ROCH chapter corrections

[HuangYushi]

here's a thought - if you guys are translating the novel, would it be more correct to drop the chinese adlib to pronouns? eg Gongsun Lu E -> Gongsun Lu ??

The "E" in Gongsun Lu E is not a suffix, or "chinese adlib to pronouns".
It is not 儿, as in 过儿, (Guo'er) or the pet name for Yang Guo.
The "E" in Gongsun Lu E is part of her given name, 公孙绿萼.

The same goes for the "E" in Ke Zhen E, which is actually 柯镇恶.

As you can see, the two "E"s above are different from the suffix "er".

[JamesG]

Hi guys hows it going? I missed the forums!

Ill resume helping James within a week or two. I'm still recovering and I have a 10 inch long wound at my right side, be back very soon.

followed by a BIG sigh of relief.

I've been resting on my laurels while Bangs was unavailable. I really should get back to work and build up a real cushion of chapters ahead of him. Besides, fishing season opens on Monday and my time spent fishing will be guilt free if I stay well ahead.

[Bangs]

I'm all better now so I can resume proofreading.

Chapter 19:

As soon as he reached the surface he took a breath and a sudden stench filled his nose; at the same time, the water on his left was breaking in waves, as if some large aquatic animal was coming towards to them to attack.
towards

Then he heard scrapping sounds on the rocks and a stench that was gradually become stronger and stronger; a few of the strange creatures from the pool had climbed out.
becoming

One day, he, Guo Fu and the Wu brothers saw them but they didn’t to try to annoy them and kept their distance from them.
try to

Yang Guo pulled his leg back and sent out a kick, striking the crocodiles squarely in the jaw.
crocodile

This setback allowed the other crocodile to press close to him; it opened it jaws and bit down towards Yang Guo’s shoulders.
its

There were many words and actions of her father’s that she did not understand and just used the reason ‘eccentric behavior’ to explain all it.
it all

Yang Guo did not know about the past affairs of the Passionless Valley and so it was hard for him to help her guess what the reasons were behind all this.
what

He picked up the sheepskin with his left hand and bought the dagger over, using the faint light from the pearl to carefully study it.
brought

Yang Guo said, “There’s no need to be scared. If you miss the gown and fall into the pool, I’ll dive in immediately to save you. We were afraid of the crocodiles when we first came here; but now we’ve got this dagger which can slice metal like butter, what have we got fear?”
got to

After turning two bends, her eyes were suddenly dazzled by the light; before her she saw an half clothed granny sitting on her knees on the floor, her face full of anger and with a great presence.
a

After looking at her for a while, the granny said, “You’ve got a red birthmark of your waist on the left side, haven’t you?”
on

Though his stances were slightly wrong, it was somewhat better that the original palm techniques of Wanyan Ping.
than

Qiu Qianchi did indeed say, “Ha-ha, when he got to the room, he saw a bowl filed with frosty arsenic water and hundreds of Passionless Pills soaking in the bowl. If he wanted to take the Passionless Pill he would have to take in the poison of the frosty arsenic water; if he didn’t take it, he would still die. The method of producing the Passionless Pill is a family secret. It is extremely difficult to get all the precious herbs and medicines to produce them. To make a batch of Passionless Pills requires the spring dew and autumn frost; it will take three years to make. He then rushed to the meditation chamber and begged on his knees for their lives. He knew that I would muse over on our marriage and wouldn’t destroy all the pills, keeping some just in case. He struck himself across the face many times; he cried and swore that if I spared the two them he would send Rou’er away and never see her again. And he said he would never dare to do such a thing again.”
filled

Qiu Qianchi was just about to say something when she felt the rope around waist tighten and her body lifted upwards slowly into the air.
her waist

Fan Yiweng’s felt his waist tighten and quickly used the “Thousand Kilogram Fall” to steady himself. But he had both Yang Guo’s and Lu E’s weight to contend with along with their plummeting force; it bought him step by step closer towards the cave entrance.
brought


Part 1 of 2 done.... I'll continue laters.

[JamesG]

Yee Haww!

[HuangYushi]

Fan Yiweng’s felt his waist tighten and quickly used the “Thousand Kilogram Fall” to steady himself. But he had both Yang Guo’s and Lu E’s weight to contend with along with their plummeting force; it bought him step by step closer towards the cave entrance.

