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Thread: The Deer and The Cauldron

  1. #1741
    Senior Member Gubrak's Avatar
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    Thanks Foxs

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    Senior Member crazee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sablemagi View Post
    Thanks foxs! Such a quic update. Made my day before sleeping

    Love the way he compares the new mansion o the brothel he grew up in. The frames of reference always is rooted in our childhood
    Yep.... Foxs' speed is definitely up to his namesake...Yes, even in this holidays season.
    I suppose WXB's reference to the brothel tells us that he is basically a humble and simple man....err boy. He sort of never asked for high position or big bribes but they are just shoved right to him....his helping his friends seems genuine...
    cheerio..

  3. #1743
    Senior Member foxs's Avatar
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    Default Chapter 29 - Part 8

    Sablemagi, Tweety, other kids might want to be a hero (xia), or in modern day, a doctor or a lawyer or something else, but WXB only had one dream: open his own brothel. Smurf, Crazee, no wonder people crave 'power' ... Sky, I only remember he was born in the Spring, March or April (which I was right), but I thought it was more than a year (which I was wrong). Sorry ... I think Princess' father was the bald palace maid. Anh, I will be back at work on the third of January . Ace, first of all, I think I have already mentioned 'consort' somewhere before, second, as I repeatedly mentioned, I am trying to translate as close to the original as possible. Gubrak, you are welcome.

    Say, what are you guys doing? I thought everybody was out on vacation somewhere else. Smurf, I noticed that you posted almost daily, did you have to work this past week? I am trying to post some more before going back to work, but I seriously doubt I can finish Chapter 29 before the year is over.


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    Early in the morning the next day, he went to see Jiu Nan, to report that the Emperor was sending him to Yunnan to escort the bride.

    “Very good,” Jiu Nan said, “I will accompany you go.”

    Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he turned his head to look at Ah Ke. Jiu Nan said, “Ah Ke is coming with us.”

    Wei Xiaobao was even more overjoyed at the news. Even if the Emperor conferred him a hundred viscount titles, it still could not compare to this one good news.

    After taking his leave from Jiu Nan, he went to Tian Di Hui’s new temporary lodging. Chen Jinnan hesitatingly said, “The Tatar Emperor favors Wu Sangui like that, we can’t pull him down for the time being. But this is such a golden opportunity. Xiaobao, if the traitor Wu Sangui does not revolt, we have to provoke him to rebel. If the provocation does not work, we have to frame him as a rebel. I should have gone with you, but when Er Gongzi and Feng Xifan are back in Taiwan, they will surely slander me in front of Wangye. I expect Wangye will send someone to inquire Tian Di Hui’s affair. I must stay here to report everything according to the facts. You may take all brothers here to Yunnan.”

    “I am afraid that fellow Feng Xifan will return to harm Shifu,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Better have the brothers here to help Shifu, otherwise disciple won’t feel relieved.”

    Chen Jinnan patted his shoulder; he said warmly, “It’s rare to have someone as filial as you are. Although Feng Xifan’s martial art is strong, your Shifu may not necessarily weaker than he is. Last time he simply attacked us when we expected it the least, he hid behind the door and launched a sneak attack; hence, he managed to injure my right arm first. Next time we meet, he won’t necessarily be able to occupy the advantageous position. Presently, killing Wu Sangui is the most important matter, we must try to accomplish it at all costs. I only hope that the matter in here will be resolved as quickly as possible, so that I can catch up with you to Yunnan. We can’t let the Mu Family have a head start.”

    Wei Xiaobao nodded and said, “If we let the Mu Family make their move first, later on Tian Di Hui will have to obey their command; that won’t be too good.”

    Chen Jinnan reached out to check Wei Xiaobao’s pulse, he also ordered him to pull out his tongue. He frowned and said, “How can the poison you contacted change its nature? Fortunately it won’t flare-up for the time being. You must not train the internal energy cultivation I taught you, so that the poison will not enter your channels.”

    Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he said in his heart, “You told me not to train martial art, you said so yourself; you cannot blame me in the future.” He also thought, “This leopard embryo tendon-altering pill is really fierce, even Shifu does not know what it is. I only hope Mr. Lu will deliver the antidote soon.”

    Several days later, everything was prepared. Wei Xiaobao would lead the Imperial Bodyguards, the Valiant Cavalry Brigade, Tian Di Hui warriors, and Divine Dragon Cult’s Fat Toutuo. He took his leave from Kangxi and the Empress Dowager, to escort Princess Jianning to Yunnan. Jiu Nan and Ah Ke dressed up as palace maids, they mingled with the other palace maids. Tian Di Hui warriors and Fat Toutuo were also disguised as Wei Xiaobao’s personal attendants, they all wore Valian Cavalry Sergeants uniform.

