Chien

[zoey]

A draft version of my fanfic, trying to get some ideas about the story before i write the final draft. Spinoff of HSDS by jin yong. So if you could tolerate abundant grammar errors, and not offended by the fact that this is a spinoff; I would appreciate any comments or suggestions before i pen down my other ideas.
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The night was dark and not a sliver of light was seen for miles to come as the moon was hidden under the gauze of night. Thick layers of rain pelted down onto the grounds and tapped out a desolate tune for the late night travelers on the lonely road.

The carriage wheels races down the trail sending great puddles of muddy water flying through the air. A loud cough sounds from the interior of the carriage. “Young Master, we’ll arrive at shelter soon.” A thread of worry seeded itself in Young Cai’s mind as a long series of cough was his only answer. Young Cai’s whip flew down as he spurred the horses faster down the trail towards the distant glimmer of light.

Young Cai’s face lit up as his hopes were answered and the faint outline of an inn appeared against the dark backdrop of night. A pair of red lanterns hangs out front of the inn and glowed brilliantly upon the canvas of darkness beckoning the nightly travelers. The beckon of the siren.

Young Cai paid attention to nothing except the fact that shelter was in the distant as he sped the horses faster towards the inn. With a firm grip Young Cai pulls the horses to a full stop in front of the inn, “Young Master we’ve arrived.” Young Cai said with a jubilant voice as he dismounts from the driver’s seat and opens an umbrella for his young master.

A young man in his early twenties exited from the carriage, his face was slim and slender. The man was in his prime but his complexion was as pale as a ghost and it was almost like he was glowing as the paleness of his skin contrasted with the night’s darkness. A series of cough racked Li Yang’s frail body as he found shelter under the umbrella of Young Cai.

Young Cai rubbed his hand against his young master’s back, as the coughing subsided. Li Yang tipped his head in an unspoken gesture of gratitude as he exited from the carriage and took his first step towards the waiting inn. Li Yang lifted his head and his eyes ran across the words on the overhanging sign, “White Crane Inn.”

Li Yang’s eyes cleared and shined like with the brightness of the moon as the name of the inn registered in his mind. His eyes immediately darted to the dual banks on either side of the inn. Thin rays of light glimmered and shined on both banks and slowly the lights converged to from a sketchy line across the dark sea line. “Young Cai, as always you’ve chose the most suitable shelter for the night.”

“Young Master there is no other inn for miles to come, and it wouldn’t be beneficial for your health to travel another night on the road.” Little Cai protested.

A queer smile graced Li Yang’s lips, “ No matter,” Li Yang commented lightly as he walked along the short road towards the Inn, “After all what better place is there to witness a storm then at the eye of it.”

“Storm,” Young Cai said flabbergasted, “But the rain storm should clear up by morning it shouldn’t impede our travel, Young Master.” Young Cai pushed opened the huge door and cleared a path for his master.

Li Yang smiled broadly, “the rainstorm is ending. But a storm of unknown proportion that has brewed for the past 3 years has just reached its peak.” Li Yang said as he entered the rowdy inn and Young Cai followed closely by totally confused with the words of his master.

[zoey]

Young Cai patted the water droplet from his shirt as he greeted the innkeeper, “Good Sir,” Young Cai said with a wide smile, “me and my master would want a quiet room for the night, and a hot meal.” Young Cai placed a small piece of silver on the counter and Li Yang’s small pipe interceded and tapped Young Cai’s hand, “We’ll take the room for the night, but let’s take our meal in the dining parlor.” Li Yang said as he walked into the inn and took a deep breath of the scent of life.

Li Yang’s eyes scanned the dining parlor and greedily it devoured in the bustling life and noise that surrounds him on all sides. He smiled dizzily as he climbed the stairs heading towards the empty table on the balcony overlooking the main dining section of the inn. Young Cai ran quickly behind his master and finally pulled at his sleeve, “Young Master, shouldn’t you rest for the next leg of the journey instead of exerting yourself.”

Li Yang took a seat and fiddled with the chopsticks as Young Cai poured a cup of fresh tea, “A respite from the long travel would be appropriate. I suppose we could stay here for a couple more days.”

