Ever came across a decision that could potentially change your life forever?

[Suzaku]

I don't know Trinie's complete situation, but my take is that if moving abroad is something that she truly wants to do - what is the harm. She seems to be in a situation where she has less responsibility or duty.

She doesn't have a spouse, children to take care of, elderly parents to watch over, or a stable relationship. Further, at this stage in her life - what does she have to lose? She is not exactly ending a lucrative career or great relationship to follow a dream.

As she proceeds in life, she will have a relationship, a family, and a career, all of which will make it harder to just go and live abroad for months or years at a time. And the worst case scenario is that life abroad isn't as glamorous or as exciting and she just packs up her bag and go back home to find a job.

Assuming that she has the financial ability to finance the trip abroad at this time - I really don't see the harm in taking trying out the dream.

Life abroad isn't really so hard that a person cannot survive it. You do need to take some common sense precautions and preferably choose a country where you have some support system (friends, aunts, uncles, other distant relatives).

I, honestly, feel that Trinie is trying to escape her current situation rather than a person who truly wants to start a career abroad. But if I were her, at the end of the day - I rather be saying to myself, "I really screwed up that decision," rather than, "I wish I had done that when I was 30."

Further, she is not exactly sacrificing anything, either relationship or career wise, to go abroad.

[Lucre]

I don't know Trinie's complete situation, but my take is that if moving abroad is something that she truly wants to do - what is the harm. She seems to be in a situation where she has less responsibility or duty.

She doesn't have a spouse, children to take care of, elderly parents to watch over, or a stable relationship. Further, at this stage in her life - what does she have to lose? She is not exactly ending a lucrative career or great relationship to follow a dream.

As she proceeds in life, she will have a relationship, a family, and a career, all of which will make it harder to just go and live abroad for months or years at a time. And the worst case scenario is that life abroad isn't as glamorous or as exciting and she just packs up her bag and go back home to find a job.

Assuming that she has the financial ability to finance the trip abroad at this time - I really don't see the harm in taking trying out the dream.

Life abroad isn't really so hard that a person cannot survive it. You do need to take some common sense precautions and preferably choose a country where you have some support system (friends, aunts, uncles, other distant relatives).

I, honestly, feel that Trinie is trying to escape her current situation rather than a person who truly wants to start a career abroad. But if I were her, at the end of the day - I rather be saying to myself, "I really screwed up that decision," rather than, "I wish I had done that when I was 30."

Further, she is not exactly sacrificing anything, either relationship or career wise, to go abroad.

Although life abroad isnt really so hard that a person cannot survive it, it can be quite difficult especially if one has never done so before. Depending on individual's dependency, it could be so stressful that it ended up having psychological effects on individual. With that said, I have known people who will just grab their stuff and take a one way ticket flight to somewhere and stay there. There are adventurous people who can cope with it.

I guess those who voiced concerns are obviously not concerned about the 'things she might lose' but rather, whether she is mentally ready for such a move. I would say she could just do it, but if she is one of those who can just do it, she would have already done so, instead of pondering over here ~ and still haven't done anything.

[darkcser]

btw: to darkcser: Kudos for all the good suggestions and offers!

Thanks, just trying to offset my karma from playing GTA IV

Life abroad isn't really so hard that a person cannot survive it. You do need to take some common sense precautions and preferably choose a country where you have some support system (friends, aunts, uncles, other distant relatives).

The language barrier and the foreigner status can be pretty daunting. If you have problems networking in your own language and country, imagine doing that elsewhere. Paperwork for foreigners can also be a hassle. I'd imagine the U.S. has relatively clear paperwork but after filling out numerous forms for visitor visas, affidavits of support, visa extensions, petitions for naturalization, etc. -I get a headache just thinking about it.

[KeongJai]

I think I've just made one.
I've applied for a transfer to the otherside of the country.
If I'm accepted, I'll be leaving everyone I know behind and possibly losing the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
But I'll be gaining experience I'll probably not get here for another 2 years.

Another one of the head vs. heart decisions, but I always choose head and always regret it with my heart.

[Trinie]

I think Trinie should start working local first. She's so sheltered I am concerned of her chances of surviving overseas. Seriously.

I'm shocked she's not been able to make full use of her degrees... I would die to get them. >_>

Trinie you need a job. That's the only way you can continue growing as a person. This is awful but I think your family's holding you (and your growth) back and that's not healthy.

Are you going to eat off their hands forever? What if one day they just cut you off and by then you still have no working or social experience? No financial foundation of your own too? You can't depend on others forever, too. You are 31, and it's time for you to stand on your own feet instead of still drinking milk from a milk bottle in your parents' arms. Your family need to realise that too. You are simply not a baby anymore so they can't continue treating you like one, and they have to let go of you.

