ROCH chapter corrections

[Athena]

Chapter 4 observations:

1. Wang Chuyi sternly said, “Jing Guang, what are you talking about?”Lu Qingdu replied, “Yes, yes. I was ordered by Zhao Zhijing Martial Uncle Zhao to guard the back courtyard.

- Shouldn't it be Jingguang?
- Secondly, later on in the chapter we find out that Zhao Zhijing is the teacher of Lu Qingdu. Why would he call his "teacher martial uncle?" This was en error Jin Yong made in his edition 2 of ROCH, he has now corrected this mistake. Personally, I think we should correct this mistake too.
So I would turn it into:"Yes, yes. I was ordered by Master to guard the back courtyard.


2. I saw that Wang Chongyang was referred to as Ancestor Chongyang, I find this a bit off.
I think patriarch Chongyang or founding grand master Chongyang to be better terms. What do you think?

3. I also read this in chapter 4 They had been enemies who turned friends but became enemies again because of love, and agreed to a date to duel on Mount Zhongnan.”
Guo Jing said, “There was no need.”

I had a problem with "There was no need." I found this a bit off too. Wouldn't [That is unnecessary] or something like that sound a bit better?

4. Qiu Chuji’s face turned angry and shouted, “Evildoer, evildoer!”

Evildoer sounds so bookish. Why not just call them [thugs] or [fiends], etc.

5. He (Guo Jing) said to Qiu Chuji, “Elder, why did she save them?”

Actually, Xiao Longnu did not save them. Guo Jing asked:"Shall we help them?"
Qiu Chuji replied that Xiao Longnu will deal with it herself, there is no need for them (Qiu Chuji and Guo Jing) to interfere.

[JamesG]

4. Qiu Chuji’s face turned angry and shouted, “Beast, beast!”
5. He {Guo Jing) said to Qiu Chuji, “Elder, why did she let them go?”
2. I saw that Wang Chongyang was referred to as Ancestor Chongyang: I changed it to Founder

JY sometimes loses track of where people are: Grandma Sun and YG are on the roof of a building and then are fighting on the ground with no mention of having left the roof. Guess I'll have to help them get off the roof!

[Athena]

Grandma Sun and Yang Guo were forced down the roof/wall by Quanzhen disciples guarding the roof/wall. And the fight continued with other Quanzhen disciples on the ground. That is what I read in the original Chinese (I just checked).

5. He (Guo Jing) said to Qiu Chuji, “Elder, why did she let them go?”
In original Chinese text Guo Jing asked:"Elder, shall we help them?" (them as in those men who were stung by bees).

[Bangs]

(The attacker’s skills weren’t weak, and they were large in number.)

attackers'

(He saw that there was seven mats lined up on the floor, seven Taoists were sitting on them, the left palm of each joined to the next person, their right palms out, resisting the attacks of ten people around them.)

were

(Their feet stood firm to the ground, and couldn’t be pulled onto the floor.)

off (not sure bout this one but I think the sentence wrongfully portray the idea)

(One was wearing a red gown, his head was shiny, he body lanky, and he was a monk.)

his

(He was younger than Guo Jing by a few years, but he spoke with the air of old man, and with arrogance.)

of an old man

(With the fan was in his hand, the man’s strength began to decrease.)

fan in

(The man realized that his opponents’ skills exceeded his so he kept a calm face, let go of the fan and jumped back.)

opponent's

(Guo Jing looked at the men, they were all strange looking, they had high noses and deep eyes, they weren’t from the central plains, his suspicions were raised, but he heard the sounds of weapons clashing outside had died down, and knew the enemy were leaving.)

enemies

(Guo Jing was about to ask who the enemy were, and why did they responded in this way when he saw Yin Zhiping’s right hand was around a large Taoist’s waist.)

respond (no need for past tense as the sentence already has a "did" word to denote past tense)

(He wanted to jump foreword and grab him.)

forward

(He broke out in a cold sweat, he bowed his head and drop his hands and said, “Disciple deserves to die.”)

