Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

[pandamao]

cute moderator, got your message.

i'm going to stfu before i turn from a witch to a troll.

[atlantean0208]

$this->handle_bbcode_img_match('http://www.canadacool.com/COOLFACTS/QUEBEC/QUEBECPHOTOS/MltLennon.jpg')

What's that? Is it means singing happily with your love one to make sure they don't find another man?

[Ken Cheng]

What's that? Is it means singing happily with your love one to make sure they don't find another man?

John Lennon and Yoko Ono - "Give Peace A Chance" (1969)

[remember_Cedric]

I'm off to Salem now so you don't have to worry. I'll be burned in a few days.

Ok, relax relax relax..... now, there tend to be a point or two (of each of you) right.

Going Salem? I'll go with you.

Maybe this thread on topic has hardly anything to debate but each of us just needed to use our own experiences and words to advice our friend-in-trouble, Raddie. (Friend, being a generic and friendly term too.) Little we know that the topic has further lead us to some human principle discussion, which is why i didn't "duh" on it. Very interesting.

[pandamao]

no thanks cedric. my broom only takes one fatty.

back to the topic ...will it be okay to intervene if both the husband and wife are cheating?

[yittz]

Well, in my humble opinion: There is very little black and white in life/society. What appears to be black and white on surface often becomes varying shades of gray on closer inspection.

I like the new Ken, even though he eats up my bandwidth with his posts.

[Ken Cheng]

I like the new Ken, even though he eats up my bandwidth with his posts.

The guys got it in time; I had Gandhi, Jesus, and Buddha waiting in the wings in case Rodney King and John Lennon couldn't get the job done.

But if we got to Buddha and still, nothing worked, I would have next posted a picture of Hitler.

[atlantean0208]

cute moderator, got your message.

i'm going to stfu before i turn from a witch to a troll.

Cool down Ms. Panda , don't take it to heart what people say here. Just relax and be yourself. Actually I understand how you feel here.

Dunno if you ever read something that I wrote somewhere in this forum about my childhood life. My parents divorce just after my mother giving birth to me. My mother left me immediately after that. I stay with my father who died when I'm 3 years old. I only meet my mother again after I'm an adult.

You know why they divorced? It is because there is a third party involved and my mother married this person immediately after that. Me and my oldest half-sister, we are only a year apart in age. So you can imagine that my mother remarried immediately after giving birth to me. Anyway it's a long story and I already met my mother a couple of years ago and with 13 of half sisters for me - yeah all girls, so shocking. Although I'm still estranged with my mother, but I already forgive her for leaving me that time.

Because I understand that it is not always black and white in this world. Anyway I don't know the real story why my mother leaving my father for that man. I never have the heart to ask, coz my mother is old now and her husband already died 2 years ago.

[kidd]

Shoot for the moon and if you don't make it, you'll at least be among the stars. I'm not going to throw a tantrum at every friend that decided to lie instead of fessing up but I will tell them what the right decision would be. All friends should be the same, no? As a friend, it's my responsibility to let them know what the right choice is - and I do expect them to take that path. The right choice will always guide them to less suffering in the long run.

Trinie, I'm quite a demanding person - so I expect my group of friends to withhold the highest integrity and loyalty. I like to flock with birds that share the same mentality as I, otherwise I'd fall to evil-doing.

That's how I am, perhaps not realistic but so far in my twenty something years of life - I have yet to fail.

But, isn't it too much and too unreasonable to expect perfection from people around you when you yourself just admitted that you are not perfect? Shouldn't you make yourself perfect first before expecting perfection from others?

[999roses]

There was never a debate. It was just you telling me how my logic was skewed. I simply presented my practice and you decided to criticize me and I went off on you. It's that simple.

I'm off to Salem now so you don't have to worry. I'll be burned in a few days.

Dude, I've said it again and I'll say it here. This is a PUBLIC open debate section. You can't seriously think that other people can't touch what you say just because you use the protective cover, "This is MY personal opinion and thus shall not be challenged." If it really was that personal and intimidate to you, then you don't really need to share with the rest of the world if you can't take it if other people don't agree with you. Of course, our personal opinions are precious and personal to us, no one likes it when other people don't see things the way you do. But that's reality and I still try to talk to people even if they don't because it helps me re-think some of my stances or realize how much they mean to me EVEN IF some/the majority of people don't agree with me.

