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Thread: Random Thoughts II

  1. #721
    Senior Member galvatron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    F*CK YOU, KAREN...

    F*CK YOU, ELLEN...

    F*CK YOU, JULIE...

    F*CK YOU, TRICIA...

    F*CK YOU, TINA...

    You...you were the ones who did this to me....

    You may be family, but I hate you all just the same...
    Are you a victim of child sexual abuse by them? ,do your parent know this?

  2. #722
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by galvatron View Post
    Are you a victim of child sexual abuse by them? ,do your parent know this?
    No *sexual* abuse, no. Psychological/emotional abuse of a less extreme/sick kind, yes, but sexual...no. Nothing they did would be even remotely considered illegal. Whether or not it was immoral is a different issue.

    Parents knew. Didn't take it seriously. That was a huge part of the problem: none of the adults who could have intervened took it seriously.

  3. #723
    Member mi do ri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    No *sexual* abuse, no. Psychological/emotional abuse of a less extreme/sick kind, yes, but sexual...no. Nothing they did would be even remotely considered illegal. Whether or not it was immoral is a different issue.

    Parents knew. Didn't take it seriously. That was a huge part of the problem: none of the adults who could have intervened took it seriously.
    So out of the six of you, are you the youngest? I remember when I was younger, my sister and cousins would leave me out of everything. They are all at least 4 years older than I so none of them would want to play with me. It sucked being the youngest then.



    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    No. I haven't had any contact with them for seven years now, and the torture ended way before then (in the Eighties).

    From 1981-1988, we were all very close...after the Eighties ended, we gradually drifted apart. We saw each other sporadically during the Nineties, but things have never been the way they were during the Eighties.



    That summer of 1985 was the beginning of *everything*. The Yeung Gor-hating started then (although a more normal level of irritation/annoyance had started as early as when I first "met" the character in 1983; it wasn't until 1985 that that mutated into full-blown hatred, though).

    The story of the summer of 1985 is in one of those Yeung Gor hatred threads on the Wuxia Forum.
    Wow, and this whole time I thought you were born in the mid to late 80s.
    Less Than Perfect

  4. #724
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mi do ri View Post
    So out of the six of you, are you the youngest? I remember when I was younger, my sister and cousins would leave me out of everything. They are all at least 4 years older than I so none of them would want to play with me. It sucked being the youngest then.
    No, I was the *oldest*, but only by a little. Karen is half a year younger than I, and Ellen, almost a full year. Julie and Tricia are five years younger than I, and Tina is eight years younger.

    But I was the only boy in the group, and when all this went down, we were on *their* home turf (Seattle, Washington), not mine (Los Angeles, California). Age was no advantage. I was outnumbered and on "the enemy's" home turf, and the enemy leader had the edge on me in aggression (by a mile).

    The only "advantage" I had was that I was smarter, but it didn't help much under those circumstances. I lacked the experience to make effective use of the smarts I had, and it might not have helped anyway because you can't reason with the unreasonable.

    Wow, and this whole time I thought you were born in the mid to late 80s.
    No, I was born in 1972...either a week before or after Watergate started.

  5. #725
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  6. #726
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    ken cheng- u have me curious now. btw 6 sisters?! i'd love to have a family like that :P or 6 brothers.. i have 3 bros, don't mind 3 more hahaaa
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  7. #727
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kay &!* View Post
    ken cheng- u have me curious now. btw 6 sisters?! i'd love to have a family like that :P or 6 brothers.. i have 3 bros, don't mind 3 more hahaaa
    Well, they were my cousins, not my sisters. Different groups of two and three of them were sisters.

    I'm an only child. In elementary/high school, I was also targeted as one of the school geeks/nerds. That, in combination with my cousins, did not exactly bode well for my emotional health at a young age.

  8. #728
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    Ken, possibly I can understand you. When I was in teens, I was always left out in many gatherings/get-togethers. That may have accounted my reserve nature in later years. Anyway, take care.

  9. #729
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    No *sexual* abuse, no. Psychological/emotional abuse of a less extreme/sick kind, yes, but sexual...no. Nothing they did would be even remotely considered illegal. Whether or not it was immoral is a different issue.