dropped

(Yang Guo lifted his head, his eyes towards the sky and said, “I want to laugh, what you can do?”)

can you

(Ma Yu said, “If you hadn’t arrived just in time, our sect would have been destroyed. We are not strangers; there is no need to apologize.”)

arrive

(Qiu Chuji brows rose, and after Ma Yu had finished he said to him, “Zhijing led the formation outside; )

Qiu Chuji's brows

(His brows squinted, his was livid; )

*I think there is a missing word here

(Guo Jing thought for a while and said, “Ancestor Chongyang was your teacher, he was the one who built the Quanzhen sect, and at the first Mount Wah tournament he was the victor.”)

*What is the mountain's correct name? I read from another chapter that it is Mount Hua but here its Wah, I hope you guys sort this out.

(Qiu Chuji and raised his head and laughed out to the sky, “Jing’er, this event could fool my teacher, me and now even you.)

Qiu Chuji raised

(The eldest disciple is called Li, you must know about this, in Jiang Hu they call her the “Serpent Deity” Li Mochou.”)

*No corrections here, Im just confused they called LMC as the serpent deity but earlier she was called scarlet immortal.

(Qiu Chuji face changed colour slightly, and said, “What? You’ve seen her? How did this happen?”)

Qiu Chuji's face

(Spring came, me and apprentice brother Wang had to go away to the Shanxi for some business.)

Shanxi

(Qiu Chuji replied, “The reasons to all this wasn’t related to us and originally we didn’t care. One day when the evildoers started to descend on Mount Zhongnan, we decided we couldn’t just stand by, so we listened for more news, and discovered that Xiao Longnu’s apprentice sister Li Mochou started all this business.)

weren't
*there is also a missing " at the end of Qiu Chuji's speech

(Her teacher was saying that if she didn’t stop her evil ways, her apprentice sister will take on the leadership of the sect and expel her from the sect, killing her in the process.)

*no corrections, Im just wondering why it says that LMC will be expelled here when she is already expelled in the first place.

(Li Mochou was furious, and burst though the third set of doors, and fell into the poisonous trap left by her teacher; )

through

(Qiu Chuji said, “That piece of news was heard by apprentice brother Wang from friend of his from the Beggar Clan.)

from a friend

(Whether Xiao Longnu did or did not defeat her apprentice sister, there wasn’t a third witness so no one knows apart from them.)

*isn't it better to say "there were no witnesses" instead of "third witness" as the latter implies that there are two other witnesses but lacking a third one.

(Qiu Chuji said, “I also heard that the evildoers did not even care about the Quanzhen sect. When a large crowd of people descended on Mount Zhongnan, we wanted to intervene and become a needle in their eyes. Apprentice brother Wang and I had received the news, and decided to repel the evildoers. We had gathered all the students of our sect ten days earlier. Apprentice brother Liu and apprentice sister Sun were in Shanxi and couldn’t return. We arranged to practice the “Big Dipper Formations” and we also sent a letter to the tomb to invite Xiao Longnu to the palace. The letter was sent, but there was no reply, Xiao Longnu had ignored us.)

*Again missing " at the end of his speech.

(The two tyrant’s names are quite famous; )

tyrants'

(He wounded the three heroes of Henan, and later on he single-handed killed the seven Lords of Lanzhou.)

single-handedly

(Prince Hua Dou raised his horn and blew.)

*typo here

(Guo Jing had neglected to explain to him that the Quanzhen sect’s kung fu was orthodox and profound, years ago Wang Chongyang’s kung fu was the best in the world, other family’s and other sect’s best fighters could not compare.)

families' and other sects'

(He had seen with his own two eyes that the Taoists swords had been forced out of their hands, even if Guo Jing had explained, Yang Guo would not have believed it.)

Taoists'

(Zhao Zhijing face turned yellow, he raised his hand and wanted to give him another slap.)

