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Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife? - Page 7
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Thread: Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

  1. #121
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    And how exactly do you know what the "right" thing is all the time? Because there is always one perfect solution to everything?

    Just because it is your opinion doesn't mean it's the best solution for the friend at the time.
    Certain things have no gray area while others do. The ones that do, I expect them to be carried out. I'm old enough to determine which scenarios are well defined and which aren't. There's no point in trying to throw an exception around.

    When my opinion is consider right and they decide to do the opposite then I can't be friends with them, as simple as that. My life isn't about being friends with everyone. I'm perfectly okay burning bridges with people I deemed as unethical.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  2. #122
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    When my opinion is consider right and they decide to do the opposite then I can't be friends with them, as simple as that. My life isn't about being friends with everyone. I'm perfectly okay burning bridges with people I deemed as unethical.
    Sorry, if my memory serves me, you're the kid who is still schooling right? Taking law?

    Well, networking is the most important part of life. Ethical or not, they're the people who make up this world, especially for the legal service....these morons give us work. I'm not asking you to be friends with these smugs, but you may want to open up and understand that burning bridges is a definite no-no, especially for businesses.

    I'm not trying to convince you of anything because I trust that you have your principles and it's admirable. Just remember that we can't change the world to fit us. (not sure if this is applicable for you)
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  3. #123
    Senior Member 999roses's Avatar
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    It's not about being old enough or not. It's not even about having a right set of morals.

    I'm not sure if you're purely talking about PERSONAL definitions, but the way you wrote it made it seem like if you think something is "right", then everyone else should think so too.

    It's not even about the exception, but rather the fact that rarely there is something that is always "right". Even though people adhere by laws (which citizens all have to accept as "right"), but that doesn't mean that everyone has to agree with it on a personal level.

    How you choose to define your friends and their actions is certainly up to you, but I just find it very interesting because I would not try to make everyone live by MY definitions. Everyone has different backgrounds and goals in life, and what I think may be a right decision may not be "right" for them.

    Even in Radken's situation, maybe if he's one of those "I don't care about the consequences, I will do anything for love and so be it" type of guys. Then maybe not going after this woman will cause him a lifetime of regret, who knows. Doesn't make it anymore ethically sound, but maybe on his personal level, it was a better decision and he was willing to bear consequences and disregarding societally appropriate ethics against invading someone's marriage.

  4. #124
    Senior Member 999roses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    Sorry, if my memory serves me, you're the kid who is still schooling right? Taking law?

    Well, networking is the most important part of life. Ethical or not, they're the people who make up this world, especially for the legal service....these morons give us work. I'm not asking you to be friends with these smugs, but you may want to open up and understand that burning bridges is a definite no-no, especially for businesses.

    I'm not trying to convince you of anything because I trust that you have your principles and it's admirable. Just remember that we can't change the world to fit us. (not sure if this is applicable for you)
    Yeah reality isn't pretty. Maybe some people are exceptionally lucky and can find tons of people who match perfectly with their own standards, personality, etc.
    And honestly who wouldn't like to have that type of attitude---the whole, I make up the rules, you better follow it, or hasta la vista. But I find that if I keep nitpicking at all my friends...well, eventually there will be very few left. No one is perfect, myself included, and part of making a friendship work is recognizing and accepting faults.

  5. #125
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    pandamao's words is pretty harsh but I agree with him. There is no gray area in "messing with another man's wife". It's wrong, period. In these days, everyone should be free to do whatever that make his/her life better but not at the expense of other people or society.

  6. #126
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    Sorry, if my memory serves me, you're the kid who is still schooling right? Taking law?

    Well, networking is the most important part of life. Ethical or not, they're the people who make up this world, especially for the legal service....these morons give us work. I'm not asking you to be friends with these smugs, but you may want to open up and understand that burning bridges is a definite no-no, especially for businesses.

    I'm not trying to convince you of anything because I trust that you have your principles and it's admirable. Just remember that we can't change the world to fit us. (not sure if this is applicable for you)
    Actually - I've been working in the corporate world. Co-workers and friends are two separate sets of individuals and they shall remain separate, if you are smart enough. With co-workers it's strictly work and my ultimate obligation is - do what is best for the company in the long run. I have yet to see any sort of deviation. Since these co-workers/networks are not consider friends, there's no reason to have them adhere to my ethical values.