    Wei Xiaobao sat astride the Jade Buckskin horse Prince Kang gave him, with retinue in front and behind him, immensely proud of himself as he set to the south. He had already sent a messenger to Henan, to tell Shuang’er to head south. He was hoping that they could meet en route. This moment everything was fine except for one small imperfection, namely he missed this gentle, soft, considerate and smart servant girl by his side.

    Along the way, all government officials spared no effort in providing extravagant welcome; they were all trying their best to curry this high-ranking official, the marriage envoy’s favor, in short, they licked his behind completely. Wei Xiaobao was bursting with joy, ever since he went on mission out of the Palace, he had never experienced anything as comfortable as this time.

    “The old wh0re is very disappointing,” he mused, “Why did she give birth to only one daughter? If she had seventeen, eighteen daughters, laozi will specialize in being marriage envoy, and would escort them all one by one; that way I would eat, drink, and be marry for the rest of my life. Having gold, silver and jewels to splurge sure beats everything else.”

    One day they arrived at Zhengzhou[6]. The prefectural magistrate welcomed the delegation and had them take a rest and lodge for the night at the garden of a local wealthy elite resident. After the grand welcoming feast, Princess Jianning sent for Wei Xiaobao, summoning him to come and chat with her.

    Ever since they left Beijing, it had always been like this. Wei Xiaobao was afraid the Princess would beat him up, each time he always had Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao to accompany him by his side. No matter how earnest the Princess asked him, or threatened him in anger, he simply would not send these two people away to let him alone with her face-to-face.

    As usual, after dinner that day, the Princess summoned Wei Xiaobao. The three of them came to the small hall in front of the Princess’ bedroom. The Princess wanted Wei Xiaobao to sit, while Qian and Gao, two people stood behind him. It was in the middle of a very hot summer weather, the Princess was wearing a thin gauze short jacket with open slits in place of sleeves. With circular fans in their hands, the two palace maids behind her were fanning her. The Princess’ face was flushed. There were tiny beads of sweats above her lips, making her look very tender and beautiful.

    Wei Xiaobao thought, “Although the Princess is not as good-looking as my wife, she could still be considered first class attractive woman. That fellow Wu Yingxiong can marry her, his luck in love is indeed not shallow.”

    The Princess cocked her head and smiled. “Xiao Guizi,” she said, “Are you hot?”

    “Not bad,” Wei Xiaobao replied.

    “If you are not hot,” the Princess said, “Why is your forehead sweating a lot?” Wei Xiaobao laughed while using his sleeve to wipe the sweat.

    A palace maid entered with a large multicolored porcelain jar in her hands, she said, “Reporting to the Princess: Prefectural Magistrate Meng respectfully presents this iced sour plum drink for the Princess to relieve the summer heat.”

    The Princess happily said, “Good, get a bowl for me to taste.”

    Another palace maid fetched a blue and white china bowl, poured the sour plum drink, and presented it to the Princess with both hands. The Princess took a soupspoon and drank several mouthfuls. She let out a contented sigh and said, “I could not imagine a tiny Zhengzhou prefecture like this can store ice.”

    The sweet-scented osmanthus fragrance from the sour plum drink inundated the room, the ice cubes tinkled against the soupspoon, Wei Xiaobao and Qian and Gao, two people, could not stop their mouths from watering. The Princess said, “Everybody is hot, pour a bowl for each one of them.”

    Wei Xiaobao and Qian and Gao, two people, expressed their gratitude. As the ice-cold sour plum drink entered their mouths, a burst of cool air seemed to penetrate their inner beings; it was an unspeakably comfortable feeling. In just a short time, the three of them drank their bowls dry.

    The Princess said, “Hastening through this kind of hot weather is quite an ordeal. From tomorrow on, we will travel only forty li a day. We’ll leave early in the morning, and stop to rest as soon as the sun is up.”

    Wei Xiaobao said, “Princess is so considerate of your subordinates, everybody is very grateful. But I am afraid we will be delayed for quite a long time.”

    The Princess laughed and said, “What are you afraid of? I am not in a hurry, why are you anxious? Let that fellow Wu Yingxiong wait, it’ll be good for him.”

    Wei Xiaobao smiled. He was just about to reply when suddenly he felt his head was spinning, his body swayed. “What is it?” the Princess asked, “You got heat-stroke?”

    “I am afraid … I am afraid I drank too much wine just now,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “Your highness, Princess, your servant wants to take my leave.”

    “You drank too much wine?” the Princess said, “In that case you all have to drink another bowl of sour plum drink to wash the wine away.”

    “Many … many thanks,” Wei Xiaobao said.

    The palace maid poured three more bowls of sour plum drink. Qian and Gao, two people also felt their heads dizzy. They drank the plum drink in one go. Suddenly the two of them swayed and fell down to the floor. Wei Xiaobao was shocked; he saw stars dancing in front of his eyes, he only drank a mouthful of the sour plum, the rest of it splashed on his body, in a flash he lost his consciousness.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [6] Prefecture level city and capital of Henan province in central China.

  4. #1744
    Senior Member Ace High's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foxs View Post
    After taking his leave from Jiu Nan, he went to Tian Di Hui’s new temporary lodging. Chen Jinnan hesitatingly said, “The Tatar Emperor favors Wu Sangui like that, we can’t pull him down for the time being. But this is such a golden opportunity. Xiaobao, if the traitor Wu Sangui does not revolt, we have to provoke him to rebel. If the provocation does not work, we have to frame him as a rebel. I should have gone with you, but when Er Gongzi and Feng Xifan are back in Taiwan, they will surely slander me in front of Wangye. I expect Wangye will send someone to inquire Tian Di Hui’s affair. I must stay here to report everything according to the facts. You may take all brothers here to Yunnan.”
    This just prove it. Its far more important for CJN to give a report to a Taiwan representative rather than handling 'the most important matter for the rebellion'.
    You plant a garden and the flowers do not bloom, you poke a stick in the mud and it grows into a tree

  5. #1745
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    Thanks foxs! Princess gonna run away? Pretty exciting.

    Happy new year from Singapore!

  6. #1746
    Senior Member smurf120's Avatar
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    Its year end for us so no vacation time for me till March. Fortunately I have this translation to keep me company during lunch. Also god bless wireless mobile internet!

    Its funny that the tables have been turned and WXB fell for his own classic trick! Someone is in for a beating of a lifetime.

  7. #1747
    Senior Member SkyWalker's Avatar
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    Thanks for another update foxs! You are posting faster than I can read!

    Of all his wives, he only misses Shuanger! And what is the princess going to do with WXB?

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    Foxs,

    Happy New Year and all the best to you and your family.

    Wei Xiaobao for all his tricks and street-wise abilities is not able to match the princess determination. Am I seeing the type of plot that the 'evil male does to a beautiful female', but this time with reversal of the roles? WXB is such a lucky guy as he admits the Princess is a first class beauty..

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    Thanks Foxs It is 20 minutes to 2012 and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.

  10. #1750
    Senior Member Gubrak's Avatar
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    Hi Foxs, thanks and happy newyear all .....

  11. #1751
    Senior Member crazee's Avatar
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    HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL

    Foxs, never expected an update on New Year's day itself....
    Did my countdown welcoming 2012 in a friend's new house..wow it was a big and beautiful new one in an exclusive area. His neighbours had fireworks...

    I'm a bit lucky, managed to get a day's leave on the 3rd.... had to settle my daughter's prob..

    Back to XB...nice to know that Shuang er is going to be back. My daughter was saying that Jing Yong loves the chracter of Shuang er and as such she remains such an angel. Don't know where she got that but it sounds logical....just like she was saying the Huang Rong is the most pretty of all the JY ladies and AH Chu...in DGSD is purposely blinded by JY's friend who did a partial translation for JY all because his friend hated Ah Chu....well too bad I was not aware and was not able to participate in chinese forums for JY stories..
    cheerio..

  12. #1752
    Senior Member crazee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anh Nam View Post
    Thanks Foxs It is 20 minutes to 2012 and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.
    Eh?...you have to work on new year's day....and in US ??
    You must be in the service line.....
    cheerio..

  13. #1753
    Senior Member crazee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle View Post
    Foxs,

    WXB is such a lucky guy as he admits the Princess is a first class beauty..
    heh heh heh.... i doubt he'll be in for a good time, a nice round of torture more likely...and I thought as his attendants, they are not supposed to drink together with the master ? -basic protocol ?
    cheerio..

  14. #1754
    Senior Member foxs's Avatar
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    Default Chapter 29 - Part 9

    Happy New Year everybody! May 2012 bring us all blessing and happiness.

    Ace, you got that right. Sablemagi, maybe she will elope ... Smurf, my condolence ... Sky, don't expect this to continue forever. Eagle, Princess was into SM. Anh, welcome back to the real world ... I will follow you the day after tomorrow. Gubrak, you are welcome. Crazee, officially, this is my New Year update. Forgot the fact that we have our New Year day quite late compared to the rest of the world.

