喵喵喵 Meow Meow Meow – by 橘花散里

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Hello world! So I am quite into this book 喵喵喵 atm and am in the process of developing my chinese comprehension skills hence why I am translating this. This a fairly long book with 200+ chapters and if I'm motivated enough, I may even translate the whole book. I know my english and chinese aren't the best but I hope you guys won't mind too much about the bad grammar. Sorry to all the wuxia lovers but this is a Xian Xia, Romance, Comedy and Time Travel-ish book. Without further a do, here is the summary, which can also be found shushengbar @

---> http://www.books.shushengbar.com/?p=5332

You can also visit my blog for the chapters and releases @ ---> https://calicoxtabby.wordpress.com/

Summary:

A two years old ordinary cat travels through time to become a thousand years old demon cat Hua Miao Miao.


Little Miao Miao doesn't understand the complications of life, still acting like an ordinary cat.


Unexpectedly, Hua Miao Miao meets Bi Qing Shen Jun, a warrior god who looks like her previous owner, and is tricked by him to go to the heavens to become his disciple.


Under the tutelage of shifu Bi Qing Shen Jun, after going through numerous painful challenges, little Miao Miao finally understands what it means to be a “cat.”


– Can’t undress in front of other people, except shifu.


– Can’t elope with other men, except shifu.


– Can’t hug or kiss other people, except shifu.


– Can’t accept roses from Xiao Tian Quan, except given by shifu.


– Can’t go to Underwater Third Prince’s place to eat fish, except cooked by shifu.


Uh…… what else?


Not allowed to go to a brothel to earn money? Not allowed to cause chaos or accept proposals?


Meow~ I don’t remember…… Shifu, don’t be angry.


All right, I’ll remember clearly in the future, please don’t eat me!

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Chapter 1 - Cat Crossing

This story begins on a quiet summer afternoon, a body warmed by the sun, beneath the carpet of green grass, exuding an earthy fragrance, if not for the bones and skin burning in pain, then all is ordinary.

Who am I?

I am a cat, a 3 colour coated Calico cat, 2 years old, female, and my owner likes to call me Hua Miao Miao.

Why am I like this?

