Zhao Min has all the qualities Xiao Zhao has and more. She's elegant and incredibly intelligent. Zhao Min's controls of so many wulin experts already shows her leadership skills. What's wrong with showing off her intelligence? She knows how to use them to her advantage and reach her goals. She believes in fighting for the one she loves. It's not like she forced ZWJ to be with her; she knew that he shared the same feelings. Zhao Min would do the same thing that Xiao Zhao did if she was put in her situation: sacrifice her happiness and even her life for the one she loves.
Xiao Zhao may not be overall boring, but she always put others before her (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and lack a little of an 'ambition' that many people in Jiang Hu has.