Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

[Ken Cheng]

Err, no, the reverse implication would be, 'that which comes hard is worth having'.

I take issue with this statement, actually.

Some things come hard and are also not worth having.

For example, it'd be pretty damn hard for me to drill a hole in my head; it's also extremely not worthwhile for me to drill a hole in my head.

On the other hand, I can have a nice, cold 7-Up pretty easily. Just walk over to the fridge and get one. And it's definitely worth having.

[jadebunny9]

How the heck this thread ballooned to 14 pages is simply beyond me. And here I am, trying to dig through any updates, but I think I'll just give up right here.

[Ren Wo Xing]

Yes, and aside from my edits to the original post which I made for greater clarity (and which you didn't notice?) that's because inverses of true statements aren't necessarily true, which is why I wasn't quite sure what the point was of your post arguing about an inverse of a statement I made, and an incorrect inverse at that...are you here just to be pointlessly argumentative?

[Candide]

Ken's getting all philosophical. He needs to get laid.

[PJ]

How the heck this thread ballooned to 14 pages is simply beyond me.

It's still only 1/2 the length of Ken's Tale of a Broken Heart. So it still has a long way to go.

And here I am, trying to dig through any updates, but I think I'll just give up right here.

Quick Summary: sex + time = baby.
Now they trying to figure out whose it is,
while the rest of us debate how Raddie should proceed.

[Han Solo]

Update for bunbun:

The girl is now preggy and Radken is thinking about what to do.

Han Solo

[PJ]

*tears* thanks!

so - talking does help. i can't say my family situation won't burden me in the future but i'm slowly getting relief. =)

bleh - never knew forums were such a great remedy.

You're most welcome & it is my pleasure.


(in honor of kittens)

[Ken Cheng]

are you here just to be pointlessly argumentative?

Yes. No. Maybe.

I might decide to start a thread about the relative merits of drilling a hole in one's head.

[Thor]

intimate usually means sex. i haven't dated a guy that's willing to cuddle up but not have sex eventually. it's like the foreplay that does nothing for a girl.

I can do that, wanna try.
just joking.

Maybe you are dating the wrong guys.

[Radken]

Fark man, you didn't even have the mind to wrap your tool when you're fooling around. Jesus Christ on a bike! *shakes head*

I was using protection. But sometimes I forgot to buy condoms and Jackie would tell me her body wasn't going to ovulate because she was having her period.

[Guo Xiang]

.... i understand all this but having the faith is another thing. i don't want to come here 3 years later and post about how my husband is cheating on me.

Pandy dear, you just have to have faith and be positive sometimes. Attitude can be a decisive factor in many matters, including marriage. Your lack of faith may drive a rift between you and your future husband, even if he's the best guy in the world.

[Han Solo]

Hey radken,

How long has the whole thing been since that night till you got told she was pregnant?

Han Solo

[Ren Wo Xing]

I was using protection. But sometimes I forgot to buy condoms and Jackie would tell me her body wasn't going to ovulate because she was having her period.

You had unprotected sex with a woman who was on her period? Dude...how, man? Just...how? Aside from the 'ick' factor of blood, STD's are most easily transmitted through that way...

Ack. Anyhow, it's possible to get pregnant through sex on a period, if the ovulation comes right after the period, since sperm can stay alive in the uterus for upwards of 4-5 days or so. Pretty uncommon, but not impossible...

[Radken]

Hey radken,

How long has the whole thing been since that night till you got told she was pregnant?

Han Solo

The last time we slept together was more than a week ago before she told me. But that wasn't the only time.

[Radken]

Wow. Sound like a movie. What a timely plot twist. Are you sure the baby is yours? It could be her husband's. I mean, it couldn't be such a coincidence. The moment you wanted to break up with her, she told you she's pregnant.

I pressed her about that and she admitted she didn't want me to know because I've been acting strange lately.

Obviously Radken is in a deep pile of poo right now. Should have used protection but too late for that. I would agree a (secret) paternity test needs to be done and then she has to choose either to leave the husband or to stop it with Radken. Keep the husband in the dark unless the kid is Radkens AND she decides to leave him. Nothing good will come of letting the hubby know unless he has to.

I thought about it but I didn't want to bring it up because I don't want to upset her at this time and I heard amino tests are not safe.

[Thor]

I have not seen a thread like this on Spcnet for a long time.
People are caring and really trying to help with advice. People were speaking from their hearts. People were talking about their personal experiences, something that they usually do not discuss with strangers.

