Legendary Book of Sun-Moon Swordplay - The Prequel

[H.Ge-C.Liu]

Whew! Now that we've clarified that statement, I feel so much better! I was beginning to think that we had totally different views of the same men.

All right then... I'll just take my sweet time with the next update then, since everyone here is so patient and so into meditation.

You're letting your desperation for a LSS-HG pairing show every time you .

Oh no, I would never think they are effeminate. I actually think Ma Tian Yu looks quite femine-too femine for my taste.




Should I make my signature emoticon then?

[Xaari]

Ah, my hero is commenting on the story!

I saw your comment at the other wuxia forum. Thank you, but I don't think someone of my skills can be your hero. You're TOO TOO complimentary. I really think what I have here is very mediocre at best. Great wuxia writing ability is when a writer can blend history and fiction together seamlessly and create a riveting story with well fleshed-out characters. This story is FAR, FAR from that! That is why I am so touched right now, finding so many kind comments from everyone.

I tried in vain all of yesterday to make another post, but spcnet kept freezing on me! I had written a nice long review too, but I only recall babbling how much I looooved your action scenes. The imagery you conjured up was breathtaking! Arrows setting fire to the willow trees...SCN jumping onto the assassin's neck and breaking it by twisting his ankles...the dead assassin hanging by a rope on the tree, his corpse swinging like a pendulum...oh Melanie, you're my hero! I sure love a good fight more than a smooching scene! Your other readers might be sending a few glares my way, though.

And I find the guy with the fan hilarious! My novel's heroine's fourth love interest uses a solid iron fan as his only weapon, but his personality is quite the opposite. I'm a million chapters away from actually writing him, though. I'm definitely learning a lot from your writing...your rich selection of action verbs, your never-ending variations of incredible martial arts, and your descriptions of scenery are all so stunning!

Oh, btw, did you happen to see the thread I created a few weeks ago in the other forum titled "Sherry's Stories"? I posted my only completed short story there.

[Melanie]

H.Ge-C.Liu

The image of you meditating will now forever be with me. I suppose if LSS doesn't make it into the story, you'll still be calm and meditating. Haha.

I tried in vain all of yesterday to make another post, but spcnet kept freezing on me! I had written a nice long review too, but I only recall babbling how much I looooved your action scenes. The imagery you conjured up was breathtaking! Arrows setting fire to the willow trees...SCN jumping onto the assassin's neck and breaking it by twisting his ankles...the dead assassin hanging by a rope on the tree, his corpse swinging like a pendulum...oh Melanie, you're my hero! I sure love a good fight more than a smooching scene! Your other readers might be sending a few glares my way, though.

And I find the guy with the fan hilarious! My novel's heroine's fourth love interest uses a solid iron fan as his only weapon, but his personality is quite the opposite. I'm a million chapters away from actually writing him, though. I'm definitely learning a lot from your writing...your rich selection of action verbs, your never-ending variations of incredible martial arts, and your descriptions of scenery are all so stunning!

Oh, btw, did you happen to see the thread I created a few weeks ago in the other forum titled "Sherry's Stories"? I posted my only completed short story there.

Aww, I'm sorry that you spent so much time typing up a long message only to lose it when spcnet froze. That happens to me sometimes, too, and I usually bang my head against the wall in frustration. No meditation for me. I'm very sad, however, that I will never get a chance to know what you said in the lost message, as I am sure it was full of insights and constructive criticism that I could use to improve my writing.

Thanks for your compliments about the fighting scenes. I've never hit anyone in my life before so it's extra difficult for me to conjure up scenes where men are killing each other. I've tried getting ideas from martial arts dramas, but even then, seeing the action on screen and trying to paint that action on paper are definitely not the same. Sometimes, I wonder if my action scenes are too sluggish, because it certainly feels that way when I am describing the fighting.