[999roses]

Cool down Ms. Panda , don't take it to heart what people say here. Just relax and be yourself. Actually I understand how you feel here.

Dunno if you ever read something that I wrote somewhere in this forum about my childhood life. My parents divorce just after my mother giving birth to me. My mother left me immediately after that. I stay with my father who died when I'm 3 years old. I only meet my mother again after I'm an adult.

You know why they divorced? It is because there is a third party involved and my mother married this person immediately after that. Me and my oldest half-sister, we are only a year apart in age. So you can imagine that my mother remarried immediately after giving birth to me. Anyway it's a long story and I already met my mother a couple of years ago and with 13 of half sisters for me - yeah all girls, so shocking. Although I'm still estranged with my mother, but I already forgive her for leaving me that time.

Because I understand that it is not always black and white in this world. Anyway I don't know the real story why my mother leaving my father for that man. I never have the heart to ask, coz my mother is old now and her husband already died 2 years ago.

Do you ever feel that she sort of owes it to you to explain? But that is really admirable that you are able to forgive her without even needing to hear her side of the story. Did she apologize at least?

[atlantean0208]

Do you ever feel that she sort of owes it to you to explain? But that is really admirable that you are able to forgive her without even needing to hear her side of the story. Did she apologize at least?

Yeah, sometimes I curious why she let me live with various foster parents (I change home 5 times until I enter high school) than taking me after my dad died. But I never try to ask her about that. I'm afraid if she give excuses and I can't accept it and getting mad instead.

No she never apologize or even said anything about it when we met. Although when asked by other people she give various excuses on why she leaving me. I heard this from other people. Anyway it's prolly love, what else there is to it. As I always said love make people do crazy things. This is prolly one example of it.

In a way I want to thank her, coz the way I live my life, it give me strong-willed and perseverance to achieve what I want to do, to get a better life for myself. Only the inside of me, is like a train-wrecked with a very unstable/reactive emotion.

Anyway, with the childhood that I have, there is no way I can be 100% *normal*.

[pandamao]

Yeah, sometimes I curious why she let me live with various foster parents (I change home 5 times until I enter high school) than taking me after my dad died. But I never try to ask her about that. I'm afraid if she give excuses and I can't accept it and getting mad instead.

No she never apologize or even said anything about it when we met. Although when asked by other people she give various excuses on why she leaving me. I heard this from other people. Anyway it's prolly love, what else there is to it. As I always said love make people do crazy things. This is prolly one example of it.

In a way I want to thank her, coz the way I live my life, it give me strong-willed and perseverance to achieve what I want to do, to get a better life for myself. Only the inside of me, is like a train-wrecked with a very unstable/reactive emotion.

Anyway, with the childhood that I have, there is no way I can be 100% *normal*.

Kids aren't suppose to grow up unhappy. I would never thank her for anything. She should be thankful you are so forgiving. I didn't talk to either of my parents for almost a decade and whenever I'm at graduations, I let them know they had no part in my success.

[pandamao]

But, isn't it too much and too unreasonable to expect perfection from people around you when you yourself just admitted that you are not perfect? Shouldn't you make yourself perfect first before expecting perfection from others?

I ask of them to aim for perfection not saying only perfect people can be my friend. Shouldn't everyone aim for perfection?

I understand that 999roses is saying perfection is not well-defined and certain issues may have more behind it than meet the eyes. To me, those are just excuses to justify their weakness.

I'm not perfect but I will do my best to be a perfect friend. I really don't see an issue with me being friends with people that aim to be a perfect friend. I definitely feel safer in this world knowing my friends will be the last people to betray me.

[atlantean0208]

Kids aren't suppose to grow up unhappy. I would never thank her for anything. She should be thankful you are so forgiving. I didn't talk to either of my parents for almost a decade and whenever I'm at graduations, I let them know they had no part in my success.

Haha - I only met my mother when I'm 25 years old and I do two graduations alone without anyone coming . Prolly because she *go away* and I'm still a baby, so it feels like I never have a mother whatsoever. So that is why there is no grudge from me for her.

Even now I never feel her like my own mother, it's just feel awkward when I meet her. I never hug her. Anyway parents is something that I don't have the privileged to love when I'm growing up. Changing home 5 times, I'm just confuse who my real parent is . When I enter high school (boarding school), I kind of emancipate myself from my *family* and do my study alone at the Uni by doing various jobs etc at night.

[999roses]

I ask of them to aim for perfection not saying only perfect people can be my friend. Shouldn't everyone aim for perfection?

