is ch10 coming yet? *tapping the table*
i'm so behind to join the conversation.........
is ch10 coming yet? *tapping the table*
i'm so behind to join the conversation.........
Well, have you read everything up to the latest update on 9 so far?
Can't be demanding 10 when you haven't even gotten past 5 yet.
Still, I've actually got all of 9 and about the first twenty pages of 10 ready to go, but I have a policy: I don't post a new update until one of the writers of the other fanfics post an update to their stories. My purpose is twofold: to give the other writers a fair chance to have a turn, and to keep my fanfic in the top slot as long as possible.
Episode 9 continued...
2Lt. Jolie Minh returns to the Centurion Team’s barracks. It’s 00:44. Jolie stretches and yawns. It’s late, and she’s tired.
Too exhausted to change out of her uniform, Jolie flops onto her bed.
Athena enters the room that she shares with Jolie. Her face is expressionless.
Too tired to offer the usual cheerful greeting, Jolie wearily says, “Hi, ‘Thena. ‘Night, ‘Thena.”
Athena grabs Jolie by the collar of her uniform, dragging Jolie off of the bed in a single, brutal move. Athena pulls her fist back and lands a devastating punch on the teenager’s beautiful left cheek.
The shock of the blow sends Jolie careening across the room, where she lands on Athena’s bed.
Athena comes at Jolie again, raising her fist for another punch.
The sheer unexpectedness of Athena’s first punch, and Jolie’s own grogginess, resulted in Jolie’s being unable to avoid or block the blow. That isn’t going to happen a second time, however.
Jolie blocks Athena’s second punch with her left arm, then lashes out with a punch of her own with her tiny, but deceptively powerful right fist. The punch catches Athena on the side of the nose, not breaking it, but causing it to bleed from the left nostril. The blow knocks Athena across the room, where she lands on Jolie’s bed.
“What’s your f**king problem?!” Jolie demands angrily, “Crazy b*tch!”
Jolie’s punch seems to have knocked some sense back into Athena. At the very least, she doesn’t try to hit Jolie again. She does ask, however, “Why? Why did you do it, Jolie?”
“Do what?!” Jolie demands.
“Destroy the CFM compound,” Athena says, her nose still bleeding, the blood running into her mouth, “I told you not to act without orders. Why didn’t you listen to me?”
“But I did have orders!” Jolie replies hotly, “I…uh…”
“What orders?” Athena asks, “From whom?”
Jolie hesitates, remembering Colonel Cairlay’s instructions to tell no one, not even Athena, about the operation.
“TELL ME, DAMMIT!” Athena demands, the fire of rage in her eyes.
Shocked by Athena’s outburst of anger, Jolie responds with some anger of her own, “It was Colonel Cairlay! He told me that there was G3 toxin at the CFM compound and they couldn’t wait for you to decide what to do about it! I did the job because you wouldn’t, is that good enough for you, CAPTAIN?!!”
“Colonel Cairlay,” Athena says, now fully realizing what has been happening. Athena’s blood boils, but her anger is not directed at Jolie anymore.
Athena pulls out her handkerchief, wiping her blood out of her mouth and nose. Although she no longer blames her junior executive officer for what happened, Athena just can’t face Jolie…not right now.
Athena puts on her officer’s hat and her overcoat, leaving the barracks to find some place to clear her mind. She slams the door behind her as she leaves.
Jolie picks up a heavy paperweight, made in the shape of the Earth Federation Government’s logo, from one of the two desks in the room. Jolie hurls the paperweight at the door; the paperweight shatters upon impact.
Early the next morning, Athena is in Colonel Cairlay’s office, inquiring about the events of the previous evening.
“I must apologize, Captain,” Cairlay says without a hint of sincerity, “that I needed to circumvent your authority and order Lt. Minh into action immediately. The new information that we received from central intelligence indicated a grave and imminent threat, and you were occupied elsewhere. We needed to act on that information right away, as you must certainly understand.”
“Yes, sir,” Athena says, maintaining composure despite the anger seething inside her.
“I hope you didn’t blame Lt. Minh for taking action without your authorization,” Cairlay smiles falsely, “You and Jolie are such good friends. I’d hate to think that your friendship has been damaged in any way by the previous evening’s events.”
“No, sir,” Athena says, “the Lieutenant and I both understand the fluid nature of the situation and the need for us to be flexible in our responses to the needs of the moment.”
