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Thread: Spreading the hate...

  1. #81
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    Not until I've settled a score I've needed to settle since 1985, when I was thirteen years old.

    Until I settle this score, I can't live happily.
    What? Is it the Diana issue again? If it is, just go talk to her if that's what it takes. If you can't do that, just suck it up and move on for goodness sake.

    You are seriously doing yourself no favour. You need help, and you need to accept that you need help and accept the help that comes along.
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  2. #82
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    But the score would remain unsettled regardless.

    This is the twenty-fifth year this has been twisting my guts. A quarter century of this.

    This would be a good year to settle the score once and for all.

    It started around April/May, 1985. That was the turning point.

    This year, one way or another, the score must be settled, forever.
    Pray tell, how do you plan to settle the score? Ask you cousin sisters to tell you that you are better than YG?
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  3. #83
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Pray tell, how do you plan to settle the score? Ask you cousin sisters to tell you that you are better than YG?
    I *do* need to talk to them about this, one way or another.

    It should end as it began.

  4. #84
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    Not until I've settled a score I've needed to settle since 1985, when I was thirteen years old.
    OK. What kind of settlement?
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  5. #85
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    OK. What kind of settlement?
    I don't know exactly what form it will take yet. What I know I want is for my cousins to know the full extent their careless actions twenty-five years ago have had on me. They've never known. They should know. They must know.

    Also, I must know why they did that to me, and that they acknowledge it was the wrong thing to do.

    Then, maybe then, I'll find some peace.

  6. #86
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Ken, I do hope you realize that very many people here care about you. It is evident to me that many people from SPCNET wish you can come out of this well. I hope you can appreciate that.
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  7. #87
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    I don't know exactly what form it will take yet. What I know I want is for my cousins to know the full extent their careless actions twenty-five years ago have had on me. They've never known. They should know. They must know.

    Also, I must know why they did that to me, and that they acknowledge it was the wrong thing to do.

    Then, maybe then, I'll find some peace.
    So do you see your cousins as villains?
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  8. #88
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    Ken, I do hope you realize that very many people here care about you. It is evident to me that many people from SPCNET wish you can come out of this well. I hope you can appreciate that.
    I do, Pee Jay. Just understand that this isn't easy for me at all because it's been the central problem in my life since long, long before SPCNET even existed. Nobody here noticed it during my first seven years here because I kept it deeply hidden, but things that happened to me two years ago blew the shields wide open. It was like a cancer that had been in remission for twenty years suddenly metastatizing rapidly.

    When the cancer was in remission, I lived as if it were no longer inside me, but I was wrong.

  9. #89
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    I'm going to Seattle, Washington this late spring/early summer. I'm going to meet up with my cousins, and I'm going to get this settled once and for all.

  10. #90
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    So do you see your cousins as villains?
    They are family, and I care about them.

    But there's no denying the harm they inadvertently caused me all those years ago.

    They need to know.

  11. #91
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    I'm going to Seattle, Washington this late spring/early summer. I'm going to meet up with my cousins, and I'm going to get this settled once and for all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    They are family, and I care about them.

    But there's no denying the harm they inadvertently caused me all those years ago.

    They need to know.
    Best of luck, Ken. Hope it all works out for you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by athlee View Post
    DZC - "Your wife and I, we are old friends."

  12. #92
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    They are family, and I care about them.

    But there's no denying the harm they inadvertently caused me all those years ago.

    They need to know.
    I can understand you want them to know.

    How do you plan to tell them? Tempted as you might be, I hope you don't start the conversation with an accusation such as "25 years ago, you did something horrible which caused me to suffer for the next 2 decades."
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  13. #93
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    I can understand you want them to know.

    How do you plan to tell them? Tempted as you might be, I hope you don't start the conversation with an accusation such as "25 years ago, you did something horrible which caused me to suffer for the next 2 decades."
    As unpleasant as it might be, I might need to: they need to hear it straight. I really can't sugarcoat it.

  14. #94
    Senior Member yittz's Avatar
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    I forgot what the cousins did. But they were young too right? I can imagine them being slightly confused.
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  15. #95
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yittz View Post
    I forgot what the cousins did. But they were young too right? I can imagine them being slightly confused.
    One of them is six months younger than me. Another is nearly one year younger. Two more are about six years younger.

    They're not bad people, really. I actually love them very much.

    But the things they did, even if only out of childish ignorance, caused very deep wounds that compounded themselves through subsequent events not directly related to them during the next twenty-five years, particularly in things (that I've already discussed here in the past) during the period between 1985-1989, and again during 2008.

  16. #96
    Senior Member PJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    As unpleasant as it might be, I might need to: they need to hear it straight. I really can't sugarcoat it.
    It's good to let them know, and you do not need to sugarcoat it. However, the sequence of what you say might make a difference. Try to start off with facts ("do you remember 25 years ago, you [did this]..." After you share the facts, move on to share your feelings. That way they can make the important connection between what they did and what it meant to you, which is what you want them to understand.
    忽见柳荫下两个小孩子在哀哀痛哭,瞧模样正是武敦儒、武修文兄弟。郭芙大声叫道:「喂,你们在干甚麽?」武 修文回头见是郭芙,哭道:「我们在哭,你不见麽?」

  17. #97
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJ View Post
    Ken, I do hope you realize that very many people here care about you. It is evident to me that many people from SPCNET wish you can come out of this well. I hope you can appreciate that.
    I concur!

    Even if words came about as disses or teases, they came from a moment of annoyance yet out of the best of intention.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    I'm going to Seattle, Washington this late spring/early summer. I'm going to meet up with my cousins, and I'm going to get this settled once and for all.
    Ken, what if they laughed their heads off when you bring this up to them and demands a settlement? I mean, maybe they didn't mean what they say back then. You know kids....
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  18. #98
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Wish you the best in settling the score. Hope you will be truly free after you come back.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  19. #99
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    i dont hate easily, mildly annoyed and it doesnt even last over 24hrs. but im capable of flying into a rage (used to be distructive but now things are better) and i usually felt very happy about it.

    its like, you feel so relieved to vent your anger on someone - especially when he or she doesnt truly deserve it, they got soooo upset over it its almost funny.

    i repented, or trying very hard not to be amused by others misfortunes.
    o wilku mowa...♪

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  20. #100
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Now, if you don't mind telling, what exactly did your cousins do?
    I've been through my fair share of very negative peer interactions when I was younger, and it would take something very serious for it to leave a scar on me the way how this incident is doing to you.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

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