View Poll Results: Can you forgive your *best friend* if he/she cheated on you?

Voters
28. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, there's a chance I might forgive him/her

    4 14.29%
  • No, I don't think I can forgive him/her

    24 85.71%
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 21 to 38 of 38

Thread: Can you forgive your *best friend* if he/she cheated on you?

  1. #21
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    right here, right now
    Posts
    3,541

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    Alright, let's alter the scenario slightly: what if your best friend did something behind your back with your crush. Can you ever forgive your best friend? And by forgive, I mean "put it behind you", not necessarily that you have to be good friends again.
    If my best friend knows that person is my crush and did that, I'd get hurt and probably need awhile to forgive. It would more or less shake the friendship. Depends on how much (my bestfriend) we've been through. For a 'thick & thin' friendship, I wouldn't want to forsake just because of a Crush.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  2. #22
    Senior Member Lucky_Doraemon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    AA
    Posts
    292

    Default

    I'm not sure probably no, but not only her i wouldn't forgive my partner either. Although thankfully i've never been in the situation, i'm sure in reality if you were truelly in love with your partner then it would be hard to not be with them. Best to just make a clean break and forget them so they become unimportant to you so maybe the pain wouldn't be as bad and more likely to forgive?

    My friends and my SO have very little contact with each other, i see his friends alot more and hang out as a group whereas he's scared of my friends

    If it was just a crush if they were a true best friend then i can forgive her because it was only a crush.
    @)--;-----
    Yan Kuan
    Wot more do u want?!

  3. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    6,741

    Default

    short term no
    long term yes
    Participate in SPCNET Idol Season 4!!!

    http://www.spcnet.tv/forums/showthre...66#post1127566

    Entries due July 31st, 2016!

  4. #24
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    24,367

    Default

    A crush does not represent any kind of claim. If the principal has not acted upon this crush, then it is not reasonable for the principal to expect that the subject of his/her crush or the competing friend should wait around for the principal to make a move. Neither the subject of the crush or the competing friend has any ethical obligation to do so.

    Under the circumstances, it doesn't look like the principal has any legitimate reason to be upset with the subject of his/her crush or his/her competing friend. That might be the way the principal reacts, but the reaction isn't reasonable.

  5. #25
    Senior Member girllikeme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    Scenario: your best friend had an affair with your partner behind your back. Can you ever forgive your best friend after he/she did that?
    Forgive, but end of friendship...

    AND relationship.
    Sometimes it's hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Qin_Shu_Bao's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    1,069

    Default

    No, never, not a chance.

  7. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    1,530

    Default

    All is fair in love and war. If you have a crush and you didn't act before your friend, you have only yourself to blame.

  8. #28
    Member Lifeburner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Indonesia, where people will trap you in a Big Dipper formation if you steal a chicken...
    Posts
    148

    Default

    My action: Visit that friend of mine, smack him on the head, and said 'I pity the phool who needs to go behind my back just to mess around with my fiance, when he could just ask me about it,' and then ask him to treat me for a lunch.

    And yes, I do consider my friends more important than my love life.
    It was often said, "Among horses, Chi Tu (Red Hare). Among retards, Lu Bu."

    Vice-President of Wuji Haters Club!

    Originator of "Wuv Kuddly Hamsty" activity.

  9. #29
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Posts
    13,111

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GuGu View Post
    a person who can have feelings for their friend's life partner should not call themself a friend.
    Have feelings and acting on the feelings is different matter. Feelings you can't control, but, what you do with the feeling, you can control.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  10. #30
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    24,367

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Have feelings and acting on the feelings is different matter. Feelings you can't control, but, what you do with the feeling, you can control.
    Not necessarily.

  11. #31
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Somewhere Out There
    Posts
    13,111

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    Not necessarily.
    Care to elaborate?
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  12. #32
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    24,367

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Care to elaborate?
    Not really. Certain people will not like it, and I've had my fill fighting them.

    Experience will make for a much more convincing argument than I could ever convey through words, anyway.

  13. #33
    Senior Member BearBearNweather's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    419

    Default

    Get rid of "best" friend and partner should that happen. Ideally, I'd love to give them some permanent bodily damage (like removal of some parts) but that's illegal. Love to see them strike by lightning, rot somewhere, etc but getting them out of my life and move on with my life would be good enough.

    If that person is only my crush, think I'd be hurt because she has kept it a secret rather than because that's my crush.

  14. #34
    Senior Member sehseh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    2,562

    Default

    Never

    To me the betrayal of a best friend hurts 100x more than a boyfriend.

  15. #35
    Senior Member milKBoi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Sexy Island
    Posts
    550

    Default

    No.

    It be awful to experience it. A lose lose situation.
    ~ I'm so awesome.. the greatest ever after Kobe!! ~
    ~ aka Mini T-mac here ~

  16. #36
    Senior Member Lady Zhuge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    7,510

    Default

    Nope, but although it'd be painful in the short run, she would have actually done me a favor by showing me both her true colors AND the true colors of the dickhead who cheated on me with her before our relationship advanced any further. So perhaps I'd consider sending her a thank-you note somewhere down the line.

  17. #37
    Senior Member BearBearNweather's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    419

    Default

    Read a novel recently about a female who met her ex-husband a few years after their divorce and their relationship picked up again. When she was considering reconciliation, she found out by accident that after the divorce, he had became close friend with her best friend and the two even shared a sexual relationship. He ended the sexual part of the relationship with her best friend when he wanted his ex-wife back. There was no committment between him and her best friend.

    The story may be fictional but wouldn't it be awkward for all of them?

  18. #38
    Junior Member ArMaNi_Iz_D_bSt!!!'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Richmond, London
    Posts
    3

    Default

    No way! off course not. I mean if my best friend cheated on me, then I would never be able to trust her ever again. Why??? - well because I know for a fact that I was wrong in trusting her in the first place and if I forgive her, it will mean she will expect me to trust her.

    Once someone has abused someone elses trust, it's difficult to regain their trust again.
    ArMaNi_Iz_D_bSt!!!

Similar Threads

  1. Should the Chinese forgive the Mongolians?
    By Ghaleon in forum Open Debate
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 08-30-15, 09:59 PM
  2. "The Legendary Twins" - I feel cheated
    By Candide in forum Wuxia Fiction
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 09-25-13, 12:15 AM
  3. Should the Chinese forgive the Japanese?
    By j-walker in forum Open Debate
    Replies: 535
    Last Post: 10-30-10, 12:43 AM
  4. Forgive me, I'm American...
    By straykitty in forum Wuxia Translations
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 04-24-07, 10:26 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •