What do you think of this?

[Lucre]

to be honest, the person A syndrome is very human, and many people are somewhat like that. person B syndrome is actually rarer.

even though theoretically we can all spot how wrong person A is, many of us do not see the A in ourselves. maybe cos this example is too idealised, like strive hard and good achievements.

Perhaps most of us are struggling with modest achievements...but when we start seeing somebody having an easier life, seriously not even care about the fact that they arent really better than us, and not as 'talented', or 'smart' or whatever, are we so sure we don't start to feel the jealousy?

cos deep down, no amount of wealth and achievement could beat that 'peace of heart' person B possess.

It's not a feeling to be desired, but if we really look into our own lives honestly, can we really say we are truly 'person B'?

[Banh Mi]

It would still reflect very poorly on Tesla if he took offence at people praising Edison just because they didn't praise him more. Demanding praise from the praisers is one thing, putting Edison down simply because he (Tesla) didn't get what he expected (but didn't ask for) is just petty and insecure.

The premise of Person A and Person B isn't that B gets more praise than A. It's that B gets praise at all.
It's like Obama winning the peace prize. What exactly did he do to deserve that? Even an outsider can see that it's unjustified. Person A thinks that Person B doesn't deserve the praise he gets. Tesla points out that Edison isn't as brilliant as people make him out to be. And who knows what went on between Tesla and Edison, they hated each other.
And I'm not saying that it's a good thing for Person A to put down Person B. I said before, he's an asshat for doing it. But I'd understand and wouldn't blame him for giving Person B shit. If I were to do that to a person, obviously they would not be my friend, I'd probably dislike him quite a bit. Normal social norms therefore do not apply.

All people have their strengths and weaknesses, there may be situations where Edison's more exhaustive approach might uncover more information than Tesla's selective and informed one. You, and the other person being praised, cannot control who praises who. If I chose to praise Stefan Edberg for his amazing serve-and volley in the presence of Pete Sampras who was arguably a much better all-round player, Sampras better well accept my comment for what it is - praise for Edberg and none of Sampras' business. He could ask me "Hey, I'm better, aren't you gonna praise me?" but to abuse Edberg would be unacceptable.

Yes, people have their strengths and their weaknesses. But the skill being discussed is what matters at the moment.
Sure your praise for Edberg is none of Sampras bussiness. But Sampras is still free to disagree, then on a whim school Edberg like he was a paraplegic if he so wanted. It's not a virtue, he would be an *** for doing it. But he worked hard for it, if Edberg doesn't like it, he can man up and get better.

There's nothing saying Person A feels that Person B's praise should be his.
Person A is still superior in that regard to Person B, if Person B cares enough that it affects him, he can simply become better and return the favour. If Person A feels that praise for Person B is underserved, he can get out there and show why. This is only an issue because Person B's skills can't support his ego.

[Ian Liew]

Sure your praise for Edberg is none of Sampras bussiness. But Sampras is still free to disagree, then on a whim school Edberg like he was a paraplegic if he so wanted. It's not a virtue, he would be an *** for doing it. But he worked hard for it, if Edberg doesn't like it, he can man up and get better.

In your opinion, if Edberg chose to ignore Sampras and just concentrate on what he does best, does that make him a loser for not living up to A's expectations? And would Sampras be justified in spending his career putting Edberg down publicly and belittling his achievements?

[Ian Liew]

The premise of Person A and Person B isn't that B gets more praise than A. It's that B gets praise at all.

In my opinion, that's even worse than being jealous that someone got more praise than you. It's like "ALL the praise must come to me!!"?

[kay &!*]

"life's unfair, deal with it"
if person A is jealous of the praises person B receives, deal with it so he might be luckier than you, that's life. if it bothers you that much, instead of trying to put person B down, do something even bigger and get recognize. person B is just trying to live life, what do you get out of it by trying to ruin his esteem? yes, it's human to feel the way he feels.. but there's a difference between just quietly thinking to himself and gritting his teeth than to bluntly talk down person B. it's a petty move

if person B feels intimidated by person A, do something to prove your worth's. if you're content, be the bigger person, roll your eyes, and ignore person A. give him the finger while you're at it too

[Banh Mi]

In your opinion, if Edberg chose to ignore Sampras and just concentrate on what he does best, does that make him a loser for not living up to A's expectations? And would Sampras be justified in spending his career putting Edberg down publicly and belittling his achievements?