I understand that 999roses is saying perfection is not well-defined and certain issues may have more behind it than meet the eyes. To me, those are just excuses to justify their weakness.

I'm not perfect but I will do my best to be a perfect friend. I really don't see an issue with me being friends with people that aim to be a perfect friend. I definitely feel safer in this world knowing my friends will be the last people to betray me.

There is something called aiming to improve oneself, which is a lot more realistic imo. When someone aims for something that they can never achieve (because no one is ever perfect), aka trying to be a perfectionist, it's basically setting yourself up for disappointment.

I'm glad that you know how to define a "perfect friend" and that all your friends agree with your definition and also try to strive for the exact same thing. What a wonderful world of friendship and aiming for perfection you guys must live in, congrats.

Haha - I only met my mother when I'm 25 years old and I do two graduations alone without anyone coming . Prolly because she *go away* and I'm still a baby, so it feels like I never have a mother whatsoever. So that is why there is no grudge from me for her.

Even now I never feel her like my own mother, it's just feel awkward when I meet her. I never hug her. Anyway parents is something that I don't have the privileged to love when I'm growing up. Changing home 5 times, I'm just confuse who my real parent is . When I enter high school (boarding school), I kind of emancipate myself from my *family* and do my study alone at the Uni by doing various jobs etc at night.

That is really sad athlantean, but judging by the maturity of your posts, I do think the experiences have shaped you positively despite your sufferings. Many people become bitter, and you're right, it probably hurts them in the long run. I could probably see myself being bitter about it, but the thing is that, when you're bitter, you hurt yourself more than anyone else because carrying a lot of hatred and hurt really does weigh down on you.

I still think she should apologize though. Not that it'll change anything, but it's nice to acknowledge that she didn't do her job as a parent. Oh well, maybe one day.

[Radken]

Sorry I haven't replied in a couple of days.

So I saw Jackie on Saturday. After lunch I took her to our favorite spot along Angeles Crest where we like to stop and see the sun set. I was quiet throughout the entire the time I was driving there. She picked it up and when I finally stopped she asked me what was up. I questioned her if she ever thought what we we're doing is wrong. She didn't say anything except tensed up and looked forward. We were both quiet for a few minutes before I finally thought of what I needed to say. I said I love her but I don't want her to look back on what we did and realized it was a mistake so I think she should go back to her husband. She stayed completely still after that. I can tell by the expression on her face that she was starting to feel uncomfortable but I continued on. I told her she should go back to Diego because he's more financially stable and cherishes her as well. Since he hasn't found out about us yet we can still quit and she can salvage her marriage. She instantly turned around and tried to open the door but I quickly grabbed her wrist. She broke down and let out a huge sob. I didn't know how to react. I just sat there and watch her cry. After a long while she looked up at me and asked if I still care about her. I was reluctant to respond so I just let her see my watery eyes as a way of telling her. She then quietly uttered she's pregnant. She took out the birth control test from her purse to show me it's positive... I embraced her and assured her everything is going to be alright but in my mind I was freaking out. Even now. I promised we will talk about what our next course of action is going to be but I had to think about it because there were thousand of thoughts running through my head at that moment and I didn't want to say anything hasty or make impulsive decisions. Jackie said she doesn't want to get an abortion. She had to babysit her nephew that night so we left.

I've been putting alot of thought into my moral dilemma since then. Unfortunately I haven't been able to think of a way out.

[Han Solo]

Oh Sh!t.

Is it yours?? cause your original post never include the actual timeline of this happening.,,,,

Han Solo

[yittz]

Clarify who's it is before making any decisions.

If it's yours, this complicates things to no end. Especially if she is adamant against abortion.

I think you need to talk to your family or whoever is the closest to you.

[Candide]

Why the hell didn't you say that you porked this one earlier? Congratulation, you cuckolded another man who's done nothing to you, because you were thinking with your d!ck and bought some BS sob story of a cheating wh0re. There's nothing lower than this.

Having said that, double-check if it's yours. Count down the days, even the hours if needed. When wifey is wh0ring around to take revenge on her hubby, she might have more than just one human dildo. If she has (or has not) the heart to cheat on her husband in this manner, she can abort a fetus no worries.

Fark man, you didn't even have the mind to wrap your tool when you're fooling around. Jesus Christ on a bike! *shakes head*

"It's your baby!" + tears = oldest trick in the book.