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Thread: Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

  1. #81
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    LOL *sigh*

    Yam Dai Hup, it's often easier to mock at others, isn't it?

    That trend, isn't nearly funny. Show some support, can't we?
    I was being serious, not mocking. The answer is 'yes', and I still say that a 'duh' should be added. This is something you shouldn't really even have to think about, much less put up to debate.
    Read the latest chapters of Coiling Dragon at Wuxia World!

  2. #82
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    absolutely no respect for people who aren't faithful and intervene into other people's marriage, making radken not on my favorite list. i came from a broken family because some guy couldn't keep his dick to himself and some woman who wouldn't shut her doors.

    i don't care if she's married with grown up children or no children, doesn't make it right.

    my problem is - if you know it's wrong, why do it? are there not enough women out there? someone already marked his territory and if they are still together then you should move on. i don't care if they have a problem or she doesn't love him or whatever excuse you can come up with - it's wrong.

    when she's single, you hump as you wish.
    Very well said and sorry about your sad incident. I personally don't like it when people are unfaithful too. I have never been in a relationship nor am I married, but I have seen the pain that others go through due to third parties. It is even more painful when there are innocent kids involved as well...

    There are plenty of men/women in this world. Why do people always loathe or chase after someone that is taken or someone that is out of their league?? My mom never understands that when we watch series which has those kinds of situations. But the main point is, who wants to be Chen Shi Mei???
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  3. #83
    atlantean0208
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    Can we all just let it go and be easy on the guy. He already admit his mistake and agreed and will try to make it right. Anyway that guy is our friends, don't make things harder for him by condemning him again and again.

    Imagine if we're in his shoes. Anyway we doesn't really know the full story. We all just make assumptions.

    Love is something you cannot control, it might happen to you, someone randomly steal your heart. When you know it, prolly someone which is older, someone's wife, someone's husband, someone's girlfriend, someone's boyfriend etc.

    What you can do is to try control your action and try harder to make sound judgment and rational action. Follow your brain instead of your heart and not become impulsive. Anyway, it's easier to say it than actually doing it.

    my 2 cent
    Last edited by atlantean0208; 01-31-09 at 12:24 AM.

  4. #84
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post

    There are plenty of men/women in this world. Why do people always loathe or chase after someone that is taken or someone that is out of their league??
    Desire isn't governed by logic. People want what they want...need there be an actual reason?

  5. #85
    atlantean0208
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Batman View Post
    Desire isn't governed by logic. People want what they want...need there be an actual reason?
    QFT - hahaha

    "Love Make People Do Crazy Things & Clouded Their Judgement"


    and as I said - the only things to do - control your feelings, follow your brain instead of your heart. Easier said than done. Coz most of the time I do the other way around, yeah, I know, love make you stupid and lower your IQ

  6. #86
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Batman View Post
    Desire isn't governed by logic. People want what they want...need there be an actual reason?
    yes and that is the sad truth of life.

    we are surrounded by selfish people that disregard others happiness.

    To atlanta--- (forgot s/n): No, I refuse to be nicer about this topic, could be my bias heart or it could be my mean nature. I just find him very rude. I pray the husband isn't the best person in the world because he'll go through years questioning what he did wrong and never ever trust another person again.

    why don't you stand on the husband's side instead?
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  7. #87
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded WenEr View Post
    If her marriage is that terrible - give her advice on how to fix it and make it better, or advice her to leave him. Don't get between someone's marriage, because you never know the exact details, and even though you're trying to help, you may make things worse, and in the end, hurt many more people than intended.

    If you really care about her - then wait until she leaves her husband and then get involved.
    I missed this post.