    The next part will be posted late tomorrow (or early Tuesday for you in Asia), I want to post a rather long update.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    He did not know how long he had been unconscious, but while he was still in daze, he felt like heavy rain was falling on his head. He wanted to open his eyes, but another heavy rain drenched his head. A moment later, his brain started to clear up, he felt his body was ice-cold, suddenly he heard a laughter. When he opened his eyes, he saw the Princess was looking at him, giggling happily.

    “Ah!” Wei Xiaobao exclaimed; realizing that he was lying on the floor, he hastily wanted to prop himself up. Who would have thought that his hands and feet were bound? He was shocked, and struggled for a moment, but unexpectedly he was unable to move a single step.

    He saw that he had been moved into the Princess’ bedroom. His body was soaking wet. Suddenly he also realized that his entire clothes had been stripped clean, he was stark naked without wearing a single thread on him. He was even more scared. “What … what happened?” he called out.

    Under the candlelight he only saw the Princess, one person, in the room; the palace maids, Qian and Gao, two people, were gone. He was even more shocked. “I … I …” he stammered.

    “You … you … you what?” the Princess said, “You dare to be rude to me?”

    “Where are they?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

    The Princess’ pretty face sank immediately. “I loathe to see your two attendants,” she said, “I have their heads chopped early on.”

    Wei Xiaobao was not sure if she was telling the truth or was lying, but thinking that this Princess’ action was unpredictable and did not follow conventional reasoning and morals, he would not be surprised if Qian and Gao, two people, were indeed killed by her. He thought better of it and guessed that there was some trick in the sour plum drink. “Was there any knockout drug in the sour plum drink?” he asked.

    The Princess giggled. “You are very smart,” she said, “Too bad it was too late.”

    “The knockout drug … did you get it from the Imperial Bodyguards?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

    When he released Wu Lishen and the others, he also asked the Imperial Bodyguards for some knockout drugs. Later on he used the knockout drug up to disable Sangjie and the other lamas. This time he was back in Beijing, he immediately asked for another big package from Zhang Kangnian, which he had it inside his traveling sack. ‘Dagger, treasured vest, knockout drug’ were three magic weapons the Little White Dragon Wei Xiaobao used to attack and defend himself. Usually Princess Jianning asked for martial art advice from the Imperial Bodyguards, she often chatted with them about the marvels and legends of the Jianghu; hence he would not be surprised at all if she asked for some knockout drugs from them to play with.

    The Princess laughed and said, “You know everything. Yet you did not know there was some knockout drug in the sour plum drink.”

    “Princess is a hundred times smarter than your servant,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Princess wants to do anything to me, you want to bind my hands and feet, your servant cannot resist at all.” While his mouth was busy talking, his mind was churning to find a way to escape.

    With a cold laugh the Princess said, “Your shifty eyes keep turning around and around, what crafty idea are you thinking about?” Raising Wei Xiaobao’s own dagger, she said, “As soon as you shout one time, I am going to poke eighteen holes on your tummy. Tell me, at that time, will you be a dead eunuch, or a live one?”

    Seeing the flickering cold ray of the dagger, Wei Xiaobao mused, “Dead girl, a pest, doing things in total disregard of the law and natural morality; if you casually scratch this dagger anywhere on my body, laozi will definitely die. I must scare her first so that she won’t dare to kill me, and then I’ll think of a way to escape.” Thereupon he said, “At that time, I will be neither dead eunuch nor live eunuch, but I will turn into a blood-sucking ghost, an evil zombie.”

    The Princess raised her leg and kicked him heavily on his stomach. “Dead little demon,” she cursed, “You still think of scaring me?”

    “Ah!” Wei Xiaobao screamed in pain. The Princess said, “I have not tread on your tummy and squeeze your intestine out; did it hurt? Hey, guess how many times I will have to tread on your tummy to squeeze your intestine out? If you guess correctly, I will let you go.”

    Wei Xiaobao said, “Since people tied up your servant, my brain is getting dumb, I won’t be able to guess anything.”

    The Princess said, “Since you won’t be able to guess, I will have to try it. One kick, two kicks, three kicks!” With each count, she raised her foot and kicked his belly.

    “That won’t do, that won’t do!” Wei Xiaobao called out, “If you kick me one more time, you will squeeze out the smelly excrement out of my tummy.”

    The Princess jumped in fright, and did not dare to kick anymore; she thought that it was not a big deal if she squeezed his intestine out, but if she squeezed his excrement, it would stink to high heavens, then it would not be fun anymore.

