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Thread: Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    I can't just say lets break up.
    say "its not you, its me"
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  2. #62
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    It takes courage to say "Sorry, but this is not right. It is only rational toSTOP this! For your own good too."
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  3. #63
    atlantean0208
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    I'm going to have to end this eventually... fvck... I'm wondering how I'm gonna do it. I can't just say lets break up.
    Have a meeting in a pleasant surrounding and tell her that what you're both doing now is wrong, I meant secret meetings, messaging etc. Ask her to *go back* to her family and resolve her problem properly and tell her that you will be there always to give her support whatever happen, whenever she needs it as friends. However, never to advise her to get a divorce from her husband. That is just bad. You don't want to be the cause in those separation coz one way or the other it will *burn* you.

    Don't tell her, "I think we should be friends forever and please just forget me". She will think that you want to abandon her while she is in a *lurch* and things might get worst. That's just reckless action.

    After that you should just relax and let things be, sit and wait and do not contact her in anyway unless if she contact you, even then you should just listen and treat her just as friends and not as lover. And advice her to do the *right* things. If she is separated/divorce and she want you then you can take care of her. However if she resolve her problem and want to be with her family, then as a guy, you should know to back out. Never to contact her anymore in any way.

    my 2 cent.
    Last edited by atlantean0208; 01-30-09 at 11:12 AM.

  4. #64
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    ... okay. I'll try that first. Thanks.

  5. #65
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    ... okay. I'll try that first. Thanks.
    Hmmmm......... best of luck. Remember to pray wholeheartedly for the words of wisdom ...... before trashing things out with her.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  6. #66
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Tell her you have a crush on her best friend / sister / favourite cousin and ask her to hook you up. Two birds, one stone.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Tell her you have a crush on her best friend / sister / favourite cousin and ask her to hook you up. Two birds, one stone.
    best advice I've heard this whole thread, couldn't have thought of it myself.

  8. #68
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    best advice I've heard this whole thread, couldn't have thought of it myself.
    I don't think so.

    On the contrary, upon learning that, she may go kill that best friend / sister / favourite cousin of hers....whoever Raddie supposedly have his eyes on. She'll then bring her head to him, only the head. You know how people can run amok for the crazy thing called Love.
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 01-30-09 at 06:58 AM.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    I don't think so.

    On the contrary, upon learning that, she may go kill that best friend / sister / favourite cousin of hers....whoever Raddie supposedly have his eyes on. She'll then bring her head to him, only the head. You know how people can run amok for the crazy thing called Love.
    If that is the case, then Raddie should tell her that he has a crush on his worst enemy. That way, he can eliminate his enemy without lifting his finger.

  10. #70
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    We have already reached the point where we can't go back and be friends anymore. When we first met I was infatuated with her for six months. But eventually those feelings subsided because nothing happened. We would only say hi and good-bye to each other and never talk about anything except for stuff on the surface level. Sometimes it felt like I scared her or she was just tolerating my existence because we were lab partners. Then one day something happened. We started chatting with each other more, privy to each other's personal information, even flirting. We became each other's best friends. Eventually I asked her why she was acting so cold and distant to me in the beginning. She told me it was because she was married (I wasn't aware at the time because there's no ring on her finger) and her husband does not like it when she talks to other men. One time all her and her husband's friends were invited to celebrate her husband business venture into computer network services. When I arrived we couldn't keep our eyes off of each other. And when we talked you can tell we enjoyed each other's company. Some of the guests were even teasing if we were brother and sister.

    I've waited so long and putted so much effort into trying to make this work and everyone here just wants me to move on. I'm not entirely sure she's using me but I guess I wouldn't know till I ride it out to the end. Maybe she just wants to be emotionally satisfied. And no, I'm not gonna sleep with other women to find if I truly in love. I'm not morally ambiguous to the contrary.

    Fun question, if God is against adultery then why did he impregnate Mary with Jesus?
    Lame attempt at ART.

    Mary is not someone's wife. She's a virgin.

    Honestly. You don't sound like you want advice. You just want to hear someone tell you 'It's alright to be with this woman' to ease your conscience.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  11. #71
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Lame attempt at ART.

    Mary is not someone's wife. She's a virgin.

    Honestly. You don't sound like you want advice. You just want to hear someone tell you 'It's alright to be with this woman' to ease your conscience.
    I already said I was conflicted and realized I was wrong for wanting so.

