ROCH chapter corrections

[IcyFox]

OK, I'm coming in.

I'll run through Chap 33 and 34 because they're the most chaotic chapters and Wizard James didn't have much time to run through them (especially Chap 34 because it was the last chapter to be released).

[JamesG]

Oh Bangs....chapter 7 is up!

[Da Bao]

Guys, do you think we should leave Xiao Long Nu's name as it is? Her name is different from the others, and instead of her surname being "Xiao" it's "Long", shouldn't we keep it seperate?

[IcyFox]

Guys, do you think we should leave Xiao Long Nu's name as it is? Her name is different from the others, and instead of her surname being "Xiao" it's "Long", shouldn't we keep it seperate?

Yes, keep it separate. This is a unique name so it's an exception.

[JamesG]

Yes, keep it separate. This is a unique name so it's an exception.

PM Athena for arbitration on XLN's naming convention. It's an easy fix for me.

[Athena]

“The Jade Heart Manual, its skills defeat Quanzhen’s. In the life of Chongyang, he was weaker than no one.”

The Art of the Jade Maiden has surpassed Quanzhen. But Chongyang, in his life, was inferior to no one. What do you think?

The actual reasons behind this, Qiu Chuji and the others did not know, it was difficult for Wang and Yin to explain themselves, they could only use the words ‘not meant to be’ to label what happened. ‘Not meant to be’ was the result and not the reason for their falling out.

The actual reasons behind this, Qiu Chuji and the others did not know, it was difficult for Wang and Lin to explain themselves....

Yang Guo thought, “The Quanzhen follow the motto ‘Aim for Tranquility’, those two Taoists are fourth generation disciples, I don’t know whether they are under the teachings of Hao Datong or Liu Chuxuan.”

The is probably a translation error. In the original Chinese text it was:"The Quanzhen school/sect uses the following characters as hierarchal system [Chu, Zhi, Qing, Jing]. These two Taoists belong to the fourth generation disciples. I don't know whether they belong to Liu Chuxuan's lineage or Hao Datong's lineage.

“We are not far from Chongyang Palace, this duel must not be known to Elders Ma, Qiu, Wang, Liu and the others, otherwise we’ll be punished severely.”

We are not far from Chongyang Palace, this duel must not be known to the grand masters Ma, Liu, Qiu and Wang, otherwise we will be punished severely.

[Athena]

As for the Xiao Longnu or Xiao Long Nu issue....

Longnu [龍女] is also a term itself. It has several meanings, Longnu can mean the daughters of the Chinese mythological Dragon Kings of the Oceans, beautiful maidens who live in the seas.
Or a celestial maiden, for example the daughters of the Jade Emperor were sometimes referred to as [Longnu] in certain myths. In the ancient times [longnu] was also the colloquial term for princess. The emperor was a dragon, his daughters would naturally be dragon girls.

Xiao Longnu was an orphan found originally by Quanzhen disciples and she was adopted by Lin Chaoying's maid. So probably Long was not her surname (it could be), but there is no strong evidence to support that.
So, personally I believe Lin's maid gave that little beautiful orphan baby girl the name Xiao Longnu, with the idea she will grow to be as beautiful as those celestial maidens in myths. Hence, I chose to write is as [Xiao Longnu].
Since [Longnu] is a term, I think it is not appropriate to "dissect" terms.
But what do you all think?

The question is: What did her teacher (Lin Chaoying's maid) have in mind when she named Xiao Longnu/Xiao Long Nu?
1. The little girl with the surname [Long], Xiao Long Nu
2. A little princess or celestial maiden, Xiao Longnu.

[chowbeng]

I am not 100%, but isn't Xiao Longnu addressed as "Miss Long" as in 龍姑娘 by various characters? So maybe her surname could be Long.

[Athena]

People needed a way to address her, so probably they used the [long] character.
It seems a bit rude to call her [Miss in the white dress] all the time. More or less, later on the [long] character became her surname, given by others. But whether it was actually her own surname is unknown.