    “Good Princess,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Please release me quickly, Xiao Guizi will obey your command, I will accompany you for a martial art match or a fight.”

    The Princess shook her head, “I don’t like fighting,” she said, “I like to beat people!” ‘Shua!’ she drew a whip from underneath the mattress; ‘whack, whack, whack, whack’, successively she lashed the whip on Wei Xiaobao’s fully exposed skin more than a dozen times. Immediately strips of blood appeared. As soon as the Princess saw the blood, she could not help but beaming with joy; she stooped down and gently ran her fingers on his scars.

    Wei Xiaobao was hurting so much that it was as if he was roasted over the open fire. “Good Princess,” he pleaded, “I have enough beating from you today, I have not offended you.”

    Suddenly the Princess got angry; she kicked his nose heavily, immediately blood flowed out of his nose. “You have not offended me?” she said, “Huangdi Gege is giving me in marriage to that fellow Wu Yingxiong, it was entirely your crafty idea.”

    “No, no,” Wei Xiaobao busily said, “It was His Majesty’s holy decision, it has nothing to do with me.”

    “You still deny it?” the Princess angrily said, “Empress Dowager has always loved me the most, why is it that I am being given away in marriage far away in Yunnan, the Empress Dowager did not say anything? So much so that when I said goodbye, the Empress Dowager ignored me completely. She … she is my own mother, you know!” While saying that, she covered her face and cried bitterly.

    Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, “The Empress Dowager has been swapped long ago; since the old wh0re swapped the real Empress Dowager, she hates you to the bones, naturally she ignored you completely. She did not curse you or scold you, she can be considered very polite to you. But I can’t tell you this secret.”

    The Princess cried for a while, and then hatefully said, “It’s all because you are not good, it’s all because you are not good!” While saying that, she kicked randomly on Wei Xiaobao’s body.

    Wei Xiaobao suddenly had a bright idea, “Princess,” he said, “You do not want to marry Wu Yingxiong, why didn’t you say so earlier? I have an idea.”

    The Princess opened her eyes and said, “Liar! What idea do you have? This is Huangdi Gege’s decree, nobody can defy.”

    “Nobody can defy His Majesty’s imperial decree,” Wei Xiaobao said, “But there is a fellow that even His Majesty cannot do anything to him.”

    “Who’s that?” the Princess asked in surprise.

    “Yanluo Wang!” Wei Xiaobao said. [King of Hell]

    The Princess still did not understand. “What can Yanluo Wang do?” she asked.

    “If Yanluo Wang came to help,” Wei Xiaobao started, “He could grab Wu Yingxiong away, then you can’t get married with him.”

    The Princess was startled. “How can that happen so conveniently?” she asked, “How can Wu Yingxiong die just like that?”

    Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “If he does not want to see Yanluo Wang, we can send him go.”

    “Are you saying we should kill him?” the Princess asked.

    Wei Xiaobao shook his head. “Not killing him,” he said, “But some people die without any reason, nobody knows the cause of his death.”

    The Princess stared at him for half a day, suddenly she shouted, “You tell me to murder my own husband? That won’t do! You told me that this fellow Wu Yingxiong is amazingly handsome, and that all the young women in the world want to marry him. If you kill him, I will deal with you and won’t let this matter rest.” While saying that, she raised the whip again and lashed it out on his body.

  15. #1755
    Senior Member tweety365's Avatar
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    Despite all his crafty ideas and bootlicking skills, WXB is still completely at the mercy of this crazy fake princess. She is totally another Ah Zi.

    Thanks for this wonderful new year present, foxs! You are totally a God send to us readers

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazee View Post
    heh heh heh.... i doubt he'll be in for a good time, a nice round of torture more likely...and I thought as his attendants, they are not supposed to drink together with the master ? -basic protocol ?
    Better being tortured by a first class beauty than a ninety-ninth one. May find the torture a bit more tolerable...

    Quote Originally Posted by foxs View Post
    ...

    Eagle, Princess was into SM.

    Foxs, there's a saying "No pain, No gain!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazee View Post
    Eh?...you have to work on new year's day....and in US ??
    You must be in the service line.....
    Even worse. My wife owns a retail business and we have to do inventory

  18. #1758
    Senior Member crazee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagle View Post
    Better being tortured by a first class beauty than a ninety-ninth one. May find the torture a bit more tolerable...
    First class beauty - pervert and sadistic one..... I'll avoid her even if I have a ten feet pole....

    Oh yes.... we celebrate New earlier than you poor people in the west.....
    We are so used to 1st Jan being a Holiday and we liken it to the west making a great deal out of the Hols....so it comes as a surprise that there are people in the west not celebrating.

