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Thread: Asian Men returning to homeland to find Wife

  1. #41
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Now I'm just hoping for Candide to reply with some form of Charlie Harper retort.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  2. #42
    Senior Member kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xJadedx View Post
    Now I'm just hoping for Candide to reply with some form of Charlie Harper retort.
    What is Charlie Harper's usual retort like?

    I check him out in wiki and all I get is
    Charley Harper (August 4, 1922 - June 10, 2007) was a Cincinnati-based American Modernist artist. He was best known for his highly stylized wildlife prints, posters and book illustrations.
    Didn't mention anything about his retort.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  3. #43
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    sorry for the late response, created this thread and left it hanging but i just finished my exam and i'm back on full-force!

    =====
    Fobs put on a front and pretend to be everything men ever want because they want a better life. Men fall for it and really, these men fall madly in love with them.

    And like someone mentioned earlier, the fobby babes adapts to the american control and understands all this and leaves the men, irregardless of the family that was created. they started off w/o the embedded emotional attachment and they leave the same way.

    yeah - they are better than all westernized asians in "pretending" to be subordinate but they once they know better - they will leave.

    if all men are okay with this ... then that's fine.

    i understand what all the guys are thinking, candide and rwx. i just don't think there's any logic behind throwing yourself into a pool of sharks. men always think they can tame these fobby babes but they are all after your money. they want the freedom. that's it.

    u can try to name exceptions but i believe this is the truth.
    lol. Sorry, but with respect, you have no idea what you're talking about. You have a view of 'fobby girls' as girls from poor countries who have no way out besides seducing and beguiling us silly, naive men. Not nearly the case; it does occasionally tend to be more true for girls who chase after white guys in Asia, but even then, not always.

    There are shit-tons of money in Asia now. Lots of modern-day 'fobs' who come from China come from families which are loaded as hell, certainly more than yours and mine. If the family can afford to get the girl to the US and pay around $50,000 US for a public school each year, it's a pretty damn well-off family. And the girls who are still in China? If they look good and come from a decent background and who have a decent attitude, they have rich guys literally swarming over them. They have plenty of guys after them; they don't need to go to the US to have the 'good life', since they have it here already!'

    As for 'putting up a front' re attitude, etc...how often do you go to Asia/China? They're not putting up a front; that's how they act in their 'natural habitat'. Now granted, some do change when they come to the 'West'...but that's a whole 'nother topic.

    PS: Being more 'feminine' doesn't necessarily mean being more 'submissive' (and for the record, Asian girls can be very good at getting their way). The fact that you automatically equate the two is actually a good example of why Candide says that modern Western women have lost their feminity.
    Last edited by Ren Wo Xing; 09-04-10 at 03:32 AM.
    Blademaster. Hero. General. He was the best there ever was.
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  4. #44
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    You are not anti-woman?

    Surprised to hear that because all your statements about women sound like what man-haters would say about men.
    I'm anti-feminist. Not anti-woman. I love women despite knowing about their dark side.

    It's the guys who have nothing but good stuff to say about women that are the biggest misogynists in the making (by women themselves).

    But all of that is just fluff anyway. No man can hate women as much as women hate each other.

    Quote Originally Posted by RWX
    PS: Being more 'feminine' doesn't necessarily mean being more 'submissive' (and for the record, Asian girls can be very good at getting their way). The fact that you automatically equate the two is actually a good example of why Candide says that modern Western women have lost their feminity.
    She does that because it's straight off the feminist brain-washing curriculum which has taken over school education in the West.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  5. #45
    Senior Member Lucre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    No man can hate women as much as women hate each other.
    i realized, and I like it that men are still like this. There are way too much advantages being around men because most of them will always be extremely helpful just by the virtue that you're a woman.

    I don't know which set of feminist-chicks you're against though...I don't ever try to proof I can better the guys in their jobs, else they would never do them for me anymore.

    Usually, a smile is all it takes to get the guys to move.
    o wilku mowa...♪

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  6. #46
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    lol. Sorry, but with respect, you have no idea what you're talking about. You have a view of 'fobby girls' as girls from poor countries who have no way out besides seducing and beguiling us silly, naive men. Not nearly the case; it does occasionally tend to be more true for girls who chase after white guys in Asia, but even then, not always.

