While he was fretful, frightened and anxious, and was busy blaming the gods and accusing other people, suddenly he heard someone outside the window was speaking in a low voice, “Quickly go in and save him out.” It was Jiu Nan, the good-looking-nun Shifu’s voice.
As soon as the voice entered his ears, Wei Xiaobao was so happy that he wanted to jump; it was a pity his hands and feet were tied that he could not jump. He also heard Ah Ke’s voice, “He … he is not wearing any clothes, I can’t save him!”
Wei Xiaobao was furious; he cursed in his heart, “Dead girl, I don’t wear any clothes, why can’t you help me? Could it be that I have to wear clothes before you can save me? If you don’t save your husband, it’s the same as murdering your own husband. You will become young widow, will you be happy then?”
He heard Jiu Nan said, “Just close your eyes, cut the ropes binding his hands and feet, won’t that work?”
“That won’t do,” Ah Ke said, “If I close my eyes, I can’t see. What if … what if I touch his body? Shifu, you save him.”
“I have left home,” Jiu Nan angrily said, “How can I do this kind of things?” Although Wei Xiaobao was young, he was a teenage boy, and he was stark naked, it was quite a disgraceful situation, how could she look?
Wei Xiaobao wanted to scream, “Just get some clothes and throw it in to cover me; won’t that mean you will not see me?” Too bad there was a stinky sock stuffed in his mouth that he could not speak; plus Jiu Nan and Ah Ke, master and disciple, were extremely lacking in their experience to meet a contingency.
The two of them were dressing up as palace maids, they applied yellow powder on their beautiful faces; usually they were afraid the Princess would question them, hence they only mingled with palace maids who did heavy work, and had never seen the Princess’ face.
That evening they heard indistinct cracking of whips and the screaming noise coming from the Princess’ bedroom, thereupon they same to the bedroom window to take a look. They saw Wei Xiaobao, completely stripped off his clothes and bound, was being ruthlessly whipped by the Princess.
While outside the window Jiu Nan, master and disciple, had not reached an agreement, Princess Jianning already returned to the bedroom; she giggled and said, “Momentarily I cannot find any pig oil, cow oil, or vegetable oil, we will have no choice but to extract some black bear oil by heat. [The original word for ‘coward’ is ‘black bear’] You said it yourself, you are not a hero [yingxiong] but a coward [gouxiong/black bear]; I have never seen what black bear oil look like. Have you seen it?” While saying that, she picked up a candlestick from the table and used the flame to burn the flesh of Wei Xiaobao’s chest.
Under severe pain, Wei Xiaobao jerked his body backward. The Princess grabbed his hair with her left hand to prevent him from moving, while with her right hand she continued burning his skin. Shortly afterwards, burning smell arose. Jiu Nan was shocked. Instantly he pushed the window open, lifted up Ah Ke and threw her into the room. “Quickly save him!” she shouted, while she herself turned around with eyes closed tight to avoid seeing Wei Xiaobao’s nakedness.
Being thrown into the room by her shifu, Ah Ke saw saw the smooth naked body of Wei Xiaobao in front of her eyes; she did not want to look, but it was too late. Without any choice she stretched out her palm to hack down the back of Princess Jianning’s neck.
“Who’s there?” the Princess called out in alarm. She used her left hand to block, but due to the sudden movement of her right hand, the candle flame went out. However, there were still four or five red candles burning on the table, hence the room was still bright enough to see.
Ah Ke successively made her move; how could the Princess be her match? ‘Crack, crack’ twice, her right arm and her left leg were twisted out of joint, and she fell by the bedside. She had quite an unyielding temperament, her mouth was still cursing in rage.
Ah Ke angrily said, “It’s you who are not good, and you are still cursing others?” Suddenly ‘Ah!’ she broke crying, in her heart she felt she was deeply wronged.
The Princess was stunned; she stopped cursing. She thought, you were the one who beat me up, why are you crying instead? Ah Ke grabbed the dagger from the floor and cut the rope binding Wei Xiaobao’s hands and feet; her face blushed deep red from shame. Tossing the dagger away, she flew out the window and disappeared. Jiu Nan followed behind her.
The commotion inside the room was like the sky and the earth turning upside down, naturally the palace maids and eunuchs outside had heard it early on. However, they had been warned by the Princess, no matter how strange the noise inside, without being summoned, nobody was allowed to come in. Whoever stuck his or her head into the room, that head would be chopped down. Everybody looked at each other in dismay; they all have a strange look on their faces.
