The Deer and The Cauldron - Unabridged Thread

[foxs]

On the other side, Zheng Keshuang had fought more than a dozen rounds; he saw Feng Jizhong’s hands and feet were clumsy, he kept staggering along as if his stances were extremely unsteady. Zheng Keshuang gathered his spirits, unleashing everything he had learned his entire life. He wanted to show off in front of Ah Ke, to win favor of this extremely beautiful woman. His fists created strong winds, his kicks made noise; move by move he pressed on. Feng Jizhong appeared to have barely enough strength to parry; often times he managed to evade at the nick of time [orig. jian jun yi fa – a thousand jun (unit of measure equivalent to thirty catties) one hair, ‘a thousand pounds hang by a thread’].

Ah Ke watched with anxious heart; she did not stop calling softly, “Aiyo, what a pity, he missed only a little.”

Wei Xiaobao came near and said, “Shifu, you, Senior has not completely recovered, these bandits are very vicious, when Zheng Gongzi is defeated, you, Senior, must not fight with them.”

Ah Ke angrily said, “Don’t you see he has complete upper hand? How can he lose? Really talk nonsense.”

Jiu Nan smiled and said, “These people do not seem to have evil intention toward Zheng Gongzi at all; they are just playing with him. The opponent’s martial art skill is a lot higher compared to Zheng Gongzi’s.”

Ah Ke was incredulous. “Shifu,” she asked, “Are you saying that this robber’s martial art is stronger than Zheng Gongzi?”

Jiu Nan smiled and said, “Do I need to tell you that? This man’s martial art skill is indeed excellent, I am afraid they are not necessarily some Funiu Mountain robbers. If they were really robbers, they would not carelessly blurt it out, saying that they were going to kidnap him and ask for a ransom.”

Wei Xiaobao thought, “In the end, Shifu’s insight is very clear.” He said, “In that case, why don’t disciple urge them not to fight?”

Ah Ke shot him a malicious look; she said, “What face do you have? What skill do you have that you can urge them not to fight?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Although this robber’s martial art is strong, there must be holes in his punching and kicking. Zheng Gongzi cannot beat him, I guarantee that within ten moves I will beat him and make him flee to the wilderness.”

Jiu Nan knew his martial art skill was meager, but perhaps he had some strange or weird tactics, enough to score victory. “These people do not seem to be evil people, you must not harm their lives.” After a short pause, she continued, “Those lowly tricks such us knock-out drug, poison and so on, must not be used, unless you are facing a life and death situation. You have entered my Iron Sword School, you must not damage our school’s reputation.”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I hear and obey Shifu’s instruction, I simply will not harm them.”

Jiu Nan sighed gently, as her mind suddenly revisited the Huashan’s summit, when the Iron Sword School’s Sect Leader Yuzhen Zi came to pick a fight with Priest Mu Sang. Yuzhen Zi had committed any imaginable misdeed: raping, looting, and so on. Speaking about Iron Sword School’s reputation, first of all, the number of disciples was very few, their reputation was not resounding; secondly, due to Yuzhen Zi’s conduct, in reality their reputation was not too great anyway. This young disciple was frivolous and jumpy, if he did not step into the proper way, it was very likely that in the future he would become Yuzhen Zi’s direct descendant, and that would be greatly inappropriate.

Seeing the sudden appearance of worried look on her face, naturally Wei Xiaobao did not understand the reason, he still thought that it was because she saw the Tian Di Hui warriors’ martial art was not weak, while her own martial art had not recovered, hence she felt it would be very difficult to deal with this situation. Thereupon he said, “Shifu, please set your heart at ease, I have a way to save Zheng Gongzi’s life.”

Ah Ke spat and said, “You speak nonsense again. Zheng Gongzi is going to win in a flash, what life do you want to save?”

Just as she finished speaking, there was ripping noise, Zheng Keshuang’s long gown was pulled and ripped. Zheng Keshuang was furious, he fought faster, but there was a series of continuous ripping noise; like the talon of an eagle Feng Jizhong’s ten fingers ripped his long gown, his undergarment and trousers, piece by piece. But he used just enough strength so that Zheng Keshuang’s flesh was not harmed.

Zheng Keshuang realized that with several more rips, he would be stark naked. In his fright he turned around trying to flee. Feng Jizhong bent his arms, both of his elbows were already stationed in front of Zheng Keshuang’s chest. Zheng Keshuang hastily pulled back, while sending out a double-punch. Suddenly he felt his wrist tightened, Feng Jizhong’s left hand grabbed his right hand, his right hand gripped Zheng Keshuang’s left hand. In one fluid motion he twisted around, sending Zheng Keshuang’s away. “Catch this!” he shouted. Unexpectedly this throw had sent Zheng Keshuang’s body seven, eight zhang away.

Priest Xuanzhen launched his qinggong to catch up, he raised his head and called out, “Gao Xiongdi, your turn!”

Gao Yanchao leaped immediately. Fan Gang, Xu Tianchuan, Guan Anji, and the others thought it was fun; they all shouted and rushed to join the game. Priest Xuanzhen caught Zheng Keshuang and tossed him over, he fell just as Gao Yanchao rushed over. Gao Yanchao caught him and threw him several zhang away toward Xu Tianchuan.

These people’s strength varied, some were stronger than the others, their qinggong also varied, some high, some low; when they threw Zheng Keshuang, some managed to throw him farther than the other, when they rushed to catch him, some could move faster than the other, yet Zheng Keshuang stayed in the air for several dozen zhang, and had never fallen to the ground. The Tian Di Hui warriors displayed what they were really good at; it was only now that they revealed their true skill.

Guan Anji’s physical strength was amazing; he tossed Zheng Keshuang about four, five zhang high in the air, and when he fell, he gave Zheng Keshuang’s back a push with both palms, two lines of force working together to send Zheng Keshuang high to the air, as if he was soaring to the clouds or riding in the fog.

Wei Xiaobao was watching with extreme delight; he clapped and laughed heartily. ‘Bang!’ Suddenly Ah Ke knocked the back of his head heavily with her knuckles. He was startled and quickly turned his head around. Ah Ke was frightened and angry at the same time; she anxiously said, “They are going to kidnap him, you … quickly save him.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “They have no enmity with Zheng Gongzi, Shifu said that they are just playing with him; why would you be worry?”

“No, they are not,” Ah Ke said, “They are going to kidnap him, to demand ransom for one million taels.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “There are lots of money in Zheng Gongzi’s home. They can easily afford to pay three millions, four millions taels. One million taels is not a big deal.”

Ah Ke stomped her right foot heavily on the floor. “Ay, don’t you have eyes?” she said, “These bandits will … will make him suffer extreme distress.”

Wei Xiaobao whispered in her ear, “You want me to save him? It’s not difficult, as long as you agree to be my wife.”

“Nonsense,” Ah Ke angrily said.

Looking up, she saw that after the last man caught Zheng Keshuang, he did not throw him up anymore; she heard someone calling out, “Hey, quickly go get the money and come back to Mount Funiu to redeem him. We won’t harm this fellow’s life, we will only give him three hundred floggings. The money is here one day early, he will suffer three hundred less floggings. If you are ten days late, he will suffer three thousand more floggings.”

Ah Ke grabbed Wei Xiaobao’s hand and anxiously said, “Did you hear that? Did you hear that? They are going to give him three hundred floggings every day. From here to Taiwan is very far, they won’t necessarily make it back in one month.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Three hundred floggings every day. Supposing they took two months, two months is 60 days, three times six is eighteen, it’s only 1800 floggings …”

“Ay, you are wrong,” Ah Ke said, “It’s 18,000 floggings. You are really …”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “I am not good in counting. With 18,000 floggings, his ‘pigu gong’ [buttocks skill] can be trained to perfection.”

Ah Ke was extremely angry; she flung his hand and said, “I won’t pay you any attention.” In her anger and anxiety, she broke up crying.

“Alright, alright,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Don’t cry, I’ll think of something. But my proposal just now, you must not go back on your words.”

“You quickly save him, we’ll talk about it later,” Ah Ke said.

Wei Xiaobao knew that she was only blurting perfunctorily, she would never agree under any circumstances to really marry him; he said, “I will go through water and tread on fire for you, I won’t decline your request under any circumstances, but in the future you must not bully me again.”

“Yes, yes,” Ah Ke said, “Quickly go, quickly go!” While saying that, her eyes had never met his, she kept her gaze on the distant Zheng Keshuang. She saw those bandits tied his hands behind his back, and put him onto the horseback; very soon they were going to take him away. In a moment of desperation, she put her hand on Wei Xiaobao’s back and gave him a push.

Wei Xiaobao cursed in his heart, “His granny, laozi met a beautiful girl, she always asks me to save her sweetheart. Laozi may be extremely skillful in becoming a fool [orig. ‘yuan da tou’ – someone with more money than sense]; perhaps my ‘yuan da tou gong’ is also trained to perfection.” Quickly he rushed forward and called out, “Hey, hey Funiu Montain’s big kings[1], zaixia has something to say.”

The crowd of heroes was already waiting for him to bravely step forward; they turned around immediately. “Xiao Xiongdi,” Gao Yanchao said, “What is it that you want to say?”

“Why did you catch him?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

Gao Yanchao replied, “The brethren in mountain fort is many, yet we lack provision. Today we temporarily detain him, because we want to borrow one million taels from his father.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “One million taels, that’s a small matter. Why don’t I lend it to you?”

Gao Yanchao laughed aloud and said, “Xiao Xiongdi, what is your honored surname and great given name? What makes you talk big like that?”

“My name is Wei Xiaobao,” Wei Xiaobao replied.

“Aiyo,” Gao Yanchao exclaimed; he cupped his fist and bowed, saying, “Turns out it’s the Little White Dragon Hero Wei [the word here is ‘ying xiong’, not ‘da xia’]. You killed the Number One Warrior of Manchuria Oboi, your name became famous throughout the world, we admire you very much. Today we can pay our respect to our revered model, it is indeed the blessing of three lifetimes.”

Fan Gang and the others respectfully bowed and saluted. Wei Xiaobao cupped his fist to return the salute while saying, “I do not dare to accept the honor.”

Gao Yanchao said, “In view of Hero Wei’s great face, we’ll let this fellow go. That one million taels we do not dare to ask anymore.”

Xu Tianchuan fetched two big silver yuanbao from his pocket and presented the money respectfully with both hands, saying, “Hero Wei, if you do not have enough traveling expense along the way, here is a hundred taels, please accept it and use it first.”

“Thank you very much,” Wei Xiaobao said, while accepting the yuanbao. And then he turned around to give it to Ah Ke.

Not in a million years would Ah Ke expect this little vile creature’s reputation was this resounding. When these devils and monsters big robbers heard him announcing his name, they acted as if they had met their superior. How could she know that this ‘little vile creature’ was indeed those ‘big robbers’ immediate superior? In order to please their superior, these ‘big robbers’ had deliberately redoubled their effort to flatter him, and thus had performed a good play. She was pleasantly surprised, thinking that finally Zheng Gongzi would escape from danger.

But she saw Feng Jizhong took a step forward and said, “Wait a moment. Hero Wei, you killed Oboi, we extremely admire you. It’s just that we do not know each other. How do we know that you are indeed Hero Wei and not someone pretending to be him, assuming the Senior’s great name to come out and swindle us?”

“What you said makes sense,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “What can I do so that Sire is convinced?”

Feng Jizhong said, “Zaixia brazenly asks Hero Wei to give me direction with three moves. The Number One Warrior of Manchuria died in your hands, naturally Honored Sir’s martial art skill is no small matter. Whether you are real or fake, once we test it we will find out.”

“Very well,” Wei Xiaobao said, “We will only try the style, one touch and we stop.”

“Absolutely,” Feng Jizhong said, “I am asking Hero Wei to be lenient, so that zaixia will not seriously hurt.”

Wei Xiaobao was secretly amused; he thought, “Feng Dage usually does not like to talk; who would have thought that when playacting, he could emulate the actors very well.” Thereupon he said, “Laoxiong needs not be polite, perhaps I am not your match.”

With left hand finger pointed out, light as a feather his right palm struck out; only after moving for half a chi, the palm suddenly circled around and struck down diagonally. It was precisely the move from Bo’re Palm that Cheng Guan demonstrated, called the ‘without color without shape’.

Feng Jizhong’s had a vast knowledge and experience. “Wonderful!” he called out, “This is a masterstroke from Bo’re Palm, called ‘without color …’ something.” Stretching out his hand to block, he threw his upper body backward to evade too far that he nearly fell down.

Actually, there was not even half a part of internal energy; Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Sire is right. This move is called ‘without color without shape’.” And then he raised his left hand and struck down diagonally from upper right corner to lower left. Suddenly his five fingers turned into a claw and moved down several times.

Feng Jizhong loudly shouted, “Amazing! There is the ‘Bo’re Palm’ divine skill, and then there is ‘spirited vulture listening to the scripture’.” Assuming the horse stance, he pushed both palms slowly forward, the center of his palm lightly touched Wei Xiaobao’s fingertips. Immediately he cried out, “Ah!” and tumbled anxiously backward three times. While somersaulting, he secretly circulated his internal energy so that by the time he stood up, his entire face was red as if he had just drunk seventeen, eighteen bowls of strong wine. Hid body swayed several times, and then he fell sitting down. Shaking his head, he said, “Can’t … can’t do it … no more fight. My utmost admiration! Hero Wei, thank you very much for sparing my life.”

Wei Xiaobao cupped his fist and said, “Laoxiong deliberately yielded to me.” While saying that, he winked several times.

Feng Jizhong’s appearance looked very real; he had a dejected expression, mixed with gratitude, on his face, but there was also a hint of heartfelt admiration.

Xu Tianchuan took a step forward and said, “Hero Wei’s martial art is astonishing, indeed your name is not in vain. Let ziaxia experience several moves.”

“Very well!” Wei Xiaobao said. Moving swiftly forward, his hands crossed each other, one hand swung to Xu Tianchuan’s left chest, one hand seized his right flank. It was a move from Shaolin Pai’s upper class martial art, ‘picking flower qinna [grab and capture]’.

Xu Tianchuan saw the brilliance of this qinna technique, he could not help but admiring him in his heart, “Wei Xiangzhu is extremely smart, as soon as he started learning martial art, his progress is amazingly quick.” He did not know that although Wei Xiaobao executed the style correctly, he did not have the slightest bit of internal strength, so that even if he was seized by him, he would not suffer any damage. Xu Tianchuan’s stature was short and small, the type of martial art he was most adept was, coincidentally, the qinna. Immediately he unleashed his special skill and sparred with Wei Xiaobao.

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[1] Common people usually address bandits or robbers as ‘kings’.

[foxs]

After several moves, the hands of both men interlocked with each other. “Ah!” Xu Tianchuan cried out, his right hand hung limply on his side, he was pretending that it was twisted out of joint. “My utmost admiration,” he said, and took two steps backward. His left hand cradling his own right hand, lifted it up and pulled it out, as if he was fixing the joint. This fixing joint skill was also an upper class technique of qinna martial art. He performed the procedure with ‘not one thread loose’, his movement was clean and deft.

One after another Fan Gang, Priest Xuanzhen and Li Lishi stepped forward asking for a match. Wei Xiaobao kept using the upper-class styles that Cheng Guan taught him. In just three or four moves, or perhaps seven, eight moves, Fan Gang and the others were defeated.

In a loud and clear voice Gao Yanchao said, “We have witnessed Hero Wei’s brilliant moves today, indeed our horizons have been expanded. Xiaoren all are full of admiration. When Hero Wei pass by Funiu Mountain someday, please do not forget to go up the mountain and stay for several days.”

“Naturally I will receive the benefit of disturbing you,” Wei Xiaobao replied.

The group of heroes bowed with cupped fists, and led their horses away. They walked to the edge of the town before mounting their horses and galloped away. Unexpectedly they did not dare to mount their horses in front of Wei Xiaobao; it was a display of utmost respect.

Ah Ke finally submitted to him, “Turns out this ‘little vile creature’ has superior martial art; every time he pretended he was beaten, he was simply yielding to me.”

Things had come to this, Zheng Keshuang had no choice but to come to Wei Xiaobao to express his thanks. Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Zheng Gongzi does not need to be polite, I was simply lucky that I accidentally defeated them. Speaking about real martial art, I am far too inferior compared to Sire.”

He was speaking the truth, but to Zheng Keshuang’s ears it was highly sarcastic; he could not stop his face from turning deep red.

That evening they arrived at Xian County to the south. After settling down in an inn, Jiu Nan dismissed Ah Ke and asked Wei Xiaobao, “Those people who were playacting with you during the day, they are your friends, aren’t they?”

Jiu Nan’s insight was very keen; Feng Jizhong, Xu Tianchuan and the others putting on an act, they were able to deceive Zheng Keshuang and Ah Ke, but how could they deceive this martial art expert? Wei Xiaobao knew that his trickery was exposed; he laughed and said, “They are not really my friends.”

Jiu Nan said, “The martial art skill of every one of those people is quite established; how could they agree to accompany you playing that trick?”

Wei Xiaobao said with a laugh, “Most likely they cannot bear to see Zheng Gongzi’s arrogance, so they borrowed disciple to knock him down several notches.”

Jiu Nan thought that his answer was very reasonable. She asked, “The way you executed those several moves of yours: Bo’re Palm, Picking Flower Qinna, was not bad at all.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “I was just putting on airs, the roar of a toothless tiger; totally useless.”

While they were talking, they heard the clamor of hooves beat, a large group of people had arrived at the inn. Someone with a loud voice said, “One upper-level room, must be the best you have. The rest of us can accept whatever you have.”

As soon as Wei Xiaobao heard this, he was delighted, since he recognized the voice to be the Shaking-head Lion Wu Lishen of the Mu Palace. “Shifu,” he asked, “Are we going to kill Wu Sangui?”

Jiu Nan said, “This time the injury I suffered was really not light. Although the injury is healed, my internal energy is not recovered yet. I must find a quiet and secluded place to recuperate several days before we can decide what we are going to do. Otherwise, if I meet some strong enemies again, I won’t be able to fight, and will have to depend on your muddled and crazy techniques; our Iron Sword School’s reputation won’t look too good.” While saying that, she could not help but smiling.

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Shifu’s body is important.”

From this traveling sack he fetched some best quality Qiqiang Longjing tea leaves and soaked it inside a covered teacup. He said, “In the future disciple will learn Shifu’s martial art. When I meet the enemy, I can fight him justly and honorably. Shifu, I want to go to the market to see if there are any fresh vegetables.”

Going out of the room, he saw Ah Ke and Zheng Keshuang were walking side-by-side out of the inn; they looked very intimate with each other. Immediately a whiff of jealousy bubbling up in his chest, hence he followed behind them.

Ah Ke turned her head and said, “Why are you following me?”

“I am not following you,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I am going to buy vegetable for Shifu.”

“Alright,” Ah Ke said, “Zheng Gongzi, let’s go over there.” She pointed to a small hill west of the city walls.

Wei Xiaobao’s jealousy flame was blazing; he said, “Be careful, don’t bump into some mountain’s big kings, I can’t come to rescue you.”

Ah Ke shot him a malicious look and said, “Who needs your rescue?”

Zheng Keshuang knew Wei Xiaobao was mentioning the scandal involving him earlier, he was furious. “Humph,” he snorted, and quickly left.

Wei Xiaobao followed these two people with his eyes. Suddenly he heard Ah Ke was giggling. In his fury, he reached out to pull his dagger, he wanted to pursue them and kill Zheng Keshuang. But after only two steps, he thought, “If we fight for real, I am not those two people’s match.” Therefore, he suppressed his anger and continued to the market to buy some kuomo mushroom, winter-picked mushroom, wooden-ear mushroom, and bean vermicelli, which he brought back to the inn.

Ah Ke and Zheng Keshuang had not returned. Imagining that those two people were discussing passion and talking about love in some secluded place, he could not suppress his anger and cursed silently. Suddenly someone lightly patted his shoulder and embraced him, while saying with a laugh, “Wei Xiongdi, you are here!”

Wei Xiaobao turned his head around and saw that it was the Imperial Bodyguards Chief Dolong. He could not help but was ecstatic. “What are you doing here?” he said with a laugh.

He saw behind Dolong there were about a dozen men, they were all Imperial Bodyguards, but were dressed in common soldiers’ uniform. Seeing Wei Xiaobao, all of them were beaming with joy, but they did not go forward to greet him. Dolong said in a low voice, “There are other people here, let’s go to my room and talk.” Turned out these men were also staying at the same inn.

When they got to Dolong’s room, one by one the Imperial Bodyguards came forward to pay their respect. Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Enough, enough.” Taking out one-thousand-tael banknote, he laughed and said, “Brothers, take this to buy some drink.”

The Imperial Bodyguards knew that this Deputy Chief was very liberal with money, each time they saw him, they would always enjoy some advantage. Immediately they happily expressed their thanks.

Dolong said in a low voice, “Wei Xiongdi, ever since you met with danger on Mount Wutai, every day His Majesty was thinking about you, hence he sent us out to seek for you.”

Wei Xiaobao was very grateful; he stood up and said, “Thank you for His Majesty’s benevolence. But how can I dare to toil brothers’ honorable selves?”

Dolong laughed and said, “Actually, His Majesty did not send me out, he only sent fifteen Imperial Bodyguard brothers. But I volunteered myself. First, as your big brother I am anxious to find you; second, this is a good opportunity for me to get out of the Capital and have fun. This has been your brother’s great fortune.” Everybody laughed.

Dolong continued, “This time, it can be considered that we have set up a great merit. When we return to the Capital and His Majesty finds out and Wei Xiongdi has escaped from danger, he must be extremely delighted. We have made inquiries along the way, but did not hear any news about Wei Xiongdi. We heard about a group of traitors palling a rebellion instead, we heard that they are going to hold a large assemble at Hejian Prefecture to discuss business. So we came to investigate.”

“I am here also for this matter,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I heard the assembly this time is called ‘turtle-slaying assembly’ or something like that.”

Dolong raised his thumb. “Formidable, formidable,” he said, “Nothing escape Wei Xiongdi’s eyes.”

“What information have you gathered?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

Dolong said, “Two brothers here sneaked into the assembly. They found out that they want to deal with Wu Sangui. Every province elected their own ‘meng zhu’. We have several names of these ‘meng zhu’.”

Wei Xiaobao ‘s heart was moved; he asked, “Which ones?”

Dolong replied, “Yunnan has Mu Jiansheng, Fujian has Taiwan rebel Zheng Jing’s second son called Zheng Keshuang.” And then he mentioned several other alliance leaders’ names.

Wei Xiaobao asked, “Those Mu Jiansheng, Zheng Keshuang, and so on, do you know what they look like?”

Dolong replied, “It was a dark at night, these two brothers could not see them clearly, they also did not dare to come too close.”

“Duo Dage [reminder: in Chinese ‘Dolong’ is Duo Long],” Wei Xiaobao said, “When you return to the Capital, please report to His Majesty, tell him that his servant Wei Xiaobao is also investigating this matter. As soon as I have their appearance, I will go back to the Capital to present a memorial to the Emperor.”

“Yes, yes,” Dolong said, “Wei Xiongdi is so loyal in working for the Emperor. This time you set up a great merit, His Majesty will surely reward you handsomely.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “If there is any merit, won’t that be for the benefit of our Imperial Bodyguards’ face? Right now I have something that I’d like to ask brothers to toil for me.”

All the Imperial Bodyguards replied, “Wei Fu Zongguan [deputy chief] sends us for an errand, we will definitely do.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “This is a matter that annoys me the most. I have a good lady friend that is fooling around with a frivolous young fellow right now …”

He had just spoken to this point, fury had already filled the Imperial Bodyguards’ breasts; they all opened their mouth, cussing and swearing, “His granny, which fellow is so brazen, dare to make a move on Wei Fu Zongguan’s girl? Let’s go and kill this fellow.”

“You don’t need to kill him,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I only want you to beat him a little, to vent my anger. But this fellow is my friend, so I don’t want you to beat him too severely either. Especially you must not touch that young lady.”

The Imperial Bodyguards laughed and said, “Naturally we will pay particular attention to this. Wei Fu Zongguan’s good lady friend, who dare to offend?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Those two people were heading west. As soon as you make your move, I will pretend to come out and save them by driving you away. I want you to yield to me so much that Xiongdi can show off in front of my beloved.”

The Imperial Bodyguards burst out in laughter; they all said, “Wei Fu Zongguan’s assignment this time is most amusing.”

Dolong said with a laugh, “In doing this job, hey, every one of us has to be extra careful. If we reveal the horse’ leg, Wei Fu Zongguan will not consider all of you as brothers anymore.”

The Imperial Bodyguards all laughed and said, “For Wei Fu Zongguan’s important matter, we will all go through water and tread on fire, how could we dare to shrink away?”

An imperial bodyguard said, “Damn it, this fellow harasses Wei Fu Zongguan’s good lady friend, it’s just like he is harassing my own mother. Laozi will fight him to the death.” Everybody laughed.

“Quiet down,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Don’t let other people hear.”

Stroking their fists and rubbing their palms, the Imperial Bodyguards went out the room, laughing and giggling. Wei Xiaobao brought the vegetable to the kitchen, he gave five qian to the cook and instructed him to prepare exquisite vegetarian dish. And then he slowly walked to the western end of the town.

He only walked for a little more than a li when he heard shouting and cursing, and saw in the distance several dozen of people were fighting with weapons in their hands; it was a very noisy fight. He thought, “This fellow is not bad, fighting alone against many enemies, unexpectedly he is able to stand.”

Unhurriedly he walked toward the fight, and could not help but was startled. He saw the Imperial Bodyguards were surrounding seven, eight people, engaging them in a fierce combat. The opponents had their backs against the city wall, they were trapped in a corner but were fighting fiercely. They were none other than Mu Jiansheng, Wu Lishen and several other people.

There was a young woman by Mu Jiansheng’s side; his hands wielded a pair of sabers, he fought ferociously that his hair was in a mess. On top of the city wall there were a couple of people standing hand-in-hand, watching the fight below; they were precisely Ah Ke and Zheng Keshuang.

Wei Xiaobao was angry, but he was also amused; he thought, “Damn it, they have the wrong people. They must have seen Mu Gongzi first, and saw that he has a young lady by his side; without distinguishing red-blue or black-white, they simply rushed to attack.”

He saw Dolong, holding a demon-head saber in his hand, was standing behind those people, supervising the fight. Immediately he walked over to him and said in a low voice, “You have the wrong couple, it’s those two on top of the city wall.” Finished speaking, he immediately walked away.

Dolong shouted, “It’s not right, hey, they are friends. The person who owes money is not you. Alright, everybody step back, let them go.” As soon as the Imperial Bodyguards heard it, they pulled back one after another.

Mu Jiansheng, Wu Lishen and the others were not many, they were not these people’s match. Previously they thought that they had been recognized and that these Qing soldiers wanted to arrest them. Luckily they withdrew, which was exactly what they had been hoping for.

Wu Lishen caught a glimpse of Wei Xiaobao. “Ashamed,” he groaned inwardly, “This time we also receive Wei En Gong’s [benefactor] help. Otherwise, it’s not a big deal if I get killed, but if Xiao Gongye [young master/Duke] fell into the Tatars’ hands, I can’t redeem it with ten thousand deaths.” Since at that time it was inconvenient to acknowledge Wei Xiaobao, he hurried along with Mu Jiansheng and the others out of the city gate, and rushed northward.

Wei Xiaobao went up the city wall and asked Ah Ke, “Shijie, why did they fight? Who are those people?”

Ah Ke pouted her little mouth and said, “Who knows? Those soldiers were demanding some payment.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Let us quickly return to the inn, don’t let Shifu be anxious over us.”

Ah Ke said, “You go back first, I’ll come soon afterward.”

She had just finished speaking, the numerous Imperial Bodyguards already rushed up the city wall. An Imperial Bodyguard pointed to Zheng Keshuang and shouted, “It’s him, this fellow is the one who owes me money.”

[foxs]

Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice, “Zheng Gongzi, Shijie, let’s go quickly. Tatar soldiers commit all kind of outrages, it will be very troublesome to provoke them.”

Ah Ke was also somewhat afraid, she said, “Right, let’s go.”

An Imperial Bodyguard rushed over; pointing to Zheng Keshuang he said, “The night before last you were having fun spending money with young women in a brothel in Hejian Prefecture, you owed me ten thousand taels, quickly pay me back.”

“Rubbish,” Zheng Keshuang angrily said, “Who went to the brothel? How can I owe you money?”

“You still deny it?” the Imperial Bodyguard said, “The day before yesterday in the evening, you had two ‘powdered heads’ on your knees, what were their names again?”

Another Imperial Bodyguard said, “The older one was called Ah Cui, the younger one was Hong Bao. You turned to the left and kissed and drank a mouthful of wine, then you turned to the right and caressed her cheek and drank another mouthful of wine, so loose and happy. Do you still deny it?”

Another Imperial Bodyguard said, “With two ‘powdered heads’ in your arms you threw the dice with us, and lost two thousand taels. Eager to win your capital back, you borrowed from me three thousand taels, and borrowed from this laoxiong two thousand taels. Afterward you borrowed from him one thousand five hundred, and from him two thousand taels.”

Another man said, “And from me you borrowed one thousand five hundred taels; altogether you owe us ten thousand taels of shiny white silver.”

Five men held out their hands together and said, “Killing people you pay with your life, owing money you have to pay back. Quickly pay!”

Ah Ke recalled the scene at the brothel where she saw Wei Xiaobao was fooling around with the prostitutes, she also recalled a few days ago inside the haystack was groping and pinching her body; it seemed to her that these men were not faking it. Moreover, she remembered that the night before last was exactly the eve of the ‘turtle-slaying assembly’. She recalled that Zheng Gongzi did not return to the inn until very late at night, and in the morning she saw him having a hangover; he said that certain hero and warrior invited him for a drink. He did drink all right, but it was not any hero or warrior, rather, it was the s1uts at the brothel. Thinking to this point, she could not stop tears from flowing down her face.

The Imperial Bodyguards had blocked Zheng Keshuang’s escape route; they had him completely surrounded. Someone behind him reached out and grabbed the back of his neck. Zheng Keshuang was furious; his elbow struck backward, heavily he hit the pit of the man’s stomach. The Imperial Bodyguard cried out and doubled up in pain. The rest of the Imperial Bodyguards closed in, giving him punches and kicks. Fighting one on one, these people were not Zheng Keshuang’s match, but with seven, eight people attacking him at once, very soon he was sprawling on the ground.

Ah Ke anxiously called out, “If you have something to say, let’s talk. Don’t hit people carelessly.” And she scrambled forward to help him.

“Hey, Big Miss[1],” Dolong said, “It has nothing to do with you; don’t get involved with this muddle head.”

“Go away,” Ah Ke anxiously said; she reached out to push Dolong’s shoulder away.

Dolong was a martial art master of the Imperial Palace, naturally his martial art skill was superb. With light brush of his left hand, he sent her tumbling several steps backward.

On the other side, the Imperial Bodyguards were punching and kicking, hacking and chopping Zheng Keshuang; they did not stop slapping Zheng Keshuang’s face. Ah Ke anxiously attacked several moves, but with a chuckle Dolong easily parried her and pushed her farther and farther away from Zheng Keshuang. Dolong said with a laugh, “Big Miss, this playboy is dining, wining, whoring and gambling; nothing that he did not do. Early morning today he still wanted to borrow five thousand taels from me, saying that he wanted to marry two ‘powdered heads’ and take them home to be his concubines. Why do you want to protect him?”

Ah Ke took several steps back and shouted anxiously, “If you have something else to say … we can talk it over slowly.”

An Imperial Bodyguard laughed and said, “If you tell him to pay back our money, naturally we won’t beat him.” While saying that, ‘whack!’ he sent another punch on Zheng Keshuang’s face; immediately blood flowing out of his nose.

Another Imperial Bodyguard pulled his saber and shouted, “Let’s cut his two ears first, and then we talk.” While saying that, he waved his saber in chopping motion, twice.

