LOL - not a gentleman's game - the bigger scoundrel wins, the Luocha soldiers may be criminals but they just met one of the international greats. Really its easy equation: money + food + wine >>>>> head chopped off due to vague loyalty to the government
Hope you all had a good year, merry christmas
(thanks for a good year on the wuxia forums foxs)
Tweety, I knew it was one of you ladies. Smurf, I agree with your last sentence: their allegiance was not necessarily to their country. Crazee, the bigger the organization, the worse usually the meeting is. Anh, you are welcome. Ali, thank you. Merry Christmas to y'all.
My apology for the delay. We are moving ... Some of you may remember that I moved to different state summer of last year, and so far we lived in a rental house. Finally we are able to get a house here. I am busy and did not have much time to translate, but part of the problem was no internet connection. Anyway, I am hoping to post another update on or before Christmas (US time, might be the day after Christmas in New Zealand and Asia).
A note about this Russian episode: unless I can find reference on the internet, I am using the original pinyin spelling. I do not want to use the names in the official translation. Please bear with me.
By this time the Governor-general Galitzine had been summoned by Princess Sophia back to Moscow to hold higher office. The general in command of Yakesa troops was called Tu’erbuqing (Alexi Tolbusin). Small groups of Luocha troops went out to plunder, they went missing for several days running. Tolbusin sent out people to investigate, but these people also never came back. He felt something was not right, thereupon he picked half of the cavalry in the city, totaling more than two thousand men and horses, and personally led them out of the city to investigate.
Along the way Tolbusin did not see any sign of the enemy; whenever he saw Chinese people’s farmhouse or residence, he ordered his men to burn it down, and killed the people, ordinary men and women. After traveling for more than twenty li, suddenly he heard hoof beats, a group of cavalry was charging their way. Tolbusin shouted his order to have his troops scattered. He saw a group of Qing cavalry galloped toward them, approximately five hundred men, shooting them with arrows. Tolbusin laughed aloud and said, “Chinese barbarians only know how to release arrows, how can the fight our Luocha Country’s formidable firearms?” He shouted his order, his men fired, a dozen or so Qing troops fell down from their horses.
The Qing troops turned their horses around and galloped away to the south. Tolbusin ordered his men to pursue. The horses this Qing cavalry rode were all handpicked fine horses, they ran very fast, for a short while the Luocha troops were unable to catch up.
After pursuing for seven or eight li, they saw a yellow dragon banner standing by the wooded area ahead of them, when the Luocha troops came closer, they saw seven, eight military tents belonging to the Qing troops. The Luocha troops rained their bullets to the tents, several dozen Qing troops ran out of the tents, while shooting arrows at the Luocha troops, and then mounted their horses and galloped southward.
The Luocha troops on the front rushed into the tents, they saw the Qing troops had run away completely. Tolbusin dismounted his horse and entered the tent. He saw the wine, meat and vegetable dishes on the table were still steaming hot, while gold and silver ingots, as well as brocade clothes, pearls and jewels were scattered around on the ground. Tolbusin was greatly delighted. “The Chinese barbarian great general is running away in a hurry, he did not even have time to carry all these gold and silver. Everybody, let’s get on our horses and run after them! Whoever catches this barbarian great general will be rewarded heavily; the barbarian great general must be carrying a lot of gold and silver, we will seize everything away!”
When the soldiers saw gold, silver, pearls and jewels, they just like ‘you grabbed I took’; some even picked up the wine and meat from the table and ate it. Hearing their commander’s order, they cheered and rushed out of the tent, jumped onto their horses, and galloped toward the southeast, following the hoofprints. Along the way they saw gold ingots, silver ingots, swords and spears, bow and arrows scattered on the ground by the road. They all said that Chinese troops saw the arrival of Luocha troops, they were scared and pissed in their pants in terror, that they even threw their weapons away.
After pursuing for a while, they saw several pairs of boots and several red-tasseled hats. Tolbusin called out, “Chinese barbarians’ marshal changed his clothes to run for his life; most probably he disguised himself as a lowly soldier. We must not let them hide him.”
His attendant said, “General can prophesy with supernatural accuracy; it must be so.”
Tolbusin ordered his men to pick up the boots and hat; he said, “When we catch the Chinese barbarians, it doesn’t matter if he is a lowly soldier or a gunman, tell them to try the hat, clothes and boots. If everything fits, most likely he is the great general.” Again his subordinates chorused their praise, saying that the General was intelligent and wise, that no one could ever match him.
After pursuing several more li, they attacked and seized another Qing army’s tent. Scattered on the ground, they saw not only gold, silver and weapons, but also a lot of red and green, bright colored women’s clothing. They even found rouge, face powder and other cosmetics, handkerchief, hairpins, and other women’s accessories. The soldiers’ sexual desire was aroused; they all cried out, “Quickly pursue, quickly pursue! Chinese barbarians brought some women.”
Pursuing this way, they successively seized seven more army tents before from ahead of them they heard faint noise of people shouting and screaming. Tolbusin halted his mount and took out his telescope to look. He saw several li ahead a group of Chinese soldiers were running for their lives; seemingly in great distress, their banner was in disarray, their formation in disorder. Tolbusin was greatly delighted, “We got them!” he shouted. Pulling out his saber, he waved it in the air several time while shouting, “Charge! Kill!” Leading his troops and generals, he swiftly charged forward.
Along the way they saw more than twenty Qing army’s horses fallen dead on the road. The soldiers and generals happily said, “The barbarians’ horses had no strength left to run!” Urgently spurring their horses on hot pursuit, they pursued farther and farther away.
