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Thread: Teacher/Student Romantic Relationships

  1. #21
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Trinie,

    I did not say its wrong, I personally find it distracting, and best avoided. However again I said its case-by-case basis, it doesnt mean I condemn, only I think, if given a choice, I will avoid this kind of scenario. Especially Teacher-student or Boss-subordinate scenario. Sure, I seen many good examples, but there are way alot more bad ones for every one good union. I guess it might be a matter of what I'm exposed to.

  2. #22
    Senior Member goodrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    Trinie,

    I did not say its wrong, I personally find it distracting, and best avoided. However again I said its case-by-case basis, it doesnt mean I condemn, only I think, if given a choice, I will avoid this kind of scenario. Especially Teacher-student or Boss-subordinate scenario. Sure, I seen many good examples, but there are way alot more bad ones for every one good union. I guess it might be a matter of what I'm exposed to.
    Just curious .... what exactly is distracting about classmates dating or liking each other romantically?

  3. #23
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodrick View Post
    Just curious .... what exactly is distracting about classmates dating or liking each other romantically?
    What can I say? If you don't think it's distracting, no matter what I say you're still remain curious, because you cannot feel it. It's like asking, what's so sweet about honey? I don't find it sweet.

  4. #24
    Senior Member goodrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    What can I say? If you don't think it's distracting, no matter what I say you're still remain curious, because you cannot feel it. It's like asking, what's so sweet about honey? I don't find it sweet.
    So you are basically saying that you feel a certain way about romantic relationships between classmates (i.e. you find it distracting), but you cannot really explain why. Is that a correct statement??

    Also, regarding the honey analogy that you gave ..... LOL ... You just might have used a very bad analogy to get your point across. I mean cmon, in all seriousness, if a person does not find honey sweet, then there is definitely something wrong with his taste buds. So extending this thought, maybe if you feel wrong about something, but you can't really effectively explain why you find it wrong, then maybe, just maybe, there is nothing wrong with it in the first place! Just a thought...
    Last edited by goodrick; 01-09-10 at 02:59 AM.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodrick View Post
    So you are basically saying that you feel a certain way about romantic relationships between classmates (i.e. you find it distracting), but you cannot really explain why. Is that a correct statement??

    Also, regarding the honey analogy that you gave ..... LOL ... You just might have used a very bad analogy to get your point across. I mean cmon, in all seriousness, if a person does not find honey sweet, then there is definitely something wrong with his taste buds. So extending this thought, maybe if you feel wrong about something, but you can't really effectively explain why you find it wrong, then maybe, just maybe, there is nothing wrong with it in the first place! Just a thought...
    Each person has his personal preference and tolerance, including taste. What is spicy/salty/bitter to some might not be spicy/salty/bitter to others... so which side's taste buds have something wrong? Put that to honey and it's the same logic too; and there's nothing wrong with their taste buds. Just a matter of preference.

    Likewise, some people thinks/feels romantic relationships between students can be distracting... while some may not. Romance can be a form of distraction from schoolwork and once again, some students can handle it while some simply cannot and their grades drop. For those who get affected, is this not a distraction from their schoolwork?
    Last edited by Guo Xiang; 01-09-10 at 07:12 AM.
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  6. #26
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodrick View Post
    So you are basically saying that you feel a certain way about romantic relationships between classmates (i.e. you find it distracting), but you cannot really explain why. Is that a correct statement??

    Also, regarding the honey analogy that you gave ..... LOL ... You just might have used a very bad analogy to get your point across. I mean cmon, in all seriousness, if a person does not find honey sweet, then there is definitely something wrong with his taste buds. So extending this thought, maybe if you feel wrong about something, but you can't really effectively explain why you find it wrong, then maybe, just maybe, there is nothing wrong with it in the first place! Just a thought...
    I used the honey analogy PRECISELY because most people will find it sweet, just like I find it really strange that you cannot understand the possible distractions in it.

    So why am I not allowed to have my own preferences and opinions, it's like, if I don't share your view I'm WRONG. Isn't that what you're implying by going all 'fired' up? You think there's nothing wrong, that's your view, but comes around some guy says erm I think its not recommended, you sounded 'upset' and drill that fellow.