Ah Ke pulled Wei Xiaobao’s hand, in her anxiety, she almost cried. “What shall we do? What shall we do?” she said.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Actually, I do have ten thousand taels; but I really don’t want to give it to him so that he can gamble and visit prostitutes.”

“They are going to cut his ears,” Ah Ke said, “Please lend the money to me then.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “If Shijie wants to borrow money, I would lend you even a hundred thousand taels, let alone only ten thousand taels. But you will be my wife in the future, so it does not count as a debt. Just tell Zheng Gongzi to borrow from me.”

Ah Ke stomped her feet. “Ay,” she said, “You are really …” She called out, “Hey, don’t hit, we’ll pay you back.”

The Imperial Bodyguards had hit enough, so they stopped, but they still held on to Zheng Keshuang and did not let him go.

Ah called out, “Zheng Gongzi, my Shidi has the money, just borrow from him to pay them back.”

Zheng Keshuang was really angry that he almost passed out; but seeing the steel saber swaying back and fro in front of his face, he was afraid that they would really cut his ears. He became terrified and looked at Wei Xiaobao, imploring him with his eyes.

Ah Ke tugged at Wei Xiaobao’s sleeve. “Lend him,” she said in a low voice.

An Imperial Bodyguard said with a cold laugh, “Ten thousand taels is not a small amount of money. Without any guarantee, how can he easily loan it to others? This fellow loves to borrow money the most, didn’t we all fall into his trick?”

“If only this Miss is willing to be the guarantee,” another Imperial Bodyguard said, “If this fellow did not pay back, then it will fall onto this Miss’ responsibility to pay it back.”

The Imperial Bodyguard who had his saber raised said in a loud voice, “Another family’s Big Miss is neither a friend nor a relative to this stinky fellow, why would she be willing to be the guarantor? If the ten thousand taels is not paid back, what else can she do unless using her body to repay the debt by marrying this young rich kid?”

The Imperial Bodyguards roared with laughter. “That’s right,” they said, “That is a brilliant idea.”

“Shijie,” Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice, “It won’t work. You heard them, won’t it be too unfair to you?”

‘Slap!’ an Imperial Bodyguard heavily slapped Zheng Keshuang on his face again. His hands and feet were being held by these people, he was helpless to resist. An Imperial Bodyguard shouted, “Just beat him severely, beat him to death, just consider the ten thousand taels is going down the drain. This is called ‘the eyes do not see, the heart does not feel vexed’.” ‘Slap! Slap!’ he then slapped Zheng Keshuang several times.

Zheng Keshuang called out, “Don’t hit! Don’t hit! Wei Xiongdi, if you have the money, please lend ten thousand taels to me. I … I guarantee that I will pay you back.”

Wei Xiaobao cast a sideway glance toward Ah Ke. “Shijie,” he asked, “Do you think I should lend it to him?”

With tears brimming on her eyes, Ah Ke sobbed, “Lend … lend it to him.”

An Imperial Bodyguard on the side caught on to please Wei Xiaobao, he said with a loud voice, “Big Miss is willing to be the guarantor. In the future Big Miss will marry the young rich gentleman, this stinky fellow is actually the matchmaker.”

Wei Xiaobao fished a pack of banknotes from his pocket, counted ten thousand taels, and was about to give it to Zheng Keshuang, but then he changed his mind and handed it over to Ah Ke instead. Ah Ke received it and said, “Here’s the money, please let him go.”

The Imperial Bodyguards all thought that Deputy Chief Wei said that he was going to fight to rescue others, but now he was using money to save others; they were not sure if it was what Wei Xiaobao had in mind, thereupon they were still holding on to Zheng Keshuang and did not let him go.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Here is ten thousand taels, take it and divide it among yourselves. Damn it, just consider it a reward of your effort. You are all such muddleheaded son of a b1tch, quickly release him.”

As soon as the Imperial Bodyguards heard it, they were delighted. They understood that Wei Xiaobao intended to give them the ten thousand taels as their reward; hence they let Zheng Keshuang go immediately.

Ah Ke reached out to help him up and to give the money to him. Zheng Keshuang was extremely angry, he snatched the money away and without looking he handed it to an Imperial Bodyguard by his side.

Wei Xiaobao cursed, “You are a bunch of sons of a b1tch, Tatars soldiers, you beat my friend like this, laozi will not let this matter rest.”

Ah Ke was afraid of prolonged dispute, she hastily said, “Don’t curse, let’s go back.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “I am furious just thinking about this, the debt has to be paid, and we have already paid it. But Zheng Gongzi has suffered the beatings, didn’t he suffer it in vain?”

Dolong laughed aloud and said, “This fellow has just shed away his ‘poor star’, but his lewdness is on the rise. Damn it, why do you always want to be near other family’s Big Miss?” Reaching out, he grabbed the back of Zheng Keshuang’s neck and lifted his body up. Turning him around in the air, he shouted, “Let me throw you down the city wall, I want to see whether you will die or you will live.” Zheng Keshuang and Ah Ke screamed together.

Dolong dropped Zheng Keshuang heavily on the ground; he shouted, “Later on I want you to leave this Miss far away. Other family’s good Miss, if she is seen together with you, a boy who crazily visit prostitute and gamble excessively, who ‘imitate the dog and steal chicken’ [i.e. to dally with women], her reputation will be ruined. Let me tell you this: if in the future I ever see you by this Miss’ side, laozi will definitely wring your dog head off your neck.” While saying that, his left hand grabbed the root of Zheng Keshuang’s braid, he coiled Zheng Keshuang’s braid twice around the palm of his right hand; and then he took a very deep breath, his chest swelled, the muscles on his arms and the back of his hands bulged out, with a loud roar his hands pulled apart, ‘snap!’ the braid broke into two.

Seeing a display of such a divine strength, the Imperial Bodyguards broke into thunderous applause. Dolong’s natural strength was enormous, plus he trained the external, hard type of martial art. His arms had a thousand-catty power. Fortunately his left hand was holding the root of the braid, otherwise, since Zheng Keshuang’s braid was fake, with one light pull it would be revealed that he was not obeying the imperial court’s order, which was a major criminal offense for a subject of Qing Dynasty.

Dolong tossed the half braid away, his five fingers, which knuckles were as big as pestles, forked Zheng Keshuang’s neck, followed by his left hand also grabbed the back of his neck. His hands slowly tightened, Zheng Keshuang’s face slowly swollen red, until finally his tongue stuck out; very soon he would be choked to death. The dozen or so Imperial Bodyguards drew their weapons and positioned themselves around the two people, to prevent Ah Ke from stepping forward and rescue him.

Wei Xiaobao shouted, “The money has been returned, you still want to kill him?” He charged forward, ‘Bang!’ and he sent a punch toward an Imperial Bodyguard’s lower abdomen. “Aiyo!” the Imperial Bodyguard cried out, and tumbled down, howling and screaming, flailing his hands and feet randomly, and was not able to crawl up no matter what.

With both fists Wei Xiaobao attacked Dolong using the move ‘a pair of dragons fought over a pearl’. Dolong’s two hands were holding Zheng Keshuang’s neck, he could not parry, and thus was hit by the fists. The move ‘a pair of dragons fought over a pearl’ was originally intended to strike the enemy’s temples [‘sun’ acupoints], but Dolong was big and tall, while Wei Xiaobao was short and small; his two fists were hitting Dolong’s lower back.

Pretending to be angry, Dolong cursed, “Dead little demon, laozi will choke you to death.” Letting Zheng Keshuang go, he fought with Wei Xiaobao.

Wei Xiaobao unleashed the martial art he learned from Hai Dafu and Cheng Guan. His movements were agile, each move each style was ingenious and very pleasing to the eye. Dolong’s fists created strong gust of wind. He struck just a few cun from within Wei Xiaobao’s side, suddenly he advanced swiftly and sent a ferocious kick. ‘Crack!’ the jujube tree by Wei Xiaobao’s side was broken. The Imperial Bodyguards broke into loud cheers.

Witnessing Dolong’s divine power, Ah Ke was afraid Wei Xiaobao would be beaten to death. “Shidi,” she called out, “Don’t fight, let’s go back.”

Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted. “She cares about me. In the end this little mother skin [xiao niang pi] is not without any conscience.”

Dolong sent another kick, sending a large rock on the ground flying away and falling down from the city wall. Wei Xiaobao moved faster and faster, ‘whack!’ his palm struck the opponent’s abdomen. “Ah!” Dolong cried out; he bent his knees and fell sitting down on the ground. “Laozi won’t give in, let’s fight again,” he called out.

Springing up, his arms moved up and down rapidly. Wei Xiaobao leaned sideways to evade, Dolong’s punch hit the city wall; instantly three pieces of large greenish black brick fell off. Amidst the flying dust, Wei Xiaobao sent a flying kick with his right leg; but before his toes even touched him, Dolong already roared as he slipped down from the city wall and fell onto the ground at the foot of the wall, and lay unmoving.

Wei Xiaobao was shocked; afraid that Dolong might really fell to his death, he bent over to look. Dolong raised his head and smiled, he winked and waved his hand, indicating that he was all right, and then immediately lay facing down on the ground. Wei Xiaobao finally felt relieved. The Imperial Bodyguards were shocked and frightened; they rushed down the city wall to look.

Wei Xiaobao pulled Ah Ke and said in a low voice, “Quickly go, quickly go.” Like a wisp of smoke the three of them ran back to the inn.

Back at the inn, Jiu Nan notice unusual expression on Ah Ke’s face, plus she was panting incessantly. “What happened?” she asked.

Ah Ke replied, “There were more than a dozen Tatar soldiers giving Zheng Gongzi some trouble, fortunately … fortunately Shidi overthrew the leader of those soldiers.”

Jiu Nan said, “Do this for me: stay quietly in the inn, do not wander anywhere and create trouble.” Ah Ke lowered her head in compliance.

After a while, concerned over Zheng Keshuang’s injury, she went to his room to pay a visit. She saw that his attendants had applied medicine on his wounds; he was asleep with the attendants accompanying him in the room.

Seeing her coming out of Zheng Keshuang’s room, Wei Xiaobao was angry and upset at the same time. “Why didn’t I tell them to really cut this fellow’s ears?” he mused, “This little girl is always worrying wholeheartedly about this stinky fellow. Even if I cut this fellow’s ears and poke his eyes blind, it seems that she will still consider him as her beloved treasure.” Despite of his sharp-witted and extensive knowledge, encountering this kind of matter of the heart between men and women, he was actually at his wits’ end.

Note:
The phrase ‘thorny gate provided another source of amusement’ in the Chapter’s title originated from Han Wendi’s [fourth Han emperor, personal name Liu Heng, reigned 180-157 BC] commendation of Zhou Yafu’s speech, referring to his strict military order; other generals fell short of his achievement. The original poem sang about Wu Sangui’s brutal and tyrannical way of dealing with the people as well as operating his armed forces. ‘Thorny gate’ was the ‘halberd gate’, which may also refer to the Imperial City Gates. This book borrows the phrase as an allegory of the Imperial Bodyguards went out of the Palace and deliberately created trouble.

---

[1] Da Guniang; ‘big’ here is not derogatory, but showing respect, as in ‘first/oldest’ or ‘great’; i.e. Dolong was being respectful.

[foxs]

Chapter 28 - Over the top passion takes a lot of twists and turns, but exquisite to those who painstakingly open their hearts.
(Translated by Foxs)

LuDingJi-28.jpg

In a very short period of time the dozen or so Mu Palace people were already in a very dangerous position. Wu Lishen groaned inwardly, he had no choice but to brandish his saber in fierce combat. The barbarian leader hopped up and down while loudly blabbering in barbarian tongue.

[foxs]

That night Wei Xiaobao slept until midnight, when suddenly he heard a light knock on his window. Still in daze, he sat up, and heard someone outside the window said in a low voice, “Wei En Gong [benefactor], it’s me.”

He focused his attention and recognized the voice as Wu Lishen’s. Quickly he walked toward the window and said in a low voice, “Is it Wu Er Shu [second uncle]?”

“I do not dare to accept the honor, it’s me,” Wu Lishen said.

Wei Xiaobao quietly opened the window. Wu Lishen leaped inside and embraced him. He seemed to be very happy. “En Gong,” he said is a low voice, “I think about you every day; I did not expect to see you in here.” Turning around, he closed the window, and then pulled Wei Xiaobao to sit side by side on the kang. He said, “During the great assembly at Hejian Prefecture, I inquired about you from your precious Society’s friends, but they were not willing to tell me.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “It’s not that they considered you as an outsider, and intentionally did not want to tell you. Actually, I attended the ‘turtle-slaying assembly’ in disguise; the Society brothers did not know.”

Wu Lishen felt relieved. “So that’s how it is,” he said, “Today we bumped into the Tatar soldiers, we also received En Gong’s help in getting out of difficult situation. Otherwise, I am afraid our Xiao Gongye would suffer mishap. Xiao Gongye wanted me to pay his utmost respect to En Gong, he is deeply grateful.”

“We all are good friends, there is no need to be polite,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Wu Er Shu, you keep calling me En Gong this and En Gong that, it sounds really awkward. If you consider me a friend, henceforth the use of this word to address me must be avoided.”

“Very well,” Wu Lishen replied, “I won’t call you En Gong, but you must not call me Er Shu either. From now on we call each other ‘Xiongdi’ [brother]. I am several years older, so I will call you Xiongdi.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Wonderful. That martial nephew of yours, Liu Yizhou, shouldn’t he call me Shishu then?”

Wu Lishen felt slightly embarrassed; he said, “That fellow has no future prospect; let us not mind him. Xiongdi, what are you up to?”

“This matter is complicated and not easy to express succinctly,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Er Ge [second brother], your Xiongdi has decided on marriage.”

“Congratulations, congratulations,” Wu Lishen said, “I wonder which family’s young lady?” Immediately he recalled, “Could it be Fang Yi? Has he found Miss Fang and Xiao Junzhu?” His whole face was beaming with delight.

“My wife is surnamed Chen,” Wei Xiaobao said, “But there is one problem, for which I am quite ashamed.”

“Why?” Wu Lishen asked.

“My wife has another good friend surnamed Zheng,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “This fellow’s moral quality is not upright and honest. He is fooling around with my wife, that is a small matter; he actually informed the Tatar soldiers about you. Those soldiers who were giving Xiao Gongye a hard time today, it was actually his idea.”

Wu Lishen was furious. “This fellow really is bored to be alive,” he said, “But I wonder why did he do that?”

“Do you know who this fellow is?” Wei Xiaobao said, “He is none other than Taiwan’s Yan Ping Jun Wang’s second son. He said that Yan Ping Jun Wang is in command over a large army, while your Mu Palace is in decline; without power and without potential, what else can you do?”

Wu Lishen angrily said, “Our Mu Palace is also an outstanding founding minister of the Great Ming who subdued Yunnan; how can it be compared to their Zheng Family who rise to power just recently?”

“Isn’t that so?” Wei Xiaobao said, “Yet this fellow said: whoever kills Wu Sangui will gain an enormous face in front of the world’s heroes; in Yunnan, you are the local bullies, compared to their Zheng Family in Taiwan, it will be a hundred times more convenient for you to kill Wu Sangui. He confides with me, saying that he wanted to eliminate Mu Family people first. I told him that our Tian Di Hui has already made a bet with Mu Palace to see who will get rid of Wu Sangui first. We are heroes and warriors; if we win, we must win brilliantly, if we lose, we must lose gracefully; how could we secretly plot against the competitor? This fellow refused to accept, hence he resorted to different ruse. Fortunately Tatar soldiers did not recognize Xiao Gongye, hence I was able to trick them into thinking that they had the wrong person and thus you were able to get away.”

“So that’s how it is! So that’s how it is!” Wu Lishen repeatedly said, “Damn it, this fellow is not human.”

“Er Ge,” Wei Xiaobao said, “We must teach this fellow a lesson. But looking at Yan Ping Jun Wang’s face, we must not kill him. It would be best if you could beat him a bit, and then Xiongdi will boldly come out to help him, and fight with you a little bit. You deliberately yield to me several stances, then you pretend to retreat in defeat. I wonder if you’d willing to do that.”

“Xiongdi is venting our anger, why would I be unwilling?” Wu Lishen said, “It would be best since we won’t damage the relationship with Taiwan’s Zheng Family and won’t provoke any dispute.”

“He is the one with wounds on his head and face, the fellow who is with Xiongdi,” Wei Xiaobao said.

“Yes,” Wu Lishen said, “Who does he think his Zheng Family is? Although nowadays our Mu Palace has fallen into dire straits, we are not one to be bullied.”

“Isn’t that so?” Wei Xiaobao said.

Following which he asked about ‘seeing the ghost’ at the Zhuang Family’s big house. Although he had seen Xu Tianchuan during the day, at that time it was inconvenient to ask, hence his mind had been preoccupied with this matter.

Wu Lishen revealed an ashamed look on his face; continuously shaking his head, he said, “Xiongdi, today you are calling me ‘Er Ge’; honestly, your big brother is quite ashamed. That day we were subdued by those fellows who ‘dress up as god, play the devil’ using some demonic method; who would have thought that those fellows were lured out of the room and were taken captive? Several women had just come out to set us free when a bunch of crafty fellows rushed into the room and rescued Zhang Laosan and his men.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded; he said in his heart, “They must be Shen Long Jiao people, the Third Young Mistress of the Zhuang Family and the others were not able to resist them.”

Wu Lishen shook his head and said, “At that time Xu Laoye [old master] and I had just had our acupoints unsealed, our hands and feet could not move freely yet. In the darkness we fought randomly; we were separated from each other. It was not until the next morning did we finally get together, except you, Xiongdi, Xiao Junzhu and Miss Fang, three people; we could not find you no matter what. We went back to that haunted house to look for you, but there was only an old woman there. I don’t know whether she was really deaf or pretending to be deaf, after interrogating her for half a day, we could not find the least bit of useful information. Xu Laoyezi and I were unwilling to give up, we searched openly and investigated in secret, and done so for over half a month straight, ay, yet we did not find the least bit of clue. Good Xiongdi, seeing you today, I am very happy. Where did Xiao Junzhu and Miss Fang go? Do you have any news? Our Xiao Wangye is worried about his sister, he is always anxious.”

Wei Xiaobao gave him a vague answer, “I am also concerned over those two ladies. Miss Fang is smart and quick-witted, but Xiao Junzhu is a bit naïve. The sooner she can meet her brother the better.” While in his heart he mused, “Turns out you did not get captured by Shen Long Jiao, and did not get forced to take the poison and compelled to be spies; that’s very good.” He knew Wu Lishen was upright and frank, he could not lie; if this story was told by Liu Yizhou, it would not necessarily be credible.

Wu Lishen said, “Xiongdi, take a good care of yourself, your Gege is leaving.” While saying that, he stood up, seemingly very reluctant to leave. Pulling Wei Xiaobao’s hand, he said, “Xiongdi, there is no lack of good ladies in the world, if that lady of yours does not treat you well, you should not take it to heart too much.”

Wei Xiaobao heaved a deep sigh; gloomily he remained silent. This time his sigh was a genuine sigh. Wu Lishen pushed open the window and leaped out.

The next day Wei Xiaobao followed Jiu Nan and Ah Ke going out of the city gate and continued their journey north. Zheng Keshuang, accompanied by his entourage, was traveling with them. “Zheng Gongzi,” Jiu Nan asked him, “Where are you heading?”

“I want to go back to Taiwan,” Zheng Keshuang replied, “But I want to walk Shitai off for a while before taking my leave.”

After traveling for twenty some li, suddenly they heard the sound of galloping horses, a group of people were hurrying along toward them. As these people were drawing near, they could see that it was a group of peasants, with hoes, iron rakes and so on in their hands. The one in the front called out, “It’s that fellow; it’s him!” As soon as Wei Xiaobao saw the man, he recognized him as Wu Lishen.

The people surrounded the large carriage, blocking their way. Wu Lishen pointed to Zheng Keshuang and cursed, “Thief boy, what a fine thing indeed you did last night at the Zhang Family Village! The cat has stolen the food, now you want to quietly slip away?”

“What Zhang Family Village, Li Family Village?” Zheng Keshuang angrily said, “You don’t have eyes and talk rubbish.”

“Good!” Wu Lishen roared, “Turns out the Li Family girl was also deceived by you; you admit it. Damn it, thief boy! In one night you swindled two maidens; you are really brazen and shameless.”

The attendants shouted together, “This is our Gongzi Ye, you have the wrong person, such a crazy and unfounded ravings!”

Wu Lishen pulled a peasant girl out; pointing to Zheng Keshuang he asked, “Is it him? Look carefully.”

Wei Xiaobao saw the peasant girl had thick eyebrows and big eyes, high cheekbones and buckteeth, she wore green fancy-patterned clothing and had a piece of printed cloth wrapped around her head; presumably this girl was hired by Wu Lishen, he was secretly amused.

With a deep and gruff voice the peasant girl said, “It’s him, it’s him, I am a hundred percent sure. Last night he went to my room and embraced me, boo hoo … this … this dead stinky person, aiyo, boo hoo … ahh … mother …” While saying that, she was bawling.

Another peasant shouted, “You bullied my meizi [younger sister], laozi should be your brother-in-law. Damn it, laozi should fight you to the death.” He was Wu Lishen’s disciple, Ao Biao.

Wei Xiaobao examined carefully the Mu Palace people, he had seen about five or six people, but Liu Yizhou was not among them. Presumably Wu Lishen had carefully selected these people in advance to make sure that there was no one harboring any hostility with him, so that their scheme would not be exposed.

Seeing the peasant girl was so ugly, Ah Ke did not believe that Zheng Keshuang would have illicit relationship with her, it’s just that the girl had personally confirmed that it was him. These peasants had neither enmity nor hatred toward Zheng Keshuang, hence it was unlikely that they would deliberately accused him falsely. She could not help being skeptical.

Wei Xiaobao knitted his brows as he said, “Zheng Gongzi is a bit too loose; going to a brothel and playing with prostitutes is one thing, but why did he go … go … go … ay, this peasant girl is so ugly. Shijie, I think they must have the wrong person.”

“Right,” Ah Ke said, “It must be a case of mistaken identity.”

Wu Lishen told the peasant girl, “Say it quickly, say it quickly, are you afraid of being disgraced? He … what did this thief boy give you?”

The peasant girl took out a big yuanbao worth a hundred taels from her pocket; she said, “He gave me this; he told me to obey him. He said that he came from Taiwan, his father is some Wangye, he has gold mountain, silver mountain in his house, and … and …”

“Ah!” Ah Ke shrieked. She thought that this peasant girl was ignorant and unlearned, it was impossible for her to fabricate that fact, naturally it must be Zheng Keshuang himself who told her that. She could not help but feeling angry and hurt.

The Zheng Mansion’s attendants also thought that it was the truth, since they believed that a peasant girl like her would not have such a big yuanbao; they shouted, “Get out of the way, get out of the way! You already have the yuanbao, what are you fussing about? Don’t stand in your masters’ way.”

“Can’t do!” Ao Biao shouted, “You have raped my meizi, how can she marry someone else in the future? You have to take her as your wife. Quickly go back with me, bow to the Heaven and the Earth with her, and then take her back with you to Taiwan to pay her respect to your father and mother. My meizi is a good family’s daughter, not some servile s1ut; do you think she would take your money to prostitute herself to you? What did he say this hundred-tael for?” The last question was directed to the peasant girl.

The peasant girl said, “He said … he said that it is some betrothal gift, he also said that he would send a matchmaker to take me as his wife, and bring me back to his palace to be some first-rate madam.”

“That’s it,” Ao Biao said, “Meifu [younger sister’s husband], let me tell you: you won’t marry my sister but thinking you can escape by walking away? It won’t be easy. Quickly go back with your Dajiuzi [wife’s older brother].” [Translator’s note: just want to show the different words to describe ‘brother-in-law’.]

Zheng Keshuang was extremely angry; he thought that he came to the Central Plains this time he had always met with unfavorable situations, even this uncouth peasants also trying to give him trouble without any rhyme or reason. Raising his horsewhip, ‘crack!’ he lashed it down on Ao Biao’s head.

“Aiyo!” Ao Biao screamed. He raised both hands to protect his head, and then fell down his horse and curled up on the ground, twitched several times, and then lay down motionless.

“Murder, murder!” the crowd of peasants cried out.

The peasant girl jumped down from her horse to embrace Ao Biao, while screaming and wailing. Her voice was really rough and husky, she sounded like a pig being slaughtered.

Zheng Keshuang was shocked; thinking that right now they were on foreign land, plus he was someone wanted by the Qing government. If he was involved in legal case involving homicide, he would be in a very big trouble. Instantly he shouted, “Everybody, run!” Raising the horse’s reins, he was thinking of making a dash out of the encirclement.

Suddenly a peasant leaped up high to the air and pounced down on him. Zheng Keshuang sent a left backhand punch toward the man’s chest. The man caught his wrist and twisted it. ‘Crack!’ his elbow was dislocated. The man landed on the saddle behind him, his right hand reached down from his flank and up to his neck. It was precisely a move from qinna technique called the ‘slanting stage backward scale (of fish)’. The man’s movement was clean and agile; his mouth was yelling and calling loudly, “Ah San, Ah Gou, [lit. ‘the third’ and ‘the dog’] quickly come and help me, I … I … I am hurt from his strike. Aiyo hey, this fellow is killing me! He is killing me!”

Zheng Keshuang’s body was numb and aching; he was already immobilized completely. The Zheng Mansion attendants pulled out their weapons and charged forward. This time, although Mu Palace people were not too many, each one’s skill was not weak. They lifted up their hoes and iron rakes, and engaged the opponents in a tangled battle, preventing the already injured attendants from coming to Zheng Keshuang’s rescue.

The peasant grabbed Zheng Keshuang and rolled underneath the horse, while raising a clamor, “Ah Hua, quickly catch your husband, don’t let him run away.”

“He won’t run away,” the peasant girl shouted back, while leaping up and firmly holding Zheng Keshuang in her arms.

[foxs]

It was only then did Wei Xiaobao realize that this peasant girl was actually a man disguised as a woman; no wonder she was that unbearably ugly. Obviously he was a Mu Palace person. The way ‘she’ captured Zheng Keshuang was also a qinna technique.

Ah Ke anxiously called out, “Shifu, Shifu, they captured Zheng Gongzi, what should we do?”

Jiu Nan shook her head and said, “This Zheng Gongzi’s behaviors is dishonorable, receiving a bit of lesson will not be useless to him. These peasants won’t possibly harm his life.” She was reclining on the large carriage to recuperate, hence she only heard the commotion outside without actually seeing the way the Mu Palace people were making their moves; otherwise, with her keen vision, as soon as she saw these people’s agility, she would have seen through their scheme.

Ah Ke said, “These peasant seem to know martial art.”

“Martial art they don’t have,” Wei Xiaobao said, “But their brute force is definitely not small.”

Ao Biao crawled up from the ground; he called out, “Damn it, you nearly killed your laozi.” [Reminder: ‘laozi’ literally means ‘old man’, as in ‘father’; also to refer to self (arrogantly or jocularly).]

A peasant laughed and said, “You are his Dajiuzi, how could you be laozi?”

“Alright,” Ao Biao said, “Grab this fellow. Since Dajiuzi is not dead, he does not need to pay with his own life. My Ah Hua meizi will have someone to depend on all her life. Take him to bow to the Heaven and the Earth.”

The peasants cheered and yelled, “We are going to drink wine of happiness, we are going to drink wine of happiness!”

They led the attendants’ horses away, and with Zheng Keshuang in the middle, they rode back to the direction they came from. Shouting and yelling, the Zheng Mansion attendants tried to run after them, but those people disappeared behind a cloud of dust, how could they pursue on foot?

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Zheng Gongzi will live with the bride’s family in here, that’s wonderful. Turns out this place is called Gao Lao Zhuang.”

Ah Ke was shocked and angered at the same time; she was already at a loss of what to do. Hearing him saying that, she thoughtlessly asked, “This place is called Gao Lao Zhuang?”

“That’s right,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “In the Journey to the West, isn’t there a chapter called ‘Zhu Bajie [the pig] lives with the bride’s family at Gao Lao Zhuang’?”

Ah Ke angrily said, “You are the Zhu Bajie!” Leaning on a tree by the road, she cried.

“Shijie,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Zheng Gongzi is getting married, that is a happy occasion; why are you crying instead?”

Ah Ke was going to scold him, but then she changed her mind, thinking that this little demon head had an extensive remarkable ability. Only by asking for his help would she be able to rescue Zheng Gongzi back. She said with a cry, “Shidi, please think of a way to rescue him from danger.”

Wei Xiaobao opened his eyes wide; pretending to be utterly astonished, he said, “Did you say ‘rescue him from danger’? He did not commit any murder, they won’t make him pay with his own life.”

“Didn’t you hear?” Ah Ke said, “Those people are going to force him to bow to the Heaven and Earth with that peasant girl.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Bowing to the Heaven and Earth is very good.” Lowering his voice, he said quietly, “I want to bow to the Heaven and the Earth with you, it’s too bad that you are not willing.”

Ah Ke shot him a malicious look and said, “Others are dying of anxiety, you are still talking that kind of senseless talk. Just see if I am going to ignore you in the future or not?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Shifu says that Zheng Gongzi’s moral conduct is not good, let him suffer a bit of hardship, it will be greatly beneficial to him. Much less bowing to the Heaven and the Earth and get married is not a hardship at all. Most probably Zheng Gongzi is very happy. Otherwise, why would he look for that miss last night, and dilly-dally with her, and do some dubious thing?”

Ah Ke stomped her right foot and angrily said, “You are the one who dilly-dally with women and do dubious thing.”

Along the way that day Ah Ke was deliberately trying to delay their journey. When they stopped for a meal, she slashed her saber on the mule’s hind leg, thereupon the mule was limping and afterwards it walked really slow so that they only travelled for a bit more than ten li when they had to stop in a small town to lodge for the night. Wei Xiaobao knew that that night she would definitely want to rush over to save Zheng Keshuang. After dinner, and after everybody in the inn went to bed, he went to the stable and slept on the pile of straw.

Sure enough, before the first watch of the night[1] he heard intermittent footsteps, a dark shadow entered the stable and pulled a horse out. Wei Xiaobao called in a low voice, “Someone’s stealing horse!”

The shadow was precisely Ah Ke; she was startled and turned around to run, but then she recognized Wei Xiaobao’s voice. “Xiaobao,” she called, “Is that you?”

“Naturally it’s me,” Wei Xiaobao replied.

“What are you doing here?” Ah Ke asked.

Wei Xiaobao replied, “Mountain people have divine foresight and marvelous calculation; foreseeing that some people would turn into a horse thief tonight, I am guarding here to catch the thief.”

Ah Ke spat. And then with an imploring tone she said, “Xiaobao, come with me to … to save him back.”

Hearing her beseeching him with a gentle voice, Wei Xiaobao could not stop the bones in his body from turning soft. He said with a laugh, “If I can save him, what will be my reward?”

“Whatever you want …” Ah Ke was going to say ‘whatever you want, it’s up to you’, but immediately recalled, “This little demon head always wanted me to marry him, I can’t leave it up to him.” Therefore, before she finished, she changed her statement, “You … you are always thinking of a way to bully me; you have never been willing to help me sincerely.” Speaking to here, she started to sob and cry. It was not a fake cry, however, she was actually thinking about Zheng Keshuang’s frivolous character, but also the fact that he was falling into a dangerous situation; she was wondering if he had bowed to the Heaven and the Earth to get married or not.

As soon as she cried, Wei Xiaobao’s heart softened. He sighed and said, “Alright, alright! I am going to go with you.”

Ah Ke was delighted. Sobbing and sniffling, she said, “Thank … thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Wei Xiaobao said, “It’s just that we don’t know where Gao Lao Zhuang is.”

Ah Ke was startled, but then she understood that by saying ‘Gao Lao Zhuang’, he was scolding Zheng Keshuang in a roundabout way. “We will have to inquire along the way,” she said in a low voice.

