ROCH chapter corrections

[JamesG]

Someone who obtains pleasure from feeling pain or punishment.

Wheew! It guess it doesn't include mental punishment.

[Athena]

The skill of the Golden Wheel Monk is translated into several different forms.

We have:
1. Dragon Elephant Wisdom Dexterity
2. Dragon Elephant Movement Skill*
3. Dragon Elephant Prana Skill
etc.

Just pick one, please to avoid confusion.

* Banruo is the phonetic translation for Prana in sanskrit, which means wisdom. So translating it to movement is a bit off.

Back to my retirement.

[foxs]

Chapter 38:

Fawang had determined to take Guo Xiang as his disciple; he wanted her to inherit all his skills.
was

He had determined to take the girl as his disciple, his successor; therefore, he tended to every single one of her needs.
was

Chapter 38 done!

I don't think had in these two cases are incorrect. I would still use had instead of was.

[Bangs]

I don't think had in these two cases are incorrect. I would still use had instead of was.

determined
adj 1: characterized by great determination; "a struggle against a
determined enemy"
2: having been learned or found or determined especially by
investigation [ant: undetermined]
3: devoting full strength and concentrated attention to; "made
continued and determined efforts to find and destroy enemy
headquarters"
4: determined or decided upon as by an authority; "date and
place are already determined"; "the dictated terms of
surrender"; "the time set for the launching" [syn: dictated,
set]
5: strongly motivated to succeed [syn: compulsive, driven]

If you use 'had' then that would imply that Fawang has found out something(refer to definition 2). The sentences used 'determined' based on definitions 1,3,and 5 in which case 'was' is the proper one to use. Unless proven otherwise I make my stand on this one.

[JamesG]

Aaargh! And there's still several months to go.
No wonder my avatar's evil brother has appeared!

[Bangs]

Chapter 39:

The Xiangyang troops acted according to Governor Lu Wenhuan and the Defense General’s orders and defended the four city gates.
*Was he also called Lu Wenhuan in the other chapters? I'm not sure bout this so I will just mention this so you can check it. I think he was called Lu Wende.

The Mongol armies were now using 20,000 troops to hold down Yelu Qi’s 4,000 troops and another 10,000 soldiers to scale the city wall.
*In the other chapters words were used to say 'ten thousand', 'twenty thousand', 'four thousand', etc.

This time, however, he witnessed a crushing setback and he was surprised, thinking, “Everyone says the Southerners are weak and useless, but these people are no weaker than my armies!
armies!”

Guo Jing saw that these four people were tall and their horses large. *Two of them wore white head gear and the other two wore red head gear.
Two

He then grabbed the other two general’s spears and snatched them away like a bolt of lightning.
generals’

*The white head-gear is the rank insignia of a regimental (10,000 men) commander while the red head-gear is the rank insignia of a battalion (1,000 men) commander.
The

However Guo Jing leaped up and pierced a company commander (Bai Fu Zhang) and jumped onto his gorse.
horse

Huang Yaoshi said, “My formation was originally intended for a fight consisting of only a few dozen Wulin fighters. I never expected to use it in a battle involving thousands of men. But apart from a few changes, it can be used roughly as it is.

Unfortunately we lost the two eagles.” Yideng said, “Let’s hope for the best.”
is. Unfortunately *Merge the two paragraphs as it contains HY's speech.

Xiao Longnu had practiced this skill since young and had no happiness or worries, so she was even more emotionless than the founder Lun Chaoying.
Lin

When you saw them you would remember our relationship and rescue me” What she did not know was that the words were discovered by Zhou Botong, who did nothing, and the meaning was deciphered by Huang Rong when she saw them.
me.”

Everyone cheered like the thunder and the five divisions left the city in all directions.
thunder

The north division roared in and Huang Rong, together with the Beggar’s Sect members, brought hoses with them and they sprayed poison onto the Mongol troops.
Beggars’

Yang Guo knew it was in vain; he could not rescue Guo Xiang he himself.
by

Yang Guo smiled, “You suffered more from your worries then I from the fight.”
than

Yang Guo shouted, stepped up on the horses’ back, then threw himself forward.
horse’s *he only has one horse at this moment



Chapter 39 done!