This Princess loved to fool around since she was little; hundreds and thousands of weird tricks emerged one after another, for many years these people were used to her antics, nobody suspected anything. The Princess’ own mother was a fake goods born of the uncultivated land of the Jianghu, how could she control and guide her daughter? Shunzhi left home to become a monk, Kangxi was still young, even if Princess Jianning was more undisciplined and out of control than this, nobody cared.
A moment ago the Princess summoned the palace maids and eunuchs into the room to drag the fainted Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao out and bind them up. Everybody knew there would be some strange occurrences tonight. Yet it never occurred in anybody’s mind that the Princess could, unexpectedly, be beaten and rendered immovable by other people.
Hearing his good-looking-nun Shifu and Ah Ke already left far away, Wei Xiaobao pulled the sock from his mouth, turned around to close the window, and cursed, “Stinky girl, have you ever seen fox-spirit oil? I haven’t. How about we extract some by heat so we can look at it?”
He kicked her twice, grabbed and twisted her hands behind her back. He ripped a piece of her skirt, and tied her hands with it. The Princess’ hand and leg’s joints were dislocated, she was in so much pain that her brow was beaded with sweat, how could she resist? Wei Xiaobao grabbed the front of her clothes and pulled it hard. ‘Rip’ her clothes was immediately ripped apart. The gauze vest she was wearing was thin to begin with, as soon as it was torn, the snow white flesh of her chest was exposed.
Wei Xiaobao’s heart was filled with hatred. He picked up the candlestick from the floor, lighted it, and put the flame on her chest. “Stinky girl,” he cursed, “The payback is coming soon. I don’t need too much fox-spirit oil, I only need to extract some by heat to fill the sour plum bowl; it will be enough.”
“Ah!” the Princess screamed in pain. Wei Xiaobao said, “Ah right, you must also taste my stinky sock.”
He stooped down to pick up the sock and was about to stuff it into her mouth. The Princess suddenly said in a soft voice, “Gui Beilei, don’t stuff the sock in my mouth, I won’t scream.”
As soon as the three characters ‘Gui Beilei’ entered his ears, Wei Xiaobao was stunned. That day, in the Princess’ bedroom in the Palace, she took the role of a servant and attended to him, she also addressed him as ‘Gui Beilei’. Right now hearing her calling him intimately with the same appellation, he could not stop his heart from being moved. He heard her speaking in a soft voice, “Gui Beilei, please spare your servant. If you are not happy, just whip your servant to vent your anger.”
Wei Xiaobao said, “If I don’t whip you ruthlessly, it will be difficult to purge the hatred from my heart.” Putting down the candle, he picked up the whip and lashed it out on her.
The Princess cried softly, “Aiyo, aiyo!” She closed her charming eyes into a slit, yet there was a hint of smile on her cherry lips, as if she was experiencing an unspeakable comfort.
“S1ut,” Wei Xiaobao cursed, “Are you happy?”
The Princess replied softly, “I … your servant is a s1ut; would Gui Beilei hit me a bit harder, please? Aiyo!”
Wei Xiaobao tossed the whip away. “I won’t hit you!” he said. Turning around, he tried to find his clothes, but did not know where she had hidden them. “Where is my clothes?” he asked.
“Please,” the Princess said, “Help me fix my dislocated joints, let … let your servant attend Gui Beilei to dress.”
Wei Xiaobao mused, “Although this s1ut is weird, the Emperor has sent me to escort her to Yunnan. I can’t kill her.” He cursed, “F*ck your granny, you are a stinky little girl.” He continued in his heart, “Your Ma is the old wh0re, laozi does not have any appetite for her. Your granny does not have anything good in her, but laozi has never seen her.”
“Isn’t it fun?” the Princess asked.
“Your granny is fun,” Wei Xiaobao angrily replied. Lifting up her arm, he located the joint, and tried hard to fix it. But he did not know the technique to set broken bones; it was only after several tries was he finally able to fix the dislocated joint. The Princess did not stop crying ‘aiyo, aiyo!’ from the pain.
By the time her dislocated leg joint was fixed, the Princess was leaning over his back. The two people’s bare skin and flesh touched, Wei Xiaobao felt his lips dry his tongue parched, while his heart was burning. “Could you just sit down?” he said, “If you are like this, laozi might treat you as my wife.”