The two of them opened the inn’s back door, led the horse out, and rode together along the road they travelled during the day. Wei Xiaobao asked, “Actually, what’s so good about Zheng Gongzi that you like him like this?”

“Who says I like him?” Ah Ke said, “It’s just that … it’s just that we know each other; he meets calamity, naturally I must go to rescue him.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “If some people caught me and forced me to bow to the Heaven and the Earth and get married, will you come to rescue me or not?”

“Pfft!” Ah Ke stifled her laughter and said, “Are you good looking? Who would want to catch you and force you to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “You think I am not that pleasing to the eye, but there might be a young lady out there who thinks that I am outstandingly handsome, outstandingly smart?”

Ah Ke laughed and said, “In that case, I should thank the Heaven and the Earth for sparing me from your ghost always entangling me.”

“Fine,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Since you don’t have any conscience like this, if some people caught you and force you to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married, I am not going to rescue you.”

Ah Ke was slightly startled; she thought that if she really encountered such matter, she would definitely want him to rescue her. “You will definitely come to rescue me,” she grimly said.

“Why?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

Ah Ke said, “Others bully me, you won’t watch with folded arms. Who told you to be my Shidi?” As soon as these words entered his ears, Wei Xiaobao felt sweet comfort in his heart.

While talking, they had reached the place where they met Mu Palace heroes during the day. They saw more than a dozen people were sitting on the ground by the road, with lanterns in their hands; they were none other than Zheng Mansion attendants. Ah Ke reined the horse and asked, “Where is Zheng Gongzi?”

The attendants stood up. With a sullen look on his face, someone said, “In the ancestral hall over there.” While saying that, he pointed to the northwest.

“Ancestral hall?” Ah Ke asked, “What is he doing?”

The attendant replied, “Those peasants invited Gongzi, and insisted that he bow to the Heaven and the Earth. Gongzi is unwilling, and thus they punched and kicked, very vicious!”

Ah Ke was angry. “You all are … humph … you all are martial art masters,” she said, “How come even several peasants like that you are not able to defeat?”

The attendants were very ashamed; they hung their heads low. A man said, “Those peasants know martial art.”

Ah Ke angrily said, “Other people know martial art, and you simply ignore your master? We are going to rescue him, lead us the way.”

An elderly attendant said, “Those peasants said that if we dare to raise a ruckus, they would slaughter every one of us.”

“They want to slaughter let them slaughter,” Ah Ke said, “What are you afraid of? Jun Wang ordered you to protect Gongzi, yet you are greedy for life, afraid of death like this?”

“Yes, yes,” the attendant said, “It would be best if Miss does not ride the horse, so that we won’t alert them.”

“Humph,” Ah Ke snorted. Together with Wei Xiaobao they jumped down the horse and tied the horse on a roadside tree. The attendants set down their lanterns, and led the two people toward the northwest.

They walked for about a li, passing through a wood, a stretch of graveyard, and arrived at a seven, eight-room big house. Sounds of gongs and drums can be heard inside the building. Ah Ke’s heart was anxious, “Has he really bowed to the Heaven and the Earth?” she mused.

Pulling Wei Xiaobao’s sleeve, she quickened her steps, circled around the side of the building, and saw a door half opened. Peeking inside, she saw complete darkness with nobody inside. The two of them sneaked in, following the sound of gongs and drums toward the main hall. They squatted down underneath a window and peeked inside from a crack on the window; and were able to see everything in the main hall. Ah Ke was immediately greatly worried, while Wei Xiaobao was extremely delighted.

They saw Zheng Keshuang’s head was adorned with several stems of red flower, standing opposite a woman whose head was draped in red silk. The hall was bright with a lot of candles. Several peasants were beating gongs and drums while continuously cheering and jeering.

Wu Lishen called out, “Bow again, bow again!”

“I have bowed to the Heaven and the Earth,” Zheng Keshuang said, “What else should I bow to?” Hearing this, Ah Ke was so mad that she nearly fainted.

Shaking his head, Wu Lishen said, “We have a custom here, the groom has to bow to the bride one hundred times. You have only bowed for thirty times, there are still seventy times left.”

Ao Biao raised his leg and kicked Zheng Keshuang’s buttocks. Zheng Keshuang was unable to stand, he fell kneeling down. Ao Biao pressed his head down and shouted, “You are the groom today, what’s the big deal of bowing several more times?”

Wei Xiaobao knew that they were stalling, waiting for his arrival. In all his life he could not necessarily see this kind of good and rare drama several times, thereupon he thought that there was no harm in watching it a bit longer; hence he took his time in coming out to save him. Ah Ke, on the other hand, could not bear it any longer. ‘Bang!’ she kicked the window, and leaped inside with a saber in her hand. “Release him quickly,” she shouted, “Otherwise your Miss will kill each and every one of you!”

Wu Lishen laughed and said, “Miss, are you here to drink the wine of happiness? Why are you using saber and spear?”

Ah Ke took a step forward, brandishing her saber to chop at Ao Biao. In her anxiety and anger, her saber was moving very swiftly and fiercely. Ao Biao hastily leaped away. He picked a long wooden bench behind him to block the saber. Although Ah Ke did not have internal strength, her moves were quite refined and amazing. Ao Biao’s wooden bench was an awkward weapon, unexpectedly he was forced to draw back again and again.

Wu Lishen laughed and said, “Hey, not bad at all.” And he stretched out his hand to meet the saber. His martial art skill was considerably higher than Ao Biao’s, just with two bare palms he was able to weave in and out between the saber blade.

Zheng Keshuang leaped up with the intention to help, but his back was punched twice, ‘bang, bang!’ and he fell to the ground.

Ah Ke successively launched seven, eight moved. Seeing that she could not resist the enemy, she called out, “Shidi, Shidi, come here, quick!”

But she heard Wei Xiaobao was shouting outside the window, “How fierce! Laozi will fight you to the death.” She heard the sound of punching and kicking on the window, apparently Wei Xiaobao was fighting fiercely with someone else.

Hearing Wei Xiaobao’s arrival, Wu Lishen busily signaled with his eyes, and then shouted, “Who’s there?” Two of his disciples immediately stepped forward with unsheathed weapons to meet Ah Ke’s willow-leaf saber.

Wu Lishen rushed outside the hall, but saw that Wei Xiaobao was alone, kicking the window, making a lot of noise; obviously he was not fighting with anybody else. Wu Lishen nearly burst out laughing; he called out, “Everybody stops! You, little kid, what are you doing here?”

Wei Xiaobao loudly replied, “My Shijie asked me to save people; quickly let him go! Aiyo! Not good, these peasants have superb martial art skill.” While making a big fuss, he ran outside the door. Wu Lishen laughed and ran after him.

---

[1] According to the dictionary, it is between 7 and 9 pm; however, during the Eagle Shooting Hero project, the source I used described it as between 11 pm and 1 am.

[foxs]

When they were outside, Wei Xiaobao stopped and said with a laugh, “Er Ge, thank you very much! The way you manage this matter is very interesting.”

Wu Lishen laughed and said, “Is that Miss Xiongdi’s beloved? Her martial art is really good, her appearance also … also … hey, hey, not bad.” He was straightforward and frank; Ah Ke’s physical appearance was extremely beautiful, he did not think much of it, but her moves were refined and amazing, he was quite admiring her.

Wei Xiaobao sighed and said, “It’s a pity that she wholeheartedly wanted to marry that stinky fellow, and is unwilling to marry me. You can force that stinky fellow to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to marry that peasant girl; if only you could force her to marry me …” Suddenly he had an idea. “Er Ge,” he said, “I am asking you to help me to the end. Pretend that you capture me, and seize that Miss also, and then force us to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married. What do you think?”

Wu Lishen burst out laughing; he could not help but shaking his head, and hastily said, “Very good, very good. Xiongdi, I hope you don’t mind, shaking my head has become a second nature to me; it’s just that … it’s just that …” Speaking to this point, he slightly hesitated.

“It’s just that what?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

Wu Lishen said, “We are men of chivalrous and righteous way, it is all right to play a joke, Xiongdi, please don’t be oversensitive, your Gege is speaking frankly: you should absolutely have to guard against any voracious desire to satiate lascivious heart.”

“Naturally,” Wei Xiaobao said, “She is my Shijie; after we bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married, she will be my official wife. Er Ge, you are the matchmaker; after bowing to the Heaven and the Earth, we will be officially married, won’t we? It’s not ‘picking flowers’ [i.e. enter houses at night to rape women] or visiting prostitute, so you cannot say ‘lascivious heart’, can you?”

“Yes, yes,” Wu Lishen said, “Xiongdi, please promise me, you must do not any … any bad things that are not according to chivalrous and righteous way.”

“Please set your hundred and twenty hearts at ease,” Wei Xiaobao said, “A real man make a promise, some horses cannot chase it.”

Wu Lishen was greatly delighted; he laughed and said, “I already knew that you are a well-known hero and warrior. This Miss can marry you, it is indeed her good fortune.”

Wei Xiaobao smiled and said, “You are the matchmaker, we must offer you the first cup of the wine of happiness.”

“Wonderful!” Wu Lishen said with a laugh, “Xiongdi, let’s do it.”

Wei Xiaobao put his hands behind his back and said with a laugh, “No need to be polite.”

Wu Lishen grabbed his wrists with his left hand; raising his voice, he said, “I want to see where are you going to run to?” And then he pushed Wei Xiaobao into the main hall.

They saw Ah Ke’s saber had been knocked down, while three weapons were pointing to her front and back. Although Ao Biao and the others wanted to completely subdue her, they knew that she was Wei Xiaobao’s beloved, hence they did not dare to be rude to her at all.

Wu Lishen took off his belt to tie Wei Xiaobao’s hands, and then he pushed him to sit on a chair. Next, he also bound Ah Ke’s hands. Wei Xiaobao did not stop cursing.

“Little demon,” Wu Lishen shouted, “You curse one more time, I am going to dig your eyeballs out.”

Wei Xiaobao replied, “I’ll curse whenever I want to curse, stinky thief!”

“Shidi,” Ah Ke said in a low voice, “Stop cursing so you won’t suffer the present trouble.” Only then did Wei Xiaobao hold his tongue.

Wu Lishen said, “This Miss actually has more sense, her appearance is also not bad. Very good, very good. I have another brother who is not married yet, I’d better take her as my ‘difu’ [younger brother’s wife] today.”

Ah Ke was greatly shocked. “That won’t do, that won’t do!” she hastily said.

“Why not?” Wu Lishen said, “Big Miss of a good family will always be married, my Xiongdi is a hero and a warrior, he will not bring disgrace to you, why are you unwilling? You really fail to appreciate other people’s kindness! Play the music!”

Ao Biao and and the others picked up the gongs and drums and started beating them. ‘Dong! Dong! Dang! Dang!’ It was very lively.

Of all the frightening experiences Ah Ke went through in her entire life, nothing was scarier than this. She thought that these peasants were rough, uncouth and dirty, his younger brother must be of the same quality; if she lost her chastity to this kind of coarse peasant, even if she killed herself right now, it was already too late. She clenched her jaw and bit her lips, she was so scared that she was unable to utter anything.

Wu Lishen laughed and said, “Very good, you agree.” He waved his right hand, and everybody stopped beating the gongs and the drums.

“Not yet, I haven’t agreed yet,” Ah Ke called out, “Just kill me quickly!”

“Alright,” Wu Lishen said, “I will kill you. I will kill even your Shidi.” While saying that, he took the steel saber from Ao Biao’s hand and raised it high in the air.

Ah Ke cried and said, “Quickly kill me, if you don’t, you are not a real man. You … you kill my Shidi quickly, kill … kill him first.”

Wu Lishen cast a sidelong glance toward Wei Xiaobao; he thought, “This Miss is so without feeling and without sense of justice toward you, why would you want to marry her?”

In his heart, Wei Xiaobao was also cursing, “Stinky little girl, why would you want to kill me first?”

Wu Lishen angrily said, “I simply won’t kill your Shidi. Ah Gou, take this stinky fellow and chop his head outside!” While saying that, he pointed to Zheng Keshuang.

Ao Biao replied, “Yes.” And dragged Zheng Keshuang away.

“No,” Ah Ke cried out in alarm, “Don’t harm him … he can’t be killed. His father … his father …”

“Never mind!” Wu Lishen said, “Are you going to be my Dixi [yet another word for ‘younger brother’s wife’] or not?”

Ah Ke cried and said, “No, no, you … just kill me.”

Wu Lishen tossed away his steel saber and picked up a horsewhip. “I won’t kill you,” he shouted, “I’ll lash you a hundred whip first.” In that moment the anger in his heart was unbearable. ‘Crack!’ he cracked the whip in the air, ready to lash it down onto her body.

“Hold on!” Wei Xiaobao shouted.

Wu Lishen halted the whip in the air and did not lash it down. “What?” he asked.

Wei Xiaobao said, “We are heroes and warriors; we pay particular attention to yi qi. Shijie and I are like hands and feet born on the same parents, this a hundred-lash whip, just strike it on me.”

Seeing Wu Lishen’s ferocious and tyrannical look as he raised his whip, Ah Ke was already scared and panicked. As soon as she heard Wei Xiaobao, her heart was delighted. “Shidi,” she said, “You are a really good person.”

Wei Xiaobao said to Wu Lishen, “Hey, Laoxiong, whatever it is, let me take it. This is called ‘being a real man, I am not afraid of calamity, I’ll step forward bravely’. You must not force her to marry your Xiongdi, if you have any Jiejie or Meimei [older and younger sister, respectively] who is not married yet, just let me bow to the Heaven and the Earth with her to marry her. This Zheng Gongzi has already married one, I will marry another one, successively we marry two of you; it’s not bad, is it? If you have another one, just let her marry me. Laozi is a junk copper, rusty iron; my brain is already rotten …”

He spoke to that point, Wu Lishen and the others burst out in laughter. Ah Ke also could not help feeling funny, but she only chuckled a moment, and immediately remembered the wrong she was suffering; her tears flowed down again.

Wu Lishen laughed and said, “You, this little kid, is very interesting; you are a real man. I was actually thinking of letting you go, and was saying all those things to scare you, but laozi is too worthless. This matter of bowing to the Heaven and the Earth must be done; you tell me, who is going to bow to the Heaven and the Earth? Will it be you, or she?”

Ah Ke was anxious to get away. “It’s he, it’s he!” she hastily said.

Wu Lishen fixed his gaze at her; raising his voice, he said, “You say he is to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married?”

Ah Ke felt slightly ashamed; she hung her head and said, “Yes.”

“Alright!” Wu Lishen said. Pointing to Wei Xiaobao he said in a loud voice, “Today I insist that you bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married.”

Wei Xiaobao turned his gaze toward Ah Ke and said, “I … I …”

Ah Ke said in a low voice, “Shidi, you help me out of great catastrophe today, I will never forget it. Please agree!”

Wei Xiaobao looked distressed. “You want me to bow to the Heaven and the Earth and get married? Ay, you know, this is a very difficult matter.”

“I know,” Ah Ke said in a low voice, “If you did not help me out of this great difficulty today, I would have no choice but to crash my head and die. I … I have no choice but to ask for your help. They … they are extremely vicious.”

“Shijie,” Wei Xiaobao said in a loud voice, “Today you opened your mouth to ask me for help. I, Wei Xiaobao, have no choice but to face the difficulty, to agree on your behalf. It is you who wanted me to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married; it was not me who wanted to do it, am I right?”

“Yes,” Ah Ke replied, “It was me who asked you. You are the hero, a real man who steps forward bravely, who relieve other people’s distress, also … also someone who listen to my words the most.”

Wei Xiaobao heaved a deep sigh and said, “Shijie, my feelings to you, you have always understood. No matter what it is that you want me to do, I will readily agree, I won’t frown. Since you ask me to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married, naturally I will comply.”

“I know you treat me very well,” Ah Ke said, “Later on … later on I will also treat you well.”

“So be it,” Wu Lishen said, “Xiao Xiongdi, I do not have any meizi for you to marry. My daughter is only three; she can’t marry you. Hey, if any of you have Jiejie or Meimei, quickly call her out to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married with this young hero.”

Ao Biao said with a laugh, “I don’t have any.”

Another man said, “This young hero’s righteousness reaches the clouds and the sky; if I can be his in-law, it will be my greatest good luck. Too bad I only have brothers and no sisters.”

Another man said, “My Jiejie has already married and gave birth to eight kids. Young hero, if you are willing to wait, wait for my jiefu [older sister’s husband] to die, then I will tell Jiejie to marry you.”

“He can’t wait,” Wu Lishen said, “Who has someone who is readily available?”

Everybody shook his head and said, “I don’t.” Everybody appeared to have missed a good opportunity and had deep regret.

Wei Xiaobao happily said, “Gentlemen friends, it is not me who is unwilling, but you do not have any sisters, so please let us go.”

Wu Lishen shook his head and said, “No we won’t. A real man said a word, a team of horses cannot chase it. Today you must bow to the Heaven and the Earth. Otherwise, we will offend Sha Shen [don’t know what it is, literally means demon deity] Taisui [God of the year], and then everybody here will die a violent death; won’t this joke be started again? Alright, you bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married with her.” While saying that, he pointed to Ah Ke.

Ah Ke and Wei Xiaobao shouted together, “No, not good!”

Wu Lishen angrily said, “What do you mean not good? Little Miss, do you want to bow to the Heaven and the Earth with my Xiongdi, or do you want to bow to the Heaven and the Earth with this young hero? You decide.”

Ah Ke’s entire pretty face bloated with deep red; she shook her head and said, “I don’t want both!”

Wu Lishen angrily said, “Until now you still use all sorts of excuses. The time has arrived, if we miss this good hour, the demons will descend, no one here will stay alive. Hey, Ah San, Ah Gou, these two little fellows are not willing to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married, cut their noses!”

Ao Biao and one of his younger martial brothers complied together; with raised steel saber, they rubbed the flat of the blade on Ah Ke’s nose several times. Ah Ke was not afraid of death, but thinking that if her nose was cut, she would be extremely ugly; she was scared to death that her face turned completely without any color.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Don’t cut my Shijie’s nose, cut mine instead.”

Wu Lishen said, “We need to cut two noses as a sacrifice to the Sha Shen, you only have one. Hey, the one surnamed Zheng, how about we cut your nose as a substitute for this Miss’ nose?”

Ah Ke looked at Zheng Keshuang with begging-for-pity look. Zheng Keshuang looked the other way, he did not dare to meet her eyes, yet he shook his head.

Wu Lishen said, “This fellow is unwilling, yet your Shidi is. Hey, your Shidi treats you a lot better than he does. If you don’t marry this kind of person, whom are you going to marry? Bow to the Heaven and the Earth, play music!”

Amidst the sound of gongs and drums, Ao Biao took the head covering from the fake bride and put it on Ah Ke’s head; he also untied her. As soon as she was free, Ah Ke sent out a punch. ‘Wham!’ it hit the pit of Ao Biao’s stomach. Luckily she did not have any internal energy, so that although he was hit, it was not too painful. Ao Biao raised his steel saber and put it across the back of her neck.

Wu Lishen started the ritual, “The bride and groom bow to the Heaven!”

Ah Ke felt the coldness of the blade on the skin of her neck, as well as a slight pain; she had no choice but to stand alongside Wei Xiaobao and kowtow toward the outside.

Wu Lishen continued, “The bride and groom bow to the Earth.” Ao Biao pushed her body around to kowtow toward the inside.

At the ‘bride and groom bow to each other’, the two of them kneeled toward each other and kowtowed several times.

[foxs]

Wu Lishen laughed aloud and said, “The new husband and wife thank the matchmaker.”

Ah Ke was extremely angry; suddenly her leg flew up and kicked Wu Lishen’s lower abdomen. This kick was indeed not light. ‘Ah!’ Wu Lishen cried out and retreated several steps back, while repeatedly coughing. He then laughed and said, “The bride is so vicious, even the matchmaker is being kicked!”

Right this moment, there were repeated whistles outside the ancestral hall, followed by sounds of footsteps from east, south, west and north; at least there were forty, fifty people. Wu Lishen’s smiling expression immediately vanished. “Blow out the candles,” he hissed. Immediately the ancestral hall was pitch-black.

Wei Xiaobao rushed toward Ah Ke and pulled her hand, “There are enemies outside,” he said in a low voice.

Ah Ke was really angry and upset; she sobbed and said, “I … I have bowed to the Heaven and the Earth with you.”

“To me, it was something that I always seek but fail to get,” Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice, “It’s just that the bowing to the Heaven and the Earth was rather too sloppy.”

Ah Ke angrily said, “It does not count. You think it was for real?”

“Why would it be a fake?” Wei Xiaobao said, “This is called ‘the (grain of) rice has become (steamed) rice’, ‘the wood has become a dog’ [mu yi cheng gou].”

With a whimper Ah Ke said, “What ‘the wood has become a dog’? It’s ‘the wood has become a boat’ [mu yi cheng zhou].”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Niangzi [wife] is well-educated, later on you need to teach me a lot to be a Xianggong [lord/master/young gentleman, but can also mean ‘husband’ (wife’s term of address)].”

Hearing him unexpectedly thickening his face by using the term ‘niangzi’ and ‘xianggong’ to call each other, Ah Ke was growing more anxious and broke into crying.

They heard the shout outside was deafening, dozens of people were shouting together. It sounded like the roar of a beast, or the bellow of an ox; it was so jumbled and indistinct that they did not know what they were shouting. Ah Ke was terrified, against her will she leaned close to Wei Xiaobao. Wei Xiaobao reached out and wrapped his arm around her; he said in a low voice, “Don’t be afraid, looks like a bunch of lamas are attacking.”

“What should we do?” Ah Ke asked.

Wei Xiaobao pulled her arm, he took her quietly sitting behind the image of the deity. Suddenly there was a flash of light, several dozen people rushed into the ancestral hall, each one of them had a torch and a weapon in his hands. As soon as Wei Xiaobao and Ah Ke saw these people, they were shocked. These people’s faces were painted with green fancy patterns, they wore bird’s feather on their heads, and their upper bodies were naked. Their waists were wrapped in a piece of animal skin, their torso and their arms were also painted in elaborate patterns. Turned out these people were of ethnic groups from outside China.

Ah Ke thought that these barbarians did not look like human, but they did not look like ghosts either; each one of them had a sinister expression on his face. She was even more terrified, and shrank herself inside Wei Xiaobao’s embrace while trembling incessantly.

The barbarians uttered wild ‘wah, wah!’ noise; one of them, who was among the first to enter, shouted, “Han people, no good, kill them all! Barbarians, good, must kill people! Guhuatulu, ahbasili!” The barbarians shouted loudly, they were talking in barbarian language.

Wu Lishen was a Yunnan native, he understood barbarian language, but he did not understand even half a word of these barbarians’ talk. He said in barbarian language, “We are good Han people, we must not kill.”

The barbarian leader still said, “Han people, no good, must kill all. Guhuatulu, ahbasili!”

All the barbarians shouted together, “Guhuatulu, ahbasili!” They raised their big sabers and steel forks, and charged forward. Wu Lishen and his company did not have any choice but to raise their weapons and meet the enemy.

As soon as these people met, Wu Lishen and the others were greatly amazed. Turned out these barbarians’ martial art skill was quite refined and established; their weapon technique was conforming to the martial art study, their attack and defense was carefully measured, they did not randomly chop or wildly attack at all.

Several moves later, even Wei Xiaobao and Ah Ke were able to see this fact. While engaging in a fierce fight, Wu Lishen shouted, “Everybody, be careful, these barbarians have learned our Han people’s martial art, we must not consider them lightly.”

The barbarian leader called out, “Han people’s killing technique, barbarians know them all, not afraid of Han people. Guhuatulu, ahbasili!”

The barbarians were many, their martial art skill was also very good. Each one of Mu Palace people had to face three, sometimes four, enemies. In a very short period of time they were already in a very dangerous position. Wu Lishen brandished his saber in a fierce combat against the leader, yet unexpectedly it did not look like he was having the slightest bit of advantage. The longer they fought, the more he was alarmed. Suddenly he heard ‘Ah, Ah’, twice; two of disciples were injured and fell down. Shortly afterwards, Ao Biao’s leg was stabbed by a hunting fork and he also fell down. Three barbarians pounced on him and captured him.

A moment later, about a dozen or so Mu Palace people had been knocked down. Zheng Keshuang’s had already been injured early on; he only offered a little bit of resistance and was quickly subdued. All the barbarians carried ox tendon, with which they bound their captives.

The barbarian leader hopped up and down while loudly blabbering in barbarian tongue. Wu Lishen groaned inwardly; he was thinking of escaping, but was concerned about Wei Xiaobao and his disciples’ safety. Thereupon he did everything he could to fight fiercely, hoping to subdue the leader and thus forcing them to let his people go. Suddenly the leader hacked his saber directly toward Wu Lishen’s head, Wu Lishen raised his saber to block. ‘Dang!’ his arm went slightly numb. Suddenly he felt a stick sweeping toward his back, hastily he leaped up to evade. The leader’s saber flipped over, and then landed on his neck. The leader shouted, “Han people, lose. Barbarian, not lose.”

Wei Xiaobao mused, “This barbarian is so stupid, he does not know the word ‘win’, only knew the word ‘not lose’.”

Wu Lishen shook his head and heaved a deep sigh; he tossed his saber and immediately had his hands bound.

With torches raised high, the barbarians looked everywhere. Wei Xiaobao knew that they could not hide anymore. Pulling Ah Ke’s hand, he rushed outside while calling out, “Barbarians, good people. The two of us are barbarians. Guhuatulu, ahbasili!”

The leader reached out to grab Ah Ke’s neck. Three barbarians pounced forward and grabbed Wei Xiaobao. Wei Xiaobao only shouted half of “Guhua …” before his mouth was covered.

When the leader saw him, his expression changed. Stretching out his arm, he grabbed Wei Xiaobao in his arms while shouting, “Xihuahbu, qiliwendeng.” And then he carried Wei Xiaobao out of the ancestral hall.

Wei Xiaobao was greatly shocked; turning his head toward Ah Ke, he called out, “Niangzi, this barbarian is going to kill me. You must live as a widow for me, you can’t remarry that …” Before he finished, they were already outside the main gate.

The barbarian leader ran more than ten zhang, before he released Wei Xiaobao and set him on the ground. He said, “Gui Gonggong, how come you are here?” He sounded genuinely surprised, but was also delighted.

Wei Xiaobao was startled and happy at the same time. “You … you are a barbarian, and you knew me?”

The man laughed and said, “Xiaoren is Yang Yizhi, the Yang Yizhi from Ping Xi Wang Mansion. Gui Gonggong did not recognize me. Ha ha …”

Wei Xiaobao laughed aloud. He was about to speak, Yang Yizhi pulled his hand and said, “Let’s go farther away to talk, don’t let the others hear us.”

The two of them went more than twenty zhang away before stopping. Yang Yizhi said, “Unexpectedly I can see Gui Gonggong in here, truly I am delighted.”

“How did Yang Dage come here?” Wei Xiaobao asked, “And you dress up as Guhuatulu, ahbasili?”

Yang Yizhi laughed and said, “There were a bunch of people having an assembly at Hejian Prefecture, planning to bring harm to our Wangye; Wangye obtained some information about it and sent Xiaoren here to investigate.”

Wei Xiaobao was secretly alarmed; his brain turning very fast, trying to find an idea. He said, “Last time those Mu Palace fellows entered the Palace to assassinate the Emperor, framing Ping Xi Wang …”

Yang Yizhi hastily said, “And we owe it to Gonggong’s esteemed, as high as the cloud and the sky’s friendship, by presenting a memorial to the Emperor and clear this matter up, washing away the injustice our Ping Xi Wang received. Our Wangye is endlessly grateful, he often mentioned that he wanted to personally express his gratitude to Gonggong.”

“I do not dare to accept the gratitude,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Wangye regards me highly like this, while I am by the Emperor’s side, if I can do such a trivial matter for Wangye, naturally I will. This time His Majesty knew that there are some rebellious thieves who were having an assembly at the Hejian Prefecture, with the intention of bringing harm to Ping Xi Wang. I volunteered to come over here to investigate.”

Yang Yizhi was greatly delighted. “Turns out His Majesty already knew about it,” he said, “There is no way the rebellious thieves’ evil schemes will succeed. That’s wonderful. Xiaoren received Wangye’s order to infiltrate those damn dog-heads’ congress. I heard them electing various provinces’ meng zhu, intending to harm our Wangye. I won’t conceal it from Gui Gonggong: in our hearts we are deeply concerned. It is easy to dodge the spear in the open, it is hard to avoid a stab in the dark. If the rebellious thieves dare to come to Yunnan to fight, it’s not that Xiaoren is boasting, but if a thousand of them came, we’ll capture a thousand, if ten thousand of them came, we’ll kill all ten thousand. What we are afraid of is that like last time the Mu Palace’s dog thieves committing outrages, yet they shifted the blame to our Wangye, and thus later on have brought us infinite trouble.”

Striking his own chest, Wei Xiaobao boldly said, “Yang Dage, please report to Wangye, there is nothing to be worried about. When I return to the Capital, about that dog-heads’ congress, I will report everything by fives and tens, by fifteens and twenties [i.e. systematically and in full detail], nothing will be left out in my memorial to the Emperor. Opposing Ping Xi Wang is the same as opposing His Majesty. The more they hate Ping Xi Wang, the more it shows that Wangye is loyal and devoted to His Majesty. If His Majesty is happy, not only Ping Xi Wangye, even Yang Dage will be heavily rewarded, you will be promoted and gain wealth; it’s a cinch.”

Yang Yizhi happily said, “We are heavily reliant of Gui Gonggong’s vigorous intercession. Xiaoren does not expect promotion and wealth. Wangye has shown great kindness to my late father, he has saved Xiaoren’s entire family’s lives. Just before his death, my late father left me his last words, instructing Xiaoren to pledge my life to protect Wangye completely. Gonggong, you came here, are you investigating Mu Family dog thieves’ plot?”

Wei Xiaobao slapped his thigh. “Yang Dage,” he said, “Not only your martial art skill is superb, your foresight is also divine. My admiration, my admiration. My Shijie and I are in disguise, we want to find out what trick they are playing, but we were discovered. I talked some nonsense, surprisingly they believe it, and forced my Shijie and I to bow to the Heaven and the Earth to get married. Ha ha … this is called ‘profiting from a disaster’.”

Yang Yizhi thought, “You are a eunuch, how can you marry? Ah right, you and that young Miss pretended to be a pair of lovers and they believed it.” He said, “That Shaking-Head Lion’s martial art is not bad, nevertheless, he is bold but not very astute.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “You dress as barbarians, is it for the purpose of capturing them?”

Yang Yizhi said, “Mu Family and our Prince’s Mansion have enmity as deep as the sea. Last time we suffered heavy damage from them, all along we have not been able to collect our capital back. This time at the dog-heads’ congress we saw them, Xiaoren then made a plan. If we made disturbance in Zhili [see Note 3 Chapter 9] and His Majesty finds out, I am afraid he will blame our Wangye, saying that Ping Xi Wang’s Mansion people are breaking the law in the vicinity of the Capital, committing murder and creating trouble.”

Wei Xiaobao gave him a thumb up; he praised, “Yang Dage’s stratagem is indeed very brilliant. You are dressing up as barbarians, guhuatulu, ahbasili; even if you massacre the whole lot of Mu Palace people, other people only know that it was the barbarian revolting, nobody would suspect Ping Xi Wang at all.”

Yang Yizhi laughed. “Exactly,” he said, “It’s just that by dressing like this, crazy and bizarre, we only make Gonggong laugh.”

“What do you mean ‘laugh’?” Wei Xiaobao said, “In my heart I envy you very much. I really want to shed these clothes, paint my face with green fancy patterns, and shouting and jumping around with you.”

Yang Yizhi laughed and said, “If Gonggong wishes, we can dress up together.”

Wei Xiaobao sighed and said, “This time I can’t; if my wife saw me dressing outlandishly like that, she will throw a fit.”