[Bangs]

Aaargh! And there's still several months to go.
No wonder my avatar's evil brother has appeared!

LOL! You have a strange avatar indeed.

[JamesG]

Chapter 39:

The Xiangyang troops acted according to Governor Lu Wenhuan and the Defense General’s orders and defended the four city gates.
*Was he also called Lu Wenhuan in the other chapters? I'm not sure bout this so I will just mention this so you can check it. I think he was called Lu Wende.

From Athena's 3rd edition changes:
"The military governor of Xiangyang is Lu Wenhuan. This Lu Wenhuan is the actual brother of the old governor Lu Wende. Lu Wende had rendered some merits, therefore he was given the position as the military chancellor and was now in the capital. His worthless brother Lu Wenhuan assumed command of Xiangyang, Guo Jing and Huang Rong were helping Lu Wenhuan all the time and never met Lu Wende."

Hopefully I made all of the changes required in the earlier chapter(s).
I'll put up chapter 40 now.
The rather abrupt ending always bothers me.

[Athena]

Yang Guo did not answer immediately. He looked intently at the monk. The monk stood straight, his countenance fresh and ruddy. If he wasn’t baldheaded and wearing a robe, he would have looked like a scholar. He was about fifty years of age;

An entire sentence was missing in this part......If he was not baldheaded and wearing a monk's robe, he would have looked like a scholar. Compared to him, Huang Yaoshi looked more arrogant and wild, a scholarly hermit. Zhu Ziliu had more regal and more sophisticated look, a prime minister. He was about fifty years of age; .....

Nijia Jing scripture: Jing already means scripture, a bit redundant to add scripture.

In the west Nijia Jing is known as the Lankavatara Sutra, adding a note at the end saying Lankavatara sutra = Nijia Jing would not be a bad thing.

In the west DaMo is often known as Bodhidharma, adding a note at the end Bodhidharma = DaMo would not be a bad thing.

The question now is: Are you going to stick to Lankavatara Sutra and Bodhidharma or are you going to go with DaMo and Nijia Jing?

[Da Bao]

Keep it up! Everyone's doing so great!! Yay!! *acting as the cheering crew*
How many chapters do you have left to finish?

[foxs]

If you use 'had' then that would imply that Fawang has found out something(refer to definition 2). The sentences used 'determined' based on definitions 1,3,and 5 in which case 'was' is the proper one to use. Unless proven otherwise I make my stand on this one.

Exactly my point. That was why I used 'had' instead of 'was'. He did not know beforehand, it was only after he was with her for some time that he finally determined to take her as his disciple. Afterwards, since he had determined to her as his disciple, he tried to win her heart.

[Bangs]

Exactly my point. That was why I used 'had' instead of 'was'. He did not know beforehand, it was only after he was with her for some time that he finally determined to take her as his disciple. Afterwards, since he had determined to her as his disciple, he tried to win her heart.

The part of the chapter where 'determined' was used, FW already knew and had decided that he will take GX as his disciple. Thus he 'was' determined (a strong feeling to succeed in something) to make GX his disciple.

But since you put it in a different context and FW has found out and not felt a strong motivation to make GX his disciple then so be it. Maybe that's how it is in the novel, lets retain 'had' then.

[Bangs]

Keep it up! Everyone's doing so great!! Yay!! *acting as the cheering crew*
How many chapters do you have left to finish?

I have just one more to go. James has started with LOCH already.

[JamesG]

I have just one more to go. James has started with LOCH already.

And after I finish your corrections I'll keep the thread alive for a couple of days and then get the Goddess of Honor to delete it. I'll start the LOCH corrections thread when I've been through the first 3 or 4 chapters.

[JamesG]

Yang Guo did not answer immediately. He looked intently at the monk. The monk stood straight, his countenance fresh and ruddy. If he wasn’t baldheaded and wearing a robe, he would have looked like a scholar. He was about fifty years of age;

An entire sentence was missing in this part......If he was not baldheaded and wearing a monk's robe, he would have looked like a scholar. Compared to him, Huang Yaoshi looked more arrogant and wild, a scholarly hermit. Zhu Ziliu had more regal and more sophisticated look, a prime minister. He was about fifty years of age; .....