    Parents knew. Didn't take it seriously. That was a huge part of the problem: none of the adults who could have intervened took it seriously.
    I am not sure if these issues are affecting you in real life. But I'm a bit perplexed that someone will allow something that happened 25 years ago to bother them to this extent.

  10. #730
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    Almost the deadline...almost the deadline...almost the deadline.
    I like me.

  11. #731
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzaku View Post
    I am not sure if these issues are affecting you in real life. But I'm a bit perplexed that someone will allow something that happened 25 years ago to bother them to this extent.
    That's because it didn't happen to you.

    If it happened to you, you'd know *exactly* why it's such a problem.

  12. #732
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    That's because it didn't happen to you.

    If it happened to you, you'd know *exactly* why it's such a problem.
    True, no one can really truly comprehend the scope of what happened to you, but you.

    But you're blaming your problems on something that happened 25 years ago, and you take no responsibility for the choices you made since then? You cannot change what happened to you in the past. You can only change how you perceive or make peace with the events.

    Your cousins aren't the blame for your problems - you are.

  13. #733
    Moderator Ken Cheng's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzaku View Post
    True, no one can really truly comprehend the scope of what happened to you, but you.

    But you're blaming your problems on something that happened 25 years ago, and you take no responsibility for the choices you made since then? You cannot change what happened to you in the past. You can only change how you perceive or make peace with the events.

    Your cousins aren't the blame for your problems - you are.
    If they hadn't knocked the first domino down, then everything else that happened afterwards would have happened very differently.

    Even in the Judeo-Christian Bible, God didn't say to Adam and Eve, "It's all your fault, ONLY." God punished them, but God also punished the serpent who misled them.

    I don't mind taking my share of the responsibility, but I'll be damned if I take it alone. *I've* suffered the consequences for the past twenty-five years while the people who started this got away with NOTHING.

    How is that fair?

  14. #734
    Member mi do ri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    If they hadn't knocked the first domino down, then everything else that happened afterwards would have happened very differently.

    Even in the Judeo-Christian Bible, God didn't say to Adam and Eve, "It's all your fault, ONLY." God punished them, but God also punished the serpent who misled them.

    I don't mind taking my share of the responsibility, but I'll be damned if I take it alone. *I've* suffered the consequences for the past twenty-five years while the people who started this got away with NOTHING.

    How is that fair?
    Well now that you all are adults, have you tried talking/confronting them about the things that you've claimed they did and how much their actions/words affected you?
    Less Than Perfect

  15. #735
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    Quote Originally Posted by mi do ri View Post
    Well now that you all are adults, have you tried talking/confronting them about the things that you've claimed they did and how much their actions/words affected you?
    I've been wanting to, but I haven't been able to come up with a proper plan for doing so.

  16. #736
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    Life twenty years ago seems better.

  17. #737
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    Quote Originally Posted by wkeej View Post
    Life twenty years ago seems better.
    When you are a kid, life isn't that complicated.
    Last edited by kidd; 02-13-11 at 10:22 PM.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  18. #738
    Senior Member kay &!*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    Well, they were my cousins, not my sisters. Different groups of two and three of them were sisters.

    I'm an only child. In elementary/high school, I was also targeted as one of the school geeks/nerds. That, in combination with my cousins, did not exactly bode well for my emotional health at a young age.
    ohh. so overall verbal abuse that took a toll on your emotional and mental health ey.
    i think karma will get to them sooner or later 'cause i was on the same boat people, including cousins of mines, would put me down all the time.. def affected my mental well-being growing up been called a loser, dork, ugly, idiot, etc... now look at me, everyone tries to be my friend
    haha
    but in all seriousness with your situation though, you can't dwell on something 25 years back. i'm sure there are some things that if you think about, it'd still hurt/piss you off but it's either you let it go and get on with life or find a way to deal with it.. confront them is one way. no use in saying how much pain you're in on here when they're the root of problems.
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  19. #739
    Moderator kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    I've been wanting to, but I haven't been able to come up with a proper plan for doing so.
    Why not email them? If saying face to face is hard, email will be less emotionally straining.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  20. #740
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    When you are a kid, live isn't that complicated.
    Yes, child is always the best. Innocent and little worries. Things start to get complicated when you are from teens, whereby you meet more people and all the society ills come in (e.g. backstabbing, politics). The worst part is that you cannot ignore them.

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