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chivalry is still alive?
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  1. #1
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    Default chivalry is still alive?

    I want to talk about the act of being "nice" to girls. I want to hear it from the girl's perspective.

    For me (a guy), I do not want to do the small thing, I don't want to open the door for you (girls), I don't want to pull your seat, I don't want to peel shrimps for you to eat. Why? well.
    1) I'm looking to have fun eating/playing, and not having to worry what I have to do in order for you not to get upset.
    2) I'm not your butler.
    3) you are not disable.

    Alot of asian girls find it appauling that I'm not willing to do that crap. I saw some of the BFs do it, and it's just not for me. I hate to say it, but that's probably why I don't have a GF haha. In all seriousness, are those things expected? for me I'm not desperate enough to be at a girl's hand and feet just so I can have a GF, i'm better than that.

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    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    I want to talk about the act of being "nice" to girls. I want to hear it from the girl's perspective.

    For me (a guy), I do not want to do the small thing, I don't want to open the door for you (girls), I don't want to pull your seat, I don't want to peel shrimps for you to eat. Why? well.
    1) I'm looking to have fun eating/playing, and not having to worry what I have to do in order for you not to get upset.
    2) I'm not your butler.
    3) you are not disable.

    Alot of asian girls find it appauling that I'm not willing to do that crap. I saw some of the BFs do it, and it's just not for me. I hate to say it, but that's probably why I don't have a GF haha. In all seriousness, are those things expected? for me I'm not desperate enough to be at a girl's hand and feet just so I can have a GF, i'm better than that.
    Hmm. I don't want any of that too, and I don't find them part of chivalry either. Has the word been butchered or something?

    Opening the car door and pulling the seat are gentlemanly but not necessary acts, and the former is just a complete waste of time. I would feel uncomfortable and impatient if I have to wait for the guy to get down from his seat, walk over to my side and open the door for me. ARGH.

    Peeling shrimp is simply stupid. I'm not going to do that for my bf too. We have my own hands and fingers.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member patricia n's Avatar
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    yes it is.

    i don't expect my friends to be chilvarous. nor do i expect my dates to be chilvarous; however, when a guy performs gentlemanly acts as though it were second nature to him then it definitely stands out to me in a positive way. i'm lucky because most of the guys i've dated have been chilvarous.

    i do not expect the guy to peel the shell of the shrimp for me or anything to that ridiculous extent, nor do i want to wait for a guy to exit his side of the car to open my car door. nevertheless, it's the nice but subtle things that my boyfriend does that makes him chilvarous. for example, when we enter buildings, he DOES open the door, but he somehow always manages to get their slightly ahead of me while chatting with me and pulls the door for me. yes, i am capable of pulling the door and i open the door for us when i reach the door first. it's not a contest for us.

    there are many things that he does that can be considered chilvarous. even my guy friends to some extent are chilvarous, and it is fair that chilvary is reciprocated in friendships and in relationships. as in, if a guy with a manual car unlocks the car door so that the girl can enter the car first, then it is expected of the girl to reach over to the driver side to unlock the door for the guy.

    i'm tired and am babbling, but point is, chilvary is still alive. and people can still have fun despite the occasional but mild inconveniences brought about by chilvary.
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    Member ChuckC's Avatar
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    Chivalry was great when you were a man at age 13, got married to your 11 year old wife, and then produced sons (ideally) before dying in battle at some point in your teens/20s. Women existed to bear sons, and therefore they were to be protected and nurtured. The male really didn't live long and afterwards, the woman would be widowed and unwanted. Women had no rights at all, and no say in anything. It made sense back then.

    But now, women are free souls to do as they please. They divorce as they please, and date whoever they please. Not that anything in life is fair, but women having full rights + expecting males to practice Chivalry is grossly unfair. That's why it doesn't exist in the way it did before.

    It's all up to the couple and how they choose to balance the roles. You gotta give some to get some.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckC View Post
    Chivalry was great when you were a man at age 13, got married to your 11 year old wife, and then produced sons (ideally) before dying in battle at some point in your teens/20s. Women existed to bear sons, and therefore they were to be protected and nurtured. The male really didn't live long and afterwards, the woman would be widowed and unwanted. Women had no rights at all, and no say in anything. It made sense back then.

    But now, women are free souls to do as they please. They divorce as they please, and date whoever they please. Not that anything in life is fair, but women having full rights + expecting males to practice Chivalry is grossly unfair. That's why it doesn't exist in the way it did before.

    It's all up to the couple and how they choose to balance the roles. You gotta give some to get some.
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    THANK YOU.

    OMG i thought i was just being a *****, turns out i'm the normal one. funny thing (well not so funny).

    we were sitting at a table, those girls told me that bf peels shrimp for gf. I blurted out "who's the crazy idiot that would do that?"... then I looked over and one of the girl's BF was doing it. That dude was a little embarrass later when I saw him. Totally my fault, but I still find it funny.

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    Senior Member yittz's Avatar
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    Peeling shrimps!! Aren't girls suppose to do that for the guys?
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    Quote Originally Posted by yittz View Post
    Peeling shrimps!! Aren't girls suppose to do that for the guys?
    Parents are supposed to do that for little kids, and that's about it.

    OK...you might want to peel them for elderly people with arthritis too, or quadriplegics or amputees, but THAT'S definitely where the line is drawn!

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    I bring my girls to Mc Donalds drive through.

    No need for opening doors. No shrimp peeling.
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    Senior Member yittz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oGaKirA View Post
    I bring my girls to Mc Donalds drive through.

    No need for opening doors. No shrimp peeling.
    Minimal expectation is for you to dip each individual chip in ketchup. Bonus cuddling time if you hold the burger to her mouth.
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    Man the peeling shrimps discussion !! If you were real Asians you would eat the shell and the head.