I think, over the years, my action scenes and descriptive scenes have become more elaborate. I don't know if this is for the better or for the worse, though, as very few readers have actually read BOTH stories and therefore they cannot give any comparisons. I do feel that my earlier chapters in the main story were very basic and minimally descriptive. As the main story progressed (and as the years passed), the chapters became longer and the descriptions became more detailed. Probably the only reader who has read both stories and who is still actively commenting on both stories is tweety. Tweety? Are you reading this? If yes, which story do you like better? You can use plot, character development, writing style, etc, as points for comparison. I already know that character development in the main story is lacking for the minor characters (since I have so many running around), but hopefully the main characters are relatively fleshed out, even though some have bland personalities....

The fan guy is hilarious? Why? Because he's so impeccably well-mannered? I can't remember who the fan guy in your story is. Is he the one who will end up with the girl?

I didn't get a chance to read any other threads at the other forum other than the one I posted in. Will drop by when I get a chance to read your completed story. I assume this one will be in the anthology? Yay, I get to read it for free now. I'm sure it'll cost me once the anthology is published.

[H.Ge-C.Liu]

^^^Still chanting...can't hear anything...

[Melanie]

^^^Still chanting...can't hear anything...

All right, in that case, you won't even hear me saying, "LSS is not in the cast. There will never be a HG-LSS pairing!"

[tweety365]

Oh hey tweety! It's nice seeing you here, too!

Hey there BR!
Glad to see that you've finally found your way here.

Yup! That's Kuk Wai. I'm surprised tweety hasn't jumped for joy since I thought she's a big Kuk Wai/Wallace Huo fan. Kuk Wai and SCN will meet in the next chapter. It's not going to be a pretty scene...

I'm not jumping up and down with excitement because KW the character has thus far given me no reason to be excited. You have yet to give him any attributes worthy of adoration. All we know is that he's good looking, still in love with Yan, and got tricked into cheating on her . Plus, we know KW and Yan won't end up together. So it's quite hard to gush over the guy, despite envisioning Wallace Huo's droolicious face in the role. This Huomi is very sad...

Get back to your other story with Gilbert, Mel!

Charby! Missed you lots too! Hope you are doing well these days.

All right, in that case, you won't even hear me saying, "LSS is not in the cast. There will never be a HG-LSS pairing!"

[xia0yuer]

Wow, this thread is moving so fast with Melanie back!

And Mel, why do you insist on mistreating your most loyal readers, tweety and H.Ge-C.Liu? Aren't you afraid that they'll leave you when they've had enough of this abusive relationship?

[tweety365]

Probably the only reader who has read both stories and who is still actively commenting on both stories is tweety. Tweety? Are you reading this? If yes, which story do you like better? You can use plot, character development, writing style, etc, as points for comparison. I already know that character development in the main story is lacking for the minor characters (since I have so many running around), but hopefully the main characters are relatively fleshed out, even though some have bland personalities....

The main story lacks character development. With the long list of characters, readers don't get attached to many of the characters due to their limited screen time. So when they are killed off, it doesn’t affect me too much. I find that it can disrupt the flow of the story. Even my favorite pairings (Ekin/Kristy and Kevin/Gigi) suffer from lack of character development. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed reading their scenes, but as far as making them shine as characters, I would need to know more about their backgrounds (Ekin and Kevin) and their personalities in terms of strengths and weaknesses. Sui Han is the main lead, but she is still a big mystery to me. I don’t know what her real motives are and what she wants to do yet. Does she have any goals? Perhaps being able to survive each day is an accomplishment to her . If I have a better understanding of her inner thoughts, it would make her transformation into the evil seer much more significant. Perhaps we can compare how she truly is now versus when she morphs into her former self. Also, I’ve been wondering how the seer will behave. Will she become a crazed, psychopath going on a killing rampage all for the sake of avenging a past wrong? Or will she have loftier ambitions? Or is she just the final evil that must be extinguished for the story to end .

