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Thread: The Legend of Zhang Ling'er

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    Post The Legend of Zhang Ling'er

    Tales of Love - The Legend of Zhang Ling'er


    Characters
    Main Character: (order as appearance in story)

    Zhang Ling'er
    Miao Tien Feng
    Yi Yan
    Zhao Tien Long
    Tang Xue Jian

    Supporting: (order as appearance)

    Miao Jiang Feng
    Li Mu
    Ah Fu
    Zhang Er Niang
    to be added...

    Author's Note
    Hi everyone. I'm very much new in this fiction forum, but many of you may have seen me around in other forum for a number of years by now. ^_^

    Anyway, this is my first attempt at a wuxia fiction, so please forgive me for any mistakes or grammar errors I make in this story. As a warning too, this story will be long.

    Because I'm cannot speak Cantonese or mandarin, or is even Chinese, I use Chinese names from random dramas or characters and play around with it. Therefore, if any of the name sounds weird or funny, please let me know so I can change it.

    I ENCOURAGE comments, suggestions, and criticisms (though be gentle ) are they are big part in improving writing skills. So please, don't hesitate to do so.
    Last edited by Xiaoqain14; 01-19-09 at 02:30 PM. Reason: editing character's list
    "The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation form the self." - Albert Einstein

    Currently Writing: The Legend of Zhang Ling'er - Ch.1 added

  2. #2
    Member Xiaoqain14's Avatar
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    Default Chapter One: The Battle in the Mountainside

    The sun is setting in the sky, reflecting it’s golden light upon the land below, as a young maiden, no younger than 17, ran through the forest grounds, in hope of returning back to her village in time for the night’s celebration. Today is the first of winter, and as a tradition of the Silver Lotus Village, there will be a festival to honor the gods, in return for their blessing upon the land for the fecundity of the village’s latest harvest.

    Zhang Ling’er stopped to catch her breath, as she had been running for more than twenty minutes, and there is not much hope in returning to her mother before the festival begins. As a native of the land, Ling’er is able to decipher the amount of time it takes to get back into her village from the mountain, in which she had spent the majority of her lifetime, training the art of swordplay and mastering her internal energy from the nuns who resided in the Lotus Temple at the top of the mountain.

    Today, Ling’er had been occupied in learning a new technique of mastering her internal chi that she overlooked the time in which she is supposed to return home. Looking up at the sky to predict how much time she have left, she calculated and leapt up, somersaulting over the trees, using her inner chi to carry her toward the village. If she cannot make it to her mother in time, she might as well meet her mother in the village, where she knew her mother will be waiting for her, probably knowing that she would be late for the festival.

    With only ten minutes to spare, Ling’er flew at the speed of lightning, balancing herself with her inner energy as she ran across the top of the trees. She smiled to herself as she smells the chilly, but fresh air that blew pass her. There were even small amounts of the cherry blossom scents that emanate from the village in the distance. She is getting closer to home.

    Just as Linger spotted lanterns lights from the distance, she suddenly heard the clanging of weapons echoing from the opposite direction of the village. Curious, she stopped, balancing her foot on one of the tree branch as she focused for the sourced of the sound. Judging from the amount of weapon clanging against each other at the same time, there must be at least twenty men at battle, and they are not that far from the village.

    Knowing that she should be heading toward her village for the festival, Ling’er couldn’t suppress her curiosity and followed the source of the sound. About two minutes later, more if she hadn’t used her inner energy, she arrived at the scene. Hiding behind a tall bush, she peeked out and saw a man standing face to face with a group of five men dressed in black, their face masked. The sound of the clashing weapons had died down.

    The man, she predicted, is in his late forties and is not a native of the land. He must have come from the city farther much farther north of her village, like a distance city or maybe even the capital. However, after taking a closer look at his armor and uniform, he doesn’t look like any new comer from the central land that comes to visit her village when she was younger, but more like the soldiers she seen marching through mountain towards the border, and the scouts that would come through her village market in order to buy supplies for their troops.

