, okay?” Seeing Annie looked at him seriously, Jacky nodded. Smiled at him, Annie pulled him in and pecked him on the forehead.

“Annie, where is Julian?” asked her mother-in-law after looked around the flat and realized her son is no where to be found.

“Julian…” Annie weakly stumbled and finally lied, “I forgot something important for tonight dinner, so he went to the market to help me buy it.” She saw her in-law curiously looking at the two plates of turkey sandwich on the dinning room table. Annie quickly explained, “I was worrying that you two would be hungry during the wait. So I prepared some sandwich…”

“This much? We’ll be fully stuff,” laughed her mother-in-law, while Annie sheepishly smiled.

Deep down, Annie is scolding her husband for disappearing on her like this. “Well, at least have some, since dinner will need about two more hours,” said Annie as she gazed at the clock seeing that it’s perfectly five. “I better go into the kitchen to check on the food,” said Annie with the easiest excuse that pops into her head. Calmly, she quickly walked into her kitchen and closed the door. Jacky tattled along, since he didn’t want to be outside alone with his two supposedly grandparents.

Paced around in the kitchen not knowing what to do, Annie panicked. She then remembered that she did have some frozen lamb chop in the freezer that she could quickly cook up. Pulled her son’s hands away from holding onto the hem of her blouse from behind her, Annie squatted down to pleaded, “Jacky, could you please go outside? They won’t bite. Mommy really needs to work fast and cook up something.”

“Nooo…” dreaded Jacky.

“Please? Go keep them company, or they’ll come in and find out that mommy didn’t cook anything yet. Come on, go out. Mommy going to call daddy and get him home immediately. You help mommy by entertaining them… Come on, please? You can at least turn the TV on and let them watch something. Come on be a good boy,” pushed Annie. She turned her son toward the door.

Slumps his shoulders, Jacky walked out of the kitchen and found the two grandparents figure looking at him. Listening to Annie, he walked over to turn the TV on and picked the Chinese opera channel, since he saw in series that old people like those annoying sound. He then looked at them and turned to look at the sofa, hoping they understand that he wanted them to sit on the sofa.

While the grandma sighed with folded arms and turned away with disinterest, the grandpa just looked at Jacky with his stone looking face that seem like it never learned how to smile before. Bravely, Jacky stepped up to him and pulled on his hand, trying to walk him toward the sofa. Without a spoken word, Julian’s father walked and allowed Jacky to direct him. Once Jacky got to the sofa, he looked up at this intimidating old man and then darted his eyes at the sofa. Seeing that the grandpa still hadn’t sat down, Jacky glanced up at the grandpa again with his eyes becoming stern with question.

Softly, cleared his throat, the grandpa unfolded his arms and unbuttoned the last two buttons of his suit to sat down on the sofa facing the TV. He can’t believe that being a successful retired business man like him would actually come to a day where he would sit down to watch an old fashion black and white Chinese opera that a six-years-old had insisted.

Being successful with the grandpa, Jacky turned to his next target. Gathered his courage, he walked up to the grandma, who was wandering around the flat looking at the small apartment and didn’t realize him from behind. Jacky quickly stepped to stand in front of her, but she didn’t glance down to look at him. Needing her attention, Jacky patted on her arm. She stepped back from his touch and finally looked down into Jacky’s eyes. Knowing that he had got her attention, Jacky turned over to dart his eyes toward the TV, gesturing her to go over and join the grandpa.

Scoffed a half laugh, the grandma stated, “No thanks.” Pouted, Jacky darted at her demandingly. She darted back at him and commented, “It’s not polite to stare at people like this.” Jacky just harden his stare into a glare. The grandma rolled her eyes and turned around to ignore him. This time, Jacky reached to grab her arm. She quickly pushed Jacky hand off and sighed with a growl, “Alright, alright, just don’t touch me.” With a shake of her head at Jacky, she walked toward her husband and settled down to watch the dreadful ancient TV program.

Finally satisfied that he had accomplished the mission his mommy sent him to do, Jacky resigned himself to a corner of the living room where his toy bin are located. He played there and every once in a while he would glance toward them to make sure they are still sitting there and not going anywhere near the kitchen.

In the meantime, the grandma did take a glance toward Jacky and commented to her husband, “Tsk, tsk, I don’t understand what our son is thinking of. I can’t believe he would give up Yuen’s daughter for this girl and her son. If she is such a wonderful girl like Julian said she is, then she wouldn’t get herself pregnant when she is still a teenager. If she is a responsible loving mother like Julian said, then she wouldn’t leave her son behind for four years to go oversea to attach herself to Julian. Schooling, sure, see if she could find anyone ignorance enough to believe her. If Julian would of return two years ago like he promised, he and Yuen’s daughter would have been happily married and became a father of two sons already, rather than just pretending to be someone else father.”

Hearing what the grandma is whispering about, Jacky stopped playing with his toy. He didn’t turn around to face them, but he could imagine how they despite his mommy and him. With his back facing them, he dropped his head and frowned as he felt small in front of them. He really doesn’t like what she is saying about his mommy and this feeling that he is experiencing.

Meanwhile the grandpa softly growled with displease for his wife to bring back the past. Julian’s father was really angry with Julian back then for breaking off the arranged marriage between him and his business partner’s daughter. His father had expected them to get married, since Julian and the daughter of his best friend grew up together and seems to be in love. He can’t believe that his son would call off the wedding at last minute and do so over a long distance phone, rather than personally returned to settle matter down better. He growled and scoffed, “Must you bring this up again?”

“What I’m saying is the truth,” argued his wife.

Sternly, Julian’s father exclaim, “He has chosen and married her already. There is no reason to bring it up and make everyone uncomfortable.”

“Like you accepted her as your daughter-in-law,” stated his wife.

“Accepted or not, she is,” calmly replied the grandpa to end his wife complaint. He felt something poking him uncomfortably. Scooted away, he found a toy figurine sandwiched between the sofa cushions that he was sitting on top off.

Scoffed a laugh, the grandma sneered, “See how clean and organize your daughter-in-law is?” Glanced around the place with dislike, she continued, “Look at those toys lying everywhere. Wonder what she does all day long. She didn’t even plan to go find a job, even with a degree. Not like she have a baby to take care of. Talk about lazy. One day Julian will realize he had made a mistake. Maybe then he will finally realize he don’t really love her and decide to leave them.”

Growled, Jacky finally couldn’t take it anymore. He charged up to them and glared at them angrily. Snatched his batman back from the grandpa, he grumbled, “My mommy do clean up! Mommy is not lazy! She stays home to take care of ME!” Angrily, Jacky dashed around the living room to pick up his toys and throw them all back into his toy bin, while the two grandparents watches him stomping around like an angry dinosaur. Julian’s father eyed his wife with displease and shook his head at her for being a loud mouth. After Jacky is done picking up his toys, he turned to dart at them and declared, “Stop picking on mommy or I’ll turn off your TV!”

Surprised by his outburst, the two grandparents stare at Jacky with disapproval eyes. Finally, the grandma breaks into laughter at Jacky’s threat. Feeling bullied, Jacky quickly ran toward the kitchen with his eyes watered. He charged into the kitchen and slammed the door shut, making Annie quickly turned over to see him standing behind the door with tears down his cheek. Surprised, Annie speechlessly looked at Jacky wondering what happened. Glanced up seeing his mommy through his watery eyes, Jacky ran up to hug his mommy on the waist. “They are mean!” cried Jacky.

Turned the stove that was sautéing lamb chop to a low setting, Annie removed her son and squatted down to face him. “What happen?” she lovingly asked as she dried Jacky tears away.

“She said lots of mean things! She say mommy don’t clean up and that mommy are lazy and wouldn’t find a job. I’m sorry that I left my toys out,” apologized Jacky with soft round eyes looking at his mommy.

Chuckled, Annie assured, “Its okay. Don’t cry anymore okay? Like mommy, your eyes puff up easily too.” The reason she didn’t find a job was because Julian prefer her not to, since he wanted her to take care of her health first and also since his pay was enough for them to live comfortably.

“Mommy,” said Jacky with a pause, before he seriously asked, “Is it true that daddy is leaving us?”

Puzzled, Annie asked, “Why would you think so?”

“She said that daddy will not love us one day and he will leave…” softly informed Jacky. He then whispered, “Daddy hasn’t been home for many days. Mommy, did you call daddy to come home? Is he coming home?”

Sighed, Annie honestly informed, “Daddy didn’t pick up his phone. I wish he did too.” Jacky pouted with redden eyes, feeling that what the grandma had said was right. Annie assured, “Daddy is not home doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love us, sweetheart. Yes, mommy and daddy get into some disagreement lately.”

“What disagreement?”

“You won’t understand until you get older,” said Annie. Jacky pouted with annoyance to that same old phrase that adults like to use on him. “Jacky, not everyone in this world would love mommy the same way you and daddy does, but mommy don’t care, since you two are the only one that mommy value. What other say can’t hurt mommy, so you don’t have to worry about me being sad, okay?” informed Annie. Jacky sadly nodded. Annie gave him a tight hug and apologized, “I’m sorry that mommy made you this unhappy.”

“Mommy, didn’t,” said Jacky confusedly to what his mommy meant. “Daddy is not coming home for dinner?”

Sighed, Annie got back up to turn off her stove. “No, he won’t,” said Annie with a hint of anger.
…………….

[Yak]

An hour later, Jacky helped Annie set the table. Beside the lamb chop, Annie had made some mash potatoes out of ready mix in a box and heated up a bowl of canned corn with butter. She also cooked some vegetable soup and baked some frozen rolls.

Joining her at the dinning area, her mother-in-law curiously looked at the food and asked, “You always cook American food?”

“Only on special occasion,” answered Annie slyly. Special occasion meant where everything must be done in an hour using the easiest cooking method, Annie thought to herself. Pulled the chair at the head of the table out, Annie insisted with respect, “Dad, please sit here.” Nodded, her father-in-law took the seat without comment.

“Annie dear, where is Julian? He has been gone for awfully long. Which market did you sent him to?” asked her mother-in-law as she settled into the chair next to her husband.

“Julian… He…” Annie hesitated with her reply.

“Daddy has to work,” Jacky helped.

The grandpa looked at Jacky with confused brows. Surprised, the grandma asked, “Work? It’s a Sunday, child. What’s going on?” She turned to her husband, who turned to look at Annie for an answer. Julian’s mother suspiciously looked at Annie and asked, “Annie?”

A bit displeased with her husband absent, Annie flatly explained, “Julian won’t be home for dinner tonight. Excuse me. I need to remove the rolls from the oven before they get burn.” She swiftly walked into the kitchen, not wanting to explain any further than needed.

“Won’t be home? What you meant by that?” demanded her mother-in-law, whom scooted her chair out to go after Annie. She headed into the kitchen to see Annie pretending to be busy over the oven. Stepped up to Annie, she demanded, “What’s going on between Julian and you?”

Avoiding eye contact, Annie continues to move about the kitchen looking busy gathering dinner. Trying her best to keep her voice as calm as possible, Annie replied with a certain degree of respect, “Mom, we are fine. Nothing happen.”

“Don’t lie to me,” firmly stated her mother-in-law. Hearing the unpleasant tone, Jacky got off his chair and went into the kitchen. He stepped in between them. Julian’s father also came in, since he would rather not celebrate Father’s Day than to let his wife cause a dramatic event. “Did you two get into a fight? What is this about? Where exactly is he now?” demanded the mother-in-law.

“If you must know, he is in some pub rather than home,” exclaimed Annie with flame building up, but she suppressed her voice from yelling disrespectfully as much as she could. Her eyes quickly watered at the thought of Julian.

With harsh eyes, her mother-in-law sternly scolded, “How dare you use that tone…”

Reached to hold his wife elbow, Julian’s father said in his usual calm low voice, “Let go home.” Glanced up at her father-in-law, Annie looked lost and guilty that she can’t satisfy them to a peaceful meal.

“Go home?” asked his wife in surprise and widen eyes on him in disbelieve. “Don’t you want to know…”

“Whatever it’s, they know how to take care of it themselves,” firmly stated the grandpa with warning eyes telling his wife not to be too controlling.

Hearing the sound of the front door opening, Jacky happily exclaimed, “It must be daddy!” He hurried his way out of the kitchen, while the three adults became silent and seems to stop all movement. “Daddy, you’re home!” they heard Jacky hollered and cheered. “Daddy, your mommy is being mean to my mommy,” tattletale Jacky with a pout.

Surprised, Julian asked, “Grandma is here?” Pouting, Jacky nodded firmly. “I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding,” assured Julian.

Finally willing to drop the subject, the mother-in-law walked out of the kitchen to greet her son. Julian’s father followed behind, but stopped at the kitchen doorway to glance back in. He saw Annie softly hissed under her breath as she speedily continues to pretend she is busy with the kitchen with her back facing him.

Being hold by Julian, Jacky sniffed and quickly pinched his nose as he commented, “Daddy, you smell funny.”

Knowing the smell of alcohol too well, Julian’s mother shakes her head at her son. “Julian, how much had you been drinking?” asked the mother. Seeing her son had a bruised right cheek, she gasped and exams it closer. She demanded, “What happen to you? Who dare to hit you?” Hearing that from the kitchen, Annie begins to work in a more hasty fast way to relief her temper from building up. Julian’s father saw her quickly wiped her eyes and continued to make more noises as she moved the dishes back and forth.

“I’m fine mom,” answered Julian dully. Seeing the dinning table of food, he insisted, “Go, go sit down for dinner.”

Stepped up to his son, the grandpa looked into his son eyes with a bit of flame. He firmly instructed, “Go in and help your wife. You’re the one who chosen this path. You are a husband and a father now, so be one.”

“Why on earth are you scolding our son for…”

With blazing eyes on his wife warningly, Julian’s father exclaimed, “It’s having a mother like you that taught him to be so irresponsible. He have his own family now, he need to learn how to take responsibility of his own family role. What time in the day is it now to be coming home smelling all drunk and beaten up?” Looked at his son with his stern expression, the father lectured, “You were very irresponsible once when you decided to cancel your wedding at the last minute. Do you understand why I was angry with you back then? Not because you decided to marry someone else, it’s because you didn’t have the gut to even return to take care of the mess you left behind.”

“Dad…”

Daunted, Julian’s mother protested, “What had gotten…”

Beamed his fierce eyes on his wife, he ordered, “Enough!” Displease with her husband yelling at her like this, Julian’s mother walked off to sit herself down on the dinning table not saying another word. Julian’s father turned to his son and warned, “You let me finish.” Looked at Jacky in the eyes and back to his son, he continued, “I don’ t know what’s going on between you and your wife, and I do not wanted to know. All I wanted you to know is that since you had chosen to marry her, you have the duty to take care of her. And when he called you ‘daddy’ and you answered to it, than you owed to him to be a good father. Not one that go out and get himself drunk and into fight! You understand me?”

Nodded, Julian replied, “Yes.” Julian looked at his father, surprised that his father would actually tell him to take good care of Annie and Jacky. Julian thought his father will always disapprove their marriage, since he had destroyed his father’s relationship with his best friend by canceling the wedding.

Looked at Jacky, the grandpa instructed, “Child get down; let your father go in to help your mother.”

Getting his father’s hint, Julian putted Jacky down on the floor, and heading toward the kitchen. Seeing the intimidating old grandpa looking at him, Jacky quickly ran after Julian, not wanting to be out there alone. Julian’s father quickly places his large firm hand onto Jacky’s shoulder to stop him from going after Julian. Pouted, Jacky darted at the grandpa. “Come child, come with me,” instructed the grandpa, who had slide his large hand down to hold Jacky small hand and walking him to the dinning table. Jacky looked up at his and his grandpa’s hand as he walked. A strange warm feeling grew in him that made him felt a bit happy inside. As they walk, Jacky glanced up at the old intimidating man and gulped nervously, but looked back at their hands again, a small smile slowly spread on his face. He had never has a grandpa, who hold his hand before and he is starting to like this warm feeling.

Meanwhile, Julian had stepped into the kitchen to see Annie busying herself with only her back facing him. He knows that she know he is there, but she is ignoring him and seem really angry with him. “Annie…”

Banged a skillet that was in her hand hard onto the stove top, Annie inflamingly warned in an icy tone, “I’m busy Mr. Cheung. Please step out of my kitchen.”

Closed the kitchen’s door behind him, Julian stepped up to Annie and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist from behind. Annie tries to wiggle her way out, but he wouldn’t let her. “I’m sorry,” sincerely apologized Julian.

Smelling the sickening scene of alcohol on her husband, made Annie even more inflamed. Slightly turned to blaze her hot steamy eyes at her husband, Annie bitterly informed, “I’m sorry too, that I don’t serve alcohol here. You’ll have to return to your pub to get that. By now, you probably earned yourself a free night to drink all you wanted at that pub.”

“Annie…” dragged Julian voice softly.

“Let go of me,” softly warned Annie. Julian listens and released her. She stepped aside to scrub the counter hard to release her anger.

“Don’t overwork your hand, you just injured it this afternoon,” reminded Julian, while Annie wonder how he knew about it. Stepped back, Julian silently watches his wife. He knows that whatever he said now she will just ignore. Therefore he allow her to get rid of all her displease by scrubbing and banging kitchen accessories, thinking that it’ll be easier to talk to her after she relieved all of it first. Growled, Annie turned wanting to go scrub the oven, but she slipped on a puddle of water on the floor tile. Julian quickly caught her and tightly held her in his arms. Annie darted at him to release his tight grip. Her stern cold eyes weaken a bit when she finally saw his bruised right cheek, but she quickly pushed her weak heart aside and harden her expression again. Steadied Annie upright, Julian softly reminded, “Be careful, you’re pregnant now.”

“Isn’t your whole purpose of ignoring me for the entire week, so I would change my mind and get rid of our baby? Wouldn’t it be your dream comes true if I slip and had a miscarriage? So why would you care so much?” cried Annie.

“Annie!” said Julian in a warning tone. Annie suddenly pressed against her side and seems to be in pain. Urgently, Julian asked with anxious eyes and hand on her flat belly, “Don’t scare me like this. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Our daughter won’t let you win, that easily. I’m just starving,” explained Annie as she pushed his hand away from her belly.

“Why didn’t you eat something first?” grumbled Julian caringly, while his wife glared at him for daring to ask her that question when he sees that his parents are outside. Gulped, Julian softens his tone and begged, “I know, I’m wrong for walking out on you like this. Jessica is right I shouldn’t be so selfish and not think of your feeling. I didn’t give us a chance to discuss about it. Even though I understand what you want, I still push it aside. All I did was tried every way to force you into doing what I believe was right for you. I’m so turning into my father… When I was growing up, I had always hated how controlling my father was on what he believe was best for me. I had swear, I won’t be like that, and now, here I am, doing the same thing to you.” His voice trailed off as he looked deep into Annie’s eyes. Tenderly, he pleaded, “I’m sorry for hurting you in such way. I only wished for you to… I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me just this once, please?”

“You’re so unfair Mr. Cheung, you get mad at me for winning,” whispered Annie with a frown. Gently, she reached up to touch her husband’s bruised right cheekbone.

Julian whispered back, “Annie, I would give anything, if you could win your biggest battle.”

“I’m sorry,” mouthed Annie with tears drowning her eyes. “I know you love me and did what you did because you cared for me, but yet I’m angry with you and being so mean…”

Wiping her thin tear away for her, Julian chuckled in relief that she is no longer mad at him. Pecked her forehead, he apologized, “I’m the one that should say sorry for ignoring you like that over the week.” He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her, to embrace her sorrow. “Lets not said sorry ever again. We had been abusing that word for far too much. Louis is right; I should make your days happy from now on. I should not waste any of my time being stuck back in time trying to change things, because I’ll be wasting your time too. So let not think back. We’ll just focus on our future, our happiness, and our baby…”

Pressed her lips tightly, while her tears is spilling uncontrollably, Annie nodded repeatedly in great relief that she finally have her husband’s support back. “I missed you so much,” cried Annie. Sniffed her tears, Annie let out a soft chuckle as she gently rubbed his bruised cheekbone and knowingly asked, “Its’ Louis huh?”

Nodding, Julian helped her dried her tears once again. He semi-seriously joked, “Should we sue him? We do need lots of money for baby diapers and formula.” Laughed, Annie eyes tears up more. Julian laughed at her and commented, “You had been abusing your tears too much too. Promise me you’ll keep yourself happy and won’t shred a tear again, well unless I started it, then you can.”

Chuckled, Annie mumbled in between tears, “You’re always so demanding.”
…………………

[Yak]

During the next two months of the summer, Annie had little to no symptom of her cancer. The only symptom she experience occasionally was pain on her lower back. She does felt that as her baby grew the pressure increases, but it hadn’t gotten to the point where she couldn’t tolerate. In fact she believes that the pain was less painful then when she had treatment. Without her radiation, chemotherapy and potent medications that mess with her appetite and weaken her strength, Annie felt more energized and healthy. Her appearance does look much healthier without the pale dusky looking skin tone, the thinning of her hair, the weight loss, and most of all the constant fatigue and nauseated feeling. Annie felt great and loved the fact that her hair is growing back in and the fact that her baby is growing at a healthy rate too. Up until now, she had great confident in herself to carry her pregnancy to term.

Seeing her looking healthier with less pain episode and overly excited about their baby, Julian too believes that Annie had made the right choice to keep their daughter. As times went by seeing Annie’s condition looking very stable, Julian had slowly learn to let himself relax to enjoy their pregnancy.

Now that Annie is over four and a half months along, Julian had announced it to his parents, but not wanting them to stress Annie out he left out the fact that Annie had cancer. His parents were delighted, especially his mother, whom had totally changed her attitude toward Annie. Even though his parents were hoping for a grandson, but they are still excited to have a granddaughter, since they expected them to have more after this first one. They frequently came to visit them, to bring Annie health soups and get the opportunity to stare at her growing belly. They had started to develop a list of possible name for their granddaughter, but Julian had told his parents that he wanted Annie to name this first child of their. His mother was not too happy with the idea, but luckily his father was more open minded on matter like this.