    There are shit-tons of money in Asia now. Lots of modern-day 'fobs' who come from China come from families which are loaded as hell, certainly more than yours and mine. If the family can afford to get the girl to the US and pay around $50,000 US for a public school each year, it's a pretty damn well-off family. And the girls who are still in China? If they look good and come from a decent background and who have a decent attitude, they have rich guys literally swarming over them. They have plenty of guys after them; they don't need to go to the US to have the 'good life', since they have it here already!'

    As for 'putting up a front' re attitude, etc...how often do you go to Asia/China? They're not putting up a front; that's how they act in their 'natural habitat'. Now granted, some do change when they come to the 'West'...but that's a whole 'nother topic.

    PS: Being more 'feminine' doesn't necessarily mean being more 'submissive' (and for the record, Asian girls can be very good at getting their way). The fact that you automatically equate the two is actually a good example of why Candide says that modern Western women have lost their feminity.
    no u are right. i keep thinking of my situation as the world's situation.
    the world has change .. it's different now. i get it.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  7. #47
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    no u are right. i keep thinking of my situation as the world's situation.
    the world has change .. it's different now. i get it.


    *hugs* okay?
    Blademaster. Hero. General. He was the best there ever was.
    Butcher. Murderer. Traitor. All that he loved, he had destroyed.
    Matheius Randas.
    That Merciless Blade - Legend of the Arctic Wolf.

  8. #48
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post


    *hugs* okay?
    thank you. i guess i opened this threading hoping to vent out all my frustrations.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  9. #49
    Senior Member xJadedx's Avatar
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    Just wondering, why are you frusterated about this in particular? You don't have to share if it's too personal.
    Because I'm somewhere in between,
    My love and my agony.

  10. #50
    Senior Member pandamao's Avatar
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    a couple of years ago, my friend's parent went through a divorce and her dad was one of those that went back to the mainlands to marry. the wife cheated on the husband repeatedly but he kept giving her a chance. and now that all the wife's family is in America now (he was no longer useful), she finally left him for good. the father went through depression and felt he lost the love of his life.

    and recently, my friend told me her father went back to mainland to remarry after meeting the woman for a relatively short period of time.

    i guess - for me, hearing about this is pretty frustrating. my friend's stepmom is about 15+ years younger and she's very nice looking as well.

    i should not make any assumptions on the step-mom but i'm meeting her under the impression, she wanted a better life for her and her son.
    Hatred is a curve blade. The harm we do to others, we also do to ourselves.

    i tell you, some ppl argue for the sake of arguing.

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    a couple of years ago, my friend's parent went through a divorce and her dad was one of those that went back to the mainlands to marry. the wife cheated on the husband repeatedly but he kept giving her a chance. and now that all the wife's family is in America now (he was no longer useful), she finally left him for good. the father went through depression and felt he lost the love of his life.

    and recently, my friend told me her father went back to mainland to remarry after meeting the woman for a relatively short period of time.

    i guess - for me, hearing about this is pretty frustrating. my friend's stepmom is about 15+ years younger and she's very nice looking as well.

    i should not make any assumptions on the step-mom but i'm meeting her under the impression, she wanted a better life for her and her son.
    I guess it's difficult for women, who already have children, in mainland china to find a decent man locally so they have to settle for foreign men. As for your friend dad, if he is smart, he would have go for young and single woman and make sure impregnant her before sponsor her to the USA.

  12. #52
    Senior Member Candide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandamao View Post
    a couple of years ago, my friend's parent went through a divorce and her dad was one of those that went back to the mainlands to marry. the wife cheated on the husband repeatedly but he kept giving her a chance. and now that all the wife's family is in America now (he was no longer useful), she finally left him for good. the father went through depression and felt he lost the love of his life.

    and recently, my friend told me her father went back to mainland to remarry after meeting the woman for a relatively short period of time.

    i guess - for me, hearing about this is pretty frustrating. my friend's stepmom is about 15+ years younger and she's very nice looking as well.

    i should not make any assumptions on the step-mom but i'm meeting her under the impression, she wanted a better life for her and her son.
    That's pretty mild. I can tell you many of much much worse stories of divorces between Americans (or pick any Western country you like).