Also, if you have not held a job for years and years, employers will be wondering about that. Wondering why and if there's anything wrong with you that's stopping you from having a job all this time.

When applying for jobs, to heck with that experience requirement. Just spam your resume. How would you know they would definitely not call you? The only reason why they would not be calling at all is because you gave up without even trying and they never got to see your resume at all.

Did I tell you that I did all of that already?? I put my resume up everywhere online and did everything and not one person contacted me.... Of course, I know and realize that I am a grown woman now and can't depend on my family forever. It is my mom and my family(some of them anyways) that does not realize that. But luckily, most of my brothers realize that and are supporting me.

Of course, I know that I need a job since I worked hard all of those years for my bachelors and master's degree. I realize and know that more than anyone. Plus, I don't want to stay here because my family will still be around. That is another reason why I want to go overseas. I can be more independent, free and grow as well as have a job in my field.

I am actually not as shelthered as you think... I am really independent in many other ways since honestly, my family doesn't really take care of me. I take care of them...

[Trinie]

I don't know Trinie's complete situation, but my take is that if moving abroad is something that she truly wants to do - what is the harm. She seems to be in a situation where she has less responsibility or duty.

She doesn't have a spouse, children to take care of, elderly parents to watch over, or a stable relationship. Further, at this stage in her life - what does she have to lose? She is not exactly ending a lucrative career or great relationship to follow a dream.

As she proceeds in life, she will have a relationship, a family, and a career, all of which will make it harder to just go and live abroad for months or years at a time. And the worst case scenario is that life abroad isn't as glamorous or as exciting and she just packs up her bag and go back home to find a job.

Assuming that she has the financial ability to finance the trip abroad at this time - I really don't see the harm in taking trying out the dream.

Life abroad isn't really so hard that a person cannot survive it. You do need to take some common sense precautions and preferably choose a country where you have some support system (friends, aunts, uncles, other distant relatives).

I, honestly, feel that Trinie is trying to escape her current situation rather than a person who truly wants to start a career abroad. But if I were her, at the end of the day - I rather be saying to myself, "I really screwed up that decision," rather than, "I wish I had done that when I was 30."

Further, she is not exactly sacrificing anything, either relationship or career wise, to go abroad.

Sorry, but you are SO wrong. I am not trying to escape my current situation ok. Honestly, I do need to go overseas since my field is TESOL which is teaching English to speakers of other languages so of course going overseas fits perfectly into that. That is NOT true, I have my mom that I always take care of and worry about. I also had to hold back on my own stuff because my mom just had cataract surgery on both of her eyes so I had to be there to take care of her. Career is important but I think being filial has to come first. I only have one parent left so I have to try to take care of her the best that I can or else I will regret it later. Even though I have 7 brothers as well, but they don't take care of her as well as they should so I always worry about her. But I do admit that she uses that to blackmail me so that I don't leave her behind. My mom is getting better and is starting to let go more...It is my life so I know better than anyone else does...

[Trinie]

Where did you get this idea from?


How did they mistreat you? How come you hate both tutoring and volunteering experiences? Do you really like teaching?

Well I am not really sure but that is what I have heard and I have applied to an Asian company and they did not even consider me at all. I then went through the profiles of many other applicants and they were all "white looking" so were all considered over me who looks "asian".

Well I would not say that I hate tutoring, but some of them just took advantage of me too much. There were many times that they would call me EVERYDAY and gosh was that annoying.... One time, this one girl played me and it really pissed me off. She played me several times too and I did not get paid one cent. Of course I enjoy and like teaching but not those volunteering experiences that I had in the past.... Anyways, thanks for your advice and all... It is my life so I know what I need to do...

[Trinie]

Seriously, it's your life. You do what you want with it, tell your family to back off. The problem is you don't gain respect from your relatives, because in Asian society being unemployed is a no no. No matter what you do, they going to question it and possibly ridicule it.

Like Suzaku said, you need to set goals, and have steps planned towards achieving them. Weigh up the pros and cons of each decision along the way. If OE is worth it, go for it. Stop worrying about whether you will get paid as much as white folks, at least you are getting paid and gain some sort of experience. Just make sure you have things organised before going. The last thing you need is feeling lost in a foreign country with no support.

The longer you wait doing nothing, the harder it is going into the workforce. Seriously, not doing part time work is a bad decision. There are always jobs for new graduates, you just need to put yourself ahead of the pack by showing you have time for part time work, volunteer work and extracurriculars. Surely a masters mean something too.

And don't waste your money on fortune tellers. They don't know jack shit about you. It really shows how lost you are if you need them.

Totally agree with you and I think you have given me the best advice so far. Of course, I know not to be lost in a foreign country with no support. I am not that bright, but I know better than that....

[KeongJai]

I've withdrawn my application. I'm going with heart this time. I realised I'd regret it more if I left and lost what I have here than the potential gains I'd have there.