    Oh yes....Thanks foxs, really appreciate your sacrificing the hols translating...
    cheerio..

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    Thank you very much Foxes and Happy New Year. There is a new book in town that you and others here might be interested in. It was written by Guy Gavriel Kay and the title is Under Heaven. Nice story about the State of Kitan. I could'nt put it down and finished it in one day.

  20. #1760
    Senior Member foxs's Avatar
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    Default Chapter 29 - Part 10

    Tweety, thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it. Eagle, I think you'll like this part. Anh, I am so sorry to hear that ... Crazee, you don't have to rub it in ... No, it was not a sacrifice, because I enjoy doing it too. Nexus, thanks for the info.

    WARNING: This part is rated R for violence, vulgar language and nudity. Kids, please ask your parents' permission before reading it.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wei Xiaobao could only scream in pain. The Princess laughed and said, “Did it hurt? The more it hurt the more fun it is! It’s just that you are screaming too loud, people outside might hear it. You don’t have a heroic spirit.”

    “I am not a hero, I am a coward,” Wei Xiaobao said.

    “F*ck your mother!” the Princess cursed, “Turns out you are a coward.”

    This ‘golden branch, jade leaves’ belonging to the royal family would suddenly utter such a vulgar language. Wei Xiaobao could not help but was shocked. The Princess casually picked up a sock, which was actually taken from Wei Xiaobao’s own foot, and stuffed it into his mouth. Raising the whip again, she ruthlessly lashed it out on him.

    After several lashes, Wei Xiaobao pretended to pass out; he rolled his eyes until only the whites were visible, and stayed still. The Princess cursed, “Little thief, you pretend to be dead? I am going to make three cuts on your belly; if you are really dead, you won’t move at all.”

    Wei Xiaobao thought that he could not take the chance and test it out, hastily he turned and twisted to struggle free. The Princess laughed aloud; she raised the whip and lashed it out on his naked body again. ‘Whack, whack, slap, slap!’ the whip cracked sharp and clear.

    After lashing the whip more than a dozen times, she tossed the whip down, and said with a giggle, “Zhuge Liang wants to burn the rattan-shield troops.”

    Wei Xiaobao was greatly anxious, “To meet with this insane woman today, laozi’s nineteen generation ancestors must have committed a lot of sin.”

    He heard the Princess was muttering to herself, “The rattan-shield troops do not rattan-shield on him, it won’t be too easy to burn, I must pour some oil on him.” Finished speaking, she turned around and walked out of the room to find some oil.

    Wei Xiaobao struggled desperately, but the rope binding his hands and feet was simply too tight, how could he escape? In his anxiety, he suddenly remembered his shifu. “Laozi has bowed to take quite a few of shifu. The old turtle Hai Dafu was the first, and then Chen Zongduozhu Shifu, Hong Jiaozhu whose long-life-is-the-same-as the-heavens Shifu, Madame Hong the coquettish-fox Shifu, the Young-Emperor Shifu, Cheng Guan the old-monk-martial-nephew Shifu, Jiu Nan the good-looking-nun Shifu, but among these string of shifu, no one has taught me any really useful martial art. If laozi knew superior internal energy, I only need to lightly push the muscle of my hands and my feet, the rope will immediately break; why should I be afraid of that crafty girl burning rattan-shield troops?”

    While he was fretful, frightened and anxious, and was busy blaming the gods and accusing other people, suddenly he heard someone outside the window was speaking in a low voice, “Quickly go in and save him out.” It was Jiu Nan, the good-looking-nun Shifu’s voice.

    As soon as the voice entered his ears, Wei Xiaobao was so happy that he wanted to jump; it was a pity his hands and feet were tied that he could not jump. He also heard Ah Ke’s voice, “He … he is not wearing any clothes, I can’t save him!”

    Wei Xiaobao was furious; he cursed in his heart, “Dead girl, I don’t wear any clothes, why can’t you help me? Could it be that I have to wear clothes before you can save me? If you don’t save your husband, it’s the same as murdering your own husband. You will become young widow, will you be happy then?”

    He heard Jiu Nan said, “Just close your eyes, cut the ropes binding his hands and feet, won’t that work?”

    “That won’t do,” Ah Ke said, “If I close my eyes, I can’t see. What if … what if I touch his body? Shifu, you save him.”

    “I have left home,” Jiu Nan angrily said, “How can I do this kind of things?” Although Wei Xiaobao was young, he was a teenage boy, and he was stark naked, it was quite a disgraceful situation, how could she look?