Zhao Zhijing's face

(Qiu Chuji said, “You ingrate, do you submit now?” Yang Guo stared at him, with no intent to submit. Zhao Zhijing sat on a rock and recovered his breath. It was as if he had just dueled with a highly skilled opponent, fighting until he was out of breath. At the moment it wasn’t because his arms and legs were tired, it was because he was troubled.)

Zhao Zhijing *YG is fighting Zhao Zhijing here, not Qiu Chuji

(Another said, “Isn’t the Sage of Tranquility Martial Uncle Sun a woman? There are capable woman, don’t be surprised.”)

women

(Zhao Zhijing heard that Martial Uncle Qiu voice was becoming sterner, and became even more scared.)

Qiu's voice

(Yang Guo said, “After Grand Master left, the disciple thought that what you said was right, the disciple must work harder that ever before, and must not disappoint the hopes that Grand Master has for me.”)

than

(Wang Chuji was not present, so his eldest student Zhao Zhijing was in charge of the proceedings.)

*again no correction but names are confusing, now Qiu Chuji is called Wang Chuji.

(Zhao Zhijing said, “You are lazy and mischievous, you don’t practice, of course your punches and kick will become rusty.)

kicks

(“You are talking to an senior, how can you have no manners?”)

a





*This is by far the longest chapter Ive read, it doesnt seem to end...

*Im done... goodnight guys!

[JamesG]

Thanks McDuff ...er Bangs.
I'll put up chapter 5
It's up!

[JamesG]

Athena, we need your expertise:

[QUOTE=Bangs
(Guo Jing thought for a while and said, “Founder Chongyang was your teacher, he was the one who built the Quanzhen sect, and at the first Mount Wah tournament he was the victor.”)

*What is the mountain's correct name? I read from another chapter that it is Mount Hua but here its Wah, I hope you guys sort this out.


(The eldest disciple is called Li, you must know about this, in Jiang Hu they call her the “Serpent Deity” Li Mochou.”)

*No corrections here, Im just confused they called LMC as the serpent deity but earlier she was called scarlet immortal.

(Her teacher was saying that if she didn’t stop her evil ways, her apprentice sister will take on the leadership of the sect and expel her from the sect, killing her in the process.)

*no corrections, Im just wondering why it says that LMC will be expelled here when she is already expelled in the first place.

I think she was just sent away at first and not actually expelled. JG

([B]Wang Chuji [/B] was not present, so his eldest student Zhao Zhijing was in charge of the proceedings.)

*again no correction but names are confusing, now Qiu Chuji is called Wang Chuji.

Typo > Wang Chuyi JG

[Bangs]

I found some mistakes in my post in regards to chapter 4 so I edited it. I'll read chapter 5 tomorrow and post anything I find afterwards. After chapter 5 I wont be logging in for 2 days coz I will travel back home to asia. So until then, I wont be here. See yah guys!

[Athena]

Athena, we need your expertise:

(Guo Jing thought for a while and said, “Founder Chongyang was your teacher, he was the one who built the Quanzhen sect, and at the first Mount Wah tournament he was the victor.”)

*What is the mountain's correct name? I read from another chapter that it is Mount Hua but here its Wah, I hope you guys sort this out.


(The eldest disciple is called Li, you must know about this, in Jiang Hu they call her the “Serpent Deity” Li Mochou.”)

*No corrections here, Im just confused they called LMC as the serpent deity but earlier she was called scarlet immortal.

(Her teacher was saying that if she didn’t stop her evil ways, her apprentice sister will take on the leadership of the sect and expel her from the sect, killing her in the process.)

*no corrections, Im just wondering why it says that LMC will be expelled here when she is already expelled in the first place.

I think she was just sent away at first and not actually expelled. JG

(Wang Chuji was not present, so his eldest student Zhao Zhijing was in charge of the proceedings.)

*again no correction but names are confusing, now Qiu Chuji is called Wang Chuji.