They saw that the Qing troops had escaped via a narrow passageway in between two hills. Tolbusin pursued to the mouth of the road, and saw the dangerous terrain ahead. He was slightly startled. “If the enemy prepares an ambush here,” he thought, “It won’t be good.”
Suddenly he heard from the valley ahead someone shouting in Luocha language, “Chinese barbarians, you have surrendered. Very good, very good!” Another voice called out, “Ha ha, this time Chinese barbarians suffer disastrous defeat.” It was the voice of their own soldiers, no doubt about it.
Tolbusin was greatly delighted, his suspicion was gone, he spurred his horse into the valley. Behind him more than two thousand cavalry followed in. Tolbusin called out, “Which unit is in the front? Where are you?”
He only heard behind the mountain wall a dozen or so men responding in chorus, “We are here! Chinese barbarian soldiers have surrendered!”
“Marvelous!” Tolbusin called out. He was just about to pull his horse’s reins when suddenly he heard ‘bang, bang!’ from behind. Tolbusin was shocked; turning around, he saw the mouth of the valley was covered in smoke, fire flashed from the woods on the mountain walls on his left and right, volley after volley of firearms shot down. The Luocha officers and men screamed together. Tolbusin shouted, “Turn around, get out of the valley!”
He heard from the top of the mountain walls on both sides several thousand people shouted together, “Luocha troops, surrender, surrender!” Countless large rocks and logs of wood rolled down, in an instant the mountain path was blocked. The Luocha officers and men were crammed into a narrow mountain path, you push I shove, the people screamed the horses neighed, it was a total chaos.
From the top of the mountain the Qing troops looking down, arrows and bullets rained down continuously. Tolbusin groaned inwardly, he knew they had fallen into the enemy’s trick. Seeing the escape route was cut off, he had no choice but turn his horse again and shouted, “Everybody charge forward!”
They only rushed out for several zhang, suddenly they heard ‘Bang! Bang!’ loud explosions, cannon were fired at them, killing a dozen or so soldiers. Tolbusin was so scared that his soul flew to the outer sky; he had never anticipated that the Qing troops’ firearms were this sharp, unexpectedly they also had cannon on this rugged mountainous terrain. He jumped down his mount in panic and called out, “Abandon your horse! Focus our firepower, let’s charge out of the mountain road.”
One after another the Luocha troops dismounted from their horses, and crawled over the huge stones and logs blocking the entrance to the valley, while the team on the back opened fire at both sides of the mountain walls to provide cover for their comrades. Luocha troops’ firearms had greater firepower, the range was also farther, in the end they managed to kill not a few Qing soldiers. But the Qing troops’ cannon continuously bombarded them, the momentum was fierce.
Several hundred Luocha troops were just crawling on top of the rocks blocking the way when suddenly a loud explosion was heard, the earth under their feet exploded, some of the several hundred officers and men were thrown a dozen zhang into the air, some of them lost their heads or limbs, flesh and blood flying everywhere. Those who were fortunate and did not die hastily crawled back down.
Tolbusin saw there was no way out ahead and behind, he was completely helpless in this crisis. A very brave officer led several dozen troops in a suicide mission to climb the north side of the mountain wall, they attempted to kill the enemy to open up a way out. But the mountain wall was very steep, plus it was slippery, there was no place they could put their feet on; after climbing for several zhang, several dozen of them slipped and fell down, either dead or injured. The Qing troops on the hilltop threw rocks at them, wiping out the remaining several dozen troops. The officer leading the mission was thrown down, his skull was smashed and he immediately met a violent death.
All this time the Qing army’s cannon did not stop firing, the mountain walls were full of Luocha troops’ wretched scream. Knowing that in just a short while they would be completely wiped out, Tolbusin called out, “Stop fighting! Ceasefire, ceasefire!” But the explosions and the scream of the troops drowned his voice. The officers and men around him immediately cried out together, “Ceasefire, ceasefire!” Soon the rest of his troops also cried out.
The Qing troops halted the artillery barrage. Someone called out in Luocha language, “Throw down your guns, your sabers and swords, take all your clothes off!”
Tolbusin was angry, he shouted back, “Throw the weapons, don’t take off your clothes!”
Someone in Qing army called, “Throw down your guns, your sabers and swords, take all your clothes off! Helaxiao! Come out and drink wine. If you don’t take off your clothes, simanji!”
Tolbusin called out, “We won’t take off our clothes!”
As soon as those words went out of his mouth, there were explosions, the Qing cannon resume their firing. Some Luocha troops were afraid of death, at once they threw their weapons down and started to take off their clothes. Tolbusin raised his short gun and shot dead a soldier who was taking off his clothes. “Those who undress will be executed!” he shouted. But under the violent artillery barrage of the Qing army, nobody paid attention to their general’s strict order. More than a dozen soldiers, already stripped naked, clambered over the rocks blocking their way out.
The Qing army on both sides of the mountain walls clapped their hands and cheered. “Quickly undress!” they shouted. More and more Luocha troops took off their clothes and fled for their lives. Tolbusin repeatedly fired his short gun, killing two more soldiers, but how could he stop his men?
The Qing cannon temporarily stopped. From the top of the mountain wall someone called out, “Those who want to live, quickly take off all your clothes.”
By this time the Luocha officers and men had lost their will to fight; eight or nine out of ten people already took off their boots. Tolbusin heaved a deep sigh and put his gun toward his own temple, ready to kill himself. A lieutenant standing by his side wrestled the gun from his hand and said, “General, don’t! As long as the eagle still have its wings, it can still fly across the high mountain.” It was a Luocha idiom, equivalent to Chinese idiom ‘while the green hills last, there’ll be wood to burn’.