Nijia Jing scripture: Jing already means scripture, a bit redundant to add scripture.

In the west Nijia Jing is known as the Lankavatara Sutra, adding a note at the end saying Lankavatara sutra = Nijia Jing would not be a bad thing.

In the west DaMo is often known as Bodhidharma, adding a note at the end Bodhidharma = DaMo would not be a bad thing.

The question now is: Are you going to stick to Lankavatara Sutra and Bodhidharma or are you going to go with DaMo and Nijia Jing?

Oh the decisions I have to make!
I'll have to 'meditate' on this.
Thanks Athena

[Bangs]

Chapter 40:

As soon as they fought, Huang Yaoshi and the other were laughing, even the composed Reverend Yideng smiled.
others

Among them only Eastern Heretic Huang Yaoshi, and Southern Emperor Reverend Yideng were left.
Yaoshi *no need for a , here

“Southern Monk and Western Passionate Hero have been settled. How about the Northern Beggar?” asked Botong?
Botong.

“If not, Huang Rong should be one of the experts,” Huang Yaoshi continued. “She is still inferior in terms of martial arts skill, but she is intelligent and smart. Wasn’t there a saying: ‘brain over brawn’?
brawn’?”

Guo Xiang looked at the cave, she softly said, “That’s true, even a emperor could not have everything his heart desires …”
an

Guo Xiang stood next to Xiao Longnu. She did not care about those two men, she looked at Yang Go and thought in her heart, “If only I could be like this forever. Being with Big Brother and Sister Long, I would desire nothing else …” She wanted the time to stand still …
Guo

Yang Guo could not see the speaker, but he guessed it was Yin Kexi and his companion must be Xiaoxiang Zi.
*There were some chapters where Yin Kexi was called Yi Kexi, can you please check it out.

Yang Guo kept staring, he thought, “In term of lightness kungfu, he is not superior to Long’er or me, but he is able to carry someone on this difficult path. His strength is comparable to Reverend Yideng and Uncle Guo. How come I’ve never heard of him?”
terms

The monk again paid his respects. He was so polite and scholarly. “It’s an honor for little Monk to make the acquaintance of Benevolent Mister Yang!” he said, and then he bade the youngster, “Quickly pay your respects to Benevolent Mister Yang!”
*Mister? Isn't it supposed to be 'Master' instead?

Yang Guo was amazed and he thought, “It is true that in this wide world there are many experts. Reverend Jueyuan’s skill is very high, yet he hides himself away. It is very possible the people of Shaolin are not aware of his skill; if so, my good friend Wuse would’ve had mentioned him …”
would’ve

Only after all these formalities did Jueyuan turn to Yin Kexi and Xiaoxiang Zi. He clasped his fists in respect and said, “Little Monk in is charge of the library. I would be responsible for and even punished if even a sheet of paper is lost. Therefore, I respectfully request two gentlemen to return the books you borrowed. I will be very grateful to you two.”
you two gentlemen

He turned to Huang Yaoshi and the others and said, “Little Monk is going lay the case in front of you, please adjudicate for us.”
going to

“Hmm!” Yang Guo intervened, “With your skills, forty or even four hundreds Mongolian officers would not be able to harm you, let alone only four! You were deceiving Reverend Jueyuan!”
hundred

Zhu Ziliu was a scholar and because of his association with his master, he was also familiar of different kinds of scriptures.
familiar with

Botong heartily laughed. “You see?” he said, “Elder Monk is remarkable! I’m helping him to get his books back, yet he helps to them speak! What kind of rule is that? Elder Monk, I want to say something! I want to make sure they stole the books. If they didn’t, I’ll take them back to Mount Shaoshi for them to steal the books. Either they did or did not steal, but they still are the thieves!”
them to

It was at the Mount Hua Sword Meet that Wang Zhongyang won the right to that book. But Wang Zhongyang was a man of honor; he was not greedy. He won the book but did not to take advantage of its contents. On the contrary, he did not even read the book.
Chongyang
did not want
*If WCY did not read the nine yin manual then how the heck did he learn it? I am sure he knows it since he has written parts of the manual inside the ancient tomb.