If he doesn't care and ignores Sampras, why would he care if he's a loser or inferior to Person A? You can't be everything, but if something bothers him, he ought to do something about it.
Justified to whom though? Sampras only has to answer to himself, if that's what he feels he wants to do, that's what he'll do.

In my opinion, that's even worse than being jealous that someone got more praise than you. It's like "ALL the praise must come to me!!"?

Not quite, I mean that no one ought to be praised at all for trivial things, save the praise for something truly remarkable.
If Person B did something spectacular that surpasses what he normally does, and even exceeds Person A, then sure that's worthy of praise. But why fuss over being able to walk in a straight line without falling over.

[Ian Liew]

If he doesn't care and ignores Sampras, why would he care if he's a loser or inferior to Person A? You can't be everything, but if something bothers him, he ought to do something about it.
Justified to whom though? Sampras only has to answer to himself, if that's what he feels he wants to do, that's what he'll do.

I guess for me it's just that the ignoring of such remarks shouldn't be seen by third parties as an admission of inferiority, is all. If criticism is constructive, then of course people should be galvanised into improving themselves, but if criticism is purely selfish and negative, then a person can still ignore the dogs barking and hold their head up high, and third parties would not let the rantings of Person A diminish the stature of Person B in their eyes.

Not quite, I mean that no one ought to be praised at all for trivial things, save the praise for something truly remarkable.
If Person B did something spectacular that surpasses what he normally does, and even exceeds Person A, then sure that's worthy of praise. But why fuss over being able to walk in a straight line without falling over.

It's like a Gold medalist saying "the Silver medalist doesn't deserve any of this praise. I won, he's nothing but a loser." Probably the truth in relative terms, but in absolute terms the Silver medalist certainly played well.

[Banh Mi]

I guess for me it's just that the ignoring of such remarks shouldn't be seen by third parties as an admission of inferiority, is all. If criticism is constructive, then of course people should be galvanised into improving themselves, but if criticism is purely selfish and negative, then a person can still ignore the dogs barking and hold their head up high, and third parties would not let the rantings of Person A diminish the stature of Person B in their eyes.

My general opinion is, **** what the third party or anyone thinks. Person B can take everything Person A says to him with a smile. What third parties think is the least important thing at the moment.

It's like a Gold medalist saying "the Silver medalist doesn't deserve any of this praise. I won, he's nothing but a loser." Probably the truth in relative terms, but in absolute terms the Silver medalist certainly played well.

I agree with you there, it's different in relative and absolute terms.
But fact of the matter remains that the silver medal had to be claimed by someone. The gold medalist might not even deserve praise if he's nothing special. Coming first out of a group of people, nothing special. Breaking world record, yeah that's awesome.

To give an example of what I'm use to.
The current UFC Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar. I think he's a chump. He doesn't deserve his title. Even though he sits on top, he is not worthy of praise, because he did nothing exceptional.
On the other hand, take Urijah Faber. He broke his wrist during the fight, and instead of calling it quits, he proceeded to throw elbows. Or Frank Shamrock, he had his arm broken by Cung Le into the 2nd round, and kept fighting till the end of the 4th. Those guys, doesn't matter how the fight turned out, win lose or draw. They deserve praise. They had balls. It doesn't matter who was or wasn't better than them. They embodied the fighting spirit and showed remarkable heart. That deserves praise.
On the same token, if Aaron Ralston called their feats trivial. I would find it hard to disagree with him, since he is a man who self amputated his arm. He can belittle anyone he wants on the subject of cajones unless they can outdo him.

[Ken Cheng]

On the same token, if Aaron Ralston called their feats trivial. I would find it hard to disagree with him, since he is a man who self amputated his arm. He can belittle anyone he wants on the subject of cajones unless they can outdo him.

He can, but *should* he? Would he deserve rebuke for doing so?

[Ian Liew]

On the same token, if Aaron Ralston called their feats trivial. I would find it hard to disagree with him, since he is a man who self amputated his arm. He can belittle anyone he wants on the subject of cajones unless they can outdo him.