They heard someone in the Qing army called in Luocha language, “Take Tolbusin’s clothes off, and then come out together; otherwise the firing will commence.” These Luocha words were spoken with very articulate pronunciation, because it was actually a surrendering Luocha troop who was forced to say it.
Tolbusin was unable to restraint his anger, but he was aware that several troops under his command were staring at him, clearly they harbored malicious intentions toward him. He reached out to pull the saber hanging on his waist, but as soon as his fingers touched the hilt, a soldier pounced him from behind and wrapped his arms around Tolbusin’s neck. Five or six soldiers pounced together, they pinned him to the ground. Seven hands eight feet, immediately his clothes were stripped clean before he was carried out.
For each one of the Luocha troop who came out, there were two Qing troops who stepped forward to receive him, binding his hands behind his back, and leading him to walk several li toward a spacious an empty field. In this incident, out of more than two thousand Luocha officers and men, six or seven hundred were killed or were seriously injured, the remaining eighteen hundred soldiers or so had their hands tied behind their backs and were forced to stand in line. The autumn wind was blowing, they could not help shivering from the cold.
The Qing troops held Tolbusin in custody in front of the rows of Luocha troops. The Luocha troops were originally hanging their heads dejectedly, their hearts were alarmed, they were trembling in fear, but suddenly they saw this strict general, who was usually harsh and ruthless, was reduced to this kind of appearance, they were amused. When they saw their commanding general’s smooth naked buttocks, several dozen men could not help laughing. The laughter was getting louder and louder, not too long afterwards more than a thousand officers and men were laughing aloud.
Tolbusin was furious; he turned around and shouted, “Stand in attention! What are you laughing at?” He was not wearing even a thread on his body, yet he was still assuming this awe-inspiring demeanor; it was extremely comical. Although the officers and men were usually very afraid of him, how could they refrain from laughing this time?
In the middle of the laughter, suddenly the cannon were fired eight times, followed by the drums, as a squadron of Qing troops appeared from the back of the mountain, flying a yellow banner, and stood in formation on the east side. And then three more squadrons of Qing troops, flying red, white and blue, three colors banners, separately standing on the south, east and north, three directions, surrounding the Luocha officers and men in the middle. The Luocha officers and men saw all the Qing troops were carrying either long spears, broadswords, bow and arrows, or even firearms; their body armor and helmet were shining, their weapons looked sharp, while they themselves did not wear even a cun of thread. They were feeling even more intimidated by the enemy’s weapons, one by one they stopped laughing, while a great sense of dread started to overwhelm their hearts.
When the Qing troops were in formation, the cannon from the back of the mountain were fired again three times; and then accompanied by string and flute instruments two large banners appeared. The large banner on the left had these characters on it: ‘Fuyuan Great General Wei’; the large banner on the right had these characters on it: “Great Qing Duke of Luding Wei’. Several hundred soldiers with broadswords in their hands marched out around a young general riding on a horse. This general was wearing red cap on his head and a yellow magua on his body, his eyebrows were raised, his eyes gleaming with laughter, he looked extremely wily. He lightly shook a feather fan in his left hand, just like Zhuge Liang; in his right hand he solemnly held a broadsword, just like Guan Yunzhang. It was none other than Duke Wei Xiaobao.
Last edited by foxs; 12-25-12 at 11:17 AM.
You plant a garden and the flowers do not bloom, you poke a stick in the mud and it grows into a tree
" He lightly shook a leather fan in his left hand, just like Zhuge Liang; in his right hand he solemnly held a broadsword, just like Guan Yunzhang."
Hahahahaha.... outstanding!!! Thank you Foxs!!
Ha ha ha.... real unconventional treatment and the only way to strip their pride.....If done in the modern world....wow, hell will break loose.
Thanks Foxs.....wow, moving to you own castle ??? I heard houses in US are huge. Well, normally Malaysians cannot afford to buy decent homes as they are way above our ability....especially now. Sigh...anyway Congratulations, errr...will we be invited to warm up your new house ??? heh heh heh.
Merry Christmas to one and All especially to Foxs and his family.
Do take your time. I know how trying it can be to shift..... but nothing beats your own home....home sweet home.
Ho ho ho ho ho.....Merry Christmas.....
Ace, you are amazing, do you know that? How did you know? I searched everywhere and could not find any reference to these names. Muliono, Anh, you are welcome. Tweety, good catch. I don't know what I was thinking, letter 'f' and 'l' are not even close to each other, so I can't say it was a typo. Crazee, thanks. I don't know about 'huge' part. There are of course huge houses, but most that I know are 'regular' size. I mean, I've seen this size almost everywhere. Of course you are welcome. When you are here, just call me, you can always camp in our humble abode. Anyway, right now it is Christmas Eve here, so ... Merry Christmas to you all, may God bless us everyone.
EDIT: Sorry Ace. I guess I do need break ... Just like 'leather' and 'feather' above, I can't say it was a typo. Clearly my mind was someplace else ...
He dismounted from his horse, threw his head back, and let out three laughter, “Ha ha ha!” Just like Caocao in the opera. Too bad that there was no lackey by his side who would ask, “General, why are you laughing?”
By this time Tolbusin’s heart was filled with anger, yet he was unable to vent it out; in his rage he no longer cared about life or death. In a loud voice he cursed, “Chinese little demon, you use trick to capture me, you are not a hero. If you want to kill just kill, why do you humiliate me like this?”
Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “How did I humiliate you?”
Tolbusin angrily said, “I … I am like this, isn’t this … isn’t this humiliation?”
Wei Xiaobao laughed and asked, “Your pants, who took them off?”
Tolbusin was speechless; his clothes and pants were stripped by his own subordinates, obviously he could not blame it on this little demon general. In his fury, his face was bulging deep red; he rushed forward, wanted to stake his life in desperate fight against Wei Xiaobao.