Fan Yiweng’s --- no "apostrophe s".

[JamesG]

Fan Yiweng’s --- no "apostrophe s".

Gad! Yet another critic!
I may change that sentence to read: Fan Yiweng felt the rope around his waist tighten...
Thanks Bud.

[IcyFox]

It's great to know you guys are still willing to do the less glamorous post-translation work. Keep it going.

[JamesG]

It's great to know you guys are still willing to do the less glamorous post-translation work. Keep it going.

Bangs and I are dedicated to seeing this project completed and ensuring that everyone involved can be proud of their part in it. Besides, I have a few Mainland Chinese friends here in Calgary who want CD copies of the book and I'm hoping for very positive feed-back.

[foxs]

I also want to get a copy of the finished product! And I believe a lot of other people do. Don't forget that James ...

[Bangs]

Ok heres the 2nd part of Chapter 19, sorry for the delay James, we have a storm here and the internet was cut off temporarily for some unknown reason. Well here goes...

Chapter 19 part 2 of 2:

The roped slipped once more as he loosened his hand. Qui Qian Chi called out, “Quickly save her!” Yang Guo did not need any prompts; he grabbed the rope and eventually pulled Lu E up.
Qiu Qianchi

Fan Yiweng was older that the Gongsun couple; when Gongsun Zhi took him as a disciple, Qiu Qianchi had already been trapped down in the grotto.
than

Now, as her feelings were bought out, the words ‘who said my brother is dead’ were said with a female voice.
brought

Done!

[JamesG]

Thanks Bangs. I'll put up chapter 20.

[Bangs]

Chapter 20:

A ‘qiang lang’ sound was heard as she took out a pair of swords from underneath the bridal gown; it was the ‘Gentlemen’ and ‘Lady’ swords.
*No correction, Im just wondering if it is better to call it Gentleman sword to match Lady sword instead of using Gentlemen which is plural.

His flipped his sword and went for Gongsun Zhi’s left side.
He

She watched as Xiao Longnu concentrated only on guarding Yang Guo, ignoring all dangers to herself; she couldn’t help by ask herself, “If that was you, could you disregard all the dangers to yourself to protect him?”
but

Yang Guo thought, “I’ve just turned towards his back and now you’re telling me to pierce his forehead?” It was an urgent situation and he didn’t give it much thought, he turned back towards the enemy’s front and he was just about to pierce his enemy’s forehead when Qiu Qianchi called out, “Cut his arse!”
*LOL! i think '***' is better to use instead of 'arse'.

The verses matched the sword stances and he performed the swords strokes with great elegance.
sword’s

Suddenly, Jinlun Fawang praised, “Brother Yang, I can only look on in awe at your intelligence and wisdom. The following verse is of course, “Bowing to and revering ones content, the good mood of the heart is too obscure, fishing and searching for something, the trap is forgotten once the fish is caught.”
one’s

Qiu Qian replied angrily, “What kind of person do you think your mother is? How can I take back what I’ve said? The one named Yang, my daughter is beautiful and she’s more than worthy of you. But even if she was an ugly troll, I’m still going to make you marry her today.”
Qiu Qianchi

Yang Guo had stayed in this valley for only three days; but within these three days, he had experience many near deaths. Now that he’s left this place of danger with his lover, it was like he was in a different world.
experienced

Mongolians have always lived in the wild and made the world their home. Eating and drinking outside was no different than eating in a hall to them. One of the guards bought some wine and food to them and laid a rug on the ground.
brought

Khubilai was delighted and said, “It doesn’t matter who kills Guo Jing, and those who go along to help will also be greatly rewarded. However, the Khan will be informed of the name of the person who killed Guo Jing, be given the title of Viscount and be called The Greatest Warrior of Mongolia.
Mongolia.”

When Yang Guo thought about the act that that his father’s murderer was doing now, pretending to be caring and loving towards him, he really wanted to draw out his sword and kill him right there and then.
that

The soldier looked at Yang Guo and saw that he was just a young man with nothing special about him; he didn’t know why Guo Jing would treat him with so much respect that he would actually reject the General’s invitation to the celebratory feast because of him. His mind was full of questions as he went back to report this to Lu Wende.”
*to be removed

Chapter 20 done.

[JamesG]

Thanks Bangs. We're half way there.
Chapter 21 is up.

