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Thread: Challenge: conceive the WORST possible wuxia story

  1. #1
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Default Challenge: conceive the WORST possible wuxia story

    Here is an opportunity to create a wuxia plot so terrible, it will make people vomit, spit blood, and want to spread the bad words to the farthest galaxy.

    You just need to give the basic premise -- one or two paragraphs.

    Anyone brave enough to tackle this challenge?
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

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    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    I think TVB already did that by making Ye Gucheng's "Outer Heaven Angel" being taught to him by aliens; hence, 'outer heaven'.
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    Senior Member kwekmh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    I think TVB already did that by making Ye Gucheng's "Outer Heaven Angel" being taught to him by aliens; hence, 'outer heaven'.
    You could make aliens teach a character a skill to make him invincible, and God teach another character another skill so he can defeat the invincible character. :P

    Then the aliens and God will fight in the end. Who will prevail?

    Worst wuxia plot? Let me rack my brain for one. :O

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    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwekmh View Post
    Worst wuxia plot? Let me rack my brain for one. :O
    Don't need to. Gu Long wrote more than a few.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

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    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    I think TVB already did that by making Ye Gucheng's "Outer Heaven Angel" being taught to him by aliens; hence, 'outer heaven'.
    That's not TVB lah. It's Singapore version. Starring Eric Suen, right?
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

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    Senior Member dewyloony123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Don't need to. Gu Long wrote more than a few.
    I SECOND THAT! (most emphatically, too!)

    Half the time, it looks like his stories start along the lines of:

    It's dark as night. Why?

    Because the night is dark!

    People are dying! How?

    They were cut down by a blade! Whose blade?

    The sharp blade of invincible character A!

    ... who's promptly cut down by invincible character B...

    ... who's cut down by invincible character C...

    ... then hero D emerges and unlike the other doofuses, he's *actually* invincible. To save herself, C reveals herself to be a woman... by revealing herself. D is stymied. C attempts seduction. The story continues.



    I'll come up with a horrible wuxia plot, I promise!

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    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    I think TVB already did that by making Ye Gucheng's "Outer Heaven Angel" being taught to him by aliens; hence, 'outer heaven'.
    TVB can be bad, but not THAT bad (at least not with LUK SIU FUNG). The 1970s LUK SIU FUNG portrayed Yip Goo Sing more or less the way he was meant to be portrayed, and he didn't appear long enough in the 1980s version to get screwed up in any meaningful way either.

  8. #8
    Senior Member yittz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dewyloony123 View Post
    I SECOND THAT! (most emphatically, too!)

    Half the time, it looks like his stories start along the lines of:

    It's dark as night. Why?

    Because the night is dark!

    People are dying! How?

    They were cut down by a blade! Whose blade?

    The sharp blade of invincible character A!

    ... who's promptly cut down by invincible character B...

    ... who's cut down by invincible character C...

    ... then hero D emerges and unlike the other doofuses, he's *actually* invincible. To save herself, C reveals herself to be a woman... by revealing herself. D is stymied. C attempts seduction. The story continues.



    I'll come up with a horrible wuxia plot, I promise!
    I think you just did. Well, unless Gu Long claims copyright for his 'style' of writing.
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  9. #9
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yittz View Post
    I think you just did. Well, unless Gu Long claims copyright for his 'style' of writing.
    Dead men enforce no copyrights.

  10. #10
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dewyloony123 View Post
    I SECOND THAT! (most emphatically, too!)

    Half the time, it looks like his stories start along the lines of:

    It's dark as night. Why?

    Because the night is dark!

    People are dying! How?

    They were cut down by a blade! Whose blade?

    The sharp blade of invincible character A!

    ... who's promptly cut down by invincible character B...

    ... who's cut down by invincible character C...

    ... then hero D emerges and unlike the other doofuses, he's *actually* invincible.

    Wow, you just summarised like 100 chapters worth of the start of Gu Long books in 8 lines.
    Its BIxie Jianfa Gawdammit you guys!!!!

  11. #11
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    Superb summary.

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    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CC View Post
    Wow, you just summarised like 100 chapters worth of the start of Gu Long books in 8 lines.
    I agree! *clap* *clap* *clap*
    Read the latest chapters of Coiling Dragon at Wuxia World!

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    Senior Member dewyloony123's Avatar
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    Thank you everybody--ya'll are too kind Guess I ought to quit school and write the worst wuxia stories ever since dead men know no copyrights

  14. #14
    Senior Member Ian Liew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    TVB can be bad, but not THAT bad (at least not with LUK SIU FUNG). The 1970s LUK SIU FUNG portrayed Yip Goo Sing more or less the way he was meant to be portrayed, and he didn't appear long enough in the 1980s version to get screwed up in any meaningful way either.
    They did it with Iron Blood Big Flag Sect - unless Gu Long actually wrote about UFOs, special alien sword which can slice through butter and alien technology which killed of Night King by covering him with webs and making him explode. Haven't actually read the book.

  15. #15
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    What?! Tell, Ian, tell! Tell me about it!
    Read the latest chapters of Coiling Dragon at Wuxia World!

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    Senior Member kwekmh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Liew View Post
    They did it with Iron Blood Big Flag Sect - unless Gu Long actually wrote about UFOs, special alien sword which can slice through butter and alien technology which killed of Night King by covering him with webs and making him explode. Haven't actually read the book.
    You serious, Ian? That sounds so ridiculous.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Han Solo's Avatar
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    You guys are too quick to expose the failing of GL when JY and other writers tend to have over-ridiculous plots involving side-characters too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bliss
    I think they're probably at the same level as or one level below Ah Qing, which is about the level of a 2nd or 3rd generation Quan Zhen disciple.
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  18. #18
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Han Solo View Post
    You guys are too quick to expose the failing of GL when JY and other writers tend to have over-ridiculous plots involving side-characters too.
    More GL than JY, and mostly due to their popularity. Although you have to admit, GL's writing style WAS summarized up pretty well in dew's post...
    Read the latest chapters of Coiling Dragon at Wuxia World!

  19. #19
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    More GL than JY, and mostly due to their popularity. Although you have to admit, GL's writing style WAS summarized up pretty well in dew's post...
    There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, however. I've discovered that some readers prefer Gu Long to Jin Yong because Gu was more succinct; as I understand it, Jin could be excessively verbose at times.

  20. #20
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    More GL than JY, and mostly due to their popularity. Although you have to admit, GL's writing style WAS summarized up pretty well in dew's post...
    Well, seeing that GL wrote nearly 4x more books than JY and didn't have the chance to rewrite and rewrite his books again and again except for 1 book, of course, GL will have more lousy books than JY.

    Agree that dewyloony123's post summarises GL's style very well, but I don't see what's wrong it that style. That style of GL is made for easy reading. GL's books are the easiest to read for those not very literate in chinese or just started learning to read chinese.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Liew View Post
    They did it with Iron Blood Big Flag Sect - unless Gu Long actually wrote about UFOs, special alien sword which can slice through butter and alien technology which killed of Night King by covering him with webs and making him explode. Haven't actually read the book.
    Most probably made up by TVB. According to some discussion in wuxiasociety forum, Night Emperor didn't die. The book ended in a cliffhanger, but the fate of Night Emperor can be found in Legend of Chu Liu Xiang.
    Last edited by kidd; 12-24-07 at 06:17 AM.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

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