    The sun had finally set and the crescent moon had risen in place, reflecting its light through the dark night. Ling’er hardly moves a muscle in her body as she watched the men, whose shows no sign of movement from either side. Trying to ignore the foul smell of the dried blood of the dead soldiers and the bodies of the black-dressed men around them, she watched intently.

    Sword stained with blood, the man showed no sign of stepping back nor did he show any sign of fear in his eyes. Seeing him reminded Ling’er of her late her late father who is well know among the region for his bravery and courage. Most people would probably dropped their weapons and flee for dear life, or maybe even get on this knees and begged for their life, losing any sense of dignity that they have.

    After what seems like hours, the man lifted his sword pointing its tip toward the five men, who made no sign of retreating back. “I,” he spoke fearlessly, “Miao Jiang Feng, had never done anything to harm anybody out of military affairs. What have I done to upset you and cause the blood of my men to scatter in place of mine?”

    The men looked at each other, speaking not a word, but giving each other eyes contact. One of them, probably the leader, nodded to his men and stepped forward toward Miao Jiang Feng. Holding his weapon by the handle, he clasped his left knuckled in his right palm. “My brothers and I have no feud against you, or with any of the men that came with you. However, these are orders from our higher officials and we had no choice but to abide by their orders.” He bowed his head and gathered himself into an offense position, his sword in an attacking stance. His actions are followed by the other four men behind him.

    Miao Jiang Feng laughed. “Good. If you want to take my life, come and take it,” he said, also putting himself into offense. “Let’s see which one you will have that potential.”

    “Let’s fight and see!” the rest of the men yelled and charged into their duel. Each of the five men moved into their position, surrounding Miao Jiang Feng. They retracted their sword and hauled it toward their opponent’s upper body. With all five men surrounding him, Miao Jiang Feng had no choice but to leapt up over the coming swords and somersault over the men’s head, swooshing his sword to slash their neck but they immediately withdraw their sword to fend it off.

    Once landed, Miao Jiang Feng charged against his enemy as the came for him. On and on, they fought into the night, oblivious that Ling’er had been watching them for more than twenty minutes from a nearby bush. The clashing of their weapons echoed into the night, the metal from the weapons reflected the moonlight at certain angles, causing Ling’er to blink from the light reflected toward her eyes.

    At a glance, it looks as if both sides are equally strong, though the mask men are more likely to win because they outnumbered the Miao Jiang Feng. However, at a closer look, she can tell that the one who was holding back was Miao Jiang Feng for there are times he can take the life of his opponent one by one. Fortunately for them, he had held back.

    About twenty minutes later, Miao Jiang Feng leapt up over the five men, swirled his sword around, and channeled his chi into the sword before thrashing it toward his opponents. Seeing the sword coming toward them, the men were forced to retreat 10 steps and dodge left or right, from the direction of the sword speeding towards them. Unfortunately, only three of the men escaped as the other two, who were behind them, didn’t see the coming sword that flew right through their upper chest, one after another. Both men screamed as the momentum of the sword caused them fall backward and hit the ground with a loud thud.

    The other three, upon seeing two of their comrades down, they charged back at Miao Jiang Feng, this time screaming for more vengeance. Another ten minutes passed as Miao Jiang Feng still had the upper hand and the other three are now wounded from the impact of their opponent’s sword. Miao Jiang Feng, who hadn’t landed, was in an upside down position with his hand thrusting his internal force to his three opponents, causing them to fall backward to the ground and dropped their weapons, which scattered close by. Just as they got back on their feet and hurry to grab their weapon, Miao Jiang Feng landed right in front of them, stopping them in their track. Without saying a word, he lifted his right hand toward them, causing fear in the men’s eyes.

    With little effort, Miao Jiang Feng channeled his chi into his hand and used it to retrieve his sword, which landed about twenty-five feet in front of them after it flew through the two men, who lay lifeless on the ground not far from it. The sword flew right into his hand, in which Miao Jiang Feng clasped and sheathed it. Ling’er watched in amazement, for she never seen anyone who is able to retrieve their sword from such a far distance. At least except for her sifu, who had mastered the Advance stage of mastering her temples’ greatest pride, the Silver Lotus Swordplay, which relied mostly on resilient internal energy.