    Wei Xiaobao wanted to scream, “Just get some clothes and throw it in to cover me; won’t that mean you will not see me?” Too bad there was a stinky sock stuffed in his mouth that he could not speak; plus Jiu Nan and Ah Ke, master and disciple, were extremely lacking in their experience to meet a contingency.

    The two of them were dressing up as palace maids, they applied yellow powder on their beautiful faces; usually they were afraid the Princess would question them, hence they only mingled with palace maids who did heavy work, and had never seen the Princess’ face.

    That evening they heard indistinct cracking of whips and the screaming noise coming from the Princess’ bedroom, thereupon they same to the bedroom window to take a look. They saw Wei Xiaobao, completely stripped off his clothes and bound, was being ruthlessly whipped by the Princess.

    While outside the window Jiu Nan, master and disciple, had not reached an agreement, Princess Jianning already returned to the bedroom; she giggled and said, “Momentarily I cannot find any pig oil, cow oil, or vegetable oil, we will have no choice but to extract some black bear oil by heat. [The original word for ‘coward’ is ‘black bear’] You said it yourself, you are not a hero [yingxiong] but a coward [gouxiong/black bear]; I have never seen what black bear oil look like. Have you seen it?” While saying that, she picked up a candlestick from the table and used the flame to burn the flesh of Wei Xiaobao’s chest.

    Under severe pain, Wei Xiaobao jerked his body backward. The Princess grabbed his hair with her left hand to prevent him from moving, while with her right hand she continued burning his skin. Shortly afterwards, burning smell arose. Jiu Nan was shocked. Instantly he pushed the window open, lifted up Ah Ke and threw her into the room. “Quickly save him!” she shouted, while she herself turned around with eyes closed tight to avoid seeing Wei Xiaobao’s nakedness.

    Being thrown into the room by her shifu, Ah Ke saw saw the smooth naked body of Wei Xiaobao in front of her eyes; she did not want to look, but it was too late. Without any choice she stretched out her palm to hack down the back of Princess Jianning’s neck.

    “Who's there?” the Princess called out in alarm. She used her left hand to block, but due to the sudden movement of her right hand, the candle flame went out. However, there were still four or five red candles burning on the table, hence in the room it was still bright enough to see.

    Ah Ke successively made her move; how could the Princess be her match? ‘Crack, crack’ twice, her right arm and her left leg were twisted out of joint, and she fell by the bedside. She had quite an unyielding temperament, her mouth was still cursing in rage.

    Ah Ke angrily said, “It’s you who are not good, and you are still cursing others?” Suddenly ‘Ah!’ she broke crying, in her heart she felt she was deeply wronged.

    The Princess was stunned; she stopped cursing. She thought, you were the one who beat me up, why are you crying instead? Ah Ke grabbed the dagger from the floor and cut the rope binding Wei Xiaobao’s hands and feet; her face blushed deep red from shame. Tossing the dagger away, she flew out the window and disappeared. Jiu Nan followed behind her.

    The commotion inside the room was like the sky and the earth turning upside down, naturally the palace maids and eunuchs outside had heard it early on. However, they had been warned by the Princess, no matter how strange the noise inside, without being summoned, nobody was allowed to come in. Whoever stuck his or her head into the room, that head would be chopped down. Everybody looked at each other in dismay; they all have a strange look on their faces.

    This Princess loved to fool around since she was little; hundreds and thousands of weird tricks emerged one after another, for many years these people were used to her antics, nobody suspected anything. The Princess’ own mother was a fake goods born of the uncultivated land of the Jianghu, how could she control and guide her daughter? Shunzhi left home to become a monk, Kangxi was still young, even if Princess Jianning was more undisciplined and out of control than this, nobody cared.

    A moment ago the Princess summoned the palace maids and eunuchs into the room to drag the fainted Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao out and bind them up. Everybody knew there would be some strange occurrences tonight. Yet it never occurred in anybody’s mind that the Princess could, unexpectedly, be beaten and rendered immovable by other people.

    Hearing his good-looking-nun Shifu and Ah Ke already left far away, Wei Xiaobao pulled the sock from his mouth, turned around to close the window, and cursed, “Stinky girl, have you ever seen fox-spirit oil? I haven’t. How about we extract some by heat so we can look at it?”

    He kicked her twice, grabbed and twisted her hands behind her back. He ripped a piece of her skirt, and tied her hands with it. The Princess’ hand and leg’s joints were dislocated, she was in so much pain that her brow was beaded with sweat, how could she resist? Wei Xiaobao grabbed the front of her clothes and pulled it hard. ‘Rip’ her clothes was immediately ripped apart. The gauze vest she was wearing was thin to begin with, as soon as it was torn, the snow white flesh of her chest was exposed.

