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Thread: Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    Default Is it wrong to mess with another man's wife?

    So here's my story, I met this girl in college and we have been friends for three years. She's the nicest girl I know who likes to smile all the time. A few months ago we were both invited to a party by an old colleague of ours. As the night went on, she got drunk, and revealed to me she was not happy with her marriage because her husband is too controlling and has become reckless with his spending. (Bought a Mercedes using money from their joint-account without her consent.) She was so upset that she didn't want to go home and opted to stay the night at my place instead. She didn't have to worry about her husband because he's usually out with his friends and doesn't come back until late in the morning and she's been to my apartment before. When we got back to my place her behavior reverted back to normal. She was acting like her same old cheerful self again. We started joking around and dancing to some indigenous folk music. Eventually we got tired and watched tv. I was planning to sleep on the couch and was falling half asleep when suddenly she crawled into my blanket. I asked what she was doing and she said she was cold. I knew she drank alot earlier so I figured she was still feeling the buzz. After awhile I heard her crying again. I asked her what's wrong and she told me she doesn't think her husband loves her anymore. They haven't been intimate lately and he treats her more like a trophy. I tried to comfort her, telling her that she's over thinking, but she wouldn't stop crying so in the spur of the moment I wrapped my arms around her, kissed her on the head, and told her I love her. Ever since then when we're not meeting each other three nights a week, we constantly text message each other, or have late night phone conversations.

    What would you do if you were in my situation?
    Last edited by Radken; 01-28-09 at 10:28 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    Ever since then when we're not meeting each other three nights a week, we constantly text message each other, or have late night phone conversations.
    Judging by the context of the sentence, I presume you meant now.

    Play it safe; we don't want to see you as victim of the next "Chinese relationship gone wrong and the husband turns into psycho murderer" headline
    Last edited by PJ; 01-28-09 at 10:46 AM.
    TC to Ken: "You need to watch the ending of ROCH 83."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    Judging by the context of the sentence, I presume you meant now.

    If you keep up with this, one can only hope you don't end up as the next dead victim of a "Chinese relationship gone wrong and the husband turns into psycho murderer" headline.
    Don't worry. I've read SOD and have honed my sword technique to the peak of perfection. Not even Zhuo Buofan can kill me now.

  4. #4
    atlantean0208
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    It depends on the perspective. If it's your wife that being screwed then it's wrong coz you're not going to like it. Otherwise if you're the one who do the screwing - LOL - it's indeed not a wrong action coz you're not going to do it if you think there is something wrong with it.

    -: Order of Really Badass SPCNET-ter :-
    Last edited by atlantean0208; 01-28-09 at 10:31 AM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208 View Post
    It depends on the perspective. If it's your wife that being screwed then it's wrong coz you're not going to like it. Otherwise if you're the one who do the screwing - LOL - it's indeed not a wrong action coz you're not going to do it if you think there is something wrong with it.
    I don't have a wife. And even if I do I would never neglect her to the point where she has to find comfort in another man. If I did then maybe I deserve it.

    I know I'm doing something wrong but I'm tempted to continue. I'm wondering what the rest of you think.
    Last edited by Radken; 01-28-09 at 10:49 AM.

  6. #6
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    If she is unhappy, she should separate from the husband. While she's married, you shouldn't mess with her. You're hearing one side of the story. If the guy is really that bad, how come she hasn't started thinking about leaving him?

    I think you're holding back something from your story, it may already be too late for not crossing the line.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
    SOD Pt. 7 updated Jan. 6, '08

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  7. #7
    atlantean0208
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    I know I'm doing something wrong but I'm tempted to continue.
    That is actually normal, I mean doing bad things is actually feel good and addictive, compare to doing volunteer job etc.

    Just beware that probably the woman just want to use you in time of her crisis. When she do resolve her problems she will leave you and not asking you to contact her anymore. At that time, maybe because you're too far away in *the game *, please do not be a guy version of Fatal Attraction.
    Last edited by atlantean0208; 01-28-09 at 10:59 AM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208 View Post
    Or maybe the woman just want to use you in time of her crisis. When she do resolve her problems she will leave you and not asking you to contact her anymore. At that time, maybe because you're too far away in *the game *, please do not be a guy version of Fatal Attraction.
    I've known her for a period of time. She's not like that. And why do you and PJ say the same thing? Is there no other guy here who has ever wanted someone who's already in a relationship or has?
    Last edited by Radken; 01-28-09 at 11:10 AM.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Radken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    If she is unhappy, she should separate from the husband. While she's married, you shouldn't mess with her. You're hearing one side of the story. If the guy is really that bad, how come she hasn't started thinking about leaving him?

    I think you're holding back something from your story, it may already be too late for not crossing the line.
    She comes from a strict Catholic family. She doesn't want to disappoint them.