It seems I was catching a sparrow on the tenth floor balcony and accidentally fell down. As I was falling, the whistling wind was blowing into my ears, like flying, owner jumped to the railing with an expression of panic-stricken and despair. I raise my head at the sky, there was a flock of birds spreading their wings and flying....Soon the strong smell of blood stimulates my olfactory nerve, and i can no longer hold my eyes open, my eyelids slowly close, my mind goes blank, falling into the boundless darkness, I do not anything anymore.

~~~

Since you don't know, then do not think that the thoughts of a cat is very simple, like a straight line.

Right now, enjoying the beautiful sunshine, easing the body of pain, and having a good sleep is the most important thing. I did not expect to suddenly hear a burst of sound. "Boss! Boss! How are you feeling? How come you are back to the body of a cat?"

The sound is really annoying, I wiggle my ears, change my position and continue to sleep.

I did not think that the quiet chirp would grow closer and louder, directly into my ears. "Boss! Boss! You have to quickly wake up!"

I angrily open my eyes, wanting to give this noisy cat a paw to the face, however I did not see anybody in sight, just a crow.

A white crow.

With his sparkling round eyes wide open, he cocks his head to see me, there seems to be a hint of joy. "Boss! I have finally found you."

I am also very happy, because food is right at my fingertips and it would be pity to not taste. Driven by hunger and excitement, I do not have time to ponder about why this crow can speak human language, only quietly extending my sharp claws.

White Crow continued happily, "Boss! You and giant bird devil was missing for several days after the war, now the elephant devil wants to force you to come and promise to marry him, turning the earth and sky upside down, I was about to die searching for you."

I carefully take a few steps toward him.

White Crow hasn't found out my intentions yet, but continued to call out, "Boss! Why do keep your tail upright?"

That's because hunting makes me nervous.

White Crow continues to call, "Boss! Why do you lick your lips?"

That's because I was dreaming of crow meat delicacy.

White Crow tilted his head and asks, "Boss! Why did you extend your claws out? There are no enemies around here."

That's because I can't let you escape.

White Crow hesitates to ask, "Boss, why do you not speak and your eyes.....and your eyes are strange....."

His words have not fallen, I pounced, I did not expect the crow to be so unusual. He quickly rolled sideways, spread his wings and flew to the treetops, his mouth cried, "Boss, even if I saved you too late, you don't need to hit me!"

The ground, because of my powerful vault, splits unexpectedly, creating a 3 meter deep pit, I had not pondered where this astonishing destructive force came from. Standing at the bottom of the pit, I stare at the white crow on the tree, somewhat annoyed, I leaped out of the pit and pounced onto the tree. However, this time I overdid it and rushed too hard, the tree folds in two, startled the crow flies and lands on the ground.

I regretfully lick my paws, wanting to rush once again. I did not expect the white crow to suddenly turn around and fly, immediately, a cloud of smoke was hanging over him. And when the smoke cleared, White Crow was gone, replaced by a white robed boy.

If we use the human aesthetic point of view, this boy should look beautiful and very feminine, some may find it difficult to discern whether he is male or female. His stature is thin, his black hair like a waterfall, and charming almond eyes, joined with a high nose bridge and an exquisite oval face. This boy was dressed in a loose white robe, the neckband reveals some collar bone, ambiguous, with a kind of charm. If placed in a crowd, just a wink would charm both male and female.

The above is many years later, after I have learned the rhetorical description and aesthetic of the human point of view, but at the moment, my cat's aesthetic point of view saw an average guy with just two eyes, a nose and a mouth.

I don't care about the appearance of the young boy, the most important issue now is that my food is gone?

Haven't recovered, the young boy hurriedly came over and barked, "Boss, what the hell are you?"

I am a little angry, and rebuked, "I am a cat! I am not your boss!"

After saying that, I used my claw to trace the pharynx and larynx, I do not understand why I was able to suddenly speak. I was a little surprised, but the young boy was even more surprised, he held a hand and pointed at me, he stammered, "B-Bos....Boss.....you.....you....."

This complex set of changes caused me to freeze on the mind, my mind is chaotic, countless fragments of memories flowed in, one of which was a beautiful girl with cat ears smiling slyly. When I recovered, I discovered that the world in front of me was no longer gray and heavy, but a variety of colours. I never knew the names of these colours before, I could not distinguish clearly whether the colours owner told me about, green, red, blue, purple belonged to the grass or sky. But presently I understood their names and their charms, I was infatuated with these new discoveries.

My brain is getting more and more chaotic, my head is getting more and more painful that it's making me scared.

I want to go home.

Go back to a place where there is no danger, no harm, only warmth and comfort.

Therefore, I no longer pondered where the crow goes, I only want to crawl away.

But before walking a few steps, the white robed boy suddenly caught up and held me tightly and shouting loudly, "Boss, don't go, you should speak up if you are troubled."

The young boy's hands are quite powerful, I was very uncomfortable, so I was angry and my paw greeted his face, he shrieked and turned his head away but my paw was still on his right cheek, causing bloodstains.

I took the opportunity to kick out of his grip and clawed him once more before i fled at least 10 meters away from the young boy.

The white robed young boy stood there watching me as he clutched the wound on his face, not daring to come any closer.

I quickly ran without looking back.

[ghostpeople]

seems like a good book, cant wait for more

[Xīxuè]

When I read the summary I was like: WUT?

Haha! Interesting read. Will follow.

[MNX1024]

Very interesting. Definitely seems different from the typical wuxia and xianxia stuff in here. I like!

