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Thread: Asian Men returning to homeland to find Wife

  1. #21
    Senior Member Dirt's Avatar
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    The idea that people married for love is a rather recent one. In times past, it was always about opportunity and stability.

    Seriously, it's not much different in developed countries. I don't know how old you are, but once you pass about 30, I think you'll start to understand. Whether you're married or have a boyfriend or still single or not.
    Last edited by Dirt; 09-02-10 at 12:06 PM.

  2. #22
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Candide and RWX - read my first post again and you'll see that I said I didn't read the thread and anything I posted was meant as a joke rather than something serious. Lighten up, kids.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  3. #23
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jadebunny9 View Post
    Because women in Asia can cook, clean, and give birth while not being too much into the whole Miss Independent thing. Though unfortunately, some of them pick up on Western women's traits when they come to America.
    LoL! I'll give you that they can give birth...but I have some contentions about their ability to cook and clean. They weren't any better than me when I was in Asia as far as cooking and cleaning, but certainly I had some problems with the having children aspect since I've got a career and higher education to pursue. For the right man, I'd be willing to follow him. A lot of the girls I knew who had foreign bfs or husbands got pregnant really quickly to ensure a marriage license...or at least a roof over their head.

    Hey, you do what you have to do right?
    I like me.

  4. #24
    Senior Member mind_wander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    Hey panda, I know this is an issue of some personal significance to you from prev. conversations, so I'll try to break it down as clinically as possible.

    Let's say you're looking for a car, and you want a car of a certain calibre. In the US, the car not only costs a lot, but takes up too much maintenance. It breaks down all the time, its finicky about what gas it takes, the repairs are arsed expensive, etc. Oh, and it's a pain in the *** to buy...and if someone else steals your car, you lose your house as collateral. But hey, in the US, them's the works. You don't like it/aren't willing to put up with it? Tough. You aint getting it.

    But let's say if you travel to Asia, you can get a nice Asian car that runs as fast (if not faster) and looks as good (if not better) than the US-made car. It doesn't take as much maintenance, it doesn't break down as often...basically, it's as good of a car, and less of a pain in the butt. And it costs less. And it's easier to close the deal.

    Why in the world wouldn't you want to get the Asian car instead? Why would I want to do more work/improve myself for an inferior product?

    It's not a matter of standards/maintenance; it's a matter of "bang for your buck". If I meet the standards for a girl of a certain calibre in the U.S., you can be darn sure that I meet the standards for a girl of a 'higher' calibre outside of it. Or, to put it another way, if I'm handsome and well-off and can get an "9" in the U.S., I can still do better and get a "10" overseas.

    Yes, U.S. girls do have some advantages; as they are in the U.S., they can have better paying jobs, etc. But most of those advantages aren't really in areas that most guys care about. A major factor for girls in deciding on a guy is his job/stability. Vice versa isn't true.

    That's not to say that there aren't issues that comes up in international marriages of course; from language issues to cultural issues, there can be plenty of roadblocks as well. But for people from whom that isn't an issue (like overseas Asians who keep up w/the culture back home) or for people are willing to work past them...
    I like how you put this out as a good anology,as most people joke around with this one.Buying a car is like taking care another wife and much much more.

    Currently,I am watching The Duke of Mount Deer 2008,although some of these 7 wives of Wei Xiao Bao is part fictional and semi-real.I kind of layed this out for some of the guys on the forum who is reading this.Which would you pick out of the bunch?Since we are on this subject,it would give some idea what the guys are looking for a potential wife:

    Fang Yi (first wife)
    The proud, jealous, and somewhat selfish but beautiful. Fang Yi is the first one WXB forced to marry him^^ She was from a rebel society, and during an attack to the palace, she was injured and WXB saved her. Her boyfriend was captured and she asked WXB's help. As a return, WXB asked her to be his wife, if he managed to help her boyfriend^^ At first, Fang Yi hates WXB, but slowly she grow feelings for him.

    Mu Jianping (most innocent wife)
    Young, naive, and innocent countess of previous dynasty. She's Fang Yi's martial arts sister.

    Shuang Er (most loyal wife)
    Loyal and dutiful maid of Wei Xiao Bao. During his adventure, WXB was considered helping a ladies' society to get their revenge, so they gave him Shuang Er as a present, to be his maid. She looks cute and petite but very strong and has a high martial arts skill. Her weapon is a whip. I really love her costume. And somehow she looks cool in fight scenes, maybe it's her Chun Lee hairstyle^^ She is so kind and she loves WXB very much expecting nothing in return. Instead, she helps WXB to get more wives xD

    Princess Jian Ning (looniest wife)
    The haughty, jealous, spoiled, sadomasochistic princess of the realm. The Emperor's little sister. She falls madly in love with Wei Xiao Bao, coz WXB had enough courage to stand up against her, when she tried to torture him.

