Yang Guo + Xiao Long Nu -- lovey-dovey scenes!

[dewyloony123]

I can't believe it. This is the mushiest dialogue I've ever read or heard.

This dialogue is only fit for comedy.

ewww...

Actually, that stuff is only kosher if said tongue in cheek. I guess it's possible--XLN *does* have a slight jocular streak.

In my defense, as far as I can recall, this wasn't in the novel translation on SPCNet, which was the 2nd ed translation, right? I guess the 2nd ed >> 3rd ed.

[PJ]

XLN (smiling): "So...did you think about me?"
YG: "Course I did! At least 200 times a day."
XLN: "200 times isn't enough. I want 300 times."
YG: "I'll think of you 400 times a day, then. 200 times in the morning, and 200 times in the afternoon."
XLN: "Think of me at mealtimes, too - another 100 times. That's 500 times a day."

[A bit later...]

XLN (sighing): "Think of me in your dreams, another 100 times! So when we part, you must think of me at least 600 times a day."
YG: "We'll never part again. And if we do, I'll think of you 700 times a day."
XLN: "800 times!"
YG: "900 times!"
XLN: "1000 times!"

[Yang Guo, his heart aflame with passion, cannot stop himself from taking her into his arms and kissing her...]

The above would have been an excellent setup for a hot peak of passion, I cannot wait, take me now sex scene.

By the way, any chance you could post the Chinese text of the above? I am curious to see whether it sounds any better in Chinese or not.

[PJ]

And what in the world is this mysterious thing going by the name of Love Actually?

[dewyloony123]

And what in the world is this mysterious thing going by the name of Love Actually?

Lucky you--you haven't been inflicted with the awfulness that is actually Love Actually Before patricia_n gets on my case, here's an impartial description, courtesy of Wikipedia. And here's an approximation of my opinion of the movie.

I think the premise had promise, but the execution was dreadful :-/

[Ken Cheng]

The above would have been an excellent setup for a hot peak of passion, I cannot wait, take me now sex scene.

Frankly, I've heard better dialogue in porn flicks.

Maybe it does sound better in Chinese. It *has* to, or my view of Jin Yong will take a huge hit.

[Ken Cheng]

er... or do you mean to say you can IMAGINE better dialogue in porn flicks?

Probably not. It's usually pretty bad (so bad, it's good; porn flicks are unintentionally hilarious).

[dewyloony123]

Probably not. It's usually pretty bad (so bad, it's good; porn flicks are unintentionally hilarious).

Oh Ken. I thought I saw your foot in your mouth, so I was trying to help you cough it out. However, I think you just pushed it in deeper...

[Ken Cheng]

Oh Ken. I thought I saw your foot in your mouth, so I was trying to help you cough it out. However, I think you just pushed it in deeper...

Friday night porn videos was something of a tradition at the UCLA dormitories back in the day.

My roommate Sean was a film student. He used to ramble on at length about the "art" of pornographic filmmaking. It was funny listening to him dissect a skin flick as if it were a Scorsese film.

[PJ]

Frankly, that mushy language is spot on for exactly what some people I personally know would say to each other just before, and even during, some lustful bedroom action. Maybe even the mighty Male Chauvinist "Louis Cha" Jin Yong has a weakness when it comes to love ^_^

After all, Jin Yong did say that the primary goal for writing 3rd editions was to make them more realistic. By inserting the mushy language in the 3rd edition, it sounds like Jin Yong's way of saying "that's more like it."

[Ken Cheng]

Frankly, that mushy language is spot on for exactly what some people I personally know would say to each other just before, and even during, some lustful bedroom action. Maybe even the mighty Male Chauvinist "Louis Cha" Jin Yong has a weakness when it comes to love ^_^

Why say anything at all, really?

Like it says in those Nike ads, "Just DO IT!"

[PJ]

Some people like to talk dirty during the bedroom thing.
While others like to talk more flirty.
Still, some others prefer to talk mushy.
I've seen each of the above in real cases ^_^

[dewyloony123]

Frankly, that mushy language is spot on for exactly what some people I personally know would say to each other just before, and even during, some lustful bedroom action. Maybe even the mighty Male Chauvinist "Louis Cha" Jin Yong has a weakness when it comes to love ^_^

wait... how do you know? Do you spy on the people you know?