[darkcser]

That's pretty funny.

Looking forward to seeing more of this!

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Chapter 2 - Where Is My Fish

Where is home? The lost me is a bit depressed, but also very hungry.....

My sensitive nose in the air gently twitches, there was a distant smell of people, I run hurriedly the first few steps, and I see a strange town.

I have never seen a town.....

Hurriedly I ran in, I saw a lot of people in town walking around on the street, just like the street in front of my home, but the strange thing is that the houses here are especially short. The roads are very narrow and no vehicles ran, which is very suitable for cats.

What was even more surprising was that no matter women or men, most of them keep their hair long , the hair is tied in a variety of strange shapes and various metals and wood were inserted. They were wearing skirts and dresses, these dresses and skirts dragged on the ground.

I seem to remember that owner has said that a man with long hair and wears a skirt is a tranny(人妖).

Therefore I can categorically judge that this must be a transvestite city. Monsters!

However, will monsters eat cats? I am a little hesitant, I do not dare enter this strange world, but the smell of food coming from the air, so hungry, I forget everything.....

Head bowed, I walked gingerly down the street, I use my peripheral vision to scan the crowd and strafe to nearby women and transvestites, nobody seems to notice my presence, nobody wants to eat me, therefore I relax. I keep my head up in search of food.

After a several steps, I saw a roasted chicken shop, the chicken was roasted to a light yellow hue, and emitting a seductive fragrance. Standing inside, the boss of the shop did not wear a skirt, only wearing long pants, he seems to be a normal man, should be in the category able to communicate.

So I put on the most civilized posture, sitting upright at the chicken shop door, watery eyes wide open looking the boss, I loudly called out, "Meow woo~~~"

Boss only caught a glimpse of me and ignored my cry for attention.

So I resorted to the invincible spoiled kitten acting, lying on the ground playing roll to expose my fluffy white belly, stopping every so often to call out, "Meow woo~~ Meow woo~~"

The stone hearted boss remains unmoved, he wave his hand and whispered in a low voice, "Where did this dirty cat come from?"

Dirty? I turn my head to look at my whole body, fur soiled by mud and stained by dirt, lick, lick, but I can't lick it clean. I moved on to step 3, stepping back and walking beside the shop getting ready to steal some chicken......

But that shop boss, as if he saw through my motives, grabs a chicken with his left hand and places it on the cutting board, his right hand from the sky cuts maliciously into the chicken. The poor chicken, mercilessly beheaded, he looked at me exposing a grim smile, "Stupid thieving cat! If you dare to steal, then I'll cut your tail off!"

I look at the glittering knife in his hand, immediately frightened , I ran away with my tail clamped between.

I dare not stop until I have passed several streets, I lie down on the ground hungry and weak, and not wanting to move another step. Many birds were flying in the sky, but I do not know how to catch them.

If White Crow was here that would be good, I remember him to be a pure white and a delicacy, sigh~~.

In despair, suddenly a voice beside me says, "Yu'er(Fish), you are really fragrant....."

Fish? Where?

My ears wiggle a few times and I immediately jumped, following the sound, I see a room filled with an acrid scent. There is a naked woman sitting on the thigh of a naked man, the writhing body said, "I will not let you have any incense to eat~~"

"Yu'er(Fish), do you want me to be anxious to death?" The man grabs the two things on the woman's chest and rubs it, rubbing and pleading, "Give it to me~~....."

The woman's face was flushed crimson, and pats the man's hand saying, "Friend, what's the rush~"

I stared at them biting each other, it seems that they are fighting, until they hit the side of the bed, then the curtains fell.

Good opportunity! Time to look for fish to eat!

This opportunity mustn't be lost, so I jumped carefully from the window, tracing around the bed a few times, but coming from inside I heard the moaning and gasping of the man and woman.

"Ahhh~...faster~...faster~"

"Yu'er(Fish)~...do you want it?~...do you want it?~"

"Yes~...I want~...give me~..."

"Am I better or is your husband better?"

"Of course you are better~...again faster~...?

This fish....Is it that good? Also everybody fighting for it? They sound so happy and excited, so I couldn't help but drool a bit, but I dare not go steal, I anxiously go round and round the bedside.

I do not know how long, maybe after eating fish, they began to stop the fight and the woman suddenly opened the curtains and came out. I hastily go under the bed nervously watching her actions.

She does not notice my presence and simply said to the man, "I'll be right back." She picks up several pieces of clothing from the ground and leaves the room.

I see the woman leave, so I ran out and stared at the bed curtains, thinking about delicious fish. And finally I could not resist, I entered from the foot of the bed and made a slight opening in the curtains, hoping to see some fish scraps or leftover sauce.

The man has his eyes closed, still undetected, I boldly crept around, not finding any traces of fish, but I have found a strange thing between the man's legs.

What's that? Red, small, and like a turtle's head.

I curiously crept next to it, extending my paw, I gently and lightly tapped it.

I did not expect the turtle to actually move! I frightenly take a step back.

Alive! It's alive!

I gathered my courage, and again I gently poked at it.

The turtle moved again! The man let out a moan, "Yu'er(Fish)~ so comfortable, continue...."

What is the relationship between this and the fish? Could it be that I have to defeat this to have fish to eat? I looked down at the front of the turtle, hesitant at first, but made an effort to claw at it.

I successfully flattened the turtle, unfortunately, the entire bed was broken in two by my paws.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" The man fell on the ground, covering the turtle, and screaming like a pig.

As he screams, I feel somewhat guilty, after all, I broke their bed. So I hurried over to play roll on the floor to apologize.