During these two months, Jacky is starting to felt left out seeing how everyone is surrounding his mommy and talking about his baby sister, especially his grandparents and daddy. When he first know about having a baby sister soon, he was really excited, but it all changed now, after his classmate told him about how his parents will have little time for him when the baby arrive. Lately, Julian wouldn’t allow Annie to carry Jacky anymore. This made Jacky felt unwanted and starting to realize that what his friends at school warned him is becoming true. It made him felt jealous seeing his daddy always listening to his mommy’s belly or both his parents doing baby talk to his unborn sister. It saddens him more to realize that his parents are planning to turn his room into a nursery. He is really afraid that when his sister is born, he will be like invisible to his parents. No matter how much assurance, Jacky always had this fear of losing his daddy’s love, since he know that Julian isn’t his real daddy, but Julian will be his baby sister real daddy. Therefore Julian must love his baby sister more.

Not knowing how to express his feeling, Jacky had been acting out lately. He would purposely move all his toys from the living room into his bedroom to make his bedroom more crowded so his parents will reconsider about using his room as a nursery. Each time his parents are talking about the baby, he would distract them to change the topic. He had become extra clingy and wanted his daddy to do everything with him and when his daddy is not home he would cling to his mommy wanting to be hold, knowing that his daddy won’t allow it if he is home. Each time Annie pick up a parenting magazine with a baby on the cover, Jacky would snatch the magazine away and give her a different magazine to read. When friends and family came to visit them and gathered around Annie talking about the baby, Jacky would angrily ran into his room with his door slammed shut. Both Annie and Julian had notice Jacky’s behavior and had tried everyway to explain and assure Jacky of his status, but it does little to no help.

Today is a sunny end of August Saturday, where they had decided to head to the mall to shop for crib and some baby accessories. After Julian had pulled his car into park, Annie stepped out of the car to stretch herself out. She was about to step away, but Julian pulled her back and warned, “Watch out there is a car coming.”

Glanced to her right and left, the only car Annie saw in the parking lot is several hundreds feet away. “You’re not talking about that car, right?” laughed Annie as she rolled her eyes at her husband overly concern.

Helping Jacky unbuckle, Julian requested, “Just wait for us.” With his wife being almost five months pregnant, Julian had became quite protective with every step she take, what she put in her mouth, when she should take a rest, what household cleaning she is forbidden to do, what exercise she should do each day, and exactly what time she need to be in bed. Of course going out into the busy street and mall causes Julian’s worry of other bumping into his wife.

After gotten Jacky out of the car, Julian walked over to hold Annie’s hand. They begin to walk heading toward the mall, while Jacky pace slowed and walked behind them with disinterest. He pouted and turned to look back, not really wanted to go look at baby stuff. Sensing her son fallen behind, Annie stopped walking and turned back to see Jacky walking really slow with head toward his feet. Cheerfully, Annie urged, “Jacky, come on, hurry up, sweetheart.”

Looked up, Jacky grumbled under his breath, “I don’t want the baby to sleep in my room.”

“What did you said?” asked Annie curiously, since Jacky was mumbling too softly. “Come on let’s go in to pick you a new bed,” urged Annie with a warm smile.

Frowned, Jacky looked at Annie with sad offended eyes as he protested, “I don’t want a new bed! I like mine!” He thought that his parent wanted to give his bed away to the baby too, therefore making him get another one.

“But Jacky, you’re growing out of it,” said Julian, Jacky pouted with angry eyes darted at him. Jacky felt somehow the whole world seem to turn against him today.

Stepped back a few step, Annie reached her hand out. Jacky held it tightly. Smiled warmly, Annie explained, “Daddy is right, sweetheart. Your kiddy bed is getting too small for you. You’re old enough for a big kid bed now. And your new room will have enough space for it…”

“New room? But I like my room,” whined Jacky as he wondered what his mommy meant by new room, since beside his room, his parents room, and his daddy’s study room, there is no room, other than the tiny storage room that had no window. Worrying, Jacky pouted thinking that his parents must be putting him into the storage room, so his baby sister can get his room. He couldn’t help but felt like he had become the boy version of Cinderella.

Trying to cheer him up, Julian offered, “You wanted to ride on daddy’s shoulder?”

“No! I just want my bed and my room back,” grumbled Jacky. He darted at Annie belly and grouchily mumbled, “I wish there is no baby.”

“Jacky!” scolded Annie in disbelieve to what she just heard.

Quickly picked Jacky up as he tried to calm Annie down, Julian assured, “He didn’t mean that. He just too tire and probably needing a nap.”

Sighed with displease, Annie begin to walk toward the mall as she softly scolded, “Jacky, I can’t believe you would said such a thing. She is your baby sister. I know you had been unhappy thinking that mommy and daddy love the baby more, but we had told you many times that it is not true. For heaven sake, your daddy has been spoiling you rotten. To insure that you felt equally loved, he has been laboring over his study room to change it into your bedroom.”

“Annie…”

“Let him know. He is old enough to be more understanding than this,” stated Annie with firm eyes on her son. Jacky guiltily dropped his head trying to avoid his mommy’s powerful eyes. “Jacky, the only reason why daddy and mommy didn’t tell you about it, was because daddy wanted it to be a surprise for your birthday. Each night after tugging you into bed, daddy and I had been spending a lot of time painting and decorating your new room with glow in the dark stars, dinosaur wallpaper, and shelf for you to displace your toy dinosaurs. You know that the study room is much larger than the room you are in now. If we really love your baby sister over you, we wouldn’t spend so much time decorating both room and giving you the bigger one.”

Nudging his wife, Julian whispered, “Annie, enough. He understands now.”

“You stop defending him,” warned Annie. Julian has to admit that he hadn’t been strict with disciplining Jacky. Being a stepfather is harder then he thinks. It was hard and didn’t felt right for him to scold Jacky, since he is afraid that it’ll ruin the bond and trust that he build with Jacky.

“I’m sorry,” Jacky weakly said as he looked at his daddy with guilty eyes. He turned to his mommy and dropped his head as he softly apologized again, “I’m sorry.”

Chuckled, Julian assured, “It’s okay, we are family, there is nothing to say ‘sorry’ about. As long as you know we loved you the same. You’ll always be daddy’s son, okay?” Jacky nodded as he turned to wrap his arms around Julian’s neck and lean on his shoulder. Pleased, Julian smiled warmly as he urged his wife, “Okay, let’s forget about everything and enjoy our day picking out a new big kid bed and a new crib.”

In the mall they shopped for several hours before Annie and Julian found the perfect white crib they wanted for the baby and Jacky found the bed he is overly excited about. Standing in line waiting to place their order for delivery, Annie shake her head in disbelieve and stated, “I can’t believe you actually agree to that. What on earth made you agree that Jacky needed a bunk bed all to himself? And to even buy one with a full size mattress at the lower bunk?”

“There is no harm in buying a bigger bed; his new room is big enough for it. Didn’t you see how excited he was pretending it was a spaceship, climbing up and down? Beside, when he starts having friends sleepover there will be plenty of room. The price is actually not too far off from a single twin size bed. Might as well buy the one he is excited about…”

“I’m not wasting my breath to discuss this with you. You always made me the bad guy, since you give him everything he asked for,” complaint Annie. “Jacky, don’t walk off too far!” warned Annie as she saw her son being mesmerized by the toys area. “Honey, do you mind to stand in line yourself? I wanted to look at those baby clothes.”

“Talk about spoiling, you’re spoiling the little one as much as I’m spoiling Jacky,” Julian pointed out.

Childishly, Annie stuck the tip of her tongue out at her husband and walked off heading toward the baby clothing area. Everything in the baby department seem so cute to her. She is so happy that she is having a daughter this time, since she had always wishes to buy little dresses when she was pregnant the first time, but she end up having a son instead.

Meanwhile, wandering around and saw his mommy nearby, Jacky ran up to her. He grinned and reached out to hold his mommy’s hand. Annie looked down at him and smiled warmly to see her son swinging their hands. “Mommy, I’m sorry for being mean,” seriously said Jacky.

Rubbed on his hair, Annie nodded and replied, “Apology accepted. You want to pick a dress for your sister?” Jacky nodded with a big wide grin. He begins to scan through baby dresses until he found a pink one with green poke-a-dot. Annie shakes her head to his idea. Happily he returns to look for another one.

Meanwhile, Annie begins to sense her legs feeling a bit numb and tingly, like it had fallen asleep. She tried to move her leg and step forward, but she found herself very weak from her waist down. It was a very strange sensation that she hadn’t felt before. At that moment she just had a sinking gut feeling that something is very wrong with her. She quickly reached to tightly hold onto a rail of hanged baby clothing fearing that she will fall. Suddenly a sharp pain strike her deep into her spine making her whimpered, “Ow....”

Feeling the pain coming from her cancer spot, Annie quickly applied pressure by holding onto her back with one hand, while didn’t dare to let go of the rail. The second sharp pain hurt her so much that she lost all sensation of her legs and quickly drained all of her strength making her unable to hold onto the rail, therefore crushed onto the floor. “Julian…” she cried deeply in pain as she formed two fists with her hands making her knuckles turn white.

The customer that was around the area quickly ran up to her and asked, “Are you okay?”

Hearing the commotion, Jacky turned around and realize that his mommy is on the floor crying. He quickly ran up to his mommy and nudged her, “Mommy, mommy, what happen?”

Turned to face her son with beady sweat covered her face, Annie instructed in her shaky voice, “Jacky go get daddy. Tell him that mommy need to go to the hospital now. Hurry, hurry, go get him here now…”

Nodding, Jacky quickly took off heading back to the cash register line to look for Julian. He saw that his daddy is talking to the cashier. Jacky hollered as he ran up to Julian, “Daddy! Mommy had fallen and in a lot of pain! She needs to go to the hospital now…”

Without question, Julian rushed toward Annie with Jacky showing the way. The people around the mall nosily watch them and started to gather around Annie. Pushed through the crowd, Julian and Jacky finally return to Annie. “Annie, where are you hurt?” asked Julian urgently with concern written all over his face as he swiftly examines Annie.

“I can’t feel my legs. It’s so numb and weak,” fearfully stated Annie. Clasping her hand onto her husband arm tightly, Annie moaned in deep pain. In tears, she begged, “It hurt really bad, make it stop…”

Shocked, Julian murmured, “Could you move your leg at all? Where is the pain form?” Annie shook her head and squint her eyes shut tightly when she felt a second unbearable pain drilling deep into her spine. “Is the baby hurting you? Are you having a miscarriage?” fearfully asked Julian.

“No, baby is fine. It’s my back. It felt like something sharp… Ow… Make it stop Julian, oh my…it’s hurting really bad,” cried Annie uncontrollably. “I need to get to hospital, I don’t want this to effect our baby,” she kept stressing. Jacky was shook up standing there watching his mommy suffer and cried.

“We had called for an ambulance,” informed one of the customers.

Holding Annie tightly in his arms, Julian assured as he wiped her sweats and tears away as he gently rocked her, “Hang in there, help is coming. Breath, takes deep breath. Can you move your leg at all?”

While shaking her head to her husband’s question, Annie did what her husband told her to, but the pain just kept intensifying like never before. Her breathing became more labored and short as she begins to moan and hyperventilate. “Ow…Julian, it’s starting to hurt the baby. I don’t want a miscarriage…I don’t want to loss our baby,” cried Annie with great fear as she wrapped her arm around her belly. Annie was in so much pain that she begins to shake and within a few second she passed out.

The sight of his wife fainted with her body limped into his arms made Julian face quickly paled with his heart rate sky rocketed. “Annie! Annie,” Julian loudly called trying to wake his wife, but Annie had become unconscious. Knowing that he can’t sit here and wait any longer, Julian swiftly swoop Annie off the floor and carried her, running toward the front entrance of the mall to meet the ambulance.

Cried as he ran and followed right behind Julian, Jacky keeps questioning, “Daddy, what’s wrong with mommy? Is mommy going to die?”

“NO!” yelled Julian not wanting to think of anything that is near that spectrum of possibilities. He breathlessly running toward the exit as his heart pounded hard and fast. He kept assuring Jacky and himself, “Mommy will be fine. Mommy and your baby sister will be just fine. We just need to get her to the hospital now. The doctors there will be able to help them.” Once he ran to the front of the mall and saw no ambulance around, Julian kept turning around not knowing what he should do. There is so many things worrying him, that all he could think of is to get Annie to a hospital as soon as possible.

“Daddy, our car is on the other side!” cried Jacky as he trailed behind Julian. Knowing, that there is no time, Julian charged into the street trying to stop the first on coming car. “DADDY!” screamed Jacky in shock.

A loud sound of a brake squeaked with the driver turning pale that he almost runs over someone. Shaking, Jacky quickly ran up to his daddy, who was begging the driver to take them to the hospital. But at that moment, they finally heard the sound of siren. Carrying Annie tightly, Julian quickly ran toward the ambulance. The EMT quickly takes over with Annie’s care. Along with Annie, both Julian and Jacky ride the ambulance to the hospital.
…………….

[Yak]

It took over three hours, three doctors, and a handful of nurses to stabilize Annie’s condition. Afterward they had transferred Annie up into the intensive care unit, where she remains asleep for many more hours, since they had injected painkiller directly into her spine and given her some mild anesthesia, so she can rest. Among the three doctors was her oncologist, who had given Julian the bad news that Annie’s cancer is starting to show sign of over growing, which mean that it will spread to her other organ in the very near future if she continues to avoid treatment.

Dr. Yip had also assured Julian that the paralyzed legs Annie felt was just temporary because her cancer was pinching on her spinal cord. He also explain that the pain has intensify because her cancer had drilled deeper into her spine and nested on the surface of her spinal cord, therefore on top of pain, she’ll feel numbness, tingling, and sometime temporary paralyze from the waist down. Dr. Yip also expresses his concern for their baby if more of these pain episodes occur because it almost caused a miscarriage when the baby was deprive of oxygen for a few second when Annie went into shock before she fainted. Dr. Yip had insisted Julian to talk Annie into ending her pregnancy and return to her treatments before her cancer get any worst.

From early this afternoon to now being eleven in the evening, Julian had been sitting beside Annie holding onto her hand. He had never felt as much fear in his whole life combined as the fear that he had experienced today. Looked at Annie peacefully closed eyes, he really question himself on how he is going to live through the day when Annie will seriously leave him for good, if today had frightened him this much. Gently stroked Annie’s cheek, Julian sighed to see how his wife had suffered today. He held onto her hand tightly with both of his as he dropped his head to press his forehead against the back of Annie’s hand. Even though he had never been a religious man, but now he is praying to heaven to have mercy on Annie and their baby.

Meanwhile, exhausted from the long harsh day, Jacky had finally fallen asleep with his head drifted off balance and leaned against Julian’s side. Turned his attention to Jacky, Julian picked him up and walked over to place him down on the small vinyl loveseat to sleep. He took his outer shirt off to cover Jacky up. “Mommy…” mumbled Jacky in his sleep. Sighed, Julian knows it must have been hard for a child to see his own mother in such great pain. Julian leaned down to peck his stepson on the forehead.

Stood back up, he glanced at Annie before he stepped out of her room to make a phone call to Louis and Jessica, hoping that they can drop by to pick Jacky up and take care of him for the next few days, or at least for tonight. He has suggested it to Jacky earlier, but Jacky refuse to leave them. But Julian knows that the last thing his wife wanted was for her own son to see her lying on the hospital bed in pain.
………………

Early the next morning, Annie slowly stirs. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was her husband asleep resting his head on the edge of her bed, while his hand are still tightly holding hers. She let out a weak pale smile with a thin layer of tears redden her eyes. She felt guilty to put her husband through this much worry. Gently, she stroke Julian’s head as she longingly gazed at him. How much she wishes for an opportunity to grow old with him. Her gentle touch made Julian startled awake with alarmed eyes looking at her. “I’m sorry,” Annie mouthed with dry lips and throat. Her hand gently touches Julian’s cheek.

Smiled in relieve, Julian grab her hand and turned slightly to it to longingly kissed her hand. “I love you,” he whispered with tears drowning his eyes. Annie nodded with her lips pressed trying not to cry, since she had once promise her husband not to abuse her tears. Scooted to sit on the edge of her bed, Julian leaned down to softly peck her lips. He concernedly asked, “Are you in pain?”

Shaking her head, Annie smiled thinly and assured, “No. I want some water though.” Nodding, her husband quickly pours her some, while she tried to sit up. She moaned, “Something is pulling on my back.”

“Be careful. It’s your epidural. They place it in to help you control your pain,” informed Julian.

Worriedly, Annie questioned, “Is our baby okay?”

Nodding and holding the glass of water to Annie’s lips, Julian assured, “Yes, she is.”

After drinking a sip, Annie worriedly asked, “Wouldn’t the epidural harm our baby?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s only a very small amount. It’ll hurt the baby more if you are in pain,” informed Julian as he help his wife moves her pillows around so she can lean on it more comfortably.

“Where is Jacky?”

Giving her hand a squeeze, Julian assured, “He is with my parents. At first I was going to ask Louis and Jessica to take care of him for a few days, but I couldn’t contact them…”

Weakly chuckled, Annie reminded, “Of course, they went on vacation, remember?”

“Oh, right,” said Julian with his shoulders slumped to totally forgotten about it. Looked into Annie’s eyes, he softly laughed, “I can’t believe I forgotten about that.”

Feeling her husband’s cheek again, Annie sighed, “I must make you worry sick.” Smiled, Julian slightly shook his head telling her that he doesn’t mind. “Will Jacky be too much trouble for your parents? Did they know about me…”

“Don’t worry. I only told them that your sugar was low so you fainted. They will probably bring Jacky here to visit you later into the day. Dr. Yip said that you’ll probably have to stay one more night to stabilize your pain more before they will take the epidural out and discharge you in the morning.”

“Look at you, you’re so weary. Julian, I want you to go home tonight and get a good night of sleep. I’ll be fine. I felt fine now. I’m worry that Jacky is not use to living with your parents…”

Nodding, Julian agreed just so his wife doesn’t have to worry, “Alright, I’ll take Jacky home tonight.” Julian glanced down on her pair of legs and asked, “How are your legs? Can you move them?” Annie wiggled her toes and tried to move her legs, but they felt really heavy and kind of numb. Julian explained, “The epidural numb them a bit. The most important is that you are able to move them.” Annie nodded, as she continues to experiment with her legs.

Paused, not knowing how to start the topic, Julian finally found the courage to speak up, “Annie, Dr. Yip said that your cancer is growing at a very fast pace. It was pinching your spinal cord, that’s why you can’t move your legs yesterday. He said that at this rate that it’s growing, it’ll spread to your other organ very soon.” Paused to see his wife reaction, Julian sighed to see Annie so little reaction, like she had expected it. Gulped, Julian weakly suggested, “Annie, we can still control it, if you would end the pregnancy and return to treatments again.”

“Julian, you know my answer to that,” softly replied Annie, with a bit of displease that her husband is trying to bring it up again.

“I know,” replied Julian. He sighed and looked into his wife’s eyes. Gently placing his hand on top of Annie enlarged belly, Julian said, “You think I really had no feeling for her?”

“Then let’s not mention about it again,” pleaded Annie. “We are half way through already. She really deserves to live. I’m sure I could do it, support me okay? You promised,” she reminded. Hesitated, Julian nodded. Smiled with assurance, Annie promised, “After she is born, I’ll listen to you and do whatever you wanted me to.”

“You promise,” warned Julian, while Annie nodded. “I just wish the next five months come fast without complication.”
………………

Meanwhile at Julian’s parents’ flat, Jacky is asleep in Julian’s old bedroom. A sudden sound of fallen pot startled him awake. He looked around the area confused to where he is at. “Mommy…” he murmured as he nervously looked around the room. Jacky had no idea why he would be here, since the last thing he remembered was being in the hospital with his daddy and mommy. He than saw Julian’s photo on the nightstand and remembered that this is Julian’s old room. His eyes widened because he realize that it meant he is at the grandparents place with the grandma that despite him. Jacky turned toward the door, when he heard voices coming from outside.

Gulped, Jacky anxiously got off bed and headed to the door to stick his head out for a peek. He saw no one in clear view, but he was able to hear Julian’s mother talking in a distance. Quietly, he tiptoed out hoping to find his daddy, so he doesn’t felt too intimidated being in this flat. He tiptoed to the end of the hallway and turned to saw the grandma in the kitchen cooking something as she talks on the phone. Jacky gulped at the sight of the grandma like he had just seen a ghost. Not wanting to let them see him, he soundlessly and quickly turned wanting to head back into his daddy’s room to wait for him there, but when he turned around he ran right into someone’s pair of legs. “AHH!!” screamed Jacky, when he saw that it was the intimidating grandpa.

Julian’s father slightly rolled his eyes. He has never really enjoys kids, especially one that scream and cry. Bended down to grab Jacky’s arm, he pulled Jacky up, while Jacky kept screaming, “Ahh! Daddy, daddy help!”

Wanting Jacky to stop his screaming the grandpa harden his eyes and ordered, “Hush!” His loud voice made Jacky lost his voice and looked daunted.

Hanged up, Julian’s mother is heading over as she asked, “What’s all that screaming about?”

Seeing that another one is coming to get him, Jacky kicked the grandpa on the shine. Once Julian’s father loosens his grip on his arm, Jacky quickly ran for his life back into his daddy room with the door shut and locked it. He panted inside as he tries to figure out why both his parents aren’t around while he is here. He thinks that this situation is a nightmare coming alive.

Steadying her husband, the grandma asked, “Are you alright?” Her husband nodded and shaking it off. Shaking her head, the grandma darted at the closed door and commented, “That child is an ill mannered barbarian. Better tell Julian to let us raise our granddaughter rather than his wife, or else our granddaughter will turn into him.”

“Nonsense,” scoffed her husband. “You’ll wake up screaming like a mad woman too if you wake up finding yourself not home. Did you cook him oatmeal for breakfast?”

“No,” replied his wife. She sighed, “Our son instructed to give him Oreo and milk for breakfast. Julian said that it’ll calm him down, when he is not happy. I have goes down to buy a bag of it this morning. You get him out of there and wash up, while I’ll go pour him a glass of milk.”

Displeased, the grandpa exclaimed, “Giving a child high sugared cookies and milk for breakfast?”

“That’s what your son ordered, not me,” stated his wife.

