Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

[999roses]

Meh in the end, it really depends on the person and how you feel about them. If you really love them, yea maybe all of this wouldn't really matter so much.

But who knows if we will find someone we "love" that much? I don't believe that it's so practical to look for true love. If I'm going to eventually "settle" for someone I have good feelings as a potential husband but may not necessarily be in head over heels crazy in love with, I might as well try to find someone who doesn't have a shady past. And whatever, I'm sure 99% of the male population has cheated, been in adulterous relationships, broken laws....right.

Of course, I know it's unrealistic to control that. But hey if I can't have "love", then at least hopefully someone up there will take pity on me not to get a previous adulterous wife-beating scheming lying dude lol.

[Han Solo]

Dude, it feels so wrong for you to be suddenly channeling Billy J. Clinton on a thread on adultery

Yup, adapted that motto from the US Military stance for non-heterosexual members.



Han Solo

[pandamao]

That's pretty bitter.

i'm a pretty bitter person actually. I'm sure u guys have notice. It's hard not to be bitter when society has placed "failure" with marriage.

Reading about radken's story doesn't make me feel good either. based on what you guys wrote, i assume he's a good guy. if good guys can make such mistakes, then i honestly have no hope. good people make mistakes but i don't think i can handle being on the "husband's" side. it's best to not have high expectations on others.

[999roses]

Not cheating or being in adulterous relationship isn't a really high expectation....

Asking for a warm, gentle, kind, compassionate, friendly, handsome, rich, intelligent man....now that's a different story.

[Ren Wo Xing]

i'm a pretty bitter person actually. I'm sure u guys have notice. It's hard not to be bitter when society has placed "failure" with marriage.

Reading about radken's story doesn't make me feel good either. based on what you guys wrote, i assume he's a good guy. if good guys can make such mistakes, then i honestly have no hope. good people make mistakes but i don't think i can handle being on the "husband's" side. it's best to not have high expectations on others.

Anyone can make mistakes, yes; for example, towering historical figures like Thomas Jefferson slept with and owned slaves. But that doesn't mean everyone will make the same mistakes. A 'good guy' may be less susceptible to making mistakes, but that doesn't mean that they won't happen; in the same vein, just because 'good guys' are capable of making mistakes doesn't mean that all 'good guys' will. You're in a bit of logical fallacy here, sweetie.

[PJ]

Reading about radken's story doesn't make me feel good either. based on what you guys wrote, i assume he's a good guy. if good guys can make such mistakes, then i honestly have no hope. good people make mistakes but i don't think i can handle being on the "husband's" side. it's best to not have high expectations on others.

You said it yourself: even good people make mistakes. The important thing is whether they come out as a better person or not. That's why I want my partner to be someone who has experienced and suffered--but survived--mistakes and is now better/wiser/stronger because it taught him/her a lesson. Nevertheless, I cannot expect her to be entirely free of errors from now on, but when that happens I would like to be there for her and grow with her. To me, a true love is one which has withstood the test of time, gone through triumphs and survived faults. Both sides have to put in efforts to make it work.

[pandamao]

Not cheating or being in adulterous relationship isn't a really high expectation....

Asking for a warm, gentle, kind, compassionate, friendly, handsome, rich, intelligent man....now that's a different story.

Lol - although i agree, i still think it's hard to expect a guy to resist to such temptations. my god, a weak beautiful girl by his side.

Anyone can make mistakes, yes; even Thomas Jefferson slept with slaves. But that doesn't mean everyone will make the same mistakes.

.... i understand all this but having the faith is another thing. i don't want to come here 3 years later and post about how my husband is cheating on me.

[Candide]

i'm a pretty bitter person actually. I'm sure u guys have notice. It's hard not to be bitter when society has placed "failure" with marriage.

My god, that marriage clock is ticking loud! Life isn't about getting married, pandy.

Reading about radken's story doesn't make me feel good either. based on what you guys wrote, i assume he's a good guy. if good guys can make such mistakes, then i honestly have no hope. good people make mistakes but i don't think i can handle being on the "husband's" side. it's best to not have high expectations on others.

You may want to update your definitions of good guys and bad guys then.

