Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

[xJadedx]

Of course - if everyone actually acted according to the ideals, we wouldn't have cheaters.

Though I'm sure that being a smart guy is a turn-on for many women (including the hot ones), even here. Of course, there is a huge difference between being smart and being a geek, nerd, pretentious intellectual, etc. Though slight geekiness in some areas can be cute (i.e. Star Wars).

[jiang bao]

Of course - if everyone actually acted according to the ideals, we wouldn't have cheaters.

Though I'm sure that being a smart guy is a turn-on for many women (including the hot ones), even here. Of course, there is a huge difference between being smart and being a geek, nerd, pretentious intellectual, etc. Though slight geekiness in some areas can be cute (i.e. Star Wars).

Translation for the guys: Physically attractive guys who are slightly geeky or smart are attractive or cute. Basically, good looking dudes who aren't obnoxious in some way are cute no matter what they do. If even they are obnoxious, many women will still find them cute or attractive.

PS, what I wrote above may read a little bit sarcastic, but it's not. Trying to interpret it for the guys who can't read between the lines. Don't wanna give the ugly guys any false hope.

[Trinie]

Nothing wrong with that....unless its like your friends' woman or man....I just think breaking up a marriage is bound to bring down bad karma upon the perpetrator....

That was what my cousin told me because I have liked guys with girlfriends before and was kind of sad when they found out that they did have a girlfriend. I also felt guilty as well, but my cousin said that I should not feel bad because those guys were not married yet so they still had a choice. But yea, with a marriage, it is a big no no and bad karma will be bought down to the perpetrator.

[Trinie]

What if that girlfriend/boyfriend like you back?

I really can't decide. If still not married, both still have a choice to choose another, find the most suitable one to marry. But, if it's a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend, that's a definite 'no'.

Hey, that sort of reminds me of Li Xun Huan and Lin Shi Yin's case. Long Xiao Yun went for his friend's girl, but then Li Xun Huan let him have her so is he wrong to do that???

[Trinie]

If that boyfriend/girlfriend (let's call him/her A for simplicity sake) liked the person (let's call this person B) back, then A should have the decency to break up the relationship he/she is currently in. Clearly, you can't be in a relationship with a person if you like someone else (i.e., B). But B shouldn't do anything to disrupt A's relationship.

As for whether it's a married couple of "just" boyfriend/girlfriend. It doesn't matter to me. You can keep searching for "the one" without having to cheat.

I think it would also depend on how serious the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is as well.. If they were really serious and were planning on getting married for example, then it would be really wrong to butt into their relationship. However, if they are not serious at all then they should just break up their current relationship and move on...

[xJadedx]

Translation for the guys: Physically attractive guys who are slightly geeky or smart are attractive or cute. Basically, good looking dudes who aren't obnoxious in some way are cute no matter what they do. If even they are obnoxious, many women will still find them cute or attractive.

PS, what I wrote above may read a little bit sarcastic, but it's not. Trying to interpret it for the guys who can't read between the lines. Don't wanna give the ugly guys any false hope.

Sort of. That's unfortunately how things are, if you are "ugly," it will be harder to get a girl than if you are average or attractive.

That said - it is still hard to determine how each person categorizes "ugly." Some men may not have the stereotypical good looks, but they have other qualities that will make them attractive to a woman. For example, I find Kyo of Dir en grey to be very attractive, even though physically he's short and average-looking at best (but he has very good charisma that makes up for that). Same with someone like Robert Downey Jr. - he looks weird, but I find him to be much more attractive than someone like George Clooney.

I think it would also depend on how serious the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is as well.. If they were really serious and were planning on getting married for example, then it would be really wrong to butt into their relationship. However, if they are not serious at all then they should just break up their current relationship and move on...

No matter what the level of the relationship, it it up to the couple in that relationship to decide if they want to end it or not. It should not be someone else interfering. That's just how I feel though.