“Thank you, Captain,” Cairlay says, “Now unless you have further questions, you may be dismissed.”
“Thank you, sir,” Athena replies, leaving for the barracks.
Cairlay smiles with some satisfaction. For once, he’s been able to outmaneuver that smart-aleck girl and her talented, immature sidekick.
A phone call arrives for Colonel Cairlay. It is General Blackhead at Side 7.
“Yes, General,” Cairlay says into the phone, “Yes, our little White Phoenix has torched the CFM compound. That should silence them for the time being.”
Cairlay listens to Blackhead’s response, and his smile soon fades, he says, “That’s worrisome news, then. All right. We’ll be standing by if necessary, sir.”
Cairlay hangs up the phone, brooding upon what General Blackhead has just told him: General Bright Noah will soon be returning to Cislunar Space and he bears grim tidings from the Asteroid Belt – the Neo Zeon remnants have assumed a full civil war position. War could break out in the Asteroid Belt and the Outer Colonies at any time. The Special Forces will soon be on Yellow Alert standby for redeployment to the Asteroid Belt.
Episode 9 to be continued...
Last edited by Ken Cheng; 06-12-07 at 05:37 PM.
After Episode 10, Part I wraps up. This thread ends, and a new thread starts for Part II, which will begin with a new Episode 1.
Part II is the longest part. The original draft had it at 50 episodes. Looking at it now, alot of it was filler, so it might get cut down to 40 episodes. Haven't decided yet.
Part III is written to be a 2-hour movie, but you probably won't be seeing that until 2009.
wow...you really put your heart and soul into this, ken.....im impressed, extremely....
Thanks.
What I like about the pacing of the story is that you get to grow up with the characters. It begins with Part I in the year U.C. 0097, when Athena is 18 and Jolie is 15. At the end of Part I, we're at the end of U.C. 0098 and Athena is 19 and Jolie is 16. Part II covers U.C. 0099-0100, so by the end of Part II, Athena is 21 and Jolie is 18. Then, there's a five year gap between Part II and Part III: it ends in U.C. 0105 when Athena is about 26 and Jolie is 23. They both grow up quite a bit during those years. By the end of the saga, you'll see how both have changed...and yet still remained the same in some ways.
Last edited by Ken Cheng; 06-13-07 at 02:10 AM.
jolie 1 thena 0, however, my only problem is the fight too short! i expect few wuxia exchanges and hard blows
another character i dont like but i say such action is long overdue. if jolie couldnt "subdue" thena yet, i m happy with dory and cairlay doing it their way....
and ghost dearie, you are not that far behind. i agree that reading several chaps is way more enjoyable than part by part.... pls, take note ken.
2009? hmmm, maybe i turn on my silent mode instead of yakking nonstop j/k.... now you know why people never drop in a line!
ken, I will PM u later on VOLTRON, got to finish that discussion - not really related here. wanna join us, ghost? you are most welcome.
That was just a warm up round (I always have a warm up round). The *real* round is in Episode 10.
It's going to be more of a beatdown than a fight, though.
Well, don't forget that Colonel Cairlay is supposed to be a *bad* guy. Dory's definitely not an evil person, but Cairlay and Blackhead are quite evil. You'll see how evil they can be in the next episode. If you don't end up hating those two guys, I'm not doing my job right as a writer.another character i dont like but i say such action is long overdue. if jolie couldnt "subdue" thena yet, i m happy with dory and cairlay doing it their way....
Oh, don't stop, please: I find your "yakking" makes me more productive and improves the quality of my edits. I feed off of your feedback to write better (I hope) material, so keep it coming!2009? hmmm, maybe i turn on my silent mode instead of yakking nonstop
wtf?!! Athena cant lose to that brat!!!
yeah, ken, take the advice of an old friend, and a keen reader!
as much as id like to join, the only thing i remember about voltron is the robots, and thats it. too young to remember it, but on sidenote, i am a very forgetful person, i dont even remember the name of my favourite cartoon back when i was a kid.....well, i do remember it got lots of robots tho...
im surprised you *senior* people would be so into this thing.....wait....it's like TRansformers cult, rite??