    I maintain my opinion, and I really think it's distracting. We go to school to study, if I like someone in my class, I'll probably spend half my time observing that person instead of paying attention to the class. If the object of my desire is not within visual range, at least I won't be distracted. Same goes with the teacher. In working environment, it's similar too. And MOST people (at least those I know) do react a little differently when their significant other is present or not. That poses a distraction.

    SO whilst its not an ideal situation, I have already said, "case-by-case" basis. There is no generalisation to say if something is bad or good. Most of the time, students who dated their classmates get distracted, and grades suffered. When they break up, they still get distracted because their ex is swarming around them, even if they dont want to see that person, that person is there, cos they are classmates, colleagues etc.

    Now, I apologized that I did not elaborate in my previous post because it really seemed absurbed that the obvious isn't obvious, just like, since when was honey not sweet?

  7. #27
    Senior Member goodrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    So why am I not allowed to have my own preferences and opinions, it's like, if I don't share your view I'm WRONG.
    Haha. Now you are making stuff up and putting words in my mouth. I never said or implied that you are not entitled to your own opinion and preferences. I just wanted to understand WHY you felt a certain way and your response for so long was that you felt strongly about something, but you couldn't really effectively explain why just until your most recent post where you dived a little bit into the WHY portion of why you found romantic relationships between classmates distracting. I was just curious, thats all. But I never ever implied that you are not entitled to your own view. Those are your words, not mine. Ofcourse you are entitled to your views, we all are!
    Last edited by goodrick; 01-09-10 at 02:38 PM.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodrick View Post
    Haha. Now you are making stuff up and putting words in my mouth. I never said or implied that you are not entitled to your own opinion and preferences. I just wanted to understand WHY you felt a certain way and your response for so long was that you felt strongly about something, but you couldn't really effectively explain why just until your most recent post where you dived a little bit into the WHY portion of why you found romantic relationships between classmates distracting. I was just curious, thats all. But I never ever implied that you are not entitled to your own view. Those are your words, not mine. Ofcourse you are entitled to your views, we all are!
    maybe it's because you said this: maybe if you feel wrong about something, but you can't really effectively explain why you find it wrong, then maybe, just maybe, there is nothing wrong with it in the first place!

    i get the impression that unless i give you a lengthy explanation, i lost the right to keep my personal view, until proven 'right'. putting words into anybody's mouth isn't something i invented; whenever someone disagrees with me, they also have a tendency to insist i meant something that i never said. I reckon that's almost inavoidable, because when humans do not arrive at the same conclusion, they almost always read another's opinion through tinted glass.

    i guess i must appologize for my earlier sarcasm, because i genuinely think someone askin such a question either having the intention of 'intentionally attacking me' or seriously but unusually lack the possession of common sense; i tend not to believe humans could be so un-informed.
    Last edited by Lucre; 01-09-10 at 08:38 PM.

  9. #29
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodrick
    Just curious .... what exactly is distracting about classmates dating or liking each other romantically?
    This actually appear to me as a plain question, especially it began with a "Just curious". So, I don't know if it contained sarcasm.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    whenever someone disagrees with me, they also have a tendency to insist i meant something that i never said. I reckon that's almost inavoidable, because when humans do not arrive at the same conclusion, they almost always read another's opinion through tinted glass.
    I think misconception can be avoided if people would try to be less smart alecky and receive a question as a question.

    i guess i must appologize for my earlier sarcasm, because i genuinely think someone askin such a question either having the intention of 'intentionally attacking me' or seriously but unusually lack the possession of common sense; i tend not to believe humans could be so un-informed.
    Take it easy. People are exposed to different part of this world. What seem a common sense to you, may not be received by another as common sense. Likewise when vice versa. In fact, misuse of words like "common sense" could hurt another if they genuinely lack of that part of knowledge.

