ROCH chapter corrections

[JamesG]

"Gongsun Lu E? Shouldn't it be Gongsun Lu'E like Sun Bu'Er. I saw that it was Ke Zhen E instead of Ke Zhen'E in the earlier chapters."

This is one we discussed in a PM a while back and we decided either was ok for those two names.

[Athena]

"Gongsun Lu E? Shouldn't it be Gongsun Lu'E like Sun Bu'Er. I saw that it was Ke Zhen E instead of Ke Zhen'E in the earlier chapters."

This is one we discussed in a PM a while back and we decided either was ok for those two names.

I see. So, you and the others agreed to use the convention "Lu E, Zhen E" and such. Oh okay, I can live with that.

[Da Bao]

I'm sorry for not having been online lately. I have a large exam coming up and it lasts 3 weeks.... I won't be online much for the next few weeks.

[JamesG]

I'm sorry for not having been online lately. I have a large exam coming up and it lasts 3 weeks.... I won't be online much for the next few weeks.

We forgive you. But if you flunk the exam, watch out!

[rayon]

For Taoism: males are Taoist priests, females Taoist priestesses.
For Buddhistm: males are Buddhist monks, females Buddhist nuns.

Whence the sage speaks, the denizen all but nods and thinks, "Oh, so this is what it feels like to put your foot where your mouth is."

NOTA BENE:

On a completely different note, I just got back from a four-day vacation and I cannot help but tattle that someone had the audacity to die on the beach (of doom) during my one and only vacation after milennia of pretendingtoworks, so now I am of a studious mind to contemplate my own mortality (and how I can get myself a guinea pig without my dad's knowing it) and fill my days with the neverending universe of soulfelt sighs. Lo, peachy life!

[JamesG]

How are the drawings coming? Still at it?

[rayon]

Nope. I'm too busy being at one with the universe.

Seriously, I've finished that scene in Chapter 5, the one where Yang Guo sees Xiao Longnu for the first time...and made a few preliminary sketches on Guo Jing nose-mining...oops! I mean, concentrating as he fought with the Quanzhen Taoists but haven't gotten around to finishing it because...I'm too busy being at one with the universe. I'll get back to it when I finish obsessing over my current obsession, 'mmkay?

[JamesG]

Nope. I'm too busy being at one with the universe.

Seriously, I've finished that scene in Chapter 5, the one where Yang Guo sees Xiao Longnu for the first time...and made a few preliminary sketches on Guo Jing nose-mining...oops! I mean, concentrating as he fought with the Quanzhen Taoists but haven't gotten around to finishing it because...I'm too busy being at one with the universe. I'll get back to it when I finish obsessing over my current obsession, 'mmkay?

Wouldn't a Gemini be at 'two' with the universe?

Carry on with the drawings. I'm sure we'll be pleased with the results. I added a drawing of your's to chapters 1 & 2 in the SPCNET Reading Room ROCH translation thanks to Suet Seung's providing me with the proper code.

[rayon]

Paragraph 1

...He held his breath and waited until he slowed down before he swam upwards with his right hand and Lu E in his left hand (replace with "holding Lu E with his left hand") As soon as he reached the surface he took a breath and a sudden stench filled his nose; at the same time, the water on (replace with "around") his left was breaking in waves, as if some large aquatic animal was coming towards to (remove "to") them to attack.

Paragraph 4

...Then he heard scrapping (replace with "scraping")sounds on the rocks and a stench that was gradually become stronger and stronger; a few of the strange creatures from the pool had climbed out.

Paragraph 7

When Yang Guo was living on Peach Blossom Island, he had seen countless crocodiles on the island; he knew that they were extremely vicious and violent; (change to ",") much more than the tigers and wolves of the land. One day, he, Guo Fu and the Wu brothers saw them but they didn’t to (remove "to") try to annoy them and kept their distance from them.....

