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Thread: Would you convert because you are marrying?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Thor's Avatar
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    Default Would you convert because you are marrying?

    Some religion requires that you convert to the spouse's religion.

    Would you do it just for reason of marriage?

  2. #2
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    No. I don't think I'd want to be in a relationship where I can't have my own beliefs. But luckily for me, that's not going to be a problem.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thor View Post
    Some religion requires that you convert to the spouse's religion.
    Would you do it just for reason of marriage?
    No, you should not.
    If you don't believe in it, then you should not convert. Religions are for believers to practice and gods are for believers to worship. They are not for people to use as a tool for personal gain. It's morally wrong for doing so and it's a sin.

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    Senior Member sheraldine's Avatar
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    am freethinker, but no.

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    Senior Member Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sheraldine View Post
    am freethinker, but no.
    If you marry a Malay, are you not required to convert?

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    Senior Member sheraldine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thor View Post
    If you marry a Malay, are you not required to convert?
    that is why, Thor, i married a chinese, not malay. used to date a malay boy, but that cinta monyet than cinta mithali.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    I can tell you guys that this is easier said than done. I know this very well because it almost happened within my family and with one of my friends. With my family, they forced my brother to convert and I think he said yes, but my parents and family said NO!! I mean, my brother was not a religious person so he said yes and was willing to do anything to marry the girl. But due to my family's opposition, he did not marry her and suffered a lot... Luckily he is over it now.....

    With my friend's case, her parents forced her husband to convert or else they would not have gotten married. He did not want to nor did his family, but her parents forced him... Therefore, he converted just on paper to marry my friend but he does NOT believe in Catholicism at all... They were forced to have a church ceremony and all that stuff too... But the thing is, he never goes to church at all so I didn't see the point of forcing others to convert...

    I know it is easy to say that if you are not in that situation, but if you were faced with it... That is a different story.
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  8. #8
    Senior Member sheraldine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    I can tell you guys that this is easier said than done. I know this very well because it almost happened within my family and with one of my friends. With my family, they forced my brother to convert and I think he said yes, but my parents and family said NO!! I mean, my brother was not a religious person so he said yes and was willing to do anything to marry the girl. But due to my family's opposition, he did not marry her and suffered a lot... Luckily he is over it now.....

    With my friend's case, her parents forced her husband to convert or else they would not have gotten married. He did not want to nor did his family, but her parents forced him... Therefore, he converted just on paper to marry my friend but he does NOT believe in Catholicism at all... They were forced to have a church ceremony and all that stuff too... But the thing is, he never goes to church at all so I didn't see the point of forcing others to convert...

    I know it is easy to say that if you are not in that situation, but if you were faced with it... That is a different story.
    to have everyone happy and everyone easy, make sure religion not an issue. mom a devout buddhish while dad the total opposite. when big sister married a christian and second sis married the catholic, both said nothing. on the other hand, my sisters never converted according to their hubby's religion.

  9. #9
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    I would do it if I really wanted to marry the person. I mean I wouldn't believe in it anyway, so it's just a matter of nuissance of maybe having to go to church and all that nonsense.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
    SOD Pt. 7 updated Jan. 6, '08

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    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    No. Why would I convert to a religion if I couldn't believe in it? That's just so senseless. Such things should be about faith, not headcount! Respect and tolerance is the most I can give, so if I'm forced to convert (and having to abide to certain rules even), I may just walk off.
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    Senior Member Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sheraldine View Post
    that is why, Thor, i married a chinese, not malay. used to date a malay boy, but that cinta monyet than cinta mithali.
    Can you translate that "cinta monyet than cinta mithali".

    So in Malaysia, if you become a Muslim on marriage, should you have a divorce, can you unconvert?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    I would do it if I really wanted to marry the person. I mean I wouldn't believe in it anyway, so it's just a matter of nuissance of maybe having to go to church and all that nonsense.
    Religion is for believer to practice/worship, not a tool for you to use for personal gain. It's morally wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    I can tell you guys that this is easier said than done. I know this very well because it almost happened within my family and with one of my friends. With my family, they forced my brother to convert and I think he said yes, but my parents and family said NO!! I mean, my brother was not a religious person so he said yes and was willing to do anything to marry the girl. But due to my family's opposition, he did not marry her and suffered a lot... Luckily he is over it now.....

