Funniest Moment in Wuxia?

[Ren Wo Xing]

What is, to you, the funniest moment in all of Wuxia?

For me, one of the funniest moments is a moment in DGSD. This is at the big meeting at Shaolin, when all the secrets are let loose. The mother of Xu Zhu has been revealed to be

 click to show spoilers

Ye Erniang

but she remains totally unwilling to divulge who the father is. Xiao Yuanshan reveals that the father is actually present at this very moment, but the woman will not reveal him, saying that he was a good man, who came from an exalted position and was unable to marry her, but gave her lots of money for her to take care of herself. At this point, Ruan Xingzhu, one of Duan Zhengchun's lovers, says to him snidely, "It was you, wasn't it?"

Here's the really funny part. At this point in time, Duan Zhengchun thinks to himself, "Damn...was it me? Did I really bang her too? Do I have another kid I don't know about?"

Abso-frickin-lutely ridiculous and hilarious.

Share yours!

[sniffles]

I can't think of any I found absolutely hilarious, but there are quite a few that bring a smile to my face no matter how many times I read them.

Yang Guo making fun of Huo Du and tricking him into calling himself a bastard during the heroes' gathering at Da Xing Guan is one I enjoy. I also like it when he interrupts the contest to demand to know who was responsible for getting ink on his Gu Gu's white gown. The sheer audacity of that just really amuses me.

Other good moments are Linghu Chong masquerading as 'General Wu' while escorting the Heng-Shan nuns, and his "stabbing flies while sitting on the toilet" sword technique.

I think my very favorite humorous moment is from LOCH, though. When Guo Jing is in the cave with Zhou Botong on Peach Blossom Island, ZBT makes a remark about GJ still being a virgin and the text describes GJ looking down at his lap for an instant. That always gives me a good laugh. I was going to quote it but I can't locate the right page just now.

[Edit]: Drat, I just can't find it. Maybe it's just in the '03 tv series. But I could swear I read it in the book too.

[Ren Wo Xing]

LOL. Yes, the General Wu thing LHC did was ridiculously awesome.

[Ren Ying Ying]

Here's the really funny part. At this point in time, Duan Zhengchun thinks to himself, "Damn...was it me? Did I really bang her too? Do I have another kid I don't know about?"

Abso-frickin-lutely ridiculous and hilarious.

Share yours!

That was pretty funny. Everyone who knew Duan Zhengchun turned to look at him. And they didn't even doubt it.

[PJ]

I found myself smiling in a few scenes due to my WuxiaNerdism, but doubt anyone else shares my nerdy passion for them:

1. At Juxian Zhuang, Ah Zhu is telling a big lie about how Murong Fu injured her with Great Vajra Palm. To inflate Murong Fu's kung fu level, she said that he launched a big-*** air-splitting LDA from several tens of feet away. I just think it's pretty cool that of all the things she could have said to inflate his level, she chose LDA.

2. In the scene Ren Wo Xing described about Xuzhu's mother, I thought it was pretty funny that Xiao Yuanshan asked "do you want to see my face?" Then without waiting for her reply (she probably would have shrieked "No! Don't show me your face!"), he pulled his face cover anyway.

3. I thought it was funny that Wuyazi asked if Elder Kurong participated in his chess game. HELLO, you're looking for a handsome young man while Kurong is probably around your age and he's even more enlightened than you! Don't you think he has better things to do than ride 1000 miles to play a chess game?

4. After Wuyazi transferred all his internal energy to Xuzhu, he aged about 30 years instantaneously. When Xuzhu saw this, his first thought was he had been put to sleep for 30 - 50 years while the rest of the world got older.

[Cesare]

Not certain how funny it was meant to be, but I sure laughed like hell...
In The Sword And The Exquisiteness there is this rather hillarious moment when Yu Peiyu is affected by the strong aphrodisiac and he'll die if he doesn't have sex soon. The only female available is perfectly willing, but he's too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her... The whole situation is delightfully absurd. And the sudden appearance of Yu Peiyu's fiancée is the proverbial cherry on top.

[ChanceEncounter]

General Wu. That entire chapter was awesome and really made LHC my favorite character in JY.

And half of LuDingJi, because Wei Xiaobao is cool that way.

[lthlth]

I thought Zhou Botong making herbal antidotes with the dirt in his underarm was pretty funny, as portrayed in the 1982 or 1984 TVB series.

[yittz]

I think general Wu was my fav too. LHC had many funny moments interspersed by his woe is me, sister, sifu doesn't love me.

[pannonian]

I thought Zhou Botong making herbal antidotes with the dirt in his underarm was pretty funny, as portrayed in the 1982 or 1984 TVB series.

IIRC it's part of the text, not an adaptation invention, albeit related in ROCH rather than LOCH.

[Han Solo]

The young SPT always make me laugh.

[Extremer88]

That was pretty funny. Everyone who knew Duan Zhengchun turned to look at him. And they didn't even doubt it.

Yea, DZC sure was a lucky guy. He even had the luxury to doubt whether he was involved.

[sniffles]

I also like the scene in Flying Fox of Snowy Mountain where Hu Fei climbs into a bed to hide and discovers a paralyzed Miao Ruolan under the covers. He's terribly embarrassed and goes through all sorts of contortions to avoid inappropriately touching her, which is very funny since he's also trying not to be discovered by his enemies.

Another fun scene from XAJH is when LHC meets all the heterodox heroes at Wuba Hills and Lao Touzi and the others go through a lot of verbal contortions to explain why they aren't immediately following Yingying's orders to kill LHC on sight. It's pretty funny when Lao Touzi proclaims that he can't kill LHC because LHC's skills are too powerful for him, even though they've never exchanged a single blow.

