Great One Liners

[flyingfox2002]

What are some good/great one-liners that you have heard or said in real life?

In HS, one of my math teachers, who happens to be Hungarian, loved to use big vocabulary words to substitute for ordinary words. One day, this kid was eating something in class, and the teacher said: "Mr. ________, (he always addressed students by Mr. or Ms. and made us write our last names in Hungarian phonetics too... but I digress) are you masticating in my class?"

Everyone in the class just bursted out laughing! Of course, "masticate" means "to chew," but it sounds like another word. This line is a gem that you can use at anytime to get laughter or shock (in the case of humorless bores).

Has anyone got any other funny one liners to share (that we might be able to recycle for own use)?

[skylee]

"Hard work will pay off later. Laziness will pay off now!"

[annaaa]

"YUR MAMA!....................
is a nice lady"

[fridaythe13th]

Something a friend of mine said that I can't get out of my head for some reason. "Isn't England the capital of London?"

[imthatlady]

^ LOL omfg =/

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i've had many manyyyyy memorable one liners..too bad i forgot them all damn blonde moments =S

[sarakoth]

"Is Italy a state?"

Grade 8, Social Studies

[PJ]

Always be yourself, unless you suck.

[pink-cherry]

Picasso is realy dead?


I ask that in 5th form my history teacher. I was so emberessed....

[sarakoth]

Someone points to a picture of Shaq and asks "Who is this?"

Other person replies . . .

"Michael Jackson??"