“Gonggong really getting married and have a wife now?” Yang Yizhi asked, “I thought you were forced by those dog thieves to pretend?”

This matter was not easy to explain clearly in just a few words, thereupon Wei Xiaobao changed the subject by saying, “Yang Dage, you and I hit it off very well with one another. If you consider me worthy, let the two of us tie the knot to become sworn brothers. There’s no need to use ‘Gonggong’ or ‘Xiaoren’ anymore, it sounds so awkward.”

Yang Yizhi was greatly delighted. First, Ping Xi Wang was in need of his help; hereafter, there would be many important matters in need of his aid in front of the Emperor. Second, this little Gonggong was generous, outspoken and straightforward, a really good friend. That day at the Prince Kang’s mansion, he was very polite to him. Thereupon he said, “That is exactly what I have been wishing for; but I am afraid I am not able to climb that high.”

“What do you mean climbing high or climbing low?” Wei Xiaobao said, “Speaking of high and low, are you the taller one, or I am the taller one?”

[foxs]

Yang Yizhi burst out laughing. Thereupon the two of them kneeled down on the spot, using dirt as the incense, they kowtowed eight times and made a statement to be brothers.

“Xiongdi,” Yang Yizhi said, “From now on the two of us are as close as flesh and bones, a lot more than ordinary brothers. However, in front of other people, your Gege will still call you ‘Gonggong’, to avoid raising other people’s suspicion.”

“Naturally,” Wei Xiaobao replied. “Dage, what are you going to do with those Mu Family people?”

Yang Yizhi said, “I am going to take them to Yunnan and slowly torture them. After obtaining their confession that they framed our Wangye, we are going to take them to the Capital to let the Emperor know that Ping Xi Wang has whole-hearted loyalty, and make it clear that by protecting Ping Xi Wang, Xiongdi did not make the slightest mistake.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded. “Very good, very good!” he said. “Dage, do you think that Shaking-head Tiger would confess?”

“It’s Shaking-head Lion Wu Lishen,” Yang Yizhi corrected, “This man has quite a reputation in Jianghu; I heard his manner is very unyielding, he won’t confess. I respect him as a real man, I won’t make things too difficult for him. But the rest of those people, inevitably there will be some who can’t endure the torture; they might confess.”

“Not bad,” Wei Xiaobao said, “This plan is not bad.”

Yang Yizhi could detect from his tone that he was speaking thoughtlessly and did not really mean it; thereupon he said, “Xiongdi, you and I are not outsiders. If you think something is inappropriate, please speak bluntly.”

“There is nothing inappropriate about it,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I heard there is another rebellious thief within the Mu Family called Mu Jiansheng, there is also a certain Stiff-backed Black Dragon called Liu somebody.”

“Iron Back Blue Dragon Liu Dahong,” Yang Yizhi said, “He is Mu Jiansheng’s Shifu.”

“Right,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Dage, your memory is very good. His Majesty instructed me to find these two people’s trail. Have you caught them?”

Yang Yizhi said, “Mu Jiansheng also went to Hejian Prefecture. Along the way we scooped up information about him, but as soon as we entered Xian County, he slipped away, we do not know where he hides.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “It is somewhat embarrassing; just now I talked nonsense, and was able to deceive that Shaking-head Lion and turned him into Nodding-Head Lion, who agreed to take me to see their Xiao Gongye. I actually wanted to verify their plot in framing Ping Xi Wang, and then return to the Capital and present a report to the Emperor. Since Dage has already had assurance, you might be able to torture their conspiracy out. In the end it’s the same thing, Xiongdi actually does not need to take a risk.”

Yang Yizhi deliberately considered, “I torture several insignificant people, they may not necessarily know the real inside information. Even if they did, Mu Family dog thieves’ bones are very hard, they may not necessarily be willing to speak. Besides, Wangye personally offers an explanation is absolutely inferior to the report from someone whom the Emperor personally sent to investigate, which will emerge powerful. If we simply pretend we did not know anything and let Gui Xiongdi go submit the report to the Emperor, it will be much better.” Thereupon he pulled Wei Xiaobao’s hand and said, “Xiongdi, your plan is a lot more brilliant, I’ll listen to you in everything. But how are we going to release those Mu Family dog thieves without raising their suspicions?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “For that, I will need you to think of something.”

Yang Yizhi thought for a moment, and then said, “Let’s do it this way: You run away back to the ancestral hall, pretending that you are summoning up courage and determination to save your Shijie, I will pursue you, and then the two of us will speak gibberish, pretending to speak in the barbarian tongue. After talking for a while, you convince me, and I will respectfully leave. This way we won’t reveal the least bit of trace.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed, “Wonderful!” he said, “I, Gui Gonggong is fluent in barbarian tongue. There is an opera about that, Emperor Ming of Tang[1] had a subordinate scholar named Li somebody, when he was drunk, he produced an essay, scaring a bunch of barbarians that they pissed in their pants in terror.”

Yang Yizhi laughed and said, “That was Li Taibai’s drunken manuscript scared barbarian book.”

Wei Xiaobao clapped his hands and said, “Right, right! Gui Gonggong awakes and speaks scary barbarian language is just as amazing as that. Dage, we must play a convincing act; you may punch and kick me, and I won’t be injured. Ah, right, I am wearing a treasured vest that saber and spear won’t penetrate. There is no harm in you chopping me several times; as long as you don’t use any internal energy, so you won’t shake and injure my five viscera and six bowels, I will be perfectly all right.”

Yang Yizhi said, “Xiongdi has that kind of treasured clothes, that’s very good.”

Wei Xiaobao bragged, “His Majesty sent me on a mission to investigate the rebellious thieves’ treacherous plan, he was afraid they might find out and have me killed; thereupon he took off from his own body this treasured vest, which was a tribute from the western red-haired country, and bestowed it to me. Dage, you do not need to worry that you might injure me, why don’t you chop me several times to test it?”

Yang Yizhi pulled his saber out and lightly slashed Wei Xiaobao’s left shoulder. Sure enough, the saber cut open the outer garment, but as the blade came in contact with the inner garment, it could not go deeper. He increased the strength of his hand slightly, lightly chopping Wei Xiaobao’s left shoulder again, still he was not able to create any damage. “Good treasured clothes, good treasured clothes!” he praised.

“Dage,” Wei Xiaobao said, “There is a fellow surnamed Zheng inside; he is that young gentleman who wears gorgeous embroidered pillowcase. This fellow is always messing around my Shijie. Looking at him, Xiongdi is very angry. It would be best if you could take him away.”

“I’ll just send a palm strike and kill him then,” Yang Yizhi said.

“You must not kill him, you must not kill him,” Wei Xiaobao said, “This man is wanted by the Emperor, in the future a very important matter will rest on his shoulder. Please just capture him and take him away. Guard him well, don’t make things difficult for him, but don’t interrogate him about anything either. After twenty, thirty years, I will let you know when I want him, then you send people to take him to Beijing.”

“Yes,” Yang Yizhi said, “I will take care of this thing for you properly.” Suddenly he raised his voice to shout, “Huluxidu, ailibala! Xulaoxulao!” Lowering his voice, he laughed and said, “The two of us have been talking for a while, I am afraid they will get suspicious.”

With a sharp voice Wei Xiaobao shouted several words of ‘barbarian tongue’. Yang Yizhi laughed and said, “Xiongdi’s ‘barbarian tongue’ is a lot more fluent than your Gege.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Naturally; in the past Xiongdi wandered destitute in a foreign land, the lord of the foreign land wanted to take me as fuma [emperor’s son-in-law, consort], hence I am accustomed to speak the ‘barbarian tongue’.” Yang Yizhi burst out in laughter.

“Dage,” Wei Xiaobao continued, “I have a difficulty, I want you to help me finding a way out.”

Yang Yizhi struck his chest and generously offered, “Whatever trouble Xiongdi has, your Gege will give my life if you want me to. As long as you tell me, there is nothing that I won’t obey.”

Wei Xiaobao sighed and said, “Thank you very much. To say that this matter is difficult, it is actually not difficult; but to say that it is easy, it is definitely not easy.”

Yang Yizhi said, “Xiongdi may just tell me, I will help you ponder over it. Supposing your Gege cannot do it, I am going to ask our Wangye. Several tens of thousands troops and horses, several million taels, can be easily mobilized.”

Wei Xiaobao smiled; he said, “Thousand armies ten thousand horses, mountain of gold and silver, I am afraid will be quite useless. It’s about my Shijie, she was forced to bow to the Heaven and the Earth and marry me, but in her heart she is very unwilling. It would be best if you have a marvelous idea, help me to change rice (grain) into (cooked) rice, tricking her to decide that the timber has been turned into a boat.”

Yang Yizhi could not help but feeling amused; he thought, “Turns out it is for that matter, I thought it was for some important matter, instead, it has something to do with dealing with that young girl. But you are a eunuch, how can you take a wife? Right, I heard during the Ming Dynasty it was common for some court eunuchs to take several wives. Xiongdi must be thinking of having some toys to satisfy his ‘dry craving’.”

Thinking that since his childhood Wei Xiaobao had had his body purified, Yang Yizhi could not help but feeling sad. Taking Wei Xiaobao’s hand in his, he said, “Xiongdi, in this life, we cannot always hope that everything is going as we wish. Since the ancient times, there are extremely numerous great heroes, great warriors who have physical defect; you don’t have to care about it. Let’s go in.”

“Alright!” Wei Xiaobao said. He shouted some words in ‘barbarian tongue’ and rushed into the ancestral hall.

Brandishing his saber, Yang Yizhi ran after him, also shouting some ‘barbarian’ words, and rushed into the main hall to grab Wei Xiaobao. The two of them exchanged some words. You said some ‘xilihulu’, I replied with ‘ahyibala’, they were prattling incessantly, while sometimes pointed to Wu Lishen, sometimes pointed to Ah Ke.

Wu Lishen, Ah Ke and the others were pleasantly surprised, they thought that there was hope. “Luckily he understands barbarian language,” they mused, “It would be best if he could make these barbarians retreat.”

Yang Yizhi raised his saber high, aiming it at the crown of Ah Ke’s head. “Woman, not good,” he said, “Kill her.”

Wei Xiaobao busily said, “Wife, mine, no kill!”

“Wife, yours, no kill?” Yang Yizhi asked.

Wei Xiaobao repeatedly nodded his head; he said, “Wife, mine, no kill!”

Yang Yizhi was angry; he shouted, “Wife, yours, no kill. Kill you!”

“Very good,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “Wife, mine, no kill. Kill me!”

‘Whoosh!’ Yang Yizhi swung his saber toward Wei Xiaobao’s chest. When the saber went down, the blade created a loud whooshing noise, obviously it carried a tremendous strength, yet as soon as the blade came into contact with Wei Xiaobao’s body, immediately he pulled his strength back; his wrist trembled, the blade of the saber bounced back. He feigned a shock and jumped backward. He then chopped three times in succession and made three long cuts on Wei Xiaobao’s outer garment.

“You, Bodhisattva, cannot be killed?” he shouted.

Wei Xiaobao nodded. “I, Bodhisattva, cannot be killed,” he said.

Yang Yizhi raised his thumb and said, “You, Bodhisattva, not. Big hero, yes.” Pointing to Wu Lishen and the others, he asked, “Han people, kill?”

Wei Xiaobao shook his hand and said, “Friends, mine, no kill!”

Yang Yizhi nodded; he asked Ah Ke, “You, wife, Big Hero’s?”

Ah Ke wanted to deny, but looking at the flickering saber in his hand, she did not dare to say anything. Yang Yizhi’s saber chopped down on the sacrificial table, breaking it into two pieces; he shouted, “Husband, yours?” while pointing at Wei Xiaobao.

Ah Ke had no choice, with a low voice she said, “Husband, mine.”

Yang Yizhi laughed aloud. He lifted Ah Ke up and dropped her in front of Wei Xiaobao, saying, “Wife, yours, embrace.”

Wei Xiaobao spread his arms and embraced Ah Ke tightly. “Wife, mine, embrace,” he said.

Yang Yizhi pointed to Zheng Keshuang and asked, “Son, yours?”

Wei Xiaobao shook his head and said, “Son, mine? No!”

Yang Yizhi shouted several ‘barbarian’ words; he grabbed Zheng Keshuang and rushed outside, while his mouth repeatedly whistled. His men abandoned their captives and ran outside. And then the sound of hoof beats was heard; unexpectedly they left just like that.

Ah Ke’s fear and panic was somewhat subsided; she felt Wei Xiaobao still had his arms around her waist and did not let go. “Take off your hand,” she said.

“Wife, mine, embrace,” Wei Xiaobao said.

Ah Ke was ashamed and angry at the same time; using her hands she pried open Wei Xiaobao’s arms and struggled to free herself. Wei Xiaobao picked up a steel saber from the floor and cut off the ropes binding Wu Lishen and the others.

“Those barbarians’ martial art is superb,” Wu Lishen said, “Fortunately the groom knows how to speak barbarian tongue, plus you have trained the ‘golden bell shield iron cloth garment’ martial art, sabers and spears cannot penetrate, hence we were all saved by you.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Although those barbarians’ martial art is quite high, they are very stupid. I talked nonsense a little bit, and they believed me.”

Ah Ke said, “Zheng Gongzi is captured by them, how can we save him?”

The fake bride suddenly yelled, “My husband is caught by the barbarians, they are going to boil and eat him.” And then she cried loudly.

Wu Lishen cupped his fist and said, “May I ask hero’s respected surname and great name?”

“I do not dare,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “Zaixia surnamed Wei.”

Wu Lishen said, “Wei Xianggong and Wei Family Niangzi got married today, won’t a tiny bit of congratulatory present be considered as showing respect?” While saying that, he put his hand inside his pocket and fished out two tiny golden yuanbao.

“Thank you very much,” Wei Xiaobao said, while reaching out to accept it.

Ah Ke’s entire face turned red; stomping her feet, she said, “It was not real, it did not count.”

Wu Lishen laughed and said, “The two of you have bowed to the Heaven and the Earth, and just now you said to that barbarian, ‘Husband, mine’. How can you deny? The bride and groom should enjoy the bridal room and ornamented candle, we are not going to disturb.” Waving his hand, together with Ao Biao and the others he strode out of the ancestral hall.

Instantly such a big ancestral hall became extremely quiet, nobody made any noise. Ah Ke was scared, but also ashamed and resentful. She stole a glance toward Wei Xiaobao, thinking about how she herself had said, ‘Husband, mine’. Suddenly she threw herself on the table and cried. Stomping her feet she said, “It’s all because you are not good, it’s all because you are not good!”

---

[1] Also known as Emperor Xuanzong of Tang, (685-762, reigned 712-756).

[foxs]

In a gentle voice Wei Xiaobao said, “Yes, yes, it’s all because I am not good. Wait till I think of something to save Zheng Gongzi, and then you will say that I am good.”

Ah Ke raised her head and said, “You … you can save him?” Under the red flickering candle light, her incomparably tender and beautiful face made the several beads of teardrops looked like bright full moon, so that even pearls inlaid with white jade seemed inadequate by comparison, so that the first budding rose could not surpass her luminescence and elegance. Wei Xiaobao could not help but staring at her with blank expression, and forgot to answer.

Ah Ke tugged his clothes and said, “I am asking you, how are we going to save Zheng Gongzi?”

Wei Xiaobao woke up from his dream; he sighed and said, “That barbarian leader said that since they have come out, they cannot go back empty-handed, they must catch someone back to their cave, to be cooked so that everybody can eat …”

Ah Ke cried out in fear. “They want to cook him so that everybody can eat?” she asked. Thinking that the ‘bride’ had also cried out in fear, she was even more terrified.

“That’s right,” Wei Xiaobao said, “They originally said that you have a soft skin and white flesh; you must have the best taste, so they wanted to catch you and eat …” Ah Ke could not endure it; her body shivered all over as she looked outside the door, afraid that those barbarians would come back.

Wei Xiaobao continued, “… I told them that you are my wife, only then did they let you off.”

Ah Ke anxiously said, “They caught Zheng Gongzi, are they going to cook … cook …”

“That’s right,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Unless I volunteer myself to be eaten, in exchange for Zheng Gongzi.”

“Then you should go in exchange for him!” Ah Ke said. But as soon as she blurted it out, she realized that she had misspoken; her pretty face blushed and she lowered her head.

Wei Xiaobao was furious; he mused, “Stinky little mother, in your eyes your husband is not worth half a wen; you’d rather have the barbarians cook me and eat me to have your lover [orig. male adulterer] rescued.” With a cold voice he said, “Even if I go in exchange for him, it would be useless.”

Ah Ke anxiously asked, “Why … why useless?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Zheng Gongzi has bowed to the Heaven and the Earth with that peasant girl to get married; you have seen it with your own eyes. Since he already has a wife he officially married, the wood has been turned into a boat, you can’t marry him anymore.”

Ah Ke stomped her feet, “That was a fake.”

Seething with rage, Wei Xiaobao said, “Alright, you want me to go in exchange for him, I will go. I just don’t know where the barbarian cave is. Humph, let’s go.”

Ah Ke silently followed him out of the ancestral hall, she was afraid she might say anything wrong, and then he would not be willing to trade his life for Zheng Gongzi’s.

When they reached the main road, they saw the Zheng Mansion’s attendants standing in a circle with their raised lanterns, speaking loudly among themselves. When the two of them came near, a Zheng Mansion attendant said, “Miss Chen is here. Where is our Gongzi? Where is our Gongzi?” while rushing over to meet them.

From among the crowd suddenly a slim figure flashed by, his movement was fast, Wei Xiaobao only saw a blurred shadow and suddenly the man was already standing in front of him, and then he heard a sharp voice asking, “Where is our Gongzi?”

The man was standing with his back against the lantern, hence Wei Xiaobao was not able to see his face. His heart was frightened, he took two steps back. Who would have thought that as he withdrew two steps, the man also went forward two steps, so that they were still standing face-to-face, less than a chi apart. He asked again, “Where is our Gongzi?”

Ah Ke replied, “He … he was captured by the barbarians, they … they are going to cook and eat him.”

The man said, “How can there be any barbarians in the Central Plains?”

“They are really barbarians,” Ah Ke said, “Quick … quickly think of a way to save him.”

“How long have they been gone?” the man asked.

“Not too long,” Ah Ke replied.

The man’s body suddenly stiffened up, he leaped backward and landed on a horse’s back. His legs squeezed, the horse immediately galloped away, and in an instant disappeared in the darkness. Wei Xiaobao and Ah Ke looked at each other in shock; one was dismayed, the other was delighted. They saw this person’s martial art skill was high, his movement was fast; they had rarely seen this kind of man in their lives, in their hearts they were full of admiration.

“I wonder who that martial art master is.” Ah Ke said.

The elderly attendant replied, “He is Gongzi’s Shifu, Feng Xifan; his title is ‘One Sword without Blood’. Feng Shifu is unmatched in the world, if he is going to rescue Gongzi, it is guaranteed that he will achieve success.”

“Turns out it is he,” Wei Xiaobao and Ah Ke said together. Ah Ke added, “Since Feng Shifu has arrived, why didn’t you ask him to immediately go to that ancestral hall over there to save Gongzi?”

An attendant said, “Feng Shifu has just arrived. He received our letter, sent by flying pigeon. From Hejian Prefecture he rushed over in the same night.”

“Feng Shifu was at Hejian Prefecture?” Wei Xiaobao asked, “Why we did not see him?”

The attendants looked at each other, nobody answered. Knowing that he had blurted out a secret, the attendant who spoke earlier lowered his head.

Wei Xiaobao thought, “Turns out there was a martial art master hidden among the Zheng Family people who attended the ‘turtle-slaying assembly’, all along he did not show himself. Only after this stinky fellow was captured did he finally rush over for the rescue.” Pinching his own cheek, he said, “Flesh, oh flesh, someone else is going to save Zheng Gongzi, you don’t need to be exchanged with some darling treasure and be eaten by those barbarians.”

Ah Ke blushed; she wanted to explain, but had a second thought, “I don’t know whether Feng Shifu singlehandedly [orig. single spear one horse] will be able to defeat that many barbarians.”

Wei Xiaobao saw she was going to speak but refrained herself, he could guess what was in her mind; he said, “Don’t worry, if Feng Shifu is not able to rescue him, there is still this rotten flesh of mine to be exchanged with your darling. A real man gave his words, some horses cannot pursue.”

“It’s good if Feng Shifu is able to save him,” Ah Ke said.

Wei Xiaobao was angry, he started to walk away, but with the corner of his eyes he saw her pretty face, his heart turned soft; he turned around and sat by the roadside.

Seeing he was about to leave, Ah Ke could not help but was worried, thinking that if Feng Shifu was not able to save Zheng Gongzi, and Wei Xiaobao left, who would get Zheng Gongzi back? Only after seeing he came back and sat down did she feel relieved. She did not dare to offend him this time, hence she came over and sat next to him.

Wei Xiaobao thought, “This moment you need my help; if I don’t take any advantage now, what am I waiting for?” Reaching out with his left hand, he wrapped it around her waist, while with his right hand he held Ah Ke’s right hand. Ah Ke struggled slightly, and then stay motionless. Wei Xiaobao was very happy, he thought, “It would be best if that man surnamed Feng is killed by Yang Dage and the others, and won’t come back forever, so that I can sit waiting like this for the rest my life.”

He was fully aware that Ah Ke did not have even half a part of feeling toward him, early on he already had no high hopes in his heart; he only hoped he could sit embracing her for a lifetime, then he would be perfectly contented, he would be even happier if she did not ask him for a help.

Unfortunately, things turned out contrary to the way he wished; he only embraced her for a short time when they heard the faint sound of hoof beats on the main road. Ah Ke sprang up and called out, “Zheng Gongzi is back.”

The sound of hoof beats was getting nearer and nearer, it sounded like two horses were rushing over. “All right,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I just got my life back, no need to have the barbarians eat me.” The tone of his voice was brimming with bitterness. But by this time, even if he was ten times more angry, why would Ah Ke care? She was anxiously running toward the main road.

The two horses arrived one after another. The attendants lifted high their lanterns, while cheering loudly. The one riding on the front was indeed Zheng Keshuang. Seeing Ah Ke rushing over to meet him, he leaped down from his horse. The two of them embraced each other with unbounded happiness. Ah Ke buried her head in his bosom, crying. She said, “I was afraid … afraid those barbarians would … would …”

Wei Xiaobao was actually starting to stand up, but seeing this sight, it was as if the pit of his stomach was punched, hard. He fell back sitting down, his head dizzy his eyes blurred. He made an oath in his heart, “His granny, if in this life I cannot make you, this stinky little mother, as my wife, I am your Zheng Keshuang’s seventeenth, eighteenth generation grandson. I, Wei Xiaobao, am a ‘wang jiu dan’, a ‘wang ba dan’ plus one egg[1].”

If other people undergo this situation, if they did not completely disheartened, broken hearted and shed some tears, then they would be determined to cut off all feeling and started to look for a better match. Wei Xiaobao, however, by nature was a hoodlum, with thick skin and very strong, tenacious personality; a thick-faced and strong-willed person.

“In short,” he continued his musing, “Laozi will hang around you for the rest of my life. If my life is spent, my soul will not go away, I will cling to you. Even if you marry eighteen times, the nineteenth time will be with laozi.”

He grew up in a brothel, he was accustomed to see the prostitutes welcoming new guests and sending off the old ones. He did not think that a woman’s heart was capable to be attached to any extraordinary important matter; all those ‘faithful unto death’, ‘chaste’ or ‘not double-hearted’, he had never heard of.

He was upset for only a short time, and then was able to giggle while walking over and said, “Zheng Gongzi, you are back; you haven’t been bitten by the barbarians?”

Zheng Keshuang was startled. “What do you mean bitten?” he asked. Ah Ke was also startled; she looked at him up and down; only after seeing that his five sense organs and fingers were whole did she feel relieved.

Feng Xifan was still sitting on the horseback. “Who is this little kid?” he asked.

“He is Miss Chen’s Shidi,” Zheng Keshuang replied. Feng Xifan nodded.

Wei Xiaobao looked up at him, he saw a slim face, yellowish, with black hair, two slanting swallowtail beard, his eyes turned into two slits; he really looked like a tuberculosis ghost. Concerned over Yang Yizhi’s safety, he asked, “Feng Shifu, you really have capability, in just a short time you are able to rescue Zheng Gongzi back. Did you kill that barbarian leader?”

“What barbarian?” Feng Xifan asked, “They dressed up.”

Wei Xiaobao was inwardly shocked; he said, “They dressed up? But they can speak barbarian tongue.”

“Fake!” Feng Xifan said. Feeling it was beneath his dignity to talk too much to this little kid, he turned to Zheng Keshuang and said, “Gongzi, you must be tired, why don’t we go to rest at that ancestral hall over there?”

Ah Ke was concerned about her shifu. “I am afraid Shifu will worry when she wakes up and did not see me.”

“Let’s go back immediately,” Wei Xiaobao said.

Ah Ke looked at Zheng Keshuang, she was hoping he would come with her. Zheng Keshuang said, “Shifu, let’s everybody go to the inn to have something to eat, and some good sleep.”

On the way Wei Xiaobao questioned Zheng Keshuang on how he escaped. Zheng Keshuang boasted about his shifu’s skill, how in just a few moves he killed the barbarians that they scattered away. Wei Xiaobao made sure he heard that ‘the barbarian leader did not lose his life’ before he felt relieved.

By the time they all arrived at the inn, the sky had already brightened, Jiu Nan was already awake for quite some time. She had already expected that Ah Ke would pull Wei Xiaobao to save Zheng Keshuang; therefore, she was not surprised to see the two of them went missing.

When Zheng Keshuang and the others arrived, he introduced Feng Xifan to her. Jiu Nan noticed his listless appearance, but occasionally his eyes would open wide, and she could see the unusual brightness of his gaze; she thought, “This man has a reputation as ‘One Sword without Blood’, apparently his name is not in vain, his martial art is indeed superb.”

After breakfast, Jiu Nan said, “Zheng Gongzi, we, master and disciples, have some business we need to take care of; we’ll have to separate here.”

Zheng Keshuang was startled; he was quite disappointed. “It’s a rare fate that brought me to see Shitai,” he said, “I was just thinking of asking a lot of guidance. I wonder where Shitai is heading; in any case junior does not have any important matter to manage, don’t you think it will be good if we travel together?”

Jiu Nan shook her head and said, “Those who have left home have many inconvenience.” Taking Ah Ke and Wei Xiaobao, she climbed into the carriage.

Zheng Keshuang was at a loss, he could not say anything. Ah Ke’s eyes turned red at once, she was barely able to refrain from crying. Wei Xiaobao struggled hard to maintain a straight face; he prayed silently, “May Shifu lives to be a hundred years, may she enjoys lots of good fortune and long life. Amituofo, may Buddha bless and protect her.”

“Shifu,” he asked, “Where are we going?”

“Beijing,” Jiu Nan replied.

After half a day, she said coldly, “If that surnamed Zheng is following us, nobody is to pay him any attention. Whichever of you does not obey, I will immediately kill that surnamed Zheng!”

Ah Ke was startled. “Shifu, why?” she asked.

“No reason,” Jiu Nan replied, “I love peace and quiet, I don’t like other people bothering me.”

Ah Ke did not dare to ask further. After a while, suddenly she remembered something. “What if Shidi talked to him?” she asked.

“Same thing,” Jiu Nan replied, “I will kill Zheng Gongzi.”

Wei Xiaobao could not bear it anymore; he coughed, and then snickered.

---

[1] ‘wang’ – king, ‘ba’ – eight, ‘dan’ – egg; strung together, it means ‘b@stard’ or son of a b1tch. ‘Wangba’ can also mean ‘tortoise’ or ‘cuckold’. He was simply increasing the level of ‘b@stardness’ by one degree.

[foxs]

“Shifu, it’s not fair,” Ah Ke said, “Shidi might deliberately talk to him.”

Jiu Nan glowered at her. “If that surnamed Zheng did not follow us, how can Xiaobao talk to him? If he ignored my request and kept hanging around me, death cannot wipe out his crimes.”

Wei Xiaobao was bursting with joy, he felt that among good people on the earth, nobody surpasses his Shifu. Suddenly he pulled Jiu Nan’s hand and kissed the palm of her hand.

Jiu Nan shook his hand away. “Fooling around!” she spoke sternly. But for more than twenty years there had never been anyone who was this affectionate toward her; although this disciple was unbridled, he was showing a genuine affection. Her mouth was scolding, but a smile appeared at the corners of her mouth.

Ah Ke saw how partial her Shifu was, plus she was wondering when she would see Zheng Gongzi again. The more she thought about it, the sadder she was; tears streamed down her face.

A few days later the three of them arrived at Beijing, and found a small, secluded inn in Dongcheng [lit. eastern town, a district of central Beijing] area. Jiu Nan went to Wei Xiaobao’s room, bolted the door, and said in a low voice, “Xiaobao, can you guess why we are in Beijing?”

Wei Xiaobao replied, “I am guessing that if not for Tao Gugu, then it must be for those remaining several copies of the sutra.”

Jiu Nan nodded, “Correct,” she said, “It is for those several copies of the sutra.”

After a short pause, she continued slowly, “This time I suffered a very serious injury, I got to think about a lot of things. One person, no matter how perfect he trained his martial art, inevitably his power is lacking. Ultimately, the important matters of the world need the pooling of brains and brawn of the men of great aspiration to succeed. The crowd of heroes initiated the ‘Turtle-Slaying Assembly’ at Hejian Prefecture; I have given it a careful thought: even if we managed to kill Wu Sangui, that traitor, one person, our rivers and mountains are still in the Tatars’ hands. It would be no more than we are venting our resentment for a short while; what else would it do? But if we can obtain the sutras, we can break the Tatars’ dragon vein, by appealing people aspiring to benevolence throughout the world to hold the banner of righteousness together. Only then will we have the hope to recover our Great Ming’s rivers and mountains.”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Shifu is right.”

Jiu Nan said, “I need another half a month to recuperate before my internal energy can fully recover. After that I can go into the Palace to investigate. Finding the whereabouts of the other seven sutras is the first and foremost.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Let the disciple sneak into the Palace first, I will open my eyes and ears wide. Who knows? The Heaven might bless me so that I can find a clue.”

Jiu Nan nodded. “You are very smart,” she said, “Perhaps you will be able to accomplish this important matter. This big merit …” Speaking to this point, she heaved a deep sigh, her eyes were brimming with encouragement.

Wei Xiaobao had a strong impulse to reveal the truth: “The other five sutras are in disciple’s hand.” But immediately he had a second thought, “Xiao Xuanzi treated me like a true friend; if I helped Shifu, I am destroying his rivers and mountains, then he won’t be the Emperor anymore. Won’t that mean I am violating yi qi too much?”

Seeing his hesitation, Jiu Nan thought he was concerned over if he would succeed or not; thereupon she said, “This matter is indeed very difficult. We simply have to do our best, and that’s all I can ask. This is called ‘man proposes Heaven disposes’ [orig. ‘planning is with man, success is with heaven’]. Ay, I wonder if the Zhu family has reached the end of its destiny, or will there still hope? Over the past dozens of years, all my hopes have turned to dust, my worldly thoughts broken. I did not expect that after seeing Hongying and you, originally I did not want to pay attention to the affairs of the nation, but the affairs of the nation managed to get back into my head.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Shifu, you are a princess of the Great Ming, these rivers and mountains originally belonged to your family; it was usurped by other people, naturally we must snatch it back.”

Jiu Nan sighed and said, “This matter does not belong to my family alone. All the other members of my family are dead.” Stretching out her arm, she gently stroked Wei Xiaobao’s head, while saying, “Xiaobao, you must never leak even half a word about this matter in front of your Shijie.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded in respond; he thought, “Shijie is such a beautiful and lovely woman, yet Shifu does not like her too much; I wonder what’s the reason? I think it must be because she cannot lick Shifu’s behind.”