For IcyFox: The Reading Room is up to date!
Updates of chp 11 - 20 sent to Wuxiapedia as well.

[JamesG]

I'm going to be off-line for a few days to get my computer serviced. Had a thermal shut-down so I suspect the cpu fan croaked.

[Bangs]

I'm going to be off-line for a few days to get my computer serviced. Had a thermal shut-down so I suspect the cpu fan croaked.

Ok I'll take my time reading Chapter 21 then.

[Bangs]

Chapter 21:

Huang Rong did not reply and lead him to the garden. She took a look all around before saying, “I heard your and Guo’er’s conversation. He’s up to no good, do you know that?”
*may I suggest: I heard your conversation with Gou'er.

He covered her with the blanket and held her hand, sitting by the bed waiting for her to go to sleep.
a blanket

Yang Guo said, ‘Oh. I have heard people talk about the story of the Three Kingdoms; they mentioned that Emperor Liu of Shu leaped over the Tan Torrent on horseback. So, the Tan Torrent is located here.”
“

His frowned as he worried about the fate of his nation.
He

Everyone returned to the Guo Jing residence when the banquet finished.
Guo residence

Naturally, he didn’t mention this and said, “Years ago in Mongolia, the Red Sun Elder Ma taught me this skill; who would have thought that I would have to use it today. If you like this skill I’ll teach you it in a few days time.”
it to you

When Guo Fu heard these words, she became furious and raised her voice, “Since you’ve made your mind up then forgot everything I said before. I’ll go somewhere far away by myself; I’m not going to see Yang Guo and I’m not going to see you.”
you made up your mind then forget

Her voice became even angrier as she said, “What are you doing? So what if he shows off? What’s it got to do with me? If my parents betroth me to him I’d rather die then agree to it. If father forces me then I’ll run away. That Yang Guo has always been an attention grabber since he was young, but I choose not to give a damn about him. Father thinks he’s some kind of treasure whereas I think that he’s not a good person.”
than

Though Guo Fu’s had a scolding tone in her voice and treated Wu Xiuwen almost like a child, making him obedient and completely enchanted. She had tender feelings for him.
Guo Fu

Guo Fu’s voice suddenly became gentle and tender as she said, “Little brother Wu, you’ve told me a thousands times, a million times how you feel about me, I already know. Though you brother hasn’t even said one word of this kind, I know that he loves me. No matter who I pick, one of you brothers will be broken hearted. Don’t you know how hard it is for me?”
a thousand
your

Guo Fu took out a handkerchief and gave it to him. She sighed, Little brother Wu, we all grew up together, I have great respect for your brother but I find it easier to talk to you. I am not biased towards any of you. You’re trying to force me to make a clear choice now, if you were me, what should I say?”
“Little

Guo Jing sighed and pointed to the swords on the table. He said, “Even if their hearts are in the right place, they don’t know what they are getting into; their weapons have been taken away and sent back here.
here.”

Huang Rong shook her head and said, “No, I just wanted Guo’er to go with you. Miss Long is like a porcelain doll, I cannot let her meet any danger. I want her to say with me.”
stay

Guo Jing said, “Looking at their lowly abilities, what chance had they of succeeding in this task? Their failure is not important, it’s just that once they failed, you will be even more wary of someone assassinating you; this task would be made even more difficult for later assassins.
assassins.”

Guo Jing heard that him say these words casually and said, “We’ll say our goodbyes at that. Goodbye.”
him

Yang Guo’s was trying to make his mind up when he saw a few people dart out of the tent.
Yang Guo

Guo Jing’s arms were crossed over as his right hand held onto the whip in Yin Kexi’s right hand and his left hand held onto the Yin Kexi’s left hand.
onto Yin Kexi’s left hand

Guo Jing responded to every stance that came to him and studied the strange weapons of the Nimoxing and Xiaoxiang Zi carefully.
of Nimoxing

Ma Guangzuo was stunned and stopped his bronze rod in midair. He said with shock, “Brother Yang, while are you fighting me?”
why

The sword glimmered in front of his eyes. He could never have dreamed that Yang Guo would suddenly try to kill him and even if he used every ounce of strength he had, he would not be able to fend off these attacks by Yang Guo’s.
Yang Guo

Fawang and the others kept tight on him thinking that even if his internal energy was more profound, he would not be able to keep up so a powerful palm technique for much longer.
so powerful a

Xiaoxiang Zi had plugged the antidote to this poison is his nose beforehand and he dashed forwards into the black smoke, waving out his rod to attack.
in



Chapter 21 done!