But he could belittle anyone he wants regardless of whether he had amputated his arm or not. The question, for me, is whether his comments make the achievements of the former two people you mentioned any less worthy of the praise you had for them before Ralston called them trivial. To me, they don't. If they want to man up and cut off their arms to match his achievements then that's their own ego - the battlescars they have are based on what was given to them by fate, and not what they worked for.

If Ralston says that their scars are trivial, then he's probably correct - like in Flirtong Scholar, when Joey Leung died and yelled at Stephen Chow "Who is more pitiful than I?!!!!" before expiring. The important thing, however, their achievements as fighters, can never be taken away from them in absolute terms.

That example is a bit unique, though, as nobody breaks a wrist, arm or amputates an arm deibrately or through effort - it was a cruel twist of fate which caused such injury, and if anything there's nothing to brag about. Let's look at cricket.

Sachin Tendulkar is closing in on 14,000 Test runs, while Ricky Ponting is barely past 12,000, and is second on the alltime list. Tendulkar will look a complete idiot if he dismissed Ponting's achievements as unworthy of praise, or "trivial". He could do so, but can hardly be justified in doing so. He may have scored more runs, but that does not, in any way, render Ponting's efforts as unpraiseworthy.

[Trien Chieu]

Eh, I can't stand people who get all bent out of shape because they suffered oh so much for all their accomplishments and went through oh so much crap. Newsflash, a lot of people struggle to get to where they are. Good that you made it, but STFU and stop being a whiny little *****. That's the impression I'm getting from A based on the original post. Subsequent posts sort of delineated and are somewhat different issues.

Strongly agree.
Person A can be proud about his achievements and enjoying all the luxuries that he can afford, but it's wrong for him to bully Person B. Person B owes Person A absolutely nothing. I hate people like Person A.

[Banh Mi]

He can, but *should* he? Would he deserve rebuke for doing so?

He should if that's what he feels compelled to do, he only has to be true to himself. Does he deserve rebuke? Sure, he's an asshat for doing that.

But he could belittle anyone he wants regardless of whether he had amputated his arm or not. The question, for me, is whether his comments make the achievements of the former two people you mentioned any less worthy of the praise you had for them before Ralston called them trivial. To me, they don't. If they want to man up and cut off their arms to match his achievements then that's their own ego - the battlescars they have are based on what was given to them by fate, and not what they worked for.

If Ralston says that their scars are trivial, then he's probably correct - like in Flirtong Scholar, when Joey Leung died and yelled at Stephen Chow "Who is more pitiful than I?!!!!" before expiring. The important thing, however, their achievements as fighters, can never be taken away from them in absolute terms.

That example is a bit unique, though, as nobody breaks a wrist, arm or amputates an arm deibrately or through effort - it was a cruel twist of fate which caused such injury, and if anything there's nothing to brag about. Let's look at cricket.

Sachin Tendulkar is closing in on 14,000 Test runs, while Ricky Ponting is barely past 12,000, and is second on the alltime list. Tendulkar will look a complete idiot if he dismissed Ponting's achievements as unworthy of praise, or "trivial". He could do so, but can hardly be justified in doing so. He may have scored more runs, but that does not, in any way, render Ponting's efforts as unpraiseworthy.

Yes, he could belittle anyone if he wants, but anyone could challenge him on his criticism if they wanted. But on the subject of adamantium balls, no one can really challenge him. Yeah, I just realise how convoluted my example is.

What's worthy of praise is pretty relative. I'm beginning to see where you're coming from. I don't think his comments would make it any less worthy of praise. But it puts it into a whole new perspective.

As for cricket, I know next to nothing about it. Tendulkin might look like an idiot, but if that's how he felt, who can disagree with him. His argument though would have to be that Ponting is worthy of praise back in his day, but in this day and age, he's not that great. I'm not really focused on what people would think of him if he were to trivialise people. Because to hell with what other people think. I'm concerned about is can he be internally consistent, and back himself up if challenged.

[kidd]

I actually quite dislike A-type people, really.

You totally have the right to dislike A-type people and think they are asshats.

[kidd]

to be honest, the person A syndrome is very human, and many people are somewhat like that. person B syndrome is actually rarer.

even though theoretically we can all spot how wrong person A is, many of us do not see the A in ourselves. maybe cos this example is too idealised, like strive hard and good achievements.