No wonder Huang Yaoshi and the other were astonished and amazed.
others

But this time Junbao was only staggered and did not collapse to the ground like before.
only

Each one of Yin Kexi punches was stronger than the previous one, but Junbao did not budge.
Yin Kexi’s

Yang Guo whispered, “All you did was let him hit you without hitting him back. You can’t do that. Let me teach you a move. And then you hit him and see what happen.”
'what happens' or 'what will happen'

He did not pay too much attention since he thought what harm could come from the kid’s hundred or two hundreds punches anyway?
hundred

The youngster did not utter any words. He quickly wiped the blood away and walked toward Yang Guo. Kneeling in front of Yang Guo he said, “Benevolent Mister Yang, please teach me another one.”
*Er, Master? So many misters in this chapter.... if its the correct one to use then just ignore this.

Yang Guo nodded. He knew Yin Kexi was paying attention now, so he whispered, “This time I teach you three moves. In the first, your left and right hands are interchangeable. It will look like you use your left, but in actuality it will be your right. When you thrust your right, actually it will be your left.”
you will



Chapter 40 done!

[Athena]

It was at the Mount Hua Sword Meet that Wang Chongyang won the right to that book. But Wang Chongyang was a man of honor; he was not greedy. He won the book but did not to take advantage of its contents. On the contrary, he did not even read the book.

*If WCY did not read the nine yin manual then how the heck did he learn it? I sure he knows it since he has written parts of the manual inside the ancient tomb.

You're right. Wang Chongyang did read the manual (out of curiosity) and became proficient in the art of Jiuyin. This sentence: He won the book but did not to take advantage of its contents. On the contrary, he did not even read the book.
is not in the original Chinese text (at least not in my editions (two and three).

1. Back to the Lankavatara Sutra/Nijia Jing. It will be very difficult to use Nijia Jing, especially in that paragraph on the different translations of that scripture.
2. Bodhidharma/Damo. If we use the pinyin form of the founder of Shaolin martial arts. It should be written as Damo and not Da Mo or DaMo. If one does use Damo, it would be advisable to call him Master Damo, especially when Shaolin monks (Jueyuan, etc.) talk about him.

[Bangs]

You're right. Wang Chongyang did read the manual (out of curiosity) and became proficient in the art of Jiuyin. This sentence: He won the book but did not to take advantage of its contents. On the contrary, he did not even read the book.
is not in the original Chinese text (at least not in my editions (two and three).

Back to the Lankavatara Sutra/Nijia Jing. It will be very difficult to use Nijia Jing, especially in that paragraph on the different translations of that scripture.

Thanks for clarifying that part oh Goddess of Wisdom. And I also made changes to my correction as I suddenly saw something fishy.

[JamesG]

Wang Chongyang's reading of the manual was mentioned back in one of the Ancient Tomb chapters. He probably studied it closely after seeing the Jade Maiden Manual and realized its purpose. I should have remembered it when I got to this chapter.
How about this revision: "It was at the Mount Hua Sword Meet that Wang Chongyang won the right to that book. But Wang Chongyang was a man of honor; he was not greedy. He won the book but did not to take advantage of its contents at that time. He later read the book out of curiosity."


Many thanks to Bangs for his hard work on all of the chapters, to Athena for her help and expertise and the others who helped with their comments.
I'll do my bit now on this final chapter.

A final thanks to all the translators who made the completion of ROCH possible. Well done!


I'll kick-off the LOCH corrections thread maybe by the weekend.

[JamesG]

Thanks for clarifying that part oh Goddess of Wisdom. And I also made changes to my correction as I suddenly saw something fishy.

You were right about the miss-spelled Yin Kexi. It was 11 cases in chapter 37. Thank the gods for the 'Replace' function!

I missed....you missed! We're even!!!

I replaced the chapter in the Reading Room and posted chapter 40 as well.

All done...yeee hawww! [ The Calgary Stampede started last Friday so that explains the 'yee haww'. ]