As far as PDA goes, this stuff isn't too unrealistic, actually. I've seen cutesy PDA like this that works--but only when spoken tongue in cheek.

[owbjhx]

By the way, any chance you could post the Chinese text of the above? I am curious to see whether it sounds any better in Chinese or not.

小龙女微笑问道：“那么你想我不想？”
杨过道：“当然想啊，一天至少想两百次。”
小龙女道：“两百次不够，我要三百次。”
杨过道：“我一天想你四百次，上午两百次，下午又两百次。”
小龙女道：“你吃饭的时候也想我，又多一百次，一天想五百次。”

小龙女叹了口气道：“…那你在睡梦里也想着我了，又多一百次！以后我们分开了，
你每天至少要想我六百次。”
杨过道：以后说什么也不分开了。真要分开了，我每天想你七百次。”
小龙女道：“八百次！”
杨过道：“九百次！”
小龙女道：“一千次！”

To answer Ken: no, it doesn't sound any better in the original Chinese.

There's some yet mushier nonsense in between the two sections, where Yang Guo describes how he eats noodles by sucking them through his nostrils - so as to allow him to continue calling out "Gu Gu! Gu Gu!" even while eating.

[Ken Cheng]

There's some yet mushier nonsense in between the two sections, where Yang Guo describes how he eats noodles by sucking them through his nostrils - so as to allow him to continue calling out "Gu Gu! Gu Gu!" even while eating.

That's actually kind of funny, though...and not just in that "trainwreck of a passage" way.

[dewyloony123]

小龙女微笑问道：“那么你想我不想？”
杨过道：“当然想啊，一天至少想两百次。”
小龙女道：“两百次不够，我要三百次。”
杨过道：“我一天想你四百次，上午两百次，下午又两百次。”
小龙女道：“你吃饭的时候也想我，又多一百次，一天想五百次。”

小龙女叹了口气道：“…那你在睡梦里也想着我了，又多一百次！以后我们分开了，
你每天至少要想我六百次。”
杨过道：以后说什么也不分开了。真要分开了，我每天想你七百次。”
小龙女道：“八百次！”
杨过道：“九百次！”
小龙女道：“一千次！”

To answer Ken: no, it doesn't sound any better in the original Chinese.

There's some yet mushier nonsense in between the two sections, where Yang Guo describes how he eats noodles by sucking them through his nostrils - so as to allow him to continue calling out "Gu Gu! Gu Gu!" even while eating.

WOW, that was hilariously bad. Thanks for the share.

I'm disappointed in Mr. Cha. First, it isn't really consistent with XLN's character--she's not very verbally expressive. What makes more sense is her just staring silently at YG when they reunited after the 16 years while he talked to her nonstop. This doesn't really make sense.

Secondly, it's not consistent with YG's character--he's mushy, but he's not a complete dunce, which he'd have to be one to suck noodles through the nostrils (I hope he was joking...)

Thirdly, it's awful writing.

Mr. Cha, this casts doubts on your abilities as a writer.

[owbjhx]

WOW, that was hilariously bad. Thanks for the share.

I'm disappointed in Mr. Cha. First, it isn't really consistent with XLN's character--she's not very verbally expressive. What makes more sense is her just staring silently at YG when they reunited after the 16 years while he talked to her nonstop. This doesn't really make sense.

Secondly, it's not consistent with YG's character--he's mushy, but he's not a complete dunce, which he'd have to be one to suck noodles through the nostrils (I hope he was joking...)

I think Jinyong made an effort to warm up the Yang Guo / Xiaolongnu relationship in the 3rd edition - hence scenes like these. (If I remember correctly, XLN did crack one joke in the 2nd edition...). As for YG's noodles-through-the-nose, I reckon that was a joke, too.

Thirdly, it's awful writing.

Mr. Cha, this casts doubts on your abilities as a writer.

Dialogue has never been one of JY's strong points, even if you ignore the above aberration. His strengths and weaknesses are similar to those of Charles Dickens or (in film) George Lucas: good vision, an eye for the iconic moment, and terrific at coming up with character ideas; but sickly sentimental, forces everything, and amateurish at execution.