“Nonsense! No child under my roof is going to eat such unhealthy breakfast. Put those cookies away. Cook him a bowl of oatmeal,” demanded the grandpa. In the meantime, behind the door hearing what they are talking about, Jacky pouted that the grandpa is so mean that he wouldn’t give him Oreo. Knocking on the door, the grandpa instructed, “Child, come out to wash up and eat your breakfast.”

“No! I don’t eat oatmeal! You go away!” yelled Jacky with a big pout, wishing that he is home now with his mommy and daddy. They don’t let him eat Oreo and milk all the time, but at least they don’t force him to eat nasty gluey oatmeal.

Growled, the grandpa stated in a deep low voice, “You do not talk to an adult like this, young man. You are to come out, get your teeth brush, and go sit down for breakfast. You heard me?”

“No! I want Oreo!” stubbornly growled Jacky.

“This is my home, I set the rules. You are to eat oatmeal for breakfast. You can snack on cookie later in the day. Now unlock the door,” ordered the grandpa.

“NO!” protested Jacky. “Then, I want to go home,” he added.

Sighed with impatient, the grandpa stated, “Your mother is in the hospital. Your father is busy taking care of her. You’re to stay with us until your mother return home. We are going to the hospital to visit her as soon as you get out of that room to go wash up and eat your breakfast.”

“I don’t want oatmeal. It’s nasty,” whined Jacky behind the door.

With stern expression, the grandpa exclaim, “Well, that’s all you’re getting, young man. I’m not going to spend my time here. When you had decided when you wanted to go visit your mother in the hospital, you come out to brush your teeth and eat your oatmeal. There is a new set of towel and toothbrush in the bathroom waiting for you.” With that the grandpa walked away back to his seat in the dinning area to read his newspaper.

Stubbornly, Jacky remain in the room. But within half an hour his stomach is growling for food and he needed to pee, not to mention he really wanted to see his mommy and daddy. Pouted, he kept kicking on the door gently, not willing to give in. Hearing the constant sound of kicking, the grandpa warned, “Stop that!” Jacky growled under his breath, wishing that he is at Louis and Jessica’s place rather than here.

Half more hour passed making Jacky stomach growled loudly in hunger and he really can’t hold it in much longer and really need to use the bathroom. He finally gave in and softly opened his door to look out. He saw that the grandparents are at the dinning table talking with each other. Dropped his head, he walked around the hall to find the bathroom and went in to use it. Obeying the grandpa’s instruction, Jacky brushed his teeth and washed his face. He then quietly walked to the dinning table. The grandpa lowered his newspaper to glance at him with a nod and return to his paper.

“Sit here child,” instructed the grandma, as she stood up to grab a bowl of oatmeal for him.

Sitting there staring at the gluey thick substance in front of him, Jacky had totally lost his appetite. Unnervingly, he turned to look up at the grandma and softly requested, “Can I have my Oreo and milk?” The grandpa swiftly lowered his newspaper making a loud rustling sound that caught Jacky’s attention to look over. Jacky gulped when he saw the grandpa dead serious harden eyes. He dropped his head and didn’t dare to request for Oreo anymore. Staring at his bowl of oatmeal, Jacky begin to swing his legs back and forth not really wanting to dig in.

Getting impatient, the grandma instructed, “Hurry child, eat up, it’s nearly ten thirty already.”

“No need to rush him, we don’t have to go to the hospital if he decided not to,” stated the grandpa calmly.

Pouted, Jacky glared up at the grandpa. Really wanted to see his parents, Jacky sighed and reached out to grab the spoon. He gave it a little taste and made a disgusted expression. He glances up at the two old adults, who seem serious about having him finish it all before he could go to the hospital. Little by little, Jacky forced himself to eat the thick gluey oatmeal with a tall glass of orange juice to wash it down.
………………

[Yak]

After Annie has been discharged from the hospital, her health had been slowly declined. She easily fatigue and seem paler as the days pass. Julian is beginning to get really worried about her condition and had brought many books on cancer. He spend many hours after Annie had fallen asleep to read them, trying to get the best understanding he could on his wife’s condition and how it’ll affect their baby or how the baby affect the illness. Many nights, Annie just pretended to be asleep, knowing that her husband wanted to rush to his books, but didn’t want her to know that he has been doing research on her disease. She would quietly stand near the door way of Jacky’s new bedroom to watch her husband reading with books all over the floor.

Less than two weeks since her last admission into the hospital, Annie was once again admitted because of increased pain. Both her oncologist and obstetrician had explained to her husband and her that the pain is getting worst because of the growing baby. Her oncologist encouraged Annie to consider about carrying her pregnancy to seven months and have a caesarean. He reasoned that by then her baby should be strong enough to survive on her own, while Annie can resume her cancer treatments. But her obstetrician had warned her that her baby is smaller than other babies in the same pregnancy stage due to the fact that her baby is deprive of nutrient and blood supply. In other words, her obstetrician meant that Annie needs to lets her baby develop inside her for as long as possible if she wanted a healthy baby without complication. Of course, valuing her child’s life over her own, Annie chooses to listen to her obstetrician.

Today is the twentieth of October, which is her son’s seventh birthday. Annie is so glad that she felt well enough to organize a birthday party for her son. She had invited Louis, Jessica, Nancy, and her husband’s parents over to celebrate with Jacky. While Julian played video games with Jacky, Annie has been busy in the kitchen making food for tonight party and also personally baking her son a birthday cake.

Worrying about Annie overworking herself, Julian lifted Jacky up away from his laps and instructed, “It’s almost time for the guests to arrive. Daddy goes help mommy out, okay? You continue to play.”

“Okay,” happily chirped Jacky.

Julian walked into the kitchen and stood leaning on the door to watch and admire his wife as she decorates the chocolate cake. Sensing someone staring at her, Annie paused to look up. She proudly smirked, “Remember who say I can’t bake?”

Rolled his eyes as if in deep thought, Julian shakes his head and playfully stated, “I don’t know, who is that stupid? I had always knows you could bake, but design and decorate the cake too? Wow, that’s amazing.” Annie laughed joyfully as she sampled some of the whip cream. Julian ran up to her and leaned in to kiss her on her lips. He licked the tiny amount of whip cream that got transferred to his lips and commented, “Strawberry whip cream, Jacky’s favorite.” He bended down to give his wife’s belly a peck and informed, “Sweetheart, I just hope you can bake as well as your mommy when you grow up.”

Pushed her husband away, Annie rolled her eyes, “Stop yours sweet talking, you didn’t even try the cake yet.” Rubbed her six months pregnant belly, Annie sighed with a pout, “You think I’ll get a chance to make her a cake?”

“Of course,” seriously stated Julian. Stepped to message his wife’s shoulder, Julian encouraged, “Come on, only positive thought remember?”

Annie nodded with a bright mischievous smile. Turned around with her tube of pink whip cream, she playfully squeezed the whip cream to cover her husband’s entire nose. Laughed, Annie commented, “You looked like Bozo the clown.” Her husband darted at her with a ‘not amused’ look while she chuckled.

“Okay, you asked for it,” exclaimed Julian, which gave Annie the cue to run. Julian quickly grabs Annie’s hand before she was able to slip away. He pinned her to a corner of the kitchen and gave her an evil smirk.

Shaking her head at him, Annie laughed. “Remember, I’m pregnant and tend to be clumsy, so don’t tickle me or I’ll fall,” warned Annie with laughter. Julian quickly tickled her sides as he leaned in to kiss her, making the whip cream that was on his nose smearing on her face. Giggling and wiggling, Annie held her husband hands to stop him from tickling her. Sweetly smiled, Annie returned his kiss with her arms wrapped around his neck.

With widen eyes, Jacky quickly covered his eyes and complaint, “Eww…mommy and daddy is kissing in front of baby and me!” Annie and Julian break it off and laughed at their son. Julian quickly ran up to tickle Jacky on his sides until he breaks into laughter. He removed Jacky’s hands from covering his eyes and leaned in to peck him on both side of his neck multiple times making him squirm back and forth. Finally to stop the ticklish kisses, Jacky shrugged and kept his shoulders high to cover his neck. “Daddy, stop it!” begged Jacky as he laughed cheerfully.

“Surrender?” asked Julian.

Shaking his head firmly trying to hold his laughter, Jacky chuckled, “Never!” Seeing his mommy laughing at them, Jacky reached his hand out toward her and begged, “Mommy help!”

“Julian stop, before he drool on you,” laughed Annie.

“Eww…wipe that off,” chuckle Julian with a disgusted look.

Chuckling mischievously, Jacky leaned in to grab his daddy’s shirt and quickly wiped his mouth with it. “Jacky!” both his parents yelled, while he laughed with great amusement.

“Daddy, you have pink whips cream on your nose,” chuckled Jacky, who is oblivious that he had some on his neck too.

“Really?” asked Julian as he pretended to be ignorance. He rubbed his nose and asked, “There?” Jacky nodded. Chuckling evilly, Julian rubbed his hand that just wiped his nose onto Jacky’s nose. The father and son laughed.

“You two slobs are just disgusting me,” laughed Annie with amuse to see her husband and son interact. “Get out of my kitchen now, so I can finish up,” shooed Annie. Swiftly stood back up, her husband guided one of her hand to place on his shoulder while holding onto the other one and begins to sway her side to side as he hummed her favorite song. Laughing, Annie rolled her eyes as she playfully slaps her husband’s shoulder and demanded, “I’m not kidding with you! I’m running out of time to cook…”

“Shh…” hushed her husband with a smirk that shows those faint crescent dimples.

Grinned at his parents, Jacky ran up to tug on his daddy’s shirt and requested, “I wanted to dance too!”

“Okay, I think we can fit one more,” teased Julian as he glanced down on his wife’s protruded belly that was between them. He breaks it off with Annie to pick Jacky up to dance with them. He quickly pulled on his wife’s hand before she slipped away wanting to return to her cooking. “Hey one more dances,” he requested, while Jacky chuckling.

“Not the right timing, Mr. Cheung,” exclaimed Annie. She turned toward her husband and son to shoo them out, “Come on, you two be good and get out of my kitchen. Go dance in the living room.”

“Fine!” declared Julian. He leaned in to give his wife a soft loving peck on her lips, before he danced his way out of the kitchen with Jacky clinging on his neck.

A few minutes later Louis, Jessica, and Nancy arrived with presents and a big bundle of balloons. Both Jacky and Nancy were overly excited as they ran around the flat playing tag with each other. Jessica went into the kitchen to help Annie out while Julian offered Louis a beer and the two watches sport on TV.

An hour later, the doorbell sounded, Jacky cheerfully hollered as he ran, “I’ll get it!” With Nancy running right behind him, he ran to open the door. His big smile turned upside down when he realize it was his strict grandpa and grandma. “This is my home, I get cake tonight,” Jacky warned his grandpa with a pout.

Laughing, Julian went to lift Jacky up and teased, “It’s your birthday today. Of course grandpa will let you have cake! Right grandpa?” Julian laughed, “Come in dad, mom.”

Deeply cleared, his throat, Julian’s father grab the wrapped gift from his wife and handed it over to Jacky. Jacky curiously staring at it, while the grandpa firmly stated, “Don’t dream, it’s nothing sugar coated.”

Hearing her in-laws had arrived, Annie walked out of the kitchen to greet them. She chuckled, as she greeted, “Mom, dad.” Ruffling her son’s hair, Annie reminded, “Jacky, what do you say when someone give you a gift?”

Looked up at the grandpa, Jacky mumbled, “Thank you.” Wiggling, Jacky requested, “Daddy, put me down. I want to put my present with the rest.” After Julian had dropped him down, Jacky ran toward his pile of presents with Nancy trailing after him.

While Julian’s father had stepped in to join Louis at the sofa, Julian’s mother had got a hold of Annie’s arm and guiding her toward the dinning table to sit down for a chat. “Mom, you want some tea? Let me go pour you and dad some,” offered Annie.

When Annie was about to stood up, her mother-in-law quickly pulled her back down on the chair and instructed, “No, you sit still. I’m not thirsty, if I am I’ll get myself tea, so will he.” Sighed, her mother-in-law gently asked, “Can I touch your abdomen?” Awkwardly, Annie nodded with a polite smile. Gently stroked Annie’s belly, the mother-in-law concernedly asked, “How come the baby hadn’t enlarge that much? I heard that you were hospitalized again last week. Julian say that it’s because your sugar level is low again, is that true?”

Weakly, Annie nodded and assured, “Yeah. The doctor said I’m fine now. Don’t worry.”

“You have to eat more. Even if you don’t feel like it, think of the baby, she’ll need more nutrient,” said her mother-in-law with a dragged sigh.

Seeing his wife needed help, Julian walked up and asked, “Honey, I don’t think you should trust Jessica with your cake. Mom, why don’t you go join dad at the sofa, while Annie and I go finish up with the food preparation.”

“Oh let’s Annie rest, I’ll help,” offered his mother.

“No, no, you are our VIP guest. Don’t worry I’ll make sure she don’t run into anything in the kitchen. You go sit down and enjoy the party. We’ll be right back,” insisted Julian, while Annie silently chuckled.

In the meantime in the living room, Jacky turned to Nancy and asked, “You want to go see the baby crib? It’s very pretty! It’s in my room.”

“No, I think I hurt my foot, Jacky,” whined Nancy as she wiggled her toes.

“I’ll piggyback you!” offered Jacky excitedly, since he had never done so before. But seeing his daddy use to always piggyback his mommy, it seems easy enough.

“You?” responded Nancy with doubt written all over her face, while Jacky nodded repeatedly with a confident big grin. Looked at him with uncertainty, Nancy shook her head, “No, I rather hop.” She got up to walk, but Jacky quickly ran in front of her and squatted down trying to grab her legs and lift her up. “Jacky, NO!” she screamed loudly, which alerted all the adults in the living room to turn their way.

While the grandpa and grandma eyes Jacky with disapproval, Louis is laughing his head off to see Jacky trying to lift his chubby daughter up, while she is yanking on his hair. “Ow…ow…you’re hurting me! Stop pulling on my hair,” demanded Jacky, as he gathered his strength to try again.

“You let go of me now, Jacky! Daddy…help!” screamed Nancy in tears.

“Jacky!” warned his grandpa.

Laughing, Louis went over to lift his daughter away. Nancy quickly ran to hide behind his daddy and grumpily hissed at Jacky. Louis teased, “Jacky, maybe in two more years, okay?” Jacky turned around and sheepishly giggled while Nancy darted at him angrily with her folded arms.

The party went well and smoothly. Everyone was happy and chattering while they eat. Jacky is over excited with his cake and presents. When he opened all of the presents from the guests he turned to his parents and pouted, “Mommy, daddy, how come there is no present from you two?” Suddenly remembering, Jacky jumpily asked with excitement, “Do I get to see my room now?”

Chuckled, Annie instructed, “Close your eyes and cover them with your hands first.”

“Why?”

“You’ll have to do as we say, if you wanted your present,” stated Julian with a grin. Obeyed, Jacky excitedly did as he was told. Julian and Annie each hold onto Jacky’s forearms and guided him toward his new room. “Don’t peek,” warned Julian. The guests followed behind, wondering what’s they are up to.

Jacky begin to hear Nancy gasping when Julian had opened the door. “What you see? What you see?” he excitedly asked wanting to let go of his hand, but Annie quickly kneeled down on the carpet behind her son and held his hand in place. “Mommy, I want to see!”

“No yet. Step forward first,” instructed Annie.

Hearing giggling, Jacky asked, “Nancy, how does it look like?” Nancy was about to answer, but Jessica has covered her mouth.

In the meantime, Julian has closed the door when everyone had entered the room. Finally, Annie let go and instructed, “Okay you can open your eyes.”

Jacky released his hands and his mouth widened when he saw how beautiful his new room is. Though it does not have live dinosaurs as he had imagined, but it was much colorful and beautiful. Both Annie and Julian had been locking this room up while it is being remodeled. Stood up to lean on her husband, Annie watches her son’s expression with amusement.

“Look up there Jacky!” instructed Nancy as she pointed at the ceiling.

Jacky slowly tilted his head back and gasped to see the ceiling painted in powder blue with white clouds like the sky outside. “A dino-bird,” he excitedly exclaim at the stuffed dinosaur with wings attached to a corner of the ceiling. His eyes were captivated by the dinosaur wallpapers and colorful shelves displaying his model dinosaurs. On the carpet, he saw a long rug with dinosaur footprints leading to his bunk bed. Suddenly, the light was turned off. Jacky looked around and saw his ceiling glowed with tiny stars. “Wow,” both he and Nancy stressed, while the adults chuckled.

“Mommy, I want my room like this!” whined Nancy.

“Yeah, sure, when you turn eighteen and get a boyfriend to do it for you,” laughed Louis sarcastically, while his wife elbowed his stomach.

Chuckling at Louis’ comment, Julian turned the light back on and asked Jacky, “So, you like it?”

Nodding, excitedly, Jacky ran up to hug both his parents. “Thank you! Nancy come, lets climb onto our time machine,” he excitedly said and quickly ran to climb onto his upper bunk bed with Nancy quickly followed. Annie and Julian laughed at his excitement. Seeing Annie and Jacky happy, make it all worth it for Julian. He turned to peck Annie on the cheek, while she warmly grinned.
……………..

After all the guests had left, leaving the flat back to peacefulness, Julian is busy cleaning up after the party, while Annie prepared Jacky for bed. Jacky talked nonstop, while Annie tugged Jacky into the bottom full size bunk bed. Chuckling at her hyper son, Annie hushed, “Shh… time for bed now.”

Glanced up at his upper bunk bed, Jacky excitedly declared, “Mommy! I wanted to sleep on the upper bunk!” He quickly kicked his blanket away and was about to get up, but his mommy shook her head at him warningly. Pouting as he nudged his mommy on the arms, Jacky requested with puppy eyes, “Please? I wanted to be closer to the stars!” Ignoring his mommy’s warning he quickly hopped out of bed and running for the ladder.

Chuckling while shaking her head at him, Annie exclaimed, “Jacky, you better stop being this wild, or you’ll have nightmare tonight.” Seeing Jacky having trouble getting to the very top, Annie helped him on. Glanced up high, she instructed, “Under your blanket now. Okay, settle down and go to sleep. No more talking.”

“Nite nite mommy,” sweetly said Jacky.

“Nite nite,” replied Annie as she reached up high to pull her son’s blanket up higher to cover her son’s up to the neck. Seeing Jacky scooted to the edge of his upper bunk bed stilly looking down at her with his big alert eyes, Annie laughed and ordered, “Close them now.” Jacky blows her a kiss making her heart melted sweetly. She warmly stroke his cheek as she softly said, “Love you.”

Closed his eyes, Jacky mumbled back, “Love you too.”

Patting her son to sleep, Annie suddenly heard music in the air coming from the living room. Wondering what her foolish husband is up to now, she quietly stepped out of her son’s room with the door closed behind. Curiously walked out to the living room and was surprise to not see her husband there, she called, “Julian?” There was no answer, so she walked toward the kitchen to look for him. Then suddenly the light dimmed and a pair of hands is on her waist, startled her to jump and squealed. Her husband laughed at her as he turned her over. “Stop laughing, you scared me!” exclaimed Annie with a pout.

Pulled her closer, Julian teased, “For heaven sake honey, beside me, who you think is here?” Stepped a step back he slightly bowed and apologized, “I’m sorry my lady.” Grinned at her gentlemanly, he offered his hand and requested, “Care for a dance, my lady? It’s your favorite song and the perfect timing, my love.” Julian winked and moved his brows up as he held her hand and placed them around his neck, while his arms slide down to wrap around her waist. Annie couldn’t help but laugh at her husband’s way of being romantic. Leaned on her husband’s chest, they peacefully danced to the soft music.

Meanwhile after hearing his mommy’s scream, Jacky had gotten out of bed and walked toward the living room. Seeing that his mommy is giggling sweetly as she danced with his daddy, Jacky smiled brightly. Never in his life had he witness his mommy being this loved and happy, which made him loved his daddy even more for giving him and his mommy this family. Sneakily not wanting them to make him go back to bed, Jacky quietly squatted down and out of the sight behind the sofa to watch them with a warm glowing smile.

Swayed to the music, Julian whispered, “It had been so long since we danced like this.”

“You notice?” teased Annie with a chuckle. “Remember where we first danced together?” she softly asked.

“Of course, it was romantic wasn’t it?”

“Freezing too,” reminded Annie with a laugh.

“It wasn’t that cold. I remember it was the first snow of the winter season. Well, I enjoyed it, since it’s not everyday thing that you get to dance under the snow in an empty park with the full moon and the one you love,” commented her husband sweetly.

Laughed, Annie reminded, “The full moon only last for few minutes.” She sweetly gazed into her husband’s eyes and sincerely stated, “But it was my best dance ever.” Leaned in to rest her head on her husband’s chest again, Annie softly closed her eyes and whispered faintly, “I do miss Boston.” Her husband nodded, with his chin slightly tapped on her head. They quietly enjoyed their night of dancing from one song to the other.

Suddenly after their third songs, they heard a familiar giggle from behind the sofa. “Did you hear a laughing rat?” asked Julian teasingly, while Annie nodded. “Shh…” he whispered in her ear, “Let me go capture that rat for you.” Julian stepped away from Annie and quickly ran behind the sofa to swoop Jacky up into his arms.

Jacky giggled with joy as he teased with his lips making kissing sound. “Daddy, you suppose to kiss mommy. That’s what they always do in the TV,” said Jacky as he chuckled.

“Jacky, why aren’t you asleep? It passed midnight already,” warned Annie.

Dropped his head, Jacky sheepishly replied, “I can’t fall asleep…”

“Can’t fall asleep?” asked Julian, while Jacky nodded with his purposely flatted frowning lips. Carrying Jacky in front of him, Julian stated, “Then we’ll dance you to sleep.” Annie chuckled at her husband’s idea. Her husband returned to hold her hand and dance with her, sandwiching Jacky between them. At first, Jacky couldn’t stop giggling, but after awhile he settles down and snuggled on his daddy’s shoulder as his parents danced and swayed him back and forth. Slowly, he finally closed his eyes and drifted to sleep with the comfort of the soft music and the whispering of his parents voice talking about their past.
…………………….