    Still believe bridges should be burn with unethical folks. "Paper cannot cover fire" - one day it will be unravel. When the day comes, I am at the better end because I'm not associated with them.

    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    It's not about being old enough or not. It's not even about having a right set of morals.

    I'm not sure if you're purely talking about PERSONAL definitions, but the way you wrote it made it seem like if you think something is "right", then everyone else should think so too.

    It's not even about the exception, but rather the fact that rarely there is something that is always "right". Even though people adhere by laws (which citizens all have to accept as "right"), but that doesn't mean that everyone has to agree with it on a personal level.

    How you choose to define your friends and their actions is certainly up to you, but I just find it very interesting because I would not try to make everyone live by MY definitions. Everyone has different backgrounds and goals in life, and what I think may be a right decision may not be "right" for them.

    Even in Radken's situation, maybe if he's one of those "I don't care about the consequences, I will do anything for love and so be it" type of guys. Then maybe not going after this woman will cause him a lifetime of regret, who knows. Doesn't make it anymore ethically sound, but maybe on his personal level, it was a better decision and he was willing to bear consequences and disregarding societally appropriate ethics against invading someone's marriage.
    I'm not making the world place me on some high pedestal and have everyone conform to me. This is strictly saying, "The world is scary, to be safe I shall pick and choose the best of the crop." You may think I'm arrogant, but as a friend - I have a lot to offer and there's no reason to expect any less. If my expectations decreases my circle of friends then so be it. It's truly quality over quantity.

    The difference between you and me is: I don't see as much gray area as you. I don't have a problem withdrawing my emotional side when finding resolutions. It's wrong, it's wrong. A murderer is wrong no matter what side you look at. I don't care if it's to seek revenge, it's wrong. Same with many situations in life. Betrayal is wrong no matter what the reason behind it is. People find reasons to excuse themselves from responsibility and guilt - I never give them the pleasure of such release.

    I don't see anything interesting in my mentality, to be frank.

    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    Yeah reality isn't pretty. Maybe some people are exceptionally lucky and can find tons of people who match perfectly with their own standards, personality, etc.
    And honestly who wouldn't like to have that type of attitude---the whole, I make up the rules, you better follow it, or hasta la vista. But I find that if I keep nitpicking at all my friends...well, eventually there will be very few left. No one is perfect, myself included, and part of making a friendship work is recognizing and accepting faults.
    Roses, I do accept others faults - ie, a lazy person in nature. I'm not going to say sayonara just because I'm a hard worker and he isn't. However, if he's a lazy person and decides to cheat on every exam I will make sure I avoid him forever. I don't ever want to be associated with people like him.

    What rules am I making up? I'm very frustrated with your reasoning. Is there a right/wrong ambiguity with adultery, murder, deceit, betrayal, etc?

    Can this be the end of the discussion? Since my decision on who to be my friends is no one's business, let's just drop this. I agree that we disagree. You obviously have a bigger heart and I don't. You obviously are more adaptable and have more friends, which is all fine. I'm petty and I admit to it. I need no clarifications or justifications. Thank you for your inputs, 999roses.
    Last edited by pandamao; 02-01-09 at 01:55 AM.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    This just occurred to me as I was reading the past two pages of replies. I remember reading cases where some woman was cheating on her husband. Then when he caught them in the act, she screamed that she was being raped by her lover, and the husband shot and killed the guy.

    Things don't often turn out that extreme, but the point is that the woman, when caught, usually throws the other person under the bus so the third person will get the dirtiest when the proverbial sith hits the fan.
    Wow, that is an extreme case but I don't feel sorry for the guy who slept with another man's wife if he knew she was married. He deserved what he got. Of course what the woman did was wrong.

  8. #128
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    pandamao's words is pretty harsh but I agree with him. There is no gray area in "messing with another man's wife". It's wrong, period. In these days, everyone should be free to do whatever that make his/her life better but not at the expense of other people or society.
    You agreeing with me actually made me lose credibility. LoL.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  9. #129
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    Actually - I've been working in the corporate world. Co-workers and friends are two separate sets of individuals and they shall remain separate, if you are smart enough. With co-workers it's strictly work and my ultimate obligation is - do what is best for the company in the long run. I have yet to see any sort of deviation. Since these co-workers/networks are not consider friends, there's no reason to have them adhere to my ethical values.