Four personal guards by Wei Xiaobao’s side immediately rushed forward with long spears in their hands, the gleaming spearheads were pointing at him. Tolbusin had no choice but to stop; his hands involuntarily went down to cover his genitals. Seeing this, the officers and men of both sides roared in laughter.
Wei Xiaobao said, “Since you have surrendered, you will submit to the Great Qing, go to Beijing immediately to kowtow to the Chinese Emperor!”
“I won’t surrender,” Tolbusin said, “Chop me and make mincemeat out of me, but I won’t surrender.”
Raising his voice, Wei Xiaobao asked the rest of Luocha officers and men, “Are you all going to surrender or not?” The officers and men lowere their heads without saying anything.
Wei Xiaobao pointed to the white flag on the west side and called out, “Officers and soldiers who surrender, stand over there!” The officers and men stood still. Some of them wanted to surrender, but seeing nobody did, they did not dare to go first.
“Very well,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Since nobody surrenders, Cooks, come out!” From behind the group of personal guards ten cooks came out. Their upper body was bare, there were daggers and iron skewers in their hands; they stepped forward and bowed to take the order.
Wei Xiaobao said to Tolbusin, “Your Luocha Country has some kind of dish called ‘xiashunike’, I have enjoyed it in the past when I was in Moskow, the taste is really not bad. Right now I want to eat some!” Turning his head toward then ten cooks he said, “Make some ‘xiashunike’!”
The ten cooks replied, “We receive the order!”
Twenty soldiers pushed out ten iron stoves out, the charcoal in the stoves were glowing red. The Luocha officers and men looked at each other in astonishment; they wondered what trick this Chinese general was playing.
Wei Xiaobao waved his hand, immediately twenty of his personal guards pulled ten Luocha troops out. Wei Xiaobao shouted in Luocha language, “Cut their flesh, roast it into ‘xiashunike’!” ‘Xiashunike’ was beef on iron skewer, barbequed over open fire; it was Luocha Country’s most famous dish.
The ten cooks walked over to the ten Luocha troops with the gleaming dagger in their hands raised high and thrust it down. The ten Luocha troops let out a blood-curdling screech. The personal guards dragged the ten Luocha troops toward the back of the hill, the ground was drenched with blood. Shortly afterward the iron skewers in the ten cooks’ hand had pieces of meat on it, which they brought to the charcoal stove and roasted it over the fire.
The Luocha officers and men watched in horror. In the quietness that ensued, they heard the crackling noise of the fire, and the fat dripping onto the fire, making a ‘chi, chi’ noise. Wei Xiaobao called out, “Get ten more Luocha troops, make more ‘xiashunike’!”
Twenty personal guards immediately pulled more Luocha troops. From ten Luocha troops being pulled away, four immediately shouted, “Surrender, surrender!”
“Alright,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Those who surrender stand over there.” The personal guards dragged the surrendering troops toward the white flag. Immediately several guards served them wine and meat.
The personal guards dragged four more Luocha troops. These four soldiers saw that those who surrendered enjoyed wine and meat, while those who did not surrender had their body cut and roasted to be ‘xiashunike’. Although they did not see which body part was cut, they saw that the Qing troops’ gaze was always fixed on the lower part of their bodies, which was not a good sign at all. Heart alarmed, trembling in fear, they could not help but screamed, “Surrender!”
By this time the six soldiers who previously did not surrender had also lost their stubbornness; they all cried out, “Surrender!”
Since there were people who set the example by surrendering first, the rest of the soldiers did not dare to flaunt their bravery. Without waiting for the personal guards to pull them, some of them walked over to the white flag. In a short period of time, more than eighteen hundred Luocha officers and men had surrendered, leaving Tolbusin alone standing stiffly on his original position.
“Are you going to surrender or not?” Wei Xiaobao asked.
“I would rather die than surrender!” Tolbusin replied.
“Very well!” Wei Xiaobao said, “I’ll let you go back to Yakesa.” He ordered Hong Chao to lead five hundred troops to escort Tolbusin back to Yakesa.
Tolbusin thought that since he was so unyielding, this Qing army commander would definitely kill him; unexpectedly he was willing to set him free, he was caught by surprise. “Since you agree to let me go, please return my clothes!” he said.
Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “I can’t return your clothes.” Turning to Hong Chao he said, “Escort him to Yakesa’s city wall, relay my message that we are going to besiege the city. Lead this naked-butt Luocha general around the city wall three times before letting him go into the city.”
Hong Chao received the order. He led the Qing troops away, shouting and laughing, dragging the stark naked Tolbusin along.
Lin Xingzhu said, “May I ask Commander, since we already caught this Luocha general, why did we let him go? The subtlety of this matter, would Commander kindly enlighten me?”
Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Today we scored a great victory, do you know which stratagem we are using?”
“That is Commander’s divine strategy and amazing foresight,” Lin Xingzhu replied, “Subordinate can only prostrate myself in admiration.”
Wei Xiaobao shook his head, “It was not my divine strategy and amazing foresight,” he replied, “It was the scheme that His Majesty has personally arranged. His Majesty said that in the past Zhuge Liang captured Meng Huo seven times, the strategy worked very well; he instructed me to imitate him. Have you seen the play ‘Seven captures of Meng Huo’? If you haven’t, have you at least heard mister storyteller narrated this story? Zhuge Liang ordered the state of Wei to prolong the battle, they could only lose, must not win. After fifteen consecutive defeats, he let Meng Huo captured seven army camps, luring him to enter the Pan She [coiling snake] Valley, and then burned the rattan-shield troops. The stratagem we used today was exactly Zhuge Liang’s stratagem.”