Another issue is the inconsistent writing style due to the fact that the story was started over a decade ago. I think your writing has improved a lot over the years, which is evident in the action sequences and details that go into the plot. I love the plot! There are so many twists and turns that I’m always excited to read more. Despite the weak character development, you have managed to weave such an engrossing tale that I’ve been hanging around here for the longest time. So until you have written the final sentence to the story, I can only give half baked analysis because I don’t know where the story is heading.

Regarding the prequel, I love the character development for the leading couple. The action scenes are wonderful and so far, I have nothing to complain about yet.

[tweety365]

And Mel, why do you insist on mistreating your most loyal readers, tweety and H.Ge-C.Liu? Aren't you afraid that they'll leave you when they've had enough of this abusive relationship?

Yes, what xia0yuer said!

Especially after my long feedback, I should get more spoilers...

[Melanie]

Tweety, regarding your review of the main story...

Thanks for the review. Hehe, it's the longest comment from you for a long while. Anyway, I couldn't have said it better myself, as I agree with your evaluation. The main story is a product of a truly unplanned story. Each chapter was written on the spur of the moment with no real direction for the plot. That story was mainly a device for me to include all my favorite actors and actresses in one big happy story. With this prequel, I have a much better idea of where everything will eventually lead and what will happen with each character. Plus, I've learned my lesson and stopped throwing in random characters simply because I've fallen in love with a new actor. With a much smaller cast, I have more time to work on each character. I think BFL will be the last (or second to last) new character.

One of the reasons why I'm updating the prequel more frequently is because I feel so much more focused when I write the prequel chapters, since I know where each event will eventually lead the characters. Yet, the main story is like a first love, and even though it might be the "inferior" story in many ways, it still has a very important place in my heart. That is the reason why I am finishing it, no matter what. Even if the ending ends up being a dud, I am determined to end it.

Yes, what xia0yuer said!

Especially after my long feedback, I should get more spoilers...

You still haven't learned your lesson? Did you forget so quickly already what happened last time you asked for spoilers? Xia0yuer is just trying to get you into trouble. She somehow got you to ask for more spoilers, while she sits back patiently, meditating. Notice H.Ge-C.Liu hasn't taken the bait and asked for BFL spoilers?

[Xaari]

I'm very sad, however, that I will never get a chance to know what you said in the lost message, as I am sure it was full of insights and constructive criticism that I could use to improve my writing.

Don't worry, I didn't find anything wanting in this chapter at all! It's just the way I like it!

Thanks for your compliments about the fighting scenes. I've never hit anyone in my life before so it's extra difficult for me to conjure up scenes where men are killing each other. I've tried getting ideas from martial arts dramas, but even then, seeing the action on screen and trying to paint that action on paper are definitely not the same. Sometimes, I wonder if my action scenes are too sluggish, because it certainly feels that way when I am describing the fighting.

It's hard for me too. I practice Taijiquan and know some qigong, but your fights are soooo inventive that they blow anything I've written out of the water.

The fan guy is hilarious? Why? Because he's so impeccably well-mannered? I can't remember who the fan guy in your story is. Is he the one who will end up with the girl?

I just think the way he inspected Black Rose was so funny. He could very well be dangerous, but I find him quite harmless, LOL.

Oh, the fan guy in my story is the Jianghu hegemon and my heroine's direct superior for 7 years. He gets rejected and immediately marries someone else.

I didn't get a chance to read any other threads at the other forum other than the one I posted in. Will drop by when I get a chance to read your completed story. I assume this one will be in the anthology? Yay, I get to read it for free now. I'm sure it'll cost me once the anthology is published.

Yep, this one will be in the anthology! Also, I'm already on Chapter 4 of your main story! The chapters are shorter and everything is simpler, but I'm tickled by all the dramatics and like the fast-paced plot.

[Melanie]

Don't worry, I didn't find anything wanting in this chapter at all! It's just the way I like it!

Once again, thanks!

It's hard for me too. I practice Taijiquan and know some qigong, but your fights are soooo inventive that they blow anything I've written out of the water.

