Thread: Random Thoughts II

  1. #741
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    Why not email them? If saying face to face is hard, email will be less emotionally straining.
    Actually I will like to suggest to Ken to forget everything. Forgive and forget. It happened more than 20 yrs ago. But you are still kicking and alive today.

  2. #742
    Senior Member remember_Cedric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kidd View Post
    When you are a kid, live isn't that complicated.
    This doesn't apply for everywhere, it seems. At least not what I noticed in this part of the world. *points to a small dot on the map* I would agree, live isn't that complicated as wkeej states. The mindsets are different; more naive/innocent.

    _____________________________

    Happy Valentine's Day, folks! jovial version for this V-day:-
    情人节悲情语录: 我爱的人名花/草有主,爱我的人惨不忍睹

    On a serious note: On this special day... Look upon another's need. Love demands a loving deed; tell the special one your love is true. And, prove it by the things you do!
    Last edited by remember_Cedric; 02-13-11 at 10:19 PM. Reason: because I find the need to
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  3. #743
    Senior Member kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wkeej View Post
    Actually I will like to suggest to Ken to forget everything. Forgive and forget. It happened more than 20 yrs ago. But you are still kicking and alive today.
    If an incident affected you greatly, you can't say 'Ill forgive and forget' and poof!, you will be ok. It's already in the subconscious.

    It's even harder when Ken only gives himself one option and won't consider anything else. Seem like the only way he can get any closure is for his cousins to know the impact their action has on him AND feel really sorry and bad about it.
    Last edited by kidd; 02-13-11 at 10:23 PM.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  4. #744
    Senior Member Ren Ying Ying's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    I don't mind taking my share of the responsibility, but I'll be damned if I take it alone. *I've* suffered the consequences for the past twenty-five years while the people who started this got away with NOTHING.

    How is that fair?
    Dude, life isn't always fair. Sh*t happens. If everyone dwelt on all the things they got the short end of the stick on, then nothing would ever get accomplished.

    If you want "fair", then go fight for it. There's nothing you can do to change something that's already happened. Instead, it matters what you do from here on out.

    Sulking isn't going make life any more "fair" for you. If you want "fair", then you plan for a revenge or ask them to repay their "debts" to you. If you can't do that, then move on and get over with it. Dwelling on it and drowing in depression over it isn't going to hurt them and make things any more fair. It only hurts you--in which it'll make your life seem even more unfair.

    However, if you enjoy sulking over spilt milk, then there's nothing we can do for you.
    Last edited by Ren Ying Ying; 02-13-11 at 10:44 PM.

  5. #745
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
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    So it is true what they say about men and their 3 sensitive spots about women, money, and pride.

    I gave my friend's ex the last word in ' word fight' and all he can use as a come back was name calling. Hahaha... His pride wouldn't let him accept the fact that he lost.

  6. #746
    Senior Member kidd's Avatar
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    Learn a new word. Thanks Snafu3721.

    preoletariat :-
    1. the class of wage earners, especially those who earn their living by manual labor or who are dependent for support on daily or casual employment; the working class.
    2. (in Marxist theory) the class of workers, especially industrial wage earners, who do not possess capital or property and must sell their labor to survive.
    3. the lowest or poorest class of people, possessing no property, especially in ancient Rome.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  7. #747
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    Ken, you are getting older. Just forget the whole incident. No point stressing over it. Health is more important. Afterall, all of us make such mistakes when we are younger. This is my truthful advice.

  8. #748
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    Good-nite. May all be well and happy.

  9. #749
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suet Seung View Post
    So it is true what they say about men and their 3 sensitive spots about women, money, and pride.

    I gave my friend's ex the last word in ' word fight' and all he can use as a come back was name calling. Hahaha... His pride wouldn't let him accept the fact that he lost.
    LOL I've just started to learn to give men the last word as an adult...I would not have done so 10 years ago. Looking back, that was silly, but I was lucky that I had alot of great guys who grew up with me. You gain much more from them when you're willing to take a step back.

    I hope all the couples out there are having a nice Valentine's Day! Unlike some other single people [as seen by their FB stats], I am not resentful of this holiday or my single status. <3
    I like me.

  10. #750
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    She abysmally failed out of school, but seems to have succeeded in life [so far].
    He was an unqualified success academically, but seems to have failed in life [so far].

    How strange where life takes you. I remember "her" vaguely, but didn't know her that well growing up. I remember "him" well. I hated him ...though I never showed it.
    I like me.

  11. #751
    Member mi do ri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByTmE View Post
    She abysmally failed out of school, but seems to have succeeded in life [so far].
    He was an unqualified success academically, but seems to have failed in life [so far].