All these discussions make me kind of sad. You people are talking so honestly. For when I read what were written by some of you, like tales of being abandon at childhood, betrayal, lies etc, I feel sadness.

I do not know why.
I think I am getting soft.

[Radken]

Yeah, I highly doubt the baby's yours. She probably sleeps around with other people.

I highly doubt it since her husband tries to keep her on a short leash but I can't change the way how you or anyone here should think of her.

So yeaa...well you know what, you're a man, and you made a mistake, and you gotta face the consequences. Tell her to tell her husband the truth if she doesn't want an abortion.

If it comes down to it I will but not now while Jackie is still with him. I'm afraid if he finds out and get angry he might hurt her.

Do you know the husband personally? Because I'm gonna say that's horrible if you do, regardless of what type of person he is.

I've only met him a few times but I wouldn't say I know him personally.

But anyway, since everyone is selfish, I'll say it. If you can get away with it, just tell her to get an abortion and get away from her. This is the selfish route and gets you out of the most sht.

She doesn't want to get an abortion and I'm not too sure about it either.

The only issue---how do you know she isn't going to bite you back in the ***? The thing about dramas is that they are based on real stories, just like we are shown here. And radken, unless his account taken by someone else, so far hasn't shown any troll tendencies, so I guess we're trying to help him.

So yeah, maybe some other day, she gets into an argument with her husband and all her secret doings with you blurts out. Or someone else besides you and her know.

Jackie is shy and mousy. As far as I know I'm the only person she has ever cheated with and she doesn't know alot of people.

Are you in the US? I'm not sure about adultery laws and whether you could get charged/fined/etc. Hmm...

As fvcked up as it sounds I have done research on this and no, California doesn't have any laws where a person can get sued for stealing a man's wife. However, it is possible elsewhere which means in some states, a wife is considered a "property" of the husband.

[kidd]

This burst of compassion is rather ironic coming from someone who strongly and heartlessly advocates killing and eating endangered species...

And strongly advocates '1 child policy' to be applied to India eventhough logic will tell us that it will lead to many abortion cases of female fetuses and an increase in female infanticide.

I highly doubt it since her husband tries to keep her on a short leash but I can't change the way how you or anyone here should think of her.

I'm sorry to say this. But, seeing how many times you two were able to have sex (refer to post #271), I don't think the leash was that short.

[Han Solo]

Radken,

I'll just repost my post on page 10.

Few things:-

1) Its pretty hard to do a parternity test at this early stage of pregnancy. Its what 8 weeks or so? Assuming that she misses her period.

An amniocentesis can be performed at ~ week 12-20 weeks for medical purposes, and dna samples can be gotten for partenity test but this test is highly invasive with a chance of causing an abortion about 5-10%, not counting bleeding issues etc.

Honestly, if the baby is yours, and you are subjecting your future partner to such a test - i just plainly don't think that it is a good start to a lasting relationship.

I'm not sure if there's any advances in recent years with blood tests that try to test for fetal tissues in the maternal blood, and whether dna identifications can be made using such tests. This, unfortunately, is a highly specialized genetics medicine area which i'm no expert of.

2) Finding out the dates is nuts too. You are relying on her to tell you the truth, and making a big assumption that no one else is copulating with her.

3) Its early days yet, but nearly 25% to 50% of pregnancies would end up in miscarriage.

So, in summary, tough nuts and tough situations to be in- no tests really for paternal identification that is safe until the baby is born.

At this stage, i think the decision making would depend on the following issues:-
1) Do you want to be with her and accept any responsibility?
2) Does she want to be with you and get a separation/divorce from the husband?
3) Does she want the baby?
4) Do you trust her enough to believe that the baby is yours, and raised it as your own?

The pregnancy is just complicating things but the underlying issue is the relationship issue.

Han Solo

[remember_Cedric]

Something random. This makes a really good quote, I feel:

 click to show spoilers

Congratulation, you cuckolded another man who's done nothing to you, because you were thinking with your d!ck and bought some BS sob story of a cheating wh0re. There's nothing lower than this.

Definitely deserve to be placed in the Hall of Fame in the House of Golden Quotes!

OT: Raddie, *shakes head* this is a foolish doing of Hump-hrey Dumbty. Let's pray that that child is not yours, and all you needed to do is be there for her as a friend.