“But I want you to treat me as your wife,” the Princess said intimately. Her arms embraced him tight. Wei Xiaobao struggled lightly, he wanted to push her away, but the Princess pulled him and planted a kiss on his lips.
Immediately Wei Xiaobao felt his head spinning and his vision blurred, followed by his heart fluttering, as if he was inside the cloud and mist. He suddenly found out that the s1ut, fox-spirit in front of his eyes was unspeakably pretty and adorable. The red candles in the room went out one by one. Wei Xiaobao was in between asleep and awake states, his mind was fuzzy, he had no conscience where he was.
In his blurry, dazed state, suddenly he head Ah Ke’s voice outside the window, “Xiaobao, are you in there?”
Wei Xiaobao was startled, instantly he woke up from a beautiful dream. “I am here,” he replied.
“What are you doing? Why are you still here?” Ah Ke angrily asked.
Wei Xiaobao panicked. “Yes!” he said, “I am not … not doing anything.” He wanted to shove the Princess away and get out of the bed, but the Princess firmly embraced him.
“Don’t go,” she said quietly, “Tell her to get the hell out of here. Who is she anyway?”
“She … she is my wife,” Wei Xiaobao said.
The Princess said, “I … I am you wife, she is not.”
Ah Ke was ashamed and angry at the same time. She stomped her feet, turned around and left.
“Shijie, Shijie!” Wei Xiaobao called out. He did not hear any reply. Suddenly a pair of warm and soft lips closed his own, so that he could not call anymore.
The next morning Wei Xiaobao wore his clothes, and tiptoed out of the Princess’ bedroom. He asked the eunuch in-waiting outside the room, and found out that Qian Laoben and Gao Yanchao were all right, they were still bound inside a room on the eastern wing. He was relieved, but was quite ashamed as well; he did not dare to meet those two. Thereupon he ordered the eunuch to quickly release them.
Back to his own room, he was joyous, but a little afraid. He did not dare to think too much, hence he crawled underneath his quilt and fell asleep.
Later on that afternoon he came to see Jiu Nan, with head hung low, and his face blushed deep red; thinking that this time Shifu surely would punish him severely, perhaps she would beat him to death with one palm strike. Who would have thought that Jiu Nan did not know what happened at all, instead, she warmly comforted him, “That girl is so mean,” she said, “Like a mother like a daughter. Are you hurt really bad?”
Wei Xiaobao was greatly relieved. “Not bad,” he said, “Only … only … fortunately she did not injure my muscle and bones.” Seeing Ah Ke was glowering at him, he said, “I owe it to Shifu and Shijie for rescuing me; otherwise she … she would definitely burn me to death last night.”
Ah Ke said, “You … you … last night …” Suddenly she blushed and did not continue.
Wei Xiaobao said, “She … the Princess … put some knockout drug. Shijie jumped into the room to rescue me, but she … at that time the effect of the drug has not worn out, I was unable to move.”
Jiu Nan took a pity on him, she said, “Although I have accepted you as my disciple, all along I have not passed on any martial art to you; unexpectedly you were bullied by that little girl.”
If Wei Xiaobao had a mind to train excellent martial art, he should have asked her in earnest, and Jiu Nan would have gladly taught him. He only needed to train a little, and would have reaped lifelong benefit. But for anything that needs hard work, he was afraid he might fall short. When he was bound, whipped and burned by the Princess the previous night, he blamed all his shifus for not teaching him martial arts, yet right this moment when his shifu really wanted to teach him, he hummed and hawed instead. “Shifu,” he said, “I have a terrible headache, as if my head is about to split open. I also feel like the skin and muscle on my entire body is about to fall piece by piece.”
Jiu Nan nodded and said, “Just go and rest; later on just see this little girl less, if you really have to see her, take a dozen or so people with you, she won’t possibly give you any trouble publicly. When she gives you any food or drink, no matter what you must not eat or drink it.”
Wei Xiaobao repeatedly said, “Yes.” He was about to withdraw when Jiu Nan suddenly asked, “Why did she beat you up last night? Didn’t she know that the Emperor is very fond of you?”