    Su Quan (the wives leader)
    She is formerly the wife of Leader Hong of Mythical Dragon Island. Beautiful, cunning, smart, deadly, resourceful, undoubted elder sister and leader of WXB wives. She was not romantically involved with WXB (in fact, WXB is scared of her), until she's pregnant with WXB's child xD

    Zheng Rou (the vase-like wife)
    Adorable, innocent, and more or less irrelevant in the plot. She's a very unimportant character^^ She's a member of another rebel society, and she was involved in a life or death bet with WXB, who tried to decide with dices.

    A Ke (the most loved wife)
    Stunningly beautiful, stubborn yet naive. Wei Xiao Bao falls in love with her at first sight and swore to himself that he had to make her as his wife, no matter what.

    Source:http://yanie02.livejournal.com/13400.html

    I think when Jin Yong,wrote this as a fantasy wife for the guys.Shuang'er is like the guys ideal wife,who's very loyal Quite rare these days,but they do exist.
    Last edited by mind_wander; 09-02-10 at 09:15 PM.
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  5. #25
    Senior Member mind_wander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    TC, it's only you who thinks dating American chicks is some kind of achievement.

    Hang on, let me correct that: dating any female member of our species for you is a great achievement.

    There are many many men around the world who've never been to America yet have planted American flags, myself included with a modest count, while you, born and raised there, have zero. Stop creating opportunities to embarrass yourself.

    pandamao, you can compare the posts from the men (like RWX and mine) and women like xJadedx and see for yourself how you - as a woman - shouldn't bother asking other women about this topic, because they are not capable of telling you the truth.

    This isn't to say that there aren't exceptions. There's one white American woman married to a Korean American I know who, despite my strict anti-marriage stance, is my idea of an ideal wife. However, they hardly make women like her anymore, and the majority are lost causes.

    Btw xJadedx, that's a gigantic logic fail you had there.
    Just an insane thought,but what about Asian-American married a Japanese-American or Japanese.I wondered what the family on both sides would think about this one?I am just guessing don't quote me on this:Japanese females are loyal to the males,if they find stablity,trust,money,status,etc.They would stick to the very end or big disgrace from her family.
    Last edited by mind_wander; 09-02-10 at 09:25 PM.
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  6. #26
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    jadebunny: yeah that's what you get for putting good pure foods into a dirty bowl. America / the West ruin good women.

    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post
    LoL! I'll give you that they can give birth...but I have some contentions about their ability to cook and clean. They weren't any better than me when I was in Asia as far as cooking and cleaning
    Unfortunately as Western feminism is infecting Asia, young Asian women these days also suck at cooking and cleaning just as much as Western women do. Also, Asian pop culture has made them androgynous - like little teenage boys. My mum constantly complains about both aspects.

    My anti-marriage stance aside, I'm certainly not returning to my homeland to get a wife. Hell no.

    That's why Eastern Europe and Latin America are all the rage these days because women there can still cook and look like women. Or in other words: they're feminine. None of this trying hard to be like a man crap.

    mind_wander: I don't know much about Japanese American. As for Japanese, I dated one (her parents hated me because I'm neither Japanese nor white) and know a few of them, but as a whole they're just weird and not my taste.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  7. #27
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mind_wander View Post
    Just an insane thought,but what about Asian-American married a Japanese-American or Japanese.I wondered what the family on both sides would think about this one?I am just guessing don't quote me on this:Japanese females are loyal to the males,if they find stablity,trust,money,status,etc.They would stick to the very end or big disgrace from her family.
    Not anymore; that's my gradmas generation.
    o wilku mowa...♪

    The only thing I need to know is that I don't know anything.

  8. #28
    Senior Member mind_wander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    jadebunny: yeah that's what you get for putting good pure foods into a dirty bowl. America / the West ruin good women.



    Unfortunately as Western feminism is infecting Asia, young Asian women these days also suck at cooking and cleaning just as much as Western women do. Also, Asian pop culture has made them androgynous - like little teenage boys. My mum constantly complains about both aspects.

    My anti-marriage stance aside, I'm certainly not returning to my homeland to get a wife. Hell no.