Typo > Wang Chuyi JG

1. Mount Wah: Wah is probably the Cantonese pinyin. So, we will just use the Hanyu pinyin, Mount Hua.

2. We will just stick to Serpent Deity, Chi ---> can also mean scarlet. However, Li Mochou's nickname comes from a poisonous snake called Chilian snake. So, calling her Serpent deity would be more fitting. Or even Scarlet Serpent deity. Come to think of it, I think I like Scarlet Serpent deity.

3. (Her teacher was saying that if she didn’t stop her evil ways, her apprentice sister will take on the leadership of the sect and expel her from the sect, killing her in the process.) In the novel it was if Li Mochou does not stop her evil ways and repent, Xiao Longnu will assume leadership when she turns 18 and shall seek Li Mochou out and rid the sect of this treacherous disciple. Something like that.

4. You've corrected it yourself.

Should it be [Jianghu] and [Wulin]?

[Athena]

1. Jiang Nan

2. “Scoundrel, you don’t have the skill.”
3. He was old and his movements were slow
4. The surrounding Taoists were not his disciples, but were his martial nephews and they all respected his skills.
5. But her fighting skills were still below theirs; however they had never seen such an admirable display of lightness kung fu.

1. Jiangnan

2. Grandma Sun was in fact rather shocked by Zhao Zhijing's martial arts. So, she in fact praised him. Scroundrel, you're not weak either. Or something like that.

3. In the novel, it was a comment on his character not his martial arts. Meaning that Hao Datong was old and had become prudent by the years. Changing it into "Hao Datong was old and had become more prudent by the years." should be more appropriate.

4. In the novel, it was: the surrounding taoists were either his disciples or his martial nephews and they all respected his skills.

5. But her martial arts level was still significantly weaker than theirs;

[JamesG]

I just wanted to take the time to thank my Buddy 'Bangs' and my new friend Athena for their participation in this final 'proofing' of the ROCH translation. I know it's a 'Labor of Love' for both of you. 'Bangs' has become my fresh set of eyes and the 'Black Star' to my becoming complacent.
Athena is my PM 'go to' expert for the book, things uniquely Chinese and my back-up for some changes I feel need to be addressed. Most changes are the result of things that were mistranslated originally or are not consistent [usually found by 'Bangs'] throughout the story. Again, thanks to both of you.

[Bangs]

CHAPTER 5

(The ugly person stretched out their left hand and held his jaw, their right hand held a container, and then they poured some more of the sweet liquid down his throat.)

*it says ugly person which implies one person but the sentence uses "they" to describe the person, "their" is also used which refers to more than one person. Correction of this is up to you cause Im not sure how to correct this as the gender of the ugly person is not even mentioned yet.

(Yang Guo raised his head; he saw a white jade hand lift the hanging, a girl entered.)

hanging curtain

(From the corner of his eyes he took a quick peak, and saw that she was looking at him; he quickly lowered his head.)

peek

(Grandma Sun said, “Ah, it’s another sects’ business, we can’t do anything about it.”)

sect's

(The were many rooms within the tomb, there were complicated tunnels, if outsiders entered, in the dark or even with bright torches and candles they would get lost easily.)

There

(Grandma Sun had bought up Xiao Longnu for the last eighteen years, and she had a desire to bring up a boy.)

brought

(Grandma Sun shook her head, “This old woman never listens to outsiders words, leave me.”)

outsider's words or outsiders' words

(Zhao Zhijing was lying on the stretcher, the wounds from the Jade Bees was unbearable but he knew what was going on.)

were

(Grandma Sun had saw his face had swollen so much that he looked like a pig.)

Grandma Sun saw

(Zhao Zhijing shouted, “What relation is that child to you? How can you stick you nose into this matter?”)

your

(According the rules of Jianghu, without the consent of your teacher, one must not have another teacher, even if that other teacher is ten times more skilled than their teacher.)

According to the

(Even if she said he did thousands or millions of wrongs things, he would have said he did them. Now it’s just a matter of changing sects and it was what he had wanted.)

wrong

(She said he had made Xiao Longnu his master, so even if he was going to make a pig or a dog his master he wouldn’t delay, he said, “Rotten Taoist, scoundrel face, dog brain, bull nose old goat, you hit me, why should I acknowledge you as my master? It’s correct, I have already kowtowed and accepted Grandma Sun and Miss Long as my master.”)