Early morning the next day, he went into the Palace to have an audience with the Emperor. Kangxi was greatly delighted; pulling his hand, he laughed and said, “Damn it, why do you come back only today? Every day I am waiting for you. I was quite worried, afraid that you were seized by that evil nun, your little life could not be guaranteed. The day before yesterday Dolong returned and submitted his report, saying that he saw you; only then did I feel relieved. How did you escape?”

“Thank you for Your Majesty’s concern, and sent the Imperial Bodyguards to go looking for your servant,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “That evil nun was originally very angry, she was determined to punch and kick me, later on I told her that Your Majesty is ‘raw bird fish soup’ [niao sheng yu tang, see Chapter 14], is a very good Emperor, that she must not kill you. She spoke many more treason and heresy words. I praised you one sentence, she gave me one slap on the face. Later on I was unwilling to suffer another imminent pain, I had no choice but to shut my mouth and expect for the best.”

Kangxi nodded. “If you were killed by her, that would be for nothing anyway,” he said, “What is actually the evil nun’s background? She came to assassinate me, who sent her?”

“Who sent her, your servant did not know,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “After she kidnapped me that time, she tied my wrists with rope, and then took me away like pulling a circus monkey. Your Majesty, with my mouth I did not dare to curse, but in my heart I cursed her seventeen, eighteen-generation ancestors.”

Kangxi laughed. “I am not surprised,” he said, “Why wouldn’t you?”

“She dragged me along for several days,” Wei Xiaobao continued, “Several times she wanted to kill me, fortunately along the way we came across someone. This man has a friendship relation with your servant; he helped me by saying a lot of good words on my behalf, and then the evil nun stopped beating me.”

“Who was that man?” Kangxi asked in astonishment.

“This man surnamed Yang,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “He is the leader of the Ping Xi Wang’s Heir Apparent warriors.”

Kangxi was very interested. “So he is that servant Wu Sangui’s subordinate?” he asked, “Why did he help you by saying good things on your behalf?”

“Actually, it originated from Your Majesty’s benevolence,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “When the people of Mu Family of Yunnan entered the Palace and created disturbance the other day, they were framing Wu Sangui. Everybody else believed it, but Your Majesty is wise beyond compare, you were able to see through their plot. Your Majesty sent me to pass on the imperial edict to Wu Sangui’s son. It was at that time that the man surnamed Yang met with your servant.”

Kangxi nodded. “So that’s how it is,” he said.

Before entering the Palace, Wei Xiaobao had already prepared a good story; he added, “That man surnamed Yang is called Yang Yizhi. He mentioned the Mu Family incident to the nun, saying that although the Emperor is young, his knowledge and experience may surpass the ‘raw bird fish soup’, very intelligent and wise; practically he is the Daoist Immortal or Bodhisattva descending into the mortal world. The nun was half believing and half doubting, but she did not treat me that strict anymore afterwards. One evening, Yang Yizhi and the nun talked in the room, I pretended to be asleep, but I opened my ears. Turned out the nun came to assassinate the Emperor under someone else’s order.”

“It’s Wu Sangui, that servant,” Kangxi said.

Wei Xiaobao’s face showed a shocked expression. “So Your Majesty already know,” he said, “Did Dolong report it to you?”

“No, he did not,” Kangxi said, “The leader of Wu Sangui’s warriors knew this nun, and he discussed this matter with the nun in secret; what good can come out of that?”

Wei Xiaobao was startled but delighted; he kneeled down and kowtowed, saying, “Your Majesty, I am overjoyed to work for you; whatever it is, you can always guess it right the first time, no need for me to tell you. In all our lives, everything will be fine, we will never lose to anybody else.”

Kangxi laughed and said, “Get up, get up! Last time it was dangerous enough at the Qingliang Temple on Mount Wutai. If you did not risk your life by blocking in front of me …” Speaking to this point, his expression turned serious; he continued, “This traitor’s evil plot would have prevailed.” Thinking how that day the nun in white strike like thunder or lightning, he could not help but shiver.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Actually, when the nun’s sword was thrust your way, your movement was very quick, naturally you could have used the move ‘single cloud coming out of the mountain peak’ to evade, and then you turned around and used the ‘red-crowned crane combing its tail feathers’ to strike the evil nun’s shoulder. She must have cried out ‘Surrender!’; it’s just that I was afraid you might be injured, my mind was confused, I was only thinking of blocking in front of you, to take the sword on your behalf. Your Majesty has not had any opportunity to unleash your martial art skill and create a stir in front of the Shaolin monks; it was indeed a pity.”

Kangxi burst out in laughter; he knew perfectly well that if that day Wei Xiaobao did not block in front of him, he would have died from the nun in white’s stab. This little fellow was so loyal and unexpectedly did not claim any credit for himself; a person like him was indeed hard to come by. He laughed and said, “You are very young, yet your official duty is already quite big. Wait till you are a few years older, I will promote you to be a high-ranking official.”

Wei Xiaobao shook his head and said, “I don’t want to be a high-ranking official; I only hope to go on missions for Your Majesty. As long as I do not provoke you into anger, I am perfectly contented.”

Kangxi patted his shoulder. “Very good, very good,” he said, “Just do what I told you to do, I will be very happy, how can I be angry at you? What else did that man surnamed Yang say to the nun?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Yang Yizhi repeatedly persuaded the nun, saying that there are a lot of good things about Your Majesty. He said that Wu Sangui has shown kindness to his father, hence before his father died, he beseeched him to protect Wu Sangui. But Wu Sangui single-mindedly wants to be the Emperor, which is really a treason and heresy, something that he should have never wanted. When this matter is exposed in the future, everybody will be executed along with his family unto the third generation. The nun also said that her entire family was wiped our by the Ta … Ta … by us, Manchu people. Wu Sangui treated her with full respect. She came to assassinate you, first of all it was to give Wu Sangui a lot of face, secondly, she wanted to avenge her father and mother. The rest of her family has already died, hence she was not afraid of execution unto the third generation.”

Kangxi nodded. Wei Xiaobao continued, “Yang Yizhi said that Your Majesty treats the common people well, if … if she harmed you, and Wu Sangui became the Emperor, although he would become a high-ranking officer or a great general, but the common people under the heavens might suffer great hardship. The nun is actually softhearted, she pays particular attention to mercy. After thinking for a long time, she said that he was right, therefore, she decided not to continue her mission. The two of them then agreed that if Wu Sangui sent another assassin, the two of them would kill this assassin in secret.”

Kangxi happily said, “Those two people actually understood virtuous cause very well.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “But Yang Yizhi said that there was one more thing that is not easy to accomplish.”

“What other strange thing is that?” Kangxi asked.

Wei Xiaobao said, “The two of them talked in low voice for quite a while, it was not too clear to me, I only heard something like ‘Yan Pin Jun Wang’ and ‘Zheng Family of Taiwan’ was mentioned, it seems to me that Wu Sangui wanted to divide the world equally with somebody surnamed Zheng.”

Kangxi stood up; he said in a loud voice, “Turns out that servant is colluding with those Taiwan’s rebellious thieves in secret.”

Wei Xiaobao asked, “What kind of damned b@stard is Zheng Family of Taiwan?”

“That rebellious thief surnamed Zheng occupies Taiwan illegally,” Kangxi explained, “They refuse to accept beneficial influence of the sovereign; only because they are far away overseas that temporarily it is not easy to pacify that region.”

Wei Xiaobao’s expression showed that he had just suddenly seen the light. “So that’s what happened,” he said, “By this time the more I heard, the more your servant was angry, thinking that these rivers and mountains are Your Majesty’s, what kind of ‘thing’ are those men surnamed Wu and surname Zheng anyway? How dare they want to divide Your Majesty’s land under the heavens equally? Yang Yizhi said that the one surnamed Zheng of Taiwan sent his second son, his name was Zheng Ke … Zheng Ke …”

“Zheng Keshuang,” Kangxi said.

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao happily said, “Your Majesty knows everything.”

Kangxi smiled without saying anything. The fact was: for the last several years he had been planning and preparing to take Taiwan back under his territory, he had long ago acquired clear information on the names of the Zheng family father and sons, as well as Taiwan’s military strength and their naval situation.

“That Zheng Keshuang visited Yunnan recently,” Wei Xiaobao continued, “He had a meeting with Wu Sangui for over half a month.”

Kangxi’s face suddenly showed displeasure. “Is there such thing?” he wondered aloud.

Taiwan and Yunnan were actually two regions that he was concerned about the most. He had never thought that Zheng and Wu, two people, would join hands in conspiracy. It was only this time that he heard about Zheng Keshuang’s visit to Yunnan.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Taiwan has a fellow whose martial art skill is very high, he protected Zheng Keshuang all the way. This fellow is surnamed Feng, he is called One Sword Bleeding [yi jian chu xue] or something like that.”

“One Sword without Blood [yi jian wu xue] Feng Xifan,” Kangxi said, “Along with Liu Guoxuan and Chen Yonghua, they are known as the Three Tigers of Taiwan.”

Hearing the Emperor mentioning his shifu’s real name, Wei Xiaobao’s heart turned cold. “Yes, yes,” he said, “Exactly, it was One Sword without Blood Feng Xifan. Yang Yizhi said that among the three tigers of Taiwan, Chen Yonghua is the good one, Feng Xifan and the other one are the bad ones. Chen Yonghua is unwilling to join the rebellion against Your Majesty, it’s just that he is only one tiger, he cannot stand up against the other two tigers.”

[foxs]

In front of Kangxi he was speaking good things about Jiu Nan, Yang Yizhi and Chen Jinnan, three people, for a one in ten thousand chance that they were captured by the Qing court, then he already had something with which he could try to save them.

Kangxi shook his head. “That’s not necessarily true,” he said, “Chen Yonghua is a lot more formidable than the other two tigers.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Yang Yizhi also told that nun that there are too many Wu Sangui’s adversaries in Jianghu, they assembled at Hejian Prefecture in a congress called the ‘Slaying-Turtle Assembly’, in which they discussed ways to kill Wu Sangui. That Zheng Keshuang and Feng Xifan mingled in the congress to gather information which they will then pass on to Wu Sangui. The longer they talked, their voices were getting lower and lower, I was trying to listen hard for half a day, and after knowing that they were not planning on harming Your Majesty, I did not pay too much attention anymore. Afterwards I fell asleep for real. Your Majesty, in this case your servant was a little bit lazy, but I was extremely exhausted. Around midnight Yang Yizhi quietly awakened me, unsealed my acupoints, and told me that the nun was meditating to cultivate her internal energy, he told me that it was the best time for me to sneak out.”

Kangxi nodded. “That man surnamed Yang actually still has conscience,” he said.

“Isn’t that so?” Wei Xiaobao said, “When in the future Your Majesty put Wu Sangui to death, I am asking Your Majesty to show mercy by sparing this Yang Yizhi’s life.”

Kangxi said, “If he can render meritorious service, not only I will spare his life, I will also bestow him rewards. What else did you hear at the ‘Slaying-Turtle Assembly’?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Each province elected an alliance leader, that Zheng Keshuang was elected Mengzhu of Fujian province, I think Fujian, Guangdong, Zhejiang, Shanxi or something are put under their Zheng Family’s jurisdiction.”

Kangxi smiled; he thought, “Xiao Guizi is wrong, it must be Jiangxi, not Shanxi.”

With hands behind his back, he paced back and forth in the Study Room. Successively he went back and forth for dozens of times before he suddenly said, “Xiao Guizi, do you dare to go to Yunnan?”

Wei Xiaobao was startled; it was really beyond his expectation. “Your Majesty wants me to go secretly gather information at Wu Sangui’s place over there?” he asked.

Kangxi nodded; “This mission is indeed dangerous,” he said, “But you are young, Wu Sangui will not guard against you. Plus that Yang Yizhi is your friend, he will definitely look after you.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Your Majesty, it’s not that I am afraid of going to Yunnan, but I have just returned to the Palace, I haven’t seen you quite a few days yet, and now I have to leave you, I really hate to part with you.”

Kangxi nodded. “Yes,” he said, “I have the same feeling. Too bad that I am the Emperor, I can’t move around as I wish; otherwise the two of us can go to Yunnan together, I’ll grab Wu Sangui’s beard, you grab his hands, and together we’ll ask, ‘Damn it Wu Sangui, are you going to surrender or not?’ Won’t that be amusing?”

Wei Xiaobao laughed. “That’s a wonderful idea,” he said, “Your Majesty, you cannot go to Yunnan, I’ll swindle Wu Sangui to come to the Palace, and then we can grab his beard, what do you think?”

Kangxi burst out in loud laughter. “Good! Fabulous!” he said, “I am just afraid this servant is a wily old fox, he won’t be duped easily. Ah, Xiao Guizi, I have an idea that won’t raise his suspicion.”

“Your Majesty’s divine strategy is definitely very brilliant,” Wei Xiaobao said.

“We will marry Princess Jianning to his son,” Kangxi said, “Now that we become in-laws, he could not possibly guard against us.”

Wei Xiaobao was startled, “You want to marry her to that fellow Wu Yingxiong?” he asked, “This … isn’t this too convenient for him?”

Kangxi said, “She is that old s1ut’s daughter. We marry her to Yunnan, let her suffer a little bit of hardship first. In the future, when Wu Sangui is executed, along with his entire family unto the third generation, she will be executed together with them.” His voice was brimming with hatred.

Originally he liked this little sister very much, but ever since he found out that the Empress Dowager murdered his own mother and angered his father that he left home to become a monk, he also hated this little sister. He added, “At that time I can say that the old s1ut did not raise her daughter properly, then I can force her to commit suicide.”

“Your Majesty,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Your servant has just heard a huge good news. Your Majesty must be very happy to hear it.”

“What good news?” Kangxi asked.

Wei Xiaobao put his mouth near Kangxi’s ear and said in a low voice, “That old s1ut is a fake Empress Dowager, the real Empress Dowager is still alive and well in the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful.” In front of Kangxi, he still did not dare to utter the word ‘old wh0re’.

Kangxi was shocked. “What?” he said in a trembling voice, “What do you mean fake Empress Dowager?”

Thereupon Wei Xiaobao told Kangxi in details how the fake Empress Dowager imprisoned the real Empress Dowager, and then she assumed the Empress Dowager’s identity to commit all kinds of evil.

Kangxi was dumbstruck; he was speechless for half a day. After a long time passed he finally said, “Is there really such thing? Is there really such thing …? How did you know?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Knowing the old s1ut’s malicious character, your servant was afraid she might harm Your Majesty; therefore, I bribed a palace maid in the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful to secretly spy on her. As soon as I know something is not right, I will notify Your Majesty immediately, so that we can strike first and gain the upper hand. As soon as your servant entered the Palace today, the palace maid told me this very important matter.”

Beads of perspiration streamed down from Kangxi’s forehead; he said in a trembling voice, “Where is that palace maid?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “I thought that this secret is too big; if she leaked it out, the consequences might be very serious. Therefore, your servant brazenly pushed her into a well, making sure that nobody will find her. Ay, I really wronged her.”

Kangxi nodded, a relief expression briefly appeared on his face. “You handled it well,” he said, “Tomorrow you pull her body up and give her a decent burial, find out where her family is, and generously give them gift to comfort the bereaved.”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “I will do as Your Majesty’s instructed.”

“This matter should not be delayed,” Kangxi said, “Let us go to the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful at once.” Finished speaking, he stood up, fetched a couple of swords from the wall and gave one sword to Wei Xiaobao. He said in a low voice, “We are going to take care of this matter ourselves, we must not let the palace maids and the court eunuchs know.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded. “Your Majesty,” he said, “The old s1ut’s martial art is formidable, as soon as I enter the room to grasp her, Your Majesty should cut off her arms first, and then we can ask her the details.”

Kangxi nodded. “Very well!” he said.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Your Majesty should take a lot of Imperial Bodyguards, have them wait outside the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful. If the situation turns really bad, we will have to call for help. Otherwise, if your servant is unable to hold the fake Empress Dowager firmly, this old s1ut might dash out and assault Your Majesty’s ten-thousand-gold body; that … that might be very inappropriate.”

Kangxi nodded; he made a decision right then and there: “If we absolutely have to have the Imperial Bodyguards’ help, after everything is done, these Imperial Bodyguards will have to be executed to close their mouths.”

Kangxi went out the Study Room and summoned eight Imperial Bodyguards to escort him. When they arrived outside the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful, he ordered the Imperial Bodyguards to wait far away in the flower garden, while together with Wei Xiaobao they walked straight toward the Empress Dowager’s personal quarter. One after another the palace maids and court eunuchs of the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful kneeled down to greet him. Kangxi said, “All of you go to the garden, nobody can come here.” Everybody obeyed and went away.

Wei Xiaobao knew that the fake Empress Dowager had sent his shifu Jiu Nan seven ‘transforming bones soft palm’ palm strikes, but all of this sinister and ruthless palm power was returned to her. Although his shifu had taught her how to dissolve the poison, but henceforth, as soon as she used internal energy, the bones in her body would immediately break into one-cun pieces. By counting the day, he calculated that by this time the poisonous power had not been completely dissolved; but even if it had, he calculated that she would not dare to fight. Plus, he still had the Five-Dragon Command in his hand. With this knowledge that he had a secure backing, his heart was calm.

Kangxi, on the other hand, knew that this fake Empress Dowager’s martial art skill was very formidable; his entire martial art skill was actually taught by him. Even if he had Wei Xiaobao as his backup, the skill difference between them was indeed very far. Their only advantage was that the two of them had a pair of swords, while she was barehanded, and that she was going to be caught unprepared, just like when they were dealing with Oboi in the past. And thus when he entered the bedroom, his palms were wet with perspiration.

Wei Xiaobao thought, “Today is my chance to set up a great merit, I am going to pounce on the old wh0re, His Majesty only know that I am dashing on bravely without any thought of my personal safety, while in fact I am beating up a dead dog who cannot move a single step. Beating up a dead dog is what laozi can do best.” In a low voice he said, “This s1ut’s martial art is superb, Your Majesty must not take any risk. Let your servant move first!” Kangxi nodded, his right hand tightly grabbed the hilt of his sword.

When they entered the bedroom, they did not see anybody there, the bed curtain was hanging down. The Empress Dowager’s voice came out from inside the bed curtain, “Emperor, you have not visited the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful for many days; are you well?”

Previously, Kangxi would visit the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful every day to pay his respect to the Empress Dowager. Ever since he learned the inside story, his heart was filled with unspeakable hatred, hence his visit became very scarce.

Kangxi and Wei Xiaobao had not expected that she would sleep in the bed during the day, whatever method they had previously planned was quite useless now. Kangxi said, “I heard the Empress Dowager is not feeling very well, your son is paying the Empress Dowager a visit.” He made an eye signal to Wei Xiaobao, ordering him, “Raise the bed curtain!”

“Cha!” Wei Xiaobao complied[1], and walked toward the bed.

“I am afraid of the wind,” the Empress Dowager said, “Don’t raise the bed curtain.”

Kangxi thought, “If I did not heed her words and raise the bed curtain by force, she might guard against me.” He said, “Yes. I wonder what ailment does the Empress Dowager suffer; have you taken any medicine?”

“I have,” the Empress Dowager replied, “The imperial doctor says it’s a very light common cold, nothing serious.”

Kangxi said, “Your son wants to see how does the Empress Dowager look? Do you have any fever?”

The Empress Dowager sighed and said, “I look all right, you do not need to see. Emperor, please go back.”

Suspicion arose in Kangxi’s heart, “What trick is she playing?”

Wei Xiaobao noticed the bed was pitch-black, he turned his body around and made a signal to Kangxi, hinting that he was going to grab her feet, and the Emperor should hack with his sword. In that instant, Kangxi was having a second thought, “Supposing everything Xiao Guizi said is wrong, then what happen? Although the man dressed as palace maid was real, but perhaps the Empress Dowager was just having a dirty confusion of mind against the Palace’s prohibition, and could not control her desire. Once my sword is chopping down, in case she is the real Empress Dowager, and not an impostor, won’t I not only be a muddle head, but an unfilial son as well? I would rather have the fake Empress Dowager guards against me and have the Imperial Bodyguards come to help me capturing her, but I must not be reckless in dealing with this matter and thus chopping and harming the real Empress Dowager.” Thereupon he shook his head and waved his hand, ordering Wei Xiaobao to back off.

“Empress Dowager,” he said, “Your son is worried.” In a quick step he walked to the bed and stretched out his hand to open the bed curtain.

As the brocaded curtain parted, he saw the Empress Dowager quickly turned around, facing the inside of the bed. Yet in that instant Kangxi was able to catch a glimpse of Empress Dowager’s thin cheeks, her appearance was substantially different. “Empress Dowager,” he said, “You, Senior suddenly became very thin lately.” His voice trembled.

The Empress Dowager sighed and said, “Ever since returning from Mount Wutai, my appetite has been bad, every day I can only eat less than half a bowl of rice. When looking at the mirror, I almost cannot recognize myself.”

Kangxi thought, “Xiao Guizi’s words are obviously not a lie, this old s1ut did not expect I would suddenly come back, she is sleeping on the bed, thinking that nobody would see her, today she did not put on her disguise, hence no matter what she did not allow me to see her face. Now that I have seen it with my own eyes, could I be mistaken?”

Burning with anger, he shouted loudly, “Aiyo, Empress Dowager, there’s a big rat behind the hanging bed curtain. Help! Quickly roll up the bed curtain to catch the rat!” While saying that, he retreated two steps backward, afraid that when the Empress Dowager saw her plot had been exposed, she might suddenly turn violent and attack.

But he only heard the Empress Dowager’s trembling voice, “What rat behind the bed curtain?”

Wei Xiaobao stepped forward to draw the woolen cord to roll up the curtain, exposing a wardrobe door behind it. “Uh!” Kangxi exclaimed, “Turns out there is a big wardrobe in here, the rat must be hiding inside the wardrobe!” While thinking, “Now that most of this matter has been exposed, she is prepared, we cannot launch a sneak attack anymore.” Retreating toward the door, he beckoned toward Wei Xiaobao and said, “Summon the Imperial Bodyguards to come in. There’s a strange noise in the wardrobe, we must not let any assassin hiding in there and frighten the Empress Dowager.”

---

[1] I don’t know if there is any English word for this, basically ‘Cha’ is ‘yes’, used by a subject to the Emperor. (Not that I am an expert, but I’ve watched enough movies to know this … J)

[foxs]

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said. He turned outside and called out loudly from the door, “Summon the Imperial Bodyguards!” Eight Imperial Bodyguards appeared in front of the bedroom door and bowed, awaiting the imperial decree.

The Empress Dowager angrily said, “Emperor, what trick are you playing?”

Kangxi laughed and said, “Ah, right. Princess Jianning is hiding inside the wardrobe, playing hide-and-seek. Empress Dowager, I’ve been looking for her everywhere, she must be inside the wardrobe.” He waved his right hand.

Wei Xiaobao immediately opened the wardrobe, but the wardrobe door was locked, he could not open it. Kangxi laughed and said, “Empress Dowager, where is the wardrobe key?”

The Empress Dowager angrily said, “I am not feeling well, you two children are actually coming to my room to play. Quickly get out for me.” The Imperial Bodyguards knew that the Emperor often played with Princess Jianning. Hearing the Empress Dowager, they all broke into smile.

Kangxi said, “Pry the wardrobe door open. The Empress Dowager is ill, we must not disturb her, the Senior.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao complied. From his boot he pulled his dagger and inserted it into the wardrobe door. With a light cut the lock catch broke. He then pulled the handle and the wardrobe door opened smoothly. He saw a pile of brocade quilt inside, exactly what he saw that night inside the wardrobe, but there was nobody inside.

Wei Xiaobao was startled, “That night I clearly saw the real Empress Dowager was hidden inside the wardrobe,” he mused, “How can she disappear all of a sudden? Could it be that the old wh0re is afraid my shifu might reveal her secret and thus has killed the real Empress Dowager?”

Opening up the brocade quilt inside the wardrobe, he could vaguely see a book at the bottom of the quilt, the book looked like the ‘Forty-two-chapter Sutra’. Hastily he put down the brocade quilt to cover the book. Turning his head around, he saw Kangxi’s bewildered expression; when he turned his attention toward the bed again, he noticed the quilt on the bed was bulging, apparently there was someone else hiding underneath the bedding. “The Princess is hiding inside the Empress Dowager’s bedding,” he happily said.

“Quickly pull her out,” Kangxi urgently said. He was afraid that realizing her secret was exposed, the fake Empress Dowager would immediately kill the real Empress Dowager.

Wei Xiaobao rushed toward the bed and put his hand underneath the bedding at the Empress Dowager’s foot side, with the intention of pulling the real Empress Dowager’s foot out. As soon as he reached in, he felt that he was touching a hairy leg, and could not help but was very shocked. Right this moment, a big foot suddenly shot out and kicked his chest. “Aiyo!” Wei Xiaobao screamed, and fell backward.

The quilt rose up, a stark-naked meatball leaped out; carrying the quilt, with the Empress Dowager inside, the meatball dashed out of the door.

The eight Imperial Bodyguards was greatly shocked; hastily they tried to block, but the meatball struck them. Three Imperial Bodyguards flew out of the door and fell on the ground outside the bedroom. Carrying the Empress Dowager, the meatball dashed out.

Kangxi bolted to the door, but saw that the meatball was leaping out as if it was flying. In just a few leaps it already reached the garden wall. With one leap it reached the top of the wall, and immediately disappeared on the other side. “Quickly pursue!” Kangxi shouted.

Three Imperial Bodyguards were struck by the meatball and were unable to crawl up from the ground. The remaining five Imperial Bodyguards rushed toward the wall, but they could no longer see the meatball’s shadow.

Wei Xiaobao’s mind was fuzzy, there was a severe pain on his chest. He scrambled up toward the wardrobe, reached into the quilt, grabbed the sutra, and hid it inside his pocket. He heard Kangxi’s shouts in the garden, “Come back, come back!” Wei Xiaobao turned around and fell to the floor. He heard footsteps as the Imperial Bodyguards rushed back. Outside the bedroom, Kangxi ordered the Imperial Bodyguards, “Everybody stay here, don’t make any noise.”

Kangxi returned to the bedroom, closed the door, and said in a low voice, “What happened?”

Propping himself against a table, Wei Xiaobao stood up and said, “Mon … monster!” In his shock his face was devoid of any color.

Kangxi shook his head and said, “That’s not a monster! He is the old s1ut’s male adulterer.”

Wei Xiaobao’s mind had not cleared up yet. “What male adulterer?” he asked.

“That was a man, didn’t you see?” Kangxi said, “A short and fat man.”

Wei Xiaobao was astonished, but amused at the same time; he said, “The old s1ut was hiding a … short and fat man who was not wearing anything!”

Kangxi’s expression looked grave. “What about the real Empress Dowager?” he asked.

“It would be best if … if she has not been killed by the old s1ut …” Wei Xiaobao said. Suddenly he remembered something. Lifting up the mattress on the Empress Dowager’s bed, he said, “There is a secret compartment underneath the bed.” But he only saw an unsheathed platinum Emei Sting in the secret compartment; nothing else. Hesitatingly he said, “Let’s lift open the bed board and take a look.”

Kangxi rushed forward and helped Wei Xiaobao lifting up the bed board. They saw a woman lying on a mat underground, her body was covered with a thin quilt. When the bed board was in place, it seemed that the board was approximately less than half a chi from this woman’s face.

The bed room was dark, they could not see clearly. “Quickly light a candle,” Kangxi said.

Wei Xiaobao lighted a candle and brought the candlestick close to the hole. They saw the woman’s countenance was pale, her face was goose egg’s shape; apparently, she was the real Empress Dowager hidden inside the wardrobe the other night. The last time Kangxi saw the real Empress Dowager, he was very young. After so many years, he was not sure if she was the real Empress Dowager or not. Yet seeing this woman’s appearance looked a lot like the Empress Dowager he had seen daily, busily he helped her up and asked, “Is it … is it the Empress Dowager?”

With the candlelight right in front of her face, the woman temporarily was unable to open her eyes. “You … you …” she said.

Wei Xiaobao said, “This is the current Emperor, he has personally come here to rescue your sacred good self.”

The woman opened her eyes a slit, she gazed at Kangxi for a moment, and then with a trembling voice said, “Are you … are you really the Emperor?” Suddenly, “Wah!” she cried and reached out to embrace Kangxi and hugged him tightly.

Wei Xiaobao took the candlestick several steps backward; he looked around everywhere to make sure there was no more male adulterer, assassin or fake palace maid. He thought, “The Emperor has met the real Empress Dowager, naturally there will be a lot to talk about. If I hear one more word, my head might not stay on my neck.” Putting the candlestick on the table, he quietly withdrew and closed the door behind him.

He saw outside the door, eight Imperial Bodyguards, palace maids and court eunuchs were standing in the middle of the courtyard, with terrified look on their faces. He waved his hand, ordering them to go into the garden. He said, “Just now the Emperor was playing hide-and-seek with Princess Jianning, Princess was wearing a weird outfit, disguising herself as a large meatball, and then she jumped out. Did all of you see that?”

An Imperial Bodyguard was very perceptive; he busily replied, “Yes, yes. Princess Jianning can move very fast, her disguise is also very amusing.”

Wei Xiaobao showed a faint smile; he said, “His Majesty does not wish other people to know about this child play, whoever has an itchy mouth, the melon head above your neck might not be stable. Now, who wants to gossip and meddle, and talk rubbish?”

The Imperial Bodyguards, palace maids and eunuchs replied in unison, “We do not dare.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded; turning toward the three injured Imperial Bodyguards, he said, “What happened to you? How come without any rhyme or reason you are injured?”

An Imperial Bodyguard replied, “Reporting to Fu Zongguan [deputy chief]: Xiaoren, three of us, were having martial art practice this morning, we were practicing a bit too heavy, and injured each other.”

“Your granny,” Wei Xiaobao cursed, “You are all brothers, why did you move heavily during practice? You were not fighting to the death!”

“Yes, yes,” the three Imperial Bodyguards replied, “Next time we will be more careful.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Those of you who are injured may take twenty taels medical expense.” The three Imperial Bodyguards busily bowed down to express their gratitude. Wei Xiaobao continued, “Your granny, your dad and mom raised you until you are this big, this life is not too cheap. If everybody wants to keep your melon head and still loves to eat rice, then your dog mouths must be a bit more careful. In case you are afraid you might talk in your sleep, you might as well cut your own tongue right now. All of you, report your names to Laozi.”

The Imperial Bodyguards, palace maids and eunuchs reported their names at once. Wei Xiaobao said, “Very well, about the matter of hide-and-seek today, if laozi heard the least bit or rumor, I don’t care who talks too much, all thirty-five of you will be beheaded together. Anybody refuse to accept?”

In their hearts, everybody understood that after witnessing the strange event a moment ago, inevitably their lives would be very difficult to protect, most likely the Emperor would kill them all to close their mouths. By saying those words, Gui Gonggong was actually saving their lives. In their gratefulness, they all kneeled down and kowtowed, saying, “Thank you Gonggong for your great benevolence in saving our lives.”

Wei Xiaobao waved his hand and said, “Thank me for what? It’s His Majesty’s kindness.”

Returning to the bedroom door, he sat on the stone steps and waited quietly. It was more than an hour later that he finally heard Kangxi calling out, “Xiao Guizi, come in.”

He entered the bedroom and saw the Empress Dowager and Kangxi were sitting side-by-side on the bed, they were holding each other’s hand, and there were tears on their faces. He kneeled down and kowtowed, saying, “Congratulations Empress Dowager, congratulations Your Majesty. There are a total of thirty-five servants outside who witnessed Your Majesty playing hide-and-seek with Princess Jianning. If there is any one of them dares to leak half a word, your servant will put all these thirty-five people to death, nobody will be spared. They are all scared to death, I expect no one will dare to talk rubbish.”

Kangxi nodded. Wei Xiaobao continued, “If you want them killed right now to avoid future trouble, your servant will see to it right away.”

