Chapter 4 observations:
1. Wang Chuyi sternly said, “Jing Guang, what are you talking about?”Lu Qingdu replied, “Yes, yes. I was ordered by Zhao Zhijing Martial Uncle Zhao to guard the back courtyard.
- Shouldn't it be Jingguang?
- Secondly, later on in the chapter we find out that Zhao Zhijing is the teacher of Lu Qingdu. Why would he call his "teacher martial uncle?" This was en error Jin Yong made in his edition 2 of ROCH, he has now corrected this mistake. Personally, I think we should correct this mistake too.
So I would turn it into:"Yes, yes. I was ordered by Master to guard the back courtyard.
2. I saw that Wang Chongyang was referred to as Ancestor Chongyang, I find this a bit off.
I think patriarch Chongyang or founding grand master Chongyang to be better terms. What do you think?
3. I also read this in chapter 4 They had been enemies who turned friends but became enemies again because of love, and agreed to a date to duel on Mount Zhongnan.”
Guo Jing said, “There was no need.”
I had a problem with "There was no need." I found this a bit off too. Wouldn't [That is unnecessary] or something like that sound a bit better?
4. Qiu Chuji’s face turned angry and shouted, “Evildoer, evildoer!”
Evildoer sounds so bookish. Why not just call them [thugs] or [fiends], etc.
5. He (Guo Jing) said to Qiu Chuji, “Elder, why did she save them?”
Actually, Xiao Longnu did not save them. Guo Jing asked:"Shall we help them?"
Qiu Chuji replied that Xiao Longnu will deal with it herself, there is no need for them (Qiu Chuji and Guo Jing) to interfere.