    I have to sleep but I'll give out more details later...
    Last edited by Radken; 01-28-09 at 11:15 AM.

  10. #10
    atlantean0208
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radken View Post
    I've known her for a period of time. She's not like that. And she only married him out of necessity. And why do you and PJ say the same thing? Is there no other guy here who has ever wanted someone who's already in a relationship or has?
    Well you should listen to what JiangBao already said, being a third party is not a good thing. If you really love her, let her settle things first with her husband and if she already separated then you can *come in*. No problem.

    However involve in an adultery is a no-no in my book. That is what I want to say. You can say I'm old fashion but it's just not right to dive in into other people problems.
    Last edited by atlantean0208; 01-28-09 at 11:37 AM.

  11. #11
    Senior Member KJ's Avatar
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    You can be there for her as a friend, but you shouldn't do anything to commit adultery while she's still with her husband. It is up to her whether she wants to leave him or not. Do they have kids? Who knows, maybe they will work things out and be a happy family together. She can also get sick of him and leave him, but until then you can only be there and support her as a friend, not a lover.

  12. #12
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    It's normal to be attracted sometimes to people who happen to already be in a relationship/marriage, but whether you do anything about it is the key. I personally would not.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
    SOD Pt. 7 updated Jan. 6, '08

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  13. #13
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    I also think that you should NOT be a third party in someone else's marriage regardless of how unhappy it is. I honestly feel that it is wrong to even take another person's boyfriend/girlfriend away(especially if they are serious and may get married),therefore, marriage is a BIG no-no. If your friend is unhappy, then she should try to settle things with her husband first. Then if she is single again, then that may be the time for you to come in if it is right... But I also think you need to think about her husband too. I don't think you would like it if you were the husband and your wife is messing with others... I believe in karma and IF you ever break up a marriage or relationship, the same thing will happen to you later on. What goes around comes around...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    That wh0re was lying to you. Don't trust her one bit. You're one of the followings to her: emotion tampon or revenge fvck. Since you never took advantage of the situation, you're becoming the former.

    DO NOT ever get into a triangle, let alone messing with another man's wife. DO NOT play Captain Save-A-Ho when you don't know the full story. She's not some poor innocent damsel in distress that you must white-knight yourself up to save her sweet arse.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

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  15. #15
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    She's using you.

  16. #16
    Senior Member LuNaR's Avatar
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    tell her to divorce first b4 u do anything haha

    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    That wh0re was lying to you. Don't trust her one bit. You're one of the followings to her: emotion tampon or revenge fvck. Since you never took advantage of the situation, you're becoming the former.

    DO NOT ever get into a triangle, let alone messing with another man's wife. DO NOT play Captain Save-A-Ho when you don't know the full story. She's not some poor innocent damsel in distress that you must white-knight yourself up to save her sweet arse.
    coming from u, i thought u would suggest to fvck her first and then think of the rest after
    Last edited by LuNaR; 01-28-09 at 08:01 PM.
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    I agree with jiang bao and Trinie that you should not messing around with someone else wife. It's immoral and dangerous. If the husband found out, you could be dead. And if you indeed sleep with his wife, then you deserve it. You could be the next Ron Goldman.
    Last edited by Trien Chieu; 01-28-09 at 06:38 PM.

  18. #18
    Member jsamador's Avatar
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    If she is a friend, you can't really abandon her in her time of need. However, there is that certain line you mustn't cross unless all things are clear and clean.

    Love your neighbor (but don't get caught )

  19. #19
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    If she is unhappy, she should separate from the husband. While she's married, you shouldn't mess with her. You're hearing one side of the story. If the guy is really that bad, how come she hasn't started thinking about leaving him?

    I think you're holding back something from your story, it may already be too late for not crossing the line.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    I also think that you should NOT be a third party in someone else's marriage regardless of how unhappy it is. I honestly feel that it is wrong to even take another person's boyfriend/girlfriend away(especially if they are serious and may get married),therefore, marriage is a BIG no-no. If your friend is unhappy, then she should try to settle things with her husband first. Then if she is single again, then that may be the time for you to come in if it is right... But I also think you need to think about her husband too. I don't think you would like it if you were the husband and your wife is messing with others... I believe in karma and IF you ever break up a marriage or relationship, the same thing will happen to you later on. What goes around comes around...
    what they said. that's that. you just don't do it. girl could be using you too. find your ways with her after things have settled with her husband.. what if he finds out now? "you've been mistreating her so she's gona come home with me now" as ur defense?
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  20. #20
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    If her marriage is that terrible - give her advice on how to fix it and make it better, or advice her to leave him. Don't get between someone's marriage, because you never know the exact details, and even though you're trying to help, you may make things worse, and in the end, hurt many more people than intended.

    If you really care about her - then wait until she leaves her husband and then get involved.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

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