Oh! You practice martial arts?! That's so cool! Now I know which one of my readers I shouldn't tick off. I think my fight scenes have a lot of acrobatics and are quite surreal. But I figure if pros like Jin Yong and Gu Long can have martial artists with fantastical skills, then I should be able to get away with it, too.

I just think the way he inspected Black Rose was so funny. He could very well be dangerous, but I find him quite harmless, LOL.

Yes, there will be more on this "funny dude" in the next chapter.

On a related topic, which character do you find dangerous then?

Oh, the fan guy in my story is the Jianghu hegemon and my heroine's direct superior for 7 years. He gets rejected and immediately marries someone else.

Well, then I say, "Good riddance!" He doesn't sound like a prize to just turn around and marry someone else so quickly. He must not have loved her at all.

Yep, this one will be in the anthology!

I might peak in on it when I get a chance, probably in the next few weeks.

Also, I'm already on Chapter 4 of your main story! The chapters are shorter and everything is simpler, but I'm tickled by all the dramatics and like the fast-paced plot.

Like I told xia0yuer in the other story thread, I am so grateful for having readers for both stories, especially for the main story, since I consider it "inferior" to this one. Thank you. I'm in a weepy mood today.

[Black Rose]

Hey, back, tweety!!! I think I like it here. :-D Hope Mel updates soon....

The main story is a product of a truly unplanned story. Each chapter was written on the spur of the moment with no real direction for the plot. That story was mainly a device for me to include all my favorite actors and actresses in one big happy story.

the main story is like a first love, and even though it might be the "inferior" story in many ways, it still has a very important place in my heart. That is the reason why I am finishing it, no matter what. Even if the ending ends up being a dud, I am determined to end it.

Melanie, I think you are way too critical of yourself! I am also reading your main story while waiting for you to update this story, and I am enjoying it immensely! I agree that there are some flaws in the main story, but there is no perfect story out there. Even seasoned, professional writers cannot write perfect stories with no faults. Your prequel and your main stories are simply different styles of writing, but both very much worth reading. While it is true that the main story's overwhelming number of characters compromises character development when compared to the prequel, I find it really exciting because there are just so many characters running around, bumping into each other, and there is mayhem everywhere! Like Xaari said, it's so very fast-paced that the action makes up for the slight drop in character development.

I left you a message a while back on winglin, but you never responded, so I am not sure if you have read it. I will repost it here.

*****

Hey, Melanie! Surprised seeing me here? Well I decided to drop by and read this story while I am waiting for your update on your prequel. I admit I was rather reluctant to read this story at first since I really just wanted to read about Wallace Chung and Sun Fei Fei. YOU are the one to blame for that! LOL! You made me fall in love with the Wallace Chung-SFF pairing (as Sit Chung Nam and Black Rose) and now you expect me to move on and read about other actors? Noooooo.... That won't happen! But then I got impatient and decided to take a peek at this story. Boy am I glad I did! It's loaded with characters and everything seems to be happening at once and characters seem to run around bumping into each other or killing each other, but I'm having such a great time! It's much more elaborate that the prequel given your much larger cast, but I am slowly developing some fondness for a few of the characters. Sit Chung Nam is still my #1 man but Lam Yik Lun is now a close second. I'm only on chapter 22, but so far I like him the most. You must find it strange that I would like a gentleman like Lam Yik Lun and yet love a ruthless bandit like Sit Chung Nam. I can't exactly place my finger on why right now, but when I read more of this story and figure it out, I will tell you. LOL. For now, I'm going back to reading! At least this story has more chapters to keep me occupied. I already dread getting to the last chapter and having to wait for the next update! I know you have a life to live, but oh how I wish your primary job was just writing...

*****

You're doing a great job entertaining us, Melanie! I've read a few wuxia novels (fanfics and original published ones) and your stories are by far the creme of the crop. Just because they're not published doesn't mean they're not as good as the published ones.