    Still believe bridges should be burn with unethical folks. "Paper cannot cover fire" - one day it will be unravel. When the day comes, I am at the better end because I'm not associated with them.
    LMAO I'm not talking about co-workers and friends. Sorry, my world ain't that small to start with. It's about your clients. Of course, if you have no desire to start your own business, maybe that is ok with you. Then again, winning clients will win credit for yourself to your company. I'm not saying your ethics are wrong, but compromise would be your handy tool.

    If you have yet to see, be prepared to see.

    But the next thing you should realised is, try to hold back from rudeness. Thank you. I don't mind becuase it's not like I'd care more, but for your own good.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  10. #130
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    LMAO I'm not talking about co-workers and friends. Sorry, my world ain't that small to start with. It's about your clients. Of course, if you have no desire to start your own business, maybe that is ok with you. Then again, winning clients will win credit for yourself to your company. I'm not saying your ethics are wrong, but compromise would be your handy tool.

    If you have yet to see, be prepared to see.

    But the next thing you should realised is, try to hold back from rudeness. Thank you. I don't mind becuase it's not like I'd care more, but for your own good.
    Um ... I'm speechless. You are quite something. Well, no need to thank me because I don't plan to do what you suggested. When I do find myself rude - I'll change and I'll be sure to let you know so you can thank me then.

    "thank you"s are just as precious as "sorries" - don't say it too much cuz it loses its juice
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  11. #131
    Senior Member 999roses's Avatar
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    Lol people, take a chill pill sheesh.

    Just because I see grey in the world, I'm emotionally charged and not rational/logical? Uh huh....

    Murder is fine to me when a woman is trying to protect herself from a rapist. But then, we may end up playing semantics games on what "murder" is. And even if it's not for self-defense, I can think of cases where I think I may personally even cross that line. Life is unpredictable, and there are people out there who have no regrets about breaking a law if it brings them something more important, whether it is pride, fulfilling a promise, saving the life of a family member, etc. And I won't judge them just based on that. It's not about the exception, but just about opening my eyes to the fact that many situations in life are not 2D, but in fact have a context.

    And pandamao, I think we're debating not really because we are that concerned with YOUR personal stance on how you make friends. It's really the whole philosophy and logic that you're proposing that I'm finding kind of interesting. It's your whole "There is no grey and this is just that simple as that" attitude that is supposed to clearly delinate people into "worthy" and "non-worthy". So, before you really get mad that we're personally attacking you or whatever, this really isn't ABOUT you specifically. At least that's not my original intention.
    Last edited by 999roses; 02-01-09 at 02:48 AM.

  12. #132
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    Shoot for the moon and if you don't make it, you'll at least be among the stars. I'm not going to throw a tantrum at every friend that decided to lie instead of fessing up but I will tell them what the right decision would be. All friends should be the same, no? As a friend, it's my responsibility to let them know what the right choice is - and I do expect them to take that path. The right choice will always guide them to less suffering in the long run.

    Trinie, I'm quite a demanding person - so I expect my group of friends to withhold the highest integrity and loyalty. I like to flock with birds that share the same mentality as I, otherwise I'd fall to evil-doing.

    That's how I am, perhaps not realistic but so far in my twenty something years of life - I have yet to fail.
    I just want to say... I don't know what to say anymore...I will just be repeating myself in different words.
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  13. #133
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    Lol people, take a chill pill sheesh.

    Just because I see grey in the world, I'm emotionally charged and not rational/logical? Uh huh....

    Murder is fine to me when a woman is trying to protect herself from a rapist. But then, we may end up playing semantics games on what "murder" is. And even if it's not for self-defense, I can think of cases where I think I may personally even cross that line. Life is unpredictable, and there are people out there who have no regrets about breaking a law if it brings them something more important, whether it is pride, fulfilling a promise, saving the life of a family member, etc. And I won't judge them just based on that. It's not about the exception, but just about opening my eyes to the fact that many situations in life are not 2D, but in fact have a context.