    That's why Eastern Europe and Latin America are all the rage these days because women there can still cook and look like women. Or in other words: they're feminine. None of this trying hard to be like a man crap.

    mind_wander: I don't know much about Japanese American. As for Japanese, I dated one (her parents hated me because I'm neither Japanese nor white) and know a few of them, but as a whole they're just weird and not my taste.
    I thought you might respond with this reply,they already put us into a certain category already case and point.Its ok to be side by side,but not really together.
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  9. #29
    Senior Member mind_wander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucre View Post
    Not anymore; that's my gradmas generation.
    I am guessing the current Japanese youth generation is slowly forgetting about their past history.They tend to be more westernized,still weird at the same time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    jadebunny: yeah that's what you get for putting good pure foods into a dirty bowl. America / the West ruin good women.



    Unfortunately as Western feminism is infecting Asia, young Asian women these days also suck at cooking and cleaning just as much as Western women do. Also, Asian pop culture has made them androgynous - like little teenage boys. My mum constantly complains about both aspects.

    My anti-marriage stance aside, I'm certainly not returning to my homeland to get a wife. Hell no.

    That's why Eastern Europe and Latin America are all the rage these days because women there can still cook and look like women. Or in other words: they're feminine. None of this trying hard to be like a man crap.

    mind_wander: I don't know much about Japanese American. As for Japanese, I dated one (her parents hated me because I'm neither Japanese nor white) and know a few of them, but as a whole they're just weird and not my taste.
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  10. #30
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    If you want a woman who can cook and clean, get a maid.

    That aside, it does surprise me how many girls I know who can't cook properly. I mean, it's a basic skill you need to survive even if you're into feminism bullshit. But whatever, not a problem that concerns me.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  11. #31
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    It's not that I need a woman for cooking and cleaning. I can cook pretty well and my place is always clean. It's the feminine nurturing quality that comes from those that I'm after. Women who can't cook & clean don't understand the art of loving.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  12. #32
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Fair enough, though why would you even care, given your stance on these types of things.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  13. #33
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xJadedx View Post
    If you want a woman who can cook and clean, get a maid.

    That aside, it does surprise me how many girls I know who can't cook properly. I mean, it's a basic skill you need to survive even if you're into feminism bullshit. But whatever, not a problem that concerns me.
    i cant cook very well, but then again i survived nicely on boiled foods and raw ones. dont see a need to pick up that skill. I just need to fill my tummy, since my tastebuds are horribly insensitive. The problem begins when others have to endure my crap-cooking. but that's their problem ^_~
    o wilku mowa...♪

    The only thing I need to know is that I don't know anything.

  14. #34
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    sorry for the late response, created this thread and left it hanging but i just finished my exam and i'm back on full-force!

    =====
    Fobs put on a front and pretend to be everything men ever want because they want a better life. Men fall for it and really, these men fall madly in love with them.

    And like someone mentioned earlier, the fobby babes adapts to the american control and understands all this and leaves the men, irregardless of the family that was created. they started off w/o the embedded emotional attachment and they leave the same way.

    yeah - they are better than all westernized asians in "pretending" to be subordinate but they once they know better - they will leave.

    if all men are okay with this ... then that's fine.

    i understand what all the guys are thinking, candide and rwx. i just don't think there's any logic behind throwing yourself into a pool of sharks. men always think they can tame these fobby babes but they are all after your money. they want the freedom. that's it.

    u can try to name exceptions but i believe this is the truth.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  15. #35
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    I don't really think that's the point those two guys were trying to make though.

    At any rate, I don't know enough about Asian or American women's habits to generalize anything, nor is it of any significance to me. If I was ever single and looking for girls, I'd go for European anyway :P.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  16. #36
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xJadedx View Post
    I don't really think that's the point those two guys were trying to make though.

    At any rate, I don't know enough about Asian or American women's habits to generalize anything, nor is it of any significance to me. If I was ever single and looking for girls, I'd go for European anyway :P.
    i know they were stating the reasoning ... i am just wondering if it ever occurred to them that those women have other motives.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  17. #37
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    I think the guys are a bit smarter than that.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  18. #38
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    i guess regardless ... most marriages end in divorce.

    pretty sad.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  19. #39
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xJadedx View Post
    Fair enough, though why would you even care, given your stance on these types of things.
    I'm anti marriage, not anti relationship or woman.

    pandamao, I think you still don't understand what we said at all.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  20. #40
    Senior Member kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    I'm anti marriage, not anti relationship or woman.
    You are not anti-woman?

    Surprised to hear that because all your statements about women sound like what man-haters would say about men.
    Last edited by kidd; 09-04-10 at 02:46 AM.
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