However, I did not expect the man to roll fiercer than me, he rolled while twitching his facial muscles, together with tears and snots flying, he seemed to be in agony.

This bed may be quite expensive.....

In order to express my sincere apologies, I held on to his feet with my paws, then I rubbed my head side to side on his feet while calling out, "Meow, meow."

He finally accepted my apology, satisfied enough that he fell asleep, and sleeping with a mouthful of white foam.

While he was sleeping, I looked everywhere, but still no food. I heard the woman rush to the door, she grasped the man on the ground and screams, "You! Quickly wake up! Was it thieves? Wake up!"

This seems ominous, not daring to continue looking, I quickly jump out from the window sill.

Not too far gone, I bump into a big black dog, he spits and says, "Harmful evil spirit, let's see how I deal with you!"

What is this about? Who is the evil spirit?

I was shocked.

[Catahn]

That may be the best book summary I've read yet XD. Thank you for the translations.

[ghostpeople]

she broke the bed, and the turtle. great chapter!

[MNX1024]

Oh man, I feel bad for that man's turtle.

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Chapter 3 - The Vicious Dog

What kind of thing is this dog?

Since six months ago, I almost blinded the eyes of the Beijing Pekingese at our house when I clawed at it, ever since, the Pekingese is afraid to come out every time it sees me.

In front of me this big black dog actually dare call me an evil spirit? Is he tired of living?

I am angry! I am pissed off!

Very serious consequences will come from an angry cat!

"Meow woo~" With a loud cry, I threw myself forward, sharp claws greeted the dog's face, vowing to catch his eyes.

The big black dog had not expected my sudden attack, I quickly went ahead for the next attack. Ferociously I clawed into the skin on his shoulder, a faint trace of blood seeps from the wound, the formidable air current that was formed destroys the walls of the court yard completely.

The bricks and pieces were scattered all over the floor, a few people began running out of the house looking at the mess in confusion.

I know that once again I have broken something, I do not wish to be scolded so I dash.

"The evil spirit has escaped!" Screamed the dog from behind, chasing me in a hot pursuit.

We both ran as far as possible, did not know long we ran, but no matter what the other was not able to throw off the other, and gradually I grew weary of the chase game. Seeing nobody chasing me to scold, I stopped.

The dog seeing me stop, quickly stepped back, huffing with asthma said, "Well...Well...Evil spirit, you are actually so powerful."

"You can speak! You are the evil spirit, I am a cat! Meow woo~" In order to prove that I'm a genuine cat, I immediately lie on the ground and roll a few times, showing him my white belly.

"Bold!" He thundered up, "I am the god Erlang's heavenly hound Xiao Tian Quan! I am an immortal!

"You are a dog!" I retorted.

"An immortal!"

"A dog!"

We argued for a little while, threw the original purpose away, and decided to use force to solve the problem.

The dog suddenly stood up on his two rear legs, while black smoke enveloped him, after the smoke cleared, there was a man.

From a human's perspective, this man is very cool, neatly trimmed short black hair, sharp red eyes emitting a sort of light, wheat coloured tan skin, a slender figure wrapped in leather armor. Every movement showing off the beautiful muscles, and two little fangs on each side of his lips.

This is the conclusion I have come to after learning aesthetics of the human's point of view.

At the present, my eyes see an ordinary man with two eyes, a nose and a mouth, and once again my prey has disappeared.

"Who are you?" Since I've had the experience, this time I was not afraid, just curious with lots of questions.

The man did not speak, just flashed a pair of steel claws and threw himself maliciously at me, I jumped up from fear, flying to his rear.

I did not expect him to be so fast, his ruthless claws rushed towards me. Dodging was quite difficult, and I hate that my claws were not long enough, I can't grab hold of him.

After a sudden thought appeared in my mind, my memory segments undergo a bizarre change, my whole body seems to flow with air continuously, upsetting my inner organs.

I do not know the colour of the smoke coming out of my body, it engulfs my entire body, and when the smoke clears, I found myself bigger, taller, and with longer limbs.

Still adapting to my new body, I see the man in front of me standing there stupidly and stiffly, his staring eyes bigger than a brass bell.

Therefore I seized the chance to slap him with the palms of my hand, he flew several meters off to the side, just barely able to stabilize himself back up.

"Almost fooled by the beauty." The man wipes the blood from his lips, ready to attack again.

With my four limbs lay crawled on the ground and arched back ready to defend, I feel somewhat cumbersome and uncomfortable.

Clothes, so many clothes, layers after layers of clothing wrapping me tightly. The clothes touch my skin giving me goosebumps.

I hate wearing clothes. In the past, during the winter time, owner would buy me small outfits and force me to wear them, and I always try by whatever means to take them off.

Now this! Is no exception!

"Wait!" I call out to the man to pause, I then tear my clothes apart, but fortunately this dress is very thin, like a piece of paper, so it was very easy to take it off quickly and neatly.

The man's face suddenly turned red, red like cooked prawns, and took a few paces back while saying, "This....this....you are too shameless....quickly stop!! Stop stripping!! Stop!!"

I don't care what he's shouting, I tear off the last piece of clothing, and felt a little depressed. There were two white bean buns on my chest, I feel it, it was very big, very heavy, and very uncomfortable.

The man miserably shrieked, no longer turned around, and no longer facing the enemy in front.

How could I possibly pass up such a good opportunity to attack, so I took the advantage of the situation and pounced on him hard, holding and rolling him on the ground several times.

"Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh!!! No!!! Stop!!!" The man screamed as his nose spewed with two spurts of blood. His eyes were running around, watching the sky and looking at the clouds, however, he dared not look at me.