    Actually here in Orange County, in Little Saigon there are shrimp & crawfish restaurants all over. The Asian girls at those joints are mostly Vietnamese but they'll peel their own shrimp. They'll even suck the heads out, making those slurping noises you no doubt are familiar with. So chivalry is not required there.

    It's often a huge pain in the *** to bring western girls around shrimp & shellfish, unless you feel like being especially chivalrous. That's why I would just take her to Lee's Sandwiches.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by yittz View Post
    Peeling shrimps!! Aren't girls suppose to do that for the guys?
    Agreed.

    Lol.

    I got ppl who peel me prawn etc for dinner, save me using my hands.

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    It's deader than a dead parrot. Feminism killed it.

    Btw chilvary is not what some pussy whipped guys do for chicks as they're desperate to get some crumbs of female affection.
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    But now, women are free souls to do as they please. They divorce as they please, and date whoever they please. Not that anything in life is fair, but women having full rights + expecting males to practice Chivalry is grossly unfair. That's why it doesn't exist in the way it did before.

    It's all up to the couple and how they choose to balance the roles. You gotta give some to get some.
    100% agree.
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    It's a two-way thing. My boyfriend still opens doors for me. It's more often as a gesture, since I usually just open the other door myself. But I appreciate him for the gesture and the fact that he thinks of doing so (especially if we have to walk through heavy doors that I have trouble opening myself). On the flip side, I peel shrimps for him (just did so this evening at dinner ha), since I'm faster and better at it.

    I personally like the fact that my boyfriend acts like a gentleman when the occasion calls for it. I don't mind the fact that I also spoil and indulge him at times. It's a two-way thing - if you want your man to be "chivalrous" and do nice things for you, then take the step and so some nice things for him too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckC View Post
    Chivalry was great when you were a man at age 13, got married to your 11 year old wife, and then produced sons (ideally) before dying in battle at some point in your teens/20s. Women existed to bear sons, and therefore they were to be protected and nurtured. The male really didn't live long and afterwards, the woman would be widowed and unwanted. Women had no rights at all, and no say in anything. It made sense back then.

    But now, women are free souls to do as they please. They divorce as they please, and date whoever they please. Not that anything in life is fair, but women having full rights + expecting males to practice Chivalry is grossly unfair. That's why it doesn't exist in the way it did before.

    It's all up to the couple and how they choose to balance the roles. You gotta give some to get some.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded WenEr View Post
    It's a two-way thing. My boyfriend still opens doors for me. It's more often as a gesture, since I usually just open the other door myself. But I appreciate him for the gesture and the fact that he thinks of doing so (especially if we have to walk through heavy doors that I have trouble opening myself). On the flip side, I peel shrimps for him (just did so this evening at dinner ha), since I'm faster and better at it.

    I personally like the fact that my boyfriend acts like a gentleman when the occasion calls for it. I don't mind the fact that I also spoil and indulge him at times. It's a two-way thing - if you want your man to be "chivalrous" and do nice things for you, then take the step and so some nice things for him too.
    Absolutely, it's a two-way thing. It kind of remind me of "transmutation", or the more familiar word - alchemy.
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    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

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    Senior Member jiang bao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    I want to talk about the act of being "nice" to girls. I want to hear it from the girl's perspective.

    For me (a guy), I do not want to do the small thing, I don't want to open the door for you (girls), I don't want to pull your seat, I don't want to peel shrimps for you to eat. Why? well.
    1) I'm looking to have fun eating/playing, and not having to worry what I have to do in order for you not to get upset.
    2) I'm not your butler.
    3) you are not disable.

    Alot of asian girls find it appauling that I'm not willing to do that crap. I saw some of the BFs do it, and it's just not for me. I hate to say it, but that's probably why I don't have a GF haha. In all seriousness, are those things expected? for me I'm not desperate enough to be at a girl's hand and feet just so I can have a GF, i'm better than that.
    It looks to me like you have been mad about not having a gf, or you wouldnít be posting these threads youíve posted lately. I donít know why you donít have one, but itís not because you wonít pull out a seat or hold a door.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiang bao View Post
    It looks to me like you have been mad about not having a gf, or you wouldnít be posting these threads youíve posted lately. I donít know why you donít have one, but itís not because you wonít pull out a seat or hold a door.

    i wouldn't say mad, because it's a stupid reason to be mad. Not having a gf is pretty normal to me, I'm an only child, you figure how much I hang out with people. And I CAN have one if I want to, it's not hard for me. I understand the game well, and I play it well when I want to.

    but that's not the topic. I just notice things and post on here for discussion, you're thinking too much.

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    Senior Member BearBearNweather's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warlock110 View Post
    I want to talk about the act of being "nice" to girls. I want to hear it from the girl's perspective.

    For me (a guy), I do not want to do the small thing, I don't want to open the door for you (girls), I don't want to pull your seat, I don't want to peel shrimps for you to eat.
    I don't see the need or reason to have my chair being pulled for me or peeling my shrimps. Opening the door is a sweet gesture but I don't see the need for that too. And opening the car door is ridiculous.

    However I do find it irritating when the man enters the lift first and doesn't press the open button and he's also the 1st person to step out of the lift. Worse, he doesn't offer to carry shopping bags (not ladies' shopping but say grocery) or when he does, he only takes the lightest, leaving the poor girl struggling with the heaviest.

    Have you seen male customers telling female sales assistants half their size to carry heavy products to the cashier counters while they happily followed empty-handed? I know they are customers and they have no intention to date those sales assistants but I don't think it will kill them to at least carry some themselves.

    I have seen guys carrying (not temporarily holding) their girlfriends'/wives' handbag in the streets, that's ugly.

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