[Melanie]

Hey, back, tweety!!! I think I like it here. :-D Hope Mel updates soon....




Melanie, I think you are way too critical of yourself! I am also reading your main story while waiting for you to update this story, and I am enjoying it immensely! I agree that there are some flaws in the main story, but there is no perfect story out there. Even seasoned, professional writers cannot write perfect stories with no faults. Your prequel and your main stories are simply different styles of writing, but both very much worth reading. While it is true that the main story's overwhelming number of characters compromises character development when compared to the prequel, I find it really exciting because there are just so many characters running around, bumping into each other, and there is mayhem everywhere! Like Xaari said, it's so very fast-paced that the action makes up for the slight drop in character development.

I left you a message a while back on winglin, but you never responded, so I am not sure if you have read it. I will repost it here.

*****

Hey, Melanie! Surprised seeing me here? Well I decided to drop by and read this story while I am waiting for your update on your prequel. I admit I was rather reluctant to read this story at first since I really just wanted to read about Wallace Chung and Sun Fei Fei. YOU are the one to blame for that! LOL! You made me fall in love with the Wallace Chung-SFF pairing (as Sit Chung Nam and Black Rose) and now you expect me to move on and read about other actors? Noooooo.... That won't happen! But then I got impatient and decided to take a peek at this story. Boy am I glad I did! It's loaded with characters and everything seems to be happening at once and characters seem to run around bumping into each other or killing each other, but I'm having such a great time! It's much more elaborate that the prequel given your much larger cast, but I am slowly developing some fondness for a few of the characters. Sit Chung Nam is still my #1 man but Lam Yik Lun is now a close second. I'm only on chapter 22, but so far I like him the most. You must find it strange that I would like a gentleman like Lam Yik Lun and yet love a ruthless bandit like Sit Chung Nam. I can't exactly place my finger on why right now, but when I read more of this story and figure it out, I will tell you. LOL. For now, I'm going back to reading! At least this story has more chapters to keep me occupied. I already dread getting to the last chapter and having to wait for the next update! I know you have a life to live, but oh how I wish your primary job was just writing...

*****

You're doing a great job entertaining us, Melanie! I've read a few wuxia novels (fanfics and original published ones) and your stories are by far the creme of the crop. Just because they're not published doesn't mean they're not as good as the published ones.

Oh, you're making me cry in gratitude for your kind words, Black Rose! Thank you. I still think you and all the other readers are too complimentary and too forgiving of the all the flaws in both stories, but it's also nice to know that everyone is overlooking the flaws and supporting me, nonetheless.





To everyone:

By the way, I've gone back and attached Chinese characters to all the character names in every chapter. I'm quite proud of myself, as I've never done this before. Maybe when I have more time, I'll do that for the main story as well, but right now, I think I better concentrate on updating.

[tweety365]

Hey Mel, if possible, why don't you include the Chinese characters for the title as well? It sure would give the story a more wuxia feel .

[Xaari]

On a related topic, which character do you find dangerous then?

Only Poison Snake.

Well, then I say, "Good riddance!" He doesn't sound like a prize to just turn around and marry someone else so quickly. He must not have loved her at all.

Oi, I'm fond of all my boys, haha. He's a Daoist but commands the largest of the four powerful organizations in Jianghu in my story. My poor heroine is stuck in two master-disciple relationships and two superior-subordinate relationships, so nothing ever works out for her.

Like I told xia0yuer in the other story thread, I am so grateful for having readers for both stories, especially for the main story, since I consider it "inferior" to this one. Thank you. I'm in a weepy mood today.

I'm now on Chapter 9. So much plotting, mwahaha!

[Melanie]

Hey Mel, if possible, why don't you include the Chinese characters for the title as well? It sure would give the story a more wuxia feel .

I think a literal translation would be 日月劍簿. Can someone who actually reads and writes Chinese help me? Or can anyone think of a better Chinese title? I want the story to have a wuxia feel!

Only Poison Snake.

