do you have a Best Friend?

[PJ]

Do you have one best friend, several close friends that are candidates for best friend, or no clear candidates?

[HuangYushi]

Further to PJ's question, what is your understanding/interpretation of the term "best friend"?

[remember_Cedric]

Further to PJ's question, what is your understanding/interpretation of the term "best friend"?

A friend whom you two have walked thru the years together, and will always be there/ is the 1st person that comes to your mind when people coined the term "best friend" (my bestie's face comes to my mind when I read that "best friend"). Respect, need not be the key that pull you two together but acceptance, supportiveness and the maturity to iron out the shortcomings in a friendship in every sense.

When I asked myself, "Why is my bestie - my bestie?", I realized that.... because I felt as though we've got married for the past 20 years and almost divorced, we're similar and different, and she didn't compelled me to become her bridesmaid on her wedding. She's the country mouse, and I'm the town mouse. We both have different religion - on a religion exchange, I'd laugh when she shares with me how she'd rolled her eyes at Christians who reached out to her and walk away. She, too, laughs when I told her I'd stare unemotionally at the buddhist face and close my door when some hardcore buddhist like my neighbour would come to my door and try to invite me to their temple. We both agree to disagree, and disagree to agree.

I have one bestie, and several equally extremely close friends (at emotional level). My mother knows all of them and will always ask about them.

PJ, thanks for bringing this topic up and remind me what it all means.

[ByTmE]

I do not have an extremely close friend...well I took a gamble and tried 2 times but it didn't work out. I have a handful of close friends though..not soul mate bestie, but perhaps I'm not meant to have any.

[wkeej]

I used to have a few close friends when I started working. To be frank now, perhaps only one friend. Cannot consider him to be close though.
Is the people you know coming to your funeral a good gauge of the number of friends you have?

[Banh Mi]

I used to have a few close friends when I started working. To be frank now, perhaps only one friend. Cannot consider him to be close though.
Is the people you know coming to your funeral a good gauge of the number of friends you have?

I think a good gauge is how many would help you when you're in need but have nothing to offer them in return.

[ByTmE]

I think a good gauge is how many would help you when you're in need but have nothing to offer them in return.

Hmm...if I used this gauge, that means I have fewer friends than I think. Hm...something to ponder.

[PJ]

I think a good gauge is how many would help you when you're in need but have nothing to offer them in return.

Good critieria. Let me add one more piece:

how many would help you when you're in need but have nothing to offer them in return, and it requires them to make a sacrifice.

Your true friends are the ones who will sacrifice themselves to help you.

[Exodus]

Good critieria. Let me add one more piece:

how many would help you when you're in need but have nothing to offer them in return, and it requires them to make a sacrifice.

Your true friends are the ones who will sacrifice themselves to help you.

what kind of sacrifice are you referring to? time, money? both these variables have different value from person to person. if sacrifice his life to save you from being killed then i suppose you no not a best friend.

[remember_Cedric]

Good critieria. Let me add one more piece:

how many would help you when you're in need but have nothing to offer them in return, and it requires them to make a sacrifice.

Your true friends are the ones who will sacrifice themselves to help you.

Does Cousin count? She helped me during one time when I was financially in need. My friends are there when I needed help (school work, emotional uplift, and various aspects); they are there to worry about me - we are those kind to share what we can offer. There's also another friend, whom I can't call her "bestie" or close friend but she helped me remotely during one of my desperate times, and she followed up with me to make sure I'm ok to-do. I feel blessed.

I think the thoughts count too. Thoughts, demonstrated through to their gesture and perhaps, attempt, rather than just words. That's probably something that distinguishes "close friends" from "friends".

[blueberry]

I have 1 that I know for sure. I've been friends with him for the last 10+ yrs, he's been there a lot for me during my difficult times (and vice versa) and we know each other very well. We can say anything to each other honestly, even when the truth might hurt. We balance each other too. My mom knows him (my mom knows all my friends well) but I don't know his family (never came to US). He's the one person I turn to whenever I need help/support/second opinion/shoulder to cry on. Both of us don't have immediate family here, so we put each other as main emergency contact person. I know if something happen to him, I would drop everything and go to help him. I certainly hope he would do the same.

There's another guy that I still consider as my bestie. He was in college with me but he went back home couple yrs back. I still meet with him whenever I go back home, still talk to him every now and then, but it is hard to maintain close friendship when you have half the world between you.

[blueberry]

Is the people you know coming to your funeral a good gauge of the number of friends you have?

If you died and watch from above (or wherever you are), how many of those people can you honestly count as friends?

I've seen people come to funeral just because they are the (ex)coworkers, highschool friends, neighbors, etc and they haven't seen each other in years. I've seen my coworkers come to coworker's mother/father funeral even though they never met her/him. I certainly wouldn't or couldn't count that as friends.

[kay &!*]

don't have a best friend, only a group of extremely close friends which is hard because they each are located in diff parts of the world and they don't know one another. it's difficult because we're not a GROUP of close friends but rather, they're individually MY close friend.