    The moral of your story is not about marrying women from the homeland. It is this: if the guy is a chump who places women on a pedestal and dives into marriage head first, it doesn't matter where his wife comes from, he will still get fvcked over. And in America & the West, he will definitely get reamed by the divorce industry and the ironically named Family Court, whereas he may just get away with it (being a dumb & obedient provider for his family) elsewhere in the world where misandry isn't running rampant.

    It's a much harsher world than you think, kid, so toughen up.
    "Anything you can't say NO to is your MASTER, and you are its SLAVE."

    "I disapprove of what I say, but I will defend to the death my right to say it."

  13. #53
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candide View Post
    That's pretty mild. I can tell you many of much much worse stories of divorces between Americans (or pick any Western country you like).

    The moral of your story is not about marrying women from the homeland. It is this: if the guy is a chump who places women on a pedestal and dives into marriage head first, it doesn't matter where his wife comes from, he will still get fvcked over. And in America & the West, he will definitely get reamed by the divorce industry and the ironically named Family Court, whereas he may just get away with it (being a dumb & obedient provider for his family) elsewhere in the world where misandry isn't running rampant.

    It's a much harsher world than you think, kid, so toughen up.


    I know a man, who had a common law wife, who found themselves in a pickle too. The wife had a cousin deep in poverty back in the homeland with four children. So she asked her common law husband to legally marry the cousin and bring the woman and her four children to America so that they could all have a good future, very important for the kids n all. Well, that's what he did for his wife. This couple managed to put their own through kids through college with a good bit of retirement left over. After he brought the cousin and all four of her children over, he and his wife let them live rent free in a separate home which they also owned. In time, the lady and her children all got their green cards and whatever and the kids were allowed to start school and blah and blah.

    And then she [the cousin] and husband started divorce proceedings. She ended up suing him for a large portion of his assets that he accumulated with his common law wife though decades of blood, sweat, and tears. Something about he married her over as a kept woman when in fact he already had a wife and blah and blah. The woman was not successful though. But she got the house that previously belonged to the couple because the couple just wanted to cut her out of their lives with that home as a bargaining chip.

    Some people are just so ungrateful. The man is my dad.
    I like me.

  14. #54
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    Good story to share, ByTmE. A good lesson to learn from your dad.
    Last edited by Trien Chieu; 09-07-10 at 01:22 AM.

  15. #55
    Senior Member Guo Xiang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post


    I know a man, who had a common law wife, who found themselves in a pickle too. The wife had a cousin deep in poverty back in the homeland with four children. So she asked her common law husband to legally marry the cousin and bring the woman and her four children to America so that they could all have a good future, very important for the kids n all. Well, that's what he did for his wife. This couple managed to put their own through kids through college with a good bit of retirement left over. After he brought the cousin and all four of her children over, he and his wife let them live rent free in a separate home which they also owned. In time, the lady and her children all got their green cards and whatever and the kids were allowed to start school and blah and blah.

    And then she [the cousin] and husband started divorce proceedings. She ended up suing him for a large portion of his assets that he accumulated with his common law wife though decades of blood, sweat, and tears. Something about he married her over as a kept woman when in fact he already had a wife and blah and blah. The woman was not successful though. But she got the house that previously belonged to the couple because the couple just wanted to cut her out of their lives with that home as a bargaining chip.

    Some people are just so ungrateful. The man is my dad.
    Sometime in life people got so blinded by their greed they do not really know what they have lost in the process. Your mom's cousin lost much more than just the court case.
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  16. #56
    Senior Member kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post


    I know a man, who had a common law wife, who found themselves in a pickle too. The wife had a cousin deep in poverty back in the homeland with four children. So she asked her common law husband to legally marry the cousin and bring the woman and her four children to America so that they could all have a good future, very important for the kids n all. Well, that's what he did for his wife. This couple managed to put their own through kids through college with a good bit of retirement left over. After he brought the cousin and all four of her children over, he and his wife let them live rent free in a separate home which they also owned. In time, the lady and her children all got their green cards and whatever and the kids were allowed to start school and blah and blah.