    Ling’er is in the beginner levels of the Intermediate stage in the Scriptures, but even she can only retract her weapons at only twelve feet. Miao Jiang Feng must have cultivated his chi to his fullest, for he didn’t seem to use much effort to retrieve that sword from about thirty feet away. She would have to practice for at least five more years for her to be at his level.

    The three men looked at each other. “What should we do brothers?” one of them asked. “We failed to the mission they gave us. They would take our lives for sure.”

    “There’s nothing we can do,” the one who seemed to be the youngest cut in. He looked at Miao Jiang Feng with hatred. “There’s only one option. We’ll fight to the death! If we were to die, we’ll take him with us!” Without warnings, he reach down and grasped his sword tighter, which was two feet away from him, and charge forward, ready to strike his opponent.

    Unfortunately, the other two reached out and grabbed him, stopping him. “Let me go!” he yelled as he shrugged them off, but their grips were tight on his shoulder. “Li Mu! Don’t be impulsive!” the leader yelled at him.

    Miao Jiang Feng clasped his left knuckle into his right palm. “I beg for your forgiveness. If I, General of the Great Dragon Legion, had caused you trouble to the three of you, I will be happy to assist you in any way I can,” he said calmly as he bowed his head in respect.

    At first, Ling’er was a bit taken back by his response to the ones who tried to take his life. However, seeing how Miao Jiang Feng had held back earlier and computing his attitude toward his enemy, she knew that he wanted to make friends more than foe.

    “We don’t need your good deed!” Li Mu retorted back, his shoulder still in the grip of his two companions.

    General Miao looked at the other two, who looked away from him, but with a more respect than Li Mu. He laughed and replied, “Good. You can’t help others without their consent. If you don’t need my help, then I’ll take my leave here.” He nodded too the three men and turn to leave.

    However, Li Mu suddenly shoved his companion’s grips off his shoulder and charged forth to the general. “Stop! Miao Jiang Feng!”

    Having let his guard down, Miao Jiang Feng turned, expecting to face Li Mu, but only to face two puffs of white smoke that flew directly at his eyes. “Ach!” he screamed as he realized that the white smoke is a poison that had already penetrated the eyes, causing him to not be able to see. Luckily, he shut his eyes in time and used his inner chi to force come of it out. Otherwise, he will become blind.

    Meanwhile, as the general was trying to recover from the sudden attack, Li Mu seized it as an opportunity, raised his blade across him, ready to strike his opponent’s upper body as he came toward him again. “Die!”

    “Li Mu!” his fellow members screamed after him as his blade strikes his foe. The leader of them suddenly leapt up toward Li Mu, trying to stop his friend from doing anything rash. ”Stop it right now!”

    Unfortunately, his effort to try to stop his companion was intervened by a white flash that flew right by him and toward his destination. Before anyone can comprehend, a loud clash of two blades was heard, and Li Mu felt a blow to his chest by a strong but unknown force, causing him to fall back a few feet from his target. It was then followed by nothing but dead silent and the breathings of the four men in the forest ground.

    Everyone watched in astonishment as the white flash turned out to be a young woman. Her hand wields a thin sword, in which she pointed toward Li Mu, and her face was firm with signs of anger and distaste. Li Mu quickly recovered from the sudden blow and faced the unidentified woman with great anger. “How dare you interrupt me, little girl,” he stated as he lifted his blade against her. “No one attack me from behind and gets away with it!” As he finished the sentence, he leaped forward and strike.

    Ling’er smiled at Li Mu as she channeled her chi into her hand and used it to thrust her sword forward with great strength and power that forced Li Mu to retract his blade and take a few steps back. She then retracted her sword and took a step forward to Li Mu as the other two men came and stood behind him behind him. “Li Mu, are too much! How can you consider yourself a man?” she yelled at him. “How can any of you consider yourself worthy of being a man? Sneak attack isn’t a deed of a real man!” Before any of the three can react, she swiftly turns and rushed to the General’s aid. “General Miao, are you alright?”