Paragraph 8

Gongsun Lu E whispered, “Brother Yang, who would have thought that you and I would die in such a place. (replace with "?")

Paragraph 12

He thought, “I can’t do anything to all these crocodiles empty handed (replace with "empty-handed")

Paragraph 19

Lu E observed that the crocodile was not moving and was lying there on the rock dead; she was in awe of Yang Guo and said, “How did you kill that crocodile empty handed? (replace with "empty-handed")

Paragraph 21

...when they heard his inhuman calls; (replace with ",") they were so frightened that they slipped back into the water.

Paragraph 23

Yang Guo knew that even if he hadn’t fallen into this dangerous situation, he would not live for more that (replace with "than") a couple of days because of the poison; he had heard the Valley Master say that the pain would keep on increasing over the next thirty six (replace with "thirty-six") days before he finally died. The pain is ("was") so unbearable that even if he endured it a few more times, he’d eventually give in to the pain and kill himself. But once he dies ("died"), Gongsun Lu E will ("would") have no one to protect her; that’ll ("that would") be terrible for her....

Paragraph 24

She stopped for a while and thought of many strange and hard to explain ("hard-to-explain") things...

Paragraph 25

She had noticed that her father’s expression has ("had") been strange...

here were many words and actions of her father’s that she did not understand and just used the reason ‘eccentric behavior’ to explain all it ("it all").

[JamesG]

I've been working on chapter 22 tonight and I'm pooped. Early night tonight.

[HuangYushi]

Hi JamesG:

I don't mean to jump the gun, but fox-s asked for help on ROCH in the LOCH thread, so I guess I should put my reply here. Thanks in advance for having me!

HYS

======================

To fox-s:

Re: Caption for Chap 32 of ROCH

Before I go into the caption itself, perhaps you'd like to know that you couldn't find the caption in the chapter text because it was not in your translation in the first place. However, it is in the Chinese text, i.e.:

朱子柳沉吟道：“咱们四下里都找遍了，想来龙姑娘此时定已出谷。”
陆无双忽道：“还有一处没去瞧过，说不定她正在设法捞那颗绝情丹上来……”

杨过心头一震，没听她说完，发足便往断肠崖奔去。他一面急奔，一面大呼：“龙儿，龙儿！”到得崖前，俯视深 谷，但见灰雾茫茫，那有人影？

他心下暗思：“龙儿心思单纯，如有甚么心事，决计不会对我隐瞒。”逐一回想小龙女说过的言语：“她只说过， 要我记得永远听她吩咐的誓言。我自是永不违拗她的心意，那又何消说得？可是她并没吩咐过人甚么 啊？”

抬起头来，低声道：“龙儿，龙儿，你到底去了那里？要我遵从你甚么话呢？”眼望着对面的断肠崖，隐隐约约间 便见似见一个白衣姑娘鬓插红花、身形飘忽，手执双剑正与公孙止激斗。

他大叫一声：“龙儿！”一定神，那里有小龙女在？只是一团团白雾随风飘荡而已，但那朵红花却当真是在对面山 崖之下。

他心中奇怪：“昨日龙儿与公孙止在此相斗，明明未见有此花在。此处全是山石，草木不生，怎会有花？若说是风 吹来，又怎能如此凑巧？”

Your translation:

Zhu Zi Liu knitted his brows. "Let's spread out and search around the valley. I think it is possible that Miss Long has left this place."

"There is a place we haven't looked yet," Wu Shuang suddenly remembered. "Could it be that Sister-in-law is trying to recover the Passionless Pill?"

Before Wushuang could finish, Yang Guo had already dashed toward the Broken Heart Cliff and cried out, "Long'Er! Long'Er!" But even there not a single soul was in sight. Yang Guo was more anxious. "Long'Er is very honest, she would certainly tell me her heart's contents," he thought. Then he remembered their conversation that evening, "She knew I have never disobeyed her, why did she feel it was important to remind me? But she didn't say anything else then..."