Oh. I suppose SCN is not dangerous at all? He's just a warm and fuzzy teddy bear?

Oi, I'm fond of all my boys, haha. He's a Daoist but commands the largest of the four powerful organizations in Jianghu in my story. My poor heroine is stuck in two master-disciple relationships and two superior-subordinate relationships, so nothing ever works out for her.

Daoists can have romantic relationships and get married?

The last guy your heroine ends up with is her master, too? Why is this poor girl always in a subservient position?

I'm now on Chapter 9. So much plotting, mwahaha!

Glad you like it so far. I am embarrassed to admit that I don't really remember the details of the beginning anymore. Perhaps I should read the story, too.

[H.Ge-C.Liu]

日(Sun) 月(Moon) 剑术(Swordplay) 簿 (Book) 前传 (Prequel).

日月剑术簿前传. I didn't translate the Legendary， because it clashed with the 'zhuan' in 'qian zhuan/前传'. Of course, you can still add it in there though, behind the 簿, and then add on a 之 (connecting particle). Therefore the alternative would be 日月剑簿传奇之前传.
(You can also omit the 术 so that it's just Sun-Moon Swordbook Prequel/Legendary Sun-Moon Swordbook: Prequel)

@Mel: The above is just a literal translation. I think the second translation is a bit wordy and long. Tell me what you think when you see this, what you want to omit/add to either, so I (or someone else) can make it better.

[Xaari]

Whew, I can FINALLY write a reply! I've been waiting for days but spcnet never loads properly when I try to post. Oh my gosh my stuff got deleted AGAIN because spcnet suddenly logged me out?! Guess I'll retype from memory.

I think a literal translation would be 日月劍簿. Can someone who actually reads and writes Chinese help me? Or can anyone think of a better Chinese title? I want the story to have a wuxia feel!

剑谱 is the standard wuxia term for swordplay manual, so Legendary Book of Sun-Moon Swordplay can be translated as 日月剑谱传奇. I hate using the same character in a title twice, so for your prequel story, I recommend 前篇 instead of 前传, so 日月剑谱传奇之前篇. It sounds good when spoken aloud too.

Oh. I suppose SCN is not dangerous at all? He's just a warm and fuzzy teddy bear?

Well, SCN melts into a puddle in the presence of Black Rose, so yes, warm and fuzzy.

Daoists can have romantic relationships and get married?


The last guy your heroine ends up with is her master, too? Why is this poor girl always in a subservient position?

Well, he isn't a Daoist priest, but follows the Dao. Remember the Seven Heroes of Wudang in HSDS? They could marry.


Haha, indeed he taught her for a few months before they were separated for many years. But actually my heroine discovers that during their very first encounter, he recognized that her martial arts resembled his half-brother's, so he didn't teach her out of the kindness of his heart. The original agreement was that he would teach her if she stole some treasures for him, but he never would've followed up on his promise if he didn't have selfish competitive motives as well. (Rivalry between brothers whose mothers had been rivals too, haha.)

Glad you like it so far. I am embarrassed to admit that I don't really remember the details of the beginning anymore. Perhaps I should read the story, too.

I haven't had time to read further, but I'm excited to do so! I love to reread my own stories, so you should pick a nostalgic day to do so too.

[Black Rose]

No update, Melanie? Awww! Not that I'm trying to breathe down your neck, but I've already reread this story five times... Awww! I'm anxious to see how Sit Chung Nam will find Black Rose. Will they be separated for long? And who's the mysterious Bak Fei Lung? Who are you going to cast as that character? I bet she's a girl and Liu Shi Shi will be a prime candidate with all the prodding H.Ge-C.Liu has been giving you. If not, please cast Yang Mi! I don't care which one, since I like both actresses.

It looks like you're going "authentic" with all the Chinese titles your other readers have been suggesting. LOL. Wouldn't it be wonderful if this were adapted into a drama with the same cast members? I wonder if Wallace would like his role. LOL.