All the generals voiced their admiration. Wei Xiaobao continued, “His Majesty is merciful, he said that Zhuge Liang was too cruel in burning the rattan-shield troops, there were too many lives lost. If the Luocha troops surrendered, their lives should be spared.”
Fu Dutong [deputy commander] Lang Tan said, “If not for Commander using that ‘xiashunike’ tactic by cutting ten Luocha troops’ flesh and roasted it so that they were scared that their souls flew to the outer sky, these Luocha troops are extremely valiant, I am afraid they would not be willing to surrender. This stratagem is actually superior to Zhuge Liang’s.”
Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Actually, the ten cooks have already prepared ten pieces of raw beef and hid them; they only made several cuts on the Luocha troops’ thigh, making them shouting and screaming loudly. The meat roasted on the stove is actually high-quality beef; as for what it tastes like, there is no harm in gentlemen having a taste.” The generals burst out in laughter. They instructed the cooks to present the ten pieces of beef ‘xiashunike’, cut it in pieces and put it into their mouths. Sure enough, it was sweet and tender, the skewered beef was delicious.
The generals asked again, “Since Commander has caught the enemy’s chief, yet you let him go, are you going to capture him seven times and release him seven times, so that he will not dare to rebel anymore?”
“It’s not that,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “Actually when I was still in Beijing I also asked His Majesty the same question. I said that His Majesty is a ‘raw bird fish soup’, he is magnanimous, would he want to copy Zhuge Liang, capturing the Luocha commander and release him seven times? ‘That’s not it,’ His Majesty said, ‘If we want to copy Zhuge Liang, we must use strategy that is alive, not a dead one. Meng Huo was a barbarian tribal chief; if he said that he would not rebel, he would not rebel forever. We captured Luocha troops’ Commander-in-chief, even if he said he would not rebel, it would not do us any good. Luocha Country’s Tsar and Queen Regent may send other Commander-in-chief, and come here to infringe on our border.”
The generals nodded their head in agreement. Wei Xiaobao said, “Yakesa’s garrison soldiers are fierce and tough, their cannon formidable. If we kill Luocha Commander, the officers and men inside the city might elect another commander, who is more aggressive. Right now we stripped the Luocha Commander naked, and have him march around the city three times. From now on the Luocha troops inside the city will look down on him. He no longer has the prestige; when the boss people around later, he won’t be respected too much.”
The generals expressed their agreement together. Lin Xingzhu asked, “Was it part of His Majesty’s instruction to strip the enemy’s Commander-in-chief’s clothes and pants?”
Wei Xiaobao roared in laughter and said, “How could His Majesty think about something so preposterous? His Majesty only told me to find a way to boost our own troops’ spirit, while breaking the Luocha troops’ power and prestige. His Majesty said, ‘Luocha troops are big and tall, their entire body is hairy, they look like savages, plus their firearms are very sharp. When we go into battle against them, our troops will see their fierceness, most likely they will be afraid in their hearts; once their spirit is broken, it would be hard to achieve victory.’ His Majesty said, ‘Xiao Guizi, you know a lot of tricks, find a way to make our troops, from top to bottom, to look down on those barbarians.’ I thought about it long and hard, but did not find anything good. Until one night, suddenly I remember when I was small I went to gamble.”
The generals all thought, “What does you went to gamble when you were little have anything to do with Luocha troops?”
Wei Xiaobao smiled and said, “When I was small I went to gamble with other people in Yangzhou. My gambling temperament was not good, when I won some money, I would leave my pouch behind; when I lost I would be so engrossed in it that I lost my mind, if someone provoked me I would fight him, I am not afraid. There was one time someone fixed me up really good; the winner grabbed me, stripped my pants and let me go home with naked butts. People on the street clapped their hands and laughed at me. From then on my gambling temperament made considerable progress.” The generals roared in laughter.
Wei Xiaobao also laughed and said, “His Majesty said that fighting war must be flexible and adaptable, His Majesty can only point out the strategy in large scale, the actual execution of the plan will depend on my own thinking. I remember when I was little, I was afraid people might take my pants off, how could these Luocha troops not afraid? Sure enough, as soon as their pants were stripped, they obediently surrendered.”
The generals chorused their agreement, they were all very impressed. Some even thought, “This ‘pants stripping tactic’, even Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’ does not have it. This Wei Tzu’s Art of War is actually very formidable.”
Wei Xiaobao ordered to have the Luocha generals and soldiers to be dressed in Qing troops clothes and hats, and then he sent a Canjiang [regimental commander, colonel] leading two thousand Qing troops to escort the surrendering troops to Beijing to be presented as prisoners of war to the Emperor. He retained twenty surrendering soldiers with loud voice to be used later. The secretary composed a memorial to the Emperor, saying that following His Majesty’s imperial instruction Fuyuan Great General Wei Xiaobao has won a victory on raising the flag, that Luocha troops admired China as a superior nation, that their hearts were bathed in submission, and thus they acknowledged our Emperor as the Holy Sage whose heavenly virtue transformed the barbarians, and so on. That evening Wei Xiaobao bestowed great rewards to the three armies.
By dawn the next day he personally led various army units to Yakesa. He saw smoke and fire covering the top of the city wall, within and without the city the cry of the battling soldiers shook the sky, the guns and cannon rumbled unceasingly. The besieging troops commander Peng Chun reported to the main force: the artillery barrage from the city was fierce, our besieging force suffered not a few injuries and deaths. Wei Xiaobao said, “Use our cannon, blast the damn city.”