Wei Xiaobao said, “She … she did not want to go to Yunnan to get married, she said that it was my idea. It seems to me that he little s1ut knew that we, master and disciple, dealt with her mother.” By telling minor lie like that, he was pushing most of the blame of the Princess beating him last night to Jiu Nan.
Jiu Nan nodded, “Most likely her mother has told her. From now on you must be extra careful.” She thought, “When I dealt with the fake Empress Dowager at the Palace that day, I was quite ruthless; but Xiaobao did not show his face at all that time. Could it be that the fake Empress Dowager had an inkling and ordered her daughter to retaliate?”
The party slowly continued southwest. Every evening, the Princess always quietly summoned Wei Xiaobao to accompany her. At first Wei Xiaobao was still afraid his shifu and his Tian Di Hui companions might find out, but as these two young people had just found the matter between man and woman, once the extremely sweet and charming Princess wrapping her body around his, how could he be willing to give this experience up? Even a gentleman might not necessarily be able to resist, much less he had never received any proper training in human relationships or etiquette.
For the first several days he would sneak out quietly at night. Later on he would stay in the Princess’ bedroom the whole night. During the day he was the marriage envoy, in the nights he was the prince consort. All the palace maids and court eunuchs dreaded the Princess, plus Wei Xiaobao unceasingly rewarded them with large quantities of money; who would dare to utter even half a sentence about this affair?
When Ah Ke twisted the Princess’ joints that night, naturally the Princess wanted to know who was this ‘Shijie’, yet with graceful words, flowery speech Wei Xiaobao was able to skirt around this question. The Princess’ character was rather coarse, plus she was at the heat of the passion, hence she did not inquire further.
These two, a young man and a young woman, had just tasted the passion for the first time; it was like oil mixed in honey. In her cunning and reckless temperament, the Princess always playfully assumed the role of a slave, as soon as he entered the room, she would kneel down and greeted him, “Gui Beilei, Gui Fuma [consort, emperor’s son-in-law]” unceasingly.
When Fang Yi tricked Wei Xiaobao to go to the Divine Dragon Island, during the voyage, she only treated him with intimate manners and tender words, driving him crazy [orig. bewilder him until his six vital organs fail]. This time he was truly overwhelmed with joy, the Princess drove him even more crazy. The two of them only hoped that the journey would never last. Even though Ah Ke mingled among the palace maids, Wei Xiaobao knew perfectly well that she would never treat him like the Princess did; unexpectedly Wei Xiaobao did not try to curry favor from Ah Ke like he usually did.
One day they arrived at Changsha [prefecture, capital of Hunan province, south central China]. From the Divine Dragon Island Lu Gaoxuan caught up with them on fast horse, carrying with him the Cult Leader Hong’s verbal order, telling him that the Cult Leader was extremely delighted to receive the two copies of sutra, commending the White Dragon Envoy for handling this matter with dedication, that he was astute and competent, that he was indeed our Cult’s great minister who had given outstanding service. The Cult Leader especially bestowed him with the leopard embryo tendon-altering pill’s antidote.
With all the majesty of a royalty these past few days, Wei Xiaobao had already forgotten that there was an acute poison in his body. Hearing the message, he was nonetheless very happy. Immediately he, along with Lu Gaoxuan and Fat Toutuo, took the antidote. Lu and Fat, two people, bowed to express their gratitude, saying that it was entirely due to the White Dragon Envoy establishing this great merit that the two of them could enjoy the Cult Leader’s favor in the form of this legendary magic potion of the immortals, that the calamity in their bosoms was eliminated.
Lu Gaoxuan said, “Jiaozhu and Madame passed on an order to the White Dragon Envoy: the remaining six copies of the sutra must still be sought. If the White Dragon Envoy can render this distinguished merit, Jiaozhu would not be stingy in bestowing his reward.”
“Naturally I will strive to do that,” Wei Xiaobao said, “Jiaozhu and Madame’s favor is as heavy as the mountain, even if our bodies are torn our bones are crushed, it is difficult to repay.”
Fat and Lu, two people said together, “Jiaozhu will enjoy the immortal good fortune forever, his long-life is the same as the Heaven’s. White Dragon Envoy will enjoy a life of ease and comfort forever, and live as long as Mount Nan.”
Wei Xiaobao smiled without saying anything. He mused, “What’s so good about enjoying life in ease and comfort? If I can enjoy romantic good fortune every day like this forever, having a life as long as Mount Nan will make a bit more sense.”