Swallowed Star

**patrick the dragonic moron** · 03-05-15, 06:14 PM

thanks for the chapter

**Michelangelo(TheNuchakuTurtle)** · 03-05-15, 06:17 PM

"This is my first time here in #003 city, this prey is mine. You guys can leave" smiled the mixed youth as he said.
This could be worded a little bit better.
"This is my first time here in #003 city, this prey is mine. You guys can leave" said the mixed youth as he smiled (menacingly).
Just re-aranging it a bit makes it flow better IMO, and the adjective adds some spice. Up to you though.

**l0gin4me** · 03-05-15, 08:21 PM

Thanks for the chapter Zeb!

**Kylar** · 03-05-15, 09:11 PM

Thank you for the chapter!

**ghostpeople** · 03-05-15, 09:54 PM

thanks for the chapter

**Zebulin** · 03-05-15, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by Michelangelo(TheNuchakuTurtle)

"This is my first time here in #003 city, this prey is mine. You guys can leave" smiled the mixed youth as he said.
This could be worded a little bit better.
"This is my first time here in #003 city, this prey is mine. You guys can leave" said the mixed youth as he smiled (menacingly).
Just re-aranging it a bit makes it flow better IMO, and the adjective adds some spice. Up to you though.

okay thanks. I changed it (I didn't put in menacingly though; don't like adding in things that isn't in the original text)

**_simulacra_** · 03-05-15, 10:55 PM

cheers zeb

**HPC7595** · 03-06-15, 01:32 AM

Thanks Zebulin

**mat20k** · 03-06-15, 02:37 AM

The time for the Tiger **** squad to die is long past. Kill them and sell their belongings..
Thanks for the chapter Zeb..

**z3385922** · 03-06-15, 05:07 AM

Thanks for the chapter

**Aequitas** · 03-06-15, 05:14 AM

Zeb such good guy

**CyberHDD** · 03-06-15, 08:07 AM

Thank you very much Zebulin!

**Sanngrior** · 03-06-15, 12:37 PM

tch as much as i want the tiger fang to die... it's probably not going to happen yet due to being guarded by 2 strong individuals >

i think IET has a thing with bring the enemy to the MC's face but making them unkillable for a while grrr

as long as they and the 2 individuals don't pull any crap and try to rob the hard earned spoils,or Lou Feng kills one of the tier fang squad as a warning, then i will be satisfied for now and remain patient lol.

otherwise it's out for blood and time to mobilize the Clan xD

**soulreaper** · 03-06-15, 02:50 PM

Tiger squad will get what is coming to them soon, after that is the really cool part of 003 city.

**Bludflag** · 03-06-15, 03:33 PM

Forgot to say thanks for the chapter Zebulin and any that I might have missed~

**kingofmonkeys** · 03-06-15, 07:17 PM

Thanks for the chapter as always Zebulin!

What would be funny, is if the Tiger Fang squad followed them to 003 City, with the intent to kill the members of the squad, but got totally squished and wiped out by the monsters instead.
Tiger fang members dead, and MC doesn't even have to lift a finger.

**Tootz Marquez Peco** · 03-06-15, 09:01 PM

The Tiger Squad needs to die now. lol

**Caster Of Doom** · 03-12-15, 01:03 PM

Is the next chapter coming soon?

**hower7** · 03-13-15, 02:49 AM

So u registered just to ask this question? LOL

**Caster Of Doom** · 03-13-15, 06:06 AM

Well... kinda. But not just for this transition, but every time i wanted to ask that a new chapter would be posted and i forget to post my 'childish' question (kinda like 'are we there yet').

P.S. Thanks Zebulin for the awesome work.

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