Just for laughs (Share ya daily funnies)

[remember_Cedric]

Feed them.......but not at the wrong time.


Freaked out!


Fight back


Love them......but don't overdo it.


You know an animal is trully your pet when.......you both have reached the level of telepathic

[Lifeburner]

LOLZ!!!!!

Ahem...

*pulls cute hamsty off the cage* C'mon babeeyy, geroff that stupid cagee!!!!

Anyway, here's another one for ya:

Blonde Joke
A blonde girl went to an electronic shop, and called on the shopkeeper.

Blonde girl: I want to buy this television. How much is it?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we don't sell it to blondes.

The blonde girl then went out, and after putting on a wig, she returned.

Blonde girl: I want to buy this television. How much is it?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we don't sell it to blondes.

The blonde was annoyed, so she went out again and put on a heavy make up on her face, that her face looked completely different. To top that off, she put on another wig. Then she returned.

Blonde girl: I want to buy this television. How much is it?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we don't sell it to blondes.

She was then exasperated. She went for a total change and underwent a plastic surgery. She returned one month after.

Blonde girl: I want to buy this television. How much is it?
Shopkeeper: Sorry, we don't sell it to blondes.
Blonde girl: How the heck do you know that I'm blonde?!
Shopkeeper: Ma'am, this is not a TV. It's a microwave.

And for the next joke.... I don't know whether I've told you this before.

The 4 of the world's most famous secret intelligence services were gathering together to see who had the quickest method in capturing a target. These were the American CIA, the British MI6, the Russian KGB, and the Israeli Mossad. They were to capture a designated animal in a forest.

First, off went the MI6 agents, which were to capture a fox. They went into the woods, put around small tracking devices, and about 5 hours later, they return with the fox. The other three applaused.

Next, the turn went to the CIA, and they were tasked to capture a squirrell. Most of their agents didn't even enter the wood, but instead tehy powered their laptop on, and by the means of their satellites, the one agent they sent inside was able to retrieve the squirrell about 3 hours later. The other three applaused.

Then, it was the KGB. They didn't use any kind of sphisticated equipments, but instead they sent one whole army into the forest, and half an hour later, they got their animal, which was a bear. The other three applaused.

And the last turn went to Mossad, which agents were to get a rabbit. Tehy sent several agents inside, and half a minute later they returned with another bear, which was bruised and had scar all over it's body. The bear screamed, "OKAY, OKAY, I ADMIT IT!!!! I'M A RABBIT!!!!"

The other three gave them a standing ovation.

[remember_Cedric]

LOLZ!!!!!

Ahem...

*pulls cute hamsty off the cage* C'mon babeeyy, geroff that stupid cagee!!!!

Buddy, you're so funny

Hey, that's one nice joke..... lmao

Oh watch it! Hamsty is homey one....hamsty loves the cage. careful of those bites

[wkeej]

Finally, finished all the pages. Here's one. Thinks it is not here yet

A man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.
Before he left in the morning, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.”On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclosed a note:
Dear Madam:Enclosed find a cheque in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that1) it had never been occupied;(2) that there was plenty of heat;(3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and at home Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn’t any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir, First of all,(1) I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.(2) As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on.(3) Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please don’t blame the landlord.

[atlantean0208]

Finally, finished all the pages. Here's one. Thinks it is not here yet

A man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.
Before he left in the morning, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.”On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclosed a note:
Dear Madam:Enclosed find a cheque in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that1) it had never been occupied;(2) that there was plenty of heat;(3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and at home Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn’t any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir, First of all,(1) I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.(2) As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on.(3) Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please don’t blame the landlord.

LOL, I don't get it about the *furniture* part, so confusing

[Han Solo]

LOL, I don't get it about the *furniture* part, so confusing

Replace furniture with equipment.

Get it?

Han Solo

[atlantean0208]

Replace furniture with equipment.

Get it?

Han Solo

LOL, this is making me more confuse

[Han Solo]

LOL, this is making me more confuse

LOL.

Think of a man's equipment!

Get it noW?

[LuNaR]

Finally, finished all the pages. Here's one. Thinks it is not here yet

A man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.
Before he left in the morning, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment “RENT FOR APARTMENT.”On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclosed a note:
Dear Madam:Enclosed find a cheque in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that1) it had never been occupied;(2) that there was plenty of heat;(3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and at home Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn’t any heat, and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir, First of all,(1) I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.(2) As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on.(3) Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please don’t blame the landlord.

this 1 is good


funniest essay ever
http://www.scribd.com/doc/91/It-seem...gh-hilarious-#

[wkeej]

LOL.

Think of a man's equipment!

Get it noW?

Doctor always explain so profoundly. I was still thinking how to tell atlantean0208.

[remember_Cedric]

 click to show spoilers

Picture says it all....