Kangxi hesitated slightly. The Empress Dowager said, “Today you and I, mother and son, meet each other. This is an enormously happy occasion, we must not harm anybody’s life too much.”

“Yes,” Kangxi said, “We must do as Buddha has commanded, we thank the Heaven and Bodhisattva for blessing and protecting us.”

The Empress Dowager turned her gaze toward Wei Xiaobao; she said, “Your age is young, yet you have set up these many meritorious service, it is indeed very rare.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “It is because of the Empress Dowager and the Emperor’s great fortune. I only hate the fact that your servant did not display utter loyalty in handling this matter, unable to uncover the evil scheme at the earliest possible time that the Empress Dowager must receive these many years of suffering.”

The Empress Dowager’s heart ached, tears streamed down her face. She said to Kangxi, “You must reward this child well.”

“Yes, yes,” Kangxi said, “Xiao Guizi, your official position is already not low, today I bestow a nobility rank to you. Our Great Qing has five orders of nobility, namely Gong [duke], Hou [marquis], Bo [count], Zi [viscount] and Nan [baron]. By the Empress Dowager’s grace, you are now a first class Zijue [viscount].”

Wei Xiaobao kowtowed for the kindness shown by the Emperor; he said, “Thank you for Empress Dowager’s grace, thank you for Your Majesty’s grace.” While in his heart he mused, “What should I do with this Zijue title? How much money does it worth?” Seeing Kangxi waving his hand, he withdrew.

Wei Xiaobao returned to his residence. He took the book from his pocket. As expected, it was another copy of ‘Forty-two-chapter Sutra’, with which he was very familiar. This book had a blue silk cover with red border. “This must be the Bordered Blue Banner’s copy of the sutra,” he pondered, “Um, that’s right, Tao Gugu said that her Tai Shifu [grand master] tried to steal the sutra from the Bordered Blue Banner’s Banner Commander’s mansion. She failed to obtain the sutra, and was struck by a martial art master of Shen Long Jiao that she suffered a serious injury and died. This copy of sutra most likely fell into that Shen Long Jiao’s martial art master’s hand. Why is it that after so many years this book has not been submitted to Hong Jiaozhu? Perhaps it was not obtained then, but was obtained just recently.”

Expecting a lot of twists and turns in this matter, he knew it was hard for him to speculate. Feeling the pit of his stomach was still hurting very bad, he thought, “That short and fat meatball has a superb martial art skill. Aiyo, is it possible that he was the Shen Long Jiao’s martial art master who stole the sutra? He entered the Palace to meet with the old wh0re, the old wh0re treated him very well, she moved the real Empress Dowager under the bed to let him sleep inside the wardrobe. A moment ago the young emperor and I went to the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful just at the right moment, by lucky coincidence we caught the fornication in bed. This meatball may come back for a revenge, but also want to return to the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful to retrieve the sutra.”

He must inform Dolong, telling him that he heard information that there was a possibility that some villain would enter the Palace to assassinate the Emperor, telling him to dispatch Imperial Bodyguards to strictly guard the Emperor and the Empress Dowager.

He thought, “It won’t be good if the old wh0re is going back to the Divine Dragon Island and report everything to Hong Jiaozhu. Laozi better strike first to gain the upper hand, I must take the map inside the sutra first, and then send one or two empty copies to the Divine Dragon Island. Hong Jiaozhu will want me to find the other copies, hence he will definitely give me the antidote. If he cannot find the map inside the sutra, that’s his problem, it has nothing to do with laozi. It’s his own fault that his share of luck is too small. In any case, his long life is the same as the heaven’s, no need to be impatient, he can look for it slowly. Even if he has to spend 108,000 years, he will eventually find it!”

[foxs]

Chapter 29 - Fragrant breeze suddenly arrives through the rolling curtain, new moon looks down on the bed drenched with early rain.
(Translated by Foxs)

LuDingJi-29.jpg

Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao felt their heads dizzy, they swayed and fell down to the floor. Wei Xiaobao saw stars dancing in front of his eyes, he only drank a mouthful of the sour plum, the rest of it splashed on his body.

[foxs]

Wei Xiaobao went out of the Palace to see Li Lishi, Guan Anji, Priest Xuanzhen, Qian Laoben, and the others. The Tian Di Hui warriors were in high spirit. Li Lishi said, “Subordinate has just received information that Zongduozhu has arrived in Tianjin, he will reach the Capital in a day. Wei Xiangzhu has just returned to the Capital as well; this is very good!”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “It’s very good!” Thinking that he was going to see his shifu again, his heart was inevitably frightened.

The warriors immediately bought some wine and killed some chicken to prepare a welcoming dinner for him.

When the night fell, Wei Xiaobao pulled Gao Yanchao aside and said, “Gao Dage, could you bring me an axe, an iron hammer and a chisel, please?”

Gao Yanchao complied and brought everything he asked for. Wei Xiaobao asked him to take him to the clay-walled shed in the garden where the coffin was placed. “I have to open the coffin,” he said, “To put some things inside.”

“Yes!” Gao Yanchao complied. He felt strange, but since Xiangzhu did not tell him, he felt it was inappropriate for him to ask.

“The night before last,” Wei Xiaobao explained, “This dead friend came to me in a dream, telling me that he wanted several things. Since he was my friend, I can’t possibly refuse.”

Gao Yanchao felt even stranger, but he only responded with ‘yes, yes’.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Please guard outside the door for me, don’t let anybody come in.” And he pushed the door and came in, closed the door, and bolted it.

He saw the thick dust on the coffin; apparently nobody had touched it. Using the chisel and axe he pried out the nails, and shoved the coffin lid away. He took the oil cloth bundle containing the five copies of sutra, and was about to push the coffin lid back when suddenly he heard Gao Yanchao’s voice outside, “Who’s there?”

And then he heard another voice sternly asked, “Where is Chen Jinnan?”

Wei Xiaobao was shocked. “Who’s asking for my Shifu?” he mused. The voice sounded somewhat familiar.

Gao Yanchao replied, “Who are you?”

And then someone coldly said, “No matter where he hides, we will drag him out.”

Wei Xiaobao did recognize this voice, it was Zheng Keshuang. He was even more surprised, “How could this stinky fellow be here?” Immediately he realized that the first person must be the ‘One Sword without Blood’ Feng Xifan.

He heard the clang of metals, the clash of weapons, followed by Gao Yanchao’s muffled grunt, and then ‘bang!’ he fell to the ground. Wei Xiaobao’s shock was even greater, without having much time to think he leaped into the coffin.

He heard Zheng Keshuang said, “That revolting thief must be hiding inside.” In his fright, Wei Xiaobao lifted the lid and closed the coffin, just in time before ‘crack, crash!’ the wooden door of the clay-walled shed was kicked broken. Zheng Keshuang and Feng Xifan walked in.

From inside the coffin Wei Xiaobao looked out, and saw a thread of light; he knew that in his rush he did not close the lid tightly. “Bad, bad!” he groaned inwardly, “They are looking for my Shifu, but find out his disciple instead.”

Suddenly outside the door someone said, “Is Gongzi looking for me? What can I do for you?” It was precisely Chen Jinnan’s voice.

Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted, “Shifu is here!”

Suddenly Chen Jinnan cried, “Ah!” Apparently he was injured. Followed by ‘clang, clang’ twice, the sound of weapons clashing. Chen Jinnan angrily shouted, “Feng Xifan, you are plotting against me? Why?”

Feng Xifan coldly said, “I am following orders to arrest you!”

Zheng Keshuang’s voice was heard, “Chen Yonghua, do you still consider me in your eyes?” His voice was brimming with anger.

“Why did Er Gongzi [second young master] say such thing?” Chen Jinnan said, “It was only the day before yesterday that subordinate found out that Er Gongzi would grace us with your presence in Beijing; that very night I rushed over from Tianjin, unexpectedly Er Gongzi has arrived first. Subordinate was not here to welcome you, please forgive my offense.”

Hearing his shifu was speaking very respectfully and sincerely, Wei Xiaobao cursed in his heart, “Dog fart Er Gongzi, what are you angry for?”

He heard Zheng Keshuang said, “Fu Wang [father king] sent me to the Central Plains on official business, did you know that?”

“Yes,” Chen Jinnan replied.

Zheng Keshuang said, “If you did, why didn’t you come earlier to escort, serve and protect me?”

Chen Jinnan said, “Subordinate has several urgent matters to be dealt with, I was unable to spare the time for a separate task, please Er Gongzi excuse me. Subordinate also knew that Feng Dage is coming along to serve by your side, Feng Dage’s divine skill is unequalled, the crowd of lowly people are afraid and succumb to him, he would be able to protect Er Gongzi safe and sound through and through.”

“Humph,” Zheng Keshuang snorted; he angrily said, “When I came to Tian Di Hui, why are the shrimp soldiers and crab generals[1], and a skulk of foxes, a pack of dogs under your commands very rude to me?”

Chen Jinnan said, “Presumably they did not know Er Gongzi. In this area around the Capital, what we are doing is a rebellion against the Tatars, everybody is particularly cautious and prudent, to such an extent as to neglect etiquette. Subordinate hereby apologizes.”

The more Wei Xiaobao listened, the angrier he was. “Why is Shifu this polite to this stinky fellow?” he mused.

Zheng Keshuang said, “By giving me all kinds of excuses, you are actually saying that I was wrong?”

“I do not dare!” Chen Jinnan said.

And then Wei Xiaobao heard the rustling of paper. Zheng Keshuang said, “This is Fu Wang’s written order, read it.”

“Yes,” Chen Jinnan said, “Wangye’s order says: ‘The order of Yan Ping Jun Wang of the Great Ming: I am sending Zheng Keshuang to the Central Plain on official business, for anything beneficial to the country, he may act at his own discretion’.”

“What does ‘act at his own discretion’ means?” Zheng Keshuang asked.

Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, “It simply means don’t ever suffer any loss; what’s so difficult about it? Your old man is telling you to stand up and need not be polite.”

Who would have thought that Chen Jinnan actually replied, “Wangye is instructing Er Gongzi that in all matters that benefit our country, you may forego reporting back to Wangye, and act at your own discretion.”

Zheng Keshuang asked, “Will you submit to Fu Wang’s written order or not?”

“Wangye’s written order, naturally I will comply,” Chen Jinnan replied.

“Very well,” Zheng Keshuang said, “Cut your own right arm.”

Chen Jinnan was startled. “But why?” he asked.

Zheng Keshuang coldly said, “In your eyes there is no master, you do not revere me, which means you do not revere Fu Wang. I’ll say from your conduct and deeds, you do not have the heart of a loyal subject. Humph, in the Central Plains you strive to cultivate your own power, to expand Tian Di Hui, where’s your concern for the Zheng Family of Taiwan? You are thinking of making yourself king, aren’t you?”

Chen Jinnan’s voice trembled, “Subordinate has never had that thought,” he said.

“Humph! Never had that thought?” Zheng Keshuang said, “At the Hejian Prefecture congress this time, they elected me as the Mengzhu of Fujian province; did you know that?”

“Yes,” Chen Jinnan replied, “It was because the heroes throughout the world respect Wangye for his loyalty in working for the country.”

“How many provinces’ Mengzhu does your Tian Di Hui have?” Zheng Keshuang asked. Chen Jinnan was silent.

“Damn it,” Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, “Turns out the reason this fellow is throwing a fit is because he had drunk Tian Di Hui’s vinegar [i.e. jealous].” He also mused, “My wife’s lover [orig. male adulterer] is my Shifu’s superior; previously, it was a bit troublesome. Now those two people are in conflict; this is wonderful. It’s just that Shifu has already fallen under their plot and is injured, I must prevent him from being killed by them.”

He heard Zheng Keshuang said in loud voice, “Your Tian Di Hui has three provinces’ Mengzhu, while I only have Fujian, one province. Compared to your Tian Di Hui, how much does my Zheng Family worth? I am only a tiny Fujian Province’s Mengzhu, but you are the Central Military Strategist of the ‘Weeding-out the Traitors Alliance’. Don’t you realize you are crawling over my head? How can there be Fu Wang in your heart?”

“Er Gongzi, please reflect carefully,” Chen Jinnan said, “Subordinate founded the Tian Di Hui under the order of the late Guoxing Ye [Koxinga] with the purpose of driving off the Tatars. Tian Di Hui is an integral part of Wangye, there is no distinction between what’s ours and what’s Wangye’s. In all Tian Di Hui’s affairs, subordinate always report everything to Wangye.”

With a cold laugh Zheng Keshuang said, “Your Tian Di Hui only knows Chen Jinnan, how could they know there is still Zheng Family of Taiwan? Supposing Tian Di Hui succeeded in expelling the Tatars, the ruler of this world would be you, Chen Jinnan, not any of our Zheng family.”

Chen Jinnan said, “What Er Gongzi just said is not right. After we drive off the Tatars, together we will present the Great Ming royal family’s descendant surnamed Zhu to be the ruler.”

“Your speech is beautiful,” Zheng Keshuang said, “This moment you do not have surnamed Zheng in your eyes at all, how can you have surnamed Zhu in your eyes in the future? I want you to break your own arm, you simply don’t want to obey my command. This time I came from Hejian Prefecture, along the way I met with not a few calamities, yet I did not see a single soldier a single troop from Tian Di Hui coming to protect me. If not for Feng Shifu striving to save me, I don’t know if by this time I was still alive. You are eager to see my demise; if that’s your desire, then already death cannot wipe out your crimes. Humph, you can only lick my Gege’s behind, you don’t usually have me in your eyes.”

Chen Jinnan said, “Da Gongzi [big/first young master], Er Gongzi are brothers, subordinate serve both the same; how could I dare to be partial?”

Zheng Keshuang said, “Someday my Gege will be the Wangye. How can we, brothers, be the same in your eyes?”

Listening to this point, Wei Xiaobao understood for the most part. He mused, “This fellow is struggling over the Wangye position with his Gege, he is blaming Shifu for supporting his Gege. With Feng Xifan’s instigation, he is trying to get rid of my Shifu.”

He heard Zheng Keshuang continued, “Your power in the Central Plains is so big anyway, it would be better for you to just kill me.”

Chen Jinnan said, “Er Gongzi confronts me like this, it’s hard for subordinate to explain. Why don’t we go back to Taiwan? We’ll see Wangye, and heard what Wangye has to say. If Wangye wants to kill me, how can I dare to disobey?”

“Humph,” Zheng Keshuang snorted, seemingly at a loss on how to answer him. He was afraid to have direct confrontation with Chen Jinnan in front of his father.

Feng Xifan coldly said, “I am afraid as soon as Mr. Chen leave this place, if you don’t surrender to the Tatars and betray Er Gongzi, then you’d fly your banner on a solitary tree, declaring yourself as the king, and will no longer return to Taiwan.”

Chen Jinnan angrily said, “Just now you attacked sneakily and injured me, was it under Wangye’s command? Where is Wangye’s written order?”

Fengxifan said, “Wangye’s written order says that in the Central Plains Er Gongzi is to act at his discretion. You don’t accept Er Gongzi’s order, that means you are rebelling against Wangye, everybody has the right to punish you.”

Chen Jinnan said, “Er Gongzi is perfectly all right, it is you who sow dissension. Guoxing Ye began the undertaking with great hardship and has succeeded in establishing good foundation. I am afraid it will be ruined in the hands of lowly, treacherous people like you. Although you, surnamed Feng, have unparalleled martial art skill under the heavens, do you think I am afraid of you?”

Feng Xifan sternly said, “So, you are blatantly rebelling against the Yan Ping Wang Mansion?”

In a loud and clear voice Chen Jinnan said, “I, Chen Yonghua, have a red-bellied devotion to Wangye. The word ‘rebel’ should never be slandered against me.”

Zheng Keshuang shouted, “Chen Yonghua is rebelling, arrest him!”

“Yes,” Feng Xifan complied.

And then a series of ‘clang, clang’ was heard as the weapons collided with each other; the three of them began to fight. Chen Jinnan called out, “Er Gongzi, please move aside, subordinate cannot fight with you.”

“You cannot fight with me? You cannot fight with me?” Zheng Keshuang asked the question twice, his weapon also rang twice. Apparently with each question he hacked his blade toward Chen Jinnan once.

Wei Xiaobao was greatly anxious; quietly he raised the coffin lid about a cun so that he could look out. He saw Zheng Keshuang and Feng Xifan attacked Chen Jinnan from left and right. Chen Jinnan held the sword with his left hand, while his right arm drooped down with blood constantly trickling to the ground from the wound inflicted by Feng Xifan’s sneak attack earlier.

Feng Xifan’s sword moved extremely fast, Chen Jinnan resisted with everything he had. Zheng Keshuang swept his blade across repeatedly, chopping and hacking, but Chen Jinnan did not dare to parry, he was only dodging here and there. Very soon he fell into the situation where he could only take a beating without being able to strike back. Moreover, he moved the sword with his left hand awkwardly, while the wound on his right arm was clearly not light.

Wei Xiaobao was anxious, “Where are Feng Jizhong, Guan Fuzi, Qian Laoben, and the others? How come not even one come to help? If this fight continues, Shifu will definitely be killed by them.” But the outside was very quiet, the clay-walled shed was noisy with ‘bing, bing, bang, bang’ of the fierce battle, but unexpectedly the outside seemed to be turning a deaf ear.

He saw Feng Xifan thrust his sword swiftly forward, a powerful strike, Chen Jinnan raised his sword to block, two swords immediately stuck together. Zheng Keshuang waved his saber in diagonal chop, Chen Jinnan leaned sideways to evade. Zheng Keshuang’s saber swept across, ‘rip’ he made a long cut on Chen Jinnan’s left leg.

“Ah!” Chen Jinnan cried out; the sword in his hand jerked upward. Feng Xifan seized this opportunity to thrust his sword forward and hit Chen Jinnan’s left shoulder.

Chen Jinnan was drenched in blood as he fought desperately; it was hard for him to stay standing, step by step he moved toward the door, with the intention of rushing out to make his escape. Feng Xifan understood his intention, he rushed toward the door first. “Rebellious thief,” he said with a cold laugh, “You are still thinking of escaping today?”

Wei Xiaobao was hoping Feng Xifan would walk toward the coffin, so that he could thrust his dagger through the coffin and kill him just like the way he killed the lama at the inn. This move, called ‘stabbing people from behind partition board’ [ge ban ci ren], was his entire life’s special skill, it far surpassed the martial art master’s special skill ‘striking ox from behind the mountain’ [ge shan da niu]. But Feng Xifan was fighting farther and farther away, how could he stab him?

---

[1] In mythology or popular fiction, the army of the Dragon King or the Eastern Sea. It simply means ‘useless troops’.

[foxs]

“Rebellious thief,” Zheng Keshuang shouted, “Still not throwing down your sword and letting your hands be bound?”

Seeing how critical the situation was, Wei Xiaobao decided that even if he had to lose his life today, he had to save his shifu. Tightening up his throat, he made three loud ‘zhi, zhi, zhi’ noise.

(Book note: Zheng Chenggong [real name of Koxinga] fathered Zheng Jing and the others, ten people. Zheng Jing became the Ming Dynasty’s Yan Ping Jun Wang during the first year of Kangxi’s reign. He fathered Zheng Keshang, Zheng Keshuang, and the others, eight people. Keshang was the oldest, born of a concubine, and was Chen Yonghua’s son-in-law. Later on he became the Jian Guo [country supervisor] heir apparent. The second son Keshuang became Feng Xifan’s son-in-law. When Zheng Keshang succeeded the throne, he was barely twelve years old. Our book has these matters only as background, their age are increased considerably, hence there are discrepancies with historical fact.)

When Feng Xifan and the others, three people heard it, they were startled. “What is it?” Zheng Keshuang asked. Feng Xifan shook his head, but his hand did not slow down the least bit. Wei Xiaobao cried ‘zhi, zhi, zhi’ again three times. Zheng Keshuang was afraid of ghost, he was trembling with fear. Suddenly he saw the coffin lid opened, a burst of white dust flew out. Immediately the three of them felt their eyes were burning, while an unbearably pungent smells assaulting their noses.

What happened was that usually before the body was entered into the coffin, the coffin would be lined with a large quantity of lime. When Gao Yanchao purchased the coffin, it was already loaded. This moment Wei Xiaobao grabbed a handful of lime and scattered it out. Feng Xifan knew it was not demon or ghost, he quickly jumped over with closed eyes, and leaned forward to thrust his sword into the coffin. ‘Pop!’ the tip of the sword stabbed the coffin’s lid; while he was about to pull the sword to stab again, suddenly he felt pain on the right side of his chest. He knew he had fallen into the enemy’s trick; hastily he leaped back to evade, but his back heavily crashed onto the wall. His martial art skill was superb, with his left hand pressed against the wound on his chest, he brandished the sword in his right hand so that ‘wind and rain could not penetrate’, as a shield in front of his body.

It was actually Wei Xiaobao from inside the coffin launching his move ‘stabbing people from behind partition board’. As soon as his attack succeeded, he leaped out of the coffin, clenching the dagger tightly in his hand. He saw Feng Xifan, Zheng Keshuang and Chen Jinnan, three people, were brandishing their saber and swords randomly with their eyes closed tight. He noticed that although Feng Xifan was hit by his dagger, it was not a fatal wound. He wanted to seize the opportunity and gave him another stab, but Feng and Zheng, two people moved their sword and saber in a very tight formation. He really did not dare to recklessly charge forward. The timing was critical, if he waited too long, those two would have wiped the lime from their eyes, and if they could see, it would be really bad for him. Without any definite plan, he simply grabbed another handful of lime, and as soon as he saw either Feng Xifan or Zheng Keshuang moved to wipe their eyes, he would simply scatter the lime onto them. Scattering the lime was another special skill in which he was an expert.

After only throwing several times, Feng Xifan had already figured out the direction of the lime; with the move ‘thirsty horse rushing to the spring’ he thrust this sword straight forward. Wei Xiaobao was greatly shocked; hastily he ducked down. ‘Pop!’ the sword pierced the coffin. Wei Xiaobao crawled and rolled away toward the door.

Feng Xifan raised his sword and hacked down on the coffin several times, he still thought the enemy was inside. Actually, based on his martial art cultivation, he would have detected Wei Xiaobao’s extremely clumsy exit immediately, but because his eyes were suddenly blinded and his chest wounded, for a moment his mind was in disorder. Moreover, he knew Chen Jinnan’s martial art was extraordinary, not inferior to his own at all; with a powerful enemy on the side, his situation was incomparably treacherous. In his fright, he did not realize that Chen Jinnan’s eyes were also blinded. He only wished to kill the enemy who attacked him sneakily, and made a quick escape.

After stabbing the coffin several times, he felt that he was piercing an empty coffin. With a move ‘thousand rocks vying to be the most beautiful’, the tip of his sword stabbed in a flower pattern to shield around his body. He heard to his left there was no sound of weapons splitting the air, immediately he leaped to the left. As soon as his shoulder bumped onto the wall, he stood leaning against the wall. Because of this excessive use of strength, the wound on his chest was bleeding profusely.

He tried to open his eyes a slit, the lime immediately entered his eyes, the pain was difficult to bear. Afraid that he might be blind permanently, he did not dare to open his eyes anymore. With his back against the wall he moved step-by-step, thinking that as long as he followed the wall, he would eventually find the door; as soon as he was out, the terrain would be spacious, then he would have a better chance of escaping.

Wei Xiaobao was standing at the door. Seeing Feng Xifan started to move, he knew his intention; Wei Xiaobao wanted to wait until he reached the door and then give him a stab, but remembering this man’s martial art skill was too high, even if he succeeded in stabbing him, at the point of death he might strike with his sword, and then Wei Xiaobao’s little life would inevitably be in danger. Thereupon he quietly inserted his dagger about two cun into the doorframe. Seeing Feng Xifan was no more than two chi from the door, he suddenly called out in shrill voice, “I am he …”

Before the word ‘here’ left his lips, Feng Xifan had already moved very fast. His sword slashed down, ‘dang!’ the sword met the dagger, and broke into two. The other half flew up and slash Feng Xifan’s forehead before falling down to the ground. Wei Xiaobao had already hidden by the clay-walled shed with his heart thumping wildly.

He heard Feng Xifan’s roar and saw him dashing out. Wei Xiaobao returned to the door and saw Chen Jinnan and Zheng Keshuang were still brandishing their sword and saber randomly. With the powerful enemy gone, he did not care much about the Second Young Master of the Zheng Family. “Shifu,” he called out, “I have chopped that ‘One Sword without Blood’ so that now his entire body is full of blood; he has already escaped without a trace. Please come out.”

Chen Jinnan was startled. “Who is it?” he asked.

Wei Xiaobao replied, “It’s your disciple Xiaobao.”

Chen Jinnan was greatly delighted; he held the sword across his chest, no longer brandished it.

Wei Xiaobao called out, “Zhang Dage, Li Erge, Wang Sange, you have arrived! Very good, very good! This stinky fellow surnamed Zheng has not put down his weapon and surrendered, let’s come together and chop him down into pieces!”

Zheng Keshuang was shocked; he did not know that Wei Xiaobao was bluffing. “Shifu, Shifu!” he called out. But did not hear Feng Xifan’s replying. After slight hesitation, he tossed his saber aside.

“Kneel down!” Wei Xiaobao shouted. Zheng Keshuang bent his knees and kneeled on the ground. Wei Xiaobao laughed aloud. He picked up the saber and lightly pressed it against Zheng Keshuang’s throat. “Stand up!” he shouted, “Turned right, walked three steps, crawl up, get in!”

For each sentence Wei Xiaobao shouted, Zheng Keshuang followed his order, trembling with fear, until finally he crawled into the coffin. Wei Xiaobao laughed aloud, stepped forward, and pushed the coffin lid. He picked up the bundle of the sutra and slung it over his shoulder. “Shifu,” he said, “Let’s quickly wash your eyes.” Pulling Chen Jinnan’s hand, he led him out of the clay-walled shed.

They only walked for seven, eight steps when he saw Gao Yanchao lying by the flower terrace. Wei Xiaobao was startled, and rushed forward to help him up.

Gao Yanchao said, “Helping Zongduozhu is more important, subordinate only have my acupoints sealed, otherwise I am fine.” Chen Jinnan stooped down and massaged his back and his waist for a moment, the acupoints were immediately opened.

“What happened to Zongduozhu’s eyes?” Gao Yanchao asked.

“Lime,” Chen Jinnan replied.

“We must wash it with vegetable oil,” Gao Yanchao said, “Don’t use water.” Pulling Chen Jinnan’s hand, he quickly walked back to the house.

“I’ll be right there,” Wei Xiaobao said. He returned to the clay-walled shed, picked up the axe, and pounded seven, eight nails into the coffin’s lid. “Zheng Gongzi,” he said, “Just lay down and rest for several days. Consider yourself lucky, the ten thousand taels you owe me, I write off at one stroke, you don’t have to pay it back.” With another laugh he walked back into the main hall.

He saw Gao Yanchao had finished washing the lime off Chen Jinnan’s eyes with vegetable oil; he had also tended the injury on Chen Jinnan’s body. Feng Jizhong, Qian Laoben, Priest Xuanzhen, and the others were lying across the floor of the main hall, Chen Jinnan was in the process of unsealing everybody’s acupoints.

Turned out Feng Xifan launched a surprise attack. Not only his martial art skill was high, he also caught everybody off-guard. Before Feng Jizhong and the others were able to pull themselves together, he had already sealed their acupoints one by one. They were extremely enraged, but in front of the Zongduozhu they did not dare to curse.

Gao Yanchao told them how by using a trick Wei Xiaobao managed to inflict heavy damage to Feng Xifan; immediately everybody was in high spirit. They said that since that servant was so crafty and evil, they hoped that the lime would blind his eyes permanently.

Chen Jinnan’s eyes were still red and swollen, tears still streaming down his face. With a serious expression he said, “Qian Xiongdi, Gao Xiongdi, go wash the lime from Zheng Er Gongzi’s eyes, and invite him here.” Qian and Gao, two people complied.

“Ah!” suddenly Wei Xiaobao cried out and pretended to faint, his eyes were tightly shut.

Chen Jinnan reached out with his left hand to held Wei Xiaobao’s arm. “What happened?” he asked.

Wei Xiaobao said, “I … I was … scared … scared really bad just now, I was afraid they were going to kill Shifu … now … now my limbs feel weak …”

Chen Jinnan lifted him up and sat him on a chair. “Just rest for a moment,” he said.

What happened was: Wei Xiaobao knew that scattering lime on people’s eyes was a really low act; for this very reason Mao Shiba had given him a good beating in the past. Although the other warriors praised him for his resourcefulness, he thought that as his subordinates, naturally they wanted to flatter him. Shifu was a great hero, great warrior, ten times more so than Mao Shiba, he would surely give him a serious criticism. Thus Wei Xiaobao might as well pretend to faint in front of him, so that he would not punish him, or even if he did, he would be somewhat lenient.

Qian and Gao, two people rushed into the hall in a hurry; they said, “Zongduozhu, we did not find Zheng Er Gongzi; he must have left.”

Chen Jinnan frowned. “He left?” he asked, “And not in the coffin?”

Qian and Gao, two people looked at each other in dismay. There was indeed a coffin in the clay-walled shed, but how could the Second Young Master of the Zheng Family be in it?

“Let’s go take a look,” Chen Jinnan said. He led everybody toward the clay-walled shed.

Wei Xiaobao was greatly anxious, he had no choice but to follow them. His hands rubbed his own buttocks while saying in his heart, “My buttocks, oh my buttocks, if Shifu heard that I forced that stinky fellow into the coffin, you, my old friend, will unavoidably receive several flogging; I am truly sorry.”

When they got to the clay-walled shed, they saw the floor was covered with lime and blood, but indeed neither Zheng Keshuang’s body nor his shadow was around. Chen Jinnan clearly heard Wei Xiaobao forcing Zheng Keshuang to enter the coffin, but at this moment the coffin lid was firmly nailed down. His suspicion arose. “Xiaobao,” he asked, “Did you nail Zheng Er Gongzi inside the coffin?”

Seeing Shifu’s ill expression, Wei Xiaobao hummed and hawed. “I did not,” he said, “Perhaps he was afraid Shifu would kill him, he nailed himself inside the coffin.”

“Rubbish!” Chen Jinnan shouted, “Quickly open the coffin, don’t let him die of suffocation. Hurry, hurry!”

Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao picked up the axe and chisel, and busily pried the coffin nails out. When they opened the lid, sure enough there was someone lying inside.

“Er Gongzi!” Chen Jinnan called out, and reached into the coffin to help the person up.

“Ah!” when everybody saw the person, they all cried out in alarm. Chen Jinnan quickly let go and retreated two steps back. The person fell back into the coffin.

“It’s Guan Fuzi!” everybody shouted in one voice. In that split second, everybody was able to see clearly that the person in the coffin was indeed Guan Anji.

Chen Jinnan rushed forward to hold him up again, they saw Guan Anji’s eyes were wide open, but he had already met a violent death. His body was still warm though, apparently he had not died long. The people were shocked and grieved. Feng Jizhong, Priest Xuanzhen, and the others jumped outside, but did not see any trace of the enemy.

Chen Jinnan untied Guan Anji’s robe, and saw a blood red hand print on his chest. “Feng Xifan!” he said in choked voice.

Priest Xuanzhen angrily said, “It is definitely Feng Xifan! This red sand palm is his Kunlun Pai’s unique martial art skill. After suffering serious injury, that evil thief must have circled around a moment later. It’s really … damn it, it’s alright if he wanted to save Zheng Er Gongzi, but why did he have to kill Guan Erge?”

Everybody cursed in rage. Guan Anji’s brother-in-law, Jia Laoliu’s [Ol’ Six Jia] cry shook the heavens and the earth. In his grief Chen Jinnan was silent.