    Raddie may want to consider this too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    I was being serious, not mocking. The answer is 'yes', and I still say that a 'duh' should be added. This is something you shouldn't really even have to think about, much less put up to debate.
    You missed this post by the original poster

    click to show/hide spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    Sorry about some of the things I said. Debating has never been one of my strong suits. In retrospect I should've asked everyone if they themselves think adultery is wrong rather than "what would you do in my situation." Also, sometimes I like to be tongue in cheek so I add in non sequitur questions like the one about God earlier. I couldn't care any less about that so I hope no one took me seriously or got too offended. I wasn't too sure what I wanted to do before. I was conflicted. On one hand it's wrong to commit adultery, on another I really don't want to let her go. My mentality was, although I shouldn't impede on another man's happiness I don't see why his would be more important than my own. But I gotta face the inevitable, this is not gonna work. She's such an innocent girl. I don't want her to look back and regret about what she did. I'm going to have to end this eventually... fvck... I'm wondering how I'm gonna do it. I can't just say lets break up.


    Maybe this should be posted in Academia.

    Not sure whoever can think straight in an emotional conflict. Try getting yourself in one if you have yet to. Or, any experiences of your own to share?

    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    Don't worry, she doesn't love him. He's just a convenient shoulder to cry on for the time being. The only problem is that it (what I told him to do) will likely be a huge blow to her ego that she might b!tch-slap him & tell him to fvck off - but that's exactly what both of them need right now.
    Hmm, ok. if she'll only b1tch-slap and tell him to fcuk off, I think that's less worrying.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Batman View Post
    Desire isn't governed by logic. People want what they want...need there be an actual reason?
    Like Simon Cowell would say "3 Yeses!!" I had been trying to put that across in my posts.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  8. #88
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    No, I refuse to be nicer about this topic, could be my bias heart or it could be my mean nature.
    Hmmm, i don't see you're thinking any straight either.

    Keep an open heart.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  9. #89
    atlantean0208
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    why don't you stand on the husband's side instead?
    I already do that ms. panda LOL , read the thread from the start, instead I posted a very harsh and rude comment. Here it is I quoted my own post

    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208 View Post
    It depends on the perspective. If it's your wife that being screwed then it's wrong coz you're not going to like it. Otherwise if you're the one who do the screwing - LOL - it's indeed not a wrong action coz you're not going to do it if you think there is something wrong with it.
    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208 View Post
    That is actually normal, I mean doing bad things is actually feel good and addictive, compare to doing volunteer job etc.

    Just beware that probably the woman just want to use you in time of her crisis. When she do resolve her problems she will leave you and not asking you to contact her anymore. At that time, maybe because you're too far away in *the game *, please do not be a guy version of Fatal Attraction.
    Anyway after I think about it, we should play nice and give *diplomacy advise* instead
    Last edited by atlantean0208; 01-31-09 at 12:45 AM.

  10. #90
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    Hmmm, i don't see you're thinking any straight either.

    Keep an open heart.
    How am I not straight? I don't believe in encouraging people who obviously know there's no yes to "messing with another man's wife."

    If it's abortion, okay - truly two sides of the story. Hello, this has no other side than - unethical. He even knew it was wrong and continued to do it. What did you expect, sympathy points because I've read Radken's post for the past few years? No, I'm sorry. Give it to him hard now before he considers doing this again in the future where kids might be involved.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  11. #91
    Senior Member 999roses's Avatar
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    Yes, but people better realize by this point in their life that they can't have everything they want, and if they go for it anyway, there will be consequences and they will have to deal with those.

    Just like right now. I should've not kept sleeping after I woke up at 7 p.m. but I thought--meh, I like this feeling of sleeping, it is nice, so I'm just going back to sleep even though it's messing up my schedule and if I was home, my mom would've forced me to wake up (because really it's for my own good). But nope, I'm so sleepy and it's so nice, so screw it, what the hell. Whoops, I wake up at 11 p.m. without having cooked/eaten dinner. And what am I doing now? Sure, that bit of sleep was nice and it felt so good to give into my destires then. But i have to live up to the consequences of bowl noodles and feeling queasy now and getting insomnia and feeling lousy tomorrow morning.