[Yak]

During the next month Annie had been in and out of the hospital three times already because of her pain being triggered due to the baby getting bigger. Now her pain has become constant without remission, which made her life miserable everyday, since she doesn’t want to take too much medication to control it. It has gotten to the point where she no longer wants to step out of her home or had much energy to cook big meals for her husband and son. She had also become really sicken tired with hospital stays. Seeing Annie suffer like this, Julian no longer wanted to waste his time working, when he is suppose to spend his time being by her side. But Annie wouldn’t let him do so, because she doesn’t want to affect his work position, especially since his company values him so much.

Seeing Annie admitting into the hospital so many times had made Julian’s parents suspicious, therefore Julian had told them everything. His parents were shock and were angry that they had kept it from them for this long. At first, his mother was disappointed that Julian married Annie even after knowing that she had a terminal illness. But after hearing Julian telling them that Annie refused all treatments because of wanting to keep their baby, they felt Annie had done her every duty as a good wife, a mother, and a daughter-in-law. They visited Annie often to give her support. They had even insisted that Jacky stay with them rather than with Louis, when Annie had to be admitted into the hospital while Julian is too busy running between work and the hospital to care for Jacky. After all they do consider themselves as Jacky’s grandparents.

Like the last two times within the month, Jacky was once again sent to live with his grandparents for a short few days. Seeing his mommy suffering pain and going to the hospital so frequently, Jacky is beginning to understand that the cancer germ his mommy has is something more serious and deadly then he first imagined. During this period of rough time, Julian had taken a chance to seriously talk to Jacky about his mommy condition and the possibility of death. Jacky doesn’t fully understand all that Julian had explained to him, but one thing he clearly understood is that his mommy will never get better again. Now, it made him very fearful each time Annie had to go to the hospital, because he no longer knows when it’ll be the time where his mommy won’t be able to return home again.

Lying on his daddy’s old bedroom, Jacky dully gazed at the ceiling missing his mommy and home already, even though he had only spend two days here at Julian’s parents. “Jacky, are you changed? If you had, come out for breakfast!” hollered his grandma, whom had changed quite a lot over the period of short times that they get to spend together. Obediently, Jacky walked out of the room in his pajamas. “Why aren’t you changed? You’ll be late for school,” informed his grandma, in a rushing tone.

Lowered his newspaper to take a look at Jacky weary eyes and dully depressed expression, the grandfather sighed. He folded his newspaper and set it aside on the table. Standing up and reached to hold Jacky’s hand, he walked Jacky back into the bathroom to wash up. Without saying a single word, Jacky followed. Being silent with a stone face as always, the grandpa squeezed toothpaste onto Jacky’s toothbrush and handed it over to Jacky along with a cup of water. Jacky too didn’t felt like talking, but he obeyed and brushed his teeth with his head held down the entire time.

Wetted a washcloth, his grandpa lifted his chin up wanting to help him wipe his face. It made the grandpa’s heart drowned when he saw tears in Jacky’s worry eyes. Gently, he wiped Jacky face as he assured with his low deep grandfather voice, “She will be fine. Your father will take good care of her. You have to take good care of yourself, so she doesn’t have to worry about you. You understand, child?” He asked the grandson who had just turned seven last month.

Nodding, Jacky replied, “I know, but I really missed mommy. Can I please not go to school today, so I can go to the hospital to visit mommy? Please.” He begins to hold onto the grandpa’s arm shaking it as he begged, “Please. I really wanted to see mommy. I’ll be good. I’ll listen to you. Please, pretty please...” Sniffed his tears away, Jacky wishfully looked at Julian’s father and softly begged in his teary voice, “Please grandpa…”

Surprised, the grandpa felt his heart heavy. It was Jacky first time ever calling him as grandpa. In fact it was the first time he heard anyone addressed him as ‘grandpa’, a title that made him felt really warm and proud. During the past month that Jacky had came over to live with them for a short day or two, Jacky was very obedient but wouldn’t address them in anyway or talk when it’s not necessary, now that he actually consider him as his grandpa, made Julian’s father felt really touched. The grandpa couldn’t help himself from gazing down at the child with warm eyes and unknowingly has a thin layer of tear in his eyes when he remembered how Julian was when he was Jacky’s age.

Shaking his grandpa’s arm, Jacky urged, “Can I, grandpa? Please?” The grandpa finally nodded, making Jacky all happy and relieved. Jacky quickly throw himself in to tightly hug his grandpa as he repeatedly said, “Thank you…”
……………

It was almost near noon when they arrived to the hospital. Jacky excitedly ran into Annie room with his grandparents followed behind. Seeing that her daughter-in-law is asleep, Julian’s mother quickly pulled Jacky back to a stop. In a very soft voice, she warned, “Shh… Mommy is asleep. Don’t wake her up. Let her rest more, so she can feel better faster.”

Understanding Jacky nodded and tiptoed over to look at his mommy. Meanwhile after taking a glimpse at his daughter-in-law, the grandpa settled down on the vinyl loveseat to read his newspaper. The grandma placed a soup thermal down on the bed-table and grabbed the vase to put her bouquet of fresh white daisy in.

Standing close beside Annie’s bed, Jacky watches her sleep. He carefully leaned in to softly peck his mommy on the cheek and whispered, “Sweet dream mommy.” It was what Annie usually said to him at night when she tugs him into bed. Jacky then glanced at his mommy’s almost seven month large belly. He scooted a chair toward the mid of the bed and climbed on to lean over and rests his ear against Annie’s belly, wanting to listen to his baby sister’s kicking. Turned to peck on Annie’s belly, Jacky warned in his soft whisper, “Angel, you be nice in there and don’t wake mommy up with your kicking. It’ll hurt mommy…”

Hearing her son’s whispering voice and feeling his head rested on her abdomen, Annie eyes fluttered open. The sight of her son talking to her daughter, made her smiled cozily. She reached to gently stroke the back of Jacky’s head. Surprise, Jacky quickly turned around and saw his mommy woken up. “Mommy, did Angel wake you up?” accused Jacky.

Annie weakly chuckled and replied, “No.” She gently strokes her belly and Jacky quickly did the same for her. Angel was a name that Annie had picked two weeks ago hoping that her daughter will be blessed by angels to be born healthy and without complication. Julian had liked the name too, so they had called their daughter by that name ever since.

Turned around to see Annie awake, the grandma sighed with shaking head, “Jacky, I told you not to wake your mommy up.”

“Mom, dad,” greeted Annie with a smile. She assured, “Its’ okay mom, I had slept for too long.”

“Sleeping is good for you and the baby,” stated her mother-in-law as she opened the thermal to pour Annie some soup.

The father-in-law folded his newspaper and set it aside to step up toward Annie. “How are you feeling today?” he asked in his usual calm manner.

“Much better,” Annie assured as she scooted upright. Handed Annie a bowl of soup, the mother-in-law is adjusting the pillow for her. “Thanks mom,” said Annie as she obediently drink her soup to make her in-laws feel assured.

Bended down to place her hand on top of Annie’s belly, the mother-in-law asked, “How is the baby?”

Rubbing on her belly, Annie smiled and assured, “Angel is doing goods. I’m doing fine too. They’re planning to discharge me later in the afternoon.”

“Will Julian be here by then?” asked her father-in-law.

“Yes, he is getting off work an hour early,” explained Annie.

Getting his mommy’s attention, Jacky pointed toward the bedside table, “Mommy, grandpa and grandma brought you flower, but I picked it. It’s mommy’s favorite white daisy.”

Chuckling, Annie nodded to her son triumphal smile. She was both surprise and relieved that Jacky is starting to address her husband’s parents as grandpa and grandma, and they seem to accept Jacky as their grandson too. It gave Annie great reassurance that her son will be greatly loved after she left.
…………………

Two weeks had passed by too quickly to Annie. Lately, she had wishes for time to stand still, especially during moment where both her husband and son are by her side. Even though she was able to cope with her pain enough to manage without admitting into the hospital during the two weeks, but deep down Annie knows for certain that her illness is heading downhill. Since the day she was last discharged from the hospital, Annie had developed a dry constant cough that she is having trouble to get rid of. Both Julian and Annie believe that her immune has been weakened by her cancer, therefore made her extra susceptible to cold virus this winter. Sometime Annie coughed so much that she felt pain even from taking in a deeper breath. During the night she would experience shortness of breath that woke her up gasping for air.

Like the past few days, Annie had trouble falling asleep since she will cough nonstop each time she lies down flat. Julian had tried many methods to help Annie cope with her coughing, so she could fall asleep. Each night he would prepare a glass of hot water with honey to place at the nightstand next to Annie, so she can drink when her throat felt scratchy. He even brought a new humidifier and an air purifier to turn on during the night, so Annie could sleep better. With many long nights of endless sleep to experiment with, they finally found that having Annie sleep on three pillows is a high enough elevation of her upper body that it will help stop her coughing long enough for her to fall asleep. But like any other night, Annie still startled awake in the middle of the night gasping for air like she is having an asthma attack.

Hyperventilating, Annie tries to control and deepen her breath, while not wanting to make too much noise to wake her husband up again. She begins to cough and having trouble with her breathing. Annie quickly sits upright and leaned forward a little with her two hands against the bed to tripod her body forward. She found that only this position had helped her breath better and it give her more control over her inhale and exhale to make them deeper so she can calm her breathing down. During one of her deep inhale, she felt a sharp pain that made her clasped on her chest. Luckily those pain never last long, since it only hurt when she take deep breath.

Even though Annie can better manage her shortness of breath, but she can’t stop her coughing. She glanced over to see Julian slightly moved. Fearing that she will once again wake her husband up if she keep coughing in their bedroom, Annie quickly covered her mouth and gotten off bed to walk out of their bedroom. She walked to the kitchen before she dares to let herself cough hard. In the kitchen, Annie kept drowning herself with water trying to calm her cough down. It took a full three glasses of water, before her cough diminished. Feeling sick to her stomach with ingesting this much water, Annie rubbed her belly and apologized, “I’m sorry Angel. Mommy hadn’t given you a good night sleep for a long time.”

Feeling hopeless, Annie slowly gotten down on the floor and hugged her knees to sob. She felt so ill and so sicken tired of it that sometime she just wishes she could just end all of her suffering. But each time she had that thought it made her cried harder for being so selfish to not think of her husband and son’s feeling. Feeling several kicks from her daughter, Annie sniffed and dried her tears as she soothingly rubbed her belly. Whenever Annie could sense her daughter being in her and totally depending on her, it had always given her courage to be brave and continue with her life for as long as possible, even when it’s one more day, because she know that one day meant a lot to her developing baby Angel. “Don’t worry, mommy won’t give up on you,” she whispered with tears down her cheeks again, feeling so cheated that she probably won’t get a chance to see Angel and Jacky grow up.

The thought of Jacky, made Annie stood back up to go into her son’s room to pay him a visit. Ever since his seventh birthday, Jacky had moved into his new room and had loved his room so much more than his old one, which had now been fully redecorated into a nursery waiting for Angel’s arrival. Quietly opened her son’s door, Annie stepped in to see Jacky chosen to sleep in the lower bunk bed tonight. She slightly shakes her head at Jacky to see him kicking his blanket off the bed again. Walked over to pick it up and place it back to cozily cover Jacky, Annie longingly gazed at her sleeping son under minimal light of the nightlight. She gently stroked Jacky’s cheek and wiped his sweaty hair back.

Sleepily opened his eyes a thin slit seeing his mommy being nearby, Jacky murmured very faintly, “Mommy…”

“Shh…” hushed Annie as she tenderly pecked Jacky’s forehead. “Go back to sleep,” she whispered and begin to pat Jacky on his shoulder in a continuous rhythm to ease him back to sleep. Before fallen back to sleep, Jacky reached his hand out to held onto Annie’s nightgown. “I’ll always love you, Jacky. Please remember that,” she whispered to her son with a drop of her tear fallen and hit him on the cheek. Wiping her tears away from Jacky, Annie watches her son sleep with very longing eyes. How much she wishes that she’ll get another chance to celebrate his birthday again.

She suddenly coughed again and it became so hard that she hacked. Not wanting to wake Jacky up, she quickly covered her mouth. She coughed really hard and felt she coughed out something really wet and thin on her hand. Annie removed her hand to take a look, with the minimal light it looked and smelled like blood. Feeling fearful, Annie quickly turned the small dinosaur lamp on her son’s small study desk to have a better look at what she coughed out. Her eyes enlarged while she felt weak and immediately turned pale to see her hand covered with blood. Her heart pounded hard and fast warning her that her cough was not from a cold virus.

“Honey, did your cough woke you up again?” questioned her husband’s sleepy voice from behind, which made Annie jumped and quickly turned around to face him, while hiding her hands behind her back. Seeing Annie drained look and startled expression, Julian suspiciously asked as he step forward walking toward her, “What are you hiding behind you?”

Tightly clenched her hand into a fist, Annie lied, “Nothing, what are you talking about? What’s there to hide in the middle of the night… Did I wake you up?” She tried hard to change the subject.

Stepped up to stand right in front of her, Julian demanded, “Let me see it now.”

“See what?” asked Annie in an offensive tone. She tries to step away, but her husband wouldn’t let her. “I’m not hiding anything Julian. Stop beings so silly. I just came in to help Jacky cover up…” Her voice trailed off when she saw her husband eyes became anxious as he stares at her.

Julian saw blood in Annie’s mouth when she talks. The bloodstain on her teeth and gums are pretty obvious since his wife is pale. Fiercely, Julian grabbed Annie arm and yanked her bloody hand out. “What do you call this?” he asked inflamingly. He is angry that up to this day, his wife is still trying to hide her condition from him. “Your teeth are stained with blood,” Julian informed. “Why do you have to lie to me?” he scolded loudly.

Moaned to the noise, Jacky rubbed his eyes and looked toward them. “Mommy… daddy?” he confusedly called wondering why they are in his room yelling.

Staring at her husband in the eyes with her eyes drowning, Annie swiftly pulled her hand away from her husband’s grip and ran out of Jacky’s room heading into their bathroom. Crying she quickly shuts the bathroom door and locked it, not wanting to face her husband. To ensure it stay close, she propped her back against the door. The thought of dying very soon made Annie hopelessly slides down to sit on the bathroom tile. She felt so confuse with her own emotion. At time she had wishes for her life to end quickly, but now that it had finally arrived, she felt cold and scared to walk the rest of her path alone. It’s not the pain of death that she is afraid of, is the thought of never to see her husband and son again, or not even the chance to see her daughter for the first time, that sent chill down to her bone.

Puzzled, Jacky sleepily rubbed his eyes as he looked at his daddy, who is still standing there with frustration and seem to be in deep thought. Seeing Jacky round worry eyes asking for an answer, Julian assured, “Everything is alright. Go back to sleep, Jacky.” After flatly stating that, he ran after Annie and found her locked herself up in their bathroom. “Annie,” called her husband loving deep tone.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Please, just go back to sleep,” her teary voice begged her husband.

Worried about his parents, Jacky had walked to the master bedroom and stood at the doorway peeking in. Hearing the tone of his mommy voice, made him felt really afraid, because he know that something bad had happened. Silently looking in, he saw his daddy standing in front of the bathroom door. Frowned, Jacky quietly stood to watch, while he wishes that they would stop being mad at each other as soon as possible.

Sighed, with his forehead rested on the closed bathroom’s door, Julian spoke up, “Annie, I don’t mean to yell at you like that.”

“I know,” murmured Annie. “I’m not angry with you. I just want to be alone. Please go away,” she begged. She wiped her dry lips and saw blood on her hand. The sight of the blood smear just made her quivered, knowing that there is no hope. Not wanting to accept what’s happening to her, Annie quickly gotten off the floor and headed to the sink. Her head is kept low because she didn’t dare to look at herself in the mirror. Fumbling with the handle of the faucet, Annie tries to turn on the faucet with her nervous hands.

Once she got the faucet fully running, Annie kept rinsing her mouth over and over to get rid of her blood. As her vision blurred with tears, she scrubbed her hand hard trying to get rid of all the evidence that show her health is greatly declining. But she started to cough again and more blood came out. She became obsess with trying to get rid of all her blood. Frustrated with herself, Annie angrily shoved everything nearby off, making them loudly crashed onto the bathroom floor.

Crying hopelessly, Annie slowly lifted her head up to bravely looked at herself in the mirror. She can’t recognize the reflection of the frail twenty-seven-year-old that looked back at her. She looked pale with dusky blue toned skin, her cheeks looked skinny, her eyes seem sunken, and she looked so fragile and ill. Vigorously shaking at her reflection, Annie shuts her eyes tightly not wanting to see anymore of it. Angrily crying, she pounded her fist hard against the counter of the sink, while kept asking herself why it has to be her.

Behind the door Julian heard his wife’s distressful crying from inside the bathroom along with the running faucet and things being thrown. “Honey, could you please open the door?” he begged, but Annie wouldn’t. She wouldn’t even reply to him. “I’m sorry, alright? But I’m really angry with you. Why must you always tries to hide your problem from me? I’m your husband. You’re not going through this yourself. I deserve to know what’s going on with you. How do you expect me to help you and support your decision when you don’t always tell me everything?”

“Go away! I don’t want to hear your voice!” screamed Annie. Controlling her temper, Annie tried hard to calm herself down before her distress affected her baby. Holding onto the end of the sink, Annie slowly lowered herself to the bathroom tile. Stopped her crying as much as possible, she paced her breathing to calm herself down as she shut her eyes and rested her head on her arms, which are folded and placed on top of her belly.

Sighed tiredly, Julian frustratingly begins to repeatedly, but in a gentle motion, bangs his forehead against the door. “I know you don’t want me to worry or think of you as getting sicker, but what I don’t know will make me even more afraid. Please don’t push me away, especially at this time. I know you are afraid too. I wanted to be there for you. Why can’t we just be open about everything? It’ll make it so much easier on both of us. I really love you. It really hurt to see you like this. Please don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to me…”

The door clicked open. Julian looked up to see his wife with her redden eyes. Swiftly needing her husband, Annie stepped up to Julian with her arms tightly swung around his chest. Leaning on Julian’s chest, Annie fearfully cried. Lovingly, Julian rubbed her back as he soothingly whispered, “Thanks… Its’ okay. It’ll be alright. Everything will be alright…”

“I’m scare. I don’t want to die yet. I know I had made wishes to end all of this, but I’m really not ready. I don’t want to leave Jacky and you. I don’t want to be all alone,” murmured Annie. Standing by the doorway hearing what his mommy just said shook Jacky up with fear. His eyes quickly watered and tears washed his cheeks. He continues to quietly listen not daring to let his parents know he is there, because he know they won’t speak the truth if they know he is around.

Frightened of the thought, Annie exclaimed, “Angel is still not born yet. Will I be able to see her before I…”

“Of course you will,” Julian snapped not wanting her to say that word. Not knowing what else he could do, Julian continued to rub his wife’s back and give false reassurance, “You won’t die, not now… I won’t let you. Everything will be just fine. There is always a solution to any problem.” After a long period of silence embrace, Julian stepped back and looked down at Annie’s belly. He gently place his hand on it and suggest, “She is over seven months already. Dr. Yip is right; she should be able to survive by herself. Let’s do a caesarian to take her out, than you can resume your treatment…”

“No, Angel is too small…”

“Annie! Lots of babies are born when they are only seven months or even sooner and they all do just fine!”

“Julian, Angel is different. You heard what the doctor has said about her being much smaller than the average baby at this gestational stage. She won’t survive by herself,” reminded Annie.

“She is killing you…” cried her husband. In a barely audible voice, Julian whispered, “I don’t want her anymore…”

Shaking her head, Annie firmly protested, “Don’t say that. Angel is your daughter. How could you say such a cruel thing? Julian, it’s not her fault. Please, please don’t get mad at her, for this. It really had nothing to do with her. The last thing I wanted is for you to hate her.” Wetting her lip to gather her courage, Annie sadly said, “I would die either way. At least now, it is much more worth it, because I’ll know that someone will love you for me.”

Paused, Annie pointed out, “There is no use in ending the pregnancy now. If my cancer has spread, nothing we do now will help me. Might as wells give Angel a better chance to develop and live a healthier life when she is born.” Seeing her husband mute and lovingly caressed her hair, Annie sincerely informed, “I’m really afraid of dying because I’m afraid of being alone. I will miss you, Jacky, and Angel greatly. But everyone eventually had to goes through the same path I’m going through, right? At least I had you to walk me to the end, but I won’t be there for you. I’m sorry.”

“Annie, stop it,” pleaded Julian. Crying soundlessly, Jacky bit his lower lips as he listened, knowing that his mommy is dying.

Rubbed her head on her husband’s chest, Annie asked, “You know I love you very much, don’t you?” Blinking his eyes, Julian nodded. Annie requested, “Promise me you won’t ever hate her because of me. Please?” Julian nodded. Nodded along with her husband, Annie felt a bit more reassured. She softly requested, “You’ll always love Jacky like how you are now, right?”

At the doorway, Jacky kept shaking his head while he pressed his lips tightly trying not to let his parents hear his crying.

“Of course,” snapped Julian with his tears slipped out of his eyes. “Annie, please stop. You’re not dying. Stop making it sound likes so,” begged Julian.

“I’m sorry…” murmured Annie. Looked into his eyes, she sincerely exclaimed, “I’m very glad I’m married to you. I had always and will always love you and remember you, no matter where I’ll be. Had I told you that you’re very handsome?” Silently, Julian shakes his head. “You are. I wanted you to know that I wouldn’t mind if you remarry, but you have to promise me that she has to love our children like how you had loved Jacky…”

“Stop it, Annie,” warned Julian in a serious tone and stern eyes.

“Just remember,” requested Annie as she changed the subject, “You’re a great husband and a great daddy. I’m very happy that Jacky had accepted you and bond so well with you. It always made me felt so warm inside seeing how you two interact. I had always fears how it’ll affect Jacky to grow up without a father. After we gotten married, I was even more worry that you two won’t get along like other father and son, but not anymore. With you being his daddy, I know Jacky will be happy and well loved even after I died. I’m confident you’ll know how to cheer him up and help him move on so he can forget me more easily.”