Peng Chun left to relay the order. Not too long afterwards from east, south, west and north the cannon were fired simultaneously. Blast by blast the cannon bombarded the city. But Luocha people had lived in Yakesa for a long time, the defensive structure was built extremely strong, the soldiers and generals hid inside the solid rampart. Although the Qing troops had numerous cannon, the bombardment collapsed quite a number of building, the Luocha troops held fast and did not come out, in the end nothing could be done to them.
After several day of heavy assasult, He You led a thousand warriors climbing up the wall, from the top of the wall the enemy fired down over and over, killing three to four hundred Qing troops. Seeing the unfavorable situation, Peng Chun beat the gong to recall the troops. The Luocha troops standing on the wall clapped their hands and cheered. Several dozens Luocha troops even pulled down their pants and shot their pee down the wall; they were extremely haughty.
Heilongjiang’s general Sabusu was very angry, he personally led the troops to besiege the city. The troops on the wall rained down their bullets, Sabusu was shot and he fell from the horse. The Qing troops were immediately thrown into confusion. The city gate opened, several hundred Luocha troops charged out. Leading the rattan-shield troops Lin Xingzhu rolled down on the ground to intercept, brandishing his broadsword. The Luocha troops hastily jumped to evade.
This rattan-shield team was personally trained by Lin Xingzhu, they were adept in ‘Ditang Saber Technique’; as they rolled on the ground, the rattan-shield on their left hand blocked the enemy’s bullets, while the broadsword in their right hand hacked the Luocha troops’ leg. Seeing the unfavorable situation, Tolbusin hurriedly ordered his troops to withdraw. Lin Xingzhu was able to rescue Sabusu. The right side of Sabusu’s forehead was grazed by a bullet, luckily the bullet did not enter his skull; although his injury was serious, his life was not threatened. In this battle both sides suffered heavy loss, but the number of casualties on Qing troops’ side was higher.
Last edited by foxs; 12-25-12 at 11:19 AM.
Foxs the translating machine works even during the holidays! Bravo!
Happy Holidays everyone!
Those names will pop up if we read the history of Russian–Manchu border conflicts. Then start to think how the Chinese people during Qing dynasty will pronounce those names and also how it will be written down as, just like Tolbusin became Tu’erbuqing.
A note of caution though, Jin Yong got his timeline messed up really bad.
You plant a garden and the flowers do not bloom, you poke a stick in the mud and it grows into a tree
Wow...a Christmas treat....Merry Christmas.
Thanks Foxs.... Talked to a few Americans from US and found out that their houses are usually with compounds - gardens and lawns.... Over here we normally have only terraced houses...ie: houses linked to common walls and open only in the front and back.
We also have new houses where we call semi detached and nowadays cluster homes. Semi detached houses are 2 houses linked to a common wall and 3 sides with land while cluster homes are 4 in one, or one side of the house and the rear linked to each other leaving the front and one side open.... with a small piece of land.... one must be rich to afford the semi or cluster homes.
I like this update....heh heh heh, XB really have his way to settle the Loucha ppl. Really, hell will be like spring court compared to his treatment if you oppose him.....imagine parading the officer nude....wow, I suppose shuang er must be blushing from ear to ear......
The equivalent for Shashlyk here in Malaysia and Singapore must be Satay.... skewered marinated meat barbecued...eaten dipped in spicy peanut sauce......slurrrrp delicious.
Last edited by crazee; 12-26-12 at 01:19 AM.
Now i’m curious, what are the names used in the official translation?
You plant a garden and the flowers do not bloom, you poke a stick in the mud and it grows into a tree
LOL - we finally get to see WXB's military prowess executed on large scale! I wonder if he violated any terms of conduct of modern warfare by his tactics?? For the most part - pretty non violent...
Chowbeng, I do not 'work' during the holidays, I translate whenever I need to take a break ... Ace, I have apologized above. Anh, you are welcome. Crazee, what you call 'semi-detached' and 'cluster', I am guessing in here we call 'town home', or 'condo'. Close to downtown in big cities, you have to pay premium for space. Not everybody in the US have single-family home with lawn and garden. Smurf, I don't think he followed any rule. Good thing there was no UN in those days. Folks, my apology for the irregularity of the updates, we are not done moving.
Taking the military doctor along, Wei Xiaobao personally went to Sabusu’s tent to express his sympathy and his wish for speedy recovery. He also rewarded Lin Xingzhu heavily. And then he issued an order to withdraw the camp five li away from the city wall. That night he held a general assembly in his command tent to discuss the strategy to besiege the city.
Several generals said that that day the rattan-shield troops had set up great merit, tomorrow they should lure the demon troops to get out of the city so that the rattan-shield troops could chop the demons’ legs. Some said that the demon troops’ spirit was broken, perhaps they would not dare to get out and fight; it would be better to build long rampart to besiege the city all around, so that the enemy would die of starvation. Some proposed to dig tunnel and attack from underground.
Digging tunnel in besieging a city was an ancient technique in China. This idea reminded Wei Xiaobao of the tunnel underneath Yakesa, which he himself had used in the past, when he embraced the stark-naked Princess Sophia. Presently she had become the Queen Regent wielding power over the Luocha Country’s army and government, while Wei Xiaobao fought with the troops and horses under her command in here. He mused, “If right now she is in the city of Yakesa personally commanding the troops, I can enter the city from the underground tunnel and climb into her bed, one touch, two touches, touching her whole body I make her weak, this loose woman will definitely cry ‘surrender’.”
Seeing Wei Xiaobao was deep in thought but there was a hint of smile on his face, the generals thought that he had a brilliant idea. Immediately they all shut up and quietly wait for the Grand Marshal’s instruction. It never occurred to them that right this moment Wei Xiaobao was thinking about how to gently caress and stroke the golden-hair covered naked skin of Princess Sophia. They saw his eyes were closed, as he quietly muttered, “It’s so troublesome, even if I have the strength, I cannot eat her up completely.”
