Spreading the hate...

[Ken Cheng]

Is there any wonder that you 'don't know'?

If it involves more of me having to be a trained Sea World seal, I *don't* want to hear about it.

If I have to go down, I'm going to go down my way...on my own terms.

That's how they do it in the wuxia world after all, isn't it?

[Ken Cheng]

Once he realises not to focus on YG, but on where he wants to be, he can start moving forward again.

I don't know where I want to be in this world.

All the places I want to be...all the things I want to be, are not of this world.

Everything in this world seems hopelessly dull and uninspiring to me.

But the world I'd rather be part of doesn't exist.

[yittz]

This woe is me thing is depressing. You are not the only one in the world with problems. If your ego gets in the way of seeking help and recieving advice, how do you expect people to respond?


Edit: wuxia isn't going to change to reality, your mind does. You need professional help.

[Ren Wo Xing]

Just leave off. If he'd rather be miserable than swallow that ego, then let him be miserable.

[remember_Cedric]

What's your problem, Ken, really? I'm really lost.

Work? Overworked, underpaid (doesn't look like it)? Work people upsetted you (who doesn't??)? Family? So far as I see, you're someone in a line whereby you can make a difference in others' life. Do you expect something more thrilling in life or what?

You're born an earthling, and that's it! If you want to be something special, you can try to re-arrange or alter your DNA.

[Ken Cheng]

What's your problem, Ken, really? I'm really lost.

Work? Overworked, underpaid (doesn't look like it)? Work people upsetted you (who doesn't??)? Family? So far as I see, you're someone in a line whereby you can make a difference in others' life. Do you expect something more thrilling in life or what?

You're born an earthling, and that's it! If you want to be something special, you can try to re-arrange or alter your DNA.

I need somebody...ANYBODY...to tell me this:

It's OK if I'm not a wuxia hero because in this world, NOBODY is, and nobody needs to be.

Why can't I tell myself? Because I don't trust myself. I need to hear it from someone else. ANYBODY else.

[remember_Cedric]

I need somebody...ANYBODY...to tell me this:

It's OK if I'm not a wuxia hero because in this world, NOBODY is, and nobody needs to be.

Why can't I tell myself? Because I don't trust myself. I need to hear it from someone else. ANYBODY else.

Ken, the moment of truth:

It is absolutely fine if you are NOT a Wuxia hero because NOBODY is. Including Marvel or DC, they're just fiction of fictional characters. Even the moral lessons taught to us in Marvel tells us that the identity of a hero can be a burden.

Allow me to share this: We're all ordinary people, teachers, workers, or any profession of all levels, gifted an ability to turn on a small light to brighten up a dark room. Nobody needs to be a hero because we can make a difference in our small ways in others' life.

Trust me when I say, you are gifted the wisdom to make a difference in the lives of others by way of education, which is great; something you should be proud of.

P/s: Pardon me for saying more than I should, because I find the need to.

[Candide]

I am a wuxia hero and so are my mates. What are you talking about, cedric?

[Ken Cheng]

Ken, the moment of truth:

It is absolutely fine if you are NOT a Wuxia hero because NOBODY is. Including Marvel or DC, they're just fiction of fictional characters. Even the moral lessons taught to us in Marvel tells us that the identity of a hero can be a burden.

Allow me to share this: We're all ordinary people, teachers, workers, or any profession of all levels, gifted an ability to turn on a small light to brighten up a dark room. Nobody needs to be a hero because we can make a difference in our small ways in others' life.

Trust me when I say, you are gifted the wisdom to make a difference in the lives of others by way of education, which is great; something you should be proud of.

P/s: Pardon me for saying more than I should, because I find the need to.

Thank you. You don't know *how* badly I needed that.

You'd flip out if you were to know what set me off on the most recent two-day binge of rage and self-loathing. The underlying reasons you already know, but the specific circumstances that led to this week's outburst was...well, as usual, started from something seemingly trivial and insignificant, but can snowball fairly quickly into something big for me.