*needs sentence reconstruction as it doesn't make any sense

(Zhao Zhijing flew into the air; whist in the air he called out ‘ai’ again because of the itching pain.)

whilst

(He saw that the ugly old woman skills were extremely strange, he was up against a strong opponent, he made a signal, and six disciples came up and circled them, and formed a “Big Dipper Formation”, with Grandma Sun and Yang Guo in the middle.)

woman's skills

(Ten moves passed then Grandma Sun’s right palm was trapped by two Taoists; from her left another two Taoist attacked, she had to drop Yang Guo and fend them off with her left hand.)

two Taoists

(Suddenly a grey blur emerged from the forest, out came a swarm of Jade Bees, all aiming to land on the Taoists upper body.)

Taoists'

(By the door the two Taoists faces changed and both of them said, “Even if you are a senior, how can we let you do what you want in Chongyang Palace?”)

Taoists'

(Zhang Zhiguang faced turned a shade of red and said, “We are only trying to catch an intruder in the palace.)

Zhang Zhiguang's face

(He words were clear and simple, his voice was bright and loud.)

His

(Grandma Sun did not see that person’s face clearly; she felt a numbing sensation in her wrist and the young Taoist she had in her hands was taking by him.)

taken

(That kick came out of nowhere, her body or skirt didn’t move, the opponents leg was coming into his stomach, there wasn’t time to move back, under this threat he reacted, and channeled more strength into his palm, a ‘hey’ sound was heard as Grandma Sun was pushed backwards.)

opponent's

(He wanted to go over and take a closer look at Grandma Sun’s injury, and give her medicine to heal the wound, but Yang Guo blocked his way and he had couldn’t get close.)

he couldn't

(Hao Datong tried to persuade him a few time but saw that Yang Guo was ignoring him; he became impatient and stretched out his arm to pull him away.)

times

(Hao Datong asked, “Miss; who are you? What do you want?”)

Miss,

(Grandma Sun had bought her up by herself and treated her like a daughter; but Xiao Longnu had lived in a detached state for these eighteen years, and cultivated the sect’s internal energy; she didn’t have a touch of grief or anger in her.)

brought

(Xiao Longnu wrinkled her handsome brows slightly and said, “What do you want me to do?”)

*no correction, Im just wondering if its acceptable to use handsome to describe a lady's feature or body part. ex. "Her legs are handsome." That sounds wrong lol.

(Grandma Sun said, “Lower you head a bit more.”)

your

(Xiao Longnu said, “You killed someone so you need pay the life back, kill yourself and finish this and I’ll spare the lives of all the Taoists here.”)

need to pay

(His kung fu was refined, and as he was steeping back he suddenly leaped up three meters.)

stepping

(She waved her hands, two silk belts moved out like snakes, two ‘ting’ sounds were heard, the ‘Spirit Channel’ (ling dao) pressure points on their wrists were struck, and the four swords struck the floor. The Taoists faces changed color, none of them dared to attack again after that move.)

Taoists'

(His dislike for the enemy increased and he took a long sword out of the hands of one of the disciples, and said, “Miss Long’s skills are excellent, this old Taoist applauds, come, come, let the old Taoist test some of Miss’ advanced skills.”)

Miss Long's *Im not sure if its acceptable to show possession for a title (Miss), I think its better if the name(Long) gets the possession.

(His energy was profound, how easy could it be for someone to knock the sword out his hand?)

out of his

(Eventually Qiu Chuji and Wang Chuyi bought with them ten disciples, and rendezvoused with Liu Chuxuan and Sun Bu’Er.)

brought

(Li Mochou knew that it would difficult for one person to fight off so many good fighters, and so she agreed with Qiu and Wang to a duel.)

would be difficult

(Xiao Longnu’s faced changed and said, “If you want to stay here then you have got to do as I say.)

face

(As she said this she took out a broom from behind the door and said, “If you get of the bed again, you will get ten whacks with this broom.”)

off

(Yang Guo was in awe and said, “Gu Gu, could you teach me this skill tomorrow”)

tomorrow?”