I hugged him tightly, not letting go and with my teeth, I bit through his chest armor, revealing a toned body.
"Forgive me! This is my first time!" Cried the man as more and more blood flowed down his nose and onto his body.

What first time? He looks very poor, so I felt a little guilty. But did not think he would take this opportunity to grab a thick stick and hit my waist.

A sneak attack!

I saw through his despicable trickery again and ruthlessly bit down on his shoulder, my sharp teeth piercing his skin and flesh, till he screams, and finally he exerts some force with his hands, the leather armor all ripped off as well as my grip on him.

The man was breathing heavily, taking a few paces back, first covering his nose, then covering the lower part of his body. He waved his hand to the sky, and down came a cloud, he jumped on and instantly flew away.

In my mouth were the spoils of war --- ripped leather, I coldly watch in the direction he flew, and did not understand what had happened.

No fur.....no fur on my body.....where has my cute cat fur gone?

I panicked and became scared, I immediately check my body, and found that aside from the head, there were a few place with hair, but that was it, my body has become so strange.

My long beard gone, and my little pink paw pads gone as well, replaced by long blue and purple hair and skin as smooth as silk. In addition, there were two cat ears and a fluffy tail, but the other spots all resemble a human.

I am obviously a cat.

What to do? What to do? At a loss, in the distance came two cries.

"Boss!"

"Sister!"

I lifted my head slowly, it was the white robed boy and another I did not know the name of, staring at me dumbfoundedly.

Their complexion became very red.....very red.....

I sadly called out to them.

"Meow woo~"

[jaelaun]

Omg. Hahahaha! She's so cute and clueless! xD Thanks for the chapter!

[ghostpeople]

nice story of a clueless cat. thanks for the the chapter

[Laoren]

hahha.. so funny, even the best hero will lose when fighting with a nude woman

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Chapter 4 - Luo Sha's Rage

What is the scene like presently?

Clothes all over the ground, blood stains on the green grass, and me sitting on the ground naked, watching as the two men approach. The air in the atmosphere was getting restless and uneasy.

It was mixed with a murderous rage, spreading rampantly, I felt slightly afraid.

Being secretly vigilant, the two people suddenly turned and shot strait forward. The 2 meter tall man took off his cloak and tossed it towards me while his back was turned, and then angrily says in a trembling voice, "Sister, you put on the cloak first, later we will tear that beast apart that has tarnished you and cut him up into pieces!"

I crawled over to the cloak on the ground, sniffing it a few times, it has a furry trim and looks very comfortable, but it reminds me of my beautiful cat fur I no longer have. So I climbed into the cloak, curled up into a ball, and sadly held onto my furry tail.

"Boss, how are you doing?" Inquired the white robed boy.

I do not understand what he asked me, therefore I rolled with the cape two times, and whined, "Meow woo~"

The white robed boy and the big man turned to look at me, howling loudly, they turn back.

I curiously looked at their bizarre actions, suddenly a fragrant smell entered my nose. It is the smell of roast chicken, my stomach began to dance, and my mind is full of food.

"Meow woo~" I called out again, I crawled slowly towards the direction of the fragrant smell, in search of food.

The smell is coming from the big giant man, more than 2 meters tall, muscular, and dressed in shining armor with two pointy horns sticking out of his head. His hand carries a heavy iron bar, his power is incomparable.

As an educated cat, I do not want to steal, instead I rub my head between his legs and cried, "Meow woo~ Meow woo~ I want to eat chicken~ Meow woo~"

After hearing my sweet meows, the big man looks down at me, our eyes met, his hand suddenly trembling, he drops the heavy iron bar on his toes, "Bang", he scared me.

I think.....to be hit with such a large rod should hurt right?

But the big man in front of me was very brave, he slightly wrinkled his brow and didn't even call out, but his face started to get red. He turned his head and seriously said, "Righteous sister....you....what are you doing? Put on the cloak first!"

"Meow woo~ I want to eat chicken, Meow woo~" I use my legs to stand up and rummage through his arms to find chicken.

"I'll give you! Here you are!" He nervously called me to get up and hurriedly pulls the chicken from his bosom. He ran strait outside for several meter, the white robed boy shouts, "He is probably overly shocked right now, you, get dressed now."

I did not mind what he had just said, I am only a hungry cat, so I flew onto the chicken and took a big bite. The white robed boy saw me eating, and shook his head, walked over and grabbed the cloak from the ground.

Not good, he wants to steal my chicken, I arched my back and gave him warning purr.

The white robed boy seem to understand what I was thinking, he squints his eyes, squats down and gently places the cloak on me, and says softly, "Well behaved cat, as long as you put the cloak on, I will not steal your chicken, and give you lots of fish."

You are a good person! I look at the boy full of emotion and excitement. If there are a lot of fish, then putting on clothes is no big deal.

The boy smiled gently, he touches my head to comfort me, and help fasten the strap of the cloak, then waved to the back and shouted, "Bull Devil, you can come over."

That big man called bull devil cautiously approaches, he gasps, wiping the sweat from his forehead says, "Yin Zi, you have true capability, if my wife saw her holding me like that, I'm afraid I'd be a bull skin lantern already."

"What do we do now? The giant elephant devil is still waiting for the marriage reply, however, he has gone crazy." Yin Zi gloomily asked, "The alliances of their brothers are quite capable, but with boss' broken claw, defeating them is difficult."

The two of them are talking really intensely, I understand their language, but I do not understand the meaning, I continue to work hard to chew my chicken until there was only leftover bone. I then raised my head and made a purr of gratitude.