[text went missing here]

He looked at the cliff, staring blankly. Suddenly he saw a red flower perched high on the cliff. "Uh, where did that flower come from?" he asked himself, "I didn't see it when Long'Er was battling Gongsun Zhi. Could it be blown here by the wind? Not likely..."

Translation according to the Chinese text above:

Zhu Ziliu spoke in a low and somewhat muffled voice: "We have looked everywhere, so I think Miss Long has already left the valley by now."

Suddenly, Lu Wushuang said, "There is another place where we have not gone for a look. Perhaps she is trying to fish that Passionless Pill out..."

Yang Guo's heart skipped a beat. Before Lu Wushuang could finish speaking, he dashed towards the Heart-Breaking Cliff (or whatever JamesG finally decides on; see the note to him below). As he ran, he shouted: "Long'Er, Long'Er!" When he got to the edge of the cliff, he looked into the deep ravine below. Yet, all he saw was a vast sheet of greyish mist, for how could anyone be there?

He thought: Long'Er's thoughts are simple and pure. If she had any problems, she would have certainly not kept them from me. Then, he recalled the words that Xiao Long Nü had uttered earlier: She had asked me only to remember forever the vow that she had told me. I would naturally never go against her wishes, so why was there even a need to speak of it? But she did not even tell me anything in the first place.

Lifting his head, he said in a soft voice: "Long'Er, Long'Er, where exactly have you gone? What are the words that you want me to obey?" Looking across the ravine at the Heart-Breaking Cliff, he could almost see the indistinct figure of a woman in white with a red flower in the hair by one of her temples. The woman seemed to move swiftly as she engaged Gongsun Zhi in an intense battle with the pair of swords in her hands.

"Long'Er!" called Yang Guo. Then, pulling himself together, he realised that Xiao Long Nü was not there. All he saw were floating sheets of whitish mist ... but that red flower was indeed at the bottom of the opposite cliff.

Struck by the oddity of the discovery, he thought: When Long'Er fought Gongsun Zhi in that place yesterday, the flower was certainly not there. The whole area is nothing but rock that does not encourage even the growth of grass and trees, so how can there be any flowers? If I say that the wind blew the flower here, how could it have been such a coincidence?

Caption for Chapter 32:

杨过眼望对面断肠崖, 茫茫白雾之中, 隐隐约约间似见一个白衣姑娘鬓佩红花, 身形飘忽, 手执双剑和公孙止激斗.

Yang Guo looked across the ravine at the Heart-Breaking Cliff. In the whitish mist, he could almost see the indistinct figure of a woman in white with a red flower in the hair by one of her temples. The woman seemed to move swiftly as she engaged Gongsun Zhi in an intense battle with the pair of swords in her hands.

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Re: Caption for Chapter 33

You're right about this one. The caption is not found in the novel text. I've translated it for you below:

风陵渡的客店中, 郭芙, 郭襄, 郭破虏三姐弟坐在火堆旁烤火, 听众客人述说神雕侠的种种豪侠义举. 郭襄悠然神往, 只盼能见一见这位神雕大侠.

As the three siblings of Guo Fu, Guo Xiang and Guo Polu sat warming themselves by the fire in an inn at the Fengling Ferry Crossing, they heard the other guests talking about the various gallant and righteous acts of the Eagle Hero. By and by, Guo Xiang's thoughts turned to distant things, and she began to harbour the hope of meeting this Great Eagle Hero.

------------------------

To JamesG (again):

Since I'm on the subject of Chapter 32, by way of fox-s' queries, would you please look into doing something about the following translations for 断肠崖 (Duan4 Chang2 Ya2)? All four of the translations below have been found in Chapter 32 alone.

• broken heart cliff
• severed intestine cliff
• heart breaking cliff
• severed intestine gorge

For a start:
肠断 (chang2 duan4) = used in literature to mean "heartbroken".
崖 (ya2) = cliff, not "gorge", ever.

