Do you think we should have a thread here about what we don't like about each other?

[Ken Cheng]

All right. Some of us have "known" each other here at the SPCNET Forums for years and years. We've had some good times together and some bad times together. Sometimes, we make each other laugh or think, and sometimes...we piss the hell out of each other.

Do you guys think it would be a good idea for us to all start a thread here to "clear the air" among us...to respectfully, but earnestly discuss what it is about each other we don't like, or do you think that's just asking for disaster?

[xJadedx]

I suggested something like this with the Confessionals thread.

[Ken Cheng]

I suggested something like this with the Confessionals thread.

Let's see what the response is this time. We'll give people a few weeks to decide and go with the majority flow.

If most members do decide that they want to do this, however, we'll probably need to establish some ground rules so that it doesn't turn into a disaster.

[Vic85]

i vote for No but u can give it a try and see how hell breaks loose :-)

[xJadedx]

Let's see what the response is this time. We'll give people a few weeks to decide and go with the majority flow.

If most members do decide that they want to do this, however, we'll probably need to establish some ground rules so that it doesn't turn into a disaster.

Essentially, a confessional lets one member at a time write about what they feel about others. Others can choose to ask for the opinion or not. This way, you avoid unnecessary or repeated confrontation, and just receive others' opinions of you.

[Suet Seung]

I don't see how this is a good idea. It's like opening a can of worms or Pandora's box.

so Ken, you got something to say about certain people or you just want to know what people really think of you? Are you sure you can handle the truth?


If people love, hate, like, or dislike a person here for some reason, feel free to PM that person and air it out between you two. But I don't see how we, mods, should allow this Pandora's box of truth to happen. Somethings are best left unsaid or spoken between those people. It's nobody else's business to know. And it's not exactly promoting something good on the SPCNET forum. Therefore, I vote against it.

[Ken Cheng]

i vote for No but u can give it a try and see how hell breaks loose :-)

If we do decide to do it, the idea is to *not* let hell break loose.

Essentially, a confessional lets one member at a time write about what they feel about others. Others can choose to ask for the opinion or not. This way, you avoid unnecessary or repeated confrontation, and just receive others' opinions of you.

If the time comes that we decide to do it, I might need your help in coordinating/organizing it.

[Ken Cheng]

I don't see how this is a good idea. It's like opening a can of worms or Pandora's box.

Or, it could be the solution to problems that have been festering in the background for a long, long time anyway.

so Ken, you got something to say about certain people or you just want to know what people really think of you? Are you sure you can handle the truth?

Both, and it's not just for me. Many people might benefit from this, provided that it's managed successfully (the devil is in the details).

I have no illusions that everyone is going to like everything that gets aired in such a thread, but if managed skillfully through some well-conceived rules...we might be able to pull it off.

If people love, hate, like, or dislike a person here for some reason, feel free to PM that person and air it out between you two. But I don't see how we, mods, should allow this Pandora's box of truth to happen. Somethings are best left unsaid or spoken between those people. It's nobody else's business to know. And it's not exactly promoting something good on the SPCNET forum. Therefore, I vote against it.

The thing about forum dynamics, however, is that it's a network of relationships...not a series of separate, parallel relationships. If we relied on Private Messages alone, things would probably never happen in the first place and second, there'd be nothing like a community consensus on anything.

This, however, has the potential to break down walls of distrust and suspicion. It might be better to have it all out in one open thread than to have people privately snipe it out through innuendos for years and years.

In any case, I'm not deciding whether we do it or not. At the end of September, we'll look at this poll and see what the majority decides and act upon that.

[xJadedx]

I don't see how this is a good idea. It's like opening a can of worms or Pandora's box.

so Ken, you got something to say about certain people or you just want to know what people really think of you? Are you sure you can handle the truth?


If people love, hate, like, or dislike a person here for some reason, feel free to PM that person and air it out between you two. But I don't see how we, mods, should allow this Pandora's box of truth to happen. Somethings are best left unsaid or spoken between those people. It's nobody else's business to know. And it's not exactly promoting something good on the SPCNET forum. Therefore, I vote against it.