“NO!” yelled Jacky, which alerted Annie and Julian to look behind them, seeing him standing at the doorway crying. “I don’t want daddy! Mommy, you can’t die! I won’t let you die!” he demanded with angry eyes glaring at his mommy.

Covering her mouth, Annie shook her head to Jacky and mumbled, “Sweetheart…”

“You promised… Why do you have to be sick? I hate you… You always leave me behind!” Jacky screamed as he bawled. Rubbing on his eyes, Jacky darted up at his mommy one last time before he swiftly turned to run toward his room with heavy stomp.

“Jacky!” cried Annie, while feeling so guilty with what she is putting her son through. Ignoring her calling, Jacky had run into his room and loudly slammed the door shut. He quickly ran to hide under his blankets and cried loudly, while feeling really scared. Covering her mouth, Annie cried her heart out. Julian quickly pulled her in and protectively embraced her. “He hated me,” cried Annie.

“You know he didn’t mean it in that way,” assured Julian’s heavy voice. “He will be okay. Lets him cry it all out, it’ll help him cope better,” said Julian soothingly. Annie nodded, while she tightly embraced her husband. “Don’t worry too much, okay? We’ll go see Dr. Yip tomorrow. Maybe it’s not as bad as we thought,” said Julian with hope, but even he knows that the possibility is low.
………………

[Yak]

The doctor appointment had confirmed that Annie’s cancer has metastasized to her lungs and it’s spreading really fast to her other organs. Dr. Yip had staged her cancer being terminal stage. Without any treatments at all her doctor have diagnoses her to have less than three months of life. After Dr. Yip’s has announced Annie’s life expectance of three months max, Julian had requested for a long leaves from work behind Annie’s back. He no longer wants to waste any of his times away from his wife. He rather spends those times making Annie happy and comfortable for the rest of her days. Knowing that she won’t be able to change her husband’s mind this time, Annie didn’t object, especially since she too wanted to spend more time with her husband to cherish the limited amount of time they have left.

Jacky hasn’t been himself ever since that night hearing his mommy talking about death. He has become really quiet and wouldn’t talk if he could get away with it. It had gotten to the point where he said less than ten words out of the entire day. He has been clingy to Annie, where he followed close behind her and always wanted to sit right next to her, but he wouldn’t speak or talk about his feeling. It really worried Annie to see her son, who usually chuckles or laughs about everything to go by so many days without a smile. His appetites have been minimal and he kept having nightmares. He looked like he has lost ten pounds in ten days. His teacher has told Annie that he wouldn’t participate in class or play with other children during break. And once he comes home from school, he just sticks to Annie. Annie has tried to cheer him up, but Jacky would just stare at her with sad round eyes, while his mouth seems to be sealed shuts. Julian has tries to help Jacky understand, but it was no help.

Afraid that Jacky will become autistic if he continues to isolate himself like this, both Annie and Julian has decided to get Jacky help from a specialist. Now, Jacky is going to a children psychologist for two sessions a week, hoping that they will know how to help Jacky cope better. Over the two weeks, Jacky has shown some sign of improvement, but still he looked depressed. His psychologist has explained to Julian and Annie that it’s hard on Jacky to know that his mommy is dying and not exactly know when, therefore made him felt fearful each day and unable to let it go. The psychologist has assured that it’ll only be temporary in most cases of children trying to cope with death.

The psychologist describe it as a scary story where a monster is expected to come out in the very end of the story, but because no one know when the story will end, anticipation and fear of the monster or denying that there is a monster will heighten during the entire wait, but once the monster come out and end the story, then the anticipating fear will dissolve to let Jacky have a closing to his fear. It’s until then that he will be able to go through his grieving stage to accepting the fact and then recover to move on. In other words, Jacky will cope better after Annie’s death had become a reality to let him know that he can’t deny it being true and that the worst has happened, then he could move on to accepting and recover from his grieve. Oddly enough, the explanation gave Annie reassurance to some degree, knowing that her son will get better after she die.

Slowly, as time passed by, Annie has accepted her fate and became more focus with what she wanted to do with the limited time she has left. There are several things she wanted to cross off her ‘to do’ list before it’s her time to go. Among them, one was to give Jacky a chance to see his biological father. Even though, she had hated this man, but she doesn’t want her son to never know how his father looked like or what kind of a person he is. When she was young, it was suffering for her to live life kept wondering who her parents are; therefore she doesn’t want her son to go through the same wonder about his father. Annie is not planning to tell Jacky up front that the person she is taking him to see today is his real father. For now all she wanted was for them to have a chance to look at each other. She has planned to write a journal to explain the matter between her and his father past relationship thoroughly, but she wanted to ask Julian to keep it until Jacky is old enough to understand and had the need to know.

Walked to the coffee shop with a small art gallery next door, Annie paused and purposely insisted, “Julian, let’s have a rest here.”

Nodding, thinking that his wife had walked for too long of a distance and looking really anemic and weak, Julian suggested, “That’s enough strolling the city for today. After we take a relaxing break, we’ll go home for a rest. We’ll walk more tomorrow, okay?”

Chuckled with her faint smile and pale lips, Annie coughed and had a little short of breath. “Julian, it was,” she paused to catch her breath, “only half a block.”

“That’s a big block,” stated Julian, while Annie tiredly rolled her eyes. She knows that her strength has failed her, since even that half a block of slow walking causes her to huff and puff. She would not step out her home if she didn’t want to give her son an opportunity to see his father. Julian asked, “You want something to drink?” Seeing Annie looking toward the coffee shop, Julian reminded, “Doctor said no caffeine, since you’re pregnant… Well, maybe a little wouldn’t hurt…”

Annie chuckled, knowing that her husband’s heart would always weaken when it come to her, especially after knowing that she won’t have much time left to enjoy her life. He has become less strict just so she can enjoy her days with life’s little goodies such as chocolate, caffeine, and fried salty food. Playfully, Annie warned with her semi-serious tone, “Julian Cheung, you’re not being fair to Angel.” She paused to take a deep breath before she continues, “Order me a glass of milk and you get a cup of cappuccino, so I can at least sniff on the aroma.” Turned to her son, Annie asked, “Jacky, what you want daddy to order for you?” Still holding onto her hand, not willing to let go, Jacky shook his head, since he hadn’t feel like eating lately. Giving her son’s hand a squeeze, Annie decided to make the decision, “I think he’ll like a chocolate muffin and a kid size mocha blend.”

“Alright my love, I will be right back,” teased Julian cheerfully. He headed to wait in line to place their order.

Seizing the opportunity, Annie informed, “Julian, we’ll be next door at the art gallery.”

“What’s for? You don’t want your milk anymore?” asked Julian, who wanted to go everywhere his wife go to make sure she is okay and didn’t faint or anything like such.

“I do. You stay in line to order for me. I just wanted to look at some artwork that may help us fill up that big empty wall in our living room. Don’t worry, I’ll just be next door and I’ll be careful,” Annie promised. She didn’t exactly want her husband to know that she is taking her son to see his biological father.

“Okay,” hesitatingly replied Julian, not feeling too safe to let his eight-month pregnant wife walk around by herself, especially when she has a tendency to faint. He added, “Jacky, take good care of mommy.”

Rolled her eyes at her obsessively protective husband, Annie mumbled, “Trusting a seven-years-old more than me now, huh Mr. Cheung?” Her husband grinned widely with a nod. Making a face at her husband, Annie return and urged, “Come on Jacky. Let’s go for a small walk.”

Walked to the small art gallery, Annie bravely lifted her head up to look through the door. She saw a young teenage girl around thirteen sitting behind a desk. The girl is much taller then she last remembers and she still carries both the resemblance of her mother and father, something that Jacky lack, thought Annie as she gazed through the glass door. But she was thankful that her son resembles her more than his unfaithful father. With a deep breath to gather her courage, she pushed the glass door open and urged, “Jacky, step in. We’ll look at some artworks.”

Quietly, but very obedient, Jacky stepped in with Annie. Holding onto Annie’s hand, he looked around the small store with artworks covering all over the walls and stacked on the floor against the wall. Calmly, with one hand on her belly and the other holding Jacky’s hand, Annie walked around the store to look at the painting. A few of those painting brings back a lot of her memories. They were beautiful sweet memories of a naïve girl, who was ignorance to believe in true love between an eighteen-years-old and a twenty-nine-years-old.

Stepped out of the counter, the teenage girl walked up to Annie with a smile and greeted, “Welcome. Is there a certain piece that you’re looking for? Maybe I could help you find it.”

Looked at the girl, Annie could see some feature of him in her. Curious, Annie asked, “How old are you? How come you are here all alone?” She has always wanted to know her age.

Chuckled to her question, the girl happily replied, “I’m thirteen. My daddy is in the back…”

Before the girl can finish, his father has just stepped out and dropped a frame to the floor. His eyes gazed into Annie’s eyes and seem to be lost in deep thought. She has gown and matured beautifully, but a bit pale and fragile looking than he remembered. Seeing her being pregnant, he snapped out of his thought and softly greeted, “Annie.” Glanced down at her hand seeing a wedding band, he slightly frowned with disappointment. He softly asked, “You’re married?” He finally notices that Annie was holding to a young boys’ hand. He suspiciously looked at Jacky, uncertain if he is his son or not, especially since Jacky’s structure is small for his age.

Without a reply to any of his question, Annie just glanced down at Jacky and instructed, “Jacky said hi to uncle, sweetheart.” Her purpose was just to have her son seriously look up at his father, so that when she refers to him in her journal, Jacky will know who she is talking about.

“He’s Jacky?” asked the thirty-eight-years-old in surprise mixed with a bit of happiness, since it was the name that he picked for their unborn child before he left them.

Puzzled, Jacky looked up at his mommy wondering who this man is. “Go on,” urged Annie, without answering the man’s question or giving him anymore attention then necessary.

Glancing up to look at the man squarely on his face, Jacky softly mumbled, “Hi.” Seeing her son got a very good look of the father, Annie nodded in relief. Meanwhile Jacky’s father smiled and was about to go up to hold him, Annie quickly pulled Jacky behind her. Jacky anxiously looked at the man from behind his mommy.

Finally, giving the man her attention, Annie looked up at him with cold calm eyes. She spoke with an icy tone, “You had made a mistake.” Looked down at her son, Annie warmly instructed, “Tell Uncle your full name.” Annie nudged Jacky to step forward.

Looking up at the man, Jacky shyly said, “Jacky Cheung.” Dishearten, his father warm eyes kept at him unmoved. He is quite certain that the boy is his son.

Smiled, Annie nodded to her son and patted his head. Without a second look at the man that she once loved with all her heart and soul, Annie urged, “Let’s go, Jacky. Daddy is waiting for us with all the goodies.” Holding onto Jacky’s hand, she turned around to head out. Walking beside his mommy, Jacky curiously turned back to look at the man and the young teenage girl. He then turned back to look ahead.

Seeing them walking out and may never see them again, Jacky’s father quickly ran ahead and grabbed Annie’s elbow pulling her back. “Wait,” he begged. The sudden pull jerked Annie, causing pain to her abdomen. She moaned softly. Anxiously, the guy glanced at her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you okay?”

Shrugged him off, Annie scoffed, “Yes, I’m fine. Yours apologizes expired many years ago. There is no need for them now.”

“I didn’t mean to lie to you…”

“You didn’t mean to?” asked Annie with offensive eyes. Brushing it off, she shook her head and coldly exclaimed, “It doesn’t matter anymore, because you don’t mean anything to me anymore.” Gently tugged on her son’s hand, Annie instructed, “Let’s go Jacky.” With eyes curiously at the guy, Jacky nodded and followed his mommy.

Gently reached out to hold Annie’s elbow again, her ex-boyfriend regretfully apologized, “I’m sorry that I lied to you. I couldn’t leave her back then. I’m sorry, that I hurt you…”

His daughter looked at him and Annie confusedly, with a feeling of disappointment in her father. Since four years ago to the day that her mother died last year, she had always know that her mother is really angry with her father for some reason, now she finally realize what’s going on. Angered, she stepped up to Annie and scolded, “You’re why my mommy has been depressed all these years and die so unhappily!” Hatefully, she shoved Annie making her fall.

Annie felt a sharp pain to her back and belly, when she hit the floor. “Mommy!” cried Jacky.

“Ella! She is pregnant!” scolded her father, who quickly tries to help Annie up. The girl growled.

Shrugging the man away, Annie glared at him with hatred. Turned to her worry son, Annie assured, “Mommy is fine.” Moaned a little, Annie rubbed on her belly to ease the pain.

Angrily, Jacky stomped up to the girl and shove her back. “Don’t push my mommy,” he yelled. His half sister quickly pushed Jacky and made him hit his head onto a corner of a framed painting.

Seeing the girl about to hit her son, Annie quickly tries to get up. The father quickly pulled Jacky away to block him from his daughter. “Ella it’s not their fault! Your mother is the one that wouldn’t believe me when I told her that I no longer with Annie. She is the one that made herself depress all these years being so suspicious,” yelled the father.

Gotten off the floor, Annie quickly pulls Jacky back to check on him. “Are you hurt? Are you feeling dizzy?” she asked with worry. Jacky shook his head while rubbing the bump on his forehead. Turned to look at the girl in the eyes, Annie calmly exclaimed, “I’m not the one that you should be angry with.” Darted at Jacky’s father, Annie angrily scolded, “To this day, you still haven’t learns to take your own responsibility.” Calmed down not wanting to affect her baby, Annie coldly informed in a calmest manner possible, “I had to thanks you for leaving me, or else I wouldn’t met my wonderful loving husband.” Confusedly not able to grab what they are talking about, Jacky just kept looking back and forth between the adults and when his eyes land on the girl, he glared at her.

Just pushed the glass door open and walked in, Julian smile faded as he wonder what’s going on, since everyone seem to pause and stare at him with tension. “Annie is everything alright?” asked Julian. Seeing his daddy, Jacky cried and went to hug him. “Jacky, why is your forehead reddens?” concernedly asked Julian as he squatted down to have a closer look at his stepson’s forehead.

“Daddy, she hurt my head!” tattletale Jacky with glaring eyes at the girl. Seeing how his son turned to Julian and called him ‘daddy’, the man watched with sadness.

“What happen?” asked Julian confusedly as he looked at the girl and wonder why they got into a fight in the first place.

“It’s an accident,” assured Annie not wanting to further complicate thing. She is starting to question if she had made the right decision to bring Jacky here.

“No! She hurt mommy too!” protested Jacky with his straight arms and finger pointed at the girl, who face is as dark and as angry as him. Ella was about to yell back at Jacky, but her father has pulled her back and eyed her to shut her mouth. Julian looked at them without a clue.

“She didn’t mean to shove me. She was in a hurry and bumped into me. Jacky, thought that she did it on purpose and went to shove her, so she pushed him away and made him hit his head. It’s all just a misunderstanding,” assured Annie with a lie, not wanting her husband to get involve.

Hearing that Annie had fallen, Julian anxiously checked her out. “Are you hurting in anyway?” he urgently asked with concern written all over his face. Jacky’s father eyed Julian up and down to silently analysis him. His heart does felt sour to realize that she had found another man.

Chuckled softly, Annie exclaimed, “I’m fine. Our baby is fine. It did hurt a little when I hit the floor, but I don’t feel any pain now. You’re always overly worried. Seriously, I’m fine. She just accidentally bumped into me. No big deal.” She smiled at her husband with reassurance and asked, “Is our drinks ready?”

“Good thing that you’re not hurt,” stated Julian as he nodded and replied to her question, “Yeah, our drinks is ready.” Reached his hand out toward Jacky, who held it tightly, Julian squatted down to have a second look at Jacky’s forehead. He gave it a rub and caringly questioned, “Does it still hurt?” Jacky nodded with a pout and turned to dart at the girl. Chuckling, Julian teased, “Don’t be so petty. You’re a boy, remember? You need to forgive and forget.” Dropped his glaring, Jacky rubbed his bump as he pouted. Rubbing it for Jacky, Julian assured, “Don’t worry. It’s not bleeding. The pain and swelling will go away in a while. Maybe some ice cream will help?” With his big pout, Jacky nodded to the idea, making Julian chuckled.

“Sorry, she really doesn’t mean it,” said the owner of the gallery.

Julian looked up and quickly stood up with a shake of his head. “It’s alright, it’s just an accident. Don’t worry he will be fine in a while.” Turn around to take a glimpse of the artworks in the store. Julian curiously asked his wife, “Honey, you found one you like for our living room?”

Shaking her head, Annie casually replied, “No, nothing here matches well with our home. Let’s go, our baby is starving.”

Tired, Jacky whined in his soft weak tone, “Daddy, my forehead hurt. I don’t want to walk.”

“What does walking have to do with your forehead? You are so lazy,” teased Julian, who swiftly lifted Jacky up and let him sit on his shoulders. Lovingly, he placed his hand behind Annie’s back to guide her as they walked out together, while the man watches them walked out like a happy warm family, wishing he could be in Julian’s place. The daughter eyes inflamed from seeing her father looked so longingly at that pregnant woman. She stomped away to the storage room.
………………….

[Yak]

Later that night at ten, while her husband is cleaning up in the kitchen, Annie is in Jacky’s room tugging him into bed. Pulled her son’s blanket to snuggly cover over his shoulders, Annie notice he was looking at her with his tired vulnerable eyes. Motherly smiled at him, Annie urged, “Go to sleep.” Turn to lie on his side Jacky reached his small hand out to hold onto his mommy’s hand. Seeing her son being so awfully sweet and clingy lately made Annie felt harder to let go. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and offered, “You want another bedtime story?” Jacky shook his head and continue to look at his mommy with his weary eyes that wanted to sleep, but too afraid to close his eyes. He nudged his head closer to his mommy’s lap. “I love you,” she whispered with a faint warm smile.

“Love you too,” murmured Jacky as he nudged his cheek on his mommy’s lap.

Looking at her son sweet precious face, Annie softly chuckled to recall how he looked like a slimy white cheesy blob being handed to her by the nurse. Lacking the experience of childbirth and being a young mother who has day dream of a clean chubby smiling baby with large eyes, Annie wasn’t prepare for her freshly born son with the blood and slime. She has to honestly admit that her first impression of Jacky was that he is the ugliest baby she has ever lay eyes on. He definitely looked nothing like how adorable he is now, with those wrinkly fingers, oddly molded head, and puffy eyes. Annie remember that it was scary to hold him at first, since she felt like she will break him in half if she touches him. Like a blink of the eyes, Jacky seem to grow up so fast and understand so much now. It almost felt like yesterday when he was still a baby with little to no hair, now he have his own personality, temper, and stubbornness.

Gently pushed his hair away from his forehead, Annie whispered, “Sleep, we’ll have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Daddy is planning to teach you how to ride your bike without training wheels.” Tiredly let out a yawn, Jacky nodded and snuggled closer to his mommy’s lap before he finally shut his eyes. Slightly wiggling around, he nudged closer and lifted his head to sleep on his mommy’s lap. Warmly gazed at her son, Annie felt really loved and lucky to have such loving son and husband. Even though her life is short, she knows that if she gets to restart her life again, she will pick the same path, even to make the same mistake so she could have Jacky as her son and end up marrying her husband again.

She silently chuckled to herself, since her past memories always made her felt ignorance and immature. She recalls how it was for her to be a first time mother with a newborn infant. She lost her freedom to enjoy life without the need of second thought, since having a son meant including him into the equation of all her plan. When Jacky was a newborn, he drives her insane with the constant crying every two hours all night long wanting to be fed. Within a few nights she went from extreme aseptic where pacifier must be boiled when it drop to the floor, to the point where she just pick it back up and stuff it back into her baby’s mouth, so she can go back to sleep. Back then being just barely twenty-years-old, Annie had no clue that a baby is such a demanding monster. Having this sudden heavy responsibility tying her down, Annie had seriously thought of giving Jacky up to the orphanage for adoption. Luckily, she has second thought when she got to the orphanage remembering how unhappy she was being raise in there without her parents’ love.

Lovingly, Annie rubbed her son’s back to help him relax and ease into his sleep. Feeling an urge to cough, Annie tried hard to clear her throat to hold it in, but she weren’t able to control it. She covered her mouth to muffle out her cough. Just the first cough of Annie had made Jacky eyes instantly wide open with awareness. Annie begins to breathe labouredly as her coughs intensify. Knowing that if she kept hacking like this she will cough up blood again, Annie instructed in a hurry, “Go back to sleep. Mommy need to go get a glass of water. I’ll be back.” Moved her son’s head off her lap, Annie quickly hurried out her son’s room not wanting him to see her coughing blood.

Once again witnessing his mommy like this, made Jacky felt really scared. He quickly sits up with a worry heart stirring uncomfortably bringing tears to his eyes. It made Jacky angry to see his mommy sick and suffer like this. It made him question why there is no one to help his mommy get better. Getting off his bed, Jacky ran out of his room and followed the sound of his mommy’s coughing to the kitchen. There he saw his daddy is rubbing his mommy’s back while she is coughing over the sink. Frowned with anxious forehead, Jacky saw his mommy painfully clasping to her chest as she coughed up bright red blood.

Shaking his head in denial, Jacky’s tears dripped off his chins. He quickly turned to head back into his room, thinking that everything will go away and get better, if he just doesn’t look. He climbed to the inner corner of his lower bunk bed. Cornered himself against the walls, Jacky grabbed his stuff T-rex to tightly hugs it with all of his strength, that it actually made him tremor a little Not wanting to hear anymore of the coughing, he quickly pulled his blanket to cover over his head.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Julian steadied his wife when he saw her balance weakened. It made him worry to see her becoming very pale with dusky skin and shakiness. Easing her down to sit on the floor, Julian quickly went to pour her a glass of orange juice to give her sugar level a boost. “Here, tries to at least take a sip,” his gentle loving voice encouraged as he held the glass to Annie’s lips. They had been through this cycle so many times that it had become a reflex to Julian, knowing exactly what his wife will need.

After a few sip, Annie panted as she faintly smiled at her husband reassuringly. Glanced around the kitchen seeing the dishes washed, the stove scrubbed, the counter cleared, and a mop on the floor, she teased in a hoarsened weak voice, “Now you finally know what I used to do all day long. I kind of missed those days.”