(When Yang Guo heard that Xiao Longnu was going to sincerely teach him martial arts, he then immediately wiped away his initially feelings about her. He was grateful and tears were forming in his eyes, and said, “Gu Gu, you treat me very well, before I hated you.”)

initial

(After a while he quietly called out, “Auntie, I can’t stand it.”)

Gu Gu *Consistency issues

(Xiao Longnu was bought up by her teacher and Grandma Sun, and for these last eighteen years they were her only company.)

brought

(Xiao Longnu said, “When you first sleep on it, it is extremely cold and hard to endure. Only by circulating your chi to oppose it and slowly getting used to it, you’ll be able to practice your internal energy in your sleep. A normal person who practices internal energy, even the most energetic, will have to spend a few hours each day in sleep. You have to be aware that practicing internal energy is opposing the natural flow of things, chi and blood intermix; it is completely different to what happens normally. But each night when you sleep, the chi that is produced in your sleep does not waste the energy you have accumulated in the day, it enhances your internal energy.)

*missing ” at end of XLN's speech

(He was afraid that he going to get lost, he touched the wall and made his way back but after twenty steps or so he lost the light of the main hall.)

he was going

(He sat there for over an hour when he suddenly heard the faint calls of ‘Guo’Er, Guo’Er!”)

“

(Yang Guo thought, “So she has caught a Taoist to fight with me; that will be interesting. It will be best if she caught that Zhao Zhijing; after being taken care of by Gu Gu, he will have to endure my punches and kicks without being able to retaliate, that’ll be great fun. As he followed Xiao Longnu, the more he thought about it, the happier he was.)

fun.”

(Yang Guo said, “Didn’t you say you was going to catch some people to help me practice kung fu?”)

were

(Yang Guo thought, “Oh, so Gu Gu went out to catch some sparrows)

sparrows.”

(When two of them arrived at Chongyang Palace, there were people who had gone in and gave the message of their arrival. After she finished speaking, out came ten’s of Taoists.)

they / the two of them
tens

Done... see you guys in three days! I hope I can catch up to chapter 6.
Laters....

[Bangs]

I just wanted to take the time to thank my Buddy 'Bangs' and my new friend Athena for their participation in this final 'proofing' of the ROCH translation. I know it's a 'Labor of Love' for both of you. 'Bangs' has become my fresh set of eyes and the 'Black Star' to my becoming complacent.
Athena is my PM 'go to' expert for the book, things uniquely Chinese and my back-up for some changes I feel need to be addressed. Most changes are the result of things that were mistranslated originally or are not consistent [usually found by 'Bangs'] throughout the story. Again, thanks to both of you.

No problem really, Im doing this because I love this novel so much and it is a great honor to be of help to you guys.

[fox-s]

I am so happy ... sniff ... more people are involved in this 'labor of love'.

Bangs, finally you are able to make a conribution, and may I say that the contribution is nothing to sneeze at. Thanks to all of you.

I also want to make a public announcement that Eliza Bennet has agreed to be my editor for the yet-to-be posted LoCH, so taking a bit of load off JamesG later on.

Other volunteers are most certainly welcome.

[JamesG]

[Quote](The ugly person stretched out their left hand and held his jaw, their right hand held a container, and then they poured some more of the sweet liquid down his throat.)

*it says ugly person which implies one person but the sentence uses "they" to describe the person, "their" is also used which refers to more than one person. Correction of this is up to you cause Im not sure how to correct this as the gender of the ugly person is not even mentioned yet.[Quote]

Hey Bangs,
This is a literary device used,in this case, to hide the gender of the person for a short time. It's a 'hook' like 'Who was that masked man?'. Nobody talks like that! Just for you I'll change the 'their' to 'the' and remove the 'they' altogether.