The generals looked at each other in bewilderment. They heard their Grand Marshal, “Damn it, with one kick she kicked me off the bed.” The generals were even more at a loss. They heard he said again, “Although this Luocha s1ut is formidable, Laozi will eventually find a way to handle her.”
“Commander is right,” Peng Chun said, “Even if Luocha demons are more formidable, we will eventually find a way to deal with them.”
Wei Xiaobao was startled. He opened his eyes and said in surprise, “We? So you are going to touch her as well?” But immediately he burst into loud laughter and said, “Right, right! The tunnel is too narrow, only one person can crawl at one time; also, the exit is in the general’s room, I believe by this time he has already had it blocked. We must dig another tunnel.” The generals were even more confused.
Wei Xiaobao stood up and said, “All gentlemen generals’ ideas are very good, we are going to eat them all, Green Dragon, White Tiger and Heaven’s Gate. Early in the morning tomorrow, everybody will separately build long rampart, dig the tunnel, while at the same time firing the cannon, luring them to come out and fight, then we’ll send the rattan-shield troops to chop the demons’ leg.” Since all their recommendations were accepted by their Commander-in-chief, the generals exited the tent with happy hearts.
Just before dawn the next day, the generals ordered the troops under their command to do different tasks. Peng Chun supervised and directed the troops to carry soil and build the rampart. Lang Tan arranged and set up the cannon, Ba Hai excavated the tunnel. Heading five hundred soldiers Hong Chao went to learn cursing words from the Luocha officers and soldiers to be used under the city wall. Only a pity Luocha people were shallow and unlearned; their cursing vocabulary was rather limited. Although the soldiers could curse loudly, the meaning was only so-so; after cursing back and forth it all came down to something like 'you are a stinky pig', or 'you ate feces', and so on. How could it be compared to our Chinese cursing with a lot of flavor, many postures and endless variation? After listening for a while, Wei Xiaobao was completely bored.
The Luocha troops suffered heavy setback the previous day by having their legs chopped; seeing the Qing troops’ might, they resolutely refused to come out; they only hid behind the city wall and cursed back.
The Qing troops fired cannonballs into the city, but the damage was minimal. In those days, gunpowder was stuffed into the cannon’s barrel, ignited, and catapulted the iron cannonballs into the city. If it was a direct hit, it could break human’s tendon and smash the bones, but if it fell on the ground, it would not cause sufficient damage.
For the last dozen of years or so, the common people in that area had suffered Luocha troops’ mistreating and killing them, countless families went bankrupt and more people died. When they learned about the Emperor sending troops to fight the Luocha demons, no one was not wildly delighted. Immediately some people brought wine and food to express their support for the officers and soldiers. Some even brought their hoes and shoulder poles to help building the earthen rampart. The news spread far and wide, even people from within several hundred li from this area also came to support the war.
From the top of the city wall Tolbusin looked down, and saw people like ants, continuously carrying earth to build the rampart; the long barrier outside the city was growing taller and taller, he knew that if this situation continued, they would be trapped to death. His hope was that the Luocha troops from Nerchinsk to their west would come to their aid. Only with pincher attack from inside and outside would they have a hope victory. He did not know that Kangxi had already anticipated this and had dispatched another unit of cavalry to pretend to attack Nerchinsk, hence gaining control over the enemy’s movement. The defending general of Nerchinsk was also hoping that Tolbusin would come to their rescue.
Luocha troops’ firearms had longer range, the Qing troops did not dare to be too close to the city. Yakesa was the base of Luocha troops’ operation on the east. Luocha people had grand ambition, they were planning on occupying the vast land over the Heilongjiang and Songhuajiang [Songhua River, Jilin province through Harbin] regions first, and then invade southward to collect the entire China into their domain, they wanted the millions upon millions people to acknowledge allegiance to them and became an empire. For this reason the Yakesa city wall was solid and thick, with enough ammunition in the city, army provisions piled up like a mountain, and would be able to withstand a siege for three years or five changes of seasons without suffering any deficiency. Deep wells were dug inside the city, there was no lack of fresh drinking water. Tolbusin was afraid the Chinese people inside the city would rise in revolt and join the attack from the inside, hence he brought all Chinese males to the city wall and killed them all, throwing their bodies down the city wall. When the Chinese soldiers and people outside the city saw this, they all hatefully hurled curses.
Gradually the tunnel was dug closer to the city. Wei Xiaobao thought that Mount Luding was the place where the Emperor’s dragon vein was located; if they dug and cut the dragon’s vein, he would have caused Kangxi’s demise, it would be greatly inappropriate. Thereupon he issued an order not to dig straight into town, but only to the ground underneath the city wall so that they could bury explosive and blow up the city wall, and then the main force could break into the city.
One day several wells inside the city suddenly dried up. Tolbusin was adept at military strategy, after receiving the report he thought about it for a while, and guessed correctly than the enemy troops were digging a tunnel, to such an extent that the source of underground water was cut somewhere upstream. Immediately he surveyed and evaluated the direction of the tunnel, and then dropped explosive on top of it. With a loud bang more than a hundred Qing troops digging the tunnel were killed, the tunnel was also blocked.
The city of Yakesa could not be broken, the weather was turning colder as the days gone by. Late autumn in this extreme-north, bitter-cold place, the temperature drop was not a small matter. When winter came, a water drop would immediately turn into ice. If one was not sufficiently protected, oftentimes one’s nose or ear would freeze and fall off. The tip of one’s finger would stiffen, hands and feet would freeze rotten, was a common occurrence.