    How strange where life takes you. I remember "her" vaguely, but didn't know her that well growing up. I remember "him" well. I hated him ...though I never showed it.
    Funny how you brought up such examples because my boss and I were talking the other day and he was telling me how someone had told him that sometimes the C-average people have more success in life than the As people and that most of the time, it's the As people who work for the C-average people. Life is definitely unpredictable.
    Less Than Perfect

  12. #752
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangYushi View Post
    Do consider gathering evidence as a course of action. Record the evidence of poor attitude, shoddy work, etc, in the form of a log, with date and time, but with MINIMAL use adjectives/adverbs that might be seen as "weighting" the thoughts/emotions of the reader.
    Hi Yushi, sorry to left this hanging for abit. Yes, I agree that gathering evidence as a course of action is a good plan. But this recording move could be a problem - due to the design of our office, it could be noticeable by her. I'm trying to keep track of the times she disappeared from office but sometimes I'm so tied up by work that I have problems doing that.

    I have also spoken to her last Friday, afterwork, because I'm doing my best to leave the option of submitting any evidences to my Head of Global Op as the very last resort. I told her upfront that her work ethics are really poor, and that some of the work ethics which are really common sense (given her past work experience, I don't think she wouldn't know them), she shouldn't have missed them. The Head of GO actually caught her sitting at the desk while I was busy tending to clients and running around the office. She got called in (Thank God!) and later on, she came to me as how she could help but I was done with what I had to do. So, I told her to please have the initiative to approach the clients and do stuff like, ask them to take a seat and hold on or keep them busy while I'm with another small group of clients... the things to do are basically things we don't have an instruction manual guide for it but how one should use their initiative to go along - something I cannot teach exactly. She was in PR positions and had dealt with more major events so I don't think I need to teach her on that.

    Example: (Date, Time) Person A was told by Person B (the supervisor) not to use the pointer (long stick) as a cane. Shortly after that, Person A hit Person C with the pointer, leaving marks on both forearms.

    From this description, what can adjectives can you use on Person A?
    Answer: Insubordination (not following supervisor's instructions), disregard for Person C's well-being.

    When there are sufficient entries in the log (one entry per incident; use sub-entries if the incident consists of many smaller incidents), a pattern of the person's attitude/behaviour will emerge. Anyone reading the log will come up with some adjectives that will be repeated throughout the log. Then, the severity of person's misbehaviour will be apparent.
    I do have some worries here, and one of them being - my MD seems to be protective of her since he introduced her in. From time to time, he would try to speak in defence of her when I just say things as the way it is and don't have alternate meanings. It leads me to think, if it is the race issue or something. They're both Indians - she's mixed of Tamil and Malay while my boss is Indian from Uganda.

    I'm suspecting that she's eyeing on my Petty cash too. She had previous borrowed cash from me (almost $100) and she failed to pay back in time as promised. Maybe after that bad experience, she wouldn't try again and search for alternatives.

    An incident that lead to my suspicion: I left early yesterday, and when I stepped out and waiting for the lift, I thought of taking the newspaper, which I left in office, to read on the train. So I went back, and I caught her at my desk, browsing for something. She then picked up the remote control and asked me if that was for the door. So I kept a straight face, and told her to try and see. I used to keep the keys (to my drawer where I keep the Petty Cash) in the same bunch where I left the door remote control (small keychain type).

    And, what I plan to do is, I'd to let her keep the Petty Cash and if the money falls short, she'll need to pay up. Just as the word goes: "The most dangerous place, is actually the safest place." I would check on the cash on a weekly basis.

    Unfortunately for her, yes. All first-time interviewees have to go through me. Besides listening to the interviewees' answers to my questions, I also look for non-verbal signs of suitability. Sometimes, I simply say: "Convince me that we should hire you." So far, no candidate has been able to answer this question yet.
    How would you deal with someone who gives a cocky and arrogant response like this: "I will convince you what I can do during the 3 months probation with my performance instead of spending the time doing the talking now."?


    Thank you, Yushi, and I trully appreciate your time and inputs on my situation.
    What can I say? I'm still standing! No weapon against me shall prosper! I am more than a conqueror!!!

    I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?

  13. #753
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cheng View Post
    If they hadn't knocked the first domino down, then everything else that happened afterwards would have happened very differently.

    Even in the Judeo-Christian Bible, God didn't say to Adam and Eve, "It's all your fault, ONLY." God punished them, but God also punished the serpent who misled them.

    I don't mind taking my share of the responsibility, but I'll be damned if I take it alone. *I've* suffered the consequences for the past twenty-five years while the people who started this got away with NOTHING.