I am okay with anything. Xiao Longnu or Xiao Long Nu, I am fine with either. I leave the final decision to the main editor of the translation, the good honourable James.

[IcyFox]

I am okay with anything. Xiao Longnu or Xiao Long Nu, I am fine with either. I leave the final decision to the main editor of the translation, the good honourable James.

LOL! This is hilarious.

Wizard, it's your call now.

[chowbeng]

Sorry!
I went a little off topic. I wasn't commenting on "The Xiao Longnu or Xiao Long Nu" as it is, but was merely wondering about her surname. Personally, I think Xiao Longnu fits better too.

Athena, I really like your translations....very smooth and easy to read. I am sure you had inspired more than 1 translator. <3<3<3

[JamesG]

Aaargh! Now I'm 'the good and honorable'.
If you're laughing at this IcyFox:
Xiao Longnu [Dragon Girl] she stays.
Thanks again Athena.

[Bangs]

CHAPTER 7: part 1 (I decided to do it at least in 3 parts coz 1 chapter is damn long and Im a bit busy)

Xiao Longnu said, “If that’s happens, I won’t be able to return to the tomb. I will never dare to disobey my master. Not like you!” She stared at him.

that

Xiao Longnu resisted her feelings, she was afraid of getting emotional, she didn’t dare to say another word and pulled his arm off, she entered the tomb and said, “Lower the stone!” She kept her back to him, she was afraid she was going to change her mind so she didn’t look at him again.

her

Li Mochou didn’t reply and thought, “There’s traps everywhere in the tomb, don’t listen to her.

There are

She didn’t kowtow to her Master’s coffin and said, “Our master disciple relationship has long been cut; why have you bought me here?”

brought

Li Mochou was alarmed and shouted, “You dare to make fun of me?” As she finished she threw out a palm towards Xiao Longnu’s chest. She didn’t know that Xiao Longnu would ignore the palm when she saw it coming.
Xiao Longnu was alarmed and thought, “This palm will kill you.” The palm was inches away from her chest, when she took the palm back. Xiao Longnu said calmly, “Apprentice sister, the tomb’s ‘Dragon Snapping Stones’ have been activated!”

Li Mochuo *In this part it is LMC who is thinking not XLN
Xiao Longnu *use XLN's name instead of 'her' in order to avoid confusion

The hero Wang Chongyang had become a Taoist, for her there wouldn’t be a man who would die for willingly for their loved one.

die willingly for

She waved her left hand; more ten “Jade Bee Needles” were thrown out.

more than ten

Xiao Longnu felt her internal energy dripping away, and said, “Guo’er, I’m won’t make it, take me to the room with the stone coffins.”

I

Xiao Longnu smiled and said, “Just get out for a second and you came come back to be with me later.” Yang Guo climbed out of the coffin.

can

The room was empty, and both of them looked up at the ceiling, it was covered with carvings and symbols; on the far right were written the words “Nine Yin Manual”.
The two of them didn’t know the “Nine Ying Manual” was martial arts at its highest level; they looked at it for a while and felt that it was hard to explain.

*Yin or Ying? I believe its Yin as in Yin and Yang

He retreated to deep into the mountains and built a thatched hut.

deep



Part 1 ends here... sorry James I hope you dont mind if I do it by parts.

[JamesG]

Part 1 ends here... sorry James I hope you dont mind if I do it by parts.

Heck no, it lets me stay ahead of you by two or three chapters.
Less stress for both of us.

[IcyFox]

Chapter 33 Errata


Some queries:
A. How do you guys spell 'Kublai'? Is it 'Kublai' or 'Khubilai'?
B. How do you guys write Xiang Yang? 'Xiang Yang' or 'Xiangyang'?
C. For a conversation, sometimes it starts with :" while at other times it starts with ," so which should be used?
D. Are American spellings used throughout as opposed to British spelling?
E. Is 'martial arts' supposed to be singular or plural?
F. I thought the name "Long Sleeve Ghost" has already been changed to "Long Beard Ghost"?