    And then she [the cousin] and husband started divorce proceedings. She ended up suing him for a large portion of his assets that he accumulated with his common law wife though decades of blood, sweat, and tears. Something about he married her over as a kept woman when in fact he already had a wife and blah and blah. The woman was not successful though. But she got the house that previously belonged to the couple because the couple just wanted to cut her out of their lives with that home as a bargaining chip.

    Some people are just so ungrateful. The man is my dad.
    Wow, this is really one ungrateful person. But, how can your dad marry her when he already has a wife? Isn't that illegal?
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  17. #57
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post


    I know a man, who had a common law wife, who found themselves in a pickle too. The wife had a cousin deep in poverty back in the homeland with four children. So she asked her common law husband to legally marry the cousin and bring the woman and her four children to America so that they could all have a good future, very important for the kids n all. Well, that's what he did for his wife. This couple managed to put their own through kids through college with a good bit of retirement left over. After he brought the cousin and all four of her children over, he and his wife let them live rent free in a separate home which they also owned. In time, the lady and her children all got their green cards and whatever and the kids were allowed to start school and blah and blah.

    And then she [the cousin] and husband started divorce proceedings. She ended up suing him for a large portion of his assets that he accumulated with his common law wife though decades of blood, sweat, and tears. Something about he married her over as a kept woman when in fact he already had a wife and blah and blah. The woman was not successful though. But she got the house that previously belonged to the couple because the couple just wanted to cut her out of their lives with that home as a bargaining chip.

    Some people are just so ungrateful. The man is my dad.
    I'm sorry to read about this.

    Justice was on your dad's side. However, I believe retribution would still go over and catch up with that woman some time.
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  18. #58
    Moderator Ren Wo Xing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Wow, this is really one ungrateful person. But, how can your dad marry her when he already has a wife? Isn't that illegal?
    Commonlaw marriages can be a bit funky though, but in addition (and more importantly), marriage solely for the purpose of immigration is a violation of immigration law and is a federal crime. It's not prosecuted that often on an individual level (much more often for large scale rings), but it is on the books as being punishable by up to five years of prison time and $250,000. [US Code - Title 8, Section 1325 (c)]. Take it from someone who is handling immigrant visa interviews and screening for fraud.

    I fully sympathize with ByTmE's father, who went into this with no doubt the best of intentions, but there were a lot of bad decisions made here...
    Blademaster. Hero. General. He was the best there ever was.
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  19. #59
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Wo Xing View Post
    I fully sympathize with ByTmE's father, who went into this with no doubt the best of intentions, but there were a lot of bad decisions made here...
    Where were you when I needed you? Truly some bad decisions!

    I told my mommy that her relatives were...AHEM not the best of people to be doing favors for. Usually in the cases of such marriages, sometimes it's the newly immigrated that get the short end of the stick. That's what all those anti-trafficking laws are for. However, other times, it's the ones trying to help out others that are short changed. Situations like this occur a lot in our community. But they're not always as serious, public, or cluster fvcked as ours, and it gets solved amongst the couples before it reaches the courts...because then they'll all have a hard time haha. I've seen many happily married [younger couples with no attachments] couples, just to give hope to all the young men who want to go back to the native land to find girls. In fact, more often than not, it will work out. I have a 68 year old neighbor who is currently married to a 33 year old. He married her when he was 57 and she was 22...11 years still going strong. Some of my cousins [yes, males] are also married to distant cousins from the homeland. It's not as incestuous as it sounds, I promise.

    And then sometimes you hear the horror stories. Dude yo'...wouldn't believe some of the smack I get to hear. Well, unless your RWX, maybe he's heard some outrageous ones.

    I personally did not really feel that bad when this was going down...eehhh so keep the cries of foul to a minimum...in truth I thought they brought it upon themselves. I'm sorry, I am the "I told you so" type. In person, I told the lady that she could keep my dad. I some said other things too which I will keep to myself.

    Some good things also came out of this, it reinforced my parents' love for one another, and...well some other things I will keep to myself again.
    I like me.

  20. #60
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    You know, now that I think about it...I don't have any female cousins that went back home to look for husbands. Not that it doesn't happen, but then we [as in the community, including myself] just assume that she's probably uneducated, or ugly...ehhh possibly poor with no means to support herself or parents...and a flagrant wh0re, or all of the above.

    Man, isn't that kind of a double standard? I am vexed with myself.
    I like me.

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