[JamesG]

Chapter 22 up.

Got my computer back today and it was the cpu fan that failed.
Only $35 cdn. I'll update chp 21 now and get back to work on chp 26.
No slacking off Bangs 'Old Bean'.

[Bangs]

Chapter 22:

His iron hammer caused gusts of winds as it was swung and those who met it died instantly. A bloody trail was left in his wake.
wind

If it wasn’t for two fighting each other, and even if Yang Guo gave his life in trying to protect Guo Jing, Guo Jing would have been dead long ago.
the two

Yang Guo knew that although that his yellow horse was a fine animal, it was still inferior to the red horse.
his

Huo Dou chuckled, “A gentlemen in a dangerous place should prepare for the worst.”
gentleman

Huang Rong said, “What kind of gentlemen views others with the mind of a scoundrel?”
gentleman

Huang Rong saw her face had become red and knew that she had guessed correctly so she continued, “You don’t have to keep it from me, I knew long ago. Guo’er blames us for his parent’s deaths and wants to kill us to avenge his father. You love Guo’er so of course are going to help him achieve his wish.”
parents’

When Huang Rong heard this, she extremely shocked.
she was

Guo Fu said, “Mother, it’s your fault; it because you said they are shameful disciples.”
it’s

Huang Rong was shocked and said, “When did I say that?
that?”

She thought of when recuperating in Linan.
She thought of the time when they were recuperating in Linan.

She was afraid that Guo Jing would worry if he knew about Huo Dou and the letter so she kept it from him, as well what the Wus were up to.
as well as

With the close distance and being caught unawares, had Fawang’s martial arts been just a little lower, like that of Nimoxing and Xiaoxiang Zi, he would surely have died from that attack.
unaware

The fact there didn’t seem to be any discomfort from his wound indicated that the blade was probably not laced with poison; he relaxed.
The fact that there

Though Yang Guo was in battle with Xiaoxiang Zi and Nimoxing, he kept his eye of Fawang.
on

Jinlun Fawang on the other hand was threatening Guo Fu with his wheels, waving them around inches away from her face to force her to reveal her parent’s location.
parents’

Fawang went forward block Yang Guo’s escape route.
to block

Yang Guo made his way the end of the alley only to hear a cackling voice, “Little boy, just give up!” It was Xiaoxiang Zi with his rod blocking the end of the alleyway.
to the

Yang Guo sent out a powerful kick that struck him on the behind, sending him down into the alleyway.
behind

Yang Guo was puzzled, “What’s this about me dieing this time?
dying

After tasting defeat from the “Pure Heart of the Jade Maiden Swordplay”, he pondered and tried to come up with way that would defeat it.
with a

If Fawang had sent the wheel towards Xiao Longnu, she would not have been able to catch it; she was only able to catch it because the wheel was aimed the baby.
at the

His crossed his arms and his wheels collided, ringing out throughout the valley.
He
throughout

However, towards the beginning of the fight when Li Mochou was trying to protect the child from the sharp blades of the wheels, she noticed that whenever the wheels came close to the baby, Fawang would quickly take the attack back and she then knew what he was trying to do, “That bald bastard wants to take child and he doesn’t want to hurt it.”
the child

Now upon hearing Yang Guo’s words, he thought, “Gongsun Zhi is ruthless man, its more likely than not that there is indeed poison on that sword.”
is a

The cave entranced was blocked with a fire and the cave was filled with smoke; Fawang and Nimoxing did not see what Yang Guo had done.
entrance

Just as he was about to take off his shoe and examine the wound, he heard Nimoxing had returning and he was calling out, “That lying punk, no entrance at back, Guo couple are still in there.”
returning
at the
the Guo couple

Nimoxing was short, had small steps and a fast pace, his right foot stepped onto one and before he could react, he left foot stepped onto another.
his

India is a hot and dry place and the people their don’t wear shoes, Nimoxing was no different; though his feet had been conditioned to be as hard as leather, the Soul Freezing needles are extremely sharp and they punctured his feet.
there

The two were great martial artists but after falling victim to prison, they were now brawling on the ground, and not reflecting their martial arts status.
poison

The two of were filled with delight as they watched her smiling in her sleep and they smiled at each other.
two



Chapter 22 done!