The point isn't really to start flame wars but rather, to just see what people think of each other. I personally don't see it as realistic for people to PM each other about how they feel towards each other just like that. Also, it wouldn't be limited to only negative things. A lot of people are quite interested in hearing what others have to say about them and other members.

The other forum where we did this, the results were actually very well taken. People who asked for opinions took them very well, irregardless of good or bad. People who provided opinions also were able to give good explanations and reasons, rather than flaming. Again, it's up to the members' own discretion - if you worry you can't handle what people will say, don't ask for a confessional. If you do, bear in mind people may not be so positive and be prepared to take it. If you decide to do a confessional, don't just do it so you can bash random people.

Also, just to point out that the other forum I go to has little to no moderation, so with all the moderation here, I really don't think things will get out of hand.

[xJadedx]

Also, just a suggestions Ken, you may want to change the title of the thread to include what people like about each other as well.

[Ken Cheng]

Also, just a suggestions Ken, you may want to change the title of the thread to include what people like about each other as well.

That might be the next stage (if and when we actually decide to go ahead with the thread). In this thread, all we're looking to do is determine whether or not the majority of forum members believe it would be desirable to have this discussion.

We'll decide after we see the poll results at the end of the month.

[Suet Seung]

If you get SC's permission on this, by all means, create such a thread.

I am still not convinced it is a good idea. I can only see the negative consequences of it.

[Ken Cheng]

I am still not convinced it is a good idea. I can only see the negative consequences of it.

Yeah, but you've never been an optimist.

That would be my first, mild observation about you.

[Suet Seung]

Yeah, but you've never been an optimist.

That would be my first, mild observation about you.

Never been an optimist? Then you truly don't know me at all, my dear Ken.

I'm just being a realistic and cautious (and weighing the consequences) here. If you want this to happen, you write the proposal on how this won't become some sort of popularity contest, alienation/intervention or something that gets out of control because someone couldn't take the truth and decides to put those people on his/her blacklist and grudge against those people. Then pack and leave the forum because he/she can't take it?

[Candide]

Too much attention & drama wh0ring for my taste.

[Banh Mi]

You could stop a massive chain reaction from happening, by enforcing a rule that they can only respond once to a post directed at them per person. Someone says what they think about you. You get 1 chance to reply to that person, and that's it.

[Ken Cheng]

You could stop a massive chain reaction from happening, by enforcing a rule that they can only respond once to a post directed at them per person. Someone says what they think about you. You get 1 chance to reply to that person, and that's it.

I assure you, before we try to do this discussion (assuming we ever do), a set of ground rules and enforcement measures will be taken into consideration and established.

If it's to be done, it surely isn't something to wade into casually and recklessly. If it's to be of any benefit, then it'll need to be managed with great forethought and caution.

[remember_Cedric]

It's nobody else's business to know.

I agree with SS. Aside with the playing PDA to keep the forum alive and to promote some love though.

I won't wield hell until someone starts or give me the reason to. That thread is going to be a fire-starter.

You could stop a massive chain reaction from happening, by enforcing a rule that they can only respond once to a post directed at them per person. Someone says what they think about you. You get 1 chance to reply to that person, and that's it.

That isn't going to help and may not be fair at some points, I feel, but in fact it will cause either party to keep grudge in the heart (depending on situation) and.... soon enough we will need to create a SPCNET mental care thread. Not healthy.

[Ken Cheng]

The final determinant of whether or not we do this is up to the poll at top, so if you're strongly for or against it, make sure to register your vote.

NOTE: if the poll is deadlocked at the end of September, we won't do it. Basically, a plurality (e.g. > 50%) is needed for this proposed thread to go ahead.

But people's remarks here in the thread aren't construed as votes. Only the votes themselves (which are anonymous) will be considered.

So use that poll.

[kidd]

Do you guys think it would be a good idea for us to all start a thread here to "clear the air" among us...to respectfully, but earnestly discuss what it is about each other we don't like, or do you think that's just asking for disaster?

It's just asking for disaster.