[pandamao]

You said it yourself: even good people make mistakes. The important thing is whether they come out as a better person or not. That's why I want my partner to be someone who has experienced and suffered--but survived--mistakes and is now better/wiser/stronger because it taught him/her a lesson. Nevertheless, I cannot expect her to be entirely free of errors from now on, but when that happens I would like to be there for her and grow with her. To me, a true love is one which has withstood the test of time, gone through triumphs and survived faults. Both sides have to put in efforts to make it work.

but seriously - it's a constant battle of - "what did i do wrong to deserve this?" "will he do it again? he's not calling, is he seeing her? did she really leave him alone yet?"

i'm honestly scared to go through such. i don't think i have the strength to pull through.

this is a really bitter topic for me.

[Ren Wo Xing]

but seriously - it's a constant battle of - "what did i do wrong to deserve this?" "will he do it again? he's not calling, is he seeing her? did she really leave him alone yet?"

i'm honestly scared to go through such. i don't think i have the strength to pull through.

this is a really bitter topic for me.

"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy": Scrubs. Great show, lots of good points.

[pandamao]

My god, that marriage clock is ticking loud! Life isn't about getting married, pandy.



You may want to update your definitions of good guys and bad guys then.

aren't you cutting these guys too much slack?!?! '

I know life isn't about getting married hence i devoted my time to other priorities but every now and then this topic comes up so i respond to it.

[999roses]

Yea which is why it's a hell lot easier just to write those guys off. I'm not big enough of a person to think that he'll change for the better, etc. whatever. Now if I get unlucky and he lies, then I guess I am just a very sad and unlucky person.

And panda, if he can't resist a weak girl before, what makes you think he'll resist the weak beautiful girl in the future when you're old and aging?

[Ren Wo Xing]

aren't you cutting these guys too much slack?!?! '

I know life isn't about getting married hence i devoted my time to other priorities but every now and then this topic comes up so i respond to it.

I think you interpreted it the wrong way...here was an earlier post from the candyman:

Why the hell didn't you say that you porked this one earlier? Congratulation, you cuckolded another man who's done nothing to you, because you were thinking with your d!ck and bought some BS sob story of a cheating wh0re. There's nothing lower than this.

[PJ]

but seriously - it's a constant battle of - "what did i do wrong to deserve this?" "will he do it again? he's not calling, is he seeing her? did she really leave him alone yet?"

I wouldn't worry too much right now. Since you know what qualities you're looking for (and not looking for), you'll have a higher chance of finding the right match. You just have to meet the right one.

In my experience, the more physically attractive your partner, the more "jealousy or trust" problems you'll have (such as the stressful questions you wrote above). Also make sure he's not just attracted to you physically, because that doesn't last.

Another thing to watch out for is to not become too attached to your partner. You should want him but not need him. It becomes dangerous when you get too close.

i'm honestly scared to go through such. i don't think i have the strength to pull through.

this is a really bitter topic for me.

I can understand; these things can have lingering effects long after. However, all we can do is to learn from our experiences and prepare ourselves for the most exciting, multi-faceted world out there that is waiting for you to explore!

[PJ]

"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy"

So very true!

[pandamao]

I wouldn't worry too much right now. Since you know what qualities you're looking for (and not looking for), you'll have a higher chance of finding the right match. You just have to meet the right one.

In my experience, the more physically attractive your partner, the more "jealousy or trust" problems you'll have (such as the stressful questions you wrote above). Also make sure he's not just attracted to you physically, because that doesn't last.

Another thing to watch out for is to not become too attached to your partner. You should want him but not need him. It becomes dangerous when you get too close.



I can understand; these things can have lingering effects long after. However, all we can do is to learn from our experiences and prepare ourselves for the most exciting, multi-faceted world out there that is waiting for you to explore!

*tears* thanks!

so - talking does help. i can't say my family situation won't burden me in the future but i'm slowly getting relief. =)

bleh - never knew forums were such a great remedy.

[Ken Cheng]

"Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy"

Sometimes...lots of times, really, you can't get it even when it's HARD.

[Ren Wo Xing]

Sometimes...lots of times, really, you can't get it even when it's HARD.

You say 'even when it's hard' as though it's hardness should make it more likely to be gotten....

o.O

O.o

[Ken Cheng]

You say 'even when it's hard' as though it's hardness should make it more likely to be gotten....

o.O

O.o

That's the reverse implication of the statement, "nothing worth having comes easy."

[Ren Wo Xing]

Err, no, the inverse would be, 'everything which is worth having comes hard'.

Alternately, an illogical inverse would be, "everything which comes hard is worth having", but that's obviously not right either.