Chuckled weakly, Julian reached his hand out to tenderly felt Annie’s pale face and lips that show a slight sign of cyanosis. Sensing her husband’s eyes deeply gazed at her with affection, Annie smile curved wider as she gently nudged her cheek against his palm. Missing her husband already, tears just kept flooding her eyes as she whispered ever so softly, “Sorry for making you work harder now. I’m not a perfect wife anymore…”

“Don’t be silly, you’re always perfect in my eyes. You’re my wife because you’re someone I love and someone who love me back, not because you’re a maid that cleans and cook for me,” said the loving husband with unmoved eyes kept on her. She smiled warmly with eyes drowning into his as she wondered what had she done in her past lives to deserve such a loving husband. Just having a chance to be with him, even that it’s less than a year, she still felt that her life had been fulfilled and worthwhile.

“You’re so beautiful,” he suddenly whispered so genuinely with eyes that kept on her unmoved. Without doubt to his sincerity, Annie silently chuckled, since she knows that she looked paler than a ghost. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious. You’re not only beautiful, but also very brave. I know our daughter will be just like you. Beautiful yet strong willed,” said Julian sincerely.

Rubbing her belly, Annie smiled with warmth and a twinkle of tears in her eyes. “Thanks. What would I do without you?” questioned Annie with a loved and touched long sigh. Her husband grinned with his pair of sweet dimples and dark dreamy eyes on her unmoved. They gazed at each other longingly until they heard soft sniffle and hiccup coming from Jacky’s room. Glanced toward the exit, Annie said as she tries to push herself off the kitchen floor, “I better go check on him.”

With one arms quickly reach across his wife’s shoulders from the back to stop her from moving, Julian slightly bended down to sneak his other arm under her knees and swooped her up into his arms. Carrying her out of the living room heading toward their bedroom, Julian ordered, “No, I wanted you to close your eyes and rest for a while. You’re turning really anemic. I’ll take care of him.”

Nodding with her arms around her husband’s neck, Annie agreed, “Yeah, you better go instead. If I go, we will end up bawling on each other. He always made me wanted to cry lately.” With a sigh, Annie whispered with guilt, “Though, I was the one that made him cried in the first place.”

Placed his wife down on their bed, Julian pulled the blanket to snuggly covered Annie. “Don’t worry, I’ll calm him down. I wanted you to clear your mind and just rest. Get me if you feel nauseated or needed anything at all.” Annie nodded and shuts her eyes to rest her aching body and head. She is beginning to feel her lower back pain radiating and a slight tenderness on the right spot of her belly, where she fell on this afternoon.

Walked over to Jacky’s room, Julian saw Jacky on his bunk bed leaning against the corner where two walls meet, with his blanket pulled to cover himself from head to toes. He notices that Jacky is quivering under his blanket. Calmly walked over to sit on his bed, Julian removed the blanket revealing Jacky tightly squeezing the life out of his stuff dinosaur with his tight anxious embrace.

Lifted his head up to see that it was his daddy, Jacky murmured in his teary faint voice, “Daddy…” Loosen his grip around his T-rex, Jacky quickly sprung over to wrap his arms around his daddy’s neck and embraced him tightly. His cry amplified as he shakily kept rubbing his face along Julian’s shoulder as he hiccupped.

Hearing Jacky’s crying more harshly, Annie couldn’t rest her heart to sleep. She quickly gotten out of bed and walked over to check on him. When she got to the doorway, Annie paused to look in. It made her heart heavy with guilt to see her son once again crying in distress all because of her. She watches her husband fatherly patted her son’s back as he nodded to her son’s crying. The scene touched her heart and warmed her eyes with tears.

Firmly holding Jacky close, Julian turned position and scooted over to lean against the wall. With Jacky’s tightly clinging on him, Julian soothingly rubbed and patted Jacky’s back trying to ease his discomfort, but he didn’t speak up to hush Jacky down. Knowing that it’s better for Jacky to let it all out rather than cooping it inside, Julian encouraged, “It’s okay to cry. There is no need to hide under your blanket to cover it up.”

Sniffled, Jacky stated, “I don’t want mommy to die. No one will love Jacky anymore…”

No longer can handle her broken heart after what she just heard her son said, Annie quickly covered her mouth with her hand and stepped away from the doorway to lean against the wall in the hallway, so her husband and son don’t see her crying too. She silently cried as she continued to listen.

Knowing that his love can’t be compare with Annie’s, Julian weakly exclaim, “You’ll always have me. I know daddy is not mommy, but you will always be loved forever. I promise you that.”

With tears blurring her vision, Annie slightly turned to glimpse into her son’s room. The sight of her loving husband hold and consoling her son made her felt warm knowing that he will know exactly how to make everything awful seem brighter. Can’t bear to see her son crying while she can’t promise anything to make him happy again, Annie turned to walk away.

Her speedy pace stopped at the nursery. Turned the doorknob, Annie pushed the door open and stepped into the lovely nursery. It was painted in her favorite color lavender with baby bottles, pacifier, and rattles patterned wallpaper trimming the top edge of the wall, where it met the ceiling. Releasing a big breath, she stepped in and walked up to the white crib. Gently, she runs her hand against the soft toys on the mobile. Looked down on her enlarged abdomen, Annie gently whispered, “After mommy left, you got to help mommy make your daddy and brother happy again. Let the day that mommy die be their last cry.”

Telling herself that things will get better for her husband and son in the future, Annie took in a deep breath to calm her sadness down. She reached to switch on the mobile. Within second the soft soothing sound of a lullaby filled the nursery and the mobile begin to rotate. The music help calm her nerves down. Annie placed her hand on her belly to softly brush it as she stepped over to the wooden rocking chair that her husband had brought her.

Gently rocking herself, Annie glanced down at her belly and gently strokes it as she wonders why Angel has been extra good today by hardly kicked during the entire evening. Just as she finished her thought, she felt a very weak kick from her daughter. She softly commented, “You never fail to move when there is music in the air. Maybe you’ll grow up to be a musician, but I won’t be able to see you perform though. Maybe I could hear you from heaven. Or maybe you wanted to be a doctor, who discovers a better cure for all cancers.” Annie took a deep sigh and murmured sadly to herself, “But mommy can’t be your first patient.” She dried a tear from the corner of her eyes as she let out a soft laugh, “I had once promised your daddy to not cry anymore. If only this promise is as easy as it sound...”

Shaking her head, Annie brushed her sadness away and said as she tenderly strokes her belly, “Happy thoughts, you deserve nothing but happiness. No matter what you choose to be, mommy only wanted you to be happy, okay?” Feeling little to no movement from her daughter, Annie exclaimed, “You must have grown out of room to move in there, huh? I bet you can’t wait to get out of there to stretch and meet all of us. I can’t wait to meet you too.” Sitting in the chair, Annie gently rocked herself as she gazed at the rotating mobile over the crib.

As she followed the moving mobile, Annie day dreamed how Jacky would be standing by the crib trying to make Angel laugh while her husband would be holding onto the video recorder. A faint smile glow when she pictures Angel being older and how she and Jacky would charge and demand their father to play horsy with them. She silently chuckled to imagine how the kids will pick on her soft hearted husband with Jacky wanting a piggyback while Angel clings to his chest in the front. A drop of her tear rolled off the realm of her eye when she see how her husband would pamper their daughter if Angel happen to trip and hurt herself, just like how he is pampering Jacky now. Not able to picture herself with them in any of the scenario, Annie pressed her lip tightly and swallowed down the hard lump in her throat. How much she would give to only grow old with her husband and watches her children grow up.

Meanwhile still clinging to his daddy, Jacky finally calmed down his crying a little as his weary body slumped on Julian. Exhausted, he snuggled on Julian’s shoulder and rested with tiny hiccups and sniffles every few seconds. He felt so much better and more at peace after released his emotion. He liked how his daddy patiently alternate between rubbing and patting his back in a continuous rhythm. Feeling secure with Julian holding him and patting him, Jacky weary eyes shut to rest his mind. He slowly drifted off and sleeps soundly. Julian continued to quietly pat Jacky’s back for a longer period of time to make sure he is in deep slumber before he removed him and tugged him into bed.

After tugged Jacky into bed, Julian silently walked out and closed the door behind him. The first thing he notice when he stepped into the hallway is the soft melody of the lullaby from the nursery. Knowing that it must be his wife unable to fall asleep, Julian headed over to the nursery. “Honey, it’s late,” said Julian, but his voice trailed off to silent when he pushed the door to step in and realized his wife has fallen asleep on the rocking chair with her arm drifted out dropping a journal onto the carpet. He saw Annie slightly shivered and draws her arms closer to her body. Shaking his head with a warm smile, Julian headed over to the crib to turn off the mobile and grab the handmade baby’s quilt. He quietly stepped up to Annie and gently covered her with the baby quilt.

Squatted down beside Annie, Julian silently watches her sleep with a sweet smile hung on his face. Since the first day they met, he has been fallen for her deeper by the day. She is special and perfect to him and no one could ever replace her position in his heart. Julian believes that it’s partially due to her terminal illness that had deepen their affection and made them cherish and understand each other more. He believes that if not because of this cancer that limit their time, they would be like other ordinary couples, who would excitedly get married and probably would be foolish enough to take time or the chance to have babies for granted. At time they would laugh, but at other they would argue for the littlest matter and forgotten that the true meaning of love is cherishing and accepting each other as is.

Quietly, he leaned in to gently place his ear against Annie’s abdomen to listen as his eyes remain on his wife. Unlike other nights, he couldn’t hear any kicking form his daughter. “You must be asleep too,” softly whispered Julian. He lifted his head away and returns to admire his sleeping wife.

Noticing the journal that his wife has been carrying around lately being on the carpet beside the rocking chair, Julian curiously picks it up. He glanced up at his wife questioning if he should read her personal journal. Seeing Annie had been secretly write in this book since the past month, it really tempted him to take a sneak peek. Unnervingly, he flipped the journal open and to the first page where he was about to read, but stumbled and dropped the book when he heard his wife stirring. “Honey,” he sheepishly called as he picked the book back up again.

Weakly smiled at her husband’s guilty conscience, Annie reached out to retrieve the journal. Looked down at the journal in her hand, Annie whispered, “This is for Jacky. It’s something that I can’t take with me to my grave.” Bravely, she looked up into her husband’s eyes and informed, “I did lie to Jacky when I told him that I had never seen his father after he left us.” Anxiously, her husband listened.

“I did saw him again in the street, when Jacky was almost two. He saw me with Jacky, but after a short glance, he hurried away with a woman and a young girl that was obviously much older then Jacky. I can’t comprehend the truth when it hit me that suddenly. I denied the fact that they are his family. For the next few days I had returned to the same spot with Jacky hoping to see him again and question him. It took about two weeks before I spotted him again and secretly followed him and watched him walked into his store to give that same woman a kiss. I can no longer fool myself when I finally heard him called her his wife and the child his daughter.” Scoffed a laugh at how foolish she was, Annie informed, “At that time his daughter is how old Jacky is now. I was so blinded to not see that he had lied to me for the two whole years that we dated...”

“It’s no longer matter,” assured Julian.

Annie glanced up at Julian and confessed, “I’m sorry that I hadn’t been fully honest with you. I purposely took Jacky to see him this afternoon. That store that I saw him walked into five years ago, is the art gallery I went into this afternoon…”

“Why…”

With her hand gently place on her husband’s hand, Annie assured, “It was only for Jacky’s sake. Ever since the time that I realize he is married and have his own daughter, I had lost all loving feeling for him. I just hated him. He made me felt so betrayed that he actually became my drive that made me wanted to do better than him and let him see that both Jacky and I could live a much better life without him. It was after seeing him that I was determines to go get my degree in Boston.” Scoffed another laugh, Annie admitted, “I guess I was childish back then to let him affect my thinking so much. Julian, I wanted you to know that I only went there this afternoon, because I wanted Jacky to get a chance to see his father, nothing more.”

“But Jacky is with us…”

“I know, I was not fair to you to let Jacky sees his own father behind your back, when you are his father now and a great one too. But, I just fear that one day in the future Jacky would question who his father is and I wouldn’t be around to tell him. After all he is Jacky’s father. Jacky might never want to know, but at least now if he does, he will know who, because in this journal I had explained that the man in the art gallery is his father. After the incident this afternoon, I’m sure Jacky will remember his face. I know Julian, I’m being unfair to you to not just drop the matter. I had thought of never bringing this up again, but…”

Sighed, Annie informed, “Julian, I had told you that I grew up in an orphanage. As an orphan, I had grew up kept wondering who my parents are. I don’t know if they are really bad irresponsible people or nice one that just can’t afford to keep me, I still had this need to know who they are, but I never found out since no one know them. When I was in the orphanage, all I could do is wish that one day they will return for me, than I get to see them and know how they looked like. I don’t want Jacky to feel this way about his father. I just don’t want Jacky to live with any regret of not knowing his father when he had the need to know. I’m sorry that I’m so selfish and always put Jacky before your feeling...”

Sighed, Julian weakly replied, “I understand…”

“Don’t worry, I hadn’t told Jacky that he is his father. He still knows nothing,” assured Annie. She handed her journal to her husband and requested, “I wanted you to keep this until there is a need to give it to Jacky. You are a great father to Jacky. I really don’t want anything to change between you two. But if in the future Jacky do ask about it, you can decide whether or not you wanted to let him read this journal. Either decision you make, I will agree to. You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t blame you if you decided to burry this journal forever.”

Nodding, Julian received the journal, he smiled and assured, “Don’t worry I respect Jacky’s own choice too. You did the right thing.”

Felt that she owe her husband a clarification, Annie gathered her courage to confess, “I lied to you when I told you that he is my high school sweetheart. He is not. He is much older than me and knows so much more.” Feeling ashamed, Annie dropped her head and informed, “He substituted my art class during my senior year of high school, when my teacher had a three months fraternity leaves. When I met him, I remember that it was about a month before my eighteen birthday, he was twenty-eight a college art graduate.”

Let out a short laugh at her naïve sense of attraction, Annie continued, “When he introduced himself as Alex Fong, he carried this deep calm gaze that made several of my classmates including my best friend dreamily sighed. At that moment I teased my best friend for having interest with the impossible. Ironically, I was the one that unknowingly became attracted to him. The way he talk with his seriousness really showed his passion for art. I was so fascinated with his talent, knowledge, and his charm. He had taught me so much and he was so patient and kind to me. He was the one that taught me to appreciate art as a way to express one self. He was really different and so much more mature compare to those schoolboys.”

“It was until the last week of his substituting that I found out he had been drawing portraits of me. From those drawing I sense his love and awareness toward me. He drew my eyes with such emotion that it had captured and touched my heart. I was pleased by the fact that he had affection toward me, especially since I had never dated anyone before him. My classmates that had admired him were not much of a help, since they are the one that made me felt so special to be loved by the one they all admired. At that time, I seriously did not think our age is a big problem, since he is handsome and in his twenty, while I’m heading into my twenty. I had always been mature for my age. Well, at least I thought so.” Paused, Annie regretfully murmured with shame, “He never told me that he is married and had a daughter. I guess, I didn’t ask either, I just assumed.”

“Annie, it’s alright, it’s in the past,” said her husband with a soft loving peck on her forehead.

Nodding, Annie apologized, “I’m sorry that I lied to you. I hope you don’t think I still have feeling for him. I really don’t. The thought of him just make me felt so foolish with the way I think back then. I don’t know what you would think of me to know that I would fall for a guy like him… After knowing that he is married, I was really ashamed…”

“Nonsense, it’s not your fault. He is the one that should be ashamed. I could really careless to who he is,” exclaimed Julian.

Sighed, Annie exclaimed, “I was so childish to believe that a college graduate would fall in love and willing to start a family with a high school graduate. We dated for almost two years before I found out that I was pregnant with Jacky. Two years, and I had no clue that he was married. I had always thought he lived with his parents and that his parents didn’t like us because I was too young for him.” Laughed at herself, Annie continued, “I have no idea which part of the beach I had buried my head into to believe such excuse. And to even think that being pregnant with Jacky will change his parents’ mind. I can’t believe he would just take off without explaining in anyway. And how dare he think that he had nothing to do with his wife’s depression? He probably don’t even think he did anything wrong to leave Jacky and me!”

“Shh…” hushed Julian when he notices Annie is getting angrier as she talked about Jacky’s father. “It’s in the past. He can never hurt you again,” assured Julian.

Nodding with a grateful smile, Annie leaned forward to hug her husband. “Thank you for loving me and giving me the happy family that I had always wished for. You had fulfilled all my dreams. To think of it, I do have to thanks him or else I wouldn’t have Jacky and I would never be in Boston, which meant I would never have met you. I love you so much,” whispered Annie with a warm smile.

With a warmed heart, Julian sweetly grinned and tilted his forehead forward to rest against his wife’s forehead. He whispered, “I had to thanks him too.” Intimately, he gave his wife a longing kiss.
………………

[Yak]

Woke up early the next morning at six, holding onto his T-rex, Jacky got off his bed dragging his pillow and blanket along with him. He swiftly walked to the closed master bedroom door. Opening the door a slit to glimpse in, he softly called, “Mommy…daddy…” Seeing them both being asleep not hearing him, Jacky quickly stepped into the room pulling his blanket all the way in and shut the door.

The sound of the closed door woke Julian up. With blurry vision, Julian glanced over to see Jacky with his stuff dinosaur, his large pillow, and flee blanket. Softly chuckled at him, Julian gestured him to climb into bed by patting on the spot between him and his sleeping wife. Grinned happily, Jacky hurried over and climbed into bed with his daddy helping him with his large blanket. Cozily Jacky nested between his daddy and mommy. Seeing that his mommy is asleep and can’t give him any attention, Jacky turned his body to face his daddy. He lifted his head over to lie on his daddy’s big fluffy pillow. Smiled at him, Julian scooted his pillow a bit more toward Jacky as he urged, “Go back to sleep, it’s only six.” Nodded with a yawn, Jacky shuts his eyes and within a minute he had fallen back asleep.

When Julian’s gaze land on his peacefully sleeping wife; his smile glows. It was unusual of Annie to be able to sleep this deeply into the day, since she usually would get woken up by her coughing or shortness of breath. Julian didn’t remember or notice his wife having to wake up in the middle of last night either, not even to use the bathroom, which is unusual. Curious with a bit of worry, Julian reached over to gently nudge Annie on the shoulder hoping to get a response out of her.

Slowly stirred, Annie fluttered her eyes open toward the direction of her husband. “Hm?” she softly murmured with eyes gazed down at her husband. She then realized that Jacky is soundly asleep between them. “How come he is here?” she softly muttered.

“He just came in,” explained Julian as he moved his head to feel his wife’s forehead and cheeks, since her hand is a bit warmer than usual. “Are you having a fever?” he asked with a hint of urgency, since it was a big deal that the oncologist had stressed about during period where she is receiving chemotherapy.

“A little bit warm,” she muttered. Turned to lie on her left side to face her husband, Annie weakly chuckled and assured, “I’m okay, go back to sleep. We promise to take Jacky out to bike, but let not do that until much later, I’m so sleepy…”

Quietly laughed at his wife, Julian smirked, “You sleep like you haven’t slept for years.” Nodding to him, Annie dozed off to sleep again. Still concerned, Julian reached over to feel Annie’s forehead again, while she softly murmured in her sleep. It felt awfully warm to him. He still remembers that the oncologist had educated him about one of the side affect of the high potency chemo-drug is that it kill off white blood cells leading a suppressed immune, which mean higher susceptibility to infection. Julian is uncertain if fever is still a big sign of problem, since his wife hadn’t have chemotherapy for almost half a year.

Not wanting to take a risk, he quickly got out of bed to head for a thermometer. Shaking the glass thermometer, Julian returned to Annie. He seated at the edge of the bed right next to his wife and helped her sit upright to lean on him. Woken up by her husband again, Annie confusedly questioned, “Julian, what are you doing? Go back to sleep…”

“You feel really hot to the touch. Just open your mouth for me,” he instructed as he scooted himself to sit behind his wife and let her lean on him more comfortably. Tiredly, Annie slump her shoulder and gazed up at her worry husband with her drowsy eyes. After gotten the thermometer ready, Julian held it close to Annie’s lips and gestured her to part her lips.

Obediently, Annie opened her mouth to let her husband take her temperature. Sighed at her husband, Annie mumbled with her sealed lips, “I’m okay, just a bit warm. It’s probably because of all of these blankets. Don’t worry too much.”

“Don’t talk, the reading won’t be accurate. I’ll let you go back to sleep afterward. It won’t take long,” Julian promised as he held his wife’s thermometer in place. Nodding, Annie tilted her head up to look at her husband. Seeing him care about her so much made her smiled with warmth. Snuggled on her husband, she drowsily dozed back asleep.

After five minutes Julian pulled the thermometer out of Annie mouth and flexed it in an angle to read the temperature. “101.6,” he softly murmured to himself as he wonders if this is high enough for concern. He gently scooted back and helped his wife lie back down on her pillows. Julian then quickly and quietly went to grab an ice bag to place on Annie’s forehead before he went to call her doctor to ask about it.

The nurse that answered Julian’s call assured him that it’s a low grade fever and since Annie had discontinued chemotherapy for this long that it shouldn’t be a side affect of it. But since Annie is a cancer patient and also pregnant, the nurse is more caution and instructed Julian to take Annie’s temperature every one hour and take her to the emergency room if it reach higher than 103. She had also helped Julian scheduled an appointment for his wife to see the doctor in the afternoon to check it out just in case it’s something more than a cold. Listened to the advice, Julian has gotten Annie up every one hour to take her temperature and change the ice bag. Annie was a bit agitated by him constantly interrupting her sleep, especially when she wasn’t able to sleep this well for so long.
……………….

Three hours later, the smell of breakfast made Jacky’s stomach growled and woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and murmured, “Bacon…” Cleared his mind, Jacky realize that his daddy is missing, while his mommy is still asleep beside him. Seated upright, Jacky leaned over to nudge his mommy and informed, “Mommy wake up, daddy fried bacon. Mommy?”

“You go eat, let mommy sleep some more. Can you two father and son just let me sleep peacefully? Go eat breakfast. Be a good boy,” Annie drowsily mumbled back without opening her eyes. She had never felt this exhausted in her life and her fever is making her feeling uncomfortable with ache all over.