They returned to the hall. Qian Laoben said, “Zongduozhu, we all know about Er Gongzi and Da Gongzi’s struggle over the Wangye position. Our Tian Di Hui has always been impartial in this matter; Da Gongzi is older, naturally we support Da Gongzi. Er Gongzi has always considered you as a nail in his eyes, this time he received Feng Xifan’s instigation, and was thinking of seizing this opportunity to get rid of you. Today we have offended Er Gongzi. I am afraid Wangye might believe their slanderous report. Hereafter Zongduozhu cannot return to Taiwan anymore.”

Chen Jinnan sighed and said, “Guoxing Ye’s benevolence to me was very heavy, even with torn body and crushed bones it would be difficult for me to repay his kindness. Wangye has always been wise, plus he is very respectful toward me; he can’t possibly harm a loyal and good person.”

Priest Xuanzhen said, “As the saying goes: distant relation cannot separate flesh and blood relation. Er Gongzi has already determined that our Tian Di Hui refuses to follow Taiwan’s order. If even in the Central Plains he was already like this, would he give you any leeway in Taiwan? Their Zheng Family has altogether eight Gongzi, everybody is fighting everybody else to seize the power, our Tian Di Hui does not need to be involved. Zongduozhu, while it’s true that we are not Qin Hui, but we are definitely not Yue Fei either[1].”

Qian Laoben said, “Zongduozhu is loyal and devoted, and has always served the Zheng Family all your life, yet you were nearly killed by Er Gongzi; no matter what we cannot simply swallow this matter.”

Chen Jinnan sighed again and said, “A real man’s conduct has a clear conscience against the heaven and the earth, whatever other people say, long or short, has nothing to do with him. It’s just that I have never imagined such misfortune would befall us. Just now if it were not for Xiaobao’s resourcefulness, we all would die a violent death … ay, it’s a pity Guan Erge …”

Wei Xiaobao was relieved to hear that his shifu would not investigate the scattering of lime and the nailing of the coffin. Afraid that it was merely a momentary lapse of memory, he decided to change the subject immediately. “We have made quite some noise,” he said, “I am afraid all next door neighbors have heard it; if they report to the authorities, I am afraid … I am afraid … We must move immediately.”

“Absolutely,” Chen Jinnan said, “My mind is in turmoil, unexpectedly I haven’t thought about it.”

Right away they all went back to the garden to dig a hole and bury Guan Anji’s body. After shedding more tears and kowtowing, they carried their belongings out and left immediately. The Tian Di Hui warriors were constantly on the move around the Capital, moving their residence was a common occurrence. Wei Xiaobao was afraid his Shifu would ask him about his martial art training, he took the opportunity to take his leave and return to the Imperial Palace.

Back at his residence, he bolted the door, and opened the six copies of sutra one by one. Indeed he saw a lot of sheepskin pieces in between the cover of the sutras. He took out the pieces and stitched the cover back to its original state. But after stitching the cover of less than one book he already fed up with it; he thought, “It would be best if Shuang’er is here. Right this moment she is most likely still outside Shaolin Temple waiting for me. I was captured by Shifu Jiu Nan, this good servant girl must be extremely worried. I must send someone to tell her to come here.” Sewing several stitches later, his eyes grew very heavy; he hid the sutra well and fell asleep.

Early in the morning the next day he went to the Upper Study Room to wait upon the Emperor. Kangxi said, “I am going to issue an imperial decree tomorrow, sending you to escort Princess Jianning to Yunnan, to be married to that little b@stard surnamed Wu.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “It’s just a pity that I have not served Your Majesty for several days and I will have to be far away from you.”

---

[1] Yue Fei (1102-1142), Song Dynasty’s patriot and fames general. Qin Hui (1090-1155), Song Dynasty official who betrayed General Yue Fei and had him executed.

[foxs]

Kangxi lowered his voice and said, “The Empress Dowager has told me a very important matter. This time you go to Yunnan, you may try to take this opportunity to work on it.” Wei Xiaobao complied.

Kangxi continued, “The Empress Dowager said, that evil maid servant impersonating the Empress Dowager, actually it was part of a great conspiracy: her mission was to find the location of our Manchu’s dragon vein, and try to find a way to break it.”

Wei Xiaobao blurted out without thinking, “That old wh0re’s crime is great, her evil extreme!” But then he hastily covered his mouth, realizing that he had cursed with vulgar language in front of the Emperor, unavoidably it was too disrespectful.

Who would have thought that Kangxi did not give it the slightest thought? “Correct!” he responded, “That old wh0re is indeed not a ‘thing’. The Empress Dowager had to endure disgrace and endure suffering, she would rather die than reveal the secret; only by doing that did the old wh0re’s evil scheme fail. With the Heaven’s blessing therefore the Empress Dowager is safe and sound until today, and has been able to hold on without revealing this big secret.”

Wei Xiaobao already knew the secret early on, but he said, “Your Majesty, it would be best if you do not tell me this huge secret. One more person knows about it, the danger that the secret will leak also increases by one part.”

Kangxi praised him, “You are making good progress; you understand that in everything we must be cautious. However, since the first time you work for me, you have never leaked anything. If I can’t even trust you, I can trust nobody else.”

Wei Xiaobao felt that the several hundred bones in his body, each bone was several taels several qians lighter. He kneeled down and kowtowed, while saying, “Your Majesty trust me this much, even if your servant’s tongue is cut, I will not dare to divulge half a word of what Your Majesty is going to tell me.”

Kangxi nodded; he said, “The secret of our Great Qing’s dragon vein is actually hidden in the eight copies of the ‘Forty-two-chapter Sutra’.”

Wei Xiaobao pretended to be astonished; he repeatedly said, “Ah, strange, is there such thing? It’s absolutely unthinkable!”

Kangxi continued, “After the Shezheng Wangye [master king regent] entered the pass, he bestowed eight copies of sutra to the Eight Banners’ Banner Commander. Within the Eight Banners, the troops and horses of Plain Yellow, Plain White and Bordered Yellow, three banners are under the command of the Son of Heaven. But the farmland and material belongings of these three banners are still the Banner Commanders’ responsibility. The Plain Yellow Banner’s copy has always been in Fu Huang’s [father emperor] possession, which he took with him to Mount Wutai. Later on he sent you to bring it back and bestowed it to me. Because the Bordered White Banner’s Banner Commander committed a crime, the Bordered White Banner’s sutra ended up in the Palace, and Fu Huang bestowed it to Empress Duan Jing.”

Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, “The Old Emperor doted on Empress Duan Jing; naturally he wanted to give the best thing to her. If it were me, if all eight copies ended up in the Palace, I would bestow all to her.”

Kangxi continued, “The old wh0re murdered Empress Duan Jing, naturally she took hold of her sutra. Oboi was the Bordered Yellow Banner’s Banner Commander. When I sent you to search and seize Oboi’s home that day, the old wh0re wanted you to find two sutras, one was precisely the Bordered Yellow Banner’s, the other was Plain White Banner’s.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “If I had known the old wh0re was bad, your servant would have reported to the old wh0re that I could not find it, and quietly presented the sutras to Your Majesty.”

Kangxi laughed and said, “At that time we did not know that the old wh0re was a fake Empress Dowager; we also did not know that there is such great responsibility inside the ‘Forty-two-chapter Sutra’. If you were fooling around like that, I would have … I would have flogged your buttocks.”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said. In his heart he said, “Flogging my buttocks and that’s it? You don’t need to be polite!” He asked, “The Plain White Banner’s copy, I wonder where did Oboi get it from?”

Kangxi said, “He has killed the Plain White Banner’s Banner Commander Suksaha, and seized his family property, his belongings, including his copy of sutra. Humph, even death cannot wipe out that rebel’s crimes.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “In that case, the old wh0re had three copies in her hands.”

“Only three?” Kangxi said, “She also sent the Deputy Chief of Imperial Bodyguards Rui Dong to make things difficult for the Bordered Red Banner’s Banner Commander Hechabo. At that time I did not know the reason, that fellow Hechabo had always been in collusion with Oboi, so I did not pay him any attention. Now that I think about it, naturally it was to seize his copy of the sutra. And then Rui Dong mysteriously disappeared; the old wh0re must have killed him to close his mouth.”

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Your Majesty can see things like a deity [i.e. prophecy with supernatural accuracy; you will see shortly why I kept the literal translation].” While in his heart he said, “You are convinced that Rui Dong was killed by the old wh0re, hence I praised you that you can see things like a deity; that is striking a nail on one foot. If in the future you find out that Rui Dong was killed by me, you cannot go back on your word by questioning me. Otherwise, you are acknowledging that you cannot see things like a deity. In your capacity as the Emperor, how can you see things not like a deity, but like a demon?”

Kangxi said, “But if my guess is incorrect …”

Wei Xiaobao busily said, “Definitely correct.”

Kangxi said, “… the old wh0re had four copies of sutra in her hands. But there is one very strange thing: Fu Huang bestowed to me that copy of the Plain Yellow Banner’s sutra, all along I put it on the table in the Upper Study Room, but suddenly it disappeared. You think who has such a nerve to brazenly come to the Upper Study Room and steal something?”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Can come and go the Upper Study Room, and have guts to take a book without permission, only … only …”

“Princess Jianning!” Kangxi said.

Wei Xiaobao did not dare to interrupt; he mused, “This time indeed you can see things like a deity.”

Kangxi said, “The old wh0re sent her daughter to steal my copy of the sutra. In that case, she had five copies in her hands.”

“Let us quickly go to the Palace of Compassionate and Peaceful to search,” Wei Xiaobao said, “The old wh0re was running away out of the Palace empty-handed, she did not bring anything.” While his heart was pounding madly, “If this moment the Emperor search my room, even if Xiao Guizi has a hundred heads, all will be chopped down.”

Kangxi shook his head, “I have already searched carefully,” he said, “I could not find anything. I only found a monk robe. The old wh0re’s good friend was actually a monk. Ha ha, ha ha …!”

Wei Xiaobao started to laugh, but after only two ‘ha’s, he felt it was extremely rude, so he hastily stopped laughing. Kangxi was still laughing heartily, however, as he said, “It’s just that when that short winter melon ran away, carrying the old wh0re with him, I saw that he had long hair, hence I was surprised. Most likely he was like that palace maid impersonator, his hair was fake. That fellow was short and fat; the old wh0re’s man was not a good steal, why did she look for such a short winter melon?”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “That short winter melon’s martial art skill was very high. If he was handsome, he might not necessarily have the ability to sneak into the Palace. Last time that fake palace maid was also very ugly.”

Kangxi laughed and said, “You got that right.” After a short pause, he said, “The other three copies of the sutra are in the hands of Plain Red Banner, Plain Blue Banner, and Bordered Blue Banner, three Banners’ possession. The current Plain Red Banner’s Banner Commander is Prince Kang, I have already ordered him to present the sutra to me.”

Wei Xiaobao thought, “That night someone stole Prince Kang’s sutra, and right now it is in my possession; how can Prince Kang present it to the Emperor? This time that Ol’ Kang will be a deep trouble.”

Kangxi continued, “The Plain Blue Banner’s Banner Commander Fu Deng is still young. Just now I asked him, he said that his predecessor, the Banner Commander Jia Kun died during the assault of Yunnan; the funeral arrangement was taken over by Wu Sangui. What Wu Sangui handed over to him was an official seal, several army banners, and several tens of thousands taels of silver. Other than that, there was nothing else.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “The sutra must be embezzled by Wu Sangui.”

“That’s right,” Kangxi said, “For that reason, when you get to Wu Sangui’s mansion, carefully investigate this matter, think of a way to get the sutra. That servant Wu Sangui is very crafty, you must never let him know the inside story.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Your servant will act according to the situation, will attempt to swindle him to come out.”

Kangxi knitted his brows, he paced back and forth in the Upper Study Room. “The Banner Commander of the Bordered Blue Banner, Eshuokeha is a big muddled egg, I told him to present the sutra to me, unexpectedly he said that it disappeared a few years ago. I dispatched Imperial Bodyguards to his home to search, no trace. I have already sent him to Tian Lao [lit. heaven prison], and have the people interrogate and torture him well. I want to know whether it was really stolen or did he hide it and unwilling to turn it in.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Perhaps the old wh0re sent someone to embezzle it; I wonder if it was seized by force or was stolen in secret.” He thought, “I am not slandering the old wh0re; the person who seized it by force or stole it in secret was most likely the short winter melon.” He added, “Supposing these six copies were obtained by the old wh0re, when all is said and done, where are they?” As soon as he said that, he felt a slight remorse, “I said it wrong,” he mused, “I suffer too much losses. I said it was the old wh0re who obtained the six copies of the sutra, while the one who has six copies of the sutra is actually Wei Xiaobao. Won’t that mean I am the old wh0re?”

Kangxi said, “Actually, what is the old wh0re’s background? At this moment we do not have any clue. She managed this important matter, there must be someone she conspired with. After she obtained the sutra, she must have smuggled it out of the Palace one by one. I am afraid it will be extremely difficult to recover all those six copies of sutra. Fortunately the Empress Dowager said that to find the Great Qing’s Dragon Vein location, one must have all eight copies in one’s possession. Even if someone obtained seven copies, as long as one copy is lacking, all seven will be useless. We only have to have the two copies in Prince Kang and Wu Sangui’s hands and destroy them, and then there will be peace and security without any trouble. We do not want to find the Dragon Vein; as long as nobody else finds it, that will be enough. It’s just that I lost the sutra Fu Huang bestowed to me; if henceforth I cannot find it back, I am really unfilial. Humph, Princess Jianning, that little … little …”

Kangxi could not finish his cursing, in his heart Wei Xiaobao was finishing it for him, “Little wh0re!”

Right this moment, however, in his heart Kangxi was recalling the admonition given by Shunzhi in the meditation room at the Jing’e Temple of Mount Wutai: “My son, you are astute and competent, you cherish common people; you are a much stronger emperor than I was. There is a map hidden in those eight copies of ‘Forty-two-chapter Sutra’, it’s a map to an enormous hidden treasure. When our Eight Banners’ troops entered the pass, they plundered gold, silver, money and valuables everywhere they went in the Central Plains, and hid everything in this treasure trove. The Eight Banners have equal share on this treasure trove; therefore, the map was divided into eight parts, and were distributed to the Eight Banners, so that no single banner can keep everything for themselves. The Han people inside the pass is a hundred times more numerous than us, Manchu people; if they rose up in rebellion simultaneously, we are absolutely unable to suppress it. At that time, we have no choice but to return outside the pass, open up the treasure-trove, divide the treasure equally among the Eight Banners, and henceforth we won’t have to worry not to have enough food and warm clothes for the next several years.”

Kangxi recalled that at that time his father emperor asked Wei Xiaobao to bring back these words: ‘In the matters of the world, he must let nature take its course, nothing can be forced. It would be best if he could benefit the common people of the Central Plains. But if the common people wanted us to leave, then from the place we came, there we should come back to.’ He also heard Shunzhi saying, ‘That our Manchurian Qing is able to conquer the land under heaven, it is solely by the Will of Heaven; in this matter, we are really lucky. We cannot harbor the thought that we will stay in the Central Plains for a long time; we must not let Manchu people destroy everything inside the Pass, because then a single horse will not be able to go beyond the Pass.”

With his mouth Kangxi repeatedly say ‘yes’, but in his heart he was thinking otherwise, “The great undertaking of our Great Qing in the Central Plains is getting more and more stable. From now on we ought to open up new territory and expand our lands, establishing a foundation that won’t pull out in ten thousand ages; why would we need to prepare a fallback plan? As soon as we have a fallback, it would only bring disaster. Father has left home, his heart is contented, he is standing aloof from worldly affair, no wonder he has that kind of thought.”

As expected, his father continued, “However, the Regent instructed all Banner Commanders: the fact that there is an enormous treasure buried outside the Pass must never be revealed. Otherwise, if the Manchurian kings, dukes and soldiers knew that there is a fallback plan, when the Han people revolt, they won’t be willing to risk their lives in fighting, and then our great undertaking will fail. For this reason, when the Banner Commanders pass on the sutras to the next generation, they can only say that the sutras hide a great secret concerning the Manchurian Qing’s Dragon Vein, that if the Dragon Vein is dug and broken, all the Manchurian people will die without a burial site. Hence, first, the later generation of the Eight Banners won’t get greedy and sneakily dig the treasure; second, if there is anybody trying to dig the treasure, the Eight Banners would rise together to attack, to do their utmost to stop it. Only the lord of the country one person is allowed to know the real secret.”

Thinking back about the past conversation, he had to admit, “The Regent indeed had great skill and strategy, his foresight is very true.” Casting a glance toward Wei Xiaobao, he thought, “Although Xiao Guizi is loyal, I can only tell him about the Dragon Vein, I cannot say anything about the treasure. Someday this boy will grow, there is no guarantee that he won’t be greedy. The Empress Dowager told me yesterday, when Fu Huang made up his mind to leave home, he entrusted this great secret to the Empress Dowager, telling her to wait for me to grow up, and then pass on this secret to me. The Empress Dowager was willing to bear humiliation to preserve her life was precisely for this reason. She did not know that I have already gone to Mount Wutai to see Fu Huang. But it was fortunate this way, the Empress Dowager was not killed by the old wh0re.”

Seeing Kangxi pacing back and forth, deep in thought, Wei Xiaobao suddenly had an idea, “Your Majesty,” he said, “If the old wh0re was sent by Wu Sangui to infiltrate the Palace, that means he … he has seven copies of sutra in his hand.”

Kangxi was startled; thinking that it was a great possibility. “Send in the Imperial Clothing Supervisor!” he called out.

After a while, an old eunuch entered the Study Room and kowtowed; he was the eunuch manager [orig. Zongguan] of the Imperial Clothing Supervisors. Kangxi asked, “Have you found out?”

The eunuch replied, “Reporting to Your Majesty: your servant has examined it carefully, the material of that monk robe was weaved in Beijing.”

“Hmm,” Kangxi mumbled. Wei Xiaobao understood, “The Emperor wants to know the short winter melon’s origin. The material of his clothing was manufactured in Beijing, so what? He did not find anything.”

The eunuch continued, “However, the man’s undergarment was made of Liaodong Peninsula’s cocoon silk, it was the product of Jinzhou [prefecture, Liaoning province] region.”

Kangxi’s countenance lit up; he nodded and said, “Dismissed.” The eunuch kowtowed and withdrew.

Kangxi said, “Perhaps you are right, this short winter melon may have some connection with Wu Sangui.”

“Your servant does not understand,” Wei Xiaobao said.

Kangxi explained, “Formerly Wu Sangui was guarding Shanhai Pass, Jinzhou was his territory. Perhaps this short winter melon was his former subordinate.”

“Exactly!” Wei Xiaobao happily said, “Your Majesty is brilliant, your premonition is definitely correct.”

Kangxi muttered to himself, “If the old wh0re returned to Yunnan, the danger of your trip may increase by one part. You must bring more Imperial Bodyguards, plus three thousand Valiant Cavalry sergeants.”

“Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Your Majesty, please set your heart at ease. It would be best if your servant can catch the old wh0re and the short winter melon, we can make mincemeat of them and thus venting the Empress Dowager’s anger.”

Kangxi patted Wei Xiaobao’s shoulder; he smiled and said, “If you can render this great service, and help the Empress Dowager venting her anger, hey, hey, your age is young, your official position is big, you are going to make things difficult for me. However, we are the young emperor, the young high-ranking minister, a couple of young people managed to accomplish big matters; we let those bunch of old officials be intimidated and stupefied. It’s very amusing.”

[foxs]

Wei Xiaobao said, “Although Your Majesty is young, your wisdom and foresight has already made that bunch of old ‘things’ full of admiration in their hearts. After you deal with Wu Sangui, it will be ‘before there is no such thing, after there is no one of ancient times’ [qian wu lai zhe, hou wu gu ren].”

Kangxi burst out laughing; “Damn it,” he said, “It’s ‘no one precedes, no one follows’ [qian wu gu ren, hou wu lai zhe]. You, this fellow, is clever and quick-witted, but without learning or skills, and not willing to study.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed, “Yes, yes,” he said, “When your servant has some spare time, I will study well for a few days.”

Actually, Wei Xiaobao’s uncouth and illiteracy was what made Kangxi like him more. If Kangxi wanted literate and highly educated chamberlains by his side, he could have as many as he wanted. Day in and day out he heard a lot of good poems, classical quotations and Confucius teachings. Only when talking street talk and day-to-day speech with Wei Xiaobao did he really feel carefree.

Wei Xiaobao withdrew from Kangxi presence. He had just went out of the Upper Study Room when an Imperial Bodyguard came up to him, paid him respect, and said in a low voice, “Wei Fu Zongguan [deputy chief], Prince Kang wishes to see you; he was wondering if Wei Fu Zongguan have spare time.”

“Where is Wangye?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

The Imperial Bodyguard replied, “Wangye is waiting for your reply at the Imperial Bodyguard room.”

“Has he come personally?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

“Yes, yes,” the Imperial Bodyguard replied, “He said he wanted to invite Wei Fu Zongguan to drink wine and watch the opera. He was afraid that His Majesty might have some important matter for Wei Fu Zongguan to do that you, Senior, cannot spare a moment for him.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed. “Damn it,” he said, “What ‘Senior’ am I?”

Arriving at the Imperial Bodyguard room, he saw Prince Kang with a teacup in one hand, sitting on a chair with a blank expression on his face, wrinkled eyebrows, and deep worried look. As soon as he saw Wei Xiaobao, he hastily put down the teacup, scrambled up to pull Wei Xiaobao’s hand, and said, “Xiongdi, long time no see, I miss you like crazy.”

Wei Xiaobao was fully aware that Prince Kang was looking for him because of the lost copy of sutra, but seeing he was this warm, he was quite happy. “If Wangye needs anything, you can simply send someone to let me know,” he said, “You want to bestow me with food and wine, won’t lowly officer rush over to your place? You are giving me a lot of face like this, you actually come personally to see me.”

“I have prepared an opera troupe at home,” Prince Kang said, “I was only afraid Xiongdi does not have time. Can we go now?”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Alright, since Wangye is going to bestow a dinner to me, as long as His Majesty did not send me to do anything urgent, even if my own old man died, lowly officer will have to disturb Wangye and eat your food first before doing anything else.”

The two of them left the Palace hand-in-hand, they mounted their horses and rode to the Prince’s mansion. Prince Kang entertained his guest lavishly, he treated Wei Xiaobao with utmost respect. This time there was no other guest in his mansion.

After dinner, Prince Kang invited Wei Xiaobao into his study room. He made small talks, praising Wei Xiaobao about being the Emperor’s proxy at the Shaolin Temple and amassing countless achievements and virtue, with good result; he also praised him as a young man, but had achieved the Deputy Chief position of the Imperial Bodyguards and Commander position of the Valiant Cavalry Brigade; his future prospect was really unlimited. Wei Xiaobao responded by some humble talk, saying that in the future he would rely heavily on the Prince’s support and guidance.

Prince Kang sighed. “Xiongdi,” he said, “You and I are family, I don’t need to conceal anything from you: your Laoge [old older brother] is facing an imminent catastrophe; I am afraid my life, as well as my family’s, will be difficult to protect.”

Wei Xiaobao pretended to be greatly astonished. “Wangye is of royal family, a Great Beilei [see note 15 chapter 13] of the Virtuous Dynasty, the Tie Maozi Wang[1], the person His Majesty put in an important position as someone he could trust; what kind of imminent catastrophe might you be facing?”

“Xiongdi,” Prince Kang said, “You did not know. When we, Manchurian Qing entered the Pass, the Banner Commander of each Banner was bestowed a Buddhist sutra by the Late Emperor. I am the Banner Commander of the Plain Red Banner, hence I was also entrusted with this gift. Today His Majesty summoned me, asking me to present the sutra the Late Emperor bestowed to me. But … but my copy of sutra, somehow, unexpectedly … unexpectedly it is stolen …”

Wei Xiaobao’s entire face looked astonished. “That’s really strange!” he said, “Stealing gold and silver, I can understand. But stealing sutra? What good does it have? Is the sutra made of gold? Or perhaps fully inlaid with jade, pearls and precious stones, so that it is extremely valuable?”

“It’s not that,” Prince Kang said, “It is only a common sutra. But I was not able to safeguard the item that was bestowed to me by the Late Emperor, it is really disrespectful. His Majesty suddenly wanted me to present it to him, I am afraid he already knew that I lost this sutra and wanted to investigate this matter. Xiongdi, please help me.” While saying that, he stood up and bowed with cupped fist to Wei Xiaobao.

Wei Xiaobao hastily returned the propriety; he said, “Wangye is too polite, don’t you think Xiaoren deserve it?”

With a distressed look Prince Kang said, “Xiongdi, if you can’t find a way to help me, I will have no choice but to kill myself.”

“Wangye is considering this matter too heavily,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Tomorrow I will present a memorial to let His Majesty know about this matter, at most he will punish Wangye by several months of official salary, or perhaps rebuke you openly in front of the other officials; how can there be any life and death situation?”

Prince Kang shook his head and said, “If only I can keep my life, I am willing to forego my royal status as a prince; even if I have to be a commoner, I will thank the Heaven and thank the Earth, and will be perfectly contented. Because of losing the sutra bestowed to him, the Banner Commander of the Bordered Blue Banner Eshuokeha was put into Tian Lao yesterday. I heard he received a lot of beating. His Majesty sent people to interrogate him severely, to find out where did that copy of sutra go?” While saying that, his facial muscle twitched, apparently he was imagining the miserable and ruthless torture he would experience if he was sent to Tian Lao.

Wei Xiaobao knitted his brows, “The sutra is that important?” he asked, “Ah, right, that day when I searched and seized Oboi’s home, the Empress Dowager ordered me to find two books in his house, some thirty-two-chapter sutra, forty-three-chapter sutra, or something like that. Is that the thing that Wangye lost?”

The worried look on Prince Kang’s face grew deeper. “Exactly,” he said, “It’s the ‘Forty-two-Chapter Sutra’. When you searched and seized Oboi’s house, the Empress Dowager did not want anything else, but she only wanted that sutra, thus it is clear that that thing is extremely important. Did Xiongdi find it?”

“I did,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “That servant Oboi had the sutra in his bedroom, in a hole on the floor; it took quite some efforts for me to find it. What’s so strange about this sutra anyway? I can go to any monk’s temple and ask for eight or ten copies for you, then you can present it to His Majesty.”

Prince Kang said, “The Late Emperor personally bestowed the sutra, it is totally different than ordinary Buddhist scripture from the monk’s temple; I can’t pass it for the real thing.”

With a solemn expression Wei Xiaobao said, “If that’s the case, then it’s a bit troublesome. I wonder what it is that Wangye wanted me to do?”

Prince Kang shook his head and said, “I really cannot say it; how … how can I ask Xiongdi to so something that will disadvantage our lord?”

Wei Xiaobao struck his chest, “Wangye might as well say it,” he said, “You consider Wei Xiaobao as your friend, I will deliver this little life for you; it is yi qi. Very well, you present a memorial to His Majesty, just tell him that I, Wei Xiaobao borrowed the sutra to have a look, but I was not careful and I lost it. These last few days His Majesty liked me very much, at most he will have me flogged, he might not necessarily want to chop my head.”

“Thank you very much for Xiongdi’s good intention,” Prince Kang said, “But I’m afraid it won’t work. His Majesty can’t possibly believe that Xiongdi would want to borrow the sutra to have a look.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded. “Although I have been a monk once, but I don’t know any character even if it is as big as a watermelon. I am afraid His Majesty won’t believe that I borrowed the sutra to read it. We must find another way.”

Prince Kang said, “I was thinking of asking Xiongdi … of asking Xiongdi … asking Xiongdi …” He said ‘asking Xiongdi’ three times but did not finish; he only looked at Wei Xiaobao, watching for his reaction.

“Wangye,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Please don’t feel awkward. Your Xiongdi’s little life …” His left hand grabbed his own pigtail, his right hand moved across his own neck, and then with both hands he made a gesture as if he lifted his own head and presented it to the Prince. He continued, “… has already been given to you. As long as it’s not something that will endanger His Majesty, I will obey whatever you wish to tell me.”

Prince Kang was greatly delighted. “Xiongdi upholds yi qi in such a high regard like this, ay, your Gege don’t have anything much to say. I only wish to ask Xiongdi to go to either the Empress Dowager or His Majesty, and steal one sutra. I will prepare several dozen of master artisans to wait in here. We will start working that very night to make a copy of the sutra, so that I can pass through this crisis.”

“Can you make an exact replica?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

Prince Kang busily said, “We can, we can. We simply have to make an exact replica, I guarantee it won’t have any flaw. After we finish making the copy, Xiongdi may immediately return the original, we won’t dare to make the slightest damage to it.”

Actually, he was fully aware that hastily making a copy of the sutra without any flaw was extremely difficult; he was thinking of wrapping both the real and fake sutras, and have Wei Xiaobao return the fake one to the original place, while he presented the real one to the Emperor. He presumed Wei Xiaobao did not know anything, and would have a hard time distinguishing the real from the fake. If Wei Xiaobao did not find out about it later, that would be an extraordinary good luck; however, even if he did, Prince Kang would not be implicated. It’s just that at this moment he could not openly explain his intention to Wei Xiaobao.

“Alright,” Wei Xiaobao said, “The matter should not be delayed, I am going to find a way to steal it. Wangye should just wait quietly in your mansion for my news.”

Prince Kang thanked him profusely [orig. thousand kindness ten thousand thanks], and personally walked him out of the gate. He also warned Wei Xiaobao repeatedly to be careful.

Wei Xiaobao returned to his room. He pieced together the several dozen of sheepskin fragments under the lantern; thinking that since he had obtained seven out of the eight copies of sutra, even if there would be some empty spaces, he would be able to assemble most of it. Who would have thought that after spending more than an hour he could not even locate the corners of the map? By nature he did not have the patience, and was easily bored. Thereupon he put the several hundred small pieces in a piece of wax paper and wrapped it in a layer of oilcloth.

After putting the bundle inside his inner pocket, he thought, “Old Kang is the Banner Commander of the Plain Red Banner, naturally his copy of sutra has red envelope. Tomorrow I’ll simply give him a copy with different color.”

Early morning the next day, he sewed back the outer sheepskin cover of the Bordered White Banner’s sutra, pasted the envelope, and put it in his pocket. He then went straight to Prince Kang’s mansion.

As soon as Prince Kang heard about his arrival, he hurriedly came out to greet him. Holding Wei Xiaobao’s hands, he repeatedly asked, “How was it? How was it?”

Wei Xiaobao frowned with concerned look on his face; he shook his head. Prince Kang’s heart immediately sank. “It is indeed a very difficult matter, today we cannot succeed …”

“I have it,” Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice, “I am only afraid that you won’t be able to make a replica within ten days or half a month.”

Prince Kang was ecstatic; he jumped up suddenly, gave Wei Xiaobao a big hug, and carried him into his study room. Seeing their Wangye was acting like that, the numerous attendants and family warriors could not help but were secretly amused.

Wei Xiaobao took the sutra out of his pocket and presented it with both hands, asking, “Is it this thing?”

Prince Kang grabbed the sutra tightly, his body was shaking all over; opening the envelope, he looked inside and said, “Precisely, precisely. This is the sutra bestowed to the Bordered White Banner, hence it has white envelope with red border around it. We must start working on the carved printing block immediately. Xiongdi, can you think of some excuse so that I can stall for a few more days. Um, how about I pretend to fall down from the horse, with head broken and blood flowing, and remain unconscious? When the replica is finished, I will kowtow in salute to His Majesty. Do you think it’s good?”

Wei Xiaobao shook his head and said, “His Majesty is extremely brilliant; you fell and knocked down dramatically like that, he would be suspicious instead. You present a ‘western shellfish goods’ [not sure what it means, 西贝货儿] to the Emperor, His Majesty examines it carefully, your trickery will be exposed at once. The copy of sutra that you lost, other than the color of the cover, what else is different?”

Prince Kang said, “Other than the cover, everything else is identical.”

“That’s easy,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Just replace the cover of this book, today you can present it to the Emperor.”

Prince Kang was startled and delighted at the same time. With a trembling voice he said, “This … this … book is missing from the Palace, if it is being investigated, I am afraid Xiongdi will be implicated.”