[HuangYushi]

小龙女微笑问道：“那么你想我不想？”
杨过道：“当然想啊，一天至少想两百次。”
小龙女道：“两百次不够，我要三百次。”
杨过道：“我一天想你四百次，上午两百次，下午又两百次。”
小龙女道：“你吃饭的时候也想我，又多一百次，一天想五百次。”

小龙女叹了口气道：“…那你在睡梦里也想着我了，又多一百次！以后我们分开了，
你每天至少要想我六百次。”
杨过道：以后说什么也不分开了。真要分开了，我每天想你七百次。”
小龙女道：“八百次！”
杨过道：“九百次！”
小龙女道：“一千次！”

owbjhx: Thanks for posting it.
It sounds like something from a teeny-bopper idol romance flick that comes out of Taiwanese studios!

---

I'll close the gap and post the Chinese text of the noodle-through-the-nostrils section:

杨过道：「我吃饭的时候也想你，想啊想的，心不在焉，把面条吃进了鼻孔里去。」小龙女噗哧一笑，说道：「那 就不好过了。」杨过道：「我不理，鼻子一吸，把面条从鼻孔里吸了进去，嘴巴再一吸，就到了嘴里，再一吞，就 吞进了肚里。」小龙女扁扁嘴道：「啊唷，那可脏死了。」杨过道：「不脏，不脏，我从小就这幺吃面条，味道还 挺好的。我吃饭时想你，嘴里轻轻叫着『姑姑！姑姑！』，嘴巴没空，就用鼻子吃面条。」小龙女心中感动，说道 ：「过儿好乖！你晚上不睡觉，又多想一百次。」
杨过道：「晚上不睡觉不行。我要睡着了才能做梦，好晚晚梦见你，紧紧抱住你，说道：『亲亲好媳妇儿，我要你 做我媳妇儿！』一面叫，一面亲你的脸，又亲你好美丽的眼睛。」
小龙女叹了口气道：「你说要我做你媳妇儿，那真好，我自然要做。....

Rough "chee-naa" translation (with missing lines mentioned in Post #60):

Yang Guo: When I eat, I also think of you. Then I become unfocused and end up feeding the noodles through my nostrils.

Xiaolongnü (laughs): That will not feel nice.

Yang Guo: I don't care. I take a deep breath, and the noodles get sucked in through the nostrils. Then, I take another deep breath with my mouth, and the noodles end up there. After that, I swallow, and the noodles enter my stomach.

Xiaolongnü (makes a face and pouts): A-yo, that would be dirty to death!

Yang Guo: No, not dirty, not dirty at all! I have been eating noodles like this since I was small, and the taste is still quite good. When I think of you while eating, I will still call 'Gugu, Gugu!' softly. Since my mouth is occupied, I use my nose to eat the noodles.

Xiaolongnü (feels touched): Guo'er is so nice! Don't sleep at night, and you will think about me a hundred times more.

Yang Guo: No, I can't go without sleep at night. I need to sleep, so that I can dream ... dream of you, of holding you tightly and saying 'My dearest wife, I want you to be my wife!' As I speak, I kiss your face and your beautiful eyes.

Xiaolongnü (sighs): You say that you want me to be your wife. That is very good; I would naturally want to do so ....



---

Ken: What did you throw up this time, considering how barf-worthy this passage is, especially that part about Yang Guo's reasons for sleeping at night? Reading it in Chinese isn't as bad as translating it, and seeing the English words appear on the screen letter by letter. I nearly threw up myself!

[owbjhx]

Rough "chee-naa" translation:

Nicely done! Totally puke-tastic!

Ken: What did you throw up this time, considering how barf-worthy this passage is, especially that part about Yang Guo's reasons for sleeping at night?

After reading the "1000 times" bit, I don't think Ken has anything left.

So it'll be the stomach lining, then.

[pannonian]

Could someone translate some of the new Guo Xiang passages? I enjoyed reading her thoughts in the 2nd editions, and I'd like to see the 3rd edition additions. I'm sure they won't be as vomitworthy as the YG-XLN dialogues.

[HuangYushi]

Nicely done! Totally puke-tastic!

Thanks!
But I suddenly noticed that I missed out a couple of lines in my haste not to throw up the snacks that I happened to be eating at that time. Post #57 has been edited to include these additional nauseating lines (albeit in a slightly different sense).