[JamesG]

I am so happy ... sniff ... more people are involved in this 'labor of love'.

Bangs, finally you are able to make a conribution, and may I say that the contribution is nothing to sneeze at. Thanks to all of you.

I also want to make a public announcement that Eliza Bennet has agreed to be my editor for the yet-to-be posted LoCH, so taking a bit of load off JamesG later on.

Other volunteers are most certainly welcome.

Yea Eliza!

Hope the other half of the 'Fox Team' gets some 'freedom' soon so he can start updating the Reading Room.

[Bangs]

[QUOTE=JamesG][Quote](The ugly person stretched out their left hand and held his jaw, their right hand held a container, and then they poured some more of the sweet liquid down his throat.)

*it says ugly person which implies one person but the sentence uses "they" to describe the person, "their" is also used which refers to more than one person. Correction of this is up to you cause Im not sure how to correct this as the gender of the ugly person is not even mentioned yet.

Hey Bangs,
This is a literary device used,in this case, to hide the gender of the person for a short time. It's a 'hook' like 'Who was that masked man?'. Nobody talks like that! Just for you I'll change the 'their' to 'the' and remove the 'they' altogether.

Yes I know its something(device thingy) like that but the grammar is wrong. Your corrections fixed the grammar issue I think. Oh and hurray for Eliza!

Oh and of course I haven't forgotten the artworks thingy so please just give Rayon and me a little time to prepare and share our arts. I'm still studying how to use adobe photoshop to decent level and Im confident I can catch up in a month or so, hopefully no other things gets in the way.

Time to sleep, for tomorrow my journey back home awaits!

I wish I didn't have to go home right away.... Ive only been in the US for 2 months now my presence is needed back home.

I'll be back to the US in a few months after I settle a few matters back home.

Laters....

[JamesG]

Have a safe trip Bangs.

[Athena]

I just wanted to take the time to thank my Buddy 'Bangs' and my new friend Athena for their participation in this final 'proofing' of the ROCH translation. I know it's a 'Labor of Love' for both of you. 'Bangs' has become my fresh set of eyes and the 'Black Star' to my becoming complacent.
Athena is my PM 'go to' expert for the book, things uniquely Chinese and my back-up for some changes I feel need to be addressed. Most changes are the result of things that were mistranslated originally or are not consistent [usually found by 'Bangs'] throughout the story. Again, thanks to both of you.

You're too kind. We should thank James for being the editor of this great project.

[JamesG]

Posted chapter 6 tonight.

[Athena]

The two of them were the highest skilled fighters of Quanzhen’s third generation, one was a disciple of Qiu Chuji, and the other was a disciple of Wang Chuyi.

In the novel there was an emphasis on the status of both Zhao and Yin. Saying that one was the head disciple of Wang Chuyi (Zhao Zhijing), the other was the head disciple of Qiu Chuji.
Personally, I have a little problem with that. Because Jin Yong erred with that comment saying that Yin Zhiping was Qiu Chuji's head disciple. First of all we all know that the late Yang Kang became Qiu's disciple two years before Yin Zhiping became Qiu Chuji's pupil. One could argue that with the death of Yang Kang, Yin Zhiping had taken over the position as Qiu Chuji's head disciple.
Second problem is that later on in the story, Yin Zhiping addresses another of Qiu Chuji's pupils, Li Zhichang as senior martial arts brother.
Personally, I think I would change that sentence to:[i]one was Qiu Chuji's finest disciple (Yin Zhiping), the other was a disciple of Wang Chuyi. (Zhao Zhijing).

What do you think?

I have another small issue I would like to address: In the past Jin Yong turned Yin Zhiping into the rapist of Xiao Longnu. A decision he regrets very much now. Because Yin Zhiping did exist and was a revered Taoist enlightened priest.
That is why he created a fictional Zhen Zhibing now. Do we want to keep the image of Yin Zhiping as a rapist for further English readers of this novel? I feel a bit uneasy about it. Just asking what the others think of this?