"Righteous sister, do you really not remember me?" The bull devil's face showed sadness, and eyes foggy, "Which bastard caused you to become like this?"

Looking at his facial expression, sniffing the familiar scent of him, I was somewhat touched, memories flooded me from behind, so I called out, "Bull....Bull Devil....GēGē*....."

*GēGē is a term used to call an elder brother, but can also be used by close friends or used to call someone who has more seniority than you.

"Righteous Sister!" Bull Devil says overjoyed, "You remember me!"

I stood up asking him to sit, watching a drop of water fall, licking it gently, it was very hard to dig out the appropriate words to say, "GēGē.....do not cry....."

"I didn't cry! The wind was too strong and sand got into my eyes!" Bull devil exclaimed as he hugs me rubbing his eyes, Yin Zi suddenly looked behind us, terrified.

"Yin.....Yin Zi....." This name appeared in my memory, I do not know why, but the language is becoming more and more fluent, I curiously asked, "What are you doing?"

Bull devil found it strange, and cocked his head and asked, "What is it?"

"Behi.....Behind....." Yin Zi pointing behind us, cold sweat trickling down his forehead, "Sis.....Sis-in-law."

"Well.....Well, you adulterous pair!!" A sharp angry voice from behind, "How dare you hook up without me knowing!"

I do not know what this means, but bull devil is really scared, he lets go immediately, and turns his head anxiously.

As I looked back, I saw a young woman, wearing tight-fitting clothes, armed with a pair of Qingfeng sword, almond eyes staring, inverted upset eyebrows, looking at me and bull devil, wanting to tear us to shreds.

"Let me explain! It's not like this!" Bull devil nervously leaped up and waved.

The woman looked at the mess on the ground and then at the cloak on my body, suddenly a sword cut past bull devil, "I'll kill you, you heartless traitor! Beast, you're even more inferior than a dog! Not even letting go of your sister!"

Bull devil hastily wielded his iron bar, blocking her sword, he explains, "Listen to me speak first! Don't be so impulsive!"

"I will not listen! I will castrate you! Skin you to make a lantern out of it!" The woman's complexion was like Rakshasa, she went on to criticize, "And that kinky cat will be my sky lantern!"

"You can't criticize my righteous sister!" Bull devil angrily says.

The battle between the two was like a raging fire, mountains crumbling and the earth cracking, hundred year old tree destroyed into pieces, gravel flying. The young couple that use to live next door also fought fiercely, I secretly cheered, pulling Yin Zi to one side I curiously asked , "What is heartless traitor? What is kinky cat? What is a sky lantern?"

Yin Zi shook me and made me very dizzy and light headed, he finally broke out like roaring thunder.

"All of you, stop at once!!!!"

[Laoren]

hahhaha........Thank HayasiGah-Moon

[Anh Nam]

Thanks HayasiGah-Moon

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Chapter 5 - Riding In The Wind

Yin Zi's loud roar, caused my ears to ring, as well as bringing the two people to a standstill.

The woman looks at the bull devil for a long time, she finally drops the sword and falls limply onto the ground crying, "Damned beast, I do the housework and take care of the children, while you screw around outside, are you worthy of me?"

"Worthy." Bull devil nodded, the woman's face promptly sunk, he shook his head and shouted, "The worthy I mean is....."

"What does that mean?" I curiously asked, as I joyfully watched them from the side.

The woman's eyes zooms toward me, taking a palm-leaved fan, I suddenly feel a murderous aura, and shivered. Carefully I take a few paces behind Yin Zi, trying to hide myself.

"Luo Sha sis-in-law! You mustn't use the palm-leaved fan!" Cried Yin Zi, "My boss was raped, and now she is insane! Therefore her behavior is abnormal, bull devil is an honest gentlemen! Do not misunderstand!"

Hearing these words, the woman called Luo Sha swept her eyes towards bull devil, bull devil immediately nods. She suddenly laughs, ice and snow melting, and flowers blooming, she graciously walks forward and pulls me out from behind Yin Zi, face blushing, she shyly says, "It's all that stupid bull's fault for not explaining that I almost misunderstood sister, I apologize for my sins, please don't take this the wrong way."

I tilted my head, swung my tail, and stared at her flamboyant face, I do not understand what those words mean.

Luo Sha continued to ask, "Sister, which dead meat was it that dared to bully you?"

"Dog!" I blurted without hesitation, that mean and despicable dog, if a chance arises, I would definitely take another bite of him.

Luo Sha's face became more relaxed and smiled, Bull devil and Yin Zi encircled us and angrily asked, "Which dog? Bring us to kill that dog so we can revenge you!"

Good! Ahh~ my favorite bully dog and watch dog, you are good people! I am very moved, so I think hard to remember the bad dog's name. His name seems to be very long so I am a bit confused.

After a moment of hesitation, I finally remember his name, and I said in a positive and affirmative voice, "He said he is called Erlangshen!"

This remark, caught the three people in front of me to be in a sluggish state for a long time, so I continued to chew and throw the chicken bones beside me.

"No.....not the heavenly god Erlang Shen Yang Jian, right?" Yin Zi finally stammers after a long silence.

I think again, about the words in front of me, and then I nodded confidently.

"How is this possible!" Bull says as he touches his head, "God Erlang Shen is not a dog!"

Yin Zi calmly added, "Don't forget that guy has 72 transformations, even if he descends onto the human realm as a dog, is it something really that surprising? If not for him, what other dog would be able to defeat boss and do shameless things?"

"But this.....Sister's strength can be considered one of the strongest in the demon world, how can any stupid dog defeat her?" Bull devil reluctantly says, "But.....if it was the god Erlang Shen.....then I think otherwise, how did he take a liking to sister?"

"Well....." I look around and glance at Luo Sha, she then says, "Sister beauty may be at blame, even women find her too beautiful, to say that the god Erlang Shen is infatuated with her is not an understatement."

The three get together to discuss for a long time, since Erlang Shen was a god, they had no means of defeating him, so they decided to protect my reputation by telling others I injured my head falling down, and wait for revenge in the future.