Da One and Only,
ghostdarTeal'c
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idols: Mark Dacascos and Vicki Zhao Wei
Fav Artists: Zhang Tie Lin, Cheng E Kin, Vin Diesel, Jet Li, Amy Chan Sau Man, Michelle Rodriguez, Theresa Lee Yee Hong
Fav Series: The Great General, Heroine of The Yangs, Huan Zhu Ge Ge I & II, Secret Battle of The Majesties
Fav Movies: The Matrix I, G.I Jane, Fist of Legend, Drive, Gladiator, 2009 Lost Memories, So Close, Crying Freeman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius; Commander of the Army of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor; Marcus Aurilius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
- The Spaniard -
Athena's a very good, well-trained, and smart fighter, but Jolie is a goddess of fighting. But more importantly, Athena is going to be very hampered by her guilty conscience. She doesn't even *want* to fight back.
Sheraldine is eventually going to print all of this out and bind it.yeah, ken, take the advice of an old friend, and a keen reader!
The 1980s were kind of the Golden Age of Robot Anime. In addition to VOLTRON and TRANSFORMERS, there was also ROBOTECH.as much as id like to join, the only thing i remember about voltron is the robots, and thats it. too young to remember it, but on sidenote, i am a very forgetful person, i dont even remember the name of my favourite cartoon back when i was a kid.....well, i do remember it got lots of robots tho...
im surprised you *senior* people would be so into this thing.....wait....it's like TRansformers cult, rite??
Jolie doesn't have much guilt to carry around (except for her role in the destruction of the CFM compound, which I'll be dealing with shortly). That's one main difference between Jolie and Athena. Athena grew up with guilt (because of her family heritage, and some of the things she has personally done since). Jolie has a free conscience...for now, anyway.
The two girls have very different views on morality. For Jolie, it's very black and white: there's a right and there's a wrong, and in Jolie's mind, it's not hard to distinguish between the two. For Athena, the world is full of greys (where she operates): good and evil are not absolutes, but relative values. That's why she keeps encouraging Jolie to read Machiavelli and Nietzsche; she wants Jolie to understand that concept (Jolie gets its; she's not stupid, but she rejects that relativist way of thinking).
As far as fighting goes, Athena is the brain, Jolie is the "muscle." (despite being a fairly small girl physically - 160 cm tall, 40 kg in weight; by comparison, Athena is 175 cm tall and weighs about 45 kg ). They're a perfect team: one plots strategy, the other uses her phenomenal physical skills to carry out risky and dangerous moves. It's like having Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan on the same basketball team.
Part II focuses on Jolie's development. She continues to be the happy free spirit she is in Part I at the beginning, but things begin to change for her. At the end of Part II, she'll be forced to deal with the darkest moment of her life (possibly even darker than the death of her parents and brother).
Last edited by Ken Cheng; 06-14-07 at 12:49 AM.
Athena cant lose to that brat!!!
and my i ask, why not dearie, hmmmm?
im surprised you *senior* people would be so into this thing.....wait....it's like TRansformers cult, rite??[/quote]
no lah.... when voltron was out, it was like "first" of the kind... despite transformer and robotech somewhat around voltron timing, malaysian tv and other station either dilly dally around each other or competing with one another.... i actually remembered, tv 2 has this batman series, while tv 3 showing superman. for me, i will go for batman but for the die hard comic fans it is like !@#$%^&*())_! as for the robot anime, voltron was introduced in my teens.... where as transformer a bit later.... robotech last... by then i m in my twenties.... so you see, it isnt really a senior thingy...it is a matter of timing. for the younger generation, it is the thundercats and heMan stuff.... am i right dearie?
still mad....
dont be mad lah... jolie is sooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeee like sheraldine lim here... only i am much much older.....
great, now make sure Jolie gets her own fair share of guilt too...
ken.... it is getting personal..... it is no longer between thena and jolie.... either is me or ghost....
j/k.....justttttttttt kiddingggggggggggggg
pssstttttttttttt ghost.... i can bet ken is enjoying reading this! glad to make him a happy man!
cuz she's got better analytic mind than Jolie, who is mere muscle! in my mind, she's like Huang Rong la.....she can win by mere wits....
but as ken said, Athena doesnt WANT to fight...so that settles it....she can beat Jolie but she chose not to....
oh, did i say i dont like Jolie? LOL
moral support is important, yes...yes it is, and we're it....*nods*Originally Posted by sher
Last edited by ghostdarTeal'c; 06-14-07 at 04:12 AM.
Athena of Gundam has even more to herself. apart from Carter's brain, she's also got the muscles tell me whatever can beat that?