    How is that fair?
    Apparently, this issue has troubled you for a very long time, probably it is time to seek professional help and put it to rest. You seem to think that you can resolve this issue on your own and you don't need help, but let me pose a question to you that my doctor asked me years ago, "why suffer?"

    You "suffered" 25 years already, why prolong it. Psychology and Psychiatry is a science. Why would you want to reinvent the whole wheel. Why not just build on that knowledge and help yourself to end your sufferings?

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    再见二丁目 by Miriam Yeung.

  15. #755
    Senior Member HuangYushi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by remember_Cedric View Post
    I'm trying to keep track of the times she disappeared from office but sometimes I'm so tied up by work that I have problems doing that.
    Just jot it down first; you can write it properly in the log later when you have time. That was how I did the logs for 3 different people in different parts of the building. They were all eventually terminated.

    I do have some worries here, and one of them being - my MD seems to be protective of her since he introduced her in. From time to time, he would try to speak in defence of her when I just say things as the way it is and don't have alternate meanings. It leads me to think, if it is the race issue or something. They're both Indians - she's mixed of Tamil and Malay while my boss is Indian from Uganda.
    She's also young and pretty. And he's old, fat and balding.

    And, what I plan to do is, I'd to let her keep the Petty Cash and if the money falls short, she'll need to pay up. Just as the word goes: "The most dangerous place, is actually the safest place." I would check on the cash on a weekly basis.
    IMPORTANT: You need to do a written handover on this. She needs to sign for the money she received from you, with a reliable trustworthy dependable 3rd party as witness. When you check the cash, the 3rd party should be present. Then, it won't look as if it's a personal problem between you and her.

    How would you deal with someone who gives a cocky and arrogant response like this: "I will convince you what I can do during the 3 months probation with my performance instead of spending the time doing the talking now."?
    With a very straight face and facts: "Our probation is 6 months. We have had university graduates in education and experienced teachers from government teacher-training institutes who have not lasted beyond 3 weeks. But since you're so sure that you can do a good job, I'll speak to the boss about it and get back to you. Thank you for coming."

    I don't call the applicant back. If the applicant calls to enquire, I'll just say "Thank you but no thank you, we do not think that you'll be suitable for the job." If the applicant insists, I'll say, "I'm sure with your qualifications and abilities, you can find a better job in another organisation. Thank you." smile and hang up without waiting for a response.


    Thank you, Yushi, and I trully appreciate your time and inputs on my situation.
    You're welcome. I empathise with people who have bad co-workers because I have them too.
    Jin Yong's Ode to Gallantry [侠客行].
    Quote Originally Posted by atlantean0208
    what about SPT, I need my SPT fix ASAP, pretty pleaseeeee...
    Soon ... SOON!

  16. #756
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    random again - goodnight and sweet dreams. :-)

  17. #757
    Senior Member ByTmE's Avatar
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    Dang Ceddy! Your co-worker sounds so fishy! You have alot of tolerance. I totally agree with Yushi about going bada$$ on the new girl and keeping meticulous records. I'm going to write all this down on sticky note for future reference haha.
    I like me.

  18. #758
    Moderator Suet Seung's Avatar
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    So I was talking to Cedric and she thinks HuangYushi is not a Zhang CuiShan nor Song Yuan Qiao, but old enough to be like Zhang San Feng.

    I just said Scholar Huang and Mr. Ken Cheng are within the same age range. Though who's the ge or who's the di. I don't know.

    But why does it matter? Curiosity and profiling.

  19. #759
    Senior Member kidd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangYushi View Post
    With a very straight face and facts: "Our probation is 6 months. We have had university graduates in education and experienced teachers from government teacher-training institutes who have not lasted beyond 3 weeks. But since you're so sure that you can do a good job, I'll speak to the boss about it and get back to you. Thank you for coming."

    I don't call the applicant back. If the applicant calls to enquire, I'll just say "Thank you but no thank you, we do not think that you'll be suitable for the job." If the applicant insists, I'll say, "I'm sure with your qualifications and abilities, you can find a better job in another organisation. Thank you." smile and hang up without waiting for a response.
    Just curious. Why did he fail the interview? You can read his response as arrogant or confident. Or do you think his attitude is not a good role model for the kids?
    Last edited by kidd; 02-15-11 at 09:28 PM.
    什麼是朋友?朋友永遠是在你犯下不可原諒錯誤的時候,仍舊站在你那邊的笨蛋。~ 王亞瑟

    和諧唔係一百個人講同一番話,係一百個人有一百句唔同嘅說話,而又互相尊重 ~ - 葉梓恩

  20. #760
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    Can I deduce that HuangYushi is more a task-oriented person instead of a relationship-based one?

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