“I quietly stole it from the Upper Study Room last night,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Nobody saw it. Even if someone did, humph, humph, that puppy will not dare to say anything. I will take this responsibility from you.”

Prince Kang was very grateful; he could not stop his eyes from turning wet. Holding Wei Xiaobao’s hands tight, he could no longer say anything.

Wei Xiaobao returned to the Palace. He wanted to take two more sutra and go to see Fat Toutuo and Lu Gaoxuan. He thought that the Plain Yellow Banner’s sutra was soaked in poisoned water and was snatched away by Sangjie Lama; the Bordered White Banner’s sutra he gave away to Prince Kang, he still had five sutras left. He seized the Bordered Yellow and Plain White, two copies, from Oboi’s house. The Bordered Blue he acquired from the old wh0re. The old wh0re had seen all three copies. By now the old wh0re must be with Cult Leader Hong, hence if he presented these three copies, it would not be too good. He snatched away the Plain Red Banner’s copy from Prince Kang’s mansion. The Bordered Red Banner’s copy was from Rui Dong’s body. Although the old wh0re knew the origin of this copy, there was no harm in it. Therefore, he decided to give Fat and Lu, two people, the Plain Red and the Bordered Red copies.

Fat and Lu, two people had already been waiting eagerly for him. Seeing him suddenly appeared with two copies of the sutra their Cult Leader wanted, they were overjoyed. Wei Xiaobao said, “Mr. Lu, take these sutras and present them to Jiaozhu and Madame. Tell them that I heard that Wu Sangui knows the whereabouts of the other six. I, the White Dragon Envoy will handle this matter for Jiaozhu and Madame. I will be loyal and devoted, a hundred thousand deaths, a million deaths will not prevent me; thereupon I will go to Yunnan, I will go through water and tread on fire to find those sutras. Fat Zunzhe, I want you to come with me to set up more great merit for Jiaozhu.”

---

[1] "Iron-Capped Prince", refers to a royal title, which is hereditary, and, in theory, passed down into perpetuity. For most titles given during the Qing dynasty, the son of the person who was awarded a royal rank would inherit a "diluted" title which is one rank lower than their father's title (and their son would inherit a title one rank lower than their own, and so on and so forth). But those princes who were awarded an "Iron-Capped" title would be able to pass their title down to their children undiluted, and so on and so forth.

[foxs]

Fat and Lu, two people happily agreed. Fat Toutuo said, “Lu Xiong, the White Dragon Envoy rendered this great service, the two of us can also enjoy the benefit. If Jiaozhu bestows us the leopard embryo tendon-altering pill’s antidote, you must immediately send someone you trusted to deliver it to Yunnan.”

“Yes, yes,” Lu Gaoxuan repeatedly complied; he thought, “The White Dragon Envoy is so young, yet he is already established like this. Someday the great position of Cult Leader will definitely be his. If I don’t seize the opportunity to curry favor with him right now, what am I waiting for?” Therefore, he said, “This antidote is indeed not a small matter, subordinate will not feel at ease to hand it over to other people, I will definitely deliver it personally. White Dragon Envoy, subordinate is loyal and devoted to you. I will make sure that you take the antidote first before subordinate and Pang Xiong [Fat brother] take it. Otherwise, even is the leopard embryo tendon-altering pill flares up, and subordinate has the antidote in my hand, I would rather die than take it first.”


Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “Very good, very good, you are so loyal and devoted to me, I won’t forget it.”

Lu Gaoxuan was delighted; he bowed and said, “Subordinate respectfully wish White Dragon Envoy a life of ease and comfort forever, and life as long as Mount Nan.”

Wei Xiaobao thought, “My position is only a level below Jiaozhu, a life of ease and comfort forever, and life as long as Mount Nan does not sound too bad.”

He returned to the Palace. Before long, a eunuch announced the Imperial Decree: conferring Wei Xiaobao the status as first class viscount, assigning him as the marriage envoy to escort Princess Jianning to visit Yunnan, to be bestowed in marriage to Ping Xi Wang Heir Apparent Wu Yingxiong. Wu Yingxiong was conferred the title Third Class Jing Qi Ni Ha Pan[1] plus the concurrent titles of Shao Bao [young protector/guardian] and Taizitaibao [tutor to the crown prince].

Wei Xiaobao took some money and gave it to the eunuch. He mused, “That fellow Wu Yingxiong has it too easy, he is going to marry a good-looking princess and promoted as high-ranking official. The mister storyteller said that Jing Zhong Yue Chuan, Yue Fei, Yue Yeye [Grandpa Yue] was also conferred the title Shao Bao. How can you, stinky fellow Wu Yingxiong, be compared to Yue Yeye?” But then he thought, “His Majesty bestowed him a high-ranking official position, so that Wu Sangui won’t suspect anything. Sooner or later his head will be chopped. Wasn’t Oboi also a high-ranking official with the title Shao Bao? Right, right, Yue Fei, Yue Shao Bao was also killed by the emperor. Hence it is obvious that those with the title Shao Bao is going to be beheaded. Next time His Majesty wants to confer the title Shao Bao to me, I must desperately decline it.”

Immediately he went to have an audience with the Emperor to express his gratitude. “Your Majesty,” he said, “This time your servant is going to Yunnan on a mission for you, if you have some ‘brocade pouch of miracle plans’, why don’t you tell me right now?”

Kangxi burst out in laughter. “Xiao Guizi does not know how to read,” he said, “A brocade pouch of miracle plans will be sealed in a brocade pouch; mysteries of heaven must not be revealed, how can I tell you right now?”

“So be it,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Too bad I am illiterate, even if Your Majesty has a brocade pouch of miracle plans, it must be drawn into pictures. Your Majesty, last time you ordered me to Qing Liang Temple to be the head administrator, the drawings in the Imperial Decree were very beautiful.”

Kangxi laughed; he said, “Since ancient times, I am afraid only the two of us, a ruler and his minister, who use pictures in place of letters in an imperial decree.”

“This is called ‘no one precedes, no one follows’,” Wei Xiaobao said.

Kangxi laughed and said, “Very good, you remember it well. I taught you idioms[2], and you remember.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “The ones Your Majesty taught me, I always remember. The ones other people taught me, some I can remember, some others I can’t always remember; I don’t know why. Just like the saying ‘once a promise is made, some horses cannot chase’. What kind of horses, I never remember.”

Right this moment, a eunuch reported the arrival of Princess Jianning who came to say goodbye. Kangxi looked at Wei Xiaobao, telling him to bring the Princess in.

As soon as Princess Jianning entered the Study Room, she threw herself in Kangxi’s bosom, while crying loudly. “Huangdi Gege,” she said, “I … I … I don’t want to be married in Yunnan, please retract your Imperial Edict.”

Originally, ever since they were little, Kangxi had always liked this younger sister; however, after he found out about the fake Empress Dowager’s evil conducts, he started to loathe and detest this younger sister. By marrying her to Wu Yingxiong, his real intention was to frame her; however, seeing her pitiful cry this moment, he could not bear not to feel pity for her. It’s just that things had come this far, he could not retract his Imperial Decree. Patting her shoulder gently, he said in tender voice, “When a girl grow up, she must be married. The husband I pick for you is really not bad. Xiao Guizi, tell Princess, that Wu Yingxiong is really handsome, isn’t he?”

“Absolutely,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Princess, the prince consort is a well-known handsome man in Yunnan province. Last time he came to Beijing, there were dozens of young women fighting outside the gate. The fight claimed three lives.”

Princess Jianning was startled. “What happened?” she asked.

Wei Xiaobao said, “Ping Xi Wang Heir Apparent is very handsome, he is famous throughout the world. When he entered the Capital that day, thousands and tens of thousands young women and married women throughout Beijing’s city wall were crowding the gate to have a look at him. Several dozens of young women, you squeezed me, I crowded you, they ended up fighting with each other.”

Princess Jianning laughed through her tears. “Pei,” she spat, “You lied! How can there be such matter?”

“Princess,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Do you know why His Majesty is sending me to escort you to Yunnan? And told me to bring a lot of Imperial Bodyguards, to give you adequate protection?”

The Princess replied, “It is because Huangdi Gege loves me.”

“That’s right,” Wei Xiaobao said, “This is His Majesty’s wisdom and foresight, his deep plans and distant thoughts. Just think: the prince consort is that handsome, I don’t know how many young women want to marry him and be his wife. And now all of a sudden he will be yours, I don’t know how many vinegar vats, vinegar jugs, vinegar pots, vinegar bottles are overturned in the world. Some young women are bound to know martial arts, they might give you some trouble. Although Princess herself has an excellent martial art skill, the few are no match for the many after all; isn’t that right? For this reason, your servant is escorting Princess to the south this time, the load on my shoulder is indeed not light. Dealing with an army of sweet and sour women, just think, how difficult is that?”

Princess Jianning laughed. “What sweet and sour army of women?” she asked, “You are really good at talking nonsense.” Right now her smiling face looked like flower, while several drops of sparkling tears were still hanging on her cheeks. She turned to Kangxi and said, “Huangdi Gege, after Xiao Guizi escorting me to Yunnan, let him accompany me talking to relieve my boredom, otherwise I don’t want to go.”

Kangxi laughed and said, “Alright, alright, let him accompany you for some time, until you get used to the situation there, and then we’ll talk about it.”

Princess Jianning said, “I want him to accompany me forever, I don’t want him to go back.”

Wei Xiaobao stuck out his tongue. “That won’t do,” he said, “If your Fuma Ye [master emperor’s son-in-law] loathes seeing me, he might get angry and chop me with a saber. A headless Xiao Guizi won’t be able to accompany Princess talking to relieve your boredom.”

Princess Jianning’s little mouth flattened. “Humph,” she said, “He dares?”

Kangxi said, “Xiao Guizi, before you go to Yunnan, I have something else I want you investigate. In this Upper Study Room I have lost a Buddhist sutra; I just felt a bit strange, even in here unexpectedly someone dares to steal things!” When he said the last sentence, his tone turned rather stern.

“Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao complied.

“Huangdi Gege,” Princess Jianning interrupted, “It was me who took your Buddhist sutra. Tee hee …”

“Why did you take it?” Kangxi asked, “Why didn’t you ask me first?”

The Princess laughed and said, “Empress Dowager ordered me to take it. Empress Dowager said, every day the Emperor must deal with thousands and hundreds military and country’s affairs, if I have to ask you for a small matter like a Buddhist sutra, it be too troublesome for you.”

“Humph,” Kangxi snorted, but did not say anything.

Princess Jianning stuck out her tongue. “Huangdi Gege,” she pleaded, “Please don’t be mad at me for this matter. Later when I go to Yunnan, if I want to come here to take your book again, I won’t be able to do it.”

Hearing her pitiful pleading, Kangxi’s heart softened immediately. He said tenderly, “When you go to Yunnan, if you need anything, just let me know.” After a short pause, he continued, “What can possibly be missing in Ping Xi Wang mansion?”

Wei Xiaobao went out of the Upper Study Room, a crowd of Imperial Bodyguards and eunuchs came to congratulate him. Each Imperial Bodyguard was hoping to be brought along to Yunnan; Wu Sangui’s riches could be compared to a country, it was a cushy job, there was a nine out of ten chance that they would make some money there.

In the middle of the evening, Prince Kang went into the Palace to see Wei Xiaobao again. Jubilantly he said, “Xiongdi, the sutra has been presented to the Emperor. His Majesty is happy, he even praised me several times.”

“That’s very good,” Wei Xiaobao said.

Prince Kang said, “You won’t leave for Yunnan in several days, today Gege will play host; first, to congratulate you of being conferred the title viscount, second, to give you a farewell dinner.” Taking along Wei Xiaobao’s hand, they left the Palace. But this time they did not go to Prince Kang’s mansion, instead, they went to an exquisite high-ranking official residence in Dongcheng district [lit. eastern city]. Although this house was not as grand as Prince Kang’s mansion, the engraved building, the painted beam, the flower, trees and mountain rocks, all the arrangement was very luxurious.

“Xiongdi,” Prince Kang said, “What do you think of this house?”

Wei Xiaobao laughed. “Very good, very beautiful!” he said, “Wangye really knows how to live a happy and prosperous life. Is this the Xiao Fujin’s [fujin is Manchurian word for wife] residence?”

Prince Kang laughed but did not answer his question; he invited Wei Xiaobao to enter the main hall. Many nobilities and high-ranking officials had already waited in the hall. Songgotu, Dolong, and the others came out to greet him. The word ‘Congratulations’ did not stop flowing into his ears. Prince Kang said with a laugh, “Today we are congratulating Wei Daren for getting a promotion; according to reason, he should sit in the place of honor. However, since he is the host, he will have to sit in the host’s seat.”

Wei Xiaobao was surprised. “What host?” he asked.

Prince Kang laughed and said, “This house is Wei Daren’s Viscount Mansion. Your Gege has prepared it for you. The carriage driver, cook, servants, maids, we have them all. Only it was such in a hurry that I am afraid it won’t be completely satisfactory. If Xiongdi wants anything, please feel free to send someone to my home to get it.”

Wei Xiaobao was pleasantly surprised; he did help Prince Kang out of a big trouble, but it did not cost him a single wen, did not pose him the slightest risk. Although he was aware that the Prince would definitely thank him with a gift, he had never imagined that he would receive such a heavy present. Momentarily he was speechless; he could only stammered, “This … this … how can I receive it?”

Prince Kang squeezed his hand and said, “The two of us have friendship that surpasses life, why should you still distinguish between what’s yours and what’s mine? Come, come, come, everybody must drink. Whoever is not drunk cannot go home today.”

The banquet continued with wine, everyone enjoyed themselves to the full before the party broke up. Wei Xiaobao was now a viscount, everybody also knew that he disguised himself as a eunuch under imperial orders; hence he could not comeback to live at the Palace anymore.

That night he slept in a splendid, magnificent and luxurious bedroom. Looking around, he noticed that if not golden utensils or silverwares, then it must be silk or satin. He suddenly thought, “His granny, if I open a brothel in this Viscount Mansion, ten Lovely Spring Courtyards cannot compare.”

Early in the morning the next day, he went to see Jiu Nan, to report that the Emperor was sending him to Yunnan to escort the bride.

“Very good,” Jiu Nan said, “I will accompany you.”

Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he turned his head to look at Ah Ke. Jiu Nan said, “Ah Ke is coming with us.”

Wei Xiaobao was even more overjoyed at the news. Even if the Emperor conferred him a hundred viscount titles, it still could not compare to this one good news.

After taking his leave from Jiu Nan, he went to Tian Di Hui’s new temporary lodging. Chen Jinnan hesitatingly said, “The Tatar Emperor favors Wu Sangui like that, we can’t pull him down for the time being. But this is such a golden opportunity. Xiaobao, if the traitor Wu Sangui does not revolt, we have to provoke him to rebel. If the provocation does not work, we have to frame him as a rebel. I should have gone with you, but when Er Gongzi and Feng Xifan are back in Taiwan, they will surely slander me in front of Wangye. I expect Wangye will send someone to inquire of Tian Di Hui’s affair. I must stay here to report everything according to the facts. You may take all brothers here to Yunnan.”

“I am afraid that fellow Feng Xifan will return to harm Shifu,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Better have the brothers here to help Shifu, otherwise disciple won’t feel relieved.”

Chen Jinnan patted his shoulder; he said warmly, “It’s rare to have someone as filial as you are. Although Feng Xifan’s martial art is strong, your Shifu may not necessarily be weaker than he is. Last time he simply attacked us when we expected it the least, he hid behind the door and launched a sneak attack; hence, he managed to injure my right arm first. Next time we meet, he won’t necessarily be able to occupy the advantageous position. Presently, killing Wu Sangui is the most important matter, we must try to accomplish it at all costs. I only hope that the matter in here will be resolved as quickly as possible, so that I can catch up with you to Yunnan. We can’t let the Mu Family have a head start.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded and said, “If we let the Mu Family make their move first, later on Tian Di Hui will have to obey their command; that won’t be too good.”

Chen Jinnan reached out to check Wei Xiaobao’s pulse, he also ordered him to pull out his tongue. He frowned and said, “How can the poison you contacted change its nature? Fortunately it won’t flare-up for the time being. You must not train the internal energy cultivation I taught you, so that the poison will not enter your channels.”

Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he said in his heart, “You told me not to train martial art, you said so yourself; you cannot blame me in the future.” He also thought, “This leopard embryo tendon-altering pill is really fierce, even Shifu does not know what it is. I only hope Mr. Lu will deliver the antidote soon.”

Several days later, everything was prepared. Wei Xiaobao would lead the Imperial Bodyguards, the Valiant Cavalry Brigade, Tian Di Hui warriors, and Divine Dragon Cult’s Fat Toutuo. He took his leave from Kangxi and the Empress Dowager, to escort Princess Jianning to Yunnan. Jiu Nan and Ah Ke dressed up as palace maids, they mingled with the other palace maids. Tian Di Hui warriors and Fat Toutuo were also disguised as Wei Xiaobao’s personal attendants, they all wore Valian Cavalry Sergeants uniform.

---

[1] Manchurian for Viscount of the Third Class. WXB’s peerage title of Zǐ (子), was actualy only used in the 18th century onwards. Therefore, WXB should be a First Class Jing Qi Ni Ha Pan [一等精奇尼哈番], rather than a First Class Zi [一等子]. (Courtesy of Ace High)


[2] Set of expression, often made up of four characters, or two couplets of four characters each, often alluding to a story or historical quotation.

[foxs]

Wei Xiaobao sat astride the Jade Buckskin horse Prince Kang gave him, with retinue in front and behind him, immensely proud of himself as he set off to the south. He had already sent a messenger to Henan, to tell Shuang’er to head south. He was hoping that they could meet en route. This moment everything was fine except for one small imperfection, namely he missed this gentle, soft, considerate and smart servant girl by his side.

Along the way, all government officials spared no effort in providing extravagant welcome; they were all trying their best to curry this high-ranking official, the marriage envoy’s favor, in short, they licked his behind completely. Wei Xiaobao was bursting with joy, ever since he went on mission out of the Palace, he had never experienced anything as comfortable as this time.

“The old wh0re is very disappointing,” he mused, “Why did she give birth to only one daughter? If she had seventeen, eighteen daughters, laozi will specialize in being marriage envoy, and would escort them all one by one; that way I would eat, drink, and be marry for the rest of my life. Having gold, silver and jewels to splurge sure beats everything else.”

One day they arrived at Zhengzhou [prefecture level city and capital of Henan province in central China]. The prefectural magistrate welcomed the delegation and had them take a rest and lodge for the night at the garden of a local wealthy elite resident. After the grand welcoming feast, Princess Jianning sent for Wei Xiaobao, summoning him to come and chat with her.

Ever since they left Beijing, it had always been like this. Wei Xiaobao was afraid the Princess would beat him up, each time he always had Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao to accompany him by his side. No matter how earnest the Princess asked him, or threatened him in anger, he simply would not send these two people away to let him alone with her face-to-face.

As usual, after dinner that day, the Princess summoned Wei Xiaobao. The three of them came to the small hall in front of the Princess’ bedroom. The Princess wanted Wei Xiaobao to sit, while Qian and Gao, two people stood behind him. It was in the middle of a very hot summer weather, the Princess was wearing a thin gauze short jacket with open slits in place of sleeves. With circular fans in their hands, the two palace maids behind her were fanning her. The Princess’ face was flushed. There were tiny beads of sweats above her lips, making her look very tender and beautiful.

Wei Xiaobao thought, “Although the Princess is not as good-looking as my wife, she could still be considered first class attractive woman. That fellow Wu Yingxiong can marry her, his luck in love is indeed not shallow.”

The Princess cocked her head and smiled. “Xiao Guizi,” she said, “Are you hot?”

“Not bad,” Wei Xiaobao replied.

“If you are not hot,” the Princess said, “Why is your forehead sweating a lot?” Wei Xiaobao laughed while using his sleeve to wipe the sweat.

A palace maid entered with a large multicolored porcelain jar in her hands, she said, “Reporting to the Princess: Prefectural Magistrate Meng respectfully presents this iced sour plum drink for the Princess to relieve the summer heat.”

The Princess happily said, “Good, get a bowl for me to taste.”

Another palace maid fetched a blue and white china bowl, poured the sour plum drink, and presented it to the Princess with both hands. The Princess took a soupspoon and drank several mouthfuls. She let out a contented sigh and said, “I could not imagine a tiny Zhengzhou prefecture like this can store ice.”

The sweet-scented osmanthus fragrance from the sour plum drink inundated the room, the ice cubes tinkled against the soupspoon, Wei Xiaobao and Qian and Gao, two people, could not stop their mouths from watering. The Princess said, “Everybody is hot, pour a bowl for each one of them.”

Wei Xiaobao and Qian and Gao, two people, expressed their gratitude. As the ice-cold sour plum drink entered their mouths, a burst of cool air seemed to penetrate their inner beings; it was an unspeakably comfortable feeling. In just a short time, the three of them drank their bowls dry.

The Princess said, “Hastening through this kind of hot weather is quite an ordeal. From tomorrow on, we will travel only forty li a day. We’ll leave early in the morning, and stop to rest as soon as the sun is up.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Princess is so considerate of your subordinates, everybody is very grateful. But I am afraid we will be delayed for quite a long time.”

The Princess laughed and said, “What are you afraid of? I am not in a hurry, why are you anxious? Let that fellow Wu Yingxiong wait, it’ll be good for him.”

Wei Xiaobao smiled. He was just about to reply when suddenly he felt his head was spinning, his body swayed. “What is it?” the Princess asked, “You got heat-stroke?”

“I am afraid … I am afraid I drank too much wine just now,” Wei Xiaobao replied, “Your highness, Princess, your servant wants to take my leave.”

“You drank too much wine?” the Princess said, “In that case you all have to drink another bowl of sour plum drink to wash the wine away.”

“Many … many thanks,” Wei Xiaobao said.

The palace maid poured three more bowls of sour plum drink. Qian and Gao, two people also felt their heads dizzy. They drank the plum drink in one go. Suddenly the two of them swayed and fell down to the floor. Wei Xiaobao was shocked; he saw stars dancing in front of his eyes, he only drank a mouthful of the sour plum, the rest of it splashed on his body, in a flash he lost his consciousness.

He did not know how long he had been unconscious, but while he was still in daze, he felt like heavy rain was falling on his head. He wanted to open his eyes, but another heavy rain drenched his head. A moment later, his brain started to clear up, he felt his body was ice-cold, suddenly he heard a laughter. When he opened his eyes, he saw the Princess was looking at him, giggling happily.

“Ah!” Wei Xiaobao exclaimed; realizing that he was lying on the floor, he hastily wanted to prop himself up. Who would have thought that his hands and feet were bound? He was shocked, and struggled for a moment, but unexpectedly he was unable to move a single step.

He saw that he had been moved into the Princess’ bedroom. His body was soaking wet. Suddenly he also realized that his entire clothes had been stripped clean, he was stark naked without wearing a single thread on him. He was even more scared. “What … what happened?” he called out.

Under the candlelight he only saw the Princess, one person, in the room; the palace maids, Qian and Gao, two people, were gone. He was even more shocked. “I … I …” he stammered.

“You … you … you what?” the Princess said, “You dare to be rude to me?”

“Where are they?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

The Princess’ pretty face sank immediately. “I loathe to see your two attendants,” she said, “I have their heads chopped early on.”

Wei Xiaobao was not sure if she was telling the truth or was lying, but thinking that this Princess’ action was unpredictable and did not follow conventional reasoning and morals, he would not be surprised if Qian and Gao, two people, were indeed killed by her. He thought better of it and guessed that there was some trick in the sour plum drink. “Was there any knockout drug in the sour plum drink?” he asked.

The Princess giggled. “You are very smart,” she said, “Too bad it was too late.”

“The knockout drug … did you get it from the Imperial Bodyguards?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

When he released Wu Lishen and the others, he also asked the Imperial Bodyguards for some knockout drugs. Later on he used the knockout drug up to disable Sangjie and the other lamas. This time he was back in Beijing, he immediately asked for another big package from Zhang Kangnian, which he had it inside his traveling sack. ‘Dagger, treasured vest, knockout drug’ were three magic weapons the Little White Dragon Wei Xiaobao used to attack and defend himself. Usually Princess Jianning asked for martial art advice from the Imperial Bodyguards, she often chatted with them about the marvels and legends of the Jianghu; hence he would not be surprised at all if she asked for some knockout drugs from them to play with.

The Princess laughed and said, “You know everything. Yet you did not know there was some knockout drug in the sour plum drink.”

“Princess is a hundred times smarter than your servant,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Princess wants to do anything to me, you want to bind my hands and feet, your servant cannot resist at all.” While his mouth was busy talking, his mind was churning to find a way to escape.

With a cold laugh the Princess said, “Your shifty eyes keep turning around and around, what crafty idea are you thinking about?” Raising Wei Xiaobao’s own dagger, she said, “As soon as you shout one time, I am going to poke eighteen holes on your tummy. Tell me, at that time, will you be a dead eunuch, or a live one?”

Seeing the flickering cold ray of the dagger, Wei Xiaobao mused, “Dead girl, a pest, doing things in total disregard of the law and natural morality; if you casually scratch this dagger anywhere on my body, laozi will definitely die. I must scare her first so that she won’t dare to kill me, and then I’ll think of a way to escape.” Thereupon he said, “At that time, I will be neither dead eunuch nor live eunuch, but I will turn into a blood-sucking ghost, an evil zombie.”

The Princess raised her leg and kicked him heavily on his stomach. “Dead little demon,” she cursed, “You still think of scaring me?”

“Ah!” Wei Xiaobao screamed in pain. The Princess said, “I have not tread on your tummy and squeeze your intestine out; did it hurt? Hey, guess how many times I will have to tread on your tummy to squeeze your intestine out? If you guess correctly, I will let you go.”

Wei Xiaobao said, “Since people tied up your servant, my brain is getting dumb, I won’t be able to guess anything.”

The Princess said, “Since you won’t be able to guess, I will have to try it. One kick, two kicks, three kicks!” With each count, she raised her foot and kicked his belly.

“That won’t do, that won’t do!” Wei Xiaobao called out, “If you kick me one more time, you will squeeze out the smelly excrement out of my tummy.”

The Princess jumped in fright, and did not dare to kick anymore; she thought that it was not a big deal if she squeezed his intestine out, but if she squeezed his excrement, it would stink to high heavens, then it would not be fun anymore.

“Good Princess,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Please release me quickly, Xiao Guizi will obey your command, I will accompany you for a martial art match or a fight.”

The Princess shook her head, “I don’t like fighting,” she said, “I like to beat people!” ‘Shua!’ she drew a whip from underneath the mattress; ‘whack, whack, whack, whack’, successively she lashed the whip on Wei Xiaobao’s fully exposed skin more than a dozen times. Immediately strips of blood appeared. As soon as the Princess saw the blood, she could not help but beaming with joy; she stooped down and gently ran her fingers on his scars.

Wei Xiaobao was hurting so much that it was as if he was roasted over the open fire. “Good Princess,” he pleaded, “I have enough beating from you today, I have not offended you.”

Suddenly the Princess got angry; she kicked his nose heavily, immediately blood flowed out of his nose. “You have not offended me?” she said, “Huangdi Gege is giving me in marriage to that fellow Wu Yingxiong, it was entirely your crafty idea.”

“No, no,” Wei Xiaobao busily said, “It was His Majesty’s holy decision, it has nothing to do with me.”

“You still deny it?” the Princess angrily said, “Empress Dowager has always loved me the most, why is it that I am being given away in marriage far away in Yunnan, the Empress Dowager did not say anything? So much so that when I said goodbye, the Empress Dowager ignored me completely. She … she is my own mother, you know!” While saying that, she covered her face and cried bitterly.

Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, “The Empress Dowager has been swapped long ago; since the old wh0re swapped the real Empress Dowager, she hates you to the bones, naturally she ignored you completely. She did not curse you or scold you, she can be considered very polite to you. But I can’t tell you this secret.”

The Princess cried for a while, and then hatefully said, “It’s all because you are not good, it’s all because you are not good!” While saying that, she kicked randomly on Wei Xiaobao’s body.

Wei Xiaobao suddenly had a bright idea, “Princess,” he said, “You do not want to marry Wu Yingxiong, why didn’t you say so earlier? I have an idea.”

The Princess opened her eyes and said, “Liar! What idea do you have? This is Huangdi Gege’s decree, nobody can defy.”

“Nobody can defy His Majesty’s imperial decree,” Wei Xiaobao said, “But there is a fellow that even His Majesty cannot do anything to him.”

“Who’s that?” the Princess asked in surprise.

“Yanluo Wang [King of Hell]!” Wei Xiaobao said.

The Princess still did not understand. “What can Yanluo Wang do?” she asked.

“If Yanluo Wang came to help,” Wei Xiaobao started, “He could grab Wu Yingxiong away, then you can’t get married with him.”

The Princess was startled. “How can that happen so conveniently?” she asked, “How can Wu Yingxiong die just like that?”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, “If he does not want to see Yanluo Wang, we can send him go.”

“Are you saying we should kill him?” the Princess asked.

Wei Xiaobao shook his head. “Not killing him,” he said, “But some people die without any reason, nobody knows the cause of his death.”

The Princess stared at him for half a day, suddenly she shouted, “You tell me to murder my own husband? That won’t do! You told me that this fellow Wu Yingxiong is amazingly handsome, and that all the young women in the world want to marry him. If you kill him, I will deal with you and won’t let this matter rest.” While saying that, she raised the whip again and lashed it out on his body.

Wei Xiaobao could only scream in pain. The Princess laughed and said, “Did it hurt? The more it hurt the more fun it is! It’s just that you are screaming too loud, people outside might hear it. You don’t have a heroic spirit.”

“I am not a hero, I am a coward,” Wei Xiaobao said.

“F*ck your mother!” the Princess cursed, “Turns out you are a coward.”

This ‘golden branch, jade leaves’ belonging to the royal family would suddenly utter such a vulgar language. Wei Xiaobao could not help but was shocked. The Princess casually picked up a sock, which was actually taken from Wei Xiaobao’s own foot, and stuffed it into his mouth. Raising the whip again, she ruthlessly lashed it out on him.

After several lashes, Wei Xiaobao pretended to pass out; he rolled his eyes until only the whites were visible, and stayed still. The Princess cursed, “Little thief, you pretend to be dead? I am going to make three cuts on your belly; if you are really dead, you won’t move at all.”

Wei Xiaobao thought that he could not take the chance and test it out, hastily he turned and twisted to struggle free. The Princess laughed aloud; she raised the whip and lashed it out on his naked body again. ‘Whack, whack, slap, slap!’ the whip cracked sharp and clear.

After lashing the whip more than a dozen times, she tossed the whip down, and said with a giggle, “Zhuge Liang wants to burn the rattan-shield troops.”

Wei Xiaobao was greatly anxious, “To meet with this insane woman today, laozi’s nineteen generation ancestors must have committed a lot of sin.”

He heard the Princess was muttering to herself, “The rattan-shield troop do not have rattan-shield on him, it won’t be too easy to burn, I must pour some oil on him.” Finished speaking, she turned around and walked out of the room to find some oil.

Wei Xiaobao struggled desperately, but the rope binding his hands and feet was simply too tight, how could he escape? In his anxiety, he suddenly remembered his shifu. “Laozi has bowed to take quite a few of shifu. The old turtle Hai Dafu was the first, and then Chen Zongduozhu Shifu, Hong Jiaozhu whose long-life-is-the-same-as the-heavens Shifu, Madame Hong the coquettish-fox Shifu, the Young-Emperor Shifu, Cheng Guan the old-monk-martial-nephew Shifu, Jiu Nan the good-looking-nun Shifu, but among these string of shifu, no one has taught me any really useful martial art. If laozi knew superior internal energy, I only need to lightly push the muscle of my hands and my feet, the rope will immediately break; why should I be afraid of that crafty girl burning rattan-shield troops?”