[JamesG]

Chapter 23 is up!

[Bangs]

Chapter 23:

Chapter 23 Translated by Noodles (Edited by ‘the tired eyed Wizard James)


The Baby Girl of the City in Danger
*I think Chapter 22 had the same title?

It was past midnight. Something woke Yang Guo.
midnight, something

Feeling very curious, he leapt off the rope bed gently and sought his way in the direction of the sounds.
to

The chirrups would sometimes rise and sometimes stop, but they were much louder than the chirrups from the two eagles on the Peach-Blossom Island.
of

The accuracy of the pecks and the speed it displayed were almost in match with first-class elite fighters in the Marital World.
Martial
*LOL!

“If I can catch this ugly eagle and put him next to Guo Fu’s two eagles, I am sure this eagle would not be inferior to her’s,” Yang Guo thought aloud.
thought to himself
*Yang Guo couldn't have spoken his mind while watching the Divine Condor fight.

The eagle’s neck looked short and thick, and it seemed as if it would have a hard time turning its head around, but the eagle shot the beak out and then retracted it back at lightening speed.
lightning

His imagination filled his mind with thoughts of how the Sword Master had roamed the marital world; Yang Guo was lost in thought.
martial

Throughout his life, other than the intimate relationship he had with the Little Dragon Girl, he didn’t have any other closer friends.
Xiao Longnu
*Its better to mention her name than use its english meaning which can cause confusion.

He was worried about the safety of Guo Jing’s daughter so gathered his sword and hurried back to the cave.
so he retrieved

Yang Guo said, “My name is Yang Guo. Is Senior’s surname Wu with first names Santong?”
name’s

The more he thought about this situation them more depressed he got and he could no longer help himself and had to let it all out.
the

The brother’s looked at each other in silence.
brothers

With the two fighting so viciously it was as if they were fighting their sworn enemies; one of them would come to harm sooner rather or later.
or later

Wu Santong’s could not express his thanks and just held Yang Guo’s hands tightly.
Wu Santong

Wu Xiuwen took a second to think before replying, “It might true that Master wants to betroth sister Fu to you. But Master wife has planned to betroth her to one of us. The three of us are in the same boat, none of us can truly say their claim is right, it looks like sister Fu’s future is going to be complicated.”
might be

He then impersonated Guo Fu’s voice on that night and said, “Little brother Wu, you’ve told me a thousands times, a million times how you feel about me, I already know. Don’t you know how hard it is for me? You are always weird like this, what do you want to say to me?”
thousand

The brother’s faces turned red.
brothers’

His became flustered as he tried to decide what to do.
He

Yang Guo said coldly, “Little brother Wu, how can you say the words ‘sister Fu’? From now on, not only can’t you say it, you’re not allowed to even think it?”
.

The wooden rod became a blur and within the blink of an eye, the rod was behind him and poked him on the behind.
behind

Wu Xiuwen said, “My Master wife is the daughter of the Lord Huang of Peach Blossom Island, her martial arts were taught by Lord Huang, who doesn’t know about this?”
Lord Huang

Wu Xiuwen, “Why the questions when you are already know the answer? Lord Huang’s “Jade Flute Swordplay” is peerless in the world of Wulin, it is famed throughout the land, and everyone in the word of Jianghu knows this.”
world

Wu Xiuwen gave out a cold laugh and said, “One year when it was Lord Huang’s birthday, Master wife dedicated a feast in his honour and after the feast, and she performed the swordplay once. My brother and I along with sister Fu saw it with our very own eyes. By that time, brother Yang was in the tutelage of Quanzhen sect.”
she

The wooden rod attacked continuously, graceful and flowing with every stance an offensive one; before the Wu brothers could neutralize a stance, out come a second, a third and so on.
came

Yang Guo gave a long laugh and said, “There’s more to the “Jade Flute Swordplay” that this, you better be careful!”
than

Yang Guo pointed at their vitals but the two ignored it, using a sword in their right hand and unleashing the “Solitary Yang Finger” with their left, their used all their best skills as they tried to kill their opponent.
they

Yang Guo moved behind Li Mochou slowly so that as soon there was a slight opening in her stances, he could dive in straight away and rescue the baby.
soon as

But he heard his sons’ crying out, giving him the fright of his life.
sons



Chapter 23 done!