    So just because we can't sometimes CONTROL how we feel, i.e. sleepy and wanting to sleep an entire evening away, we CAN control what we decide to do about it by judging the CONSEQUENCES that are to follow if we give in to our desires.

    And just for the record, that girl is even worse than Radken. But I guess that's kinda obvious. What a blah.

    I don't necessarily think she needs to stay in her marriage, but extra-marital affairs are a big no-no.
    Last edited by 999roses; 01-31-09 at 12:58 AM.

  12. #92
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    How am I not straight? I don't believe in encouraging people who obviously know there's no yes to "messing with another man's wife."

    If it's abortion, okay - truly two sides of the story. Hello, this has no other side than - unethical. He even knew it was wrong and continued to do it. Give it to him hard now before he considers doing this again in the future where kids might be involved.
    Because, your hatred on him was linked with a previous similar incident of your own. It becomes a somewhat personal hate-post.

    He was blinded by emotions, you appear to me as blinded by hatred from past bad experiences.

    Hmmm ok Raddie......abortion....... Raddie going for abortion?? WHAT??

    I had already given my points. I gave him a caning followby a candy cane.

    What did you expect, sympathy points because I've read Radken's post for the past few years? No, I'm sorry.
    *sigh* You know what? Let share this: Someone I've respected very much, who always talk to me like a wise senior, an older brother who is a family person and speaks so much of what takes to uphold morality, the right and wrongs......had now become the lead of his own stories. A "villain" who lets his wife down, shamelessly having improper association with his maid, finding all excuses in defence of his immoral desires and following the trend of immorality. It's all opposite of whom i know before. The reason being? Inferiority complex. He was defeated by the reason that his wife is doing better than him. His ego, can't take it.

    So as i said, less hope, less disappointment. Very sad.
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 01-31-09 at 01:46 AM.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  13. #93
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    See, this is why male friends (of a woman) aren't real friends. They're just covertly offering d!cks and patiently waiting for opportunities to strike. Vice versa, the woman isn't real friends with those dudes either. She's keeping them in her harem as emotion tampons or d!cks in glass (aka emergency human dildos) when her main guy isn't doing the biz properly.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  14. #94
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    See, this is why male friends (of a woman) aren't real friends. They're just covertly offering d!cks and patiently waiting for opportunities to strike. Vice versa, the woman isn't real friends with those dudes either. She's keeping them in her harem as emotion tampons or d!cks in glass (aka emergency human dildos) when her main guy isn't doing the biz properly.
    Not really. (Un)fortunately, there are 3 species existing in our current world. M, F and H.

    Alas! Guy and guy, can get into trouble too! BIG trouble!
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 01-31-09 at 02:00 AM.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  15. #95
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    yes and that is the sad truth of life.

    we are surrounded by selfish people that disregard others happiness.

    To atlanta--- (forgot s/n): No, I refuse to be nicer about this topic, could be my bias heart or it could be my mean nature. I just find him very rude. I pray the husband isn't the best person in the world because he'll go through years questioning what he did wrong and never ever trust another person again.

    why don't you stand on the husband's side instead?
    I know that we should not condemn and judge people when we don't know the whole story. However, I just think that it is morally wrong to go after someone that is married. Honestly, I admit that this has never happened to me and I would not allow it to happen to me either. IF I did like someone, I first of all make sure that they are single. If they aren't then I just forget it and move on before I dig deeper and hurt myself and others. I always tell myself that there will be someone else... It is not the end of the world if someone you had feelings for was taken. There are many other people in this world.....

    Totally agree with you Pandamao, we should also look at the husband's side. What if we were in his position? What would we do?? I think it is fair to look at all sides and be considerate to EVERYONE's feelings, not just our own....

    Also, you must realize that you cannot get EVERYTHING that you want in life and things cannot ALWAYS be the way that you want. That is a fact of life....
    Last edited by Trinie; 01-31-09 at 02:14 AM.
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  16. #96
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208 View Post
    Can we all just let it go and be easy on the guy. He already admit his mistake and agreed and will try to make it right. Anyway that guy is our friends, don't make things harder for him by condemning him again and again.