Perhaps most of us are struggling with modest achievements...but when we start seeing somebody having an easier life, seriously not even care about the fact that they arent really better than us, and not as 'talented', or 'smart' or whatever, are we so sure we don't start to feel the jealousy?

cos deep down, no amount of wealth and achievement could beat that 'peace of heart' person B possess.

It's not a feeling to be desired, but if we really look into our own lives honestly, can we really say we are truly 'person B'?

Both person A and person B are not rare. Many people are also able to be proud of their little achievements.

The really rare ones are Person C - "I'm proud of my little achievement. To hell with what you think". Now, that's truly having 'peace of heart', because he doesn't care what others think of his achievement or lack of. He feel good enough about his achievement himself.

As for Person A, besides wanting all praises to himself, I think another reason that he's being such an asshat might be that he feels it is unfair for Person B to get equal or slightly less praise than him seeing that he
- is more talented
- has to struggle more and gone through more hardship to achieve what he has achieved
- has greater achievements

It's a bit like
Person D - born with a silverspoon in his mouth, get all the good teachings from rich dad, has good education, open his business with a ready made big capital and achieve great success in his business
Person E - born poor, has work hard in studies by himself because he can't affort tutor, no rich papa to teach him how to get rich, earn his capital all by himself through hardwork and own ingenuity and he achieve equal success in business as Person D.

Now, if Person D and Person E get equal praised for their achievement, is it reasonable for Person E to feel a bit unfair?

Now, the above case, Person B didn't even achieve as much as Person A, but, he get equal or slightly less praise than Person A.

It doesn't make him less of an asshat for constantly putting Person B down, but, just to see from his pespective.

[kidd]

"life's unfair, deal with it"
if person A is jealous of the praises person B receives, deal with it so he might be luckier than you, that's life. if it bothers you that much, instead of trying to put person B down, do something even bigger and get recognize. person B is just trying to live life, what do you get out of it by trying to ruin his esteem? yes, it's human to feel the way he feels.. but there's a difference between just quietly thinking to himself and gritting his teeth than to bluntly talk down person B. it's a petty move

if person B feels intimidated by person A, do something to prove your worth's. if you're content, be the bigger person, roll your eyes, and ignore person A. give him the finger while you're at it too

Best answer in this thread so far.

[Trien Chieu]

The really rare ones are Person C - "I'm proud of my little achievement. To hell with what you think". Now, that's truly having 'peace of heart', because he doesn't care what others think of his achievement or lack of. he feel good enough about his achievement himself.

Person C is not rare. I would consider myself as Person C.
I am proud of my accomplishment in education despite I don't make much money out of it. Many people look down on me that I couldn't find a good job and have to make a living by travelling house to house for private tutoring. I don't give a shit about it as I enjoy what I am doing. Life is too short. I better mind my own business and live to make my life happy. I don't care about what other people do about their lives and what they think about me. I love to keep my life as simple as possible.

[kidd]

Person C is not rare. I would consider myself as Person C.
I am proud of my accomplishment in education despite I don't make much money out of it. Many people look down on me that I couldn't find a good job and have to make a living by travelling house to house for private tutoring. I don't give a shit about it as I enjoy what I am doing. Life is too short. I better mind my own business and live to make my life happy. I don't care about what other people do about their lives and what they think about me. I love to keep my life as simple as possible.

You are a rare person.

Wish you luck in finding your college job one day.

[So Yen]

So would you guys rather have few important/huge achievements or many little achievements?

[Lucre]

So would you guys rather have few important/huge achievements or many little achievements?

actually it doesnt make a difference with me. achievements are still achievements.

as long as they are truly what keeps my heart at peace; thats all i wanted.

btw kidd, where did person C,D,E,F comes from Lucre can't count!

two is the most she would go. stop making things complicated!!!

[Guo Xiang]

actually it doesnt make a difference with me. achievements are still achievements.

as long as they are truly what keeps my heart at peace; thats all i wanted.

btw kidd, where did person C,D,E,F comes from Lucre can't count!

two is the most she would go. stop making things complicated!!!

It's not her fault or her problem that a sheep is this dumb.