After a conclusion was decided, Yin Zi summarized it to me, he explained the meaning of the words and that I can not go to teach a less to that bullying dog......

This makes me very angry, I lie on the ground for a long time, until Luo Sha cooked me delicious and plump carp, then I reluctantly agreed to let that bastard dog off the hook.

Next they discussed about the elephant devil's marriage proposal, Yin Zi says it is better to decline, trying not to provoke the flames of war, they discuss the final outcome, and the most important thing right now is to bring me Luòyīng Mountain to get me some clothes.

As soon as I hear the word clothes, I immediately oppose of it, I turn and roll on the ground, despite Yin Zi's persuasion, I remain firmly unaffected.

In the end, Luo Sha pushes him aside and stands in front of me, and firmly says, "If you do not wear your clothes, I will string your meat and bones together and roast it to eat!"

Owner once told me that there are some very sick minded people that likes to eat cat meat, and Luo Sha's vivid description......scared me and my ears dropped, desperately afraid, in order not to become roast cat, I hastened to agree to wear the clothes.

Bull devil seeing me nod, whispers to Luo Sha, "Wife, you really smart."

Luo Sha gently smile and tells him, "I also do this to coax our child to sleep."

I was immersed in a roast cat fantasy terror world, unable to recover for a long time.

Following my decision to go back, white smoke enveloped Yin Zi body again, and once the smoke was gone, on the ground was a white crow, my food is back.

Yet another sad ending, the crow suddenly became larger, until finally, his outstretched wings blot out the sky.

I have never seen such a large bird, so I had no idea where to start eating. Bull devil grabs and places me on the back of the bird.

After everybody has gotten up, the crow takes off to the clouds, gracefully across the sky.

The white feathers are soft and comfortable, the white clouds dancing next to me on the horizon, and everything on the ground became ants as violent wind brushes against my cheek. This scenery reminds me of when I fell from the tenth floor, only much more beautiful.

Perhaps this is the way to go home, I will be able to see my beloved cat litter and owner.

"Meow woo~~" I happily cried out as I thought about it.

The crow seems to feel my excitement, he continues flying high, as if we're flying to the sun.

Those pair of white wings under the brilliant sunshine looks even more beautiful and attractive.

I also got more and more excitement, and as my excitement reaches its peak, I can no longer control my emotions and took a bite.

"Ahhhhhhh!!!" The crow's earth-shattering scream.

The smooth flight began to jolt, the crow began to roll in midair.

The bull devil and Luo Sha from behind me quickly stepped forward, they tried to pull me away and shouted in unison,

"Sister, stop biting Yin Zi!!! Let go of him!!"

[geraldsaw]

Wow. Great story. Finished in one go. Need more. Reminds me of the "Monkey go west" ( Steven Chow version where Monkey as a human gets involved with two demon sisters ) when the bull demon uses his fan to sweep the fires bigger.

[HayashiGah-Moon]

Chapter 6 - Giant Elephant's Proposal

There were towering old trees everywhere on Luòyīng Mountain, the entire mountain was shrouded darkness and dampness, as nocturnal creatures, this is a rare and perfect home for cats.

But, this is not my home.

Jumping off the crow's wings, I lay on the ground, sniffing left and right, but I do not smell any familiarity in the air, I sadly look back and called a few times.

Bull devil and Luo Sha glimpse at me, the crow becomes Yin Zi, and he smiles at me and says, "Get up, we're home."

This is not my home.

I sat on the ground, shaking my head unwilling to get up, he forcibly grabs my hand and wants to drag me.

"No!" I fiercly fling Yin Zi away, hitting a tree not far away. This caused the tree and the surrounding area to sway and shake.

The leaves fell like rain. He wiped the blood from his mouth, struggled to stand up, and once again, came to me and grabbed my arm saying, "Stand up!"

I raise my head to look at Yin Zi's gem like black eyes, his eyes full of sadness, I do not know why a sad memory pierces through my brain, so I slowly stood up.

"Good, good, just like that." Bull devil said, wanting to help me up by my other hand, was suddenly stared at by Luo Sha, and immediately retracted.

Yin Zi finally smiled, and escorted me, step by step, I followed his pace and also tried to walk on two feet, but I did not find it as bad as I thought it would be, it was very very comfortable.

I soon began to gallop, occasionally leaping over tree trunks, skipping over streams, and Yin Zi opened up his wings from behind to keep up with my speed.

All of a sudden, the strong scent of a wild beast stops my pace, a one eyed tiger jumps out, standing in front of me, dripping with saliva, and eyes filled with anger, power and a murderous aura.

"Meow!" I frighteningly cried, retreating to Yin Zi's rear, "There.....there's a tiger, kill.....kill it!"

"King please have mercy!" The tiger suddenly knelt down and spits out, "This little one has come late and neglected his duty, please have mercy and spare my life."

I did not understand what he was saying, so I grabbed Yin Zi's collar and told him, "Tiger! Tiger! Quickly kill him!"

The tiger kneeling on the ground kept kowtowing* and shouting, "King, please have mercy! King, please have mercy!"

*To kneel and touch the ground with the forehead in worship or submission as part of Chinese custom.

The shouting from the two of us gets louder and louder, and I grabbed Yin Zi by his neck, and left him simply speechless.

Fortunately bull devil arrives and shouts, "What are you guys doing?"

I quickly release Yin Zi and throw him to one side and called, "There's a tiger! Gēgē help me!"

The bull devil did not react, Luo Sha shoved through him and gently held me, "Don't worry sister, this tiger is very good, very obedient, if you do not believe me then play roll with him."

I look down at his earnest eyes, walking towards the tiger I doubtfully said, "Sit!"

The tiger obediently sat down.

I remember watching puppies training, so I commanded, "Lie down, roll, play dead, and don't move."