    The General, who had succeeded in forcing most of the poison out, is able to recover from his shock and is listening intently to the situation, although he still cannot open his eyes. “I’m all right,” he answered as she helped him straighten up. He clasped his knuckle to his palm again and thanked her. “Thank you, xiao gu niang, for helping me. If it wasn’t for you, I’ll be a goner. This deed I will never forget in my entire life.”

    Ling’er smiled and nodded, grateful that he was all right and that she had done the right thing. She wanted to clasp her knuckle too, but there is no use since he couldn’t see. “General Miao doesn’t have to thank me. I cannot just stand and watch others committing such dishonorable deeds.”

    He smiled at her. “You are such a good person, xiao gu niang. But I still have to thank you for saving my life. If you ever need anything, I will gladly repay you. But for now, I am still under the influence of the remaining poison and still cannot see,” he informed her. “Xiao gu niang, please leave quickly. They will kill you if you don’t go now. Go. I cannot protect you in the condition that I am in.”

    Ling’er ignored him and turned to the three masked men. “This is not any of my business and I am sorry for meddling into your affairs. But you had not fight a fair battle and therefore lost. I suggest you should admit defeat and let the General come with me before words of this let out.”

    “Insolent girl!” Li Mu spurted back and steps forward to face her. “Who do you think you are, meddling in our affairs? I suggest you run along and go back to where you come from. This is no place for a child.”

    Ling’er kept calm even when she is insulted. It is a skill required when practicing the Silver Lotus Swordplay, which requires patient, determination, and intelligent to master the final Advance Stage of the manual and swordplay. Thanks to the past fifteen years of training, patient had become second nature for her.

    Choosing to ignore the man, Ling’er continued. “But if you disagree, junior will be pleased to learn a thing or two from the three of you.” She smiled as she bowed her head slightly and clasped her knuckle into her palm, although much to her unlinking. Unfortunately, in the martial world, it is a required courtesy used even with your enemy to show your acknowledgement if not respect.

    Although masked, Ling’er can read the expression of the three, surprised and confuse. It’s not everyday when a simple girl would just walk up to them, challenging them to a duel. Nor did they expect her do it in order to help the foe that their employer hire them to exterminate. Without having to ask, she already knew what they thought of her, simple and with little sign of martial art in her character. Her mother had trained the traditional ways of a Chinese woman ever since she can talk, whereas her father started her training in martial art before sending her off the Mount Hua once she started to be able to comprehend intelligent.

    Unfortunately, even with the two blends, Ling’er finds herself to be quite simple. She likes to think they way simple ladies of village thinks, although there are times when she must use her knowledge as a martial art disciple in order too complete tasks and missions that her teacher would send her out with her martial sisters once every few years. With her mother, who was raised with traditional values, and adding the fact that most of her life revolved around her sifu and her nun martial art sisters, becoming simple but elegant at the same time is also another nature to her. The only downside to it is that people tend to underestimate her and put their guard down, turning it into an unfair battle.

    Li Mu was the first one to react. He stepped forward and laughed mockingly at her. “Good! You’re such a brave girl, xiao gu niang,” he said, as his eyes scanned her from head to toe. “It’s not everyday that we get a challenge from a mere girl.” He lifts up his right knuckle and clasped it into his left palm. “Forgive me if I hurt you!” Even as he said that, he lifted up his blade and charged for her, sweeping his blade across her lower body. Unfortunately, Ling’er already leapt up before his blade even comes in contact with her. She somersaulted over him, land, and turned at the speed of lightning to point the tip of her sword at the edge of his throat the moment he turned to face her. He could’ve avoided it, but Ling’er knew that he is hard temper and act more impulsively than his other two comrades, giving her this advantage.

    Li Mu stood still, not moving a muscle, as he lifted his chin up to avoid the sharp tip of the blade.