Which I guess is just a long, complicated way of asking everyone to be careful how you word things with me, because it can sometimes set off all the wrong responses.

[remember_Cedric]

I am a wuxia hero and so are my mates. What are you talking about, cedric?

Oh, Candide, come 'on! Don't add fuel into flames!

[remember_Cedric]

Thank you. You don't know *how* badly I needed that.

Well, I was just stating what is true.

You'd flip out if you were to know what set me off on the most recent two-day binge of rage and self-loathing. The underlying reasons you already know, but the specific circumstances that led to this week's outburst was...well, as usual, started from something seemingly trivial and insignificant, but can snowball fairly quickly into something big for me.

Which I guess is just a long, complicated way of asking everyone to be careful how you word things with me, because it can sometimes set off all the wrong responses.

As small as it can be, a fire can always turn into a big flame. Just like a minor cough, when not taken care of, can lead to major illnesses. And the same principle applies everywhere.

Just know that you have friends who care about your well-being in here. Some words from a few meant to spite you may come with the best of intention.

[Ren Wo Xing]

Oh, Candide, come 'on! Don't add fuel into flames!

What do you mean? I'm a daxia too. Just the other day, I launched a burping LDA attack that knocked over three people!

Which I guess is just a long, complicated way of asking everyone to be careful how you word things with me, because it can sometimes set off all the wrong responses.

Heh. Perhaps you should consider working on your 'wrong responses' rather than have 'everyone' else be on tiptoes around you. Cuz the latter aint happening.

[remember_Cedric]

What do you mean? I'm a daxia too. Just the other day, I launched a burping LDA attack that knocked over three people!

Ok, well done! And, in what ways are you regarded as dai hup? Meaning to say that, how did your burping LDA attack which knocked over three stooges had helped someone on the other hand, or who benefitted from your LDA?

[yittz]

Somehow that gave me an image of RWX practicing toad skill.

[Guo Xiang]

I need somebody...ANYBODY...to tell me this:

It's OK if I'm not a wuxia hero because in this world, NOBODY is, and nobody needs to be.

Why can't I tell myself? Because I don't trust myself. I need to hear it from someone else. ANYBODY else.

You should know that is meaningless to you. It does make you feel better, but what's next? You allow yourself to fall into the cesspit of despair again, and need a repeat of that reassurance. Then it starts over again, and again, and again.

When will it stop?

It doesn't stop by people telling you what you want to hear and by mothering you; in fact people in spcnet has mothered you a great too many times now but you never stop getting distressed. In the end it's all up to yourself because you are your only true obstacle to really getting out of all those BS.

Our greatest enemy is always ourselves. Remember that.

[Trien Chieu]

Ken, did you teach english oversea before?? if not, I think it would be a great opportunity for you if you can take sometimes to do that. When you put yourself in a completely different environment, it might help you. I think Guangdong china is an ideal place for you since you speak cantonese and people over there tend to look up to americans.

[PJ]

Come on Ken, you're not a child any more, but you're acting like one. What kind of grown up makes demands like "you all have to be nice to me, or I will be hurt"? What kind of adult takes a fictional character so seriously that it sucks the life out of him? Grow up.

[Ken Cheng]

Come on Ken, you're not a child any more, but you're acting like one. What kind of grown up makes demands like "you all have to be nice to me, or I will be hurt"? What kind of adult takes a fictional character so seriously that it sucks the life out of him? Grow up.

Not until I've settled a score I've needed to settle since 1985, when I was thirteen years old.

Until I settle this score, I can't live happily.

[kidd]

Not until I've settled a score I've needed to settle since 1985, when I was thirteen years old.

Until I settle this score, I can't live happily.

Go for counselling. I'm serious.

[Ken Cheng]

Go for counselling. I'm serious.

But the score would remain unsettled regardless.

This is the twenty-fifth year this has been twisting my guts. A quarter century of this.

This would be a good year to settle the score once and for all.

It started around April/May, 1985. That was the turning point.

This year, one way or another, the score must be settled, forever.