I'll leave the final decision to you.

Also, for Chapter 33, "Feng Lingdu" could be better written as "the Fengling Ferry Crossing".

------------------------

HYS/Yushi Huang

[IcyFox]

Re: Caption for Chapter 33

You're right about this one. The caption is not found in the novel text. I've translated it for you below:

风陵渡的客店中, 郭芙, 郭襄, 郭破虏三姐弟坐在火堆旁烤火, 听众客人述说神雕侠的种种豪侠义举. 郭襄悠然神往, 只盼能见一见这位神雕大侠.

As the three siblings of Guo Fu, Guo Xiang and Guo Polu sat warming themselves by the fire in an inn at the Fengling Ferry Crossing, they heard the other guests talking about the various gallant and righteous acts of the Eagle Hero. As Guo Xiang's thoughts turned to distant things, she began to harbour the hope of meeting this Great Eagle Hero.

I missed that? Thanks for picking it up.

[HuangYushi]

I missed that? Thanks for picking it up.

Hi Icy, how are you doing?

About the caption for Chap 33: It's not your fault. The caption is a summary of the action in the inn; so the exact text is not in the chapter text.

-------------

To JamesG:

There is no need to insert the caption for Chap 33 anywhere into the chapter text.
Thanks.

[IcyFox]

Hi Icy, how are you doing?

Me? Still working on The Grand Unified Theory of Wuxia Fiction. And still trying to squeeze time for LoCH translations.

[fox-s]

Huang Yushi, thanks. The reason that part was missing was because the source I used was from first edition and not from the original chinese text. However, it was still difficult for me to find the caption in the chapter even if it was part of the text. That was the reason I gave up on translating the captions ..

James and Bangs, do you think I need to go back to those chapters and make corrections based on the original chinese text before you guys edit them? They are Chapters 32, 36 and 38. If so, I need more time .. I am thinking of doing it after I finish my LoCH Chapter 20. If there are enough translators, I am going to retire after chapter 20.

[JamesG]

James and Bangs, do you think I need to go back to those chapters and make corrections based on the original chinese text before you guys edit them? They are Chapters 32, 36 and 38. If so, I need more time .. I am thinking of doing it after I finish my LoCH Chapter 20. If there are enough translators, I am going to retire after chapter 20.

It'll be a while before we get to those chapters so if you get the chance to fix them go ahead. If we have to edit twice, so be it. Bangs is tied up with a family member's medical problem in which he's playing a critical part. I've got my fingers crossed for them. I'm anxiously waiting to see his avatar on a new post.

HuangYushi: Thanks for your input. I'll keep my eyes open for the things you've pointed out.

[Da Bao]

MY EXAMS ARE OVER!!! I'm done, finished!! I'm so happy... *tears stream out of my eyes*. Alright, I've been gone for... 2 weeks, someone fill me in on what's new! And I'll send chapter 19 to the wizard when I get home, I can't really do anything right now as I"m at school.

[Bangs]

Hi guys hows it going? I missed the forums!

Ill resume helping James within a week or two. I'm still recovering and I have a 10 inch long wound at my right side, be back very soon.

[NetDriftr]

I see. So, you and the others agreed to use the convention "Lu E, Zhen E" and such. Oh okay, I can live with that.

here's a thought - if you guys are translating the novel, would it be more correct to drop the chinese adlib to pronouns? eg Gongsun Lu E -> Gongsun Lu ??

[NetDriftr]

Ad 3b. His mother Mu Nianci had actually lost her virtue to his father Yang Kang on Iron Palm Peak; his mother became pregnant and the world had Yang Guo. I would change it into: His mother Mu Nianci had actually lost her virginity to his father, Yang Kang on Iron Palm Peak; his mother became pregnant and Yang Guo was conceived.

I would use 'chastity' in place of virginity to keep consistency with the fantasy genre