Pouted, Jacky nudged again and stated, “But mommy the sun is up already. Aren’t we going to bike?” Jacky attention averted to the door when it open. “Daddy, mommy won’t wake up,” he complaint as he continue to nudge Annie.

Walking over to Annie to feel her cheeks, Julian informed, “Mommy isn’t feeling that well today…”

Tiredly yawning, Annie opened her eyes to gaze at her husband with a weak smile. She playfully asked in her weak voice, “Who say I’m not feeling well? I’m just sleepy, because you wouldn’t let me enjoy my wonderful dream.” She pulled her husband hand off of her forehead and gave his hand a soft assuring peck. “How am I doing doctor?” she teased with faint grin.

“Heating up, but at least it’s pretty steady around 102,” replied Julian with a worry sigh and warning eyes on his wife for taking it lightly. “Are you hungry? I made you some plain congee…”

“What? Plain congee? I was dreaming of stir fry macaroni with ham and sunny side up eggs. I don’t want to wake up now,” pouted Annie childishly to tease her husband.

With appetite that had gotten better, Jacky stomach growled to the thought and he exclaimed, “I want stir fry macaroni too with lots of Ketchup.”

Chuckled at them, Julian offered Annie, “You could have one of my sausages. Open wide again.”

Listened Annie held the thermometer as she tries to sit up, but it was not an easy task ever since her belly had grown. Turned to Jacky, she held her hand toward her son and requested in a mumble, “Help pull mommy up.” Jacky pulled hard but weren’t strong enough that he end up fallen backward onto the bed, which made Annie chuckled.

“Don’t drop the thermometer,” warned Julian in a chuckle as he held it in place for her. After the five minutes, he pulled the thermometer out and takes note of the reading before he pull his wife upright and leaned in to share a short morning kiss with her. When Julian was about to back off, Annie playfully pulled on her husband pink apron that was originally her, to steal a longer kiss.

She finally let him go and playfully teased with a smirk, “I always like you in pink. Make you look so sexy…”

“Grrr…” teased Julian with his rolled tongue, while Jacky slapped his face with his two palms covering his eyes, but peeking through in between his fingers. Laughed, Julian leaned over to tickle his son as he told his wife, “Breakfast is ready. Congee for you, sausage and scramble eggs for me, while waffle and bacon for this little munchkin.”

Laughed, Annie yawned, “I can’t believe I’m still sleepy. It was such a great sleep though. I slept so deeply that I didn’t even feel Angel moved the entire night.”

Pulling his laughing son upright, Julian instructed, “Hurry go brush up with mommy before mommy falls back asleep, then we’ll never get out of the door today.” His wife rolled her eyes at him with a ‘ha ha’ expression. While Jacky quickly hopped to the bathroom with Annie, Julian returns to the kitchen to serve his food.

With a hand supporting her back, Annie is being dragged on the other hand by her son, pulling her toward the dinning table. After a few spoon of her congee, Annie stopped eating. She felt stuffed and nauseated. With amuse she watches her husband and son rapidly racing to finish their breakfast. “I’ll laugh if either one of you get choke,” she warned with a hint for them to stop their silly game. Annie knows that her husband could be such a big kid sometime.

At time she believes that if it weren’t for her illness, her husband wouldn’t be as serious and responsible with taking care of the family. He would be more of a goofball, who tease and joke all the time. When they were dating, Annie had always knows that her husband is an active and outgoing person. He loves any type of sports and going out, no matter if it was for a simple movie, late midnight snacking, or hiking and camping. But now he had given all of those up to spend all of his times home to take care of her. Back then, Annie weren’t able to picture her husband doing housework or cooking, but because of her illness he had taken care of all of those responsibilities. She knows that he had changed and scarified a lot for her. Now, Annie only hope is that in her next life she can do the same for him.

Laughing, Julian placed his hand over Jacky’s plate to stop him from continuing to stuff his mouth rapidly. “Mommy say stop,” he laughed at Jacky, who is having a hard time chewing with his mouth stuffed wide open with waffle.

Gagged Jacky coughed and quickly spitted out all the food in his mouth and onto his daddy’s hand, who didn’t expected that coming. “I told you someone will choke,” exclaimed Annie. She laughed with great amusement at her husband disgusted and grossed out expression, while she patted her son’s back to calm his coughing down.

“Ewww…” commented Jacky, who begin to laugh at the faces his daddy is making after he had controlled his airway and calmed his coughing.

“What are you ‘ew-ing’ and laughing about? You made this mess,” scolded Julian with chuckle as he playfully shoves on Jacky. Wiped his hand clean with a napkin, Julian helped Jacky wipe his mouth.

Sighed with great relief, Annie watches the two boys laughing at each other as they rough played with each other. It had been such a long time since she heard her son’s laughter or even her husband. She was greatly pleased to hear them again. Not feeling like eating so plainly, Annie sneakily steals another sausage from her husband’s plate.

Noticing, Julian stopped fooling around and asked, “Is the congee really that bad? You only ate a few spoons.”

“I’m not that hungry…”

“You’re eating my sausages,” reminded Julian. His wife scrunched the bridge of her nose at him as she munched on the sausage, making him chuckled.

“Seriously, I don’t feel that hungry. I’ll eat later in the park,” suggested Annie. Her taste-buds felt so dull and tasteless that not even the sausage could help with her appetite. She also felt really strange that her daughter isn’t as active as how she used to be during breakfast.

“It’s probably because of your fever. Oh, I’m taking you in to see Dr. Yip this afternoon at three…”

“What? Aren’t we strolling the park to teach Jacky how to ride his bike?” asked Annie with disappointment, since she would much rather spend her times elsewhere then to get nagged by her oncologist. Continued to eat what left of his food, Jacky listened attentively when he heard something about biking and his mommy needing to go see the doctor again. “You know he’s going to make me stay in the hospital for a full checkup again,” Annie whined.

“It’s better than not knowing what’s going on that causes your fever,” restored Julian. He gave his wife shoulder a squeeze as he encouraged, “It won’t take long and it’ll make you feel better if he could get rid of that fever for you. We still have time for the park before the appointment.”

Chuckling, Annie replied, “If the fever made me sleep that well, I don’t mind having it.” She felt a soft kick from her daughter and made her smiled with a bit of relief. “Angel kicking has been so much weaker. Do you think it’s because she is running out of room? I bet she can’t wait to come out.” Sweetly smiling, her husband reached over to place his hand on her belly. She guided his hand to a better spot. They both sweetly smiled at each other when they felt a gentle kick.
……………….

Near noon, Julian drove them to a larger park several blocks east of their apartment, where there is a biking trail. Parked their car, Julian went to get his and Jacky’s bicycle out of the trunk, while his wife helped Jacky out of the car. “Ready to learn how to ride your bicycle like a big kid?” asked Julian as he closed the trunk.

A bit nervous, Jacky only nodded slightly as his mommy helped him with his helmet. Julian kneeled down to help Jacky put on his knees pad. “Why do I have to wear these? No one in the park is wearing them,” whined Jacky feeling a bit embarrassed to be all padded up on his head, knees, elbows and gloves on his hands.

“Because it make you look cooler than everyone else,” winked Julian, while Annie chuckled to his answer. He elbowed his wife and warned with a clearing of his throat.

Stopped chuckling, Annie bended down to peck her son on the cheek and commented, “Daddy’s right, it make you look really cool and handsome, just like your daddy. Let go stroll around the park?” Jacky nodded. While her husband is moving his bike to the sidewalk, Annie helped Jacky with his bike that still had the training wheels attached. Gotten her son on the bike and set to go, Annie instructed, “Follow behind us and don’t go off the sidewalk, okay? When we get to the bike trail, daddy will help you remove those training wheels.” Readjusting his helmet, Jacky nodded.

Meanwhile Julian whistled and teased, “My dearly beloved wife I’m waiting under the hot blazing sun like sizzling bacon.”

Chuckling, Annie walked over to her husband’s bicycle and he helped her up to sit behind him. Annie snuggly wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist and leaned on his back. She took a deep breath of the warm air of the extra warm winter day. It felt so good to be out of the flat once in a while, especially when she had been feeling overly fatigue for the past few days. “It’s such a warm day. Wouldn’t it be nice if every winter days is like this? We can go biking each day,” commented Annie wishfully, even though she knows that she wouldn’t have the energy to go out each day even if her wishes come true.

“If you would take turn paddling next time,” teased Julian, who quickly got a hard pinch on his side. “Ow… I’m just kidding. Okay, ready?” asked Julian, who begin to takes off.

“Jacky follow close,” Annie instructed. She turned to her husband and warned, “Not too fast and bumpy please.”

“Of course, if I don’t look after you at least I still got to look after my precious Angel,” teased her husband. Unhappy with his answer, Annie playfully gave him a second pinch. “Ow!” yapped Julian as he tried to keep his balance. Annie laughed with amuse. “You wouldn’t be laughing if we both fall,” commented her husband. Giving her husband a tight embrace around his waist, Annie sighed and leaned on her husband back closing her eyes to enjoy the warm sun ray toasting her cheeks. She just love warm day during the winter, since it won’t be too hot or cold.

“Daddy, you ran over a snail!” screamed Jacky as he quickly turned his bike away from running over that poor thing again.

Jacky voice startled Annie to open her eyes and just in time to witness him screaming as he ends up running off the sidewalk heading into a bush. “Jacky just stop paddling!” instructed Annie, but it was too late, her son had run himself into a bush. Laughing, Julian quickly stopped and backed up to Jacky. Annie quickly gotten off the bike and ran up to help get her son bike off of him. “Are you okay?” she asked with a trail of laughter.

Pouting, Jacky nodded while his mommy is dusting dirt and tiny leaves off of him. With eyes darted at Julian, Jacky grumbled, “Daddy ran over and killed the snail! He is dead…” Tears quickly made his pair of eyes glassy. Jacky doesn’t want to see anything dying, ever since he knows his mommy is going to die.

Laughing, Julian parked his bike and approaching them. Laughed, Annie nodded to her son complaint as she dried his thin tears. She assured, “Daddy didn’t mean to, he didn’t see it. Don’t cry silly boy. Look at you your arms are all scratched. Is it hurting really badly?” Shaking his head and while continued to glare at his daddy, Jacky stepped forward to hug his mommy tightly not willing to let her slip out of his arms. Starting to see the reason behind her son’s upset, Annie lovingly assured, “Its’ okay, mommy is here.” She removed her son to look at him in the face. Wiped her son’s tears away and still see him glaring at her husband, Annie couldn’t help but chuckle. “Don’t be so petty. Daddy really didn’t mean it,” encouraged Annie.

Can’t help but laugh, Julian squatted down beside Jacky and apologized, “Sorry lor, daddy can’t see the tiny snail from up high. Next time, you warn me okay? Jacky when you wanted to stop, you could have just stops paddling rather than running into a bush like that.” Chuckling, Julian teased, “If you going to crash into a bush every time you see a snail or a bug, I got to reconsider about taking those training wheels off.”

“It’s not funny!” grouchily stated Jacky as he kicked the grass.

Elbowed her husband to stop his teasing, Annie nodded to her son and stressed, “Daddy, it’s not funny!” Facing her husband, she silently chuckled within. Tilted her son’s chin up to face her, Annie encouraged, “It’s alright, don’t pout anymore. We are here to have fun, right? Let just walk it off and start over alright?” Jacky nodded.

Helped Jacky back on the sidewalk again, they ride their bike to the bike trail. Annie found herself a spot to sit on a big rock under a giant tree to observe her husband teaching her son how to ride the bike without the training wheels. It made her chuckle each time Jacky screamed for Julian not to let go of the bike, but each time her husband would let go anyway.

“Mommy! Mommy look!” hollered Jacky excitedly when he is getting a hang of it.

Joyfully watching, Annie hollered back, “You’re doing great!”

Hearing Annie’s voice Jacky turned his head back, while Julian yelled, “Jacky look ahead! You’re turning your bike when you turn your head.” Jacky was having trouble balancing himself, since he did turned the bike a bit as he turned his head. Julian quickly dashed over hoping to hold him steady, but he was a few second too late.

“Ahh!” screamed Jacky from the top of his lung as he lost balance and fallen again.

Anxiously, Annie watched from afar to see her husband helped her son up and checking his legs and arms by bending them. She was relieved that Jacky seem to be okay and quickly gotten back onto the bike to try again. Waved at them, Annie hollered, “Be more careful!” Jacky looked toward her way and waved as he nodded. Yawned, Annie leaned back to rest on the giant tree trunk as she watches them continue to practice. Before she realize, she has fallen asleep.

An hour later, both Jacky and Julian pushed their bike and walked up to Annie. Worriedly, Julian felt Annie’s forehead and sense that her fever elevated again. Gently patting on her cheeks, Julian called, “Honey, wake up. Annie?”

Slowly stir, Annie blinked her blurry vision and smiled to see her husband. “Done already?” she questioned, while her husband nodded. Looked down from the rock at her son, Annie asked, “How did you do?”

“Bad,” stressed Jacky unhappily. Pouting, Jacky stated, “Daddy gave up and put my training wheels back on.”

Chuckling, Julian explained, “You did fine. It’s just your first lesson. I’ll take those wheels off after you get a better grip of it. You’re getting tired, so we’ll try again tomorrow.” Turned to his wife, Julian caringly asked, “How are you feeling? You sleep awfully lot today.” He reached his hand out to help Annie get off the rock.

“I’m okay, just a bit sleepy and exhausted. Are we heading back to the car, already?” asked Annie.

Nodding, Julian suggested, “Yeah. Should we go for lunch? I know a good restaurant nearby. Here let me help you get back on the bike.”

“Let walk for a while. I feel like moving around so I’m not lying or sitting all the time. We’ll walk to our car?” requested Annie. Nodding, Julian begins to push his bicycle. Coiling her arms on her husband’s arm, Annie walks beside him, while Jacky is paddling his bicycle ahead of them. “What should we do tonight?” she asked as she walked the park with her husband. “I hope I don’t have to spend it in the hospital. But knowing Dr. Yip, I’ll probably will,” she commented with a frown.

“Either way, I’ll spend the night with you,” sweetly stated Julian with a grin and a wink.

Annie rolled her eyes at her cheesy husband. She suddenly got an idea and suggested, “Let go watch a movie. We haven’t goes out for a movie for a long time.” She suddenly felt a strong pain and gasped as she immediately stopped walking. It was not her usual back pain that she had grown to tolerate. “Ooo…” moaned Annie as she held her breath in surprise.

Anxiously, Julian asked with concerned brows, “What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Are your legs numbing again?”

“No, no, I’m okay. Angel just kicked me really hard,” she informed, since she weren’t really sure what she believe she felt was real. When the pain subsided, she smiled thinking that it was just a false alarm. Looked at her husband with her sweet reassuring grin, Annie stated, “I’m fine now. What were we talking about?”

“Movie,” said Julian as he paid closer attention to Annie’s now as they continued their walk. About five minutes later, Annie gasped again to another pain and stopped moving. She wasn’t really sure what she felt was right during the first pain, but now she is quite certain. Annie begins to take in deep breath and releasing it slowly. Concernedly, Julian asked with urgency, “What’s going on? Are you having shortness of breath?” He worriedly brushed her back and feeling her forehead to check if it’s her fever that causes her discomfort.

Shaking her head while widen her eyes dauntingly, Annie exclaimed in an unnerving voice, “I think I’m having contractions.” It kind of frightens her, since she didn’t expect an early delivery. She is worry for her daughter’s health.

“Contraction? What you mean contraction?” confusedly asked Julian, who can’t register the thought, since he had never thought it could be this early.

“I mean I’m in labor,” growled Annie in a panic, while she felt another one that is stronger. She doesn’t remember it being this closely apart and intense when she was in the early stage of labor with Jacky back then.

“Labor! What you mean labor?” screamed Julian as he dropped his bike to give his wife his full attention.

Rolled her eyes while trying to control her pain and anxiety, Annie snapped, “Labor as in the consequent of being pregnant with your baby!”

“But…but…it’s not your due date yet. We still have more than a month and a half away from it… We’re not ready for her! Maybe this is a false alarm…yes this must be a false alarm… I read in a book that these things happen,” denied Julian as his heart pounded not really ready for this yet. Meanwhile, Jacky turned around and realize his parent had stopped walking, so he quickly turned his bike and paddled back.

Clinched to her belly, Annie hissed to the intensifying pain, which she know it shouldn’t be this fast. “Julian, something is not right. The frequency of the contraction is too fast and it’s more painful than I remember…” paused she took in a deep breath and suddenly felt fluid running down her legs. She quickly glanced down and saw a puddle of clear fluid on the pavement.

Meanwhile, Julian kept questioning, “Are you sure you are in true labor? The book mention false labor pain is pretty strong too…”

Irritated by her panicking husband, Annie pushed his head down to look at what she is staring at. “I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR BOOK SAY, JULIAN! This is real! My water just broke!” scolded Annie in a scream as she started to sense fear and anxiety drilled deep into her soul. Not knowing why her contraction is not slow and steady like how it was during her first pregnancy made her really nervous.

“Our baby is coming?” he yelled and declared, “I need to take you home…no, I mean…I mean to the doctor… no, we need to get to the hospital!”

“Help me down on the ground now, hurry,” she requested urgently.

“What? Here? You can’t have our baby here!” protested Julian in a panic, since he had never seen a labor before, not even on TV. He did read about it, but at the moment none of the material register in his mind.

“I’m not! I’m in pain and need to sit down. Just help me down first,” instructed Annie grouchily. Her past birth experience suddenly hit her and reminded her of all the horrible long hours of pain she had forgotten. She begin to get anticipated about the birth process that she will go through again really soon. Fumbling nervously, her husband helped her down to the ground. She tries to calm herself as much as possible with deep breathing, while she watches Julian pacing in front of her even more panicked than she is.

Curiously, Jacky asked as he paddled closer to his mommy, “Mommy why are you on the ground and breathing so funny?”

“Mommy is just having a baby…no big deal,” she assured more to herself than Jacky. Jacky puzzlingly stare at his mommy wondering what she meant by that. Since he had already knows for many months ago that his mommy is having a baby. Seeing her son’s confused look, Annie explained in his term, “Angel is arriving to see you.”

Excited, Jacky quickly gotten off his bike as he curiously asked, “Angel is coming? When?”

Annie nodded to her son, while she looked up at her husband, who seems so frustratingly lost. When she felt her son nudging her for a reply, she answered, “When daddy takes mommy to the hospital to have her.”

Not knowing what to do, Julian mumbled as he paced, “Angel is coming… Oh my gosh what date is today? You’re in labor. We got to get you to the hospital… No, we don’t have the bag… Your packed bag for delivery is at home. We need…we need to get home to get that first… But we are not ready for Angel, we still haven’t buy any diaper…”

Growled, Annie yanked on her husband pant to get his attention. Julian quickly squatted down behind her and held her hand, while he dap her forehead with his sleeves to dry her sweat. Breathing deeply, Annie grumbled as calmly as she could contain herself, “Honey, forget about those stuffs. Just get me to the hospital. Call Dr. Cho and have her meet us in the hospital.” Paused to look at her husband, she grinned anxiously and excitedly said, “Honey, we’re having our daughter today.”

“I’m feeling dizzy and I don’t seem to be breathing,” commented Julian, who feeling a bit overwhelm.

“You’re hyperventilating,” exclaimed Annie in a chuckle as she pulled her husband’s toward her to give him a peck on his lips. She teasingly pleaded, “Please don’t make me more nervous than I am already. And don’t panic more than I am panicking, okay? Just relax, you’re doing great.” Giving him a second peck, Annie assured, “Don’t worry, I had been through this before. Don’t panic too much, I think I still have time, so just safely drive me to the hospital after you call Dr. Cho.” Nodding anxiously, Julian gave Annie a kiss before he quickly called his wife’s obstetrician.
…………………..

[Yak]

Carrying his wife in his arms, Julian dashed into the emergency room with his son excitedly trailing close behind him. His sudden barging into the emergency room causes many eyes of patients and nurses to land on them. Urgently, Julian declared in one big breath, “My wife is in labor! It’s not even her due date yet! She needs immediate attention! Which room should I carry her to? I had called Dr. Cho to come. Had she arrived?” Turning a bit blue, Julian gasped loudly for air, causing Annie to chuckle in between her deep controlled breathing.

“Julian relax,” she ordered feeling a bit embarrassed that everyone is curiously looking at her.

Two nurses are urgently running up toward her. “Are you bleeding? Had your water broke?” asked one of the nurses as she pushed a wheelchair over.

“How many weeks of gestation are you? At what time did your contraction begin?” asked the other one.

“No…”

Cutting his wife off, Julian answered in a speedy fashion, “No bleeding, but she is in pain! And a lot of fluid poured out of her!” Meanwhile Jacky glanced back and forth at the talking adults as he anxiously stepped up closer to his daddy and tightly held onto the edge of his jacket. He is clueless to what they are talking about; all he knows is that he is going to get a sister today.

“Honey, calm down!” demanded Annie. She groaned with her eyes squinted shuts when she felt another hard contraction, but it was one that diminished quickly. “Put me down on the wheelchair first,” instructed Annie as she patted her husband gently on the chest to reassure him. Nodding, Julian carefully set Annie down onto the wheelchair with the help of one nurse, while the other one locked the wheelchair in place and stand behind it to keep it in place.

Scooted herself more comfortably, Annie answered, “I’m almost 34 weeks into my pregnancy. My water broke at the time of my contraction, which started about thirty to forty minutes ago. The contraction started out being very strong and very close to each other. And no I’m not bleeding.” She glanced up at her husband and back to the nurses, “Sorry, he tends to get a bit overly anxious. This is his first experience.”

Chuckling, one of the nurses assured, “It’s a good sign of a great loving father to be.” Look over to Julian, the nurse said, “But it’s better for you to calm down and don’t worn yourself out too soon. It’ll be a long day and your wife will need your support throughout. Could I have you come with me to admit your wife and fill out some medical history forms.”