    And pandamao, I think we're debating not really because we are that concerned with YOUR personal stance on how you make friends. It's really the whole philosophy and logic that you're proposing that I'm finding kind of interesting. It's your whole "There is no grey and this is just that simple as that" attitude that is supposed to clearly delinate people into "worthy" and "non-worthy". So, before you really get mad that we're personally attacking you or whatever, this really isn't ABOUT you specifically. At least that's not my original intention.
    wow - I guess i really needed those emphasis.

    seriously - i'm the rude one here? this entire time i've been justifying my own action. have i said anything about your belief as wrong? when did i propose this? if i did, any one on my boat yet? TC, you there? wanna jump on? anybody?

    *rolls eyes* now i'm purposely being rude. cedric, this is where you come in and hold me down. seriously.

    shocked to oblivion. please send me to salem, cuz i'm obviously a witch they forgot to burn!
    Last edited by pandamao; 02-01-09 at 03:16 AM.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  14. #134
    Senior Member 999roses's Avatar
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    Lol, everyone else was fine with debating, until you decided to take it personally. No one said your belief was "wrong". We're just debating in general.

    See, everything seems to be about "right" or "wrong". If people are going to get so offended about whether people are going to agree with their beliefs or not, then they should notice that we're in open debate, where our beliefs may very well be challenged. We might as well stop all discussions and debates the moment someone goes, "My personal belief is challenged!" in fear of insulting them.

    And by the way, I gotta thank you for the comment about my big heart. Rarely do people comment on that. Truth is, I don't have a big heart, I just have an open mind. Just because I can perhaps see on the other side doesn't mean I'm going to support other beliefs. Just means I won't immediately write them off.
    Last edited by 999roses; 02-01-09 at 03:29 AM.

  15. #135
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    Um ... I'm speechless. You are quite something. Well, no need to thank me because I don't plan to do what you suggested.
    Xie Xie ni, for the comment. I don't always talk rubbish, only sometimes. It's ok.

    When I do find myself rude - I'll change and I'll be sure to let you know so you can thank me then.
    Many times, we oversight our bad points. It's good to spot our own bad points and acknowledge them.

    Huh? Me thank you? Sorry-Thank you. Why?

    "thank you"s are just as precious as "sorries" - don't say it too much cuz it loses its juice
    The word "Juice" itself, is becoming a kinky subject, though. - Kidding!

    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    Lol people, take a chill pill sheesh.
    Don't worry, Roses, the situation is cool. I hardly take a tense move.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  16. #136

  17. #137
    atlantean0208
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Batman View Post
    I'm sure Ken means the RK speech :

    People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?...Itís just not right. Itís not right. Itís not, itís not going to change anything. Weíll, weíll get our justice....Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, weíre all stuck here for a while. Letís try to work it out. Letís try to beat it. Letís try to beat it. Letís try to work it ou

  18. #138
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    *rolls eyes* now i'm purposely being rude. cedric, this is where you come in and hold me down. seriously.
    Yes? I'm back in service again. Shortly after posting my earlier reply, I took a few seconds to pick my nose only to realise that my name appear again. Yes, pandie? This is becoming funny than heated.

    shocked to oblivion. please send me to salem, cuz i'm obviously a witch they forgot to burn!
    Ah, no I thought Pandas are endangered species. I'm definitely against that idea!....being an animal lover
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  19. #139
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 999roses View Post
    Lol, everyone else was fine with debating, until you decided to take it personally. No one said your belief was "wrong". We're just debating in general.

    See, everything seems to be about "right" or "wrong". If people are going to get so offended about whether people are going to agree with their beliefs or not, then they should notice that we're in open debate, where our beliefs may very well be challenged. We might as well stop all discussions and debates the moment someone goes, "My personal belief is challenged!" in fear of insulting them.

    And by the way, I gotta thank you for the comment about my big heart. Rarely do people comment on that. Truth is, I don't have a big heart, I just have an open mind. Just because I can perhaps see on the other side doesn't mean I'm going to support other beliefs. Just means I won't immediately write them off.
    There was never a debate. It was just you telling me how my logic was skewed. I simply presented my practice and you decided to criticize me and I went off on you. It's that simple.

    I'm off to Salem now so you don't have to worry. I'll be burned in a few days.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  20. #140
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208 View Post
    I'm sure Ken means the RK speech :

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