Breaking up with someone and then dating another person is perfectly fine. But starting to see someone else while you are still in a relationship (i.e., cheating) is a big no-no to me.

[Trinie]

Sort of. That's unfortunately how things are, if you are "ugly," it will be harder to get a girl than if you are average or attractive.

That said - it is still hard to determine how each person categorizes "ugly." Some men may not have the stereotypical good looks, but they have other qualities that will make them attractive to a woman. For example, I find Kyo of Dir en grey to be very attractive, even though physically he's short and average-looking at best (but he has very good charisma that makes up for that). Same with someone like Robert Downey Jr. - he looks weird, but I find him to be much more attractive than someone like George Clooney.

No matter what the level of the relationship, it it up to the couple in that relationship to decide if they want to end it or not. It should not be someone else interfering. That's just how I feel though.

Breaking up with someone and then dating another person is perfectly fine. But starting to see someone else while you are still in a relationship (i.e., cheating) is a big no-no to me.

Beauty is the eye of the beholder and looks are subjective as well... I think it applies to women as well because I have seen some women who are not really physically attractive, but have charisma and other qualities that really attracts guys to them.

It is true that it is up to the couple in a relationship to determine whether they want to end it or not.At times one person wants to end it since they may have found someone more suitable, but yea it is true that another person should not interfere. I have seen 11 year relationships end just like that. Not just relationships, but marriages seem to even come and go just like that as well.

[jiang bao]

Sort of. That's unfortunately how things are, if you are "ugly," it will be harder to get a girl than if you are average or attractive.

That said - it is still hard to determine how each person categorizes "ugly." Some men may not have the stereotypical good looks, but they have other qualities that will make them attractive to a woman. For example, I find Kyo of Dir en grey to be very attractive, even though physically he's short and average-looking at best (but he has very good charisma that makes up for that). Same with someone like Robert Downey Jr. - he looks weird, but I find him to be much more attractive than someone like George Clooney.

No matter what the level of the relationship, it it up to the couple in that relationship to decide if they want to end it or not. It should not be someone else interfering. That's just how I feel though.

Breaking up with someone and then dating another person is perfectly fine. But starting to see someone else while you are still in a relationship (i.e., cheating) is a big no-no to me.

Actually, it's quite easy to categorize someone as ugly. Sure, there will almost be tweeners, the people that some people find to be good looking while others find to be ugly; but those people aren't truly ugly. There are people who'll call anyone ugly because they are just insane people. For example, my cousin says Leon Lai is ugly (even when he was young). Meanwhile, if Leon is ugly, then there's no word to describe her.

The truly ugly ones are the clearly unattractive ones that you know on first impression has trouble getting laid. There's no way someone who looks like Robert Downey Jr. would have trouble getting someone.

And even the ugly ones can get someone. I just don't want anyone to get disillusioned about actually being cute when he's butt ugly no matter what he does. Sure he can get hot women if he became filthy rich or famous somehow, but they sure ain't gonna be doing him cuz they find HIM cute.

There are some gullible guys out there who actually believe women when they say to those surveys that they list "funny" as the most desired characteristic... LOL What women mean is good looking and/or rich AND funny. Just being funny ain't gonna cut it. They just don't want to sound shallow.
---

PS, by "women," I mean those with options.

[kidd]

Same with someone like Robert Downey Jr. - he looks weird, but I find him to be much more attractive than someone like George Clooney.

Bad example. Robert Downey Jr. is no where near ugly and I bet people who find him weird looking is in the minority.

[xJadedx]

I guess RDJ is just a personal example - I found him to be really weird-looking until I started watching his movies. Then I saw how amazing an actor he was, and that made him much more attractive in my eyes.

Anyway, the "looks debate" gets brought up over and over again. It all comes down to the same thing: everyone (men or women) wants to have a partner who is attractive, if all else is equal. Given two potential partners with very similar traits, most people would pick the more attractive one (this is of course a hypothetical situation that assumes you like both candidates equally). Someone who is not as attractive will just need to have more redeeming characteristics to be on the same competitive level as a much more attractive person. It's not fair, but that's how it is. People prefer things (or people) that look attractive and beautiful for various reasons.

[Windhorse]

I found this thread while searching for lyrics in google and found the question and some of the answers interesting but not suprising. There are as many differnt opinions as there are people. To speak to the question of sleeping with anothers persons mate. The emotional attachment that develops in this situation is bad karma You will get dragged into a sticky mess. No orgasm is worth this much grief you are far to attached with your secret meetings late nite calls. If this was just a freinds with benefits relationship you might fair ok, with all this emotion you are already lost. Now you risk exposure if you break it off. Picture a rape kit with your DNA in it . And dont say you wore a condom every time and never left one in the trash. Dont get me wrong I dont disaprove of chasing a married women. Ive done it intentional for years. they make great girl freinds. they dont want to met your mom, redecorate your place, hang out with your friends and if you treat them right they are more loyal than a St Bernard. Guys dont be upset remeber You dont miss a slice from a cut loaf. If your not going to meet her needs someoe like me will. Turn this girl away from your bed send her home and tell her to face her life and fix her problems if she still wants to grace you with her presents in bed with out the emotional attachment fine. you cant be both unless she leaves him. And you dont know his side Good luck

[Xiaoou]

So, is there some update from the threadwriter? Is she really pregnant? etc.

[remember_Cedric]

I guess RDJ is just a personal example - I found him to be really weird-looking until I started watching his movies. Then I saw how amazing an actor he was, and that made him much more attractive in my eyes.

I would use charismatic to describe RDJ. My personal profiling of him: He is the seemly cocky type, bluntly honest and naturally rude kind of person which actually attracts people.

[xJadedx]

I would use charismatic to describe RDJ. My personal profiling of him: He is the seemly cocky type, bluntly honest and naturally rude kind of person which actually attracts people.

I agree, though that's still part of his personality, rather than his physical appearance. When I first saw him in movies, I was like, "This guy looks so weird, something about him is not symmetrical."

[remember_Cedric]

I agree, though that's still part of his personality, rather than his physical appearance. When I first saw him in movies, I was like, "This guy looks so weird, something about him is not symmetrical."

My bad. I went the other direction.

Hmmm, physically, RDJ has a pair of attractively beautiful eyes. I think it could be his mouth....his mouth is kinda too wide.

[Dennis Chen]

Would I be wrong if I "messed around" with your wife?

[Bangs]

I didn't read all the replies since its tons of pages long but here's my take on your story radken;

First of all, the answer you are looking for is inside you all along.

If you really believe that her husband is not the right man for her then by all means just take her away and have her leave him. If you can make her happy in the long run then why the fvck not?

But you have to understand that if you did that there will be a lot of consequences. You and her will probably lose friends and perhaps some family too. There's also an added bonus, you get to earn some enemies for life. Lastly, she is the highest risk of all. If by chance she is just using you, you'll lose everything in the end.

If you think she's worth all that then go for it, what matters most is what you want. It doesn't really matter what other people think about both you, its your lives and its your choice. A story has two sides and you might be blinded by her drama so be careful. If you chicken out, then GTFO of her life because your presence is not going to help both of you.

[timeless]

Fun question, if God is against adultery then why did he impregnate Mary with Jesus?

Iill-informed jest. There was no carnal act involved- the entry point and process had the Holy Spirit of God conceived himself as a human incarnate within mary's womb. With this kind of mess you are in, you 'll need all the kind of help you can get without getting yourself into some foolish blaspheming and risk distancing yourself from some gracious divine intervention. That said, i wish you well. You must try your best to do the right thing like how so many have advised you. Sin destroys.

[Trien Chieu]

Radken, do you have anything to update?
Did you have a patternity test?

[Lucre]

of course it's wrong to mess with somebody else's wife. what sort of question is that?