    “You…”

    “You lost,” Ling’er finished his sentence for him. She smiled as she turned halfway looked to her side at the other two, her blade still at Li Mu’s neck, putting him at her mercy. “Do you want to challenge me?” she asked. When there was no answer, she added, “My name is Zhang Ling’er, Disciple of the Lotus Sect at Mount Hua. If you feel that today’s battle is unfair, you can go and ask for me there. Unfortunately right now, you three had lost. Therefore, I won the right to take General Miao with me.”

    She retracted her sword, give it a swirl, and sheathed it in less than a second before she completely turn to face the two brother. Clasping her knuckle into her palm and bows her head slightly. “Junior is sorry if she had offended any of you. But I have one more request; may I have the antidote to cure General Miao? You had lost to him already, and he could’ve have taken your life very easy if he hadn’t held back. I’m sure that all of you knew that. Therefore, think that giving him the antidote as a return for sparing your life.”

    “No!” Li Mu yelled behind her, now free from her blade, but is debating whether he wants to take her from behind. However, Ling’er isn’t afraid, for she is faster and can predict his moves very easily. “We cannot. What would people think of us if we lose to her?”

    “Li Mu,” the leader of them said sternly. He gave Ling’er a glance and before looking at Li Mu.
    “She’s right. We already lost. If we’re to continue and don’t admit defeat, we will lose any sense of dignity we have.” He turned to his other comrade. “Ah Fu, give her the antidote.”

    “Ah Fu! Don’t!” Li Mu called. Ah Fu looked at the leader, who nodded. “Give it to her. Ignore Li Mu.” And that was all it takes for him to walk over to Ling’er as he took the antidote out of his shirt and handed it to her. Ling’er took it, thanked him, and returned to the General’s side. After grabbing a hold of the General’s arm, she looked back at the three. “You three are not as bad junior expect you to be. I believe that if you change your ways and does good deed, people will only respect and live up to you.”

    “Xiao gu niang, are you alright?” the general asked once she was at his side. “General, we can go now,” she informed as helped him lead him in the opposite direction, to leave the scene of the battle. The smells of the corpses are already getting to her, and she doesn’t want to spend the rest of the festival among the dead.

    “Miss Zhao,” the leaders suddenly called her to a halt when she almost exited the scene, into the dark path among the trees. She stopped but didn’t turn to face the. Instead, she sighed and replied, “I believe that you are not bad and is only doing what commanded of you. But if you are truly a hero, please burry the remains of those you have slain by your blades and reconsider my words.” As she finished her sentence, Ling’er leapt up and disappeared into the dark forest in the night, with the General by her side.
    "The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation form the self." - Albert Einstein

    Currently Writing: The Legend of Zhang Ling'er - Ch.1 added

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    While I think it might be a good start, there are some things about the chapter than can easily be fixed. Basically the narrative switches between past and present tense. As a reader I found it too distracting and was unable to finish reading the whole chapter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Komillia View Post
    While I think it might be a good start, there are some things about the chapter than can easily be fixed. Basically the narrative switches between past and present tense. As a reader I found it too distracting and was unable to finish reading the whole chapter.
    OOPS! LOL. that's one thing i forgot to mention. I'm HORRIBLE with grammar. Period. I'm sorry about that.

    I'll make a note of that and try to improve it there. to think that i write alot, but still never cover the tense part right.
    "The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation form the self." - Albert Einstein

    Currently Writing: The Legend of Zhang Ling'er - Ch.1 added

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    HUMMMM..I think it was very very very interesting.. I could visualized the whole scene.. it looked like a real wuxia movie ..made me wonderwhat she was wearing.I imagaine it was white..hehe... I dont care much about grammars but. i enjoyed it and will be waiting for ch 2. Good Job!!

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    good start, xiaoquain14

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    Wow, it's been so long. Sorry about not updating. I've lost the harddrive with the docx containing all files of this story with it. The good news is that I still have the handwritten summary and the last part of the story on hand. The bad new is that it will take me a while to rewrite all that I've lost. So please bear with me as I try to put back bits of pieces of this story.
    "The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation form the self." - Albert Einstein

    Currently Writing: The Legend of Zhang Ling'er - Ch.1 added

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