Was wondering if anyone was interested in reading my story? comments would be helpful. good and bad please

Ki Force - magic power

Immortal arts - magic level and name

Immortals - people who have achieved high arts ranks

Chapter 1 Discovery

Within the small village of Roath, the coming of age ceremony for the young lad Surter was about to begin, his excitement was a sight to see, as an orphan boy he dreamed of one day become a legendary figure in the whole world, he hoped and dreamed of becoming a figure that would be remembered even after death, an immortal.

Getting changed he then obediently wait for his caretaker to take him an the other kids to the ceremony of awakening to see how much talent they had for Ki Force, the more aptitude one had for Ki Force the better they could learn in the arts of immortals, although you needed to be at a certain level by 30 years old otherwise your progress would never be able to break through the higher ranks, because after 30 years of age cultivation becomes much slower for those under 16th art, an average person could only get to 8th art before 30yrs, those with exceptional talent can achieve many things more than the average, at the age of 10yrs all the children average or not, can apply to become Forcemages the sects that are in the providence will accept anyone but those that don't bring results after 10 year period will be expelled and their Ki Force shattered, they can learn again but from scratch.

Surter eagerly awaited, it was normal for orphans to want to learn, but most people did not, only because if they did not have talent the chances are they would die after the 10yr period without the sects help, because in the sect they only learn the arts for the first 10yrs then they can learn other things.

A lean man with the Kayle sect insignia on the back of his robed was in the town hall, waiting to see how many people wished to become sect members, this time round when he looked out the window he discovered 23 children waiting to enter, he showed a bitter smile as he scanned them, he then went on to prep the orb and push some of his Ki Force into it, those with talent would make the orb brighten more than those that were average.

Outside a guard looked across the kids with beaming eyes and instructed them on how things went "The sects around the world will accept anyone that is a law, however do know that you will have to be able to reach the 12th art within the first 10 yrs of harsh training or you will be expelled!, after the testing the instructor will advise you on what to do, weather to join or not, but you can freely choose, those with talent will be assigned masters if they join our sect, do not be discouraged we will give you 7 days to make your choice and answer" said the guard with a professional voice.

All the kids began whispering to one and other, Surter was in a day dream 'today I my amazing talent will shine!' he thought while having a grin on his face, he then proceeded like all the other kids to line up and wait for the test inside.

one by one the instructor called them in, after 2 minutes or so they would come out, nearly all of the children that went in came out with frowns one could see they had given up 'they most likely had average talent' Surter guessed, he however was very confident!, when his turn came around he looked very excited, the instructor saw this and then smiled bitterly, he then instructed Surtur on what to do, Surter then followed the instruction, the light then beamed but gradually calmed down, the instructors faces was frowning 'another average one' he thought while sighing.

"Boy, your talent is average" he said with an indifferent face, Surters face became pale "No it cant be!" he replied with teary eyes, " let me try again!" he say's with a shaky voice.

Looking into the poor boys eyes the man sighed and signalled for him to try again... after 4 more attempts, Surter no longer had a smile his eyes filled with tears, "Boy, you may try to learn the arts, but you would need to work very hard" the man says out of pity, "but I advise against it, No one with average talent has ever become a Forcemage" he says looking at surter, the boy then looks up and begins to walk away, "you have one month to make your decision" the man says with an indifferent voice, "come here if you wish to join" his voice echoed, Surter although upset was very determined, he was not upset but shocked at the outcome, but his mind was still set on becoming a legend, just now he wavered as he did not know how he would do so, he knew very well that even if he practised for 10 yrs even with hard work he would only reach the 4th - 5th art, as he read in books about other people whom have tried and then gotten expelled, he knew very well if he got expelled his life would be over, it would take him 30yrs or so years to reach 10th - 11th art, if they allowed him that sort of time then he would be capable but they didn't so his mind was in disorder, because he knew full well at 30yrs of age cultivation slowed down, and even at 40yrs he would most likely still not reach the 12th required art, even for those with talent without hard work they might not reach it, slowly his dreams now cam to a giant wall which he did not know how to overcome.

'Kids have no determination, they give up before trying' the instructor thought to himself with bitter eyes, because today no one with talent was discovered, he wanted to leave but had to stay a month to see who wanted to join, although upon seeing everyone's reactions, he knew no one would come.