This tiger is much more well behaved and obedient than any other dog, obeying all my commands and lying still.

"Fun! Fun!" I clapped my hands and wanted to play some more, but Yin Zi led me into to a hidden cave, saying that I can play later.

I reluctantly look back and catch a glimpse of tiger, he looked at pitifully, maintaining the position not daring to move.

Entering the cave, I looked around, the inside was covered with soft fur cushions and looked very comfortable, but before I was able to roll around, Luo Sha takes me to a nearby room to get dressed. I change into some silky clothes that were very soft, and very light, wearing it and not wearing it made not much of a difference, I was very satisfied. But the most satisfying thing was that there was a hole for my tail, enabling me swing it back and forth.

Then Yin Zi and bull devil began to teach me ideology and moral class, every time I hear it I yawn, they purposely don't let me sleep, only when Luo Sha brings the cooked carp do I break out of this dreary state.

Unfortunately, when I get down to bite the fish, they began to teach dinner etiquette.....

Really annoying.

These loathing classes lasted three full days, I have many times beat Yin Zi flying, too many times making bull devil go mad, and insisted many times that Luo Sha should put down the fish. The tiger seems to be even more unlucky, he maintains his position at the door, laying their motionless for three days, and when I think of him, he must be at the point of starvation.

These three days, Yin Zi and the others have taught me only one sentence to say when I face that huge elephant, "Although I appreciate your offer, this marriage is not to suitable, please let me have some time to reconsider."

In these few days, I have uttered this phrase over a thousand times, casting an unforgivable shadow.

Horrible.

When the day finally came for me to face him, Luo Sha helps me dress properly, and then I was taken to a valley on Luòyīng Mountain.

Before we embark, I remember that I had once seen elephants on the television, it seems they aren't that much bigger than a cat.

But when I actually saw him, I found that I was terribly wrong.

The head of this giant white elephant was as high as the mountain, covering the sky and sun, and when he took a step, the earth trembled. His roar is loud enough to clear the sky of clouds for 9 days, I have to raise my head very high to see his eyes.

Soaring down from the sky, a giant mythical bird descends to the side of the elephant, these two animals occupied the whole valley, as well as a single horned rhino coming from behind.

And me and the others stand in a little corner looking at their demeanor.

Don't bite.....I felt disheartened and lowered my ears, sadly looking at the behemoth in front of me, not knowing where to begin.

As the giant elephant devil began to speak, his voice was a little shy, but very loud and very clear, and it shook my ears.

He said, "Miao, Miao, I love you."

The two words in front I know, even though many people have called me many different names, there is king, boss, sister, righteous sister, stupid cat, cat devil, cat beauty and etc. But Miao Miao and Meow Meow appears much more often, so I understand that I am summoned.

But what do the three words in the back mean? I look back at Yin Zi to ask for help.

Yin Zi was winking at me rapidly and his face almost cramped, I remembered that this was the signal for my lines.
Before I could speak, the giant elephant devil spoke again, "To see Miao Miao in my original form seems to be wrong, I will change into human form."

After he finished speaking, smoke enveloped his body, and a tall man with short white hair appeared, even taller than bull devil. His skin was pale, and he had a large but elegant physique, he wore a silver lock, an iron waistband and had a golden sledge hammer. On his head were two long feathers, like that of a scholar.

The giant mythical bird devil also changed into the form of a thin man with high cheekbones, thin lips, a hawk nose, and a very sharp pair of golden eyes, as if he could see through everything. Dressed in plain clothes with a pair of iron claws on his waist, concealing his spirit.

The horned rhino devil finally managed to squeeze in, he also changed into human form, a little fat, small eyes, no weapons, and laughed a little, he looks very kind and polite.

The giant elephant devil stepped forward, towards me, and timidly took out a piece of paper and handed it to me, "Miss Miao Miao, I wrote a love letter for you."

I look at Yin Zi again, he quickly replies, "She is illiterate, you read it."

The giant elephant devil's face was slightly red, he opened the piece of paper slowly and nervously read out loud, "Brilliantly adorned turtles, warm flower and donkey brew, shrimp rolls, fish head soup, dried flatfish, steamed snapper, drunken*.........."

*These are all foods I think haha lol.

My eyes opened wide with every word that came out, my saliva started to drip, I greedily wanted to pounce......
I did not expect that bastard bird devil to suddenly come up and tug at the giant elephant devil and whispered, "You took the wrong piece of paper, this is a recipe I copied to cook....."

All around were sounds of laughter, the giant elephant devil looked more nervous, he quickly pulled out another piece of paper, blushed, and began reading, "Has dead wild elk, cogongrass package; women in love, the fine gentlemen tempts....."

This time I could not understand him completely.....seeing him shake his head in a daze, the sun made my whole body warm, I can't wait to lie down on the ground and sleep.

I yawned loudly, my tail swinging, I found two feathers on the top of his head swaying. All of a sudden to the east and then all of a sudden towards the west, just like how owner plays with me, and my eyes routinely start moving with the feathers.

Left-right, left-right, left-right.....my heart itches uncontrollably, my nails elongate, intently waiting for a moment when the feathers come to a halt.

When the hypnosis stops, I immediately pounced towards the plume with great force, scaring the giant elephant devil into rolling to escape my claws.

The giant bird devil beside us angrily says, "You stinky old trout of a woman, even if you don't want to marry, you don't need to kill my brother! Die!"

Behind, Yin Zi and bull devil let out a long sigh.

I continue to happily chase the giant elephant devil's feathers, going round and round in circles.