“Days!” Young Cai repeated nearly spurting out the gulp of hot tea he held in his mouth, “But just yesterday you were rushing me to speed our journey to Lake Bi. Now you’re talking about a rest.”

“It would be a shame to leave without witnessing the events that awaits us.” Li Yang murmured while he sipped the tea.

“What’s so special about this run down inn,” Young Cai muttered.

“Young Cai what do you know about the Heavenly Dragon Sect?”

“A small sect that controls a third of the waterways of Chang Jiang,” Young Cai replied nonchalantly. Suddenly Young Cai’s eyes lit up with a rare spark, “Young Master, even though the war for control of the Chang Jiang waters haven’t ceased between the three sects since time immemorial, its highly unlikely that the Great Whale or Pure Sands sect would come this deep into enemy territory.” Young Cai said with a smirk on his face as he refilled his master cup of tea, “Young Master I think you’ll be disappointed if you’re looking forward to a clash between Heavenly Dragon and the Great Whale Sect in this lowly inn.”

Li Yang picked the cup of tea off the table and sipped it silently as his eyes scanned the growing crowds gathering at White Crane Inn. The crowds gathered like the dark clouds before a great storm, people from all walks of life and all ranks seem to cluster within this tiny inn. Li Yang’s eyes ran over the genteel, the rugged, the obnoxious, and the aloof. Some were as devious as foxes that hope to manipulate this disaster to their own advantage, some were as keen as vultures that hope to gather scraps from whoever proves to be victorious, and some like Li Yang were only here to watch and see. The stage is long set, but the players have yet to ascend the center stage.

Li Yang emptied the cup of tea in one large gulp and the tea cup clinked against the wooden table, “We’ll see.”

Before Young Cai could reply the doors to the entrance flung open and a breezy gust of wintry wind blew through the inn. A silhouette of a broad shouldered male loomed over the entrance; Young Cai diverted his eyes to the door to catch a glimpse of Han Yun.

Han Yun was clothed in dark robes that made him nearly invisible in the night, but his features were striking under the gentle lights of the moon. Han’s features were like those carved under the knife of an expert craftsman, sharp and precise with no room for softness. Han held the air of a gentleman but his eyes betrays his character as blatantly as the broad saber in his hands.

As if bidden by an unseen force Han Yun looks up at the corner of the balcony where Li Yang was seated. For a second their eyes met and locked, finally Li Yang tipped his head in acknowledgement as he picked up a fresh cup of tea. Han Yun smiled thinly with traces of unease as a waiter led Han into the inner chambers of White Crane Inn.

Han lowered his head and greeted Lady Yip sitting in the center of the waiting room. The door closed behind Han as he walked forward and took a seat across from Lady Yip. “Lady Yip, I believe you have received my letter, may I inquire about your decisions for the matter?”

“It doesn’t seem like I have much choice now does it.” Lady Yip said as she walked over to the window and flung it open. She starred out at the darkness of night and her eyes trailed across the parallel banks bordering White Crane Inn. A thin line of reddish light could me made out from the naked eye, “It seems like you’ve planned this for a long time.”

Han was silent for a moment awestruck by the grace of Lady Yip. Beautiful woman there were plenty but it’s indeed rare to find one that dons the air of regality as comfortably as if it was a second skin. Her skin was pure as the fresh summer snow and eyes were round and bright as the full moon but none of these could compare to her presence that mesmerizes all that it graces.

Han Yun slipped the cloak off his shoulders and placed it over the shoulder of Lady Yip, “My Lady the night is cold.” Mei Liang turned around and looked briefly at Han Yun. Although the glance was brief but it had not failed in capturing the heart of Han Yun.

“Master Han, you could leave now.” Mei Liang said abruptly as she placed the letter in the way of the candle and lit it in flames.

Han was shocked at the sudden turn of events, “Lady Yip, I beg you to reconsider.” Han Yun said as he watches the peace agreement engulfed in flames, “Have you ever considered the consequences if Long Tian does not come?”

“Then I die.” Mei Liang said with such aloofness that was quite chilling under the circumstances, “But if Young Lord Long does come.” Mei Liang paused as her eyes fixed steely upon Han Yun’s face, “then you die.”

[JigSta]

hey nice writing style