    Wei Xiaobao’s heart was filled with hatred. He picked up the candlestick from the floor, lighted it, and put the flame on her chest. “Stinky girl,” he cursed, “The payback is coming soon. I don’t need too much fox-spirit oil, I only need to extract some by heat to fill the sour plum bowl; it will be enough.”

    “Ah!” the Princess screamed in pain. Wei Xiaobao said, “Ah right, you must also taste my stinky sock.”

    He stooped down to pick up the sock and was about to stuff it into her mouth. The Princess suddenly said in a soft voice, “Gui Beilei [see previous note, note 19 chapter 13], don’t stuff the sock in my mouth, I won’t scream.”

    As soon as the three characters ‘Gui Beilei’ entered his ears, Wei Xiaobao was stunned. That day, in the Princess’ bedroom in the Palace, she took the role of a servant and attended to him, she also addressed him as ‘Gui Beilei’. Right now hearing her calling him intimately with the same appellation, he could not stop his heart from being moved. He heard her speaking in a soft voice, “Gui Beilei, please spare your servant. If you are not happy, just whip your servant to vent your anger.”

    Wei Xiaobao said, “If I don’t whip you ruthlessly, it will be difficult to purge the hatred from my heart.” Putting down the candle, he picked up the whip and lashed it out on her.

    The Princess cried softly, “Aiyo, aiyo!” She closed her charming eyes into a slit, yet there was a hint of smile on her cherry lips, as if she was experiencing an unspeakable comfort.

    “S1ut,” Wei Xiaobao cursed, “Are you happy?”

    The Princess replied softly, “I … your servant is a s1ut; would Gui Beilei hit me a bit harder, please? Aiyo!”

    Wei Xiaobao tossed the whip away. “I won’t hit you!” he said. Turning around, he tried to find his clothes, but did not know where she had hidden them. “Where is my clothes?” he asked.

    “Please,” the Princess said, “Help me fix my dislocated joints, let … let your servant attend Gui Beilei to dress.”

    Wei Xiaobao mused, “Although this s1ut is weird, the Emperor has sent me to escort her to Yunnan. I can’t kill her.” He cursed, “F*ck your granny, you are a stinky little girl.” He continued in his heart, “Your Ma is the old wh0re, laozi does not have any appetite for her. Your granny does not have anything good in her, but laozi has never seen her.”

    “Isn’t it fun?” the Princess asked.

    “Your granny is fun,” Wei Xiaobao angrily replied. Lifting up her arm, he located the joint, and tried hard to fix it. But he did not know the technique to set broken bones; it was only after several tries was he finally able to fix the dislocated joint. The Princess did not stop crying ‘aiyo, aiyo!’ from the pain.

    By the time her dislocated leg joint was fixed, the Princess was leaning over his back. The two people’s bare skin and flesh touched, Wei Xiaobao felt his lips dry his tongue parched, while his heart was burning. “Could you just sit down?” he said, “If you are like this, laozi might treat you as my wife.”

    “But I want you to treat me as your wife,” the Princess said intimately. Her arms embraced him tight. Wei Xiaobao struggled lightly, he wanted to push her away, but the Princess pulled him and planted a kiss on his lips.

    Immediately Wei Xiaobao felt his head spinning and his vision blurred, followed by his heart fluttering, as if he was inside the cloud and mist. He suddenly found out that the s1ut, fox-spirit in front of his eyes was unspeakably pretty and adorable. The red candles in the room went out one by one. Wei Xiaobao was in between asleep and awake states, his mind was fuzzy, he had no conscience where he was.

    In his blurry, dazed state, suddenly he head Ah Ke’s voice outside the window, “Xiaobao, are you in there?”

    Wei Xiaobao was startled, instantly he woke up from a beautiful dream. “I am here,” he replied.

    “What are you doing? Why are you still here?” Ah Ke angrily asked.

    Wei Xiaobao panicked. “Yes!” he said, “I am not … not doing anything.” He wanted to shove the Princess away and get out of the bed, but the Princess firmly embraced him.

    “Don’t go,” she said quietly, “Tell her to get the hell out of here. Who is she anyway?”

    “She … she is my wife,” Wei Xiaobao said.

    The Princess said, “I … I am you wife, she is not.”

    Ah Ke was ashamed and angry at the same time. She stomped her feet, turned around and left.

    “Shijie, Shijie!” Wei Xiaobao called out. He did not hear any reply. Suddenly a pair of warm and soft lips closed his own, so that he could not call anymore.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This is it, no more daily update from now on. There is only a bit left of Chapter 29, perhaps I can post it in a couple of days.

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