    With my friend's case, her parents forced her husband to convert or else they would not have gotten married. He did not want to nor did his family, but her parents forced him... Therefore, he converted just on paper to marry my friend but he does NOT believe in Catholicism at all... They were forced to have a church ceremony and all that stuff too... But the thing is, he never goes to church at all so I didn't see the point of forcing others to convert...

    I know it is easy to say that if you are not in that situation, but if you were faced with it... That is a different story.
    Your brother will probably suffer more if he converted and married the girl. People with conscience, moral and dignity will not do give in and do such thing.

  14. #14
    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    Religion is for believer to practice/worship, not a tool for you to use for personal gain. It's morally wrong.
    Whatever dude.

    If you think religion is important or you need religion to guide your own view on what's right or wrong, good for you (I guess). But for me, religion means nothing. If I need to convert, then I convert. In my case, converting to a religion is just like relocating to another city, an inconvenience.
    What are you fighting for? Just mix them into pissing beef balls, stupid.
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  15. #15
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    Your brother will probably suffer more if he converted and married the girl. People with conscience, moral and dignity will not do give in and do such thing.
    That's true but I am glad that my family did not give in or else my brother would have suffered a lot. It's not that my brother does not have a morals or dignity, but I guess he was too blinded by love...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guo Xiang View Post
    No. Why would I convert to a religion if I couldn't believe in it? That's just so senseless. Such things should be about faith, not headcount! Respect and tolerance is the most I can give, so if I'm forced to convert (and having to abide to certain rules even), I may just walk off.
    I agree with you and don't understand why some people are so religious to the point that they have to force their husband/wife to convert just to get married. I just think that is so wrong, especially when the other person does not believe in it at all..
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    Whatever dude.

    If you think religion is important or you need religion to guide your own view on what's right or wrong, good for you (I guess). But for me, religion means nothing. If I need to convert, then I convert. In my case, converting to a religion is just like relocating to another city, an inconvenience.
    I am an atheist but I have respect for religion. I drive my mom and her friend to buddha temple almost every sunday but I don't go in. My mom and her friend going there because they believe in it. For people who don't believe in it, then they should not go there. People with morals, self respect, dignity, pride, ect. would not go there and using religion for personal gain. People who do it should be ashamed of themself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    That's true but I am glad that my family did not give in or else my brother would have suffered a lot. It's not that my brother does not have a morals or dignity, but I guess he was too blinded by love...
    Yes, I agree. Love is blind and can influence people to make wrong decisions. If your brother's gf loved him, then she should accept the way he was. She can continue practicing her religion but should not force him to believe what he doesn't believe in.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinie View Post
    I agree with you and don't understand why some people are so religious to the point that they have to force their husband/wife to convert just to get married. I just think that is so wrong, especially when the other person does not believe in it at all..
    Yes, that is very scary.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    I am an atheist but I have respect for religion. I drive my mom and her friend to buddha temple almost every sunday but I don't go in. My mom and her friend going there because they believe in it. For people who don't believe in it, then they should not go there. People with morals, self respect, dignity, pride, ect. would not go there and using religion for personal gain. People who do it should be ashamed of themself.
    Well with Buddhism,we are NOT required to go to the temple every week like Catholics do. We go only because we want to go or if we feel like going...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Trinie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trien Chieu View Post
    Yes, I agree. Love is blind and can influence people to make wrong decisions. If your brother's gf loved him, then she should accept the way he was. She can continue practicing her religion but should not force him to believe what he doesn't believe in.



    Yes, that is very scary.
    I agree but it was not just her, it was her stupid parents that forced him... My parents did NOT agree at all and refused to give in. The good thing was they finally showed their real face before they got married or else it would have been a tragedy...
    Respect other people's opinions and views. If we learn how to do that than all of these fights and arguments will not occur.

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