    However, at the same time I was also curious about everyone's view on adultery or experience on the subject if any. Is it entirely black and white or grey? Maybe I shouldn't have tried to make that part of the thread because I would had like to defend that it's grey and that would've made me sound unrepentant especially where I'm coming from. But I know there is no loophole and you guys are right.

    Everyone gave me some really good advice especially atlantean, Candide, and cedric. I'm grateful for the help.

  12. #72
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    I already said I was conflicted and realized I was wrong for wanting so.

    However, at the same time I was also curious about everyone's view on adultery or experience on the subject if any. Is it entirely black and white or grey? Maybe I shouldn't have tried to make that part of the thread because I would had like to defend that it's grey and that would've made me sound unrepentant especially where I'm coming from. But I know there is no loophole and you guys are right.

    Everyone gave me some really good advice especially atlantean, Candide, and cedric. I'm grateful for the help.
    I can understand how some people can be driven into an emotional mess and make decisions that leads to mistakes. Brace yourself, my friend.

    I had wanted to post that moment of hell in here too, to ask for opinions. But it'd be so longstory and it's like stock & shares, there are changes with some different sh1t comes along. I thought I'll be the best person to deal with it myself, plus I'm lazy to post such a longwinded thread.

    Now, you're like saying we're the Good, Bad, and the ____? Keep those spirits up, and becareful of those fragile feelings
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  13. #73
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    absolutely no respect for people who aren't faithful and intervene into other people's marriage, making radken not on my favorite list. i came from a broken family because some guy couldn't keep his dick to himself and some woman who wouldn't shut her doors.

    i don't care if she's married with grown up children or no children, doesn't make it right.

    my problem is - if you know it's wrong, why do it? are there not enough women out there? someone already marked his territory and if they are still together then you should move on. i don't care if they have a problem or she doesn't love him or whatever excuse you can come up with - it's wrong.

    when she's single, you hump as you wish.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  14. #74
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Panda, as a bystander of my last incident, I realised that it is something beyond 'know' and 'doesn't know'. Yes, it's the psychology effect that has blinded the persons involved. It comes even more difficult when te persons involved are stubborn and refused to listen. Be glad, Radken is willing to heed our advices and turn back.

    When the persons involved are blinded by those psychological and emotional effect, they need help from bystanders, the sober minds.

    I'm sorry to hear about your part. Chin up!
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  15. #75
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    The answer to this question is 'yes'. Might I also add a 'Duh'?
    Read the latest chapters of Coiling Dragon at Wuxia World!

  16. #76
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    The answer to this question is 'yes'. Might I also add a 'Duh'?
    LOL *sigh*

    Yam Dai Hup, it's often easier to mock at others, isn't it?

    That trend, isn't nearly funny. Show some support, can't we?
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  17. #77
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    absolutely no respect for people who aren't faithful and intervene into other people's marriage, making radken not on my favorite list. i came from a broken family because some guy couldn't keep his dick to himself and some woman who wouldn't shut her doors.
    haha, how funny. you took the exact words out of my head just now. i recently learned something so i'm facing a dilemma right now.. so disappointing; the trust i had in that person! no, someone didn't cheat on me more like a close friend of mine did and he hid it from me after all those times i've stuck up for his ***. so ****ed up... and that lil **** he cheated with.. ****ing ugly homewrecker. sigh!
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  18. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    absolutely no respect for people who aren't faithful and intervene into other people's marriage, making radken not on my favorite list. i came from a broken family because some guy couldn't keep his dick to himself and some woman who wouldn't shut her doors.

    i don't care if she's married with grown up children or no children, doesn't make it right.

    my problem is - if you know it's wrong, why do it? are there not enough women out there? someone already marked his territory and if they are still together then you should move on. i don't care if they have a problem or she doesn't love him or whatever excuse you can come up with - it's wrong.

    when she's single, you hump as you wish.
    Couldn't better worded.
    Right on pandamao.

  19. #79
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    .................
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  20. #80
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    I don't think so.

    On the contrary, upon learning that, she may go kill that best friend / sister / favourite cousin of hers....whoever Raddie supposedly have his eyes on. She'll then bring her head to him, only the head. You know how people can run amok for the crazy thing called Love.
    Don't worry, she doesn't love him. He's just a convenient shoulder to cry on for the time being. The only problem is that it (what I told him to do) will likely be a huge blow to her ego that she might b!tch-slap him & tell him to fvck off - but that's exactly what both of them need right now.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

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