[dewyloony123]

All those above were pretty funny. I've definitely got a soft spot for YG's beating of Huo Du.

But thanks to the people in this forum, I believe that Fast Saber Qi Liu's death is one of the funniest moments!

[PJ]

But thanks to the people in this forum, I believe that Fast Saber Qi Liu's death is one of the funniest moments!

Ah, how could I forget that!

[Patudo]

These sections from Xiake Xing are some of the funniest I've ever read, anywhere. I just think Jin Yong must have been developing the idea of a hero that confounds every convention in the wuxia genre - something which he carried on in The Deer and the Cauldron.

(I've used the translation from Abhay in the translations form, but taken the liberty of making a few edits)

Excerpt 1

Shi Potian stepped back a pace, waved his hand and said repeatedly: “No, no, I don’t want to fight with you.”

Chong Xu was just confunded by Shi Potian. He was a fellow-disciple of Shi Qing and Min Rou. If he backed down now then he would be the laughing stock of the martial-arts world. On the other hand, as a member of an elder generation, he couldn’t just force Shi Potian to fight.

When he saw Shi Potian trying to avoid a fight, it was exactly as he had hoped would happen, so he said: “Both of us are on the same side, and there is also no enmity between us. We are just comparing our skill in martial-arts.”

Shi Potian said: “You are a fellow-disciple of Master Shi and Madam Shi. If in the fight I kill you then it won’t be good.”

He was really feeling uncomfortable at this moment. He only feared that he might kill him with his poisonous palm and so spoke thoughtlessly.

All the Taoists of the Shan Qing Temple were extremely proud of their martial-arts. They thought that he was mocking all of them and that he indeed had ill intentions in his heart. More than ten Taoists moved forward towards Shi Potian in anger.

Shi Qing too shouted: “What did you say? Don't talk nonsense.”

Excerpt 2

Shi Qing said: “This child has no regards for elders and superiors. He shows reckless audacity and disrespect. Serves him right.”

He pointed to the three sword wounds on [Shi Potian's] body and said: “He's lucky that elder brother Chong has showed mercy and has not taken his life. This child’s martial-art skills are really shallow, how could have he defended himself against such an exponent as elder brother? Child, quickly kowtow to all the elders and ask for forgiveness.”

Chong Xu said loudly: “It's obvious that he despises us. Why would have he said that he can kill us to get rid of us?”

Shi Potian spreads out his palm and saw a faint red spot with a cloudy blue line still present there. He sighed and said: “This pair of hands will always cause trouble and will then kill people.”

The color of every Taoist changed as they heard these words from Shi Potian. Shi Qing listened to his wild and crazy attitude and thought that he was still threatening these people and in his heart he too felt great anger. He was unable to restrain himself and shouted: “You...kid who doesn’t know the immensity of heaven and earth. You threaten these elder fellow-apprentices, who have just shown mercy and have not killed you, don't you know?”

Shi Potian said: “I ......I ......I do not want to kill him, so I have also shown mercy.”


Excerpt 3

Shi Potian bent down to pick up the thin-bladed long sword. Suddenly a thought came to his mind: “I should fight really carefully, if I am not careful enough then this could turn out be a very difficult situation. If unconsciously my left hand moved and hits this person than surely he will die, so to avoid this I should tie my left hand with my waist. If it is tied then obviously I can’t strike him with my palm and won’t kill him.”

So he stood immediately and said to Chong Xu: “Sorry, I must ask you to wait for a little while.”

He untied his belt immediately, lowered his left hand and started to tie it up with his belt; various people were looking at him in surprise. No one knew what exactly he was trying to do. Shi Potian tightened the belt and knotted it firmly and then again bent down to take the thin-bladed sword and said: “Now it’s fine, let’s compare our skill, now you won’t get killed.”

Chon Xu went mad and nearly fainted as he heard this.

[AnhHung]

After Guo Xiang had her Little hero gathering, Guo Fu asked her how she know so many freaks. Guo Xiang reply that the only freak she knows is her brother in law. Guo Fu got angered and said that Yelut Qi is not a freak. Guo Xiang then replied: "Brother in law married big sister, then he must be a freak, or he will eventually become one"

[JamesG]

Zhou Botong creates lots of chuckles and there are times when he needs to be hugged. The problem is, if someone did hug him, he would probably blush and run away.
Yang Guo and Lu Wushuang’s first encounter was very funny and the ‘Sha Dan’ / ‘Wifey’ thing became their ‘in joke’ thereafter.

[Candide]

Zhang Wuji, after being seriously injured at the end of the Brightness Peak battle and having nearly zero inner power, made Song Qingshu slap his right cheek & lock his right shoulder's accupoint with his own left palm AND slap his left cheek & lock his left shoulder's accupoint with his own right palm simultaneously - as Song was trying to do exactly that to him. That's shortly after stealing Song's honey right in front of his nose.

I think that's the most impressive Pwnage of all. AAA+++ will ROFL again.

[ChanceEncounter]

Zhang Wuji, after being seriously injured at the end of the Brightness Peak battle and having nearly zero inner power, made Song Qingshu slap his right cheek & lock his right shoulder's accupoint with his own left palm AND slap his left cheek & lock his left shoulder's accupoint with his own right palm simultaneously - as Song was trying to do exactly that to him. That's shortly after stealing Song's honey right in front of his nose.

I think that's the most impressive Pwnage of all. AAA+++ will ROFL again.

Not really.

Song Qinshu, when left alone long enough, will pwn himself.