    Imagine if we're in his shoes. Anyway we doesn't really know the full story. We all just make assumptions.

    Love is something you cannot control, it might happen to you, someone randomly steal your heart. When you know it, prolly someone which is older, someone's wife, someone's husband, someone's girlfriend, someone's boyfriend etc.

    What you can do is to try control your action and try harder to make sound judgment and rational action. Follow your brain instead of your heart and not become impulsive. Anyway, it's easier to say it than actually doing it.

    my 2 cent
    Sorry to sound harsh or anything, but I just don't want Radken to fall into a trap or do something that he will regret. It is true that there are times that you cannot control love, but I think there are times that you can if you allow yourself to. I mean, I have shared the story of my older brother. Now, he was TRULY in love... Radken's case is more of infatuation from what I see. I don't think it is love. Even if it was, he can get over it... My brother did and is now happy.... he went through a lot to get his happiness. If he can do it, I believe that anyone can....
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  17. #97
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    You missed this post by the original poster


    Maybe this should be posted in Academia.

    Not sure whoever can think straight in an emotional conflict. Try getting yourself in one if you have yet to. Or, any experiences of your own to share?
    Isn't the whole point of asking us our opinion being that we can see things straight, since it's not our emotional conflict?

    Sooooo....my answer is, 'Yes. Duh.'

    If she divorces her husband, she's on the market and he can mess with her then. If she doesn't want to divorce him then wtf are you doing getting involved? Very open and shut.
    Read the latest chapters of Coiling Dragon at Wuxia World!

  18. #98
    Senior Member 999roses's Avatar
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    Ceddie, inferior complex doesn't make what he did any better.

    Is there much to debate about here? The thing is, unless you're in that situation, it's easy for us to ride our high horses and condemn him I suppose.

    I certainly hope I will never be in ANY position to disregard my morals like that, but the truth is, who really really knows in life.

    But regardless of whether you do it or not, there's consequences to be paid.

  19. #99
    atlantean0208
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    To lighten the atmosphere LOL - some related movies to watch

    - Nights in Rodanthe
    - The Painted Veil
    - The Bridges of Madison County

  20. #100
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    Isn't the whole point of asking us our opinion being that we can see things straight, since it's not our emotional conflict?

    Sooooo....my answer is, 'Yes. Duh.'

    If she divorces her husband, she's on the market and he can mess with her then. If she doesn't want to divorce him then wtf are you doing getting involved? Very open and shut.
    *sigh* LMAO *sigh*

    I don't read the text from every poster. I read the poster's approach, and how "polite" they approach a supposedly friend when he is the emotional "victim" but the supposedly villain in everybody's eyes.

    If there was no debate, no pros & cons to talk about......hmmm, how did this topic come to 5 pages? Hmm?

    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    Ceddie, inferior complex doesn't make what he did any better.

    Is there much to debate about here? The thing is, unless you're in that situation, it's easy for us to ride our high horses and condemn him I suppose.

    I certainly hope I will never be in ANY position to disregard my morals like that, but the truth is, who really really knows in life.

    But regardless of whether you do it or not, there's consequences to be paid.
    Roses, you know, in my incident, I tried to see two sides of the coin so that my words will put sense into him. To approach a person who is out of his track, we need to be placed in their shoes momentarily. Condemning them, will only drift them further. Then again, some people are willing to turn back when we knock harsh blows onto them. It's up to the individual.

    Long before, he once told me this "There's no grey in this world, only black & white. Grey is in people's mind.". Then, when he was out of track, I reminded him of what he told me and throw questions into his face. His response is "There's too many grey".

    Sometimes, we don't want to be in that kind of position. But we'll never know. Immorality is wrong, but 'we'll be in that track in a way or another.
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 01-31-09 at 03:28 AM.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

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