After several days of heavy snow, the common people who helped the attack already could not withstand the cold; they bade their farewell to the officers and men, promising that they would return early summer the following year, when the ice thawed, to help the attack. They also advised the officers to withdraw to the south so that they would not freeze in this world of ice and snow.
Sabusu, Ba Hai, and the other officers had been stationed in the north for a long time, they knew when the winter came, the situation would be extremely dangerous. If there was a cold wave attack in the night, it would not be surprising if more than half of the officers and men would freeze to death in just one night. The Luocha troops lived in buildings, the walls would stop the cold air, but the Qing troops lived in army tents on the wilderness. Even though they could make fire, it would not be of any use. Thereupon they submitted their recommendation to Wei Xiaobao to withdraw to the south to avoid the cold.
Wei Xiaobao thought that the Emperor sent me to go into battle, not even a single city was taken, and he already wanted to withdraw the troops, inevitably he felt he was too useless; hence he hesitated for several days, without being able to make up his mind. His subordinate later reported that there were dozens of injured soldiers who were not able to withstand the cold and had been frozen to death. Wei Xiaobao was out of his wits when suddenly an imperial edict arrived.
Kangxi’s imperial edict said, “The troops sent out under the Fuyuan Great General Wei Xiaobao have done well, their excellent effort is to be commended. Presently the Luocha’s surrendering generals have received the Great Qing’s imperial order to go to Moscow to announce the imperial edict to the Luocha sovereign, urging him to cease dispatching troops, both countries will be reconciled forever. Thinking about the bitter cold weather, the soldiers and generals toil and sleep outdoors on ice and snow, Zhen’s [I, imperial use] heart is sorrowful; hereby Wei Xiaobao is to withdraw the troops to the south and station in Aigun and Kumarsk, two cities, to rest the troops and recuperate the warriors. When spring arrives and the Luocha troops are still obstinately resisting, and refuse to accept the beneficial influence of the sovereign, then you can march the troops again and sweep away and pacify the enemy in one stroke. Hereby Fuyuan Great General, as well as the generals, commanders, vice commanders and all officers and men under their command are to be rewarded with a set of clothes, gold and silver, wine, and food according to their rank. Various officers and generals must comply with Zhen’s desire, to cherish common soldiers, not greedy of quick meritorious service. Elite troops are sent on a punitive expedition to the north, the original intention was to protect the people; soldiers are also people. By the Emperor himself.”
Wei Xiaobao and his generals expressed their gratitude for the imperial decree. The generals all said that the Lord of Ten Thousand Years cherished officers and soldiers, the imperial kindness was vast and mighty, only thinking about by withdrawing from the siege, inevitably they had to abandon the meritorious deed in front of their eyes, everybody thought it was a pity. The imperial envoy delivering the imperial decree went around the camp to announce the decree and bestow rewards, the sound of soldiers’ cheering shook the earth.
The next day Wei Xiaobao ordered Sabusu to lead his troops to be the first to withdraw; he then ordered Ba Hai and Lin Xingzhu to stay behind, if the Luocha troops dared to get out of the city, they were to kill them and rout them completely.
Seeing the Qing troops retreating, the sound of Luocha troops cheering inside the city rose up; more than a thousand Luocha troops stood on top of the city wall and shot their pee down. Wei Xiaobao was enraged; he ordered his troops to pee toward the city together. Tens of thousands Qing troops urinating together, it was indeed a magnificent sight. On top and below the city wall, the roar of laughter and cursing mixed together. However, the Luocha troops were on higher plane looking down, their urine shot down the city wall, while the Qing troops could not shoot their urine up; hence in this urine battle they had lost.
There was urine everywhere under the city wall. When the cold wind blew, in an instant the urine turned into a layer of glistening yellow ice. Wei Xiaobao was so angry that he almost choked; pointing his finger to the top of the city wall he rained curses. The imperial envoy who had come to deliver the imperial edict tried to calm him down, “Luocha troops are just like beasts, Grand Marshal need not lower yourself to their level.”
“Can’t do,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “If we lose, we lose too much face!” He ordered his men to fetch the fire hose.
The fire hose was firefighting equipment; to guard against fire, whenever the troops march out and pitch camp, they always brought some. His personal guards came back, pulling more than a dozen fire hose equipment. Wei Xiaobao ordered them to push the equipment to the top of the earthen rampart. By this time the river water already froze, no water could be used. Thereupon he ordered the firefighting captain to melt ice and snow in a large cauldron, and pour the hot water into the hose. Wei Xiaobao pulled down his pants and peed into the hot water, and then he shouted his order to his personal guards, “Shoot the top of the wall!”
Seeing their boss, the Commander-in-chief came up with this brilliant trick, the personal guards were excited; in high spirit they pulled the lever of the fire hose, pumping the water in the pipe so that a stream of hot water shot straight toward the top of the city wall. The personal guards shouted together, “Grand Marshal Wei bestows Luocha demons some urine to drink!”
As the hot water arrived, the Luocha troops shouted, cursed, and jumped around to evade. Some of the generals under Wei Xiaobao’s command inwardly exclaimed, “He’s making a scene!” Some others wanted to curry the Grand Marshal’s favor; they shouted and cheered on the side. It’s just that the weather was simply too cold, almost in no time at all the hot water inside the fire hose turned into ice so that they had to add more hot water.
Wei Xiaobao was in high spirit; he boasted and praised himself, “Zhuge Liang set the Pan She [coiling snake] valley on fire; Wei Xiaobao shot urine on Mount Luding. Both are equally impressive!”
Standing on the side, Vice Commander Lang Tan praised, “Grand Marshal’s urine shot greatly broke Luocha demons’ fighting spirit.”
This scene is really hilarious towards the end. Fight fire with fire, and I guess, freezing weather with frozen pee (water).