Nodding, Julian removed Jacky’s hand and turned to instruct him, “Jacky, be a good boy. Stay here and take care of mommy, okay? Daddy need to go check mommy into the hospital.” The two nurses curiously looked at Julian and Jacky, since they thought Annie just hinted that this is their first pregnancy. They didn’t want to interrupt to ask for clarification, especially when it’s irrelevant to the care of the newly admitting patient.

“Don’t worry daddy, I’ll take good care of mommy,” promised Jacky with a proud grin.

Followed after the nurse, Julian questioned with a bit of disappointment, “But shouldn’t one of the ER’s doctors take a look at my wife first? I could always take care of paperwork while the doctors are attending to her.”

“We usually don’t deliver the baby in an ER setting, unless it’s a traumatic emergency situation. Beside it’ll be very uncomfortable and distracting for your wife to have a delivery here, especially if it’s going to be a long delivery. While you admit your wife into the hospital, I’ll phone the Labor and Delivery unit to send someone down to transfer your wife over to that unit. Trust me, your wife will prefer having her own birthing room, where she can relax and focus on her labor. If you prefer, you’ll be able to stay with her in her birthing room to support her too,” assured the nurse as she directed him to the admission desk.

Meanwhile seeing his daddy has walked off, Jacky turned to his mommy and anxiously held her hand. Assuredly smiled at her son, Annie gave him a nod to tell him that she’ll be just fine. “Mommy, we’re at the hospital already, when are we going to pick Angel up?” Jacky curiously asked, since he still hadn’t gasps onto the concept of where baby came from.

Chuckling, Annie mumbled, “Silly boy, mommy is here to have Angel, not to pick her up. She is in mommy’s tummy remembers? She’ll be out today though…” Annie is beginning to feel a little bit uncomfortable as the contraction persisted. It felt really unstable with different intensity and duration, which is very unlike her first pregnancy.

“Out of mommy’s tummy? How?” curiously asked Jacky with a puzzled look. His face suddenly brighten up and answered his own question, “From the belly button, huh? That’s why we all get a belly button.”

The nurse that stayed with Annie started to laugh, which made Jacky felt a bit embarrassed. He beamed at her with a pout. Her son’s expression just made Annie softly chuckled. Seeing Jacky’s offended look, the nurse quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you. You’re just so adorable. What’s your name? And how old are you?”

Pouting with glaring eyes, Jacky slowly turned away from the nurse and shyly stepped closer to his mommy to hide his head against her belly and lap. Chuckling, Annie tries to pull her son away from leaning on her lap. “His name is Jacky, he just turn seven not too long ago,” answered Annie to the nurse’s question, with a proud motherly smile. Looked at Jacky in the eyes, she warmly assured, “Don’t be shy Jacky. All these nurses and doctors here are to help us.” Annie suddenly felt a swept of nervousness that made her felt tremor throughout her body, while her bounding pulse speeded up. Glanced up at the ceiling lights, she became even more uncomfortable like things are spinning a little making her felt queasily nauseated.

Giving Jacky a friendly big smile, the nurse suggested, “Jacky, would you like to help me push your mommy toward those waiting chairs? Then you could sit beside your mommy and wait for your daddy?” Silently, Jacky nodded with great enthusiasm. The nurse chuckled at his anxious big eyes as she begins to push Annie’s wheelchair, with Jacky trying to help by pushing on the side. “Okay, let park it right here. Jacky, would you want a lollipop and a drink?” offered the friendly nurse.

“I want a lolli,” answered Jacky.

“Alrighty,” grinned the nurse. Leaned down to pat on Annie’s hand, the nurse was surprise that it felt so warm to the touch. Concernedly, she asked, “You’re feeling really warm and looking a bit pale. How long had you been having this fever?”

“Since early this morning. My husband had been taking my temperature throughout the morning, it was around 102. I’ve terminal stage cancer. My oncologist say it affect my blood production so it make me look anemic and fatigue,” explained Annie as her queasiness felt worst and now she felt weak all over, even her contraction had weakened greatly. “I don’t know why, but I’m feeling nervousness and it making me feeling really sick to the stomach. I’m not really that nervous about giving birth, so I don’t know why I’m feeling this way.”

“Just take in big deep breath. I’ll go grab a thermometer to check on your temperature,” exclaimed the nurse, who is worried that this temperature spike is due to infection, since her amniotic sac has ruptured and also because Annie is a cancer patient, which mean she is very high risk for blood dyscrasias. Blood dyscrasias is a condition where her bone marrow is having trouble producing enough red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets, without adequate amount of those cells she is susceptible to fainting, infection, and bleeding problem. After Annie had nodded to her, the nurse hurried away to find a thermometer.

Patted at the waiting chair next to her wheelchair, Annie instructed, “Jacky, come sit on this chair beside mommy, so you won’t be in the way of other people.”

Nodding obediently, Jacky hopped onto the chair sitting beside his mommy and holding onto her hand. “Mommy, don’t worry, I’ll sit here with you. Daddy will be back soon,” assured Jacky as he gently patted his mommy’s hand trying to comfort her fear, while he is the actual one that felt nervous as he scanned the hospital setting. He was never fond of hospital, since it had been a place that he visits too often lately to see his mommy weakly lying in a hospital bed with lots of needles in her arms and back.

“Thanks sweetheart,” smiled Annie while giving her son’s hand a squeeze to assure him that everything will be okay. The longer she sat the more she felt nauseated and dizzy. Glanced up at the light fixture above, Annie started to see the light spinning making her extremely nauseated. Swept of nervousness hit her again and this time it was so strong that it made her unexpectedly vomited. She tries to caught or avoid making a mess, but she couldn’t control herself.

Anxiously watching his mommy throwing up foamy yellow substance, Jacky slightly dropped his jaw in worry. “Mommy!” hollered Jacky anxiously as he tries to help by brushing his mommy’s chest, since this is what he saw his daddy do when his mommy coughed nonstop.

Not wanting to make a mess on her son, Annie pushed him aside and warned between her gagging, “Stay back Jacky!”

Hearing the commotion his wife is making, Julian turned to realize that she is vomiting nonstop. He quickly ran back to her, while the nurse that was directing him with the paper work followed too. The nurse with the thermometer was daunted to see Annie vomit like that, she too quickly ran back to help Annie. The patients and their family members that are waiting in the area all looked toward Annie with concern and a bit disgusted with the mess. They stepped back, worrying that she had some kind of contagious disease. Vomiting and coughing labouredly, Annie tried hard to contain herself and not make a mess, but she couldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried.

Quickly squatted by her side, Julian brushed her back as he soothingly calmed, knowing that his wife must felt embarrassed to vomit and make a mess like this in public. In his patient and loving voice, he assured, “It’s okay, don’t worry about the mess. The nurses will help us take care of it.”

“Mrs. Cheung, keep your head down, so you don’t aspirate into your lungs,” instructed the charge nurse that was helping Julian with the admission.

Nodding to the instruction, Julian eased his wife’s head lower and continues to brush her back. Frightened to see his wife couldn’t stop vomiting, Julian darted at the charge nurse for an answer, “Why is she throwing up like this? This is not a normal thing of labor, right?”

The charge nurse quickly felt Annie’s forehead. “Do this happen to you, during your first delivery?” asked the nurse, after reviewing her past history knowing that Jacky is her first born.

Annie kept shaking her head to the question as she continued to vomit. Her husband begins to pat her back when she begins to cough harshly and blood came out. The people around the area gasped and became more anxious as they stare at Annie like she had some horrible disease. Finally stopped her vomiting, but can’t stop herself from coughing up blood, Annie begin to hopelessly cried in silent and tearfully murmured, “I’m so sorry that I made a mess...” She felt embarrassed and lost all power and dignity over herself.

Swiftly, standing up and bending over toward his wife, Julian lovingly pulled his wife in to embrace her as he comforted, “It’s alright, honey. Don’t cry you’re doing just fine.”

Nodding, both nurses said in unison, “Don’t worry about it.”

Shakily, Jacky became tearful as he watches his mommy crying and vomiting blood. Jacky is really scared that this is it, the day that his parents had prepare him since the last few months. Shaking his head, Jacky cried, “I don’t want mommy to die!” He quickly gotten off his chair to charge up and hug his mommy tightly, not even care that his mommy is covered in vomit and blood.

“Jacky, you getting yourself dirty!” scolded Annie in distress. She tires to pull her son away, but he clings to her like his life depends on it. Knowing that her son is frightened, Annie assured, “Mommy’s okay. Mommy is just feeling sick. Come on, be a good boy and listen now. Step away from this mess.”

“Nooo…” cried Jacky.

“Julian, remove him from me before I throw up on him,” exclaimed Annie.

Swiftly, Julian pulled Jacky away from Annie and walked him several feet away while a nurse ran to grab towels and emesis basin and the other one is assessing his wife’s condition. Being far enough to get Jacky’s full attention, Julian held Jacky in front of him. Turned toward his mommy, Jacky cried loudly in distress wanting to be with his mommy. Squatting down to face Jacky, Julian firmly held onto both of Jacky’s shoulders and instructed harshly, “Jacky hush!”

Daunted by his daddy yelling at him for the first time, Jacky lost his voice for a few second. Vulnerably, his teary eyes quickly became glassy as he looked into his daddy’s angry eyes. Feeling threatened he begin to cry as he whimpered, “Daddy…” He stepped forward to hug his daddy tightly around the neck.

Julian took in a deep breath to calm his temper down, knowing that he shouldn’t had shouted at Jacky. Hugged Jacky tightly, he patted his back and soothed, “Don’t cry Jacky. Daddy is bad, daddy shouldn’t yell at you. But please don’t cry, you’ll make mommy really unhappy.” He removed Jacky and held him firmly in front of him. Looked straight into Jacky’s eyes, Julian explained, “Jacky, you have to be strong and stop crying. Mommy needs us to take care of her. Daddy knows you are afraid, but you have to be brave…”

“I don’t want mommy to die…”

“Mommy is not dying! She is just here to have Angel. Mommy is throwing up because she is feeling a bit sick, not dying. You understand? Jacky, remember how daddy taught you to be tough so mommy don’t have to worry about us? You have to do that now. You can’t take care of mommy when you’re crying like this, right?” asked Julian with still eyes on Jacky, who just looked at him with his pair of vulnerable red round eyes.

Sniffling as he glanced over toward his mommy seeing how horribly ill she looks, Jacky returned to look at his daddy in the eyes and tearfully begged, “Daddy, can we please go home? I just wanted to go home with mommy. Mommy will feel better once she get home and go to sleep… I don’t like it here, they always hurt mommy...I don’t want mommy to be here… Daddy please, let just go home… Mommy can get better if she can sleep on her own bed…I’ll be a good boy. I’ll stop crying. I’ll listen from now on… Let take mommy home, please daddy please…”

Hearing Jacky pleading, tears just filled and staining Julian’s eyes red. Julian pulled Jacky in to give him a big tight embrace. Crying harshly, Jacky body trembled, knowing that his daddy is not going take them home. It greatly sank Annie’s heart to hear her son cry like this. She shuts her eyes and silently begged heaven for mercy. All she ever wanted was for her family to be happy, why is it so hard?

“Shh…” hushed Julian, he repeatedly dried Jacky tears as he pecked him several time on his temple. “Jacky…Jacky, please don’t cry. Everything will be alright, daddy promise. Listen, mommy really has to stay here. These doctors and nurses here won’t hurt mommy, they will help mommy deliver Angel, than mommy will get better. You wait and see; nothing bad will happens. Mommy, daddy, you, and Angel will all go home afterward, okay?” assured Julian.

“We could?”

“Yes,” replied Julian firmly with confident. Pulled his sleeve out, Julian helped Jacky wipe his tears off as he encouraged, “Now dried those tears up. Don’t let mommy see them, or she’ll cry too. Mommy will be just fine. Daddy won’t let anything happen to her or Angel. We will all go home. In the meantime, you just have to be a good boy and be brave, okay?”

In tears, Jacky nodded and murmured, “I will, I’ll be a good boy. I won’t cry…” He tried hard to dry his own tears with his sleeves.

Seeing her son and husband returning, Annie weakly asked, “Are you okay, Jacky?” With frowning protrude lips her son nodded as he sniffed on his tears. Annie reached out to hold his hand to give it a squeeze. She assured, “Don’t worry. Come sit back on the chair.” Jacky obeyed and sat back on the chair. Annie turned to faintly smiled at her husband as she sincerely said, “Thanks.” It deeply breaks her heart to see her husband’s eyes stained red.

Shaking his head at her, Julian pulled her in to hold her close and patted the side of her arm. Annie started coughing again. “Take big deep breath. How is your contraction?” asked Julian concernedly.

“I don’t feel them anymore. I hope Angel is okay,” replied Annie with much worry. Feeling nauseated again, Annie gagged and vomited again and this time she got it on her husband. Pushing him away, she tearfully apologized, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay! It’s not a big deal,” assured Julian clearly, he pulled her back in to hold her close as he continued to reassure her.

Seeing Annie vomiting nonstop and coughing up blood, the charge nurse quickly ran to get a doctor, while the nurse with the thermometer quickly took Annie’s temperature. “102.8,” she informed with worry. “Is there other symptoms that she had lately, beside a fever?” the nurse questioned Julian.

Shaking his head, but after recalling, Julian answered, “She is more exhausted today. She kept feeling sleepy and tired. She doesn’t have much of an appetite either. We had arranged to see her oncologist this afternoon to check it out, but she begin to have contraction…”

Nodding, the nurse cuts in, “Who is her oncologist? It might be a good idea to call him or her in just in case…” The nurse paused because she saw Annie’s pupils dilated and her gaze seem a bit dulled out. She could tell that Annie’s level of consciousness changed drastically. “Mrs. Cheung? Mrs. Cheung, can you hear me?” called the nurse as she nudged on Annie. Not fully there, Annie slightly looked up at the nurse, but her eyes quickly rolled backward and she fainted.

“Annie! Honey?” hollered Julian as he shook her body. Shocked to see his wife suddenly fainted, Julian face instantly paled.

“Mommy…” whimpered Jacky as his body begins to tremble. Really frightened, he quickly ran up to his daddy and quickly buried his face against his daddy’s body, not wanting to watch his mommy die. “Daddy, take mommy home now!” Jacky loud demanded in a cry, thinking that if they can be home everything bad will be back to normal again. He is really afraid that his mommy can never go home again.

Meanwhile the charge nurse quickly returned with an ER doctor and several nurses. The doctor quickly squatted down to check on Annie’s pupils and listened to her heart and the fetal heart beat. Lost his voice, Julian just anxiously watches as he silently begged for them to fix this nightmare. The ER doctor quickly ordered, “Immediately take her to bed one!”

Julian’s heart just dropped to notice how urgent the ER doctor sounded. With quivering lips and voice, he fearfully questioned, “What’s going on with my wife?” No one answered to him. One of the nurses pulled him and Jacky out of the way, while the other just rushed in to transfer Annie onto a cart-bed.

Ignored Julian’s question, the ER doctor urgently instructed, “The fetal heart rate is too low. Give her four liters of oxygen and wedge her to lie on her left. Also insert a fetal scalp’s electro probe on, so we can monitor the fetal heart rate more precisely. Get a set of her vital done immediately, especially her blood pressure. She is showing sign of shock, so she must be bleeding somewhere; I’m concern that it’s internal. Get all protocol lab works done on her. Cross match her blood and get her several units of blood incase we need to do transfusion. Pages Dr. Lam and Dr. Kwan down immediately.” While the ER doctor pushes the cart toward bed one, the nurses split up to accomplish their tasks. One of them paged over the intercom for Dr. Lam, who is the attending obstetrician of the shift, and Dr. Kwan, who is a pediatric specialist on-call.

“Mr. Cheung, you have to wait out here. Don’t worry we’ll do all we can for your wife,” exclaimed the nurse as she too hurried off.

Panting weakly with uncertainty, Julian seem to freeze in place anxiously watching them took his wife away and pulled the curtain close behind them. The thought of losing his wife today send chill down his bone. Tears quickly watered his vision as he continued to stare at the closed green curtain while hearing the voices of several ER doctors and nurses from behind it. Silently he prayed to heaven for them not to take his wife away, at least not today, since he is not prepared for it.

With tears welled in his frightened eyes, Jacky glanced up at his daddy and murmured, “Daddy…where are they taking mommy?” Without an answer to offer, all Julian could do is pulled Jacky’s head in toward his waist and held him close, patting his upper back. Jacky swing his arms around his daddy’s waist tightly as he sobbed with his quivering body.

Around fifteen minutes later Dr. Cho had arrived and quickly headed in to help Annie after exchanging a few short words with Julian and assured him. Few minutes later, Dr. Yip had also arrived and headed into the ER unit to help Annie. Waiting outside without any news on his wife, Julian became really bothersome and impatient. He is really scared that both his wife and daughter won’t make it through this time. Anxious with the result, Julian frustratingly dropped his head resting his forehead on his two palms as his fingers clenched tightly on his hair. He is so tense with worry that he begin to feel a headache starting to build. Julian couldn’t help but blame himself for the cause of his wife being in a life threatening situation now, since he is the one allowing her to keep their baby. He just think that if only he could be more cold hearted back then about forcing her to abort their baby, then maybe Annie won’t end up being in danger now. Angered with himself, he grunted as he yanked on his short hair.

Sitting on the seat beside his daddy, Jacky sadly glanced over to see his worrisome daddy’s gesture of anger. Frowned with his shoulders slumped, Jacky too dropped his head and covered his face with his palms with his elbows on his laps, just like his daddy. Really tired and worry sick, Jacky turned to his daddy. He slowly tugged on his daddy’s arm. Julian looked at him with an assuring expression. Needing more comfort, Jacky made his way to sit on his daddy’s lap and tiredly lean back on his daddy’s chest. His daddy held him close and gave him a peck on the top of his head. They both sat together with anxious eyes toward the curtain. All Jacky wishes for is his mommy magically gotten all better and walked out with his baby sister in her arms all ready to go home with him and his daddy.

Each time a nurse ran out of the curtain both father and son would anxiously look up trying to catch glimpse of the inside, but they couldn’t see anything, since bed one is no where near it. They would disappointedly slump their shoulders in unison when they realize that those nurses had no news yet to tell them either.

Seeing his father impatiently pounded his fist against the chair, Jacky deeply sighed. Jacky reached his arm over to grab hold of his daddy’s hand and held it toward him. He whispered, “Daddy, don’t hurt yourself or else mommy will be really sad.” Turned to look at Jacky sad worry round eyes, Julian sighed and nodded to him. “Daddy, will mommy be okay?” asked Jacky unnervingly.

Sighed with dread, Julian slightly shook his head and honestly replied, “I don’t know, Jacky. I really don’t know.” Hearing the curtain drawn back, Julian quickly glanced up. Seeing that this time it’s Dr. Cho rather than nurses, he instantly picked Jacky off his lap and ran up to her. Urgently he asked, “How is my wife?”

“Not doing very good. Her placenta has torn from the inside, causing her to bleed internally and holding pocket of blood in the torn space, which is pushing against the fetus harder as blood pulled in...”

“What cause this to happen?” confusedly asked Julian.

“There are many things that could cause this to happen, such as smoking, illegal drugs… I know Annie don’t do any of those, which make fall the only explanation. Did your wife fall recently?” asked Dr. Cho.

Thinking hard, Julian shook his head, “No, I pay really close attention to her. I don’t let her walk out of my sight…”

“Daddy that girl pushed and made mommy fall yesterday!” reminded Jacky.

Nodding, Julian begins to panic, “Yes, she did fall. A girl pushed her…but this is early yesterday afternoon. I shouldn’t have agrees to let her walk off alone… She asked me to buy her a drink and promised that she’ll be careful… I…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, calm down,” soothed Dr. Cho.

“What should we do now? Please save her… Anything you have to do, just save her,” begged Julian.

Nodding Dr. Cho explained, “She fainted earlier because she doesn’t have enough blood supply for her heart to pump adequately to her brain. We had started two unit of blood transfusion already, which helped a bit. Annie is in and out of consciousness now, but her condition isn’t as stabilizes as we had hopes for. Beside that, her baby is deprived of oxygen supply, since the blood circulation to the placenta is diminishing as it torn…”

“You mean they both won’t make it?” screamed Julian with widen hard eyes.

“Julian, we need you to sign a consent form for us to operate on her…”

“Operate!” dauntingly exclaimed Julian.

Nodding as she places her hand on Julian back, the obstetrician explained, “Yes, we need to do an immediate cesarean section to take the baby out instantly or the baby will die in the womb…”

“What about my wife?” urgently asked Julian with drained face. “I…I…,” stumbled Julian confusedly. He then seriously looked into Dr. Cho and firmly stated, “I wanted my wife to get through this…even if it meant to give up on our baby.”

“I understand your concern, Julian,” replied Dr. Cho. She clarified, “Annie will need this surgery either way. We must take the baby out immediately in order to stop the internal bleeding or your wife will die too. Another problem is that she is having a fever, which usually we won’t operate unless it cools down, but she can’t wait for that. Her blood work shows that her white blood cells are high and along with the fever it meant she is having an infection. This highly increases the mortality rate of the surgery, but without the surgery she won’t survive.” Seeing Julian became mute and placid, while Jacky looked confused and don’t understand a thing she just said. Dr. Cho encouraged, “Julian, she really doesn’t have much of a choice. Don’t worry we’ll try our best to save both your wife and daughter.” Gestured a nurse to hand her the consent form, Dr. Cho held it toward Julian and requested, “You need to sign the consent form before we can operate on her.”

“This is the only option to save her, right?” asked Julian for clarification, because he doesn’t want to make any mistake to give them permission to take his wife away. Dr. Cho nodded. Nodding, Julian shaky hand grabs the pen, but he paused unable to sign, since his mind kept replaying the risk of the surgery that Dr. Cho had mention. Taking in a deep breath, he forced himself to not think anymore of it and quickly scribbled his name on the line by the X. A drop of his tear slipped off and slightly smeared his signature.

“Julian, you made the right and only possible choice left to give your wife the chance to survive,” assured Dr. Cho.

Before Dr. Cho urgently head back in, Julian held onto her arm and firmly reminded, “Whatever decision you had to make during the surgery, please put my wife’s life first.” Dr. Cho nodded and hurried away.
…………………….