    Sometimes, people question another too much, yet spent too little time questioning themselves. Just my 2 cents.
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  10. #30
    Senior Member goodrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    maybe it's because you said this: maybe if you feel wrong about something, but you can't really effectively explain why you find it wrong, then maybe, just maybe, there is nothing wrong with it in the first place!
    Do you see the several maybe's that I put in my post? I was just conveying a possibility that if you feel wrong about something but just cannot figure out why, then there maybe a possibility that there may not be anything wrong with it in the first place. Now please praytell how is that attacking you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    i get the impression that unless i give you a lengthy explanation, i lost the right to keep my personal view, until proven 'right'
    I cannot control the way others think, so if you perceived my posts as me trying to tell you that you dont have the right to keep your own personal views, then you have been seriously mislead by your way of thinking.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    i genuinely think someone askin such a question either having the intention of 'intentionally attacking me' or seriously but unusually lack the possession of common sense;
    I know for sure in my heart that I was not trying to attack you in anyway, shape or form. But I do know now confirmed by these particular comments from you that you are definitely attacking me here.
    Last edited by goodrick; 01-10-10 at 01:35 AM.

  11. #31
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodrick View Post
    Do you see the several maybe's that I put in my post? I was just conveying a possibility that if you feel wrong about something but just cannot figure out why, then there maybe a possibility that there may not be anything wrong with it in the first place. Now please praytell how is that attacking you?


    I cannot control the way others think, so if you perceived my posts as me trying to tell you that you dont have the right to keep your own personal views, then you have been seriously mislead by your way of thinking.


    I know for sure in my heart that I was not trying to attack you in anyway, shape or form. But I do know now confirmed by these particular comments from you that you are definitely attacking me here.
    most probably, my pride and ego blinded me. sorry if i jumped the gun on you.

  12. #32
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    Take it easy. People are exposed to different part of this world. What seem a common sense to you, may not be received by another as common sense. Likewise when vice versa. In fact, misuse of words like "common sense" could hurt another if they genuinely lack of that part of knowledge.

    Sometimes, people question another too much, yet spent too little time questioning themselves. Just my 2 cents.
    I'm glad you could see it in this manner. I supposed it helps, because you're not 'personally involved', for me, my instantaneous assumption was that someone was being sarcastic by asking an obvious question.

    Remember how it was for you when you 'read between the lines' and assumed he or she meant something more? Whilst if I look at it, there was nothing vile about the statement. I guess it works the same way. In this instance, my pride and ego fuelled me, and I was prone to respond in a nasty manner, fuelled by most possibly 'misinformed' presumptions.

    As a human, I consistently make mistakes, and I ask those I have offended, to forgive me.

    Your post served as a reminder for me actually, thanks.

  13. #33
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    I'm glad you could see it in this manner. I supposed it helps, because you're not 'personally involved', for me, my instantaneous assumption was that someone was being sarcastic by asking an obvious question.

    Remember how it was for you when you 'read between the lines' and assumed he or she meant something more? Whilst if I look at it, there was nothing vile about the statement. I guess it works the same way. In this instance, my pride and ego fuelled me, and I was prone to respond in a nasty manner, fuelled by most possibly 'misinformed' presumptions.

    As a human, I consistently make mistakes, and I ask those I have offended, to forgive me.
    I'm glad it made sense to you. Reflection, forgiveness (giving and receiving), reminders, or anything to that effect are essentials to life for everyone. The willingness to open up runs parallel to that.

    Yes, we all do. Remember how devil would mess with our heads given every opportunity.

    Your post served as a reminder for me actually, thanks.
    And, I'm thankful when you did the same for me.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  14. #34
    Senior Member Sourplum's Avatar
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    We go to school to study, if I like someone in my class, I'll probably spend half my time observing that person instead of paying attention to the class. If the object of my desire is not within visual range, at least I won't be distracted. Same goes with the teacher. In working environment, it's similar too. And MOST people (at least those I know) do react a little differently when their significant other is present or not. That poses a distraction.
    I would argue that having a partner, regardless of that being your classmate, teacher or someone outside, in that sense, is distracting. Even if the person is not present in the classroom, we still think about them. I know I would.

  15. #35
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    A real life case here, fresh out of oven.

    http://www.asiaone.com/News/Educatio...07-190352.html
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