[LuNaR]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlWDJQXeihg

hilarious hahahha

notice the lizard on the table. then watch it the 2nd time and notice the noice he makes

[TiffTiff]

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office and while there the Doctor asked for a sperm count.

He gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.

She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

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The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."

For all of you with the dirty minds, you should be ashamed !!

[LuNaR]

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office and while there the Doctor asked for a sperm count.

He gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.

She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

""""" scroll down for more""""""


























































































































The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."

For all of you with the dirty minds, you should be ashamed !!

[Lifeburner]

CEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I HAAAAATTEEEEEEEE YYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

(screw spidey! gimme my hamstie back! )

And for my next joke, it's a shortened version of a lengthy one. It goes like this:

A man, let's say his name's Jack, went to a holiday in Egypt, where he got lost in the desert. His car (which he rented before the trip) was stalled, and he had to continue his journey by foot. Finally, he was unable to cope with his thirst any longer and he fainted. Some times later, he woke up and he saw in front of him a snake, looking at him. He at first had thought that the snake was gonna bit him, and that would mean his death.

However, it turned out that the snake could spoke. He was startled. The snake introduced itself as Nathan, or Nate, the guardian of a certain lever, which if pulled, would cause the destruction of the entire world. Now that his eyes came to focus, Jack actually saw Nate wrapped up on a kind of stick, which protrudes from the sand, and that the stick somehow resembled a lever. Nate also revealed that it could grant any mortal who found him three wishes, with a condition attached to each wishes made.

In short, Jack, driven by his curiosity, asked away and wasted all of his wishes. First he asked for his health to be recovered, and Nate agreed. The second was a ride back home, and Nate agreed still. The last one was a successful career, and Nate still agreed. The last wish, however, came with a string attached. That is, Jack would replace Nate as the guardian of the lever, and would pull the elver if the human race proved to bring too much disaster to the world. Jack complied, and walked back home, promising Nate that he would return several months later.

Several months after the event, Jack returned to the desert, and found Nate with a young snake on his side. Nate said that it was his son, Sam. And he also asked Jack if he could take Sam for a ride, since Jack brought with him a car. Jack said yes. They drove the vehicle from one end of the desert to the other end, before finally deciding to go back. However, when they returned, they got a problem with their brakes, and Jack was left with no choice other than to either slam right and hit the lever, or left and hit Nate. He and Sam looked at each other. It was a hard decision to make. Jack had grown fond of Nate ever since he spent his time with this elderly snake, and he also despised the nature of his own race, the human race. Their deeds had brought waste to the once green world. They had killed each other in stupid wars, and they heeded no good counsels. Finally, with a heavy sigh he steered hard to the left, and yelled to Sam: "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER!"

[remember_Cedric]

CEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I HAAAAATTEEEEEEEE YYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

(screw spidey! gimme my hamstie back! )

Hahaha, sorry Burnie! Hang in there, ok? Hamsie need abit time to recover....need an auspicious time to return. You funny guy, with your jokes Keep 'em coming!

Thank you for hating me. But I don't hate you and I won't say the opposite of "I hate you" because it will create misunderstanding. (joking! )

Short stupid jokes about -Nobody- from me:

Joke 1: A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over, and NOBODY was at home. -_-

Joke 2: Nobody is perfect. I AM NOBODY

Joke 3: The Parish Priest was opening his mail one morning.

Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope, he found written on it only one word... 'FOOL'.

The next Sunday at morning mass, he announced to his congregation, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names. But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name but forgot to write a letter..."

[atlantean0208]

Doctor always explain so profoundly. I was still thinking how to tell atlantean0208.

LOL, it's so funny when Han Solo keep wanting to explain it clearly to me, when I just playing it that I can't understand the joke over and over - hahaha - . Or is it, Han Solo just follow and playing it around - haha

[Lifeburner]

Okay, I think for this time, I'm gonna share this. Props to Taishi Ci 2.0 for writing it. GJ, mate!

It needs a little understanding about ROTK, though....

http://www.the-scholars.com/viewtopi...=398796#398796

And for Ced, look at my new siggy! That's another weird cut-off from ROTK for you. And after you finished looking at it, gimme hamsty back.

[remember_Cedric]

Yes, I read your siggy, my friend! Hamsie thank you for the support, Burnie!

What is ROTK? I know GJ stands for Guo Jing though.


I find this rather brilliant but the death of the Triceratops is amusingly stupid. Watch!

Deleted scene of King Kong 2005. Must see! - Triceratops creating havoc!

[LuNaR]

Yes, I read your siggy, my friend! Hamsie thank you for the support, Burnie!

What is ROTK? I know GJ stands for Guo Jing though.


I find this rather brilliant but the death of the Triceratops is amusingly stupid. Watch!

Deleted scene of King Kong 2005. Must see! - Triceratops creating havoc!

romance of the 3 kingdoms