Corrections

1. Should it be Mongke or Meng-ge?

2. The Yellow River had just thawed.
The Yellow River had just melted.

3. The innkeeper tried his best to arrange matters...
The innkeeper tried his best to accomodate the guests...

4. The sky became darker, the snow got heavier and heavier.
The sky became darker and the snow got heavier.

5. Three riders anxiously rushed up and stopped at the inn entrance.
Three riders hurriedly rushed up and stopped at the inn entrance.

6. After saying that, she then rushed into the hall.
After saying that she rushed into the hall.

7. The crowd saw this female figure become clearer and she looked around 30 years old, with a peach colored cheeks...
The crowd saw this female figure become clearer and she looked around 30 years old, with peach colored cheeks...

8. The Mongolian prince Khubilai Khan personally directed the combat...
I don't think Kublai was a Khan at that time.

9. Even some four or five year-old or six or seven year-old children were tied up...
Even some four- to seven-year-old children were tied up...

10. “Correct! This must be the world-famous ‘ Eagle Hero ‘!”
“Correct! This must be the world-famous 'Divine Eagle Hero' !”

11. The Sichuan person asked, “He is called the “Eagle Hero”?”
The Sichuan person asked, “Is he called the 'Divine Eagle Hero'?”

12. “Eagle Hero, Eagle Hero... ... “Turning her head...
"Eagle Hero, Eagle Hero... ..." Turning her head...

13. I heard the Emperor also once asked but...
I heard once the Emperor also asked but...

14. But we do not know how, but that Ding Da Quan...
We did not know what happened, but that Ding Da Quan...

15. Who knew several days later, the Licheng county magistrate interrogated the local evil tyrant...
Who would have known that several days later...

16. Afterwards the Prison
Warden told me that the tyrant bribed the County Magistrate...
New paragraph indicated when unnecessary.

17. A capital offence is punished with death; ten capital offences were also punished with death...
A capital offence is punished with death; ten capital offences are also punished with death...

18. My aunt led my cousin, begging for food along the way, went to Shandong from Henan, then went to Shanxi from Shandong, looking for my uncle’s whereabouts.
My aunt led my cousin, begging for food along the way, and went to Shandong from Henan, then went from Shandong to Shanxi, to look for my uncle’s whereabouts.

19. But because my aunt and my cousin’s appearance is good...
But because my aunt and my cousin’s appearances are good...

20. ...Seeing colour...
'Colour' or 'color'?

21. I am a high Mongolian official, and would I cheat for my slave’s money?
I am a high Mongolian official, and would I cheat my slave’s money?

22. ...So who dared to say a word about fairness?
So who dared to say a word of fairness?

23. A young girl like you doesn’t know anything, when others exaggerate such matters; you immediately proclaim how great this person is.
A young girl like you doesn’t know anything; when others exaggerate such matters, you immediately proclaim how great this person is.

24. Guo Jing never forgot the Jiangnan Seven Freaks’ kindness, and was very respectful towards them and treated any blind person or dwarf kindly, teaching the children to do that too.
Guo Jing never forgot the Jiangnan Seven Freaks’ kindness, and was very respectful towards them and treated any blind person or dwarf kindly, teaching his children to do the same.

25. This voice sounded li away...
This voice sounded several li away...

26. ...One of whom was a senile old woman...
'Senile'? Doesn't sound too appropriate.

27. ...But this big headed dwarf is looking after her...
But this big headed dwarf was looking after her...

28. “Tigers, tigers! 100, 200 of them...”
“Tigers, tigers! 100! 200 of them...” (It sounded like there were 100,200 tigers.)

29. Carving the names of those who offend him on the iron pages...
Carving the names of those who offended him on the iron pages...




Notes : I know Chapter 33 sounds awkward and unnatural at times but it was my first translation attempt so that probably explains it. There were some sentences which sounded funny but didn't seem wrong so I left them alone.

[IcyFox]

About the title "神雕侠侣".

The most accurate translation I can think of is "Heroic Divine-Eagle Lovers". I think "Divine Eagle, Gallant Knight" isn't that accurate.

[JamesG]

About the title "神雕侠侣".

The most accurate translation I can think of is "Heroic Divine-Eagle Lovers". I think "Divine Eagle, Gallant Knight" isn't that accurate.

Khubilai is the most correct as is Mengke with an 'e' After Mengke's death all the Mongol tribes would have to gather to appoint a new Khan so Khubilai would not have been Khan during the time of this book.
I'll print out your comments on the sentence structure and pay special attention to them when I get to that chapter. As someone that lives where some rivers freeze over the words thawed and melted are correct. In your sentence thawed is correct since the word ice is not in the sentence: ie Yellow River ice had just melted.
'American' English has been used.

[IcyFox]

Aaargh! Now I'm 'the good and honorable'.
If you're laughing at this IcyFox:
Xiao Longnu [Dragon Girl] she stays.
Thanks again Athena.

Actually, I was laughing at something else. This probably proves that army folks have an abnormal sense of humour.

[IcyFox]

Chapter 34 Errata:


A quick question : Is Dali supposed to be 'Dali' or 'Da Li'?


1. He knew that he was young and handsome and attracted lots of girls already.
He knew that he was young and handsome and had already attracted lots of girls.

2. ...He went looking and arrived at the forest...
Hhe went looking around and arrived at the forest...

3. The Xishan Ghosts were holding tight to their dear lives in the battle against the beasts.
The Xishan Ghosts were holding on tightly to their dear lives in the battle against the beasts.

4. “Can you hold your palms and listen to me for a second.”
“Can you hold on and listen to me for a second?”

5. If you have any skills, come down here and pull the animals yourself.
If you have any skills, come down here and stop the animals yourself.

6. The bigger animals were down or pushed back staggered by each hit.
??? I'm not sure how I should correct this.

7. Yang Guo had used the heavy black-steel sword; weight about 70 catties...
Yang Guo had used the heavy black-steel sword which weighed about 70 catties...

8. She plays with leopards, yet does not take Shi Brothers’ side.
She plays with leopards, yet she's not on the Shi Brothers’ side.

9. Even though Guo Xiang had stopped her ears...
Even though Guo Xiang had covered her ears...

10. Her internal energy was better than an average martial artists...
Her internal energy was better than an average martial artist...

11. Shi Bo Wei understood the threat very well...
He mistook it for a threat.

12. The Black Dragon Marsh is surrounded by several li of more than ten foot deep sludge.
The Black Dragon Marsh is surrounded by several li of more than ten-feet deep sludge.

13. “It is you who bully me.”
“It is you who bullied me.”

14. ...It was clogged with slit year after year...
It was clogged with silt year after year...

15. He knew that Ci’en would have been dead if he did not possess a profound internal energy.
He knew that Ci’en would have been dead if he did not possess profound internal energy.

16. With a sigh he said “Jin Lun Fa Wang has come back to the central plains,” he said.
With a sigh he said, “Jin Lun Fa Wang has come back to the Central Plains.”

17. “She was my wife, her name is Ying Gu.”
“She was my concubine, her name is Ying Gu.”

18. If this Yang Guo has any ideas, we might as well try it. Worst case we still cannot meet her.
If you have any ideas, we might as well try it. At the worst we still wouldn't be able to meet her.

19. Even though her ears were stopped...
Same mistake as No. 9.

20. Emperor Duan...
I would use 'King' because there is only one Emperor of China.

21. Oftentimes I could not figure out what to wish...
'Oftentimes'? Is there such a word?

22. Emperor Duan, I seduced your wife, and you did not help my child. It’s a draw.
Emperor Duan, I seduced your wife, and you did not save my child. We're quits.

[JamesG]

"20. Emperor Duan...
I would use 'King' because there is only one Emperor of China"

Athena suggested to me a couple of days ago to change all mention of kings to emperors.

Dali China in 1142 . Dali 大理 pinyin : Dàlǐ

'Oftentimes'? Is there such a word? Yes it is a word although oft-times is also used.

Even though